Movie Review Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024) 

Directed by Adam Wingard 

Written by Terry Rossio, Simon Barrett, Jeremy Slater 

Starring Rebecca Hall, Bryan Tyree Henry, Dan Stevens Kaylee Hottle 

Release Date March 29th, 2024 

Published April 2nd, 2024 

My apathy towards Godzilla x Kong The New Empire knows no bounds. I saw the film a little before the release and was so unmoved by the movie that I forgot to write a review of it prior to the release. It's such a nonexistent movie for me that I have had to read through the Wiki description of the plot, more than once, to recall the plot of the movie. It's so boringly slick and stupidly loud that the only lasting impact Godzilla x Kong The New Empire had on me was a slight damage to my hearing in my right ear, I think I was too close to the speakers on the right side. 

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire takes Godzilla and King Kong and makes them partners. It's a team up movie in the monster-verse. You can hear the marketing buzzwords bouncing off the walls. King Kong is struggling to adjust to life in Middle Earth, sorry, The Hollow Earth, the inside of the Earth where he hopes to find more giant apes like himself. Thus far, he's made no progress and has spent his time in pain from a toothache. Indeed, the opening act of Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire spends most of its time dealing with Kong's bad tooth. 

Rebecca Hall, gritting her teeth while picking up a big budget paycheck, returns to the franchise as Dr. Ilene Andrews, Monarch Corporation's leading expert on King Kong. It was Dr. Andrews who helped discover the hollow earth and helped get Kong there and away from Godzilla who remains on the surface of the Earth, protecting it by destroying large swaths of it when fighting other 'titans' for dominance. In a moment the movie sure thinks is cute, Godzilla uses the Colisseum in Rome as a Godzilla sized doggy bed. 

The plot kicks in when Godzilla becomes agitated by a signal coming from the hollow Earth. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides

Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides (2011) 

Directed by Rob Marshall

Written by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio

Starring Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Ian McShane, Geoffrey Rush 

Release Date May 20th, 2011 

Published May 19th, 2011 

In the "Star Wars" spoof "Spaceballs" the brilliant Mel Brooks invited cast and audience back for the sequel "Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money." The fourth "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie is subtitled "On Stranger Tides'' but I believe it is only because Brooks still carries a copyright on the much more apt subtitle.

The Fountain is the prize

Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) begins his fourth big screen adventure in London where a failed attempt to rescue his old pal Gibbs (Kevin McNally) leads to Jack being captured himself and being brought before King George (Richard Griffiths, leading a parade of great cameos). The King surprisingly doesn't want to kill Jack but rather to hire him.

The Spanish have found a way to reach the legendary Fountain of Youth and King George wants Jack on a ship leading the way to the Fountain before the Spanish King can drink from it and earn eternal life. Jack has a different plan; though it does involve traveling to the fountain. After an elaborate escape, easily the best scene of the film, Jack finds himself face to face with Jack Sparrow, an imposter hiring a crew under his name.

Blackbeard

The imposter is Angelica (Penelope Cruz) , one of Jack's former flames. After a brief sword fight Jack is scuttled aboard Angelica's ship which happens to be a ship belonging to the legendary bloodthirsty pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane). Angelica seeks the Fountain of Youth on behalf of Blackbeard and Jack is put in charge of getting them there.

Meanwhile, in the tale of Blackbeard and the Spanish is the Royal Navy sailing under a very unusual command. Captain Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) has gone straight and is now loyal to the crown. Barbossa is also chasing the Fountain and after grabbing Gibbs he has Jack, Angelica and Blackbeard in his sights as well.

A Mermaid, Jack

"Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" also features a subplot about a young clergyman played by Sam Claflin and a mermaid named Syrena played by Astrid Berges Frisbey. This plot unfortunately is completely superfluous and really should have been cut from the movie. Claflin is a nice enough actor but if this role was going to matter it needed to be played by someone people recognize.

Sadly even with a new director, Academy Award nominee Rob Marshall, stepping in for Gore Verbinski, "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" suffers from the same bloating that partially sank "Dead Man's Chest" and mired "At World's End" in murk and boredom. There are a solid 40 minutes that could be cut from "On Stranger Tides" 'nearly 140 minute run time and the tightening would make a far better movie.

As it is, the length renders a pretty good movie as a movie. I liked a good deal of "On Stranger Tides," especially Captain Jack's escape from the King's castle. By the end however, I could not wait for "On Stranger Tides" to be over; it didn't help matters that there is a post credits sequence to help set up the next "Pirates" sequel.

