Cupid's Proxy (2017)
Directed by Jason Dallas
Written by Jules Howe
Starring Jet Jurgensmeyer, Valerie Azlynn, Jackee Harry, Steve Byrne
Release Date September 12th, 2017
Published September 11th, 2017
Cupid’s Proxy imagines a world in which newspapers still employ advice columnists like the Landers’ sisters and paid them well enough to live in toney suburbs. The advice columnist here is Olive aka Cupid (Jackee Harry) whose advice column has grown stale and out of touch, much like the newspaper that still employs an advice columnist. To spice up her column Olive turns to the actual star of Cupid’s Proxy, 12 year old Disney star Jet Jurgensmeyer as 12 year old Justin Murphy.
When Olive asks Justin’s advice about what to write to a young reader, she rips off his reply wholesale and it becomes a viral hit. On the verge of being fired, Olive hires the 12 YEAR OLD BOY to give love advice using the kind of stereotypical Millennial-speak that even Millennials would make fun of, and that’s quite an accomplishment considering they’re the first generation post-sarcasm. The story, such as it is, revolves on Justin giving love advice under the pseudonym Cupid’s Proxy and ending up giving love advice to his music teacher, Stewart (Byrne) about how to romance Justin’s own mother Rebecca (Valerie Azlynn).
I promise that the premise is far less creepy in execution than in my horrifying description. There is genuinely nothing insidious about Cupid’s Proxy, it’s just another obvious, unfunny product, market tested into mediocrity. For the most part, Cupid’s Proxy is harmless; some might even find it cute. I found the film cloying, pushy, pointless, slightly sexist and brainless but again, mostly just a mediocrity.
Jet Jurgensmeyer is not a terrible young actor. He seems to have good timing for a young comic actor and he sparks well with the other characters but he’s not ready for the primetime spotlight of a leading role in a feature film. He has yet to master that thin line between trying and trying too hard to sell a gag or a line. It’s something that might come with time but for now, he’s no match for a leading role, especially one as poorly conceived as the lead role in Cupid’s Proxy.
That said, Jurgensmeyer could learn a little something from his young co-star Carolyn Dodd. Dodd plays Nat, a neighbor girl with a crush on Justin. Nat has a bad habit of talking way too fast and way too much and it’s this tick that steals a few scenes and earns a few of the film’s minor chuckles. Dodd has little experience but she’s quite adorable in Cupid’s Proxy, even amid the mediocrity around her.
Read my full length review at Geeks.Media
