Movie Review Megan is Missing

Megan is Missing (2011) 

Directed by Michael Goi 

Written by Michael Goi 

Starring Amber Perkins, Rachel Quinn, Dean Waite 

Release Date May 3rd, 2011 

Published January 23rd, 2023 

In 2020 the execrable horror movie, Megan is Missing became a viral sensation when people on Tik Tok began uploading reactions to the movie. The fame didn't last and the movie dropped back into a very deserved obscurity. So why am I talking about it now? It's one of the movies about missing people that we decided to revisit on the Everyone's a Critic Movie Review Podcast dedicated to movies about Missing people. The movie Missing is, obviously, the inspiration for this. I decided to add Megan is Missing to the show because I was already revolted by its virality in 2020, even without having watched it for myself. 

That's not fair of me though, right? I should see a film if I am going to claim to be revolted by it. So, now I can officially call Megan is Missing revolting. Written and directed by a criminal named Michael Goi, Megan is Missing is a poorly made found footage movie that has all the quality of a Tommy Wiseau directed snuff film. Part Eli Roth at his most woman-hating and part marketing pitch gone horribly wrong, Megan is Missing is an ugly, misogynistic, and deeply gross movie that reflects poorly on everyone involved in its creation. 

Megan is Missing stars Amber Perkins as unpopular High School girl, Amy Herman. Amy's life would be non-stop torment at school if she weren't friends with the most popular girl in school, Megan (Rachel Quinn). The two girls have been friends most of their lives despite their very different paths through life. Amy is portrayed as a goody two shoes that everyone hates for not drinking, smoking and sexing at all times like the rest of them. Megan, on the other hand, seems to find all the time in the world for bad decisions. 

Apparently, whenever Megan isn't with Amy, she's having sex, drinking and using drugs. Oh, and the two girls are supposedly 14 years old. So that's a fun detail. The plot kicks in, after an interminable amount of time spent watching adults try and figure out how the kids of the early 2000s talk, and failing, when Megan meets a man named Josh through an online chat. Josh claims to be kid from another nearby High School and that his webcam doesn't work, hence why Megan can't see him. The two begin a flirtation that ends when he invites Megan to meet him behind a local diner. She's never seen again. 

Heartbroken by the disappearance of her closest, only, friend, Amy begins talking to Josh in an attempt to find Megan. At first, he's trying to flirt with her before he becomes confrontational and then threatening. She cuts off contact but, while she's out recording her personal video diary, we see someone, we assume 'Josh,' stalking her. Then, Amy is taken and the final act of Megan is Missing is us watching a canonically 14 year old girl be tortured, sexually assaulted and murdered by suffocation after being buried alive. SPOILER ALERT. 

Megan is Missing doesn't have any discretion about its storytelling so it doesn't deserve my discretion in my plot description. Why did anyone think this was ever okay to put on film? Of course, sexual assault, rape, it's brutally violent and it can happen to anyone. We all know that, we don't need a horror movie to show us that even a seemingly average 14 year old girl can be the victim of a sex crime. Making a movie of this sex crime is just exploitation, nothing more. 

Megan is Missing is not a cautionary tale, it's a product intended to be sold. It's a product that includes the worst crimes imaginable as a marketing hook. Director, and I use that term loosely, he's not talented enough to be a real 'director, but it's what we have to work with her, Michael is a creepy pervert who hides behind the idea that he's done a service to society by showing us how young girls can be targeted online by strangers, assaulted and murdered. As if that's something that is unknown. 

Michael Goi acts if he's doing us a favor with Megan is Missing. The reality is, he's just some pervert whose put his particularly disturbing imagination on the big screen. Michael Goi isn't a director, he's a guy who shouldn't be allowed within 100 yards of a school. The sexual assault and murder of 14 year old girls is not the subject for your sick fantasies and financial gain Michael. Michael Goi and whatever studio backed this god-awful movie should be ashamed of themselves. 

The moment of Megan is Missing that went viral was a moment in the movie referred to as Photo #1. It's a photo of the kidnapped Megan in her underwear, her hands and head suspended in a board. On her head is a device that holds her eyes and mouth open. It's a shocking visual, there's no doubt about that, but why was it created? What does this add to your movie? If it's just for shock value then you have proved my point about how truly ugly and disturbed this movie is. 

Megan is Missing is the only feature film that Michael Goi has directed in his career and there is a good reason for that, it's terrible. It's not just morally indefensible as an exploitation of teen girls, it's just simply not well crafted. The acting is stilted and false, not merely for coming from amateur, non-actors but for coming from a director who doesn't appear to know how to properly direct actors. Much of the dialogue appears improvised, poorly, and shots appear composed haphazardly to evoke other, similar, found footage movies. 

The lasting memory of Megan is Missing is knowing that people dedicated time and effort to letting Michael Goi explore his ugly fetishes disguised as a feature film. That Goi has been a successful television director for many years might appear to defy my notion of him as a filmmaker but, realistically, television is a far more controlled environment than low budget filmmaking. Layers of people have to approve of something before it appears on a television project. Goi had only a handful of people to answer to on Megan is Missing and you can see the result. There's a reason he's no longer a feature filmmaker, Megan is Missing is a thesis statement on why he needs the oversight of a heavy handed television production. 

Movie Review Mission Impossible Rogue Nation and Ghost Protocol

Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol (2011) 

Directed by Brad Bird

Written by Josh Applebaum, Andre Nemec

Starring Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, Paula Patton 

Release Date December 16th, 2011 

Mission Impossible Rogue Nation (2015) 

Directed by Christopher McQuarrie

Written by Christopher McQuarrie

Starring Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, Rebecca Ferguson

Release Date July 31st, 2015 

Published July 25th, 2018 

Mission Impossible 3 made an indelible mark in my mind as the most entertaining and accomplished take on the entire Mission Impossible franchise. After seeing both Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and Mission Impossible Rogue Nation, I can now say with certainty that the series peaked with number 3. J.J Abrams' kinetic direction was artful and exciting with an eye toward drama, action and suspense all in the same package.

That’s not to say that Ghost Protocol and Rogue Nation are bad, they just lack the same clarity, focus and skill of MI3. Neither directors, Brad Bird or Christopher McQuarrie, appear capable of imposing their vision on the franchise, or at least, they didn’t impose it as well as Abrams did as each seems far more at the mercy of stunt coordinators and the daredevil antics of star Tom Cruise than Abrams was.

Ghost Protocol picks up the action of the MI story some five years after the action of MI3. Ethan Hunt is behind bars in a foreign country, accused of having murdered 6 Serbian nationals. We will eventually be told that his wife, Jules (Michelle Monaghan), a prominent part of the action in MI3, was killed, but death in a spy movie doesn’t always mean death. The big bad this time out is a man code named Cobalt (Michael Nykvist), an arms dealer with the aim of ending the world with a nuclear missile.

It will be up to Agent Hunt and his new IMF team, including Field Agent Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) and Jane Carter (Paula Patton). Carter is still reeling from the murder of her partner, Agent Hanaway (Josh Holloway, Lost) who was murdered by a killer for hire employed by Cobalt. They are joined by Analyst William Brandt (Jeremy Renner) who gets added to the team after his boss, the Secretary of the IMF (Tom Wilkinson) is murdered and the team is disavowed.

Brad Bird is a competent and highly capable director who keeps the pace up and the action well managed. Unfortunately, the film is little more than set-pieces strung together by a thin plot and a less than compelling villain. Ghost Protocol is remembered for the controversial CGI destruction of the Kremlin and a death-defying sequence in which Cruise appears to scale the outside of the world’s tallest building, Dubai’s Burj Khalifa.

Both sequences are solid and well captured with the Burj Khalifa climb coming the closest to evoking the best of the franchise. That said, they appeared to have the stunts before they had a script and wound up tailoring the story to the stunts. This was seemingly confirmed when writer Christopher McQuarrie was brought on half way into production for an uncredited rewrite of the script by Andre Nemec and Josh Applebaum.

Does this make Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol bad? No, it means that it comes up short of the legacy crafted by Mission Impossible 3. That film had big stunts and a big story to tell along with it. Ghost Protocol has ambition stunts but lacks the story to lift it to what I had hoped the series would be after MI3. Still, the movie is good enough, entertaining enough, and has just enough appeal that I don’t dislike it, but I don’t love it either.

