Showing posts with label Alec Baldwin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alec Baldwin. Show all posts

Movie Review Blind

Blind (2017) 

Directed by Michael Mailer 

Written by John Buffalo Mailer 

Starring Demi Moore, Alec Baldwin

Release Date July 14th, 2017 

In nearly 20 years as a film critic, I have seen more than my share of terrible movies. I have seen The Room without the Rifftrax commentary track. I sat all the way through The Happening with my mind reeling at the incompetence of M. Night shyamalan’s most incomprehensible work. And I have seen all the Transformers movies which should qualify me for some sort of movie critic combat pay. But in nearly 20 years I can genuinely say I have never seen anything quite like Blind.

Blind is a film of such remarkable, incomprehensible awfulness that it can comfortably stand alongside the oeuvre of Tommy Wiseau and not feel out of place. Directed by longtime producer and first-time director Michael Mailer, Blind takes very talented, formerly big name stars, Alec Baldwin and Demi Moore, and renders them as amateurs via a script, editing, and direction that could only kindly be described as amateurish at best, and blatantly, intentionally incompetent at worst.




The Questionable Ethics of Rust Resuming Production

On Thursday, October 21st, 2021, actor Alec Baldwin pulled the trigger on what he thought was a 'cold gun,' a real gun on the set of a movie that is not loaded. Unfortunately, this particular weapon was loaded and when Baldwin pulled the trigger, a bullet struck Cinematographer Halyna Hutchins and killed her. It also wounded director Joel Souza who was looking over Hutchins' shoulder as the shot was fired. Hutchins died on the way to the hospital. 

A subsequent investigation of the shooting still has not been resolved nearly one year later. Nevertheless, on October 5th, 2022, Director Joel Souza and the production team behind Rust, a western starring Alec Baldwin, will resume production of the film soon. The decision was made to continue after reaching a financial settlement with the family of Halyna Hutchins. Director Souza released a statement accompanying the announcement that claimed that resuming filming of Rust would be a tribute to Halyna Hutchins. 

Honoring Halyna Hutchins 

Regardless of the platitudes, resuming production of Rust is a cold and calculated business decision. For all of the supposed tributes and dedications to Halyna Hutchins, the cold hard reality here is that the people who invested money in making Rust want to make their money. Not only that, but the film now has a higher profile than it would ever have had had this on set tragedy not occurred. While we can only speculate about the motivations of the Rust production team, they can't escape the fact that Rust went from a likely candidate for the vast Video on Demand Rental market to a movie that carries a morbid curiosity around it. 

Of the many issues that must be wrestled with is the idea that due to the death of Halyna Hutchins, Rust has a higher profile than ever before. The New York Times, arguably the biggest of the big in American journalism announced the resumption of production on Rust in a Breaking News blast. That's coverage normally reserved for high budget blockbusters, not for obscure westerns starring Alec Baldwin. Prior to the death of Halyna Hutchins, most film consumers were unlikely to ever know Rust had been made. Now, with the tragedy, the film is front page news. 

Morbid Curiosity 

No matter what Alec Baldwin, Director Joel Souza, or the production team behind Rust says, the reality is they are capitalizing on the death of Halyna Hutchins. They can blame the media, they can blame the film consuming public for only wanting to see their movie out of morbid curiosity, but they can't escape the fact that any dollar made on this movie is now blood money. The entire profile of this film is now related specifically to this tragedy. 

Click here for my full length article at Geeks.Media



Movie Review Pearl Harbor

Pearl Harbor (2001)

Directed by Michael Bay 

Written by Randall Wallace

Starring Ben Affleck, Josh Hartnett, Kate Beckinsale, Cuba Gooding Jr., Tom Sizemore, Alec Baldwin

Release Date May 25th, 2001

Published May 25th, 2011 

The blockbuster Pearl Harbor turns 10 years old this month and so I decided to look back on it with new eyes a decade later.

Movies are not living things; they don’t grow or change or evolve over time. Once a film is completed it will, generally speaking, be as it is forever. What does change? We do. We age and we mature and our intellect and tastes evolve over time. Our ever evolving tastes and growing intellect can change the way we experience a movie.

It is with this in mind that I endeavor to look back 10, 20 and 30 years at some of the most well remembered movies of all time and see how my own evolving tastes effect the way I experience these movies. I invite you to join me on this unique journey and offer your own insights ever changing opinions.

Evolving the human element

The blockbuster Pearl Harbor turns 10 years old in May of 2011. My first experience with Pearl Harbor was not good. I was in my second year as a full time film critic for a now defunct website called Bikkit.com. The website and my original Pearl Harbor review are long gone but I can recall a scathing, often snide review that may have invoked the words jingoistic and manipulative.

I have always been very hard on director Michael Bay. He has an extraordinary talent for scope and scale and could be fairly considered a modern day Darryl Zanuck or D.W Griffith, filmmakers of the grandest vision. Disappointingly, for all his talent for staging massive productions, Bay has never evolved the human element of his filmmaking.

Disingenuous and insincere

The characters in a Michael Bay film are stick figures weighted down by leaden dialogue and sublimated by large scale special effects. Sadly, Pearl Harbor is no different from any other Michael Bay film. Despite a harrowing historic tale, Bay delivers characters in Pearl Harbor that never resonate and never come to life before our eyes.

So busy is Michael Bay restaging one of the worst days in American history with painstaking detail, he forgets to populate his stage with characters of resonance whose experiences we can believe in. Two false, forced romances and several coat hanger characters--actors assigned to hold up archetypes of real people—leave Pearl Harbor feeling disingenuous and insincere.

