Movie Review Gran Turismo

Gran Turismo (2023) 

Directed by Neil Blomkamp 

Written by Jason Hall, Zach Baylin 

Starring Archie Medekwe, David Harbour, Orlando Bloom, Djimon Hounsou, Geri Halliwell 

Release Date August 25th, 2023 

Published August 22nd, 2023 

There is nothing particularly wrong with Gran Turismo. It's an occasionally rousing, occasionally emotional, sports movie. It's well acted, it's shot well, the special effects are terrific. So why don't I care about this based on a true story melodrama? It's odd, I can remember enjoying Gran Turismo while I watched it and now, as I sit to write about it, most of the movie has slipped away. I'm left with this sort of vague admiration for Gran Turismo but not much beyond that. I'm having to check and recheck notes that I made and go back to the film synopsis for help. Am I just getting old or did this movie just leave that little of an overall impression. 

Gran Turismo, according to my notes, stars Archie Medekwe as Gran Turismo videogame star player, Jann Mardenborough. Jann has long dreamed of becoming a race car driver but that particular track of profession, is not available to most people. Though the movie only glances in the direction of any kind of social conscience, it's clear that many drivers have had long time ties to family and corporate racing interests. Trying to independently become a race car driver, especially on the European circuit, is beyond merely a pipedream. 

The closest that Jann can come is spending most of his waking hours playing the game Gran Turismo, a real life hit videogame series. Created by Kazunori Yamauchi, Gran Turismo is a painstaking recreation of what it is like to race on European race tracks. Yamauchi dedicated years to capturing the cars, the tracks, pit crew experience, everything down to the minute pieces of the car, in order to create a racing simulator so lifelike, it feels like the real thing. I've never played Gran Turismo, I don't play many videogames, nothing against them, but I was really impressed by the glimpses of the game we get in this movie. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review: Elizabethtown (Original Review)

Elizabethtown (2005) 

Directed by Cameron Crowe 

Written by Cameron Crowe 

Starring Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, Judy Greer, Susan Sarandon, Paul Schneider

Release Date October 14th, 2005 

Published October 13th, 2005

For me, a new Cameron Crowe film is like the release of Lord Of The Rings. I will line up days in advance, I will play the soundtracks of his previous films at obscene volumes and I will pore over the texts of the script as if they held the answer to life itself. Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous, Say Anything and Singles are not just any other movies.  To me they are masterpieces.

So I have been anticipating the release of Elizabethtown ever since the final credits on Vanilla Sky rolled off the screen in 2001. To say I am a little disappointed in Elizabethtown is one of the hardest things I have ever written. By the standards of an average movie Elizabethtown is great. By the standards of Cameron Crowe, however, Elizabethtown is a step backwards.

Orlando Bloom plays Drew Baylor, who looks like a man on his way to his own execution. Drew is a shoe designer for a Nike-esque company in Oregon and his first creation, a shoe called 'Spasmodica', has just failed so spectacularly that the company stands to lose nearly a billion dollars on it's recall. As Drew's boss (Alec Baldwin in a minor cameo) explains, the shoe was so poorly received by the public that one industry observer was quoted as saying the shoe could cause millions of people to return to bare feet.

Fired from the only job he has ever known, Drew returns home with dark intentions. He plans to kill himself and begins fashioning a very unique suicide device involving a kitchen knife and some workout equipment.  It must be seen to be believed. Drew's attempt is foiled by his cell phone's unending musical ring which he cannot resist answering.

The call is from his younger sister Heather (Judy Greer).  Their father has died. On a trip back to his hometown, the tiny Kentucky hamlet Elizabethtown, Dad had a heart attack. At his mother Hollie's (Susan Surandon) request Drew must go to Elizabethtown and retrieve the body for cremation in Oregon and represent the family in whatever tribute the Elizabethtown Baylor's have planned. The two sides of the family have rarely had contact.

On his flight from Oregon to Kentucky Drew meets Claire, a chirpy stewardess who takes a special interest in making sure he knows where he is going. Claire is obviously attracted to Drew despite, or maybe because, of his morose attitude. She gives him directions to get to Elizabethtown and her phone number in case he gets lost and it seemingly could have ended right there.

When Drew finally arrives in Elizabethtown the culture shock and his newfound family are so overwhelming that he needs to talk to someone and Claire is his choice. The two talk an entire night and get together to watch the sun come up. They agree to be friends but it's clear both are fighting fate.  They are meant for each other.

That is the very bare bones of Cameron Crowe's Elizabethtown, yet another very personal and deeply felt story for Crowe but also one he can't quite get a handle on. There are three important plots in Elizabethtown. First is Drew's failure at work.  Second, the family drama including his father's death and meeting his extended family.  And third is his romance with Claire. To make this movie work Crowe needed to coalesce each of these three plots into one story. Unfortunately it just never happens.

I enjoyed both lead performances by Bloom and Dunst but the relationship is so far unrelated from the family drama and Drew's work drama that it feels almost like a separate movie. Dunst delivers a character that is very unique.  Some might say that she is more fantasy than anything, but I believed that this character would do the things she does. She is quirky and forgiving and troubled in her own ways.  It's a complex part that has great potential but there are scenes missing, important scenes and dialogue that might better have integrated her into the rest of the story.

Bloom's performance is complicated for different reasons. He was not the first  choice for the role.  Initially Ashton Kutcher was cast as Drew. Bloom was the better choice of the two but because Cameron Crowe's male protagonists are so well remembered Bloom is competing with the ghosts of the past and he pales in comparison to the likes of Tom Cruise, John Cusack, Campbell Scott and even young Patrick Fugit from Almost Famous.

Cameron Crowe does not do Bloom any favors in his scripting or direction. Much of Elizabethtown plays like Cameron Crowe's greatest hits. Dunst's character is a mixture of Renee Zellweger's needy but lovable single mom in Jerry Magure and Kate Hudson's ethereal groupie from Almost Famous. Drew's wacky extended family in Elizabethtown are older versions of the wacky neighbors from Singles or the inebriated party goers from Say Anything. And Drew himself carries the DNA of both Jerry Maguire and Lloyd Dobler.

