Movie Review Winchester The House that Ghosts Built

Winchester The House That Ghosts Built (2018) 

Directed by The Spierig Brothers 

Written by Tom Vaughn, The Spierig Brothers 

Starring Helen Mirren, Jason Clarke, Sarah Snook 

Release Date February 2nd, 2018 

Winchester is yet another silly ghost movie. Despite a cast headed by Helen Mirren, Winchester—subtitled as The House that Ghosts Built—skulks about re-enacting ghost tropes with bad lighting and cinematography, all building toward the same jump scares we’ve seen in every other ghost movie. How predictable are the jump scares in Winchester? All you have to do is remember the rule of three and you will not be surprised.

The Winchester family started the Winchester Repeating Arms company in the mid-1800s to remarkable success. Success, however, is not the word that Sarah Winchester (Mirren) would associate with her husband’s creation. The Winchester Rifle is an instrument of death, arguably the best ever invented, but you would have to be of an odd mind to consider that successful.

Though Sarah and her family enjoy the spoils of their family creation, she has the good taste to feel bad about it. However, when it seems that her grief is manifesting as a belief in ghosts and haunted goings on, executives at the rifle company decide that she is perhaps not well enough to continue as the head of the company. In order to assess Sarah’s mental health, they employ Dr. Eric Pierce (Jason Clarke).

Like any protagonist in a ghost movie, Dr. Pierce has a tragic backstory. Several years prior to the setting of our story, Dr. Pierce died…only briefly. Dr. Pierce was shot and nearly killed by his mentally ill wife, and this association with death is why Sarah Winchester allowed him to be the doctor to assess her well-being. Dr. Pierce travels to California and to Sarah’s bizarre mansion, which has remained under constant, 24-hours-a-day construction since the day it was built.

Find my full length review in the Horror Community on Vocal Find my full length review in the Horror Community on Vocal 

Movie Review Barbie

Barbie (2023)

Directed by Greta Gerwig 

Written by Noah Baumbach, Greta Gerwig 

Starring Margot Robbie, Helen Mirren, Ryan Gosling, Rhea Perlman, Simu Liu, Will Ferrell, America Ferrara 

Release Date July 21st, 2023 

Published July 23rd 2023 

Barbie is some of the most fun that I have had at the movies in 2023. The comedy is rich and thorny and the attitude is all sparkles and pink. It's lively, energetic and innovatively presented by one of our best working storytellers today, Greta Gerwig. I was highly skeptical and a bit perturbed that one of the best directors working today had turned their attention to directing a movie about Barbie. I should not have been. I should have just trusted that Greta Gerwig knew exactly what she was doing. The product of this highly commercial move into blockbuster product placement is a wildly funny meta-comedy about existence, purpose, and the desire to understand oneself. 

If any actress was going to be the right choice to deconstruct and uphold the legend of Barbie, it was Margot Robbie. She's ideal Barbie, an uber-talented, multi-hyphenate, who happens to look like a Barbie doll come to life. She's also among our most talented and versatile actors today so, of course, her take on Barbie is way more complex than anything you are anticipating. And it's that very complexity that brings the biggest laughs as invasive thoughts begin to consume Robbie's 'Stereotypical Barbie,' the version of Barbie you imagine when you think of Barbie Dolls. 

Of course, there have been dozens of different Barbies over the years. Barbies of different ethnicities, body types, and professions as vast and wide as Astronaut, Supreme Court Justice, and President Barbie. Each Barbie is played by a murderer's row of the best supporting players working today including Issa Rae, Hari Neff, Alexandra Shipp, Emma Mackey and Sharon Rooney. All of the Barbie's of this unique movie universe live in Barbieland, a magical place adjacent to the real world where Mattel, headed up by Will Ferrell, keeps pumping out market tested new versions of Barbie, as well as several Ken's. 

Oh, yeah, almost forgot about Ken. Ken is played by Ryan Gosling in a scene-stealing performance. He's stereotypical Ken and thus fated to love Barbie. But what happens if she doesn't love him? Meanwhile, several dozen other Ken's follow the lead of either stereotypical Ken or his nemesis, Ken 2 (Simu Liu). Both appear to be vying for Barbie's attention, much to Ken's dismay. Oh, and Alan (Michael Cera), is kicking around somewhere in the background. Alan is a long-discontinued pal of Ken and Barbie, a real Barbie character variation. The jokes about Alan are all hits throughout Barbie, even as Michael Cera portrays him quite sympathetically. 

Click here for my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Fast X

Fast X (2023) 

Directed by Louis Letterier 

Written by Dan Mazeau, Justin Lin 

Starring Vin Diesel, Jason Mamoa, Tyrese, Charlize Theron, Paget Brewster, John Cena, Michelle Rodriguez, Ludacris, Sung Kang, Jason Statham, Helen Mirren

Release Date May 19th, 2023 

Published May 19th, 2023 

What is there to say about Fast X? If you aren't fully onboard with the utter nonsense that is the Fast and Furious franchise at this point, why are you bothering? I happen to be fully on board for this nonsense. I fell in love with the silly, testosterone fueled nonsense in 2001 and have remained in love with this nonsense as it morphed from being about street racers pulling small scale criminal heists -they literally stole DVD players and VCRs out of semis in the original- to today when everyone is basically an immortal superhero. 

