Movie Review The Snowman

The Snowman (2017) 

Directed by Tomas Alfredson

Written by Peter Straughan, Hossein Amini 

Starring Michael Fassbender, Rebecca Ferguson, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Val Kilmer, J.K Simmons 

Release Date October 20th, 2017 

Before I formally go into my review of The Snowman, let me preface this review stating my respect for director Tomas Alfredson. In press interviews for The Snowman he is not sugar-coating the film’s problems. He’s been up front about the abrupt production time in Norway, the lack of a finished script and the reshoots that nevertheless failed to find the missing pieces of what is one truly jacked up puzzle of a movie.

The Snowman stars Michael Fassbender as the horrifically named detective Harry Hole. Harry is a drunk who likes to pass out and wake up in strange places on the frozen streets of Norway. When he’s relatively sober, Harry is a famed detective whose cases are studied for his remarkable investigative success. His latest case following his latest bender comes when he spies a junior detective, Katrine Bratt (Rebecca Ferguson), sneaking away with confidential files.

Harry decides to take up the younger detective’s cause, investigating a series of bizarre missing person’s cases. Each of the cases focuses on blonde women with secrets of some sort that may or may not be related to sex or something; the film is comically unclear. The killer has a thing for snow which is also rather comical as the film is set in Oslo. When the younger detective mentions that snow is a trigger for the killer we are led to wonder just how big that body count might be considering the part of the world the killer inhabits.

While the serial killer story is the A-Plot, the B-Plot about Harry’s former home life is far more fleshed out and given more development. This is bizarre for a number of reasons but mostly because the stuff about Harry, his ex-girlfriend Rakel (Charlotte Gainsbourg), the son who doesn’t know Harry is his real father (Michael Yates) and Rakel’s suspiciously nice new boyfriend Matthias (Jonas Karlsson) is stunningly dull. Each time the film pauses for the B-Plot to take center stage the film comes to an abrupt, jarring halt.

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal 

Movie Review: Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans

Bad Lieutenant Port of Call New Orleans (2009) 

Directed by Werner Herzog 

Written by William M. Finkelstein

Starring Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes, Jennifer Coolidge, Val Kilmer

Release Date November 20th, 2009

Published November 20th, 2009 

As detective Terrence McDonagh surveys the bloody scene before him, three dead gangsters, a terror shoots through his drug addled mind: "Shoot him again" he shouts. "Why?" says one of his thug cohorts. "Because, his soul's still dancing." The camera pans the scene passing over the dead body of some fat Italian gangster and pausing on what only McDonagh can see, that same gangster's lithe, balletic soul spinning wildly in a break-dance before one final gunshot drops the soul to the floor.

This scene is indicative of what you will get in Werner Herzog's blazingly unconventional re-imagining of Abel Ferrara's darkly comic drama Bad Lieutenant. If this scene intrigues you wait till you see what else Herzog has up his sleeve. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans is a head trip, dark, an ultra-violent comedy that features yet another comeback performance by Nicolas Cage.

Terence McDonagh wasn't a great cop before he got hooked on drugs. As we meet him, Terence and his partner Stevie (Val Kilmer) are two of the last guys out of the precinct as the waters of Katrina are rising. Finding one last prisoner trapped in a cell, Terence and Stevie begin making wagers on how long it will take for the prisoner to drown. Eventually, Terence decides to rescue the guy but not without consequence.

The rescue injured Terence's back leaving him slumped on one side of his body and in constant pain. Terence deals with the pain through a steady stream of hardcore drugs. Cocaine keeps him going but also fuels his dark side. Post accident, Terence patrols the dark corners of a New Orleans that, post-Katrina, is a sort of Sodom before the rapture place. In a scene of ugly humor turning to near horror, Terence rousts a couple coming out of a nightclub and, well, I will leave you to discover what happens next.

In his private life Terence is in love with a high class prostitute named Frankie (Eva Mendes). She is also hooked on cocaine and the two fuel each others addiction by turning drugs into the fuel of their sex life.

The plot of Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans kicks in with the murder of a drug dealing family from Africa in one of the most violent neighborhoods in New Orleans. The cops quickly figure out that the biggest dealer in town is the most likely killer but catching him will take Terence to even stranger and more drugged out places.

