The Cat in the Hat (2003)
Directed by Bo Welch
Written by Alec Berg, David Mandel, Jeff Schaffer
Starring Mike Myers, Alec Baldwin, Kelly Preston, Dakota Fanning, Spencer Breslin
Release Date November 21st, 2003
Published Published November 20th, 2003
Like any kid born after 1957, the books of Theodore Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss, were an important part of my childhood. From Green Eggs and Ham to How The Grinch Stole Christmas to The Cat In The Hat, the Dr's rhyming wordplay and gloriously odd drawings are what helped form my imagination from the time I was able to read.
When The Grinch was turned into a blockbuster starring Jim Carrey, director Ron Howard was able to retain some of the magic of the book while still allowing Jim Carrey to do his thing. The Grinch wasn't a great adaptation but a skillfully crafted one. The same cannot be said of Bo Welch's adaptation of another Seuss classic, The Cat In The Hat which is neither great nor skillful. Rather it's a dreadful exercise in Hollywood blockbuster cynicism.
Mike Myers steps into the fur of the Cat in the Hat, the six foot feline who simply appears out of thin air to reek havoc and entertain a couple kids trapped at home in the rain. The kids in the film adaptation are Conrad (Spencer Breslin) and Sally (Dakota Fanning), brother and sister and different in every way imaginable. Conrad is destructive, messy and out of control. Sally is fastidious, organized and uptight. Their mother (Kelly Preston) works as a real estate agent and is having a party at their house tonight and the house must be perfect for her boss Mr. Humberfloob (Sean Hayes).
Mom has to work and must leave the kids with the narcoleptic Mrs. Kwan, a woman who could sleep through a train wreck in the living room. After a serious scolding from mom the kids agree to keep the house clean while mom works, but once she's gone the plan goes out the window with the sudden arrival of the Cat In the Hat. Thus begins an adventurous day of trying to keep the house from falling down around them and learning a lesson about how to have fun.
Mike Myers is almost indiscernible under piles of fur and rubber. His schtick however, is unmistakable as he bounds from character voice to character voice as if channeling Robin Williams at his manic worst. Myers plays the Cat as a combination of his Austin Powers persona and former flamboyant center square Charles Nelson Reilly. Myers never for a moment resembles the Cat you remember from the book, save of course for the signature red and white stovepipe hat. Aside from the hat however this Cat is a complete creation of Myers and makeup artist Mike Smithson. Much like the recent Austin Powers films, the performance is very hit and miss.
Director Bo Welch, helming his first feature, shows a terrific flair for set design which is not surprising because that is where he got his start. The Cat In The Hat has spectacular sets, production design, costumes, and makeup. If only the same attention had been paid to the script and especially the jokes. The script is credited to three former Seinfeld writers, Alec Berg, David Mandel and Jeff Schaffer. Odd choices to begin with but then the script received a number of uncredited rewrites by Myers who likely wasn't credited because his work was all improvisations on the set.
Being that The Cat In The Hat was not a long story to begin with, the writers had a lot of time to fill. The unfortunate choice to fill that space with fart jokes and other forms of low humor are a deathly decision that destroys any chance the film had to be entertaining. Modernizing the story, allowing Myers to riff on pop culture is fine. Those elements worked to a point with Jim Carrey in The Grinch, but Carrey was at least somewhat restrained by Ron Howard's skilled direction. Bo Welch seems completely at a loss to reign in his star and can think of nothing better than the dreadful grossout humor that would turn Theodore Geisel's stomach.
Adding to the pain is producer Brian Grazer and his Imagine Entertainment marketing staff who cram every frame with disgusting product placement. The producers have already put the Cat in every imaginable commercial from pop to pregnancy tests and the commercials don't stop even after the movie begins. Myers even does a riff reminiscent of his Wayne's World product placement bit. In Wayne's World it was a wonderfully knowing incisive joke. In The Cat In The Hat, it's overkill.
Watching this film’s producers prostitute this wonderful piece of literary history is almost as disheartening as it's disgusting and unnecessary bathroom humor and scatology. In fact, I'm not sure which is worse. Thankfully, there is the lovely young actress Dakota Fanning who gives another terrific performance in a film well beneath her talents. Dakota Fanning deserves a far better film and the book The Cat In the Hat doesn't deserve this treatment.