Even the film score, once again lovingly crafted by Crowe's wife Nancy Wilson, feels as if it were lifted from Almost Famous. Check out the scene just after Susan Surandon's exceptional speech at the memorial. Drew and Claire meet in the hallway and the acoustic guitar score comes in just a little too loud. The scene is a poignant moment where Drew tries once again to explain that he and Claire cannot be together. The music in the scene is lovely but sounds almost identical to music used in a scene in Almost Famous where William tells Penny she has been sold out by the band and won't continue with the tour. This may be just the anal retentive Crowe fan in me coming out but it bothers me to hear Crowe simply repeat himself.

Thankfully, the same cannot be said of the film's pop soundtrack. Once again Cameron Crowe brings together an eclectic mix of classic hits and forgotten or overlooked favorites that compliment the story and occasionally comment on it. In the film's climactic scenes in which Drew drives his fathers ashes cross country back to his home in Oregon he is accompanied by an amazing soundtrack that Claire made for him as a sort of musical map of America. The reasoning is contrived but the emotion these scenes and songs evoke are real and very moving. No director mixes pop music, storytelling, and imagery as effectively as Cameron Crowe.

Cameron Crowe movies are known for romance, smart characters, and great music. Elizabethtown overflows with each of those elements but, unfortunately, Crowe cannot corral them all into one story. Each of the individual characters from Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst in the leads to Susan Surandon, Paul Schneider and Loudon Wainwright in supporting roles are all interesting characters but they are all parts of different movies. Bloom shares scenes with each of them and yet seemingly never at the same time.

The romance of Elizabethtown works in individual scenes such as Drew and Claire's all night phone session and the first night they make love and the aftermath the following morning. You definitely root for them to be together. But the movie is as much about this romance as it is about Drew's family, which is in a whole other film.

The family drama is a strong plot. Susan Surandon is exceptional in her one big scene at the memorial in which she does standup comedy, tap dances and reconnects with her extended family by opening up about how much she and they all loved her husband. Crowe does an excellent job of establishing the late Mitch Baylor as another member of the cast. Lovely sepia toned flashbacks of Drew with his father, perfectly aged photos and even the actor laying in the coffin with just the slightest hint of a smile that Drew dubs whimsical all serve to help the audience feel the loss.

The extended family and friends are an interesting collection. I really enjoyed Paul Schneider as Drew's cousin, a failed rock star with an out of control son and a difficult relationship with his father played by Loudon Wainwright. There was some lovingly detailed work in crafting Schneider and Wainwright's characters that are hinted at but the film does not have time to get too into that.

The film would work better if Claire had been as much a part of the family drama in Elizabethtown as she is the romance plot. Crowe never connects her to the family drama, which could have been done simply by making her a family friend from Elizabethtown and not some random stewardess. Put Claire in Elizabethtown, connect her to the family and maybe you can connect the two separate stories. Because she is outside of it the movie is disjointed and it never comes together.

For me, writing even a slightly negative review of a Cameron Crowe movie is torture, but it's undeniable. Aside from the awesome soundtrack, Elton John's "My Father's Gun" is my new favorite song by the way, Elizabethtown only works as a sketch of a good Cameron Crowe movie. A number of good scenes and good characters  great music but not a great movie. Fans of Cameron Crowe will find a lot of specific things to love in Elizabethtown: scenes, characters, music. I would recommend it for them with the warning that they may be disappointed by the film as a whole.

Movie Review Kingdom of Heaven

Kingdom of Heaven (2005) 

Directed by Ridley Scott

Written by William Monahan

Starring Orlando Bloom, Eva Green, Jeremy Irons, Edward Norton, David Thewlis, Liam Neeson

Release Date May 6th, 2005

Published May 5th, 2005 

When Ridley Scott announced he was taking on a crusades era epic, red flags went up all over the world. Given the current sensitivities in the middle east and the constantly inflamed situation on the border of Israel and Palestine specifically, a film about the crusades made by westerners seemed like a bad idea. That film, Kingdom Of Heaven, is now complete and it is indeed controversial, but not in the way we thought it would be. Instead of offending believers in Islam, the film goes out of its way to be fair to all sides which actually worked to offend many christians. You just can't win.

Orlando Bloom is the star of Kingdom Of Heaven as Balian, a blacksmith who we meet at the lowest point in his life. His son died shortly after birth, which led his wife to take her own life. His own priest is quick to remind him that because his wife committed suicide she will not go to heaven. It is at this lowest point that Balian's father Godfrey of Ibelin (Liam Neeson) returns with an offer of salvation, comes to the holy land, inherits his kingdom and helps King Baldwin maintain the tentative peace that has followed the third Crusade.

Balian is reluctant but eventually circumstances conspire to send Balian to the holy land. Along the way Balian's father is mortally wounded leaving Balian his title, Lord of Ibelin, and the charge to defend the people of the kingdom at all cost. Balian soon arrives in the holy land after surviving a nasty shipwreck, and is taken to meet King Baldwin (Edward Norton, hidden behind a metal mask) who immediately recognizes the good in Balian and entrusts him with defending the kingdom alongside his chief military officer Tiberius (Jeremy Irons).

The biggest threat to peace in the holy land is not the Muslim leader Saladin (Ghassan Massoud), who is portrayed as a reasonable and peaceful leader. The threat comes from inside King Baldwin's court, his sister Sybilla (Eva Green)'s huband Guy De Lusignan (Martin Csokas) commander of the Knights Templar, the Vatican's own order of Knights, intent on forcing all non-christians out of the holy city of Jerusalem. King Baldwin has managed a shaky peace but he is dying, the king has leprosy, when he is gone Sybilla will be queen and De Lusignan king.