Faux romance

The glossy, 1940’s style romance of Pearl Harbor is a cheesy throwback that lacks passion because it’s infused only with nostalgia. Ben Affleck is a terrific actor but teamed with Kate Beckinsale in a series of facile romantic encounters he leaves no real impression beyond his handsomeness and her beauty.

Josh Hartnett brings a soulful quality to the character of Danny and his struggle with falling for his best friend’s girl but Michael Bay has no interest in exploring or allowing these characters to expand upon the difficulty of their situation. Instead, we get scenes of the happy couple swimming and frolicking in the sand as stand-ins for real interaction.

The dual romances appear in Pearl Harbor not because the story was of interest to Michael Bay or screenwriter Randall Wallace. No, the romance exists solely as a marketing ploy, a way to sell a war movie to mass audiences. Instead of being honestly romantic the love triangle subplot cheapens the movie and makes all around it feel hollow.

Undeniably awesome CGI effects

There is tremendous power to be found in the action scenes of Pearl Harbor. I have no honest idea how well Michael Bay and his exceptionally talented team captured what December 7th 1941 was like but the veterans of that day, interviewed on the Pearl Harbor DVD, offer no criticism.

The action, especially an extraordinary dogfight sequence early in the film while Affleck’s pilot Rafe McCawley is fighting with the British against the Germans, is as exciting an action sequence as any you’ve ever seen. The Pearl Harbor sequence is a monotonous onslaught of special effects and CGI but they are very effective special effects and CGI and you are hard pressed not to be compelled by the action.

Gorgeous Cinematography

The cinematography of Pearl Harbor is immaculate. The deep focus and bright colors of Pearl Harbor add to the scope and scale of the story and create some unbelievably beautiful pictures. The gorgeous orange skyline of a scene where Hartnett and Beckinsale go for an unscheduled flight around the Hawaiian Islands threatens to create the romance that the actors never muster.

In many ways Pearl Harbor is a remarkable film. Michael Bay has the vision of Howard Hughes and the limitless imagination of old school directors like Howard Hawks and Victor Fleming. Bay only lacks the human element. Were Michael Bay ever to figure out how to make his characters as compelling as his special effects he would be a rival to James Cameron and Steven Speilberg as a mainstream artist.

A decade later the same result

Unfortunately, in the 10 years since the making of Pearl Harbor Michael Bay has not developed the human touch; in fact with his Transformers movies he has regressed even further into a director of automatons.

In the end, my experience with Pearl Harbor 10 years later was not much different than it was the first time. I’ve dropped the word jingoistic as it seemed a little harsh in retrospect and I have offered a little more praise for the effects than I did the first time but my overall experience of the film is fundamentally the same. I still don’t like it, the flaws that I saw as a young, fiery junior critic are still seen as flaws to the much calmer, measured and professional critic of today.

Movie Review It's Complicated

It's Complicated (2009) 

Directed by Nancy Meyers 

Written by Nancy Meyers 

Starring Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin, John Krasinski 

Release Date December 25th, 2009

Published December 25th, 2009

Director Nancy Meyers has cornered the market in romantic comedies exploring the love lives of older women and the flawed men who love them. She created the template with her “Something’s Gotta Give.” Now with “It’s Complicated” starring the radiant Meryl Streep, Meyers has perfected her easy going formula romance.

Streep stars as Jane, a 50-something divorcee preparing for her last child to leave the nest. Meanwhile, she is still dealing with her divorce some ten years later. Her ex-husband Jerry (Alec Baldwin) left her for a much younger woman (Lake Bell in a thankless, under-written villain role) but remains a part of her life.

On a trip to New York for the graduation of her son, Jane finds herself alone in a bar with Jerry when some of the old sparks flare up. The two end up in bed together and at the beginning of, no kidding, an affair. Jane is cheered on in the affair by her circle of girlfriends, including Rita Wilson, Mary Kay Place and Alexandra Wentworth, who love the idea of her getting a little revenge on the younger woman.

As the affair heats up Jane finds another opportunity for romance in Allan (Steve Martin). He is her architect, planning a new kitchen for her already fabulous home. The way he seems to know everything she wants sparks first a friendship and then a romance that is threatened by her dalliance with Jerry and Jerry’s growing new love for his old flame.

The title offers the idea that these two romances will offer something ‘complicated’ but there is nothing much complicated at all in Nancy Meyers’ very simple, straight-forward narrative that sets characters on very particular paths and leads them to easy conclusions and warm, easygoing laughs.

“It’s Complicated” is formula romance in the best possible fashion. It does not reinvent the genre but it does deliver the formula in such a charming fashion that you eagerly forgive the familiarity. The goodwill stems from a cast filled with charmers and led by the legendary Meryl Streep.

It is one of the more remarkable stories of the decade; how Meryl Streep has evolved from respected actress to respected box office superstar. At an age where other actresses are searching for work, Streep has become a bigger star than she was when she was repeatedly being nominated for the industry’s highest awards.

“It’s Complicated” will likely join “Mamma Mia” and “The Devil Wears Prada” as massive hits and it is due to Streep’s wonderfully relaxed star power. Her ease with every role allows audiences to settle in with her, their sympathies won over by Streep’s mere presence. While the appeal is fairly limited to women in her age range, it is quite a thing that she has brought so many of them to the box office.

Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin provide ideal foils for Ms. Streep’s radiance. Baldwin hasn’t been this winning on the big screen since his role as a fallen star in David Mamet’s “State and Main.” As for Martin, he continues to cultivate the sensitive good guy persona he copped in the otherwise execrable “Shopgirl.”

“It’s Complicated” is formula romance done right. Played out with style and professionalism by a terrific set of leads, “It’s Complicated” is the perfect balance of romance and comedy for empty nesters searching for a movie just for them.