Be sure to stretch your legs

Flaws aside, Captain Jack Sparrow is an iconic creation. Even in less than stellar sequels Johnny Depp is wildly entertaining and he is no less charismatic in "On Stranger Tides." The character hasn't gained much complexity or depth through four movies but he has retained spirit and invention and the little touches that Depp brings to Captain Jack from his wildly swinging walk to his, all limbs flailing run, to the minor inflections on his words, Deep breathes a whole lot of life and fun into this shallow character.

Because Johnny Depp is very funny as Captain Jack Sparrow I cannot completely dismiss "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides." Keep your expectations low and your brain turned off and you might just have a good time. Be warned, you might want to get up and take a walk about midway through the movie. "On Stranger Tides" is long enough to make your backside ache if you stay seated for too long.

Movie Review Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End

Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End (2007) 

Directed by Gore Verbinski 

Written by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio 

Starring Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush, Naomie Harris, Chow Yun Fat, Bill Nighy

Release Date May 25th, 2007 

Published May 24th, 2007 

The first Pirates of the Caribbean looked at first blush like some Disney, corporate synergy deal. After all, we are talking about a real life theme park ride made into a movie. Thankfully, however, thanks to the brilliant, Oscar nominated performance of Johnny Depp and the lighthearted direction of Gore Verbinski, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl was a breath of fresh air in a sea of stale blockbusters.

The second Pirates movie, Dead Man's Chest, sadly suffered from sequelitis. Bloated to over 2 and a half hours, the film spun it\'s wheels far too often before its twist ending arrived to turn things around.

Now comes Pirates 3, At World's End which gives the series the kind of coda it deserves. Yes, it is nearly as bloated as the second film, but it is also has equal to, or even more thrills than the original and even more plot twists.

When last we saw Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) he was staring down the gullet of the Kraken, looking death in the eye and cackling like a mad man. Soon after his death his 'friends' Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), Will (Orlando Bloom) and the remaining crew of the Black Pearl realize they need Jack Sparrow back if they are going to fight the new alliance of Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) and the East India Trading Co. headed up by Lord Beckett.

With the aid of the sorceress Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), who raises Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) from the dead for extra help, they must sail to the world's end, to Davy Jones' locker to retrieve Jack. Once they have him they must convene the nine pirate lords and decide whether to run or to fight as one for the pirate way.

There are a dozen other minor subplots in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World\ 's End, not counting the number of twists and turns and shifting character allegiances that boggle the mind. If you have recently seen the second Pirates sequel, Dead Man\'s Chest, you might want to bring some cliff\'s notes on that film so you can follow some of the twists of At World\'s End.

On one hand, the script by Terry Rossio and  Ted Elliott, the writers of all three Pirates movies, has a great deal of depth and complexity. On the other hand the long bits of expository dialogue that attempt to explain the shifting sands of this plot can tend to bog down the movie, as they did to almost deathly effect in Dead Man's Chest.

Thankfully, Director Gore Verbinski rescues At World\'s End from ponderousness by delivering a quicker, funnier film with a strong visual sense and better, more spectacular special effects than anything in either of the first two films.

The centerpiece of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is a spectacular final battle scene set inside a swirling watery vortex. This scene features not merely a massive battle but also the tying of a few major plot strands, a couple of character twists and more than one major... well I\'ll leave you to see it for yourself. All spectacular stuff.

Even with the improved effects, more sure handed direction and all of those plot complications, Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow is once again the major draw of Pirates of the Caribbean. If you, like me, felt his Captain Jack was a little hemmed in by the plot in Dead Man's Chest, there is no such worry in At World's End. Captain Jack is now even crazier and more paranoid, even schizophrenic at times and it all works to grand comic effect.

Wait till you see Captain Jack's return to the screen in ATW. What a hoot. Trapped in purgatory aboard the Black Pearl in some desert oasis, Captain Jack goes all multiple personality and starts imagining hundreds of himself. Imagine a ship's crew worthy of Jack Sparrow's, full on Being John Malkovich, Charlie Kaufman style bizarre. Absolutely wonderful moment.

And I haven\'t even mentioned the crabs.

Not all is well in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I am sad to report, for you Chow Yun Fat fans, the great master of Asian rock'em sock'em cinema is underutilized in what really amounts to a cameo appearance, not what were promised from trailers and commercials which seemed to give him equal billing with the other supporting characters.