This is the point in which the plot takes a disastrous turn. Balian is given an opportunity to kill Guy De Lusignan and marry Sybilla. The two have, by this time, fallen in love but Balian chooses not to and thus dooms the kingdom to a war with Saladin and his army of more than 200,000 soldiers. Though Balian, Tiberius and the soldiers in their charge refuse to fight, De Lusignan goes ahead with the attack and it is left to Balian to defend the innocent people left behind when the new king's army is destroyed.

One of my biggest pet peeves about movies is when the entire film rests on one obvious decision that if made correctly would negate the rest of the film. Balian's decision not to let Guy De Lusignan be hanged as a traitor, which he is, is the single dumbest decision he could possibly make. He knows that by deciding to spare him he is making him the new king and that thousands will die because of it. Balian's decision only offers the film the opportunity to continue, if he makes the right decision, the movie is over.

Is this linked to historical accuracy? No! In reality Balian never fell in love with or had an affair with Sybilla. The romance is a construct of director Ridley Scott and screenwriter William Monahan and they nearly try to pin the entire plot of the film onto one. The romance crumbles under the weight of the plot that hangs on it. Neither Orlando Bloom or Eva Green sparks in the subplot.

What is worse is that the romance is clearly a marketing decision and not a creative decision. The only reason Sybilla and Balian get together is because all ancient epic movie hero's have doomed romances. Brad Pitt's Achilles in Troy had Polydora, Russell Crowe's Maximus had Connie Nielsen's Lucilla and most recently Colin Ferrell's Alexander had Jared Leto's Hephaistion.

As for the action, I was one of the rare detractors of Ridley Scott's Oscar winning epic Gladiator, and the same problems that plagued that film plague Kingdom Of Heaven. CGI Hordes clashing on the battlefield gets real old real fast without a compelling story and dialogue as a backup. Gladiator, however, did have one thing going for it and that was the magnetism of star Russell Crowe, Kingdom Of Heaven is not as fortunate.

Surrounded by an extraordinary supporting cast, Orlando Bloom fades into the background never emerging as a believable action hero. When called upon to deliver a rousing speech near the end of the film, he sounds more like the petulant child he played in Troy than the inspiring hero that Russell Crowe brought to Gladiator. Bloom may have packed on 25 pounds of muscle for this role but nothing can make this guy look tough.

Liam Neeson in particular makes Bloom look bad. Neeson blows the kid off the screen with his stature, gravitas and poise. When Neeson leaves the movie you are sad to see him go. Jeremy Irons and the voice of Edward Norton are equally more compelling than Mr. Bloom. Finally putting his blustery scene chewing to rest, Irons delivers a weary but knowing performance and Mr. Norton though hidden behind a horrible metal mask cannot mask his natural actorly charisma.

With its plot construction problems and desperately inept lead, the least Ridley Scott could do is deliver on the controversy we were promised when the New York Times began floating the script around to religious experts and historians. Instead the film is even handed to a fault. There is the minor matter of the Vatican's own army portrayed as thuggish glory hounds fighting for riches instead of god, that is a little controversial but it's too weakly played to really resonate in the kind of controversy you remember and talk about after the movie.

No, in fact there is little to remember or discuss about Kingdom Of Heaven, another mundane exercise in Hollywood spending and marketing.

Movie Review Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End

Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End (2007) 

Directed by Gore Verbinski 

Written by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio 

Starring Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush, Naomie Harris, Chow Yun Fat, Bill Nighy

Release Date May 25th, 2007 

Published May 24th, 2007 

The first Pirates of the Caribbean looked at first blush like some Disney, corporate synergy deal. After all, we are talking about a real life theme park ride made into a movie. Thankfully, however, thanks to the brilliant, Oscar nominated performance of Johnny Depp and the lighthearted direction of Gore Verbinski, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl was a breath of fresh air in a sea of stale blockbusters.

The second Pirates movie, Dead Man's Chest, sadly suffered from sequelitis. Bloated to over 2 and a half hours, the film spun it\'s wheels far too often before its twist ending arrived to turn things around.

Now comes Pirates 3, At World's End which gives the series the kind of coda it deserves. Yes, it is nearly as bloated as the second film, but it is also has equal to, or even more thrills than the original and even more plot twists.

When last we saw Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) he was staring down the gullet of the Kraken, looking death in the eye and cackling like a mad man. Soon after his death his 'friends' Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), Will (Orlando Bloom) and the remaining crew of the Black Pearl realize they need Jack Sparrow back if they are going to fight the new alliance of Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) and the East India Trading Co. headed up by Lord Beckett.

With the aid of the sorceress Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), who raises Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) from the dead for extra help, they must sail to the world's end, to Davy Jones' locker to retrieve Jack. Once they have him they must convene the nine pirate lords and decide whether to run or to fight as one for the pirate way.

There are a dozen other minor subplots in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World\ 's End, not counting the number of twists and turns and shifting character allegiances that boggle the mind. If you have recently seen the second Pirates sequel, Dead Man\'s Chest, you might want to bring some cliff\'s notes on that film so you can follow some of the twists of At World\'s End.

On one hand, the script by Terry Rossio and  Ted Elliott, the writers of all three Pirates movies, has a great deal of depth and complexity. On the other hand the long bits of expository dialogue that attempt to explain the shifting sands of this plot can tend to bog down the movie, as they did to almost deathly effect in Dead Man's Chest.

Thankfully, Director Gore Verbinski rescues At World\'s End from ponderousness by delivering a quicker, funnier film with a strong visual sense and better, more spectacular special effects than anything in either of the first two films.

The centerpiece of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is a spectacular final battle scene set inside a swirling watery vortex. This scene features not merely a massive battle but also the tying of a few major plot strands, a couple of character twists and more than one major... well I\'ll leave you to see it for yourself. All spectacular stuff.

Even with the improved effects, more sure handed direction and all of those plot complications, Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow is once again the major draw of Pirates of the Caribbean. If you, like me, felt his Captain Jack was a little hemmed in by the plot in Dead Man's Chest, there is no such worry in At World's End. Captain Jack is now even crazier and more paranoid, even schizophrenic at times and it all works to grand comic effect.