Movie Review Married to the Mob

Married to the Mob (1988) 

Directed by Jonathan Demme

Written by Barry Stugatz, Mark Burns 

Starring Michelle Pfeiffer, Matthew Modine, Alec Baldwin, Dean Stockwell, Oliver Platt

Release Date August 19th, 1988

Published August 18th, 2018 

Married to the Mob stars Michelle Pfeiffer in one of the best performances in her incredible career. As Angela DeMarco, the increasingly uncomfortable mob wife of ‘Cucumber’ Frank DeMarco (Alec Baldwin), Pfeiffer is the only sympathetic character in a universe of cartoonish killer criminals and duplicitous, weirdo FBI guys. Pfeiffer is the only element of Married to the Mob that makes complete sense.

Angela DeMarco wants out of the life of a mob wife. The bloom is off the rose of being married to a man who furnished their home with items that ‘fell off a truck.’ Angela is tired of the politics that come with being a mob wife which means spending a lot of time with fellow mob wives, a group of shrill, crispy-haired, harridans led by the Boss’s wife, Connie (Mercedes Ruehl), who demands that all mob wives follow her lead.

While Angela is plotting her escape from the mob world, FBI Agent Mike Downey (Mathew Modine) is looking for his way in so he can take down the whole thing. Mike and his partner Benitez (Oliver Platt) have been after mob boss Tony ‘The Tiger’ Russo for a while now and when things break down between Tony and Frank and Angela becomes a target of Tony’s affection, Mike has his way to get after the boss, if he can keep from falling for Angela himself.

Married to the Mob is a strange movie. The title is comically overlong and humorously ill-suited to the actual content of the film. The mob clichés are comically over the top. The Italian accents, the greasy hair, the mob lingo are right out of a parody. The story however, features mob killings that would feel at home in an episode of The Sopranos. Despite the comic accents, Dean Stockwell and Alec Baldwin play their characters with a seriousness at odds with the supposed comic nature of the movie.

Then there is Michelle Pfeiffer who plays Angela completely straight, with none of the comically over-arching touches that Mercedes Ruehl and the rest of the female cast, bring to their characters. When she begins the romantic plot with Matthew Modine’s FBI Agent, posing as a plumber while using Angela as bait to catch Tony, the romance has a light touch but she doesn’t play any single beat with the comedy that director Jonathan Demme appears to be directing her toward.

Modine’s character as well is really strange. He appears to be a comic character early on as he and Oliver Platt dip into strange banter, they have a weird slow motion high-five that appears for no real good reason. Then there is the bizarre glimpse of his home life where he has a Pee-Wee Herman style set up to help him put on his suit. It kind of fits the bizarre comic tone of Married to the Mob but the joke only serves to make him seem like a weirdo and not a romantic hero.

Everyone in Married to the Mob appears to be doing their own bit of business. The accents, the hairstyles, the odd quirks, every character seems to take a moment to demonstrate an odd trait and none of it appears to fit either in the comedy that the movie kind of is and the mob drama that the movie also kind of is. All of that said, these touches give the film personality but where that personality fits in in terms of genre is a mystery that keeps the film from greatness.

There are great moments throughout Married to the Mob and Jonathan Demme is a fine director who brings personality to the film but he can’t seem to decide whether we are to take the film seriously or laugh at it. Characters like Mercedes Ruehl are playing straight comedy while Dean Stockwell, who was nominated for an Academy Award for this performance, and Michelle Pfeiffer are taking the film relatively seriously.

The film is a tonal mess. Comedy, violence, mob drama and mob comedy, Married to the Mob is filled with personality but it’s a Sybil-esque personality in which we never know which movie is on screen from scene to scene. I don’t have a huge dislike for Married to the Mob but I can’t fully embrace the movie, outside of Michelle Pfeiffer’s star-turn, because it is such a whiplash of weird shifts in tone.

Married to the Mob was released 30 years ago this weekend.

Movie Review My Best Friend's Girl

My Best Friend's Girl (2008) 

Directed by Howard Deutch

Written by Jordan Kahan 

Starring Dane Cook, Kate Hudson, Jason Biggs, Lizzy Kaplan, Alec Baldwin

Release Date September 19th, 2008

Published September 19th, 2008 

Picture in your mind's eye Kate Hudson. Blonde and beautiful with a screwball quality that she got from her mom Goldie Hawn. Now imagine Jason Biggs. The pie guy from American Pie. Twitchy, neurotic far from conventionally handsome. Considering his most recent roles, gay/not gay in Over Her Dead Body, 12 bananna to Paul Walker and a bunch of dogs in Eight Below.

To believe the premise of the new romantic comedy My Best Friend's Girl you have to buy the idea that Hudson and Biggs could ever have been a couple. Then again, if this were the only contrivance of this insulting and stupid comedy, things might not be so dismal.

In My Best Friend's Girl Jason Biggs plays Dusty, a whiny, needy little dweeb who somehow has for five weeks been the steady companion of Kate Hudson's Alexis. After Dusty takes her out to an expensive dinner and fumblingly confesses his love for her Alexis finally realizes just how much time she has wasted. She dumps him.

Returning home, Dusty confides in his roommate Tank (Dane Cook). What luck for Dusty that his roommate has a side business being a misogynist a-hole to depressed women. Tank's gig is going out with girls who have just dumped douchebags, cheaters and jerks. Tank takes the girls out, is a complete pig and the girls go crying back to the ex's who look kind and wonderful by comparison.

So Dusty hires Tank to work his anti-magic on Alexis and.....