Mission Impossible Rogue Nation, at the very least, improved upon Ghost Protocol. Here, Ethan Hunt opens the movie by being captured by the big bad, this time played by Sean Harris. Harris’ Solomon Lane has been eluding Ethan for two years since Ethan began to track him down. Lane has remained 2 steps ahead of Ethan while creating a series of tragedies intended to have a drastic effect on world markets.

Ethan is in so much hot water that the CIA, seen here in the form of a blustering Alec Baldwin, believes he is responsible for the terrorist acts caused by Lane’s outfit called, The Syndicate. In attempting to stop The Syndicate, Ethan recruits Benji to join him on the run from the CIA and they are joined by a British double agent named Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson) who has infiltrated The Syndicate and is the key to getting to Lane.

Director Christopher McQuarrie both wrote and directed Mission Impossible Rogue Nation and that fact does lend some clarity to the storytelling. The conspiracy in play is a wild one and rather clever and well executed. The film is still defined by one big stunt, in which Cruise legendarily clung to the side of a plane as it was taking off, but the stunt doesn’t completely overshadow the movie as the Burj Khalifa sequence in Ghost Protocol certainly did.

McQuarrie marries the slick, shallow thrills of MI2 with a little of the grit of the original with the craftsmanship of MI3 and creates easily the second best of the then 5 film franchise. I especially enjoyed the use of Rebecca Ferguson whose lithe physicality matches that of co-star Tom Cruise. The way she floats about fluidly in major fight scenes is really cool and in keeping with the action style of most of the Mission movies. She’s a really solid addition.

Sadly, the villain of Rogue Nation is once again the weakest part of the film. Who’s Sean Harris? He’s not a bad actor but I have no reference point for who he is as an actor. He’s not remotely on the star level of the rest of the cast, even Ferguson who makes her debut in this film. Harris’s lack of a profile makes him forgettable and when compared to the best villain in the franchise, Phillip Seymour Hoffman’s exceptional, Owen Davian, he comes up well short.

The character of Solomon Lane is not all that compelling. His aims are clear but the character is a shell and a full-fledged villain should be. He has no life, no personality, he’s not tough and while he’s portrayed as super-smart, our first time seeing him, he immediately chooses not to kill Ethan Hunt even though he easily could. The sequence makes the character look silly, especially when the script gives him zero reason to keep alive the one man he’s aware could stop his agenda.

The lack of care in the details of the script of Rogue One is part of what keeps the film far from greatness. It’s still solid and has terrific stunt work and top-notch action scenes, but sadly I was hoping for more of a brain. Instead, we get yet another Tom Cruise running chase scene and another Tom Cruise motorcycle chase scene, obligatory action beats that likely existed before a script ever did.

McQuarrie is also the writer-director of Mission Impossible Fallout which hits theaters this weekend. I believe Fallout will be good but my expectations have dimmed for the franchise. I had hoped Ethan Hunt would usurp James Bond as the top movie spy of all time. Sadly, Bond’s legacy is kept safe by a star too eager for stunts and directors unable to make the stunts into a fully compelling story beyond the mere presentation of spectacle that just happens to be part of a story.

Movie Review: A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas

A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas (2011) 

Directed by Todd Strauss-Schulman

Written by Jay Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Starring John Cho, Kal Penn, Neil Patrick Harris, Paula Garces, Daneel Ackles

Release Date November 4th, 2011

Published November 3rd, 2011

"A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas" is gloriously offensive. There are scenes of such specifically offensive humor that I really don't feel comfortable describing what takes place in any kind of detail. With that offensiveness stipulated, let me state clearly that I loved this movie. I'm not sure I can recommend it, but I love. "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas" finds our friends Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn) having grown apart. Harold has chosen to become a grown up. He has a job on Wall Street, a house in the suburbs and he and his wife Maria (Paula Garces) are trying to have a baby.

Kumar on the other hand has stunted his maturity. Kumar is a degenerate pothead, who we see buying pot and smoking up with a mall Santa Claus in the opening scenes of the film. Kumar lost his job because he failed a drug test and lost his girlfriend (Daneel Ackles) because of his slothfulness. Our heroes are reunited when a package appears at Kumar's apartment addressed to Harold. Kumar delivers the package to Harold's house and from there the latest H & K adventure begins and proceeds in the most irreverent and stunningly offensive fashion.

Also returning for "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas" is the brilliant Neil Patrick Harris who finds new and wondrous ways to send up himself. Harris came out a few years ago and naturally Harris makes great sport of his homosexuality in "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas." Thomas Lennon gets in on the fun in A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas. Lennon, best known for "Reno 911," plays Harold's straight-laced suburban best friend Todd. Poor Todd and his baby daughter Ava get dragged into H & K's adventure and what happens to little Ava will have many parents in the audience either rolling with laughter or asking for their money back at the box office.

I can't stress this enough, if you are offended by drugs, sex, violence, racial humor and such, you don't want to attempt to watch "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas." This movie presses the most offensive hot buttons and does not let up for more than 90 minutes. A particularly offensive and completely hilarious scene involves paying homage to the holiday classic "A Christmas Story" in a way that you must see to believe. There is also a reference to "Annie Hall" involving the baby girl Ava that is startlingly funny.

"A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas" is up there with "Bridesmaids" as one of the funniest movies of 2011. I completely loved this movie and I cannot recommend it for any audience. The film is so outlandish and so very, very, very R-rated that only a select audience will be able to tolerate the well beyond risqué humor. How "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas" did not get saddled with an NC-17 rating is beyond me; the film definitely is offensive enough to deserve it. If you are not easily offended, you are going to love "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas."

Movie Review: 50/50

50/50 (2011) 

Directed by Jonathan Levine 

Written by Will Reiser 

Starring Joseph Gordon Levitt, Seth Rogen, Anjelica Huston, Bryce Dallas Howard, Anna Kendrick

Release Date September 30th, 2011 

Published September 30th, 2011

Cancer is a topic of grave seriousness. To even attempt to place the word cancer near the word comedy could be seen as folly. Yet, we have 50/50 a very funny comedy about a young man who faces death from cancer. The tightrope that 50/50 walks in creating its comedy, a broad swath of Knocked Up style irreverence, Seth Rogan is a co-star in 50/50, and the kind of gallows humor that permeates many war movies.

If you were a casino game, you'd have the best odds

Adam (Joseph Gordon Levitt) is 27 years old, he has a pretty artist girlfriend named Rachael (Bryce Dallas Howard), a great job working at NPR in Seattle, and he has this pain in his back that just won't go away.

That pain turns out to be a malignant tumor attaching to his spine. Adam has cancer and faces the 50/50 odds of survival with a serious course of chemotherapy. First however, he has to survive telling his family and friends.

Rachael seems to take the news as well as could be expected. The relationship is relatively young for such a heavy burden to be placed on it but she takes it on, first buying him a dog and then being there when Adam tells his mother (Angelica Huston).

I'm moving in!

Adam next tells his best friend Kyle (Seth Rogan). Kyle's emotional reaction is indicative of most reactions to Adam's news. Kyle doesn't process the info well and Adam ends up having to console him.

The same can be said of Kyle's mother who is already caring for Adam's Alzheimer's afflicted father (Serge Houde). Mom wants to move into Kyle's house to care for him but Adam tells her that Rachael is taking care of him.

We know, and he will soon know, that this will not be the case. Rachael isn't a very good person but in fairness, who could be prepared for such a shocking turn of events. The fact that the relationship was sputtering before the cancer diagnosis should also be noted.

Humor from the gallows

Though Kyle proves to be a stalwart friend he to struggles with how to help Adam. Being a typically Rogen character, one lacking in maturity or a filter for his thoughts, Kyle's notions of helping amount to helping get Adam laid and getting high with him.

The only people who react appropriately to Adam's diagnosis and offer honest comfort are two men Adam meets in chemotherapy. Played by Phillip Baker Hall and Matt Frewer, their journeys could likely make wonderful movies of their own.

Somewhere in the middle of the appropriate and the misguided is Adam's therapist, Katherine, played by the terrific Anna Kendrick. We get right away that these two have chemistry beyond the patient-therapist relationship; Levitt and Kendrick however, surprise us by underplaying the attraction to great effect.

