The Cave (2005) – A Soggy, Sinking Creature Feature

 

  
By Sean Patrick

Originally Published: August 27, 2005 | Updated for Blog: June 2025


🎬 Movie Information

  • Title: The Cave

  • Release Date: August 26, 2005

  • Director: Bruce Hunt

  • Writers: Michael Steinberg, Tegan West

  • Starring: Cole Hauser, Morris Chestnut, Eddie Cibrian, Lena Headey, Piper Perabo

  • Genre: Creature Feature / Sci-Fi Horror

  • Runtime: 97 minutes


🧭 The Premise


Did you know that cave diver is a legitimate profession? I didn’t. It sounds more like something from a long-lost Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode than a real job. That makes The Cave even more frustrating—it takes this fascinating concept and flushes it into the depths of derivative monster movie mediocrity.


The plot follows a crew of expert cave divers, led by Cole Hauser, who are hired to explore a recently uncovered underground cave system beneath a ruined Eastern European church. Naturally, it’s cursed. As they descend, the divers are picked off one by one by unseen creatures that look like the leftovers from a rejected Alien vs. Predator storyboard.


🎭 Performances: Cardboard Characters and Confused Casting


Cole Hauser leads the cast, continuing his puzzling ascension to top billing after Paparazzi. His character is generic, but he’s hardly the weakest link. That honor might belong to Eddie Cibrian, who delivers a performance so blank it’s like he wandered in from a toothpaste commercial.


Morris Chestnut reprises a role eerily similar to his turn in Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid, and again, his talents are wasted. Piper Perabo, once a rising star after Coyote Ugly, is mostly background decoration here. Lena Headey fares slightly better, but that’s not saying much.


Worst of all, the film can’t even keep its characters straight. At one point, Chestnut and Cibrian’s characters appear to swap names mid-scene. And poor Daniel Dae Kim, pre-Lost, doesn’t even get a proper character—just “that guy in the background.”


🌊 The Good Stuff: Underwater Cinematography


There is one area where The Cave deserves praise: the underwater cinematography. Ross Emery’s work behind the camera, along with underwater unit director Wes Skiles, delivers crisp, clean visuals. The cave diving scenes look authentic and immersive, and the scuba equipment—according to a friend of mine who dives professionally—is top-tier.


If only the story above the surface had the same polish.


🧟‍♂️ A Monster Mashup That Lacks Bite


The Cave wants to be Alien but ends up more like Deep Rising meets Mimic on a bad day. It’s a creature feature checklist: claustrophobic setting, isolated team, mysterious organism, body count. But what made Alien great—character tension, smart direction, iconic design—is sorely missing.


The plot is threadbare, the dialogue is expositional, and the monsters are mostly hidden (likely to mask underwhelming CGI). There’s no tension, no build-up, and no reason to care when characters start disappearing.


💬 Final Thoughts


Creature features don’t have to be smart, but they do need personality. The Cave offers little more than pretty underwater shots and a few cheap jump scares. It’s a derivative dive into tired tropes and wasted talent.


This is the kind of movie Mystery Science Theater 3000 was made for. I found myself daydreaming about Mike Nelson, Tom Servo, and Crow T. Robot tearing this thing apart. That would have been far more entertaining than anything The Cave offers in its 97 minutes.


⭐ Rating: 1.5 out of 5


A few cool visuals can’t save this wet blanket of a horror-thriller. Skip it unless you’re an underwater cinematography enthusiast—or a cave diver in search of some unintentional comedy.


Movie Review: 3:10 to Yuma (2007) – A Masterful Modern Western


James Mangold’s 3:10 to Yuma (2007) is a gritty, muscular remake of the 1957 classic, itself based on Elmore Leonard’s short story. Starring Christian Bale and Russell Crowe, this modern western blends sharp psychological tension with thrilling shootouts. While Mangold had already shown he could tackle intimate drama (*Walk the Line*) and noir-ish thrillers (*Copland*), here he proves his hand at pure genre craftsmanship, creating a western for the 21st century that feels both fresh and timeless.

The premise is elegantly simple: down-on-his-luck rancher Dan Evans (Christian Bale) agrees to escort notorious outlaw Ben Wade (Russell Crowe) to catch the 3:10 train to Yuma prison. Wade’s gang, led by his feral right-hand man Charlie Prince (Ben Foster), is in hot pursuit. As the journey unfolds, what begins as a simple mission becomes a battle of wills, with Evans' integrity and Wade’s enigmatic morality clashing in fascinating ways.