You have to accept a lot of B.S when you accept the Fast franchise. Take, for instance, where we begin in Fast X. Dom (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) begin the film back in L.A, back in what may be their old neighborhood. These are people who still live with a deep, paranoid fear that people are trying to kill them and they are living exactly where anyone trying to find them will find them, very easily, with little to no effort. 

The movie openly admits this as the plot kicks off with the person who has hunted them for the past two films, Cypher (Charlize Theron), finds their house and knocks on the door. Cypher is battered and bruised. She's bleeding from some sort of wound to her abdomen. She tells Dom and Letty that she sought them out because the person who did this is even more evil than herself. He's so evil that she wants to join their side to fight him. 

That man is Dante Reyes (Jason Mamoa) whose father, Herman Reyes (Joachim De Almeida) was killed during Fast crew's heist of a vault full of cash in Rio De Janeiro, as seen in flashback here and in full in Fast Five. Dante doesn't want to kill Dom, he wants to make him suffer. That means targeting Dom's family and trying to kill anyone who has ever help the Toretto family. Why he doesn't just roll into the L.A suburbs and do his business, I have no idea. 

Instead, Dante, being all kinds of extra, decides to blow up the Vatican and frame Dom's crew for the crime. It's as brazen and silly as that sounds. A portion of Vatican City is destroyed but exposition newscaster, one of the unsung heroes of this franchise, tells us that no one was killed. A giant bomb took out a portion of a massive tourist destination and no one was killed. Everyone in the Fast universe is a superhero. I don't know if this 'no one was killed' nonsense extends to the cops chasing Dom and his crew through the streets of Rome but if they didn't die, there is no death in this universe. 

This sequence is utterly bonkers and I loved it. I did. I loved it. It's total, non-stop, nonsense but it's so much fun. The bomb is a giant ball that rolls out of the back of a semi-truck and will not stop rolling as if Rome were nothing but a tilted table. At one point, the bomb rolls over a gas pump and the pumps explode. Dom uses his car to shield people on the street from the explosion. The bomb continues to roll but is now on fire as Dom chases it in his super-car. It's gloriously stupid and I love it. 

If Fast X lacks, it's due to director Louis Letterier who leans too far into the dour, sourpuss, self-seriousness of Dominic Toretto. Where Justin Lin and F. Gary Gray got how silly this series is and embraced the giddy stupidity, Letterier takes things in the direction that Diesel wants to go, treating the nonsense seriously and threatening to upend the strength of this franchise, how it is embraces its own nuttiness and leans into the criticism of it being the loudest, brainless franchise in Hollywood. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Shazam Fury of the Gods

Shazam Fury of the Gods (2023) 

Directed by David Sandberg

Written by Harry Gayden, Chris Morgan 

Starring Zachary Levi, Helen Mirren, Lucy Liu, Adan Brody, D.J Cotrona, Meagan Good, Rachel Zegler 

Release Date March 17th, 2023 

Published March 20th, 2023 

Just as James Gunn is about to explode the D.C Universe, Shazam Fury of the Gods arrives to recall the Snyder-verse heyday as seems to be coming to an end. Yes, we still have an Aquaman sequel and a Flash movie in our future, but the path being cut in the D.C film universe still appears to have reached an end. Whether that is a good or bad thing is entirely subjective to your feelings about D.C's scattershot personification of superheroes in the movies. Sometimes the D.C Universe is dour and bleak and sometimes the D.C Universe is broad and goofy and nothing D.C has done has married these disparate tones despite the a clear sharing of characters across movies definitively linking the movies together. 

Zach Snyder's vision of D.C's future as a wasteland ruled over by a bitter, out of control Superman still clashes violently with the vibrant, colorful and childlike wonder of Wonder Woman 84 and especially Shazam which leans further into the candy color of childhood with Shazam Fury of the Gods. Where Snyder eagerly drained the world of color, going as far as to make black and white versions of his films, Shazam and its sequel, clearly exist in a coloring book universe of childlike imagination and bright, bright colors. Fury of the Gods even has unicorns, albeit, scary snorting, warrior unicorns, they're still unicorns and that flies desperately in the face of Snyder's self-serious to the point of parody vision. 

Perhaps that is why Shazam was never glimpsed in any of Batman/The Flash's visions of the future. There is no place in that universe for an angst-riddled, slacker, dreamer like Billy Batson. Shazam is the guy who would get too confident and get himself absolutely killed by an angry Superman. That actually tracks with the bleakness of the Snyder-verse, now that I am thinking of it. Evil of the future would totally demolish the young heroes of Shazam Fury of the Gods, a group who still marvels over their own powers and obsess about their superhero names. Well, now that I have talked myself into how the D.C Film Universe actually makes sense, via the likely horrific future death of Billy Batson and his family, let's talk about Shazam Fury of the Gods. 