A very funny movie about a guy who has cancer

Trying to recommend 50/50 is more challenging that it should be. 50/50 is very funny and humane and is populated by terrific performances, especially from Levitt and Rogan. It's just difficult to get past the idea of a 'Cancer Comedy.'

If you can get past preconceived notions about cancer and comedy being mutually exclusive and give yourself over to this being Adam's specific experience of cancer you will be rewarded with a great movie going experience.

Movie Review: Contagion

Contagion (2011) 

Directed by Steven Soderberg

Written by Steven Soderbergh

Starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Matt Damon, Jude Law, Laurence Fishburne, Marion Cotillard

Release Date September 3rd, 2011

Published September 3rd, 2011 

Director Steven Soderbergh has described "Contagion" as an Irwin Allen style disaster movie. For those not up on their B- movie history, producer-director Irwin Allen presided over some of the most celebrated disaster movies in history from "The Swarm," to "The Towering Inferno" to "The Poseidon Adventure."

Only horror movie mavens have produced as many dead bodies on the big screen. The Irwin Allen comparison is apt. Allen's formula, a major catastrophe populated with a galaxy of well known stars, is essentially what "Contagion" attempts to be. The only difference is that Soderbergh's level of skill prevents "Contagion" from drifting toward the kinds of caricature that Allen's characters often became.

"Contagion," at first, stars Gwyneth Paltrow as Beth, just another woman on a business trip in China. However, after a layover in Chicago, Beth has returned home to her husband, Mitch (Matt Damon,) and their son, and has fallen ill. It's mere days before Beth is dead. Meanwhile, a video has spread across the internet of a man falling ill on a bus in China.

That man was with Beth in China and now both are dead. Soon, a man in Chicago has fallen ill. A woman in Kiev who had brief hand to hand contact with Beth in Hong Kong has died and her family is infected. Back in Minneapolis, Beth's son has died and her husband is presumed ill while his daughter is returned from her mother's and isolated.

At the CDC Dr. Ellis Cheever (Laurence Fishburne) and his team begin retrieving data and attempting to piece together the spread of the virus. In Hong Kong WHO Dr. Leonora Orantes (Marion Cotillard) has a key piece of evidence from the security camera at the Hotel/Casino where Beth stayed. The video tracks the very start of the spread.

In Minneapolis Dr. Mears (Kate Winslet) attempts to organize the CDC response as the virus spreads like wildfire. Soon, however, because a hotel worker went to work while sick, Dr. Mears falls ill. Soderbergh's "Contagion" has no respect for Awards or star-power as the Oscar winners seem to be the first to fall.

There is a calm and precision to "Contagio"n that is both comforting and limiting. Soderbergh has taken pains not to allow the film to cause massive panic attacks ( though I would urge hypochondriacs not to see Contagion) yet in doing so he contains "Contagion" into a box that prevents it from being as affective as it could no doubt be.

I don't want "Contagion" to cause a panic ala Jaws depressing beach traffic in the summer of '77 however, it's fair to say that "Contagion" has the opportunity to be more fear inducing and thus a more viscerally satisfying than it is. As it is, "Contagio"n could almost be considered hopeful, in its way.

Many critics of "Contagion" have wondered about the character played by Jude Law. Law portrays a blogger who finds a chance to profit off of the spread of the virus by promoting a Government conspiracy and an herbal medicine that he claims is a cure. When there is a run on the herbal medicine, Law cashes in on the stock jump of the company that makes it.

The character however, is vague in purpose. At different moments he ranges from rambling street preacher to Alex Jones style maniac before eventually being taken seriously before yet another final and strangely vague twist. Jude Law's performance is not up for question, he's highly committed and engaging but the character never finds his footing.

"Contagion" is an artful pseudo-documentary in the hands of a master director. Steven Soderbergh's command of this story takes what could have been sensational and exciting--in a terrifying B-Movie way--and makes it thoughtful, cautionary and occasionally moving. It's nice to see a director who though he demonstrates the worst of humanity at times, allows the best of humanity to rise as well.

There is a surprising and unexpected hopefulness at the heart of "Contagion" that keeps it from tipping into something merely intended to terrify. The hope is needed at the end when the film flashes back to the start of its outbreak and reveals the modest and completely plausible series of events that began the outbreak. So simple and so horrifying.

Movie Review: Apollo 18

Apollo 18 (2011) 

Directed by Gonzalo Lopez Gallego 

Written by Brian Miller

Starring Warren Christie, Lloyd Owen, Ryan Robbins 

Release Date September 2nd, 2011

Published September 2nd, 2011 

Call it The Blair Witch Project on the moon; Apollo 18 takes the found footage horror sub-genre into outer space. The story of a lost NASA mission hidden from the public for nearly 30 years, Apollo 18 somehow manages to seem fresh and exciting even as it recycles the edgy tensions of the Blair Witch and Paranormal Activity.

By official account, the Apollo 18 mission never happened. However, footage has somehow popped up on a conspiracy obsessed website and it reveals footage shot by three astronauts of a mission to the moon gone horribly wrong. In the course of 85 minutes we will watch what begins as any other mission to the moon, as it becomes a slowly unfolding tragedy.

The mission goes off without a hitch, from launch to the landing of two astronauts on the lunar surface as a third circles the moon waiting to drive everyone back to earth. Once on the moon however, strange things begin to happen. First, communications breakdown between the moon lander and NASA.

Then, in a shocking and unexpected twist, the astronauts find that they are not alone on the moon; another country has recently been on the moon and they left behind terror in their wake. I won’t spoil the surprise as many other critics already have; I will only say that there is blood and plenty of it on the moon.

Apollo 18 was directed by the ingenious Spanish director Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego who makes clever use of ancient camera technology, the film is set in 1974, to limit what we can see and reinforce the film’s found footage premise. The cameras that the astronauts were instructed to plant on the moon give us static images that when lingered on require audience members to search the screen for clues in what becomes a tense search for signs of life.

Actors Warren Christie and Lloyd Owen are cleverly cast as the terrified and confused astronauts. Both actors are vaguely recognizable but are not so well known that they take you out of what is supposed to be an assemblage of found footage edited into ‘documentary’ form. Cast Matt Damon as one of the astronauts and the movie-ness would undermine the notion of found footage.

Apollo 18 doesn’t break any new ground but the film is well shot, the scares arrive in a strong rhythm keeping the audience in a state of perpetual tension and the finale leaves no questions about the astronauts’ fates. Most importantly, Apollo 18 has one moment, one big scare, that will elicit more than a few terrified shrieks.

And you know what? That’s really all you can ask of a movie that is essentially The Blair Witch Project on the moon.

Movie Review: Attack the Block

Attack the Block (2011) 

Directed by Joe Cornish

Written by Joe Coronish

Starring Jon Boyega, Jodie Whittaker, Alex Esmail, Nick Frost, Luke Treadaway

Release Date May 11th, 2011 

Published August 14th, 2011

"Attack the Block" director Joe Cornish recalls, in the making of documentary that accompanies the DVD release of "Attack the Block," one of the most talked about independent films of 2011, that he was watching the M. Night Shyamalan film "Signs" when the idea for "Attack the Block" came to him.

"Signs," for those that don't recall, was about an alien invasion and how a family living on a farm in Middle America dealt with this bizarre occurrence. Cornish imagined a slightly different scenario for aliens that landed on the block where he grew up, in a dodgy part of London.

The essential idea behind "Attack the Block" is simply what might happen if aliens attempted to invade a gang and drug infested block of a bad London neighborhood. The story unfolds with Moses (John Boyega) confronting and eventually killing the first alien invader.

Unfortunately, the first alien is merely the bait for an invasion of much larger and much more dangerous aliens that resemble a monkey crossed with a large dog. As more aliens arrive on the block, Moses and his crew including Pest (Alex Esmail), Jerome (Leeon Jones), Dennis (Franz Drameh) and Biggz (Simon Howard) end up in a fight for their lives.

Along for the ride is Sam (Jodie Whittaker) who goes from being mugged by the gang to joining them on the run from the alien beasts. Ron (Nick Frost) and Brewis (Luke Treadway) are drug dealers and customers who get dragged into things when the gang brings the first alien corpse to Ron's apartment for safe-keeping while Hi-Hatz (Jumayn Hunter) is a drug dealer who targets the gang for revenge.