Director Werner Herzog is not so much concerned with the twists and turns of a murder plot as he is with giving Nicolas Cage a stage on which to exhibit the talent we all knew was there from his Oscar winning turn in Leaving Las Vegas. Detective McDonagh is the other side of the coin from Ben in Leaving Las Vegas, if the other side of the coin were dirtier and with an even more pronounced death wish.

Yes, the usual Cage histrionics are on display. His hyper-kinetic babbling, his wild haired, wild eyed look, but, this time, it works because the character and the context given by William Finkelstein's excellent script and Werner Herzog's director are the perfect fuel for Cage's antics.

Wildly violent, darkly humorous and directed with freewheeling relish and great skill, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans pays tribute to the disturbing original film while giving the material his own black comic spin. The film also returns Nicolas Cage to Oscar winning form and that is just part of what makes Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans brilliant.

Movie Review: Deja Vu

Deju Vu (2006) 

Directed by Tony Scott 

Written by Terry Rossio 

Starring Denzel Washington, Val Kilmer, Paula Patton, Bruce Greenwood, Jim Caviezel 

Release Date November 22nd, 2006

Published November 21st, 2006 

The space time continuum seems like simply a Star Trek invention but the fact is many scientists believe time travel is possible. The physics are still unclear but theorists have begun discussing the ethics of time travel and how travelers may effect the history they are visiting. The new sci fi thriller Deja Vu is not a discussion of ethics or science but the film does take vague advantage of the concepts to craft a quick witted action vehicle perfectly suited to the talents of star Denzel Washington and director Tony Scott.

A ferry carrying American soldiers and their families to a party in New Orleans explodes moments after leaving port. Nearly five hundred people are killed including a woman named Claire Kuchaver (Paula Patton). There is something odd about Claire's death however, something that ATF agent Doug Carlin (Denzel Washington) is the first to notice. Claire was not killed in the explosion or the ensuing fire.

Though her body washed ashore with those of the ferry victims, her injuries indicate murder and yet her car is identified as the car that was packed with explosives and placed on the ferry. Convinced that Claire's death is the key to finding the man or men responsible for for the ferry explosion, Carlin is detemined to investigate this case.

His determination and attention to detail catches the eye of FBI agent Pryzwarra (Val Kilmer) who asks Carlin to join his unique investigative unit. Pryzwarra oversees a group of scientists headed up by Dr. Denny (Adam Goldberg) who have invented a device that allows them to peer into the past at a particular moment in time and examine that place in that time from any possible, visible angle.

There are limitations. This time twisting device can only look back four days and twelve hours. It cannot fast forward and it cannot rewind. The key is watching and observing and acting on the details gleaned from observing victims, witnesses and suspects ahead of whatever incident in which they are involved. Carlin leads the team into Claire's life and eventually finds himself chasing Claire and the terrorist through time itself.

To say much more might spoil the fun of this scientifically goofy but modestly entertaining sci fi actioner. Deja Vu toys with the time space continuum and in doing so  reveals a dichotomy in director Tony Scott's telling of the story. On the one hand he has a need to make his story plausible right down to the math. On the other hand is an open admittance of the futility of trying to keep up a realistic timeline. If you can put aside the goofiness and give up on the math, there is a compelling action flick beneath thee convoluted sci fi stuff.

Denzel Washington is a different breed of action hero. He can go hand to hand or gun to gun with the worst of villains but his true talent is as a cerebral presence. His mind cooking behind those blazing eyes is fascinating to climb inside. In Deja Vu we are right there and though he is forced by plot to be clueless at times, he is never made a fool of and in the end he carries us past any questions we might have about the confounding sci fi plot.

The key to enjoying Deja Vu is working hard on the suspension of disbelief. Though it is hard to not get caught up in trying to follow the math of the movie, the folding and unfolding of this unusual timeline, you must realize eventually that the timeline is meaningless and that even the filmmakers could not keep it all straight. Once you can put that aside (if you can put that aside) there is a surprisingly edgy and exciting action picture.

The best scene in Deja Vu is a car chase in which Denzel chases after the bad guy, played by Jesus himself Jim Caviezel, through time. As the bad guy, played by Jim Caviezel, being watched four days in the past, is about to drive out of the range of the equipment, Denzel hops into a modified hummer and chases after him in hopes of keeping his four day old trail in view.