As we join the story, a pair of women dressed as ancient warriors have entered a museum to retrieve a staff. This staff had been used by the big bad of the last Shazam movie. In that film, spoiler alert, Billy Batson busted the staff on the assumption that breaking it would destroy its world destroying magic. What Billy could not know was that the magic in the staff was all that was keeping sisters and ex-Gods, Hespera (Helen Mirren) and Kalypso (Lucy Liu), from entering the human realm. With the staff broken, the sisters come to Earth, reassemble the staff and proceed to murder a museum full of people. These deaths are never referenced again. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Arthur

Arthur (2011) 

Directed by Jason Winer

Written by Peter Baynham 

Starring Russell Brand, Jennifer Garner, Helen Mirren, Greta Gerwig, Nick Nolte 

Release Date April 8th, 2011 

Published April 8th, 2011 

There was no urgent need to remake the 1981 comedy classic "Arthur." The legendary Dudley Moore had brought to the role of millionaire alcoholic Arthur Bach all of the assets that could be brought to it. While, the original did suffer a bit for the abominable sequel "Arthur 2: On the Rocks" that alone doesn't justify attempting a new spin on the original.

Nevertheless, we have an "Arthur" remake in theaters and starring comedian turned actor Russell Brand as the alcoholic, man-child, millionaire Arthur Bach. Brand is well suited for the role being both English, as Dudley Moore was, and having a history of alcohol abuse on which to draw a great deal of inspiration. That doesn't justify the remake but Brand does make it all quite pleasant.

Russell Brand is 'Arthur'

Arthur Bach (Russell Brand) is undoubtedly an overgrown child. When we meet Arthur for the first time he is dressed as Batman and planning to attend a black tie function being put on by his mother, Vivian (Geraldine James), arriving in the Batmobile alongside his driver and friend Bitterman (Luis Guzman), dressed as the Boy Wonder.

If you find this scenario charming then you are just the audience for "Arthur" a comedy that will repeatedly reinforce Russell Brand's man-child qualities through nerd culture signifiers. Later we will see what Arthur says is the original Darth Vader helmet among other pop culture ephemera that Brand's multi-millionaire character obtains throughout the film in order to remind fans of better movies, earning the good feelings by proxy.

A marriage of convenience

Arthur may be 30 years old but he is still cared for by his childhood nanny Hobson (Dame Helen Mirren), something he justifies by referring to her as his best friend. Hobson is supportive but mostly disdainful of Arthur's wasted life of whores and copious amounts of alcohol. Hobson is, for a short time, surprisingly in favor of seeing Arthur marry Susan Johnson (Jennifer Garner), a marriage Arthur sorely hopes to avoid.

Arthur has been instructed to marry Susan by his mother or he will be cut off from the family fortune. Susan's father (Nick Nolte) threatens to cut off something else entirely should Arthur not go through with the marriage. Arthur seems headed down the aisle until he meets Naomi (Greta Gerwig) an unlicensed tour guide and aspiring children's book author. They fall for each other immediately but will Arthur give up his fortune for love?

Charming, sarcastic and sugary sweet

Russell Brand charms his way through much of "Arthur" with well timed quips and lighthearted insults. It's a fun and funny performance well matched with Dame Helen Mirren's sturdy and often wearyingly sarcastic Hobson and Greta Gerwig's sugar sweet Naomi. But, these fabulously pleasant performances don't excuse "Arthur's" lack of necessity.

There simply remains no reason to have done a remake of "Arthur." I like Russell Brand and the rest of the cast but each could be doing something more original and constructive instead of going through the motions of someone else's comedy legend. Director Jason Winer and writer Peter Baynham offer too little that is new here and what little new there is doesn't make this "Arthur" relevant or unique.

Worth seeing for Russell Brand fans

If you have seen the trailers or commercials for "Arthur" and thought that you'd like to see it then I encourage you to go. You are likely a fan of Russell Brand and his work here is solid. If you are on the fence however, there is nothing in "Arthur" that screams must see.

Wait for the DVD and you will likely be just as satisfied. Or, you could rent the Dudley Moore original and be so delighted that you forget the remake entirely.

Movie Review Red

RED (2010)

Directed by Robert Schwentke

Written by Jon Hoeber, Erich Hoeber

Starring Bruce Willis, Mary Louise Parker, Helen Mirren, Brian Cox, Morgan Freeman, Karl Urban

Release Date October 15th, 2010

Published October 14th, 2010

The romantic side of Bruce Willis is the side most people tend to ignore. Yet, in movies as diverse as “The Whole Nine Yards,” ``TheFifth Element” and even the “Die Hard” movies, one thing that stands out is Willis's abiding romantic streak. Whether it's love at first sight with Amanda Peet's wannabe assassin in Yards or Milla Jovavich's alien badass in Element or his endless devotion to wife Holly in Die Hard, romance sings within the action hero.

In “Red” Willis finds himself once again seeking romance, this time falling in love with the voice of Mary Louise Parker as his benefits manager at his former gig with the CIA. The voice connection quickly turns into a physical one when their monitored conversations threaten to get them both killed.

Frank Moses (Willis) was once, arguably, the most dangerous man in the world. In his role as a covert CIA Agent, Frank took down dictators and toppled entire governments all the while keeping the Russians at bay long enough for Communism to fall. Today, Frank lives in suburban boredom colored RED, Retired Extremely Dangerous.