Writer-director Joe Cornish takes his very simple premise and infuses it with the energy and creativity of a cast of first time actors; of the gang only John Boyega had any previous screen credit. The energy of "Attack the Block" as well as the authentic sounding slang, delivered through thick, almost indistinguishable accents, give "Attack the Block" a ballsy, nervy essence that is infectious.

"Attack the Block" is an exciting and energetic feature that clangs by at an incredible pace toward an unexpected and ingenious ending that evokes elements of "Independence Day" and "Die Hard" on a much smaller, no-budget scale.

"Attack the Block" emerged at the South by Southwest Festival in Austin, Texas back in March and looked as if it might become a major release phenomenon. Soon after that however, after critics raved about the film, talk turned to an American adaptation and the film lost momentum in a modest platform release.

Now, "Attack the Block" is on DVD and Blu-Ray. Don't wait for the American adaptation; see "Attack the Block" today, even if you do need the subtitles to understand it.

Movie Review: Bereavement

Bereavement (2011) 

Directed by Steven Mana

Written by Steven Mana

Starring Alexandra Daddario, Michael Biehn, John Savage, Spencer List

Release Date March 4th, 2011 

Published March 12th, 2011

Nature or nurture? Are killers born or bred? Writer-director Stevan Mana is clearly on the side of nurture as demonstrated by his return to the story of serial killer Martin Bristol, the character he began in the 2005 horror film "Malevolence." "Bereavement" is Martin Bristol’s origin story and accordingly it tells the story of a boy who is twisted into a killer by a madman.

Six year old Martin Bristol suffers from a rare but real disorder that causes him to not feel pain. When he is abducted by a madman named Graham Sutter, the crazed scion of a former slaughterhouse owner, the madman mistakes Martin’s disorder for some type of divine serenity.

Years pass and Martin is made to witness Graham Sutter’s madness. Martin seems at times resistant to the brutality but slowly his grip on right and wrong is slipping away. Meanwhile, another story is unfolding up the road; one of Martin’s neighbors, Jonathan Miller (Michael Biehn), is welcoming a permanent houseguest.

Jonathan’s niece Allison (Alexandra Daddario) is moving in following the death of her parents, Jonathan’s brother and sister in law. Moving from Chicago to rural Pennsylvania is as jarring and unpleasant as you expect. Allison’s finds brief comfort from her grief and boredom in running, she’s former track athlete, and a boy who lives down the road, William (Nolan Gerard Funk).

What we know and Allison doesn’t is that within a few days she will be taken to that rundown old slaughterhouse. Whether she survives her encounter with the delusional Graham Sutter and his frightened young apprentice I won’t say; Bereavement does have a modicum of suspense in the fate of the people targeted by the killer.

Director Stevan Mana is not without wit and style in "Bereavement." The wit comes in Mana’s definitive stance on Nature or Nurture. In both Graham Sutter and Martin Bristol we get definitive arguments on the notion of how killers are not born to be killers they are raised into killers.

The conversation sadly only scratches the surface as the movie has too many other interests such as repeated chase scenes and scenes of family turmoil needed to give Allison her motivation to be in places she shouldn’t. The style of "Bereavement" reveals just the kind of creepy you want in a horror film; the visuals relate directly to the mind of the killer and reveal him.

"Bereavement" isn’t a bad movie but a rather clumsy one. There are these minor flaws in the construction of the film that cannot be reconciled. First, a quibble, and maybe this one is more about my bizarre attention to useless detail but, if Allison is a track athlete then why doesn’t she have a sports bra? Every time she goes for a run in "Bereavement" her breasts are bouncing up and down in a fashion that cannot be comfortable.

Of the bigger and more relevant problems with "Bereavement" is the sloppy manner in which the killer inhabits his community. Graham Sutter is so completely creepy and menacing with his black and rust slaughterhouse truck that when what must be the fiftieth or so young woman goes missing its impossible to believe that he isn't suspect number one.

The abduction occurs in front of the open and brightly lit windows of a diner. Graham pulls his very, very recognizable vehicle into the parking lot and blocks the car of his victim in her parking space. When she gets out complaining he punches her in the face, gets out of the truck and pulls her inside. Keep in mind, her car is left running as he pulls away. Yet, no one apparently witnessed this and no one bothered to notice the girl’s car, still running, in the parking lot or thought it was the least bit suspicious.

"Bereavement" has a few other moments like that one that when taken together combine to trip up the tension that the film needs to really be effective. Like I said before, "Bereavement" isn’t so much a bad film as a clumsy film. Consider it a must see only for fans of the sequel "Malevolent."

Movie Review: Footloose

Footloose (2011) 

Directed by Craig Brewer

Written by Craig Brewer, Dean Pitchford

Starring Kenny Wormald, Julianne Hough, Miles Teller, Dennis Quaid

Release Date October 14th, 2011

Published October 14th, 2011

Critics can tend to overthink a movie. In the case of "Footloose," that is a deadly pursuit. "Footloose" does not invite inspection. This candy coated musical is all about putting on a show with pluck and good humor and not about the mechanics of great filmmaking. The only intention behind Footloose is to make a quick buck off of nostalgia and if it happens to not completely stink out loud, that's an unintended bit of good luck. 

Ren McCormick (Kenny Wormald) has moved to Bomont, Tennessee from Boston following the death of his mother. Moving in with his Aunt Lulu (Kim Dickens) and Uncle Wes (Ray McKinnon), Ren finds himself not merely in a new home but seemingly a new planet. Bomont, Tennessee could not be any different from Boston. Foremost among the differences is a ban on public dancing put in place by a local crusading Preacher, Shaw Moore (Dennis Quaid).

The preacher's daughter, Ariel (Julianne Hough) immediately catches Ren's eye, setting up a pair of showdown's for Ren and the preacher as he intends to fight the dance ban and date Shaw Moore's daughter. Credit Dennis Quaid for bringing a seriousness and even gravity to "Footloose" that the movie needs in order to keep from tipping completely into parody. Quaid is so good opposite Hough and Wormald that he makes the novice actors better.

Of course, "Footloose" is not about acting or drama, it's about nostalgia, dancing and a good soundtrack. The soundtrack of "Footloose" is a rather bizarre stew of country, hip hop, and covers of tunes from the original movie. Blake Shelton's cover of Kenny Loggins legendary title track is as rousing and cheesy as the original while Deniece Williams' original "Let's Hear for the Boy" makes a welcome comic appearance in the same context it did in the original "Footloose," as Ren teaches his new pal Willard (Miles Teller) how to dance.

Other call backs to the original movie include a reprise of Quiet Riot's "Metal Health" and a cover of Ann Wilson and Mike Reno's cheeseball ballad "Almost Paradise." These nostalgic touches make clear that director Craig Brewer has as much respect for the original "Footloose" as long time fans do. Brewer even manages to keep Ren's angry dance solo dance in the empty factory. No Kenny Loggins in this version, a rather forgettable hip hop song is in its place, but the heavy cheese dramatics are still there in great, unintentional comic effect.

That's another interesting thing about "Footloose;" the film can be enjoyed on an earnest level or an ironic one. If you are inclined to pick away at the movie you can, and you can have fun doing it, the movie has a certain awareness of its place in the movie world but not so much that it ruins a proper ironic appreciation of it. Bottom line, "Footloose" is just plain fun; a terrifically cheesy pop culture dessert all sugar and calories and nothing remotely good for you. But it tastes so good.

Movie Review Happy Feet 2

Happy Feet 2 (2011) 

Directed by George Miller

Written by George Miller, Gary Eck

Starring Elijah Wood, Brittany Murphy, Pink, Hank Azaria, Brad Pitt, Common, Matt Damon, Sofia Vergara

Release Date November 18th, 2011

Published November 18th, 2011

Pop junk is a little harsh for a movie as harmless as "Happy Feet 2" but it is nevertheless a fitting pronunciation. "Happy Feet 2" is junky; filled to overflow with dull pop songs and boring perfunctory messages about finding your place, growing up, family and global warming.