Trust me, this makes complete sense in the movie. The car crashes are big and loud but the context of the chase gives it an extra bit of edge or your seat excitement and what follows plays back into the overall plot in clever ways.

Not alot of Deja Vu makes sense. If you can follow the movie and keep its weird math in some sense of order you will likely watch the film come apart like wet newspaper. Scrtutinize to much and the movie goes to pieces. Watch Deja Vu for the action and for Denzel Washington's always charismatic and compelling presence and you will find much to enjoy in Deja Vu.

Goofy as all get out but still quite entertaining, I'm recommending Deja Vu.

I'm recommending Deja Vu.

Movie Review Spartan

Spartan (2004) 

Directed by David Mamet 

Written by David Mamet 

Starring Val Kilmer, Derek Luke, William H. Macy, Ed O'Neill, Kristen Bell 

Release Date March 12th, 2004 

Published March 15th, 2004 

"Where's the girl?"

A line tersely delivered, often through the gritted teeth of aggravated men. This is the writing of David Mamet in his newest incarnation, the action thriller Spartan. Minimalist, to the point, and exciting when delivered by actors with conviction, Mamet's writing is the highlight of all of his films (State and Main, The Spanish Prisoner, House of Games) and when teamed with a capable cast it's sublime in it's simplicity, smarts and humor. Spartan is the latest example of Mamet at his best.

Val Kilmer stars as John Scott, some sort of secret agent though I'm at a loss to figure out who he works for exactly. Scott is first seen on a military training mission with a pair of recruits (Derek Luke and Tia Texada) acting out some exercise that is important to Scott but apparently not the audience. Once the exercise is over, Scott gets a phone call that takes him into the film’s real plot.

Scott is called in to join a task force to search for the daughter of the President, (Kristen Bell). The first daughter was kidnapped, the who and the what is a twist-laden trip into typical thriller territory except smarter and more interesting because David Mamet doesn't know how to do anything typical. First rate dialogue, whip smart plot turns, and a terrific cast make Spartan far better than the usual thriller fare.

In what some are calling a comeback performance, Val Kilmer shines, biting into Mamet's dialogue with the necessary sharpness and clarity. Anyone who calls this a comeback obviously missed his brilliant work in 2002's The Salton Sea, but then sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who ever saw that one. Scott is a rare part for Kilmer's recent outings, it's his first hero role since The Saint.

For Mamet, Spartan seems like an attempt to fit his rather esoteric style into a mainstream film. It's a surprisingly good fit. I have for years belabored the idea that even the most clichéd retread plot can be made well if written, acted and directed with intelligence and the commitment not to fall into the familiar rhythm. Spartan is a mainstream thriller with Mamet's brains in place of the usual thickheaded clichés and that works for me.

I'm tempted to compare Mamet to John Sayles in that both are the preeminent writers of my mind. However, Sayles is more of an artist than Mamet. Where Mamet has a longing for mainstream acceptance, Sayles has a more secular point of view. Sayles isn't interested in appealing to anyone other than himself, Mamet wants to appeal to the populace. It's a dangerous gamble because it can cause a director to compromise vision for demographic.

Thankfully Mamet isn't so desperate as to compromise, at least not in a film he directs himself. His writing assignments for others are questionable. Spartan is not a compromise but an uneasy entreaty into mainstream fare. Let's hope that its box office returns don't lead to future compromise.

Movie Review: Alexander

Alexander (2004) 

Directed by Oliver Stone 

Written by Oliver Stone, Laeta Kalogridis 

Starring Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie, Val Kilmer, Jared Leto, Rosario Dawson, Anthony Hopkins

Release Date November 24th, 2004

Published November 23rd, 2004 

If Aaron Spelling had made a movie about Alexander The Great, it might sound a lot like the one Oliver Stone has just pushed into theaters: A breathy, overcooked melodrama of hot-blooded hardbodies falling in and out of bed in between fighting wars. Oliver Stone's Alexander is a big budget bio-pic that would feel more at home as a trashy TV movie than as a potential Oscar nominee.