If you don't already know where this is going you should consider your mental health alternatives. The plot could not be more insultingly predictable if it were a Dane Cook stand up routine. Directed by Howard Deutsch, who was once the gentle, thoughtful director of Pretty In Pink and Some Kind of Wonderful, My Best Friend's Girl grinds through an achingly conventional plot attempting to liven things up by allowing Cook's Tank to ratchet up his sociopathy.

Apparently we are supposed to find Tank endearing in the same way we found Will Smith's Hitch charming. Both characters are all about helping guys in need right? Yup, they are really alike. Except that Hitch is played by Will Smith with the charm and warmth of.. well Will freaking Smith. Tank is played by Dane Cook in his typically spastic, unpleasant fashion.

As a stand up comic Dane Cook masks bad jokes behind the veneer of gangliness. spasming limbs and pseudo-clever catchphrases. Invariably, ask a Cook fan, usually college age and female, why he is so funny and they will reply that he is "hot". There is no denying that at over 6 feet tall, muscled up and insanely self confident, Cook knows how to draw people to him.

That appeal however has yet to find a film forum. Instead, the roles Dane Cook plays inevitably feel like roles Adam Sandler turned down. He has never seemed natural or comfortable on screen. He strains for every punchline, much like his physical begging for laughs in his stand up, and hides very often behind broad misogynistic or gag reflex humor.

Don't believe the misogynist thing? In My Best Friend's Girl, like the worst of Sandler's shtick, every woman is excitedly in love with Cook. It doesn't matter what a dirtball he is, every woman on screen is commanded to swoon over him. This is the ego of the misogynist. And while some of you will dismiss it as harmless, I worry about the message we are sending to the young girls growing up as Dane Cook fans.

My Best Friend's Girl has an unexpressed bitter sadness to it. The premise is hate filled and desperate and then forces itself toward a saccharine happy ending. Howard Deutsch should know better. Then again, he has directed 3 sequels to films where he did not direct the original. He has developed into a hack and saddled with an awful script and Dane Cook in the cast the writing was on the wall from production day 1.

Kate Hudson's career meltdown is too sad to consider while Jason Biggs is just pathetic. Dane Cook however is a disaster. He was already not very funny. Asked to play a jerk character only amplifies the qualities that make him unwatchable.

Movie Review The Good Shepherd

The Good Shepherd (2006)

Directed by Robert DeNiro 

Written by Eric Roth

Starring Matt Damon, Alec Baldwin, Michael Gambon, Joe Pesci, Eddie Redmayne 

Release Date December 22nd, 2006

Published December 21st, 2006

Playing a super spy has been great for Matt Damon's career. As secret agent Jason Bourne, Damon has found world wide stardom and massive blockbuster returns. Now for his latest super spy role, Damon goes an entirely different direction. As Edward Wilson the protagonist of The Good Shepherd, Damon helps track the founding of the Central Intelligence Agency and the rise of real life spycraft.

With no karate moves, or even a gun, Damon crafts yet another exceptionally watchable spy character; though not one likely to be sequelize.

Edward Wilson's (Matt Damon) initiation into the spy game was heartbreaking. Wilson was approached by an FBI agent (Alec Baldwin) and informed that his favorite professor (Michael Gambon) was a Nazi sympathizer. Using his trusted position in the professors inner circle, Wilson attended a party with the professor and a Nazi intelligence officer during which Wilson steals the evidence necessary to hang his mentor.

Of course were you to believe any of what you see in the spy game, you are not really much of a spy. Robert De Niro's unique, sometimes breathtaking, always absorbing spy drama The Good Shepherd is filled with twists and turns that will leave lesser audience members dazed and confused. With a complicated time shifting narrative, and a close to the vest, poker faced performance from Matt Damon, The Good Shepherd can, at times, seem impenetrable. Audiences willing to invest in the film's complications will be rewarded with one of the better spy pictures they've seen in a long while.

Charting the founding of the CIA with the fictional story of a man who became that institution's backbone, The Good Shepherd indulges in some spy cliches but justifies those cliches by acting as if this film invented them. Check the multi-layered double talk that Damon engages in throughout. If you are paying attention you might be able to decipher what the characters are saying. If however, your attention span doesn't allow for languid pacing and complicated scripting, you might want to sit this one out.

The Good Shepherd draws you in slowly and rewards you with a movie watching experience that is absorbing and almost hypnotic. Damon's performance is aloof but daringly so. His Edward Wilson is consistently duplicitous and frighteningly quiet and calculating. At the same time, the secretive nature of the character is seductive. He puzzles you with his elusiveness so that in the rare moment that we catch an emotion flash across his face; it nearly takes your breath away.

Robert DeNiro's direction of The Good Shepherd is precise without ever becoming mechanical. His warm, dark visual style works at  odds with a coldly efficient story. The Good Shepherd is classic, old school filmmaking, reminiscent of the kind of complex storytelling prevalent in the 60's and early 70's when movies weren't dominated by the need to satisfy younger demographics. This is a smart, adult minded movie that works at its own pace. If it drags in the middle; it's as much a function of the modern attention span as it is DeNiro's expensive form of storytelling.

The Good Shepherd is an absorbing, though slightly overlong, spy tale that features yet another career-making performance by Matt Damon. Robert DeNiro's direction is understated and underestimated. All of those years working with Scorsese have paid off in DeNiro's great eye and scene setting ability. And, thankfully, the story is as strong as the acting and direction.

The Good Shepherd needs a bit of a trim around the middle, but overall, this is an easy film to recommend. A smart, adult minded thriller with a classical sense of how to tell a story.