The only really great moments for Chow come in his introductory scene in a steam filled underground lair in Singapore. Facing off with Elizabeth and Captain Barbossa, with Will Turner trapped in a Han Solo moment, water tortured in a barrel, this is Pirates Return of the Jedi moment and Chow Yun Fat makes for an exceptional Jabba the Hut.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is a terrific coda for a series that began life as an ugly exercise in corporate synergy and morphed into a truly rollicking adventure series worthy of our exultation's, our huzzahs. Yo ho ho, indeed, this final Pirates film, until someone can convince Disney to spend the 200+ million necessary for another sequel, is a wonderful adventure, a high spirited comedy and most importantly, a grand stage for the great Johnny Depp.

As his Captain Jack slips into icon status, here\ 's hoping Mr. Depp is once again considered by the good people at Oscar. His At World\'s End performance is the most entertaining thing you\'ve seen on screen thus far in 2007 and likely will see all year.

Movie Review Prates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest (2006) 

Directed by Gore Verbinski 

Written by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio 

Starring Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Geoffrey Rush, Bill Nighy, Stellan Skarsgard

Release Date July 7th, 2006 

Published July 5th, 2006 

2003's Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl was a major surprise. Here is a film from the Disney formula factory, based on a theme park ride of all things, produced by mainstream dress meister Jerry Bruckheimer and directed by an unproven talent in Gore Verbinski. With all of these factors the film should have stuck to high heaven. Instead, Pirates of the Caribbean was a high spirited, high seas adventure that features arguably the best performance in the career of one of our greatest actors, Johnny Depp, and a pair of rising stars just ahead of the peak of their talents.

Naturally sequelization was a no-brainer, especially after the film began breaking the bank at the box office. Students of the Hollywood game are well aware that surprise hits like Pirates are once in a lifetime events. So it comes as no surprise that the sequel, subtitled Dead Man's Chest, suffers a case of sequelitis. It's the disease that strikes most, if not all attempts to recapture one time magic; see The Matrix and its sequels as the prime example.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is nowhere near as dreadful as Matrix Revolutions, but it does fail to recapture the swaggering, daggering fun of the original film by being bloated, overwrought and incomplete.

When last we saw Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) he had escaped the gallows and was back as captain of his beloved Black Pearl. Aided by the lovely young couple Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), Jack escaped the villainous Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and was free to return to his scalawag ways and get on with the business of pirating.

Will and Elizabeth have since returned to port to be married. Unfortunately a new man in charge of the English port, Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander), has decided to arrest them for aiding Jack's escape. Beckett is willing to make a deal. If Will can convince Jack to give up his precious broken compass and bring it to Beckett then Will, Elizabeth and Jack himself will have their freedom.

The compass is not actually broken. Rather it is not in the hands of its rightful owner and thus will not point in the direction of its intended destination. The compass points the way to a buried treasure that is not merely gold or precious metal. It points the way to a chest containing the still beating heart of Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) an accursed pirate who sails the seas as an undead sea creature for eternity. Whomever possesses his heart controls Jones and his undead crew.

Jack will not be easily convinced to give up the compass. You see, Jack owes a debt to Davy Jones. It was Jones who gave Jack the Black Pearl some 13 years earlier in exchange for Jack's soul. With Jones now ready to collect the debt, with the help of a monstrous sea creature called 'the kraken', Jack needs to find the heart of Davy Jones to save his own life.

That is plenty of plot and yet barely enough to fill the movie's overlong two hour forty minute runtime. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest suffers from the Hollywood 'bigger is better' syndrome. The idea that because something is bigger or longer that it is somehow better is something Hollywood has practiced but never proven. Dead Man's Chest is further proof of the exact opposite.

Stuffed to the gills with filler scenes of Will's search for Jack, Jack's dalliance with native islanders and a subplot for Jonathon Pryce as Elizabeth's father are all examples of places where director Gore Verbinski might have tightened up the film's narrative.

About the native scenes, not nearly as offensive as those in King Kong, I would hate to lose the rolling cage scene featuring Will and the crew of the Black Pearl inside a giant globe made of human bones being chased downhill by angry natives. The scene is well shot, exciting and quite funny but also quite superfluous to the plot. The scene exists simply to exist. Losing the native portion of the film would cut more than a half hour out of the film's bloated 2 hour 40 minute length and narrow the plot in a more concise manner. Of course, length is not the film's only problem.