Frank's minor pleasures come in his conversations with the woman who handles his retirement pay, Sarah (Parker). They have sparked a flirty chemistry over the phone and now Frank is ready to move things along to an actual physical encounter. These plans are upended when Frank finds and kills trained assassins in his home.

Assuming it is related to his conversations with Sarah he immediately travels to where she is, kidnaps her and the two go on the run. The first stop means recruiting an old friend abandoned and bored in a nursing home, Joe (Morgan Freeman). Then there is a trip to Florida where the terribly paranoid Marvin (John Malkovich) awaits. Finally, there is Victoria (Helen Mirren) , the most dangerous yet well adjusted of this group of RED Agents. 

Why is the CIA, led by Agent Cooper (Karl Urban) out to kill Frank? What does it have to do with Sarah? How big is the conspiracy? Who really cares? You won't care but you really aren't supposed to. The point of Red is not brilliant plotting or complex motivations but rather highly stylized violence and clever line reading, things “Red” has in abundance. 

Malkovich is the scene stealer in “Red” as Marvin Boggs, a former agent who was subjected to more than a decade of daily LSD treatments. His paranoia is matched with terrific intuition and ability for violence and Malkovich plays the wicked good guy with the kind of hammy glee usually reserved for his over the top bad guys. 

Morgan Freeman gets the short shrift as the oldest member of the crew. He has a few good moments, especially when putting the lights out on a guest star that I will leave as a surprise, but sadly his role amounts to little more than a cameo. Better served are Dame Helen Mirren and Bryan Cox who plays a former KGB killer and an important figure in both Frank and Victoria's past. 

Bruce Willis and Mary Louise Parker don't spark the chemistry that Willis had with Amanda Peet or Milla Jovavich but for Willis the romantic action hero there is plenty of fun to be had. Parker seems to be cracking up in every scene and Willis enjoys her cracking up even as he is required to keep a straight face. It's a fun if not quite sexy pairing. Parker brings out the playful side of a character that really is not playful and the laughs this generates are big and satisfying.

Karl Urban rounds out the main cast showing off the same comic panache he brought to his role as Bones McCoy in “Star Trek.” I find Urban to be fascinating in that he can play the ripped up action hero or comic relief with the same energy and surprising wit. Urban is everything modern action heroes like Sam Worthington or Gerard Butler have yet proven to be, constantly interesting. 

”Red” succeeds on the charisma of its stars. The likeability of this group is off the charts and more than enough to distract from the overly familiar and predictable plot. Bruce Willis is so much more interesting than his action hero contemporaries like Stallone or the Governator. The romance of Willis, the way his humanity is reflected by the women he desires, it's a beat that other action heroes can't play. It may be that one element that always sets him apart. It is undoubtedly what sets “Red” apart as some of Willis's best work.

Movie Review Legend of the Guardian The Owls of Ga'Hoole

Legend of the Guardians The Owls of Ga'Hoole (2010)

Directed by Zack Snyder

Written by John Orloff, Emil Stern

Starring Jim Sturgess, Helen Mirren, Geoffrey Rush, Hugo Weaving, Abbie Cornish

Release Date September 24th, 2010

Published September 23rd, 2010

Why a movie about warrior owls? Where did this idea come from? Who saw this and thought 'Warrior Owls? Brilliant!" As baffling as the idea may be, “Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole” is for real and arrives in theaters with the help of some extraordinary animation and the marketing hook of 3D.

Soren (Voice of Jim Sturgess, 21) is a dreamer who lives for his father's stories about the Warriors of Ga'Hoole, Owl defenders who protect the meek from the tyranny of evil owls. Though the Warriors have not been heard of in years, Soren and little sister Eglantine (Adrienne DeFaria) are fervent believers in the legend while Soren's brother Kludd (Ryan Kwanten) has tired of the stories.

Soren and Kludd will soon have the chance to verify the reality of the Warriors of Ga'Hoole when they find themselves kidnapped by the evil Metalbeak (Joel Edgerton) and forced to become warriors for the Pure Owls or lowly workers deep inside of mines where Owl's, zombified by Moon Blindness, sift endlessly for pieces of a new and deadly weapon.

Soren being brave and defiant quickly takes to the aid of an Elf Owl named Gylfie (Emily Barclay) and the two seek freedom with the help of a former kidnappee, Grimble (Hugo Weaving), who teaches them to fly and points them in the direction of the Warriors of Ga'Hoole.

Soren and Gylfie are charged with flying halfway round the world to the great tree to find and warn the warriors. Along the way they are joined by a misfit pair of Owls who pitch in to help, Digger (David Wenham) and Twilight (Anthony LaPaglia). Indeed, the Warriors are real as is Soren's hero Ezylrib (Geoffrey Rush) who literally and figuratively takes young Soren under his wing.

The stakes are set quickly and easily by director Zack Snyder (“300”, “The Watchmen”) and though the storytelling is elementary, the animation is as epic and complex as anything you've ever seen before. Snyder, for all his bombast, is a visionary who sees a massive epic where people like me see merely warrior owls.