The original "Happy Feet," also a fluffy piece of pop junk, followed Mumble (Elijah Wood) as he learned to dance with the aid of his pal Ramon (Robin Williams) and the love of a female penguin named Gloria (Brittany Murphy). Five years later, Mumble and Gloria, now voiced by pop star Pink, have a son (Ava Acres) named Erik who struggles to find his place in the world.

The plot kicks in when Uncle Ramon decides to return to his penguin flock on the other side of the mountain. Unknowingly, Ramon is trailed by Erik and his pals. They follow Ramon back to his old family where they make a fascinating discovery; a penguin who can fly.

While Mumble tracks down his son and also confronts The Mighty Sven (Hank Azaria) a massive glacier crashes into Mumble's home and traps his friends and family, including Gloria. With his home cut off from the ocean Mumble must find a way to get food to his friends and a way to get them out of the hole they're in.

In a minor and surprisingly entertaining subplot a pair of Krill named Will (Brad Pitt) and Bill (Matt Damon) leaves their swarm behind in search of adventure and an identity of their own. Will wants to become a predator and is determined to take a bite out of something; Will is along for the ride with his best friend.

This subplot is funny not because it's wildly inventive or well written but because Brad Pitt and Matt Damon throw dignity to the wind and give full throat to a pair of sweet, strange performances. How strange are they? Pitt and Damon each sing, quite badly but with complete abandon and joy.

Pitt and Damon are the standouts in an otherwise by the numbers effort that recycles cloying cuteness, boring, overplayed pop songs and good intentions. There's nothing wrong with the messages ``Happy Feet 2" intends to pass along. The problem is the method of delivering these messages has no freshness and thus lacks resonance.

Rather than waste the price of a movie ticket on "Happy Feet 2" I recommend you grab your DVD of the original off the shelf and toss that in the DVD player. All you're losing in the experience is the chance to pay big money at a movie theater for a movie you've basically seen already.

Movie Review The Family Tree

The Family Tree (2011) 

Directed by Vivi Friedman

Written by Mark Lisson 

Starring Dermot Mulroney, Hope Davis, Chi McBride, Max Thieriot, Selma Blair, Christina Hendricks

Release Date August 26th, 2011

Published August 25th, 2011 

The Family Tree, starring Dermot Mulroney and Hope Davis is nuts, in a really great way. This dysfunctional family comedy about a family going to pieces is populated by a wonderfully game all-star cast that sacrifices dignity at every turn to deliver more than a few ridiculously funny moments.

The story is thus, Dermot Mulroney stars as Jack Burnett, a below average suburban working stiff. Hope Davis is his bitchy wife Bunnie and Max Theriot and Britt Robertson are their screwed up kids Eric and Kelly. Eric is a Jesus freak with a love for guns while Kelly portrays herself as loose though she’s not really.

What happens to this family during The Family Tree includes infidelity, a very unique accidental death–an acquaintance, not a family member—drugs and some divine intervention. All of the action is captured by first time director Vivi Friedman in a madcap fashion that plays like American Beauty through the prism of the Coen Brothers.

The phenomenal supporting cast includes Chi McBride’s funniest and most unexpected performance in years as Burnett's neighbor. McBride is joined by a veritable Battle of the Network Stars size supporting cast that includes Burn Notice star Gabrielle Anwar, Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks, Jane Seymour, Selma Blair, Madeline Zima, Keith Carradine, Rachel Leigh Cook and Bow Wow, among others.

Corralling all of this talent into one wonderfully wild movie is first time director Vivi Friedman. Working from a script by a veteran TV writer, and I do mean veteran, the guy who wrote for Hart to Hart, Mark Lisson, Friedman takes her cast and just keeps whipping them into a weird comic frenzy right up to the odd, highly unlikely but still strangely satisfying ending.

Hollywood tried to turn Dermot Mulroney into a hunky leading man a few years ago but it never took. He’s better off without the romantic comedies; character roles like this one in The Family Tree may just be his niche. Mulroney finds a note of suburban white guy awkwardness in The Family Tree that never fails to find the most unexpected laughs.

Hope Davis is a terrific match for Mulroney as a Real Housewife of just outside Beverly Hills. I don’t want to spoil all the trouble that Davis’s Bunnie finds in The Family Tree, but I’ll just say that after her character comes out of a brief hospital stay she becomes endearing and adorable in strange and interesting ways.

I could go on for a while about the rest of the cast but as I said, I don’t want to spoil the movie. The Family Tree is not without its flaws, the guy in the tree… sorry, no spoilers. That aside, I laughed a lot and quite hard while watching this terrific little indie comedy that will without doubt sneak up and surprise you if you give it a chance.

Movie Review: Cedar Rapids

Cedar Rapids (2011) 

Directed by Miguel Arteta 

Written by Phil Johnson

Starring Ed Helms, John C. Reilly, Anne Heche, Isiah Whitlock, Sigourney Weaver

Release Date February 11th, 2011

Published February 11th, 2011

It's “The 40 Year Old Virgin” minus the Virgin part. That's a pretty solid description of “Cedar Rapids” which stars a former Daily Show correspondent turned star of The Office, Ed Helms, and tells the story of an innocent man-child slowly drawn toward debauchery by a coterie of bad influences who happen to make great friends.

Directed by Miguel Arteta (“Chuck & Buck,” “Youth in Revolt”), “Cedar Rapids” is the story of Tim Lippe (Ed Helms) a Wisconsin insurance salesman who gets the opportunity of a lifetime after the unfortunate passing of a co-worker (a delightfully awful cameo by Reno 911's Thomas Lennon as a top salesman who dies, off-screen, from auto-erotic asphyxiation.)

Tim is headed to Cedar Rapids for an annual conference of Insurance Company salespeople where the head of the industry, midwest division, Orrin Helgeson (Kurtwood Smith) will hand out the coveted Two Diamond Award, something Tim's late co-worker had walked away with each of the past two years.

While in Cedar Rapids Tim is instructed by his boss, go to character actor Stephen Root, to stay out of trouble as Orrin is a pious man and expects the same of all Two Diamond Award winners. Unfortunately for Tim staying out of trouble will be hard while rooming with his new best friend, the ingratiating Dean Ziegler (John C. Reilly) who has no designs on the Two Diamond Award, only on having a real good time.

Also caught up with Tim and Dean is convention regular Ronald Wilkes (Isiah Whitlock) and mom turned Cedar Rapids party girl Joan Ostrowski Fox (Anne Heche); each of whom will help Tim come out of his shell in ways the naive Wisconsinite could never have imagined.

Miguel Arteta has a particular talent for characters like Tim Lippe. The innocent cast into a fast paced new world has been an area of expertise for Arteta in movies like “Youth in Revolt,” where Michael Cera created a French alter-ego to deal with the quick witted girl of his dreams leading to drug trips and a crime spree as well as in “The Good Girl” where a teenage Jake Gyllenhaal experienced love for the first time with a sad housewife played by Jennifer Aniston.

Arteta brings an immigrants eye view to these characters. Born in Puerto Rico, Arteta came to the US is the 80's where he fostered his love of movies at Wesleyan University in Connecticut. Like Arteta at Wesleyan, his characters seem to be learning a whole new language and culture in their new environments and like Arteta they are quick on the uptake even as the experience is a mind-blowing change.

Ed Helms captures the eager to please Wisconsinite with just the right mix of man-child and upstanding citizenship. We meet Tim for the first time as he accepts a booty call from, of all people, his former grade school teacher played with voracious cougar-ness by Sigourney Weaver. Naturally, Tim thinks this relationship is going somewhere while we in the audience and the teacher quickly feel sorry for him.

Helms has the ability to earn sympathy and laughs in equal measure and it makes him an ideal innocent in the debauched, snowy airs of the big city, Cedar Rapids. John C. Reilly, Anne Heche and Isiah Whitlock make the perfect crew for Tim; Reilly the obnoxious, drunken ‘ladies man,’ Heche as the Cedar Rapids style 'femme fatale,' and Whitlock the stalwart good guy who we know has Tim's back with an assist from Omar from the HBO series 'The Wire.'

”Cedar Rapids” is a glorious satire of supposed big fish in small ponds everywhere. The overblown importance of the “Two Diamond Award,” Cedar Rapids as the Las Vegas of the Insurance sales game, and Tim's general awe at his surroundings set flame to the overstuffed egos of anyone who can't understand why the movie is so funny.