Wait till you see Captain Jack's return to the screen in ATW. What a hoot. Trapped in purgatory aboard the Black Pearl in some desert oasis, Captain Jack goes all multiple personality and starts imagining hundreds of himself. Imagine a ship's crew worthy of Jack Sparrow's, full on Being John Malkovich, Charlie Kaufman style bizarre. Absolutely wonderful moment.

And I haven\'t even mentioned the crabs.

Not all is well in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I am sad to report, for you Chow Yun Fat fans, the great master of Asian rock'em sock'em cinema is underutilized in what really amounts to a cameo appearance, not what were promised from trailers and commercials which seemed to give him equal billing with the other supporting characters.

The only really great moments for Chow come in his introductory scene in a steam filled underground lair in Singapore. Facing off with Elizabeth and Captain Barbossa, with Will Turner trapped in a Han Solo moment, water tortured in a barrel, this is Pirates Return of the Jedi moment and Chow Yun Fat makes for an exceptional Jabba the Hut.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is a terrific coda for a series that began life as an ugly exercise in corporate synergy and morphed into a truly rollicking adventure series worthy of our exultation's, our huzzahs. Yo ho ho, indeed, this final Pirates film, until someone can convince Disney to spend the 200+ million necessary for another sequel, is a wonderful adventure, a high spirited comedy and most importantly, a grand stage for the great Johnny Depp.

As his Captain Jack slips into icon status, here\ 's hoping Mr. Depp is once again considered by the good people at Oscar. His At World\'s End performance is the most entertaining thing you\'ve seen on screen thus far in 2007 and likely will see all year.

Movie Review Prates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest

Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest (2006) 

Directed by Gore Verbinski 

Written by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio 

Starring Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Geoffrey Rush, Bill Nighy, Stellan Skarsgard

Release Date July 7th, 2006 

Published July 5th, 2006 

2003's Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl was a major surprise. Here is a film from the Disney formula factory, based on a theme park ride of all things, produced by mainstream dress meister Jerry Bruckheimer and directed by an unproven talent in Gore Verbinski. With all of these factors the film should have stuck to high heaven. Instead, Pirates of the Caribbean was a high spirited, high seas adventure that features arguably the best performance in the career of one of our greatest actors, Johnny Depp, and a pair of rising stars just ahead of the peak of their talents.

Naturally sequelization was a no-brainer, especially after the film began breaking the bank at the box office. Students of the Hollywood game are well aware that surprise hits like Pirates are once in a lifetime events. So it comes as no surprise that the sequel, subtitled Dead Man's Chest, suffers a case of sequelitis. It's the disease that strikes most, if not all attempts to recapture one time magic; see The Matrix and its sequels as the prime example.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is nowhere near as dreadful as Matrix Revolutions, but it does fail to recapture the swaggering, daggering fun of the original film by being bloated, overwrought and incomplete.

When last we saw Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) he had escaped the gallows and was back as captain of his beloved Black Pearl. Aided by the lovely young couple Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), Jack escaped the villainous Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and was free to return to his scalawag ways and get on with the business of pirating.

Will and Elizabeth have since returned to port to be married. Unfortunately a new man in charge of the English port, Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander), has decided to arrest them for aiding Jack's escape. Beckett is willing to make a deal. If Will can convince Jack to give up his precious broken compass and bring it to Beckett then Will, Elizabeth and Jack himself will have their freedom.

The compass is not actually broken. Rather it is not in the hands of its rightful owner and thus will not point in the direction of its intended destination. The compass points the way to a buried treasure that is not merely gold or precious metal. It points the way to a chest containing the still beating heart of Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) an accursed pirate who sails the seas as an undead sea creature for eternity. Whomever possesses his heart controls Jones and his undead crew.

Jack will not be easily convinced to give up the compass. You see, Jack owes a debt to Davy Jones. It was Jones who gave Jack the Black Pearl some 13 years earlier in exchange for Jack's soul. With Jones now ready to collect the debt, with the help of a monstrous sea creature called 'the kraken', Jack needs to find the heart of Davy Jones to save his own life.

That is plenty of plot and yet barely enough to fill the movie's overlong two hour forty minute runtime. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest suffers from the Hollywood 'bigger is better' syndrome. The idea that because something is bigger or longer that it is somehow better is something Hollywood has practiced but never proven. Dead Man's Chest is further proof of the exact opposite.

Stuffed to the gills with filler scenes of Will's search for Jack, Jack's dalliance with native islanders and a subplot for Jonathon Pryce as Elizabeth's father are all examples of places where director Gore Verbinski might have tightened up the film's narrative.

About the native scenes, not nearly as offensive as those in King Kong, I would hate to lose the rolling cage scene featuring Will and the crew of the Black Pearl inside a giant globe made of human bones being chased downhill by angry natives. The scene is well shot, exciting and quite funny but also quite superfluous to the plot. The scene exists simply to exist. Losing the native portion of the film would cut more than a half hour out of the film's bloated 2 hour 40 minute length and narrow the plot in a more concise manner. Of course, length is not the film's only problem.

Director Gore Verbinski managed a miracle in the first Pirates film corralling a career defining performance from Johnny Depp into what is essentially a factory picture made from a very typical Disney/Bruckheimer formula. For the sequel, unfortunately, Johnny Depp seems to be doing an impression of himself as Jack Sparrow. His heart simply isn't in it this time. Depp does manage more than a few classic moments, especially in his last scene, an instant classic of grand guignol, but for the most part he is going through the motions of recapturing what we remember of Jack Sparrow. There is simply nothing new or energetic about the performance.

Orlando Bloom at least looks more the part of an action hero than he did the first time. Bloom is maturing into a fine actor whose fine features are no longer overshadowing his talent. As written however, his Will Turner does not have a great arc. His part is not nearly as juicy as Jack Sparrow which tends to leave him looking bland but worse yet writers Terry Rossio and Ted Elliott now have him fighting for the love of Elizabeth with Jack Sparrow which only further serves to expose the characters blandness.