Snyder's visionary approach brings massive scope and scale to what otherwise seems a minor kids story. Author Kathryn Lasky's book series is pitched with simple stories; simple meanings intended to offer valuable lessons for kids in the 5 to 12 age group. Under the direction of Mr. Snyder, the story remains childish and simple but the vision and the design are aimed at any audience seeking a dynamic visual experience.

Indeed, “Legend of the Guardians” is an exceptional visual feast filled with pitched battles, and stunning scenes of flight. Even when the owls are grounded one cannot help but be dazzled by the detailed animation that is rivaled only by the artists at Pixar. See Legend of the Guardians in its Digital presentation and you will be awed by the color and contours of the animation.

Sadly, in 3D Digital, “Legend of the Guardians” is robbed of a true dimension. Sure, things leap off of the screen but because the science of 3D Glasses has yet to catch up with the new generation of on screen 3D technology, the glasses strangle the color and rather than adding to the experience it hampers it. Having seen a Digital 2D presentation and the 3D Presentation there is simply no competition, 2D Digital blows the 3D away.

The complex colors are not merely a visual extravagance. During the massive battle sequence at the crescendo of Legend of the Guardians, color becomes important in determining who is fighting who and where our rooting interest lies. Digital 3D dulls the colors and strains the eye while Digital 2D presents bright, vivid color and the effect is breathtaking.

A visual spectacular, “Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole” is not likely to win any awards for great storytelling. This is a very simple story with a solid, worthy message about protecting those in need and fighting evil. It's told with the kind of simplicity that will bore adults but will be easy for small children to follow. The key appeal of “Legend of the Guardians” is the visual feast and on that account, it's worth the price of a 2D Digital ticket, if not a 3D ticket.

Movie Review Raising Helen

Raising Helen (2004) 

Directed by Garry Marshall

Written by Jack Amiel, Michael Begler

Starring Kate Hudson, John Corbett, Joan Cusack, Hayden Panattiere, Spencer Breslin, Helen Mirren

Release Date May 28th, 2004

Published May 30th, 2004 

Ever since I was a kid, there was one thing that my mother and I had in common and that was a love for movies. Though our tastes are very different, occasionally my mom would surprise me. She loves Days of Heaven and Sleepless In Seattle, she loves La Dolce Vita and Grease, all of which are in her video collection. Her one abiding love however is cheeseball romantic comedies. Anything of the Hanks-Ryan canon, Julia Roberts is a goddess, but only romantic Julia, preferably teamed with Richard Gere.

I bring this up because on Mother's Day my mother joined me for one of those cheeseball romantic comedies she so dearly loves, Garry Marshall's new film Raising Helen. While I sat there in my cynical, cold-hearted shell completely unmoved by Marshall's greeting card sentimentality, my mother laughed and cried as if on cue from the film to do so. It's an example that any film critic needs to hear that certain movies play to certain audiences. That doesn't make a movie good but it should give you something to think about before launching into another cynical diatribe about the death of film. I might have walked away from this film ready to write such a review had my mom not been there.

In typical romantic comedy fashion, Helen Harris (Kate Hudson) has a fabulous job, fabulous friends and endless amounts of disposable income for her fabulous clothes and apartment. This all changes when Helen's older sister Lindsey and her husband are killed in a car crash leaving behind three children. Naturally, Helen assumes that her other sister Jenny (Joan Cusack), already a wife and mother, will take in Lindsey's kids but Lindsey has a surprise for them both. In what many would consider bad judgment, Lindsey has left the kids, Audrey, 14 (Hayden Panettiere), Henry, 10 (Spencer Breslin) and Sarah, 5 (Abigail Breslin) to Helen.

Helen's life of fashion shows and nightclubs is thrown out of whack. Soon her trendy apartment is gone in favor of a not-so-posh Brooklyn apartment. Her job working at a fashion agency for the criminally underused Helen Mirren in a throwaway role as Helen's boss, is gone because her kids destroy a fashion show. On the bright side, Helen has found the kids a good school. A Lutheran high school where the principal is the very handsome Pastor Dan (John Corbett).

From my perspective this obvious material moves slowly towards its obvious conclusions with a little humor and plenty of contrived melodrama. Sitcom level humor permeates every corner of the film that isn't taken up with “very special episode” style theatrics. However, for every cynical hard-hearted comment from me, my mom laughed and cried. Mom was under the film’s spell from moment one and remained there until the very end.

The one part of the film that we both could agree upon were the actors who at times when not being manipulated by the plot, actually are very good. Kate Hudson deserves a better vehicle for her talents than the tired romances she seems trapped in at the moment. The radiance and life force that made Almost Famous so memorable still shines through, slightly dimmed because the material is not nearly as engaging as she is.

The supporting cast is also very good. Joan Cusack may be the most reliable character actresses in all of Hollywood. John Corbett backs up his handsome face with great wit and self-deprecating manner. The film actually gets a little better in the scenes when it's only Hudson and Corbett together, these two have terrific chemistry. The child actors are…well, they are child actors and in movies like these, they are placeholders for the plot.

Ask me how I feel about Raising Helen and I'll tell you that Garry Marshall's affinity for greeting card level emotions is as grating as fingernails on a chalkboard. Raising Helen is another assembly line Hollywood film that had a poster before it had a script. However, my Mom would tell you that Raising Helen is a sweet, funny, family movie that will make you laugh and cry and walk out with a smile on your face and a little choked up. Mom would give Raising Helen 10 out of 10. I wish I could be as kind.