Director Gore Verbinski managed a miracle in the first Pirates film corralling a career defining performance from Johnny Depp into what is essentially a factory picture made from a very typical Disney/Bruckheimer formula. For the sequel, unfortunately, Johnny Depp seems to be doing an impression of himself as Jack Sparrow. His heart simply isn't in it this time. Depp does manage more than a few classic moments, especially in his last scene, an instant classic of grand guignol, but for the most part he is going through the motions of recapturing what we remember of Jack Sparrow. There is simply nothing new or energetic about the performance.

Orlando Bloom at least looks more the part of an action hero than he did the first time. Bloom is maturing into a fine actor whose fine features are no longer overshadowing his talent. As written however, his Will Turner does not have a great arc. His part is not nearly as juicy as Jack Sparrow which tends to leave him looking bland but worse yet writers Terry Rossio and Ted Elliott now have him fighting for the love of Elizabeth with Jack Sparrow which only further serves to expose the characters blandness.

As many issues as I have with the film as a whole, I did not truly dislike Dead Man's Chest. The film has some grand adventure wrapped up in its overlong runtime. Watch for the three way sword fight inside a giant wheel, an extended bit of action that actually has something to do with the plot. Especially good in Dead Man's Chest are the special effects that transform the brilliant Bill Nighy into the sea creature Davy Jones.

Essentially a man with a giant squid on his head, Davy Jones is a remarkable feat of CGI creature creation. Nighy's entire face, including the very expressive eyes, is the creation of CGI. This is cutting edge stuff used to very gross but also grand effect. It is not only Nighy's Davy Jones but a whole crew of CGI sea creatures including a pirate with the head of a hammerhead shark and an unrecognizable Stellan Skarsgard as a pirate covered in barnacles and with a secret that becomes an important plot point for Dead Man's Chest and likely for the third installment of Pirates, subtitled At World's End, due in 2007.

Yes, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is the middle child of this major franchise and yes it does feel like it. Though plenty is resolved a lot of unanswered questions are necessarily left open for the next sequel. The unanswered questions aren't quite as annoying as those of the second Lord of The Rings or Matrix films but still irritating.

By the standards of a movie sequel based on a theme park ride, from the Disney/Bruckheimer film factory, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is a fun picture. By the standards of great movie making? The film suffers from Superman-itis on top of its sequelitis. Superman-itis is an affliction that affects films expected to be culture defining moments of pop history that turn out to be less memorable than the hype that surrounds them.

I am recommending Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest for the special effects and occasional flourish of it's grand action scenes but lower your expectations Pirates fans this is not the Curse of the Black Pearl just a pale photocopy.

Movie Review: Deja Vu

Deju Vu (2006) 

Directed by Tony Scott 

Written by Terry Rossio 

Starring Denzel Washington, Val Kilmer, Paula Patton, Bruce Greenwood, Jim Caviezel 

Release Date November 22nd, 2006

Published November 21st, 2006 

The space time continuum seems like simply a Star Trek invention but the fact is many scientists believe time travel is possible. The physics are still unclear but theorists have begun discussing the ethics of time travel and how travelers may effect the history they are visiting. The new sci fi thriller Deja Vu is not a discussion of ethics or science but the film does take vague advantage of the concepts to craft a quick witted action vehicle perfectly suited to the talents of star Denzel Washington and director Tony Scott.

A ferry carrying American soldiers and their families to a party in New Orleans explodes moments after leaving port. Nearly five hundred people are killed including a woman named Claire Kuchaver (Paula Patton). There is something odd about Claire's death however, something that ATF agent Doug Carlin (Denzel Washington) is the first to notice. Claire was not killed in the explosion or the ensuing fire.

Though her body washed ashore with those of the ferry victims, her injuries indicate murder and yet her car is identified as the car that was packed with explosives and placed on the ferry. Convinced that Claire's death is the key to finding the man or men responsible for for the ferry explosion, Carlin is detemined to investigate this case.

His determination and attention to detail catches the eye of FBI agent Pryzwarra (Val Kilmer) who asks Carlin to join his unique investigative unit. Pryzwarra oversees a group of scientists headed up by Dr. Denny (Adam Goldberg) who have invented a device that allows them to peer into the past at a particular moment in time and examine that place in that time from any possible, visible angle.

There are limitations. This time twisting device can only look back four days and twelve hours. It cannot fast forward and it cannot rewind. The key is watching and observing and acting on the details gleaned from observing victims, witnesses and suspects ahead of whatever incident in which they are involved. Carlin leads the team into Claire's life and eventually finds himself chasing Claire and the terrorist through time itself.