Movie Review My Sister's Keeper

My Sister's Keeper (2009) 

Directed by Nick Cassavetes 

Written by Jeremy Leven, Nick Cassavetes 

Starring Cameron Diaz, Abigail Breslin, Jason Patric, Alec Baldwin, Joan Cusack

Release Date June 26th, 2009

Published June 25th, 2009 

There is a serviceable Lifetime Movie somewhere in the dark morass of My Sister's Keeper. This weepie about a teen with terminal cancer and the familial strife surrounding that diagnosis is quite the tear puller. At times I actually felt as if the movie was attempting to extract the fluids from eyes by any means necessary but the tears never came.

Instead, there is a feeling of vast indifference tinged with the irritation at the varying attempts at manipulation. All movies are manipulative. The better movies hide their manipulations behind great drama, comedy, tragedy and various other implements of storytelling manipulation. My Sister's Keeper is much more naked in its pushy nature and that makes it off-putting.

Abigail Breslin, best known as the wonderful little pageant contestant from Little Miss Sunshine, stars in My Sister's Keeper as 11 year old Anna. Where most kids were the result of an accident or surprise, Anna was planned. Her parents, Sara (Cameron Diaz) and Brian (Jason Patric) had Anna as a way of saving the life of their cancer stricken daughter Kate (Sofia Vassilieva).

If you're overly movie literate you might start thinking about This Island Earth or The Island, sci-fi movies about people born in labs to be used as spare parts for rich counterparts. This is not science fiction. My Sister's Keeper is based in some real science. Through gene manipulation Anna was designed specifically with elements that could be helpful to Kate.

Now, with Kate nearing the end and needing a kidney transplant to buy a few more months, Anna says no. She hires an attorney she saw on TV, Campbell Alexander (Alec Baldwin) and sues for medical emancipation. Though she says it is her decision it's clear to us there is more to it. It's also clear that mom and dad are clueless as a function of the plot.

The pushy melodramatics of My Sister's Keeper serve to, at the very least, keep the melancholy at a distance. Take away all of the forced drama and what you are left with is a movie of a teenager dying of cancer. Not an unworthy story but not something that fits into the neat Hollywood box of melodramatic story manipulation.

Cancer seems too serious and too real for something as facile and tedious as the melodrama of My Sister's Keeper. Sofia Vassilieva does a tremendous job of making us feel for Kate but she is betrayed by a story and style that renders her a plot point in her own story.

Director Nick Cassavetes knows a little something about manipulative melodrama, he directed The Notebook. That film however hid the strings it pulled to get you to feel what it wanted you to feel. Was it pushy? Yes, but the sights and the romance hid that to a point and made tolerable the obvious contrivance of the story.

No such hiding in My Sister's Keeper. The movie exploits the teen with cancer conceit to score easy sympathy points as it pushes the audience from one emotional response to the next. That the film avoids becoming smarmy in its exploitation is a tribute to a talented if undermined cast.

My Sister's Keeper is an obvious, naked attempt at audience manipulation. Weak melodrama hidden behind the veil of disease of the week cynicism. It would be shameful if this talented cast weren't capable of making some of the material rise above the exploitation. In the end, My Sister's Keeper is merely a bad movie, just short of despicable.

Movie Review The Cat in the Hat

The Cat in the Hat (2003) 

Directed by Bo Welch

Written by Alec Berg, David Mandel, Jeff Schaffer

Starring Mike Myers, Alec Baldwin, Kelly Preston, Dakota Fanning, Spencer Breslin

Release Date November 21st, 2003 

Published Published November 20th, 2003

Like any kid born after 1957, the books of Theodore Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss, were an important part of my childhood. From Green Eggs and Ham to How The Grinch Stole Christmas to The Cat In The Hat, the Dr's rhyming wordplay and gloriously odd drawings are what helped form my imagination from the time I was able to read.

When The Grinch was turned into a blockbuster starring Jim Carrey, director Ron Howard was able to retain some of the magic of the book while still allowing Jim Carrey to do his thing. The Grinch wasn't a great adaptation but a skillfully crafted one. The same cannot be said of Bo Welch's adaptation of another Seuss classic, The Cat In The Hat which is neither great nor skillful. Rather it's a dreadful exercise in Hollywood blockbuster cynicism.

Mike Myers steps into the fur of the Cat in the Hat, the six foot feline who simply appears out of thin air to reek havoc and entertain a couple kids trapped at home in the rain. The kids in the film adaptation are Conrad (Spencer Breslin) and Sally (Dakota Fanning), brother and sister and different in every way imaginable. Conrad is destructive, messy and out of control. Sally is fastidious, organized and uptight. Their mother (Kelly Preston) works as a real estate agent and is having a party at their house tonight and the house must be perfect for her boss Mr. Humberfloob (Sean Hayes).

Mom has to work and must leave the kids with the narcoleptic Mrs. Kwan, a woman who could sleep through a train wreck in the living room. After a serious scolding from mom the kids agree to keep the house clean while mom works, but once she's gone the plan goes out the window with the sudden arrival of the Cat In the Hat. Thus begins an adventurous day of trying to keep the house from falling down around them and learning a lesson about how to have fun.

Mike Myers is almost indiscernible under piles of fur and rubber. His schtick however, is unmistakable as he bounds from character voice to character voice as if channeling Robin Williams at his manic worst. Myers plays the Cat as a combination of his Austin Powers persona and former flamboyant center square Charles Nelson Reilly. Myers never for a moment resembles the Cat you remember from the book, save of course for the signature red and white stovepipe hat. Aside from the hat however this Cat is a complete creation of Myers and makeup artist Mike Smithson. Much like the recent Austin Powers films, the performance is very hit and miss.

