Bangkok Dangerous (2008)
Directed by The Pang Brothers
Written by The Pang Brothers
Starring Nicolas Cage, Charlie Yeung
Release Date September 5th, 2008
Published September 5th, 2008
The Nicolas Cage bad hair hypothesis goes something like this. In Leaving Las Vegas, arguably Cage's finest work, his hair looks relatively normal. In the goofball actioner Con Air; Cage's hair is a salt and pepper mullet. In Matchstick Men; Cage's sartorial look is tight to the skull and looks good. In Next Cage goes with a big forehead and extensions in the back and the movie is as foolish as his hairstyle. For his latest action flick Bangkok Dangerous, Cage has gone back to the giant forehead, long weave in the back look and as per the hypothesis, the movie is as ludicrous as the hair.
Bangkok Dangerous stars Nicolas Cage as Joe, an international assassin for hire. Needless to say, Joe is not his real name. Joe is a ghost. Moving from place to place killing for whomever pays, Joe has become a relatively wealthy man. His latest job will be his most lucrative to date. Hired in Thailand to kill four men in a single week, Joe looks to make the score of his career.
With so much work and the secret of his identity to keep, Joe hires a local named Kong (Shahkrit Hannarm) to be his courier. The wide eyed Kong was a mere street thief but after meeting Joe he decides he wants to learn to be a killer. Eventually, Kong becomes Joe's student. Though this breaks his rule of no personal attachments, Joe can't help but see a little of himself in Kong.
Breaking another rule, Joe finds himself falling for a deaf, mute pharmacy worker who helps him with a cut on his arm. She is told that he is a banker but soon she will witness his true profession. The plot turns on Joe having to decide whether he will kill a rising political star or heed Kong's warning that the man is a true man of the people.
Danny and Oxide Pang already made this movie. Produced in 1999, the original Bangkok Dangerous is allegedly exciting, action packed and carries an emotional wallop. The new Bangkok Dangerous is a lumbering, clumsy, dull movie that has one impactful scene at the very end but by then, trust me, you won't care all that much.
Bored nearly to sleep by Cage's laconic voiceover and yawning attempt at looking intense, I could not help but become obsessed with that ridiculous looking haircut. I know that making fun of personal appearance is not really the realm of a movie critic, especially one with my colicky do, but I must say the hair was distracting.
Wearing a weave of black hair extensions that cling desperately to what little real hair Cage has left, the style is something akin to mangy black lab spray painted here and there but clearly losing it's hair. Look, I feel for Nic Cage. No man wants to lose his hair. With Bruce Willis having beat him to the bald look, Cage has little choice but to try and cling to what little hair he has and what he can try and attach to what is left.
Nicolas Cage's hair aside, the most damning sin of Bangkok Dangerous is being an absolute snooze. Why, if the movie were any good I might not have noticed Cage's haircut at all. OK, that's not true. But it might not be the dominant memory of the movie. As it is, Cage's cut is the perfect metaphor for the film itself, a ludicrous attempt to cling to the remains of something that came and went years ago. (the original Bangkok Dangerous came out in 1999).
