Vampire's Suck (2010)
Directed by Jason Friedberg, Eric Seltzer
Written by Jason Friedberg, Eric Seltzer
Starring Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter, Ken Jeong
Release Date August 18th, 2010
Published August 20th, 2010
There is a style of comedy that has failed to develop over the past decade and yet it is still widely practiced. Call it the comedy of association. By mentioning something or mimicking something you are automatically doing something funny. That's the theory. In practice, this style has lead to a series of abysmal movies from “Epic Movie” to “Date Movie” to everything except the first “Scary Movie.”
The makers of these movies are convinced that if they make mention of something, or mimic it well, then the act of doing so is automatically funny. In the new comedy Vampire's Suck this style means mentions of Tiger Woods and Lady Gaga but nothing particularly funny about either of them.
The premise is a humorous take down of the “Twilight” series. Becca (Jenn Proske), get Becca-Bella, anyway, is the new girl in Sporks Washington, again Sporks-forks, anyway. Becca is a sad, lonely outcast as demonstrated by the music on her IPod titled Sad, Lonely, Outcast music.
At school Becca meets Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter), get it Sull... oh nevermind. Edward is a Vampire and he and Becca are destined to fall in love. Also falling for Becca is Jacob (Chris Riggi) who happens to be turning slowly into a dog, I won't give away the big brilliant reveal of what kind of dog but I'm sure things like Edward Sullen give you a strong impression of the kind of humor we're dealing with here.
There really is nothing terrible about “Vampire's Suck.” The cast is game and seems up for any kind of humiliation. Actress Jenn Proske does an exceptional imitation of Kristen Stewart nailing the tics and vocal manners that so many have noted in Stewart's performance as Bella. Sadly, the imitation is better suited for a dinner party bit than for a feature film.
Once the premise is established, in the first 2 minutes of the film, the makers of “Vampire's Suck” tick through references to the first two “Twilight” movies from Edward's introduction to Becca; he wears a hazmat suit because of her scent, to Edward's first visit to Becca's bedroom which ends with an epic blast of gas, as seen in the film's trailer.
One cannot complain when an intentionally dumb movie turns out dumb. What can be complained about is that the film is dumb without wit or purpose. Writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer demonstrate a comic theory that states if something is funny then just mentioning it is automatically funny. Mention Tiger Woods scandal, automatically funny. Mention Lady Gaga, automatically funny.
The theory does not require some witty reference to Woods' troubles or for the film's Lady Gaga surrogate to do anything funny, just featuring them is funny enough. The film fails to offer funny exaggerations of these pop culture memes, the only aim seems to glom on to the existing cultural cache, the seeming agreement among us all that these people are funny to talk about. This theory is a massive failure.
The same theory applies to the film's central fodder, the “Twilight movies.” Friedberg and Seltzer assume that just dressing their characters like those in Twilight and giving them variations on the “Twilight” character names, then automatically these characters are funny.
The “Twilight” movies with their overwrought angst, new style vampires and pretentious Puritanism are ripe for a good send up. It's a big wide target that “Vampire's Suck” somehow misses by a mile. There is no insight, no attempt to understand and expose the flaws of the series. There is merely pale imitation and dull reference.
I laughed once during “Vampire's Suck.” The scene involved the Becca character posting something on Stephanie Meyer's Twitter feed. Sadly, one good joke is not nearly enough to recommend Vampire's Suck. There are still opportunities in this genre. “Airplane” and “The Naked Gun” movies remain cultural touchstones because this type of send up movie has so much potential. That potential is unrealized in “Vampire's Suck.”