As many issues as I have with the film as a whole, I did not truly dislike Dead Man's Chest. The film has some grand adventure wrapped up in its overlong runtime. Watch for the three way sword fight inside a giant wheel, an extended bit of action that actually has something to do with the plot. Especially good in Dead Man's Chest are the special effects that transform the brilliant Bill Nighy into the sea creature Davy Jones.

Essentially a man with a giant squid on his head, Davy Jones is a remarkable feat of CGI creature creation. Nighy's entire face, including the very expressive eyes, is the creation of CGI. This is cutting edge stuff used to very gross but also grand effect. It is not only Nighy's Davy Jones but a whole crew of CGI sea creatures including a pirate with the head of a hammerhead shark and an unrecognizable Stellan Skarsgard as a pirate covered in barnacles and with a secret that becomes an important plot point for Dead Man's Chest and likely for the third installment of Pirates, subtitled At World's End, due in 2007.

Yes, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is the middle child of this major franchise and yes it does feel like it. Though plenty is resolved a lot of unanswered questions are necessarily left open for the next sequel. The unanswered questions aren't quite as annoying as those of the second Lord of The Rings or Matrix films but still irritating.

By the standards of a movie sequel based on a theme park ride, from the Disney/Bruckheimer film factory, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is a fun picture. By the standards of great movie making? The film suffers from Superman-itis on top of its sequelitis. Superman-itis is an affliction that affects films expected to be culture defining moments of pop history that turn out to be less memorable than the hype that surrounds them.

I am recommending Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest for the special effects and occasional flourish of it's grand action scenes but lower your expectations Pirates fans this is not the Curse of the Black Pearl just a pale photocopy.

Movie Review: Elizabethtown

Elizabethtown (2005) 

Directed by Cameron Crowe 

Written by Cameron Crowe 

Starring Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, Alec Baldwin, Susan Sarandon, Judy Greer

Release Date October 14th, 2005 

Published October 15th, 2006 

I have wrestled with loving Cameron Crowe's “Elizabethtown” ever since it's 2005 release. The film has been part of one of my most significant relationships, she loves the movie and was angry that I found fault with it. It was with her pushing that I have revisited “Elizabethtown” several times in the intervening years and come away with a number of different reactions.

There are so many wonderfully positive things about “Elizabethtown,” the most notable of which is the extraordinary soundtrack. Of course, Cameron Crowe is a master of movie music so this soundtrack can come as no surprise but the way he uses music in the film does surprise and delight. Listen for the delicate grooves not only of the score done by Crowe's now ex-wife Ann Wilson but also the callbacks to songs by Tom Petty and My Morning Jacket that filter in unexpectedly and underline important scenes.

Watch the unique way Crowe uses the unusual Elton John song My Father's Gun as a mournful reckoning for how Orlando Bloom's Drew Baylor feels as he takes up with the distant family that had loved his father but seemingly held his family at a distance. It's wonderful how the awkward lyrics about the civil war and family legacy coalesce with Drew's discomfort among his extended family.

The music is perfect from scene one with The Hollies Jesus Was a Crossmaker through the end with a brief reprise of Tom Petty's underappreciated It'll All Work Out. Listen to the way that Crowe uses Tom Petty throughout “Elizabethtown” and marvel at the subtlety of director and musician in perfect concert. It'll All Work Out is used just after Drew promises to kill himself and just as his savior/love interest Claire is introduced. The song is our reassuring underline to let us know that though Drew will struggle he will survive. It's much more subtle without my description.

I cannot get enough of Cameron Crowe's ear for music and eye for knowing where exactly to use it in his films. It's a remarkable and underrated talent. With that said, there are a number of issues that I have had with “Elizabethtown” from the first time I saw it, through my first disappointed review through repeated viewings and reevaluations of the film over five years.

The plot begins with Drew Baylor, a 20 something shoe designer for a Nike-esque shoe company in Oregon. Drew has just designed an innovative new work out shoe that has met with massive public disapproval. So bad was the shoe's reception among the public that Drew is being fired and the company is about to lose something close to a billion dollars.

The company's owner, Phil (Alec Baldwin) quotes one critic as saying that this shoe could send a generation back to bare feet. This section is filled with logical inconsistencies and minor quibbles that undercut Drew's dramatic journey. First up is the name of the shoe: Spasmotica. There simply is no company in the world that would release a shoe called Spasmotica and no consumer that would purchase it.

It's a quibble but there is simply no way a multibillion dollar company would not have tested the public reaction to the shoe before committing nearly a billion dollars in marketing and production to it. The title would not have survived the first testing phase nor likely would the design which is something akin to a Ray fish. We are told that Drew is a genius and an artist given free reign and it's simply not believable.

This is important because it leads to Drew's dramatic decision to take his own life which is the driving force for the rest of his sad journey. We must believe in Drew's desperation or he seems merely pathetic. Orlando Bloom does a fabulous job lifting the audience past logical inconsistencies enough that they don't sink the film but its close. If you don't like Bloom and aren't willing to believe his desperation and sadness you will be left out of “Elizabethtown.”

Then, as Drew is contemplating his rather fanciful suicide, he has rigged a carving knife up to an exercise machine that should be enough to stab him directly in the heart; he gets a call informing him that his father has died while visiting family in Elizabethtown. Drew has been drafted to fly to Elizabethtown to retrieve his father’s body and return it home. It’s on the flight that Drew meets Claire, a too helpful flight attendant, and “Elizabethtown” begins showing off its maddening and delightful taste in romance.

Onion A.V Club Head Writer Nathan Rabin coined the phrase Manic Pixie Dream Girl based on a viewing of Kirsten Dunst in “Elizabethtown.” The Manic Pixie Dream Girl is defined as 'that bubbly, shallow cinematic figure that exists in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.' It's a cynical and cutting description of “Elizabethtown's” Claire and one that I have been unable to escape since I read it.