One of the major buys of the Sundance Film Festival, “Cedar Rapids” is poised to be one of the breakout comedies of 2011. Will Ed Helms become the next Steve Carell? Only the box office can decide that. For now bask in the glory of Tim Lippe and his wild weekend in “Cedar Rapids.”

Movie Review Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Pt 2

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 (2011) 

Directed by David Yates 

Written by Steve Kloves 

Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane, Warwick Davis 

Release Date July 15th, 2011 

Published July 14th, 2011 

Streaming at BravoTV.com 

An epic end to an epic franchise; "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2" brought to close one of the most remarkable film series ever crafted. Over seven films we have watched three young actors give glorious life to three extraordinary characters; characters who will go down in cinema history for their impact on the box office and our popular culture.

Where Were We?

When last we left Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe), in "Deathly Hallows Pt. 1," our heroic boy wizard had buried his late friend Dobby. Meanwhile, the evil Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) had discovered Dumbledore's crypt and taken possession of the deadly Elder Wand, one of the three Deathly Hallows.

The action of "Deathly Hallows Pt. 2" picks up with Harry confronting a goblin and coaxing him into leading him and Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione (Emma Watson) into Gringotts Bank. There, they hope to enter a vault belonging to the villainous Bellatrix LeStrange (Helena Bonham Carter) where one of Lord Voldemort's Horcruxes is being held.

What's a Horcrux Again?

A horcrux, for those unaware, is a piece of Voldemort's soul hidden in mundane form. Harry, Ron and Hermione have spent much of the past two films seeking several of these Horcrux and gone about destroying them. In the process they have weakened Voldemort but also made him angrier and ever more dangerous.

Our heroes believe that the final Horcrux resides at their old home, Hogwarts. This belief leads to a risky return to the school and a rendezvous with a few old friends who will play key roles in helping Harry in his final confrontation with He Who Shall Not Be Named. You really have to love the portentous language of the Potter Universe. In "Deathly Hallows Pt. 2" keep an ear open for the first time a character actually uses Voldemort's name, the reaction is priceless.

Movie vs. Book

I will go no further in talking about the plot as spoilers come far too easily. I will tell you that fans I watched the film with told me that book fans will be surprised and saddened by several of director David Yates's choices. Yates cut "Deathly Hallows Pt. 2" to the bone making it the shortest film of the series. In the process a few beloved scenes from the book have been excised and others have been shortened for time.

Fans I saw the film with were not angry about the changes from the book so don't expect to be too disappointed Potter-ites. Indeed, I don't believe anyone will walk away from "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2" disappointed. Director David Yates has done a masterful job of delivering adventure, excitement and pathos in heavy portions.

Powerful Emotional Punch

Thanks to the remarkable performances of Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint fans of the Harry Potter series will be left breathless one moment, elated the next and likely will have shed a few tears along the way. "Deathly Hallows Pt. 2" delivers more than a few really powerful emotional punches. I was particularly moved by one character's long time unrequited love.

For me, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2" is a perfect close to this epic series which thankfully has not overstayed its welcome. Yes, the series threatened to hang on too long but credit David Yates, screenwriter Steve Kloves, and this wonderful cast for helping to keep us patient and invested in this now decade long film series. Their remarkable hard work has made this final Potter adventure the best of the series.

Movie Review I Am Number 4

I Am Number 4 (2011) 

Directed by D.J Caruso

Written by Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, Marti Noxon 

Starring Alex Pettyfer, Timothy Olyphant, Teresa Palmer, Dianna Agron, Kevin Durand

Release Date February 18th, 2011

Published February 18th, 2011

If the half baked Twilight novels can ride teenage Vampires and Chastity to box office bonanza why can't a half baked story about teenage aliens and chastity do the same. That is the unspoken origin story of “I Am Number 4” a supremely lame attempt to clone the success of “Twilight” by trading angsty vamps for angsty aliens.

Number 4 (Alex Pettyfer), alternately referred to as Daniel or John looks like any other handsome teenager but that Number 4 designation kind of tips off the fact that there is more to him than meets the eye. Number 4 is an alien being from the planet Lorian. He is hiding on earth with his warrior bodyguard, Henri (Timothy Olyphant), while he waits for his powers, known to his people as Legacies, to be revealed.

Meanwhile, his numbered brethren are being hunted down by the evil Mogadorians who destroyed Lorien. The Mogadorians have killed 1,2,3 and are now on the trail of Number 4. After nearly revealing himself as an alien living in Florida, Number 4 and Henri move to Paradise, Ohio where Henri hopes to find a human with important information.

In Paradise Number 4 becomes John and begins attending High School because the plot needs him to. At school John meets and falls in love with Sarah Hart (Dianna Agron, Glee). He also by chance befriends Sam (Callan McAullife), the son of the man Henri came to Paradise to find. What luck that Sam has what Henri needs, a rock containing a link between the remaining numbered Lorians.

You don't have to be a psychic to know that I Am Number 4 is building toward a showdown between Number 4 and Mogadorians and that he will likely win this showdown as many sequels ride on his 

winning. Director D.J Caruso brings a modest amount of skill to keeping us distracted from the inevitability of this plot but the material is too weak to keep all the seams from showing.

”I Am Number 4” is a naked cash grab; a supremely lame attempt to lure in “Twilight” fans for a new, easily sequelized, franchise built on iconic genre creatures, aliens instead of Vampires, and great looking actors who do little else than look good. Not to demean young star Alex Pettyfer too much. Pettyfer is a really handsome kid hamstrung by a part that doesn't offer him any challenge.

Pettyfer along with Glee star Dianna Agron and Teresa Palmer, who plays yet another numbered Lorian, Number 6 for those who care, are all great looking and if that were all it took to make a movie work they would have a real hit on their hands. Those of us however, who go to movies for more than just the ogling of pretty people will find “I Am Number 4” lacking.

”I Am Number 4” was the brainchild of legendary liar and literary fraud James Frey who has found another money making scam, young adult fiction. Under the odd pseudonym 'Pittacus Lore' he and co-writer Jobie Hughes have demonstrated just how easy Twilight has made it for hacks to crack the book biz these days. 

Take a legendary genre character, in this case aliens, throw them in a high school setting. Give them bullies and bad guys; teen angst and a little chaste romance and cook for 30 minutes. Bang! You've got a young adult bestseller just aching for a Hollywood adaptation. 

The cynicism pours from every scripted word of “I Am Number 4” and while I don't blame the young actors involved, everyone else in this production should be (but are not) ashamed of this movie. It's our fault for giving them such an easy in, it was our culture that allowed “Twilight” to thrive. As long as we don't ask for more than just pretty, stupid movies then “I Am Number 4” is what Hollywood is going to give us.

Movie Review I Don't Know How She Does It

I Don't Know How She Does It (2011) 

Directed by Douglas McGrath

Written by Aline Brosh McKenna 

Starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Pierce Brosnan, Greg Kinnear, Christina Hendricks, Kelsey Grammer, Olivia Munn, Seth Meyers 

Release Date September 16th, 2011 

Published September 17th, 2011

I Don’t Know How She Does It begins with the oddity of characters speaking directly to the camera about the main character, Kate, played by Sarah Jessica Parker. It’s done in a documentary style but the thing is, there is no documentary aspect to the movie. Essentially, this is a hoary device that the movie can rely on without having to explain.

I Don’t Know How She Does It is marked by this kind of sloppiness. This very typical romantic comedy flubs details repeatedly in order to reach the moments that it wants to reach; never mind the fact that the audience is not reaching those moments with the movie, but in spite of it.

Sarah Jessica Parker is Kate Reddy; super-mom. Kate works a big job as an investment banker yet still finds time for bake sales and birthday parties. Even though her job requires her to travel a lot, Kate’s kids and her husband Richard never want for her time and attention.

That changed a few months late last year–apparently the story is told in flashback though again, the structure is so sloppy–when Kate took on the biggest project of her career. Kate has landed a major meeting with Jack (Pierce Brosnan) from the New York office. When she nails the meeting, Kate finds herself busier than ever.

Screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna has long been fascinated by the ways in which women balance career and private life. Her script for The Devil Wears Prada turns on the question of work ambition versus life away from work. In 27 Dresses, Katherine Heigl’s character created a personal life at work only to find it was a fantasy.

In Morning Glory, Rachel McAdams’ TV producer was ready to dump her man because he refused to accept her dedication to her job. When I read that McKenna had written I Don’t Know How She Does It, I assumed this would be her thesis statement on the topic of balance between work and home.

Instead, I Don’t Know How She Does It is a sub-sitcom level comedy about a mess of a woman, her messy life and the boring complications foisted upon her by the conventions of a boring movie. The ideas that McKenna enjoys examining are there but they exist not as ideas worth discussing but as boring romantic comedy roadblocks.

The only interesting performance in I Don’t Know How She Does It, among a cast that includes Greg Kinnear, Busy Phillipps, Christina Hendricks, Seth Meyers, Olivia Munn and Kelsey Grammer, is from Pierce Brosnan. The former 007 is completely charming in I Don’t Know How She Does It and for a time, he elevates the plot from the cliched depths of lame romantic comedy.

I can’t say that I Don’t Know How She Does It is disappointing, as the trailers did little to instill confidence. However, I did hope that screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna might sneak a few ideas into the film. Sadly, she failed and what we get is a mediocre sitcom pilot complete with storylines that could continue for endless banal weeks on any network or maybe Lifetime.

Movie Review: Warrior

Warrior (2011) 

Directed by Gavin O'Connor

Written by Gavin O'Connor, Anthony Tambakis, Cliff Dorfman

Starring Tom Hardy, Joel Edgerton, Nick Nolte 

Release Date September 9th, 2011

Published September 9th, 2011

I can imagine the pitch meeting for "Warrior;" it was likely the easiest sell in a long time. Producers likely walked up to a studio executive and promised two "Rocky" movies in one and walked away with a green light. Yes, "Warrior" is two "Rocky" movies in one as Tom Hardy's war hero and Joel Edgerton's physics teacher are both underdogs who overcome the odds for the chance to fight the big fight.

Tommy Riordon (Tom Hardy) is a former war hero attempting to stay out of the lime light. In returning home to Pittsburgh, Tommy seeks out his formerly alcoholic father, Nick Nolte, for a favor. Tommy wants a trainer for a major Mixed Martial Arts tournament and while his father was an abusive drunk who drove Tommy and his mother to run away, he was a great trainer.

Unknowingly on the same track is Tommy's brother Brendon (Joel Edgerton). A popular High School physics teacher, Brendon is facing the loss of his house if he can't come up with some extra cash. Against the wishes of his worried wife (Jennifer Morrison), Brendon returns to the world of Mixed Martial Arts to make some quick cash.

Lingering in the near future is a major Mixed Martial Arts tournament with a multi-million dollar prize. The trailer for "Warrior" has spoiled what happens in the tournament but trust me, you will still be compelled by the action captured by director Gavin O'Connor who makes the action of MMA both brutal and yet safe for all audiences; the film is rated PG-13.

There is a surprisingly soft middle to "Warrior." The family drama involving the brothers and their dad and Brendon and his wife is an easy, pushy kind of drama that states quite clearly how the audience is supposed to react to what is being presented. For me, this type of drama is irksome, others don't mind having movie think for them.

The difference between a good movie and a great movie often lies in the attention to detail. Great movies take care to avoid even the tiniest logical inconsistencies. Good movies allow a few things to slide in the hope that the big dramatic moments will make audiences forget about the flawed moments.

The flaws in "Warrior" prevent it from becoming a great movie. The problems are in the details such as the fate of Brendon's job and Tommy's leaving the military. There are others as well and each of the issues detracts from what could be a very good sports drama.

"Warrior" could have been a contender. A little more care to sure up the minor cracks in the film's logic and we could be talking about a serious Oscar contender.Tom Hardy is so phenomenal and his performance is so authentic that he nearly wills "Warrior" toward greatness. It's a shame that he is undercut by drama that doesn't trust his ability to compel us without needing to signal the audience how to feel.

Movie Review: Dream House

Dream House (2011) 

Directed by Jim Sheridan

Written by David Loucka

Starring Daniel Craig, Naomi Watts, Rachel Weisz, Martin Csokas, Elias Koteas 

Release Date September 30th, 2011

Published September 30th, 2011

You cannot separate a movie from its marketing campaign. A movie marketing campaign defines what a movie is before audiences get a chance to see it. Dream House, starring Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz has been established as a haunted house thriller via marketing but the problem is, Dream House isn’t really a haunted house movie at all.

The film stars Daniel Craig as a man investigating a murder that he may have committed. The apparitions that Craig’s character sees aren’t ghosts but rather projections of his damaged psyche. The marketing campaign trades the twist about Craig’s character having been in a mental hospital and not being the man he thought he was, so that it can sell Dream House as a ghost movie. This leaves Dream House to limp through 45 minutes of runtime to a reveal that has already been revealed in commercials and trailers.

Daniel Craig is Will Atenton, a successful book editor who is quitting his job to become an author. Will is headed home to his beautiful wife Libby (Rachel Weisz) and their two adorable daughters who are now living in their new home in the Connecticut suburbs. Unfortunately, the realtor has failed to mention that a man named Peter Ward may have murdered his family in this house or that tourists and teenagers like to drop by and look in the windows.

This takes us to about 45 minutes into Dream House. The marketing campaign has spoiled the fact that Daniel Craig’s Will is really Peter Ward and that he may have killed his family. The movie however, treats this as a shocking twist, giving this plot turn a Hitchcockian reveal.

Why spoil the twist? Why ruin what the director clearly believed was important enough to frame as a shocking surprise? The choice to spoil Craig’s identity in the marketing campaign may explain why the cast of Dream House refused to promote the film. Then again, it could also have to do with how everything after the big twist is a clumsy mess.

The resolution of Dream House finds Will/Peter investigating the murder of his family even as he can see his wife and kids as if they were still alive. Will/Peter’s neighbor Ann (Naomi Watts) is among those with important details about the murders as is Ann’s angry ex-husband Jack (Martin Csokas) and a drifter named Boyce (Elias Koteas).

The ending of Dream House is stunningly inept given all of the talent on display. Daniel Craig is compellingly sad yet determined as Peter while Naomi Watts and Rachel Weisz do variations on attractive vulnerability. Director Jim Sheridan builds a few strong individual scenes but the ending is too convoluted to be believed or enjoyed.

Could Dream House have been a better movie had the twist not been spoiled by the marketing campaign? Probably not given the bad ending but then again, we’ll will never know. As it is though, Dream House dragged on for 45 minutes to a reveal that I was already aware of before ending in the inept fashion of your average B-movie.

Movie Review: Conan the Barbarian

Conan the Barbarian (2011) 

Directed by Marcus Nispel 

Written by Thomas Dean Donnelly, Joshua Oppenheimer, Sean Hood 

Starring Jason Mamoa, Rachel Nichols, Stephen Lang, Leo Howard, Ron Perlman

Release Date August 19th, 2011

Published August 19th, 2011 

In all honesty, I expected to hate Conan the Barbarian. Critics aren’t supposed to be prejudiced against a movie but director Marcus Nispel doesn’t have a great track record. Nispel’s Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw Massacre remakes are exercises in brutality and I’m not talking about what he puts his characters through, but what he puts the audience through with his ham-fisted, overly stylized, blood and guts approach that treats characters as bags of meat that exist only to be split open like piñatas.

Don’t misunderstand, there are plenty of meat-bags in Conan the Barbarian waiting to be split open like so many pigs at a slaughterhouse, but somehow, one of the writers actually snuck a modicum of character development into the film and the yeoman work of the casting director found a few shockingly talented actors who miraculously manage to act amidst Nispel’s fetishistic bloodlust.

Jason Momoa plays Conan the Barbarian, a man born as a warrior; literally. He was born in the middle of a battle, cut from his dying mother’s womb amidst a clash of swords and the separating of limbs from bodies. Raised by his barbarian daddy, expertly played by that charming lunkhead Ron Perlman, Conan develops into a warrior at a very young age.