Director Bo Welch, helming his first feature, shows a terrific flair for set design which is not surprising because that is where he got his start. The Cat In The Hat has spectacular sets, production design, costumes, and makeup. If only the same attention had been paid to the script and especially the jokes. The script is credited to three former Seinfeld writers, Alec Berg, David Mandel and Jeff Schaffer. Odd choices to begin with but then the script received a number of uncredited rewrites by Myers who likely wasn't credited because his work was all improvisations on the set.

Being that The Cat In The Hat was not a long story to begin with, the writers had a lot of time to fill. The unfortunate choice to fill that space with fart jokes and other forms of low humor are a deathly decision that destroys any chance the film had to be entertaining. Modernizing the story, allowing Myers to riff on pop culture is fine. Those elements worked to a point with Jim Carrey in The Grinch, but Carrey was at least somewhat restrained by Ron Howard's skilled direction. Bo Welch seems completely at a loss to reign in his star and can think of nothing better than the dreadful grossout humor that would turn Theodore Geisel's stomach.

Adding to the pain is producer Brian Grazer and his Imagine Entertainment marketing staff who cram every frame with disgusting product placement. The producers have already put the Cat in every imaginable commercial from pop to pregnancy tests and the commercials don't stop even after the movie begins. Myers even does a riff reminiscent of his Wayne's World product placement bit. In Wayne's World it was a wonderfully knowing incisive joke. In The Cat In The Hat, it's overkill.

Watching this film’s producers prostitute this wonderful piece of literary history is almost as disheartening as it's disgusting and unnecessary bathroom humor and scatology. In fact, I'm not sure which is worse. Thankfully, there is the lovely young actress Dakota Fanning who gives another terrific performance in a film well beneath her talents. Dakota Fanning deserves a far better film and the book The Cat In the Hat doesn't deserve this treatment. 

Movie Review: Elizabethtown

Elizabethtown (2005) 

Directed by Cameron Crowe 

Written by Cameron Crowe 

Starring Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, Alec Baldwin, Susan Sarandon, Judy Greer

Release Date October 14th, 2005 

Published October 15th, 2006 

I have wrestled with loving Cameron Crowe's “Elizabethtown” ever since it's 2005 release. The film has been part of one of my most significant relationships, she loves the movie and was angry that I found fault with it. It was with her pushing that I have revisited “Elizabethtown” several times in the intervening years and come away with a number of different reactions.

There are so many wonderfully positive things about “Elizabethtown,” the most notable of which is the extraordinary soundtrack. Of course, Cameron Crowe is a master of movie music so this soundtrack can come as no surprise but the way he uses music in the film does surprise and delight. Listen for the delicate grooves not only of the score done by Crowe's now ex-wife Ann Wilson but also the callbacks to songs by Tom Petty and My Morning Jacket that filter in unexpectedly and underline important scenes.

Watch the unique way Crowe uses the unusual Elton John song My Father's Gun as a mournful reckoning for how Orlando Bloom's Drew Baylor feels as he takes up with the distant family that had loved his father but seemingly held his family at a distance. It's wonderful how the awkward lyrics about the civil war and family legacy coalesce with Drew's discomfort among his extended family.

The music is perfect from scene one with The Hollies Jesus Was a Crossmaker through the end with a brief reprise of Tom Petty's underappreciated It'll All Work Out. Listen to the way that Crowe uses Tom Petty throughout “Elizabethtown” and marvel at the subtlety of director and musician in perfect concert. It'll All Work Out is used just after Drew promises to kill himself and just as his savior/love interest Claire is introduced. The song is our reassuring underline to let us know that though Drew will struggle he will survive. It's much more subtle without my description.

I cannot get enough of Cameron Crowe's ear for music and eye for knowing where exactly to use it in his films. It's a remarkable and underrated talent. With that said, there are a number of issues that I have had with “Elizabethtown” from the first time I saw it, through my first disappointed review through repeated viewings and reevaluations of the film over five years.

The plot begins with Drew Baylor, a 20 something shoe designer for a Nike-esque shoe company in Oregon. Drew has just designed an innovative new work out shoe that has met with massive public disapproval. So bad was the shoe's reception among the public that Drew is being fired and the company is about to lose something close to a billion dollars.

The company's owner, Phil (Alec Baldwin) quotes one critic as saying that this shoe could send a generation back to bare feet. This section is filled with logical inconsistencies and minor quibbles that undercut Drew's dramatic journey. First up is the name of the shoe: Spasmotica. There simply is no company in the world that would release a shoe called Spasmotica and no consumer that would purchase it.

It's a quibble but there is simply no way a multibillion dollar company would not have tested the public reaction to the shoe before committing nearly a billion dollars in marketing and production to it. The title would not have survived the first testing phase nor likely would the design which is something akin to a Ray fish. We are told that Drew is a genius and an artist given free reign and it's simply not believable.

This is important because it leads to Drew's dramatic decision to take his own life which is the driving force for the rest of his sad journey. We must believe in Drew's desperation or he seems merely pathetic. Orlando Bloom does a fabulous job lifting the audience past logical inconsistencies enough that they don't sink the film but its close. If you don't like Bloom and aren't willing to believe his desperation and sadness you will be left out of “Elizabethtown.”

Then, as Drew is contemplating his rather fanciful suicide, he has rigged a carving knife up to an exercise machine that should be enough to stab him directly in the heart; he gets a call informing him that his father has died while visiting family in Elizabethtown. Drew has been drafted to fly to Elizabethtown to retrieve his father’s body and return it home. It’s on the flight that Drew meets Claire, a too helpful flight attendant, and “Elizabethtown” begins showing off its maddening and delightful taste in romance.