The Manic Pixie Dream Girl has haunted my every viewing of “Elizabethtown” and it's a struggle to put aside Mr. Rabin's dismissive caricature and see Ms. Dunst's performance. Indeed, as written by the sensitive Mr. Crowe, Claire is as much a device as she is a character. So why does she ring so deeply in my soul?

I long for a Claire of my own to rescue me from despair and help me recognize what is good within me while offering judgment free love and fantasy sex following a perfect unintended seduction through mutual sadness and lonely longing. Claire is a little too perfect but is not perfect the fantasy of fantasists? What man did not at one time long for his very own Claire? 

There are problems with this fantasy however and they provide another of the shockingly lazy inconsistencies that plague “Elizabethtown.” In a scene early in Claire and Drew's relationship Claire describes the two of them as 'the substitute people.' They are stand ins in at the moment for the people they each really want. It's Claire's way of keeping distance from Drew, assuming that he is still hooked on his recent ex, Ellen (Jessica Biel). 

She's hedging her bets with him; inventing her own boyfriend as a way of letting Drew off the hook should he carry on with his pining for Ellen. It's a wonderful scene that shows Claire is not the fearless creature who flirted so openly with Drew on his flight to Kentucky and talked so openly with him in their wonderful all night phone call. It's very early in their relationship and Claire needs to be a little weary considering how fast things are moving between them. 

However, later in the film Claire throws the 'substitute people' comment back at Drew as if they were his words and not hers. The logical inconsistency undercuts the drama and impact of what is a very dynamic and dramatic scene. We are also supposed to believe in this scene that Drew, even after so clearly having fallen for Claire, still wants to kill himself. The scene calls for a withering comment from Claire that sets the stage for their reconciliation. Instead, the scene ends on a pair of confusing points.

Unlike any other Cameron Crowe film, “Elizabethtown” calls for desperate leaps in logic and suspensions of disbelief. So why do I still love it? “Elizabethtown” is a shaggy dog of a romance filled with whimsy and life and set to a phenomenal soundtrack. Despite its inconsistencies there are moments of such tenderness, romance and heart that I cannot help but love it.

Many critics have hammered “Elizabethtown” and many cite a scene where Susan Sarandon as Drew's mom performs a stand up comedy routine and a tap dance at her late husband's memorial as the films dramatic nadir. I completely disagree. Sarandon's unguarded emotion in this scene and Cameron Crowe's perfect imagery, shooting Sarandon from behind as she dances capturing her silhouette in a in a spotlight, is utterly gorgeous and the shots of Bloom and Judy Greer as his sister laughing and holding back tears evoke deep sympathy and smiles. 

This scene is wonderful for it's capricious spirit and the memorial scene as a whole is wildly capricious, ending as it does with Drew's cousin's band playing Free Bird as a giant paper Mache bird catches fire and sprinklers flood the hotel ballroom set. Sure, it's indulgent but it's also purely Cameron Crowe and as the “Elizabethtown” love theme score comes in underneath the chaos it's hard not to get caught up. 

That scene is followed up by a darkly comic burial scene that leads to “Elizabethtown's” final flight of odd fancy. Claire has requested that Drew take a road trip home as he takes his father's ashes back to Oregon. She has made him a map of famous tourist traps and places of musical legend and set the whole thing to 42 hours worth of classic songs. When she found the time to make this 'very unique map' is anyone's guess. 

Most odd is why? Why would Drew go to the hotel where Martin Luther King was killed? Why would Drew visit the Survivor Tree in Oklahoma City? What do these tragic places have to do with his journey? These scenes stretch credulity especially as we arrive at the half way point of Drew's journey where Claire is waiting for him. In a fit of ridiculous whimsy that relies on specious timing and luck, Claire sets up Drew to meet her at the Second Largest Farmer's Market in the World. Keep in mind, if Drew had deviated from her map in any way she would have been left there all day waiting. If one thing goes wrong with her goofy plan once he gets there, it involves an odd little scavenger hunt, they may never find each other. 

Crowe's indulgence in this ludicrous ending is overwhelming and yet I find myself excited as Drew searches for Claire's wacky red hat. I cannot help getting caught up because I do so love these characters. Orlando Bloom has never been this winning and Dunst is cuter than ever. I want these two characters together and that proves just how effective Elizabethtown is. Even with its massive flaws these characters and their romance are irresistible.

I love “Elizabethtown.” I still wrestle with its inconsistencies and failures of logic but the characters and soundtrack resonate deeply within to the point that I watch the film compulsively. I have seen the film almost 10 times in the five years since its release and I will watch it again. It’s partly because of my personal connection which remains as strong as ever, going on four years now, but also because Cameron Crowe has a remarkable way with soulful, human stories and tender romance.

Oh, and that ungodly brilliant soundtrack.

Movie Review Pirates of the Caribbean Curse of the Black Pearl

Pirates of the Caribbean The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) 

Directed by Gore Verbinski 

Written by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio

Starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Jonathan Pryce 

Release Date July 9th, 2003 

Published July 8th, 2003 

It's quite clear that Disney has run out of original movie ideas. Forget the sequels on their slate (The Santa Clause 3 et al). Forget the remakes of the rich Disney backlog (Freaky Friday). Disney is now down making movies of their theme park rides. Last year, they quietly dumped The Country Bears into theaters to critical and audience indifference. Later this year, it's Haunted Mansion with Eddie Murphy. Surely it can't be much longer before we see the Hall of Presidents and Epcot Center on the big screen, provided they can find a star to put on the poster.

That said, Disney has mined one of their theme park rides into a quite successful film. Pirates of The Caribbean may be a super lame theme park ride, but as a movie it's a rollicking adventure story made all the more interesting by awesome performances of two of the industry's best, Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush.