Some 300 years before the birth of Christ, one man ruled most of planet Earth before his 32nd birthday. Alexander the Great, the son of King Phillip of Macedonia (Val Kilmer) and Queen Olympias (Angelina Jolie), was never supposed to be king. Because of a feud between his mother and father, Alexander was caught in the midst of a power struggle that leads to his father's murder and suspicion that his mother may have arranged the killing. 

Regardless of how he rose to power, once Alexander took power, he lead his charges to the ends of the world conquering and civilizing all barbarian tribes along the way. His story is marked with the deaths of thousands, but history is written by the victors which may be why Alexander is remembered as a benevolent conqueror who maintained palaces and people in power even after defeating their military forces on the battlefield.

Watching Stone's take on the life of Alexander would leave you to believe that Alexander's bloodiest battles were with his own top advisors, none of whom shared his vision of Asia as part of the Macedonian empire. Alexander's men simply wanted the riches of Asia to take back to Greece or the kingdom of Babylon, but Alexander -- a regular 4th century Jesse Jackson -- wanted a rainbow coalition of subjects who would help him rule the world and mix all the races of man; a regular united colors of Benetton style conqueror. 

Yes, according to Stone, Alexander was a champion of civil rights who even took a Persian wife, Roxana (Rosario Dawson), to placate his new Persian subjects. Alexander was also a champion of gay rights as well often sharing a same-sex canoodle with slaves of various ethnicities and sharing an especially close relationship with one of his top generals, Hephaistos (Jared Leto). The two soldiers never consummate the relationship on screen but it's clear from the dewy-eyed gazes and quivery-voiced declarations that if it wouldn't hurt the box office they might have hopped into bed.

Colin Farrell has played sexually confused man-child before, in the indie A Home At The End Of The World. However, there is a big difference between a broken home teenager searching for a family and an identity and the man who united the kingdoms of man before his 32nd birthday. If you want to play the character gay, that's fine, but do it with more depth than whiny schoolgirl stares and grandiloquent speeches whose only weight comes from the fact that they are delivered with an accent.

What happened to the fire that Colin Farrell used to carry him through his best performance in Tigerland? The fire that made him a logical choice for mega-stardom? Somewhere in the making of Alexander, that fire was replaced by the petulant longings of a dewy-eyed manchild. With his childish mood swings, it's hard to believe that this guy could have conquered his mother’s bedroom let alone the known world. I don't need Alexander to be John Wayne but a little butching up couldn't hurt. 

As for his mother, Jolie's performance provides the film’s only entertaining moments; not for her eloquent line readings or smoldering presence but rather the campy Joan Collins-style overacting she employs. Her every scene reminded me of the behind the scenes scheming that Collins made so deliciously goofy on Dynasty. Kilmer is no John Forsythe but he can bite into the scenery with the best of them and here he's a regular Jeremy Irons, absolutely chewing the walls.

Oliver Stone has always been prone to excess, but even by his standards, Alexander is a little much. His ego is way out in front of his storytelling here and what should be an epic feels more like an exercise of Stone's ability to raise large amounts of studio capital to feed his massive ego. A true disaster, Alexander will be remembered on Oscar night only as the subject of one of Chris Rock's biting monologue punchlines. 

Movie Review: The Salton Sea

The Salton Sea (2002) 

Directed by D.J Caruso

Written by Tony Gayton 

Starring Val Kilmer, Vincent D'Onofrio, Adam Goldberg, Luis Guzman, Peter Sarsgard 

Release Date April 26th, 2002 

Published Apil 25th, 2002 

Stories about Val Kilmer's attitude and ego have clouded such varied productions as The Doors, Batman Forever, and Mission To Mars. It's been reported that on the set of Mission To Mars Kilmer and co-star Tom Sizemore actually came to blows. No matter what is said about Kilmer's attitude, his talent is undeniable, even though his ability to choose good material is questionable (At First Sight, The Saint), But when he does get good material, Kilmer is as good as anyone working today. In the thriller The Salton Sea, Kilmer has excellent material and he is more than equal to it.