14 year old Leo Howard plays young Conan and the kid is a star. It was Howard as young Conan exhibiting badass skill in taking down a small horde of bad guys and carrying their severed heads back to his father as a trophy that won me over. When young Conan is forced to witness an atrocity against his family at the hands of the ruthless, power hungry Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang), Howard brings fierce intensity to Conan rather than the simple tears and fears of a child.

Jumping ahead a decade or so we find Conan as a warrior pirate sailing the scummy sea sides in search of any sign of Khalar Zym and the chance to avenge his family. When his chance arrives, following a siege by Zym and his nutty sorceress daughter, Marique (Rose McGowan), at a formerly peaceful mountainside monastery, Conan doesn’t let the opportunity pass, even if it means using an innocent beauty, Tamara (Rachel Nichols) as bait.

Jason Momoa, I’m told, is quite compelling on HBO’s Game of Thrones where his Khal Drogo is a silent yet imposing killer. In Conan the Barbarian however, Jason Momoa is shown up big time by the young Conan the Barbarian, Leo Howard. Howard is the star, Momoa merely carries on the compelling character that the kid creates. Momoa’s leaden line delivery nearly undoes the hard work Leo Howard put into making Conan so compelling. Thankfully, what Momoa failed at as an actor he makes up for as a physical presence and sword swinging apparatus.

I could sit here and hammer Conan the Barbarian for its blatant misogyny and massive lapses in logic but that would ignore the fact that I knew what Conan the Barbarian was before I saw it. I went into Conan the Barbarian aware that the film was going to treat women as sex objects and damsels in distress and I knew not to expect a heavy dose of brains other than those that spilled out of the cracked skulls of many CGI extras.

It seems unsportsmanlike to call out Conan the Barbarian for living down to expectations. And what would be more unsportsmanlike would be to deny that once you put aside the preconceived notions of Conan the Barbarian, the film is surprisingly compelling, even gripping in its blood and guts way.

Is Conan the Barbarian a little daffy at times? Absolutely, but it is also surprisingly involving and exciting. Do I welcome a Conan the Barbarian sequel? No, I don’t need to see this character ever again but for a one off, blood and guts, 3D epic, Conan the Barbarian is shockingly fun and surprisingly worth the 3D ticket price.

Movie Review: War Horse

War Horse (2011) 

Directed by Steven Spielberg 

Written by Lee Hall, Richard Curtis

Starring Emily Watson, David Thewlis, Peter Mullan, Jeremy Irvine 

Release Date December 25th, 2011 

Published December 25th, 2011

There is one truly great scene in Steven Speilberg's "War Horse." The scene involves the hero horse escaping from torture minded German soldiers, racing through a field covered in barbed wire. The horse manages to break through much of the barbed wire but eventually is taken down and looks to be dying a horrible death wrapped in barbed wire.

As the sun comes up British and German soldiers from opposite ends of this World War 1 battlefield see something moving in the middle of the battlefield and assume it may be a wounded soldier. White flags go up from both sides and a sentry is dispatched from each.

For a moment a tenuous peace is forged as two enemy soldiers work together to free the horse from the barbed wire. The dialogue, the acting and director Steven Speilberg's calm, observant style give this centerpiece scene in "War Horse" energy and excitement that is lacking in the rest of the film.

A Horse Named Joe

"War Horse" stars Jeremy Irvine as Albert, a farm boy with a loutish, drunken father (Peter Mullan) who brings home skinny horse more suited for racing than the plow horse he was supposed to purchase. Albert takes to the new horse and names it Joey.

When Albert's father sobers enough to realize what he's done he wants to shoot Joey. Albert and his mother (Emily Watson) manage to stop him at least long enough for Albert to try to teach Joey how to draw the plow over the rocky shoals of the family farmland.

Albert's task becomes a spectacle as their landlord, Mr. Lyons (David Thewlis) brings a crowd to watch what he expects will be a major failure. The plowing scenes are a solid piece of cinema; rousing and sympathetic but they are merely killing time until the major plot kicks in.

Separated by War

The major plot is World War 1 and Peter's father giving up Joey, against Albert's wishes, to the military cause. Joey becomes the property of Captain Nicholls (Tom Hiddleston) who promises to return Joey to Albert after the war. Sadly, Captain Nicholls underestimates the toll of the war ahead.

Will Joey be able to find his way back to Albert? Will Albert join the cause and search for Joey? Can either survive the horrors of the First World War? Good questions all and each has the potential to be very moving and entertaining.

"War Horse" is filled with potential mostly unrealized. Steven Speilberg's approach here is almost entirely homage with little of anything new or exciting. Individual scenes of "War Horse" capture Speilberg at his best but most of the film is a droning bore of tributes to War movies past.

Old School Meets New School

"War Horse" is the first film that Steven Speilberg edited digitally rather than with a traditional editing suite on the back of a flatbed truck. This move toward a more modern approach is somewhat ironic in that it is applied to one of the most old school movies of Speilberg's long and illustrious career.

"War Horse" is certainly not a bad movie but it's not a great movie either. The film will appeal to fans of old war movies as well as to fans of horse movies, a genre all its own. I recommend "War Horse" for the very particular group of fans I just mentioned; for everyone else "War Horse" shouldn't be your first choice until it arrives on DVD in 2012.

Movie Review In Time

In Time (2011) 

Directed by Andrew Niccol 

Written by Andrew Niccol 

Starring Amanda Seyfried, Justin Timberlake, Alex Pettyfer, Cillian Murphy 

Release Date October 28th, 2011

Published October 28th, 2011

"In Time" is one of the more irritating brands of bad movies. The film has a highly intriguing premise and a pair of attractive and convincing lead performers; it also has plot holes you could drive trucks through.

Pretty for Life

Justin Timberlake is the star of In Time. As Mark Salas, Mr. Timberlake is a man with little time to spare. In the future, human beings are genetically bred to stop aging at 25 years old. Once you hit 25 however, a genetically implanted clock begins to countdown.

Money in this future has been replaced by time. Each citizen is given one year to spend beginning on their 25th birthday but they can earn more time by working in factories. Not everyone has to work however; some are born into eons of time as a family inheritance.

One Good Deed

The plot of In Time kicks in when Will meets Henry Hamilton (Matt Bomer, White Collar). Henry is 105 years old after having been born to a family fortune. After so many years he still has more than a century on his clock but he's grown tired of living.

When Will saves Henry during a bar fight the two end up spending an evening discussing time and the way those that have time use it to manipulate those who don't. When Will awakens the following morning Henry has given him his time and disappeared to die.

Time Literally on His Hand. 

After a tragedy strikes Will's family, he makes the decision to use his new found time, literally time on his hand (Ha!), to destroy the time management system. To do this he travels to New Greenwich, a rich suburb where those with endless amounts of time live and avoid the shame of watching others fall dead in the streets after losing time.

As Will's scheme is revealed he is chased by Timekeeper Leon (Cillian Murphy) who will doggedly pursue him throughout his revolutionary journey. Joining Will, at first not by choice, is Sylvia Weis, the daughter of Phillippe Weis (Vincent Kartheiser), a centuries old man with seemingly all the time in the world.

Will takes Sylvia hostage but we aren't surprised when she and Will begin to fall in love and slowly morph into Bonnie & Clyde turned Robin Hood criminals who steal time from the rich and give it to the poor.

Occupy Time

The premise of "In Time'' is solid and Justin Timberlake is highly compelling in only his second lead role. Andrew Niccols directs In Time to Timberlake's strengths, playing up his charm before allowing IT to begin flexing his muscles in gun battles and chase scenes.

"In Time" has a timely premise, arriving at a time when the divide between the richest 1% in America are at odds with the other 99%; you could almost expect a movement in the movie to 'Occupy Time.' Sadly the film was completed well before the occupy protests began.

Stuck in a Plot-hole

Unfortunately, as intriguing and timely as "In Time" is, the film has a pair of logical fallacies so large that they undermine the movie as a whole. To describe these plot holes would reveal far too much about the film. All I will say is that the plot holes are fat and obvious and they render the film, especially the ending, ludicrous. For me, this makes ``In Time '' worse than most other bad movies because "In Time" isn't really a bad movie; it's one that squanders its goodness with bad choices.

If you are a fan of Justin Timberlake or Amanda Seyfried you may as well go ahead and give "In Time" a chance. If not, the plot holes render "In Time" barely worthy of a rental.