While the thrust of Pirates of The Caribbean is set in motion by the love story between blacksmith Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Governor's daughter Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightly), the story doesn't really kick off until the appearance of the rapscallion pirate Jack Sparrow (Depp). The former captain of the Black Pearl, Sparrow floats into this British Caribbean seaport on a sinking ship with hope that he can steal a ship to chase down the Pearl and its mutinous crew. Sparrow is unable to capture a ship on his own and is captured but not before he discovers Elizabeth in possession of a legendary piece of pirate booty.

Once Jack is aware of the gold medallion that Elizabeth has, somehow so is the crew of the Black Pearl who is led by Captain Barbossa (Rush). They steam to the British port to recapture the gold which legend says can lift the curse that afflicts the crew. After plundering the British, the crew takes Elizabeth and the gold and retreat to their hidden pirate island to lift the curse with the gold piece and Elizabeth’s blood.

While the British military plots its course of action to rescue the Governor's daughter, Will Turner hatches a plan of his own. Spring Jack Sparrow, steal a boat and save the woman he loves. With the help of Sparrow's daring swordplay and cunning piracy, they capture a military boat and set off to find a crew and capture the Black Pearl.

There are a number of twists and turns from there that I won't spoil, but you already know from commercials that the curse on the crew of the Black Pearl is that they are dead but cannot die. Nor can they feel anything, pleasure or pain, rendering them unable to enjoy their plunder unless they can lift the curse. The skeletal pirates, only seen while bathed in moonlight, are a spectacular special effect, well choreographed by Director Gore Verbinski. The effects are done with amazing precision and no doubt will be honored come awards season.

Of course, as impressive as the effects are, they are nothing compared to the performance of Johnny Depp, who is his own special effect. Topped with scraggly dreads, beads and an unruly goatee, Depp minces, preens, and manages to evoke rock star attitude in an 1800's pirate. That according to Depp was exactly what he was going for. In interviews, he claimed to have modeled some of Jack Sparrow on Keith Richards. Actually, it was Keith Richards and Depp's favorite childhood cartoon character Pepe LePue. Whatever the inspiration, the performance is truly inspired and even if the rest of the film had stunk I could recommend Pirates on the strength of Depp's performance alone.

Not to be outdone, Oscar winner Geoffrey Rush preens and hams it up as much as Depp, and to as much success. Being the bad guy, Rush is allowed to growl all his dialogue and chew every bit of scenery that isn't nailed down. Rush appears to relish the freedom of playing a Pirate Captain and his excitement is part of the fun of Pirates of the Caribbean The Curse of the Black Pearl. 

Knightley and Bloom are quite a bland pair in comparison, but how could they not be? Compared to Sparrow and Barbossa, the characters in La Cage aux Folles are bland. Bloom and Knightley are saddled with the film's two most conventional roles of hero and heroine, and though their love story is sweet, it doesn't carry much weight. It’s made even less weighty by a cop out ending that is a little too tidy for a pirate tale.

Director Gore Verbinski shows here, as he did in The Ring, that he hasa steady hand and a strong eye for strong compelling visuals. Verbinski and his team creates an entire pirate universe for the film to exist within, a lively, vibrant and yet lived in place right out of dream conception of where Pirates existed. Creating such a coherent story without having to reign in his over the top performers is another remarakable balancing act that demonstrates Verbinski's talent, he makes his performers comfortable and gets the most out his crew. The best directors can do that. 

Movie Review Lord of the Rings The Two Towers

Lord of the Rings The Two Towers 

Directed by Peter Jackson 

Written by Fran Walsh, Phillipa Boyens, Peter Jackson

Starring Elijah Wood, Orlando Bloom, Viggo Mortensen, Liv Tyler, Ian McKellan, Sean Bean, Cate Blanchett

Release Date December 18th, 2002 

Published December 17th, 2002 

With all the hype about the second film in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, is it possible for this film not to be a little disappointing? The first film, The Fellowship of the Ring, overcame the hype to be an impressive artistic achievement. However, the impressive debut only increases the pressure on the follow-up films. So the success of Fellowship raises the bar to nearly unreachable heights for The Two Towers. That this second film nearly meets the hype is an achievement in and of itself.

We rejoin the J.R.R. Tolkien tale (as adapted by Peter Jackson and writer Frances Walsh) to find our heroic Hobbits Frodo (Elijah Wood) and Sam (Sean Astin) lost in the hills on the way to Mordor. Hot on their huge Hobbit heels is Gollum, the former owner of the ring Frodo is charged with destroying in the fires of Mount Doom. As Frodo and Sam lay sleeping, Gollum attacks and is quickly subdued. 

Needing a guide to Mordor, the Hobbits draft Gollum and continue their quest. Meanwhile, the remaining members of the Fellowship, Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen), Legolas (Orlando Bloom) and Gimli (Jonathan Rhys Davies), are searching for their friends Merry and Pippin who have been kidnapped by the Uruk Hai. Under the control of the evil Lord Saruman, the Uruk Hai are pillaging the countryside of the Kingdom of Rohan.

Rohan's King Theoden has, unbeknownst to the members of his family, been corrupted by Saruman leaving no one to stop the Uruk Hai. An army led by Theoden's nephew finally does rise up and stop the Uruk Hai, slaughtering a lot of them and momentarily leaving the fate of Merry and Pippin up in the air.

As it turns out, Merry and Pippin are fine, having escaped into the forest and into the arms of a walking, talking tree named Treebeard, who leads them to an amazing discovery. As Aragorn and company continue their search, they discover what Merry and Pippin had just previously discovered, that Wizard Gandalf the Gray, who was thought to be dead, is alive and after defeating the Balrog, and is now Gandalf the White. This evidently means he is more powerful than before.

Using his new power, Gandalf is able to free king Theoden from the control of Saruman. Even after being freed from Saruman, Theoden is unwilling to go to war and instead flees his kingdom for the seeming safety of the cavern castle in Helms Deep. All of this is leading to the film's centerpiece, the grandiose Battle of Helm's Deep, where Saruman's massive ten-thousand-man army of Uruk Hai fights against the several hundred residents of Rohan who aren't women or children. The kingdom's army, having left earlier in the film, are being retrieved by Gandalf, but will not make it until well into the battle.