Movie Review National Treasure 2 Book of Secrets

National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets 

Directed by Jon Turteltaub 

Written by Cormac Wibberley, Marianne Wibberley, Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio 

Starring Nicolas Cage, Jon Voight, Ed Harris, Diane Kruger, Justin Bartha, Helen Mirren, Harvey Keitel

Release Date December 21st, 2007 

Published December 19th, 2007

2004's National Treasure came out of nowhere to become a late season blockbuster. With its popular take on legendary conspiracies, big time action and stunts and its family safe PG rating, National Treasure was like a perfect map to blockbuster success.

Naturally, with a film so successful there would have to be a sequel and the crew of National Treasure is indeed back. Nicholas Cage returns to the role of Benjamin Franklin Gates, historian, adventurer and most of all treasure hunter. With his electronics wiz pal Riley (Justin Bartha), Ben has been chasing all sorts of treasures for years.

The latest adventure has an important personal connection. As Ben is lecturing to a group of students on the history of his famous family of adventurers and treasure hunters, he is confronted by Mitch Wilkerson (Ed Harris) who claims a scrap of paper from the diary of John Wilkes Booth proves that Gate's great great grandfather conspired to kill President Lincoln.

Knowing that his family history proves otherwise, Ben sets out on a new adventure to track down the evidence that proves his great great grandpa's innocence. The trail leads Ben, Riley and Ben's dad Patrick (Jon Voight) to an ancient book passed down through the ages from one President to another. It's the legendary presidential Book Of Secrets.

Home to all of the greatest conspiracies in history, the book holds the key to whether great great grandpa Gates was a traitor or not. Hot on the trail of the book as well is Wilkerson and his secret society of thugs and Harvey Keitel as an FBI agent whose job has long been keeping on what Ben Gates is up to.

It is impossible to deny the fun of the National Treasure movies. With their goofball stunts and good humor, the movies are inoffensive and easily digestible. While you are watching them you smile and chuckle and for most that will be enough to call it successful.

If you like your movies with low brain power and plenty of distracting explosions and diversions, you will love National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets. You won't recall the experience 10 minutes after it's over, but at least it won't take up space in your memory as it didn't in mine. I have seen National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets twice now and I still needed the Wikipedia plot description and Rottentomatoes reviews of my fellow critics to remind me that the film existed.

Forgettable, low watt entertainment, if you like movies the way you like a good candy bar or a can of soda, you'll like the disposable entertainment of National Treasure.... uh, what was that subtitle again? I forget?

Movie Review State of Play

State of Play (2009) 

Directed by Kevin MacDonald 

Written by Matthew Michael Carnahan, Tony Gilroy, Billy Ray 

Starring Russell Crowe, Ben Affleck, Rachel McAdams, Robin Wright Penn, Jason Bateman, Jeff Daniels, Helen Mirren 

Release Date April 17th, 2002 

Published April 16th, 2002 

Some of my favorite movies of all time have featured crusading journalists. All The President's Men is, of course, the best known, but my favorite is Ron Howard's underrated The Paper. I know I am likely alone on that one but Howard's bustling newsroom filled to overflow with quirk ridden reporters and columnists makes me smile every time I watch it. Michael Keaton may be best remembered as having played Batman but for me he will always be the ink stained wretch who kept after the story even after the paper had gone to press. Randy Quaid, Glenn Close, Robert Duvall and Marisa Tomei round out a brilliant cast in a movie that dripped with ink.

Now comes State of Play, another crusading journalist story, this one with the kink of having notorious reporter hater Russell Crowe as of all things a reporter. It's a sensational piece of casting, working for the aforementioned kink and because Crowe is just so charming. What source wouldn't turn cartwheels to help this guy get a scoop.

Crowe is Cal McCaffrey, a 15 year veteran newsman at the Washington Globe. While the rest of the industry is on laptops and blogging, Cal is still all about the pen and the kind of shoe leather journalism that gets you information you could never get in an email or a Facebook posting.

McCaffrey is investigating an odd double homicide when his best friend, a Congressman named Stephen Collins (Ben Affleck) suddenly comes to the center of all Washington headlines. Collins' top assistant and secret bedmate has been killed or maybe committed suicide and the Congressman is in hot water. He turns to Cal for some sympathy and boy does Cal owe him one.

You see, Cal has a history with his best pals' wife (Robin Wright Penn) and doesn't think the Congressman is going to let him forget about it. So, Cal quickly helps the Congressman with some crisis strategy and even crosses an ethical line by trying to convince one of the paper's online bloggers, Della Frye (Rachel McAdams) to not report certain details about the Congressman's affair.

Eventually, the murder Cal is covering comes to cross paths with his pals political scandal and Cal has no choice but to join the two stories and begin looking for answers. Answers about the murder, about a potential Government and Corporate conspiracy and some very uncomfortable questions about his best friend the Congressman.