Directed by feature film first-timer DJ Caruso, The Salton Sea at first stars Kilmer as our unnamed narrator. Sitting in a burning hotel room holding a trumpet and surrounded by flaming dollar bills, we get a sense of an unfolding noir, but as the narrator leads into his story we get so much more. As our narrator explains he isn't sure who he really is. At one point he was Tom Van Allen, a jazz musician weeks away from marrying the girl of his dreams, Liz (Chandra West). Most recently he was Danny Parker, a speed freak turned police informant. How Tom becomes Danny is told in a flashback within a flashback. To explain that further would destroy one of the films great plot twists. Let's just say that the connection is a little strained but pays off well.

As Danny, our narrator explains his dealings with two cops, Morgan played by The Green Mile's Doug Hutchinson and Garcetti played by the ever reliable Anthony LaPaglia. To keep the cops from busting him, Danny offers to help the cops catch a drug dealer named Pooh Bear. Vincent D'onfrio plays Pooh Bear, one of the most unique and fascinating film characters in a long time. As Pooh Bear, D'onofrio communicates menace with a nasal southern drawl made scarier by the fact that the character has no nose. 

You see, in the lore of The Salton Sea, Pooh Bear sniffed so much speed that his nose had to be removed. He covers the hole in his face with a plastic nose that when taken off delivers a visual punch not soon forgotten. Pooh Bear's unique hobbies include recreating the Kennedy Assassination with pet pigeons in place of the president and Mrs. Kennedy, and torturing his enemies by setting rabid animals loose on their exposed genitals. These unusual traits could make for an over the top and unbelievable character but Pooh Bear's strange southern folksiness and D'onofrio's amazing talent bring the character down to earth and make the character frighteningly believable.

The Salton Sea twists and turns like a combination of Memento and Pulp Fiction run through a blender. Writer Tony Gayton, whose previous credit was the slick detective story Murder By Numbers, here shows a flair for dialogue and characters that is very unexpected when compared to the prepackaged thriller characters he previously put in place. With Director DJ Caruso providing the grimy imagery and Gayton drawing uniquely wild characters, The Salton Sea transcends it's comparisons to stand on it's own as an exciting grunge noir. Though it's not as good as Pulp Fiction or Memento, The Salton Sea shows that it's creators have the potential to do something great.

Val Kilmer and Vincent D'ofrio each deliver career best performances in The Salton Sea. While they could easily have relied on character quirks and lazily gotten by, both actors appear deeply invested in these characters and giving them life. They are both weird and complicated, just the kind of juicy role that a Capital A Actor would want, neither Kilmer or D'onofrio are resting on the wilder aspects of their character. Both actors masterful compel the audience through their energy, the emotion, and the physical presence of these characters. By making Danny and Pooh Bear plausible they make them feel real, even as each are recognizable as characters within an outsized, manipulated noir mystery universe. 

The Salton Sea is one of the best movies of 2002. 

Movie Review: 'Mindhunters'

Mindhunters (2005) 

Directed by Renny Harlin 

Written by Wayne Kramer, Kevin Brobdin, Ehren Kruger

Starring Val Kilmer, LL Cool J, Jonny Lee Miller, Kathryn Morris

Release Date May 13th, 2005 

Published May 12th, 2005 

Mindhunters was a strange affair. The film was completed in 2002 but did not get released by the late Dimension Films until 2005. Why? Who knows, they probably realized the the stinker they had on their hands. After finally blowing the dust off this crusty little thriller with LL Cool J, Val Kilmer and Christian Slater, the newly, non-Weinstein regime at Dimension films finally dumped the film into theaters. Why they bothered with theaters instead of directing it to the video stores of 2005 where it belonged must have been some kind of contractual obligation. There is no other explanation for why garbage like Mindhunters ever made it to such a wide release.

LL Cool J is the star of Mindhunters-- he must have drawn the short straw-- as a shady cop invited to join a group of rookie FBI profilers on a training mission on a deserted island military base. Val Kilmer is the leader of this little band but his role is little more than a cameo.  And, yes, that is Christian Slater as one of the profilers of whose fate the trailer and commercials spoiled mightily and for no good reason whatsoever.

Joining Cool J at the head of the cast is Johnny Lee Miller as Lucas and Kathryn Morris from TV's Cold Case as Sara. They are joined by a group of other semi-recognizable early 2000s character actors including Eion Bailey then of TV's ER, Patricia Velasquez and Clifton Collins Jr. each of whom line up to be victims of the films serial killer as if they were camp counselors having sex at Crystal Lake. Canon fodder is a kind description of the roles played by Bailey, Velasquez and Collins. 