The battle of Helms Deep is indeed a spectacle, visually awesome and seamlessly integrated. Peter Jackson's special effects are an amazing achievement; he actually manages to make all of this look plausibly real. Of course, the film's greatest technical achievement is the character of Gollum. Inhabited in part by actor Andy Serkis (but mostly CGI), Gollum is a lively and imaginative creation. Gollum manages to make an impression without being overbearing or obnoxious like his CGI brother Jar Jar Binks. Gollum is a technical masterpiece, very likely to earn the special effects team an Oscar.

As visually exciting as The Two Towers is, it lacks in many ways. The middle of the film drags to the point of being dull and when the action slows down, the clunky dialogue and earnest close-ups slam the film to a halt. The character development is lost in the waves of action and effects scenes. We know who to cheer for and why but the audience's emotional investment in the characters is limited.

Wood continues to be an unappealing actor. His Frodo is all empty gaze and pained expression. Wood is an actor with talent but limited charisma and paired with the equally dull Sean Astin, the film's most important subplot is saved only by Gollum. Viggo Mortensen, on the other hand, is very charismatic and commanding, and Ian McKellan's Gandalf, in limited screen time, delivers the most memorable moments of the film.

The action and effects of The Two Towers are overwhelming, rolling over the audience in waves. Unfortunately when the action slows down, the film drags and the lack of character development becomes more obvious.

Movie Review: Troy

Troy (2004) 

Directed by Wolfgang Peterson

Written by David Benioff

Starring Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Diane Kruger, Brian Cox, Sean Bean, Peter O'Toole

Release Date May 14th, 2004

Published May 13th, 2004 

In this day and age, when you say Homer everyone thinks Simpson. It wasn't always that way. Years ago, colleges turned out erudite intellectuals who quoted the great poet Homer from "The Iliad" or "The Odyssey.” Maybe those people still exist but today more people can quote Homer Simpson than Homer the poet and the new Wolfgang Peterson epic Troy is not likely to change that. This bombastic, outsized blockbuster has the appeal of Brad Pitt and the scope of an age old epic but it lacks the soul of the poet who's work it attempts to revive.

Brad Pitt stars as Achilles, the greatest warrior in history. Though Achilles claims to have no allegiances, he fights for the money of King Agamemnon (Brian Cox). With Achilles’ sword, Agamemnon has conquered several kingdoms and his reach dominates the Greek kingdoms surrounding the Aegean Sea. Save for that of King Priam of Sparta (Peter O'Toole).

It seems that Sparta is unattainable even for someone as powerful as Agamemnon. Even the great king's brother Menelaus (Brendon Gleeson) has acceded that Sparta can't be taken, even going so far as to broker peace with King Priam's sons Hector (Eric Bana) and Paris (Orlando Bloom). The peace accord however is short lived when Paris takes a liking to Menelaus' wife Helen (Diane Kruger) and spirits her away to Sparta.

This development finally gives Agamemnon all the reason he needed to sack the last kingdom that stands in the way of his dominance. However, to take Sparta, a grand feat given Sparta's legendary impregnable walls, Agamemnon must once again call on Achilles to lead his armies. Achilles does not want to fight for Agamemnon no matter what the offer but does finally agree after a visit from his good friend Odysseus (Sean Bean) who promises something more valuable than riches, eternal glory.

That is the setup for massive CGI battles and a great deal of melodramatic speechifying. In all of the film’s nearly three-hour length there are pieces of three different full length movies edited together into Troy and only one of them would be any good. That is the story of Achilles who in the person of Brad Pitt is a charismatic and dangerous presence. Pitt's Achilles is powerful but conflicted and that makes him inherently dramatic. A film about Achilles would be terrific.

The story of Helen and Paris also has the potential as a stand-alone story. The story has love, passion and a great deal of drama. Cut up as it is here to make room for two other parallel stories, it loses impact. Helen is the reason that Sparta is about to be overrun in the greatest war of all time, therefore her importance to Paris needs more time to develop. Why would Paris risk his family and in fact an entire kingdom for her? We never really know. As it is in Troy, the love story comes off as the selfish petulance of a childish boy and his desperate crush.

The final story is the most poorly developed and that is the story of Eric Bana's Hector. It's not the fault of Bana who is a strong presence, nearly the equal of Pitt. Nearly. Hector's story is far more dramatic than what we see here. His conflicts with his father King Priam are given short shrift and Hector's only character traits are heroism. Hector is hardly ever conflicted, he has no great story arc. He begins as a hero and continues through the film as a hero beyond reproach.

In adapting Homer's epic poem, screenwriter David Benioff had to make a number of dramatic sacrifices including some I already mentioned and one that may be the most troublesome sacrifice of the film. In The Iliad, the Gods of Mount Olympus gave the conflict it's context, they provided motivation beyond the grandiose, nation chest-bumping that Agamemnon uses as motivation here. The meddling God's protected Achilles and gave his dramatic ending a bigger payoff.

There are two reasons for the excising of the God's from Troy. First, there just wasn't enough time to fit them in. The film is just too long to add any more characters, especially characters as outsized as the Gods. Secondly, and don't underestimate this one because this may be the real reason, the bad memories of Sir Laurence Olivier's screen chewing menace in Clash Of The Titans. Love or hate Clash, there is no denying the cheeseball nature of all of the scenes involving the Gods.

Director Wolfgang Peterson is a technician as a director. As his budgets have grown his love of technological filmmaking has overcome his sense of story and character. I say that as a criticism but I must also state that as a technician he is a terrific director. Technology however is not what is most appealing about a film. As George Lucas has shown, you can have all of the technology in the world and still not make a movie that engages. Dazzle the eye all day but if you can't reach the heart or mind, you have no movie. Brad Pitt engages both with his tremendous performance but little else in Troy rises to his level.