  • Performances: Russell Crowe oozes charm and menace as Ben Wade, giving one of his finest performances. Christian Bale plays the straight-laced Dan Evans with quiet desperation and deep moral conflict. Ben Foster nearly steals the show with his volatile, unpredictable turn as Charlie Prince.
  • Direction: James Mangold strikes gold. His pacing is sharp, the action explosive, and his eye for character dynamics masterful. He keeps the film rooted in classic western structure while modernizing the emotional texture.
  • Dialogue: The script crackles with tension. The exchanges between Wade and Evans elevate the film far beyond shootouts. Their moral sparring is the real duel.
  • Cinematography & Design: The landscapes are dusty and expansive, and the production design evokes a lived-in, grimy Old West without ever looking artificial.
  • Stretching believability: Some might balk at the code of honor the film ultimately leans into, or the occasionally mythic sense of manhood. But for genre fans, that’s part of the appeal.
  • Supporting characters underused: While Peter Fonda’s presence as a grizzled bounty hunter is welcome, a few other characters don’t get much depth.

One of the most quietly riveting scenes unfolds over dinner at Dan Evans’ home. As Wade dines with the Evans family, a subtle power play takes place. Wade flirts—without overtly doing so—with Evans’ wife (Gretchen Mol). The tension in the room simmers below the surface. Mol’s performance is brilliant in its restraint, her flushed cheeks and nervous glances revealing volumes. Crowe exudes quiet confidence. Mangold shoots the scene in tight, intimate frames, drawing the characters closer even as nothing explicit is said. It’s a masterclass in subtext and tension.

3:10 to Yuma is a masterwork—brimming with tension, grit, and emotional depth. It’s not just about guns and grit; it’s about what makes a man, how far a person will go to reclaim self-respect, and whether even the worst men can surprise you. Mangold’s assured direction, Crowe’s devilish charisma, and Bale’s slow-burning intensity combine to create a modern classic. This is one western remake that not only justifies its existence—it surpasses the original in many ways.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars


What’s your favorite modern western? Drop a comment below with your thoughts on 3:10 to Yuma and let me know if you prefer this or the 1957 original!

Enjoyed this review? Check out more Western movie reviews here.

Movie Review: Fantastic Four (2015) – A Superhero Reboot That Falls Apart

Fantastic Four is a 2015 superhero film directed by Josh Trank. It stars Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, and Jamie Bell as the iconic Marvel team. A dark, serious-minded reboot of the comic book classic, the film reimagines the team's origin but struggles with tone, pacing, and cohesion.

Plot Summary

Reed Richards (Miles Teller) and Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell) invent a prototype matter transporter that opens a portal to a parallel dimension. After being recruited by scientist Franklin Storm, Reed joins forces with Johnny Storm (Michael B. Jordan), Sue Storm (Kate Mara), and Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell) to explore the other world. But a catastrophic accident mutates them all. Now imbued with unstable powers, the group must confront personal demons, military interests, and an old friend-turned-enemy threatening to destroy Earth.

What Works
  • Performance: The cast—especially Michael B. Jordan and Jamie Bell—show promise, even if the script underuses them.
  • Direction: Josh Trank brings an initially intriguing, grounded approach to the material, aiming for a sci-fi tone reminiscent of *Chronicle*.
  • Potential: The film hints at compelling character dynamics, especially Ben’s tragic transformation and Reed’s guilt.
What Doesn't Work
  • Pacing: The origin story drags on for too long, with the team only coming together in the final minutes.
  • Visuals: Action sequences are muddled by flat, dark cinematography that undermines excitement.
  • Script & Structure: The film feels disjointed, with last-minute reshoots (and Kate Mara’s wig) emblematic of behind-the-scenes turmoil.
  • Tone: Grim and joyless, the film forgets the fun and family dynamic that made the Fantastic Four beloved in the first place.
Final Thoughts

Fantastic Four (2015) is a cautionary tale of studio interference, creative clashes, and missed potential. Despite a talented cast and a unique approach, it collapses under the weight of competing visions and an incoherent final act. This one is best remembered as a franchise misfire rather than a faithful adaptation.

Rating

Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars


What did you think of Fantastic Four (2015)? Leave a comment below or share your thoughts on what went wrong with this reboot!

If you enjoyed this review, check out my takes on other superhero movies here.

The Cave (2005) – A Soggy, Sinking Creature Feature

     By Sean Patrick Originally Published: August 27, 2005 | Updated for Blog: June 2025 🎬 Movie Information Title:   The Cave Release Dat...