Russell Crowe joined the cast of State Of Play a week before shooting began, Ben Affleck shortly after Crowe, and yet both are terrifically well cast.. Crowe is especially good, coming to perfectly embody the role of a hardscrabble reporter. With his greasy, floppy hair and a guy that says he spends all day hunched over a keyboard, Crowe owns this character and it is through him that State of Play succeeds.

Affleck is strong as well but he's much more in the background of this story than the commercials may be. Scenes where we are focused on Affleck's Congressman are arguably the weakest of the movie but that is no comment on Affleck's performance but rather of how compelling the newsroom scenes with Crowe, Rachel McAdams and the great Helen Mirren as their crusty editor are.

We are left wanting more of those scenes and are a little letdown when Crowe is offscreen so other information can be imparted.

There are some little inconsistencies in this allegedly modern newsroom. First comes with a line from McAdams about people wanting to read their big scoop stories and 'get ink on their fingers' as if the story weren't going online well ahead of the print edition. The other minor niggling detail is, really could a scandal ridden Congressman really walk into a shady hotel or even less plausibly, A Washington D.C Newsroom, without someone hitting Twitter or Facebook within seconds with the news that said scandal ridden Congressman has just walked in.

The film and the plot have neither the time or the inclination to tackle such modern technological issues. Realistically, the film doesn't have to address these things for it to be a highly entertaining popcorn thriller but someday some movie will and that movie will be the definitive movie of the modern newspaper.

State Of Play aims to pay tribute to old school journalism and tackle the modern problems plaguing modern journalism and in the performance of Russell Crowe and in an end credits montage, elements of State of Play are indeed like a Hallmark card to a dying breed of dogged journos.

It is as a thriller where State of Play aims to find an audience and it is a good if not great one. When Crowe accidentally stumbles into some serious danger you will hold your breath waiting for him to be safe again. There are one or two of those moments in State of Play and they are tense and exciting enough and the ending just twisty enough for me to say check out State of Play.

Movie Review No Such Thing

No Such Thing (2002) 

Directed by Hal Hartley

Written by Hal Hartley 

Starring Sarah Polley, Helen Mirren, Julie Christie, Baltasar Kormakur

Release Date March 29th, 2002 

Published July 8th, 2002 

Director Hal Hartley is known for his unusual, free-form style of filmmaking. When Hartley’s style is really on to something  good the result can be brilliant. But when it's wrong it is often massively so. Such was the case of Hartley’s 2001 release, No Such Thing. The film is an absolute catastrophe. It’s a meandering and often pointless feature desperately in search of a purpose. 

The film stars the lovely Sarah Polley as Beatrice, a naive young television intern whose fiancée, a reporter, disappears while doing an investigative report in Iceland. Beatrice's Uber-bitch boss, played by  Helen Mirren, and credited only as ‘The Boss’, wants to exploit the boyfriend’s disappearance based upon the sensationalistic rumor that a real-life monster killed the TV crew.

Is the monster some sort of legend or does he really exist? Beatrice offers to fly to Iceland to investigate and is given the assignment but on the way there she is nearly killed in a plane crash. Once again, The Boss sees a story she can exploit. The one survivor of the plane crash is her intern so she naturally assumes she will have an exclusive. Beatrice however, refuses to be interviewed so The Boss fires her. 

After 2 years under the care of the kindly Dr. Anna (Julie Christie), and with miracle surgery, Beatrice learns to walk again and continues her journey to Iceland where she encounters the Monster. Former Robocop 3 star Robert John Burke is the extremely put-upon monster who would be fine if people would just leave him alone. He isn't as psychotic as he is annoyed, so if killing a couple of people here and there will buy him some peace then he'll kill. 

Arriving in the village where her fiance and his crew disappeared, Beatrice is convinced to drink herself into a stupor by the locals. Then, they strip her and leave her as an offering to The Beast who’d really rather be left alone than have to kill anyone.  From there, Beatrice and the Monster form an unusual bond, which leads them to New York and the media spotlight and inklings of the monster’s origin.

If my plot description is convoluted you should see the movie. I've seen more coherent storylines in untranslated original language anime cartoons. Hal Hartley both wrote and directed No Such Thing and he appears to want to make a statement about our over-saturated media. However, Hartley tells the story in such a way that he is just beating the audience over the head with his own personal dislikes regarding the media. 

The film’s resolution, if you could call it that, is an annoyingly stupid metaphor, a statement about our society that is so obvious I'm stretching to call it a metaphor. The dialogue practically screams what Hartley should be saying much more quietly. Media bad. No subtlety, no thoughtful statement about how consumer society and a 24 hour news cycle have combined to create a poisonous public discourse. No, No Such Thing is basically Hartley shouting in your ear, MEDIA BAD! 

Not even the incredible Sarah Polley can make a dent in the mess that is No Such Thing. In this film she's called upon to dull her best features, her wry intelligence and sharp wit in service of Hartley’s hammer blow approach to metaphor. Would you tell Meryl Streep not to do an accent? Then don't tell Sarah Polley to not be acerbic. Polley, when she was acting, before she moved to the director’s chair, was one of our sharpest actors and seeing her be dull in No Such Thing is a major letdown. 

I will say this for Hal Hartley, when he fails he fails spectacularly. No Such Thing is quite clearly a swing for the fences. Unfortunately, he struck out.