To say much more might spoil the fun of this scientifically goofy but modestly entertaining sci fi actioner. Deja Vu toys with the time space continuum and in doing so  reveals a dichotomy in director Tony Scott's telling of the story. On the one hand he has a need to make his story plausible right down to the math. On the other hand is an open admittance of the futility of trying to keep up a realistic timeline. If you can put aside the goofiness and give up on the math, there is a compelling action flick beneath thee convoluted sci fi stuff.

Denzel Washington is a different breed of action hero. He can go hand to hand or gun to gun with the worst of villains but his true talent is as a cerebral presence. His mind cooking behind those blazing eyes is fascinating to climb inside. In Deja Vu we are right there and though he is forced by plot to be clueless at times, he is never made a fool of and in the end he carries us past any questions we might have about the confounding sci fi plot.

The key to enjoying Deja Vu is working hard on the suspension of disbelief. Though it is hard to not get caught up in trying to follow the math of the movie, the folding and unfolding of this unusual timeline, you must realize eventually that the timeline is meaningless and that even the filmmakers could not keep it all straight. Once you can put that aside (if you can put that aside) there is a surprisingly edgy and exciting action picture.

The best scene in Deja Vu is a car chase in which Denzel chases after the bad guy, played by Jesus himself Jim Caviezel, through time. As the bad guy, played by Jim Caviezel, being watched four days in the past, is about to drive out of the range of the equipment, Denzel hops into a modified hummer and chases after him in hopes of keeping his four day old trail in view.

Trust me, this makes complete sense in the movie. The car crashes are big and loud but the context of the chase gives it an extra bit of edge or your seat excitement and what follows plays back into the overall plot in clever ways.

Not alot of Deja Vu makes sense. If you can follow the movie and keep its weird math in some sense of order you will likely watch the film come apart like wet newspaper. Scrtutinize to much and the movie goes to pieces. Watch Deja Vu for the action and for Denzel Washington's always charismatic and compelling presence and you will find much to enjoy in Deja Vu.

Goofy as all get out but still quite entertaining, I'm recommending Deja Vu.

I'm recommending Deja Vu.

Movie Review National Treasure 2 Book of Secrets

National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets 

Directed by Jon Turteltaub 

Written by Cormac Wibberley, Marianne Wibberley, Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio 

Starring Nicolas Cage, Jon Voight, Ed Harris, Diane Kruger, Justin Bartha, Helen Mirren, Harvey Keitel

Release Date December 21st, 2007 

Published December 19th, 2007

2004's National Treasure came out of nowhere to become a late season blockbuster. With its popular take on legendary conspiracies, big time action and stunts and its family safe PG rating, National Treasure was like a perfect map to blockbuster success.

Naturally, with a film so successful there would have to be a sequel and the crew of National Treasure is indeed back. Nicholas Cage returns to the role of Benjamin Franklin Gates, historian, adventurer and most of all treasure hunter. With his electronics wiz pal Riley (Justin Bartha), Ben has been chasing all sorts of treasures for years.

The latest adventure has an important personal connection. As Ben is lecturing to a group of students on the history of his famous family of adventurers and treasure hunters, he is confronted by Mitch Wilkerson (Ed Harris) who claims a scrap of paper from the diary of John Wilkes Booth proves that Gate's great great grandfather conspired to kill President Lincoln.

Knowing that his family history proves otherwise, Ben sets out on a new adventure to track down the evidence that proves his great great grandpa's innocence. The trail leads Ben, Riley and Ben's dad Patrick (Jon Voight) to an ancient book passed down through the ages from one President to another. It's the legendary presidential Book Of Secrets.

Home to all of the greatest conspiracies in history, the book holds the key to whether great great grandpa Gates was a traitor or not. Hot on the trail of the book as well is Wilkerson and his secret society of thugs and Harvey Keitel as an FBI agent whose job has long been keeping on what Ben Gates is up to.

It is impossible to deny the fun of the National Treasure movies. With their goofball stunts and good humor, the movies are inoffensive and easily digestible. While you are watching them you smile and chuckle and for most that will be enough to call it successful.

If you like your movies with low brain power and plenty of distracting explosions and diversions, you will love National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets. You won't recall the experience 10 minutes after it's over, but at least it won't take up space in your memory as it didn't in mine. I have seen National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets twice now and I still needed the Wikipedia plot description and Rottentomatoes reviews of my fellow critics to remind me that the film existed.

Forgettable, low watt entertainment, if you like movies the way you like a good candy bar or a can of soda, you'll like the disposable entertainment of National Treasure.... uh, what was that subtitle again? I forget?