Onion A.V Club Head Writer Nathan Rabin coined the phrase Manic Pixie Dream Girl based on a viewing of Kirsten Dunst in “Elizabethtown.” The Manic Pixie Dream Girl is defined as 'that bubbly, shallow cinematic figure that exists in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.' It's a cynical and cutting description of “Elizabethtown's” Claire and one that I have been unable to escape since I read it.

The Manic Pixie Dream Girl has haunted my every viewing of “Elizabethtown” and it's a struggle to put aside Mr. Rabin's dismissive caricature and see Ms. Dunst's performance. Indeed, as written by the sensitive Mr. Crowe, Claire is as much a device as she is a character. So why does she ring so deeply in my soul?

I long for a Claire of my own to rescue me from despair and help me recognize what is good within me while offering judgment free love and fantasy sex following a perfect unintended seduction through mutual sadness and lonely longing. Claire is a little too perfect but is not perfect the fantasy of fantasists? What man did not at one time long for his very own Claire? 

There are problems with this fantasy however and they provide another of the shockingly lazy inconsistencies that plague “Elizabethtown.” In a scene early in Claire and Drew's relationship Claire describes the two of them as 'the substitute people.' They are stand ins in at the moment for the people they each really want. It's Claire's way of keeping distance from Drew, assuming that he is still hooked on his recent ex, Ellen (Jessica Biel). 

She's hedging her bets with him; inventing her own boyfriend as a way of letting Drew off the hook should he carry on with his pining for Ellen. It's a wonderful scene that shows Claire is not the fearless creature who flirted so openly with Drew on his flight to Kentucky and talked so openly with him in their wonderful all night phone call. It's very early in their relationship and Claire needs to be a little weary considering how fast things are moving between them. 

However, later in the film Claire throws the 'substitute people' comment back at Drew as if they were his words and not hers. The logical inconsistency undercuts the drama and impact of what is a very dynamic and dramatic scene. We are also supposed to believe in this scene that Drew, even after so clearly having fallen for Claire, still wants to kill himself. The scene calls for a withering comment from Claire that sets the stage for their reconciliation. Instead, the scene ends on a pair of confusing points.

Unlike any other Cameron Crowe film, “Elizabethtown” calls for desperate leaps in logic and suspensions of disbelief. So why do I still love it? “Elizabethtown” is a shaggy dog of a romance filled with whimsy and life and set to a phenomenal soundtrack. Despite its inconsistencies there are moments of such tenderness, romance and heart that I cannot help but love it.

Many critics have hammered “Elizabethtown” and many cite a scene where Susan Sarandon as Drew's mom performs a stand up comedy routine and a tap dance at her late husband's memorial as the films dramatic nadir. I completely disagree. Sarandon's unguarded emotion in this scene and Cameron Crowe's perfect imagery, shooting Sarandon from behind as she dances capturing her silhouette in a in a spotlight, is utterly gorgeous and the shots of Bloom and Judy Greer as his sister laughing and holding back tears evoke deep sympathy and smiles. 

This scene is wonderful for it's capricious spirit and the memorial scene as a whole is wildly capricious, ending as it does with Drew's cousin's band playing Free Bird as a giant paper Mache bird catches fire and sprinklers flood the hotel ballroom set. Sure, it's indulgent but it's also purely Cameron Crowe and as the “Elizabethtown” love theme score comes in underneath the chaos it's hard not to get caught up. 

That scene is followed up by a darkly comic burial scene that leads to “Elizabethtown's” final flight of odd fancy. Claire has requested that Drew take a road trip home as he takes his father's ashes back to Oregon. She has made him a map of famous tourist traps and places of musical legend and set the whole thing to 42 hours worth of classic songs. When she found the time to make this 'very unique map' is anyone's guess. 

Most odd is why? Why would Drew go to the hotel where Martin Luther King was killed? Why would Drew visit the Survivor Tree in Oklahoma City? What do these tragic places have to do with his journey? These scenes stretch credulity especially as we arrive at the half way point of Drew's journey where Claire is waiting for him. In a fit of ridiculous whimsy that relies on specious timing and luck, Claire sets up Drew to meet her at the Second Largest Farmer's Market in the World. Keep in mind, if Drew had deviated from her map in any way she would have been left there all day waiting. If one thing goes wrong with her goofy plan once he gets there, it involves an odd little scavenger hunt, they may never find each other. 

Crowe's indulgence in this ludicrous ending is overwhelming and yet I find myself excited as Drew searches for Claire's wacky red hat. I cannot help getting caught up because I do so love these characters. Orlando Bloom has never been this winning and Dunst is cuter than ever. I want these two characters together and that proves just how effective Elizabethtown is. Even with its massive flaws these characters and their romance are irresistible.

I love “Elizabethtown.” I still wrestle with its inconsistencies and failures of logic but the characters and soundtrack resonate deeply within to the point that I watch the film compulsively. I have seen the film almost 10 times in the five years since its release and I will watch it again. It’s partly because of my personal connection which remains as strong as ever, going on four years now, but also because Cameron Crowe has a remarkable way with soulful, human stories and tender romance.

Oh, and that ungodly brilliant soundtrack.

Movie Review Fun with Dick and Jane

Fun with Dick and Jane (2005) 

Directed by Dean Parisot

Written by Judd Apatow, Nicholas Stoller 

Starring Jim Carrey, Tea Leoni, Alec Baldwin, Richard Jenkins 

Release Date December 21st, 2005 

Published December 20th, 2005 

Remakes are an inherently lazy project. No matter how well made and recreated they are, remakes are  still telling someone else's story and making a profit on it. Laziness is the hallmark of the remake of 1977's Fun With Dick and Jane. With a talented cast including Jim Carrey and Tea Leoni and a script polish by the very funny Judd Apatow, Fun With Dick and Jane is an all the more depressing effort for the talent involved.