Essentially this little group is on the island to profile a fictional serial killer who is obsessed with time. The military base is set up as a small town with dummies standing in for real people. The profilers must locate the crime scenes, examine the fake dead bodies and assemble the clues that could lead them to the fictional killer. However, as they quickly find out from the death of one of their own, this serial killer is very real.

A search of the island shows the young profilers are either alone on the island, or not entirely thorough, thus leading to the obvious conclusion that one of them is in fact the killer. As the Rube Goldbergian murder devices unfold and remove one obvious victim after another, it is not hard to decipher which characters are going to survive and which is the killer. Morris, Miller and L.L Cool J all have main character powers so it's a safe bet that they are among the top suspects. 

This mess of horror film aesthetic and  thriller clichés attempts to fool audiences but not with clever plot twists and good character work.  No, director Renny Harlin's weapon of choice is utterly incomprehensible stupidity. The film was edited by Neil Farrell and Paul Martin Smith both of whom are wishing the Editors union accepted synonyms like the Directors union's well known Allen Smithee. Mindhunters seems as if it were assembled from different versions of the script each featuring different killers, victims, and survivors. This owes more to Harlin's baffling direction and Wayne Kramer's script than anything these poor and likely tortured editors did.

The mess extends to the acting and dialogue as well, as the confused cast bounds from one ridiculous setup to the next seemingly unaware of which version of the script they are acting from. LL Cool J, Johnny Lee Miller and the rest of the cast wander about looking at each other and seeming to say "No, I'm the killer!" "No I'm the killer!" "Are not!" "Am too!" and on and on throughout most of the final 30 minutes of the film. And somehow the killer still turns out to be easily predictable.

Mindhunters is a real shame because this is a very talented cast. Catherine Morris appeared to be a legit star on her TV show Cold Case in 2005. On that clever CBS crime procedural, her steely demeanor perfectly evoked her tough but vulnerable FBI Agent. In Mindhunters, however, Morris is thoroughly done in by a confused and disorienting script that may or may not have had her as both killer and victim at different points during filming.

LL Cool J, Christian Slater and Val Kilmer are shells of the actors who have flirted with stardom in the past. Kilmer we forget was once Batman, but he is far from even that flawed blockbuster in Mindhunters where apparently he owed the producers a favor. How else can you explain why he accepted this minor and entirely forgettable role. Mindhunters was sadly par for the course at the time for Slater who was coming off of his asleep-at-the-wheel lead role in Alone In The Dark. Mindhunters came at a time well before Mr Robot came around and brought Slater back to the respectable world of working actors. 

LL Cool J is at least an enjoyable star to head up and ham up Mindhunters and his is the only thing remarkable about the film. LL Cool , even in this terrible movie, had the charisma of an A-list celebrity and that helped him to outshine some of this deeply confusing script that I'm sure featured him as killer and victim and survivor and savior at different points during the production.

Johnny Lee Miller, Eion Bailey and Clifton Collins Jr. were terrific young actors in 2005 who had succeeded in the past with strong character work. Miller was once quite the rising star after leading man after starring with his then wife Angelina Jolie in Hackers and then gave a strong turn in the cult hit Trainspotting. Bailey made a good impression with a small role in Fight Club and a memorable performance in the HBO mini-series Band of Brothers. And as for Collins, his best work was in front of him as he once earned genuine Oscar buzz for his supporting role in Capote opposite Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

Watching this terrific cast suffer at the hands of director Renny Harlin is quite painful. All of this talent and  Harlin can do nothing with it but line them up on a formula horror thriller assembly line and eliminate them one by one until he's done picking names out of a hat to decide who lives and who is the killer. To call Renny Harlin a hack is far too simple. After once looking like a star director in the action genre, Harlin regressed as a filmmaker so much that he went from blockbusters to making movies that no longer see a theatrical release. Harlin hasn't seen one of his movies reach theaters in wide release since he made he vomited Exorcist The Beginning into theaters in 2004 to widespread derision and empty box office coffers.