Movie Review Pirates of the Caribbean Curse of the Black Pearl

Pirates of the Caribbean The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) 

Directed by Gore Verbinski 

Written by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio

Starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Jonathan Pryce 

Release Date July 9th, 2003 

Published July 8th, 2003 

It's quite clear that Disney has run out of original movie ideas. Forget the sequels on their slate (The Santa Clause 3 et al). Forget the remakes of the rich Disney backlog (Freaky Friday). Disney is now down making movies of their theme park rides. Last year, they quietly dumped The Country Bears into theaters to critical and audience indifference. Later this year, it's Haunted Mansion with Eddie Murphy. Surely it can't be much longer before we see the Hall of Presidents and Epcot Center on the big screen, provided they can find a star to put on the poster.

That said, Disney has mined one of their theme park rides into a quite successful film. Pirates of The Caribbean may be a super lame theme park ride, but as a movie it's a rollicking adventure story made all the more interesting by awesome performances of two of the industry's best, Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush.

While the thrust of Pirates of The Caribbean is set in motion by the love story between blacksmith Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Governor's daughter Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightly), the story doesn't really kick off until the appearance of the rapscallion pirate Jack Sparrow (Depp). The former captain of the Black Pearl, Sparrow floats into this British Caribbean seaport on a sinking ship with hope that he can steal a ship to chase down the Pearl and its mutinous crew. Sparrow is unable to capture a ship on his own and is captured but not before he discovers Elizabeth in possession of a legendary piece of pirate booty.

Once Jack is aware of the gold medallion that Elizabeth has, somehow so is the crew of the Black Pearl who is led by Captain Barbossa (Rush). They steam to the British port to recapture the gold which legend says can lift the curse that afflicts the crew. After plundering the British, the crew takes Elizabeth and the gold and retreat to their hidden pirate island to lift the curse with the gold piece and Elizabeth’s blood.

While the British military plots its course of action to rescue the Governor's daughter, Will Turner hatches a plan of his own. Spring Jack Sparrow, steal a boat and save the woman he loves. With the help of Sparrow's daring swordplay and cunning piracy, they capture a military boat and set off to find a crew and capture the Black Pearl.

There are a number of twists and turns from there that I won't spoil, but you already know from commercials that the curse on the crew of the Black Pearl is that they are dead but cannot die. Nor can they feel anything, pleasure or pain, rendering them unable to enjoy their plunder unless they can lift the curse. The skeletal pirates, only seen while bathed in moonlight, are a spectacular special effect, well choreographed by Director Gore Verbinski. The effects are done with amazing precision and no doubt will be honored come awards season.

Of course, as impressive as the effects are, they are nothing compared to the performance of Johnny Depp, who is his own special effect. Topped with scraggly dreads, beads and an unruly goatee, Depp minces, preens, and manages to evoke rock star attitude in an 1800's pirate. That according to Depp was exactly what he was going for. In interviews, he claimed to have modeled some of Jack Sparrow on Keith Richards. Actually, it was Keith Richards and Depp's favorite childhood cartoon character Pepe LePue. Whatever the inspiration, the performance is truly inspired and even if the rest of the film had stunk I could recommend Pirates on the strength of Depp's performance alone.

Not to be outdone, Oscar winner Geoffrey Rush preens and hams it up as much as Depp, and to as much success. Being the bad guy, Rush is allowed to growl all his dialogue and chew every bit of scenery that isn't nailed down. Rush appears to relish the freedom of playing a Pirate Captain and his excitement is part of the fun of Pirates of the Caribbean The Curse of the Black Pearl. 

Knightley and Bloom are quite a bland pair in comparison, but how could they not be? Compared to Sparrow and Barbossa, the characters in La Cage aux Folles are bland. Bloom and Knightley are saddled with the film's two most conventional roles of hero and heroine, and though their love story is sweet, it doesn't carry much weight. It’s made even less weighty by a cop out ending that is a little too tidy for a pirate tale.

Director Gore Verbinski shows here, as he did in The Ring, that he hasa steady hand and a strong eye for strong compelling visuals. Verbinski and his team creates an entire pirate universe for the film to exist within, a lively, vibrant and yet lived in place right out of dream conception of where Pirates existed. Creating such a coherent story without having to reign in his over the top performers is another remarakable balancing act that demonstrates Verbinski's talent, he makes his performers comfortable and gets the most out his crew. The best directors can do that.