Dick Harper (Jim Carrey) has a great job working in corporate communications for a massive corporation called Globodyne. Things are just about to get even better for Dick when the company CEO, slimily portrayed by Alec Baldwin, decides to promote Dick to vice president and put him on TV to talk up Globodyne's latest financial numbers on a Moneyline-esque cable show. Unfortunately as Dick is putting a smiling face on the numbers the stock tanks live on the air. Dick, as the new face of the company, is completely screwed. The CEO has bankrupted the company, including all the severance and pension funds, and is in the wind, leaving Dick and the company's chief finance officer (Richard Jenkins) to take all of the heat.

This could not be worse timing for the Harper family because Dick's wife Jane (Tea Leoni) has just quit her job as a travel agent to spend more time with their son who is being raised by the nanny (the kid had even adopted the nanny's own broken English accent, in an ugly, awful gag).  Now with both Dick and Jane out of work, and Dick a virtual pariah in his chosen field, the family faces losing all of their accumulated wealth and their home.

After unfortunate attempts by both Dick and Jane to work at new jobs, Dick at a Wal-mart clone and then as a day laborer, in yet another awful gag, and Jane as an aerobics instructor and product tester, the frustrated couple turn to armed robbery to solve their money troubles. Using their son's toy weapon and the rationalization that they were screwed by the system, the couple sets about robbing convenience stores, coffee shops and eventually even an attempted bank heist before finally turning to revenge against the CEO that put them in this predicament.

Fun With Dick and Jane fails because director Dean Parisot and writers Judd Apatow, Nicolas Stoller and Peter Tollin fail to establish whether they are attempting broad slapstick or dark satire. Most of the film plays to star Jim Carrey's strength, broad physical comedy. However, the story of a family losing everything and turning to desperate measures to keep their home is not a story that lends itself to big slapsticky laughs. Thus, the film fishes around searching for laughs in broad set pieces unable to reconcile those with the film's dark subject.

The filmmakers try everything from funny costumes (the couple dressed as Sonny and Cher with Carrey as Cher) to movie parody (Dick and Jane driving a stolen car into a storefront dressed as the Blues Brothers), to irreverent racial humor, but nothing connects with anything more than mild amusement. And, the racial humor is downright offensive. Watching it you don't laugh as much as you squirm in discomfort. 

Director Dean Parisot was the talented director of 2000'sGalaxy Quest, a good natured ribbing of the Star Trek series. There is nothing groundbreaking about that little movie but it hits its target well with good-natured parody. Parisot may be the wrong director for the much darker Dick and Jane in which he irritatingly attempts to force broad comedy out of narrow material. Parisot never finds the right angle on the film's corporate satire and fails miserably in establishing why Dick and Jane must turn to crime in order to survive.

The corporate scandal that costs Dick his job is merely a quick way to get him out of a job so we can get to the supposedly funny attempts at crime. There are a couple of unconvincing scenes of both Dick and Jane trying to work low paying jobs and failing miserably but these scenes fail to help us understand why they must turn to crime. We can feel the plot forcing them toward crime because the crimes are where the supposed comedy is and the filmmakers show their desperation to get through a few setup scenes so they can get the stars into their funny costumes.

Because Jim Carrey and Tea Leoni are such terrifically talented comic actors there are a number of solid laughs in Fun With Dick and Jane. A scene where the couple commit a home invasion robbery dressed in black ninja gear and voice disguisers is funny for the way the couple are like children playing with new toys. Another scene where Dick and Jane ponder their situation while sitting in the unfinished hole where their new hot tub was to be shows each actor's ability to connect with us on a sympathetic level.

Dick and Jane by the standards of decent society aren't good people. They commit serious crimes that are humorously treated by director Dean Parisot but we are never allowed scenes that might help us forgive them their crimes. Simply saying 'it's just a comedy' does not excuse the fact that our protagonists are unpunished criminals. The 1977 version of Fun With Dick and Jane, I'm told, established its heroes as Robin Hood outlaws whose crimes have an undercurrent of social conscience. Yes they were robbers, but when they knocked over banks they also attempted to burn the debt records of other troubled families so that maybe they to could be debt free.

No such moralizing in the new version where the motivation is solely material and selfish. The modern Dick and Jane are concerned about maintaining their social status and regaining their material wealth. A scene where Dick and Jane retrieve their LCD big screen television using some of their ill-gotten gains is played as a moment of triumph with their young son celebrating wildly. I guess, like the nanny, that television was another parent to the kid, which is yet another bit of sardonic humor the film fails to capitalize on.


Spoiler warning!

When at the end our heroes target Baldwin's corporate criminal and end up turning Robin Hood and stealing his money and giving it back to the employees he screwed, we are supposed to admire them. But you can see the plot gears turning as the filmmakers try to redeem these lost characters with one act of deus ex machina, the hand of god, putting everything right with the world in less than 10 minutes screen time.

Fun With Dick and Jane ends with a dedication to the corporations like Enron that have been subjects of the biggest financial swindles in history. Unfortunately, what was intemded to play as an ironic thumb in the eye of these corporations comes off as more of an honest thank you for inspiring this film's failed ideas.  Fun With Dick and Jane never develops into any kind of satire of corporate scandals. The corporate crimes in the movie are a mere backdrop for the flailing slapstick physical comedy. 

Fun With Dick and Jane is yet another sad, lazy Hollywood remake. The work of slacking geniuses picking up paychecks rather than actually making a funny movie.

Documentary Review Fallen

Fallen (2017)  Directed by Thomas Marchese  Written by Documentary  Starring Michael Chiklis  Release Date September 1st, 2017 Published Aug...