Movie Review The Debt

The Debt (2011) 

Directed by John Madden 

Written by Matthew Vaughn, Jane Goldman, Peter Straughan 

Starring Jessica Chastain, Helen Mirren, Sam Worthington, Martin Csokas, Ciaran Hinds, Tom Wilkinson

Release Date August 31st, 2011 

Published August 30th, 2011 

"The Debt" is one of the bigger disappointments of 2010. A phenomenal cast, including Helen Mirren, Tom Wilkinson and Jessica Chastain, led by Oscar nominated director John Madden deliver a movie that is truly riveting until the final 15 minutes when the film flies so far off the rails that it trashes all that came before it.

"The Debt" tells the story of three Mossad agents who travel to East Germany at the height of the Cold War in an attempt to capture a Nazi war criminal (Jesper Christensen). This particular criminal is hiding out as a gynecologist thus creating the need for a female agent to join a pair of male agents already in place.

Rachel Singer (Jessica Chastain) is just 25 years old and working as a translator when she is drafted for this dangerous mission. She joins mission commander Stephan Gold (Martin Csokas) and the man who will pose as her husband, David Peretz (Sam Worthington), in East Germany where she will pose as a patient for the Nazi and get close enough to render him unconscious.

The mission is undoubtedly the most exciting sequence in "The Debt." Director John Madden brings an arm rest, squeezing tension to the scene where Rachel takes down the doctor and her fellow agents sneak the doctor out the side door. What happens next I will leave you to discover.

"The Debt" employs a shifting timeline that allows us a glimpse 30 years into the future. In the future Rachel's daughter has written a book about her mother's heroic actions in the capture of the butchering Nazi criminal. Rachel, now played by Helen Mirren, however, indicates by her lack of cooperation with her own daughter's book that something happened on the mission that we aren't entirely aware of.

Tom Wilkinson and Ciaran Hinds play the elder versions of Stephan and David and while Stephan has parlayed the results of the mission into a highly successful political career, David disappeared for a very long time before emerging on the eve of the release of Rachel's daughter's book.

What drove David underground and has Rachel feeling intense guilt? I will leave that for you to discover should you decide to see "The Debt." Sadly, I don't recommend that you do see "The Debt." Despite a few terrific scenes, another terrific performance from It-Girl Jessica Chastain, brilliant in both "The Help" and "The Tree of Life" earlier this year, and a very compelling turn by Helen Mirren, "The Debt" has a massive flaw that it cannot overcome.

The massive flaw, which I will not reveal, is in the film's ending. It's one of those endings that, if you're like me, will leave you shaking your head and wanting to say to director John Madden: Really? In an apoplectic fashion reminiscent of the SNL Weekend Update snark.

I cannot stress enough how wildly disappointing this ending is. The end of "The Debt" reduces the film to a message so juvenile and parochial that you just can't believe the filmmakers wasted their time with it. More importantly, you can't believe they wasted your time and that of this brilliant cast who deserved so much more.

"The Debt" is among the biggest disappointments of the year. There is so much good in this movie that only an ending as wildly ludicrous as this could take the movie from potential Oscar contender to a movie that I cannot recommend because of its massively, wildly flawed final minutes.

Movie Review The Last Station

The Last Station(2009) 

Directed by Michael Hoffman 

Written by Michael Hoffman 

Starring Christopher Plummer, Helen Mirren, James McAvoy, Paul Giamatti, Kerry Condon 

Release Date December 23rd, 2009 

Published January 5th, 2010 

I know little of Leo Tolstoy beyond his most famous works. I have not read “War and Peace” or “Anna Karenina.” Like so many poseur intellectuals I speak of wanting to read them as a way of improving my standing in conversation. Tolstoy has been co-opted by many more famous impostors than I. Now, having experienced “The Last Station,” a fictionalized account of Tolstoy’s last days, I feel I should attempt a more sincere appreciation.

“The Last Station” stars Christopher Plummer as Tolstoy and Helen Mirren as his wife of 48 years, Countess Sophia. In another incarnation this film starred Anthony Hopkins as Tolstoy and Meryl Streep as the Countess. Regardless, “The Last Station” in its final form cannot be improved upon. The relationship between Tolstoy and his wife in the last year of his life is observed by us through the eyes of Valentin (James McAvoy). Hired to be Tolstoy’s personal secretary, Valentin is really a spy for Tolstoy’s long time acolyte Chertkov (Paul Giamatti), the leader of the so-called Worldwide Tolstoyan Movement.

Chertkov suspects that the Countess is pushing Tolstoy to sell his great works to the highest bidder instead of giving them to Chertkov who plans to distribute them for free as part of the movement. Valentin, a true believer in the movement, right down to the misguided chastity pledge, which Tolstoy himself disabuses him of, is trapped right in the middle of a bitter power struggle.

Valentin’s troubles are multiplied when he meets Masha (Kerry Condon). Among the only women in the movement, Masha definitely never got the chastity pledge part; she lives the Tolstoy philosophy directly from the books and not from Chertkov’s co-opting of Tolstoy. Masha immediately falls for Valentin, whose lack of sexual experience makes him both terrified and bold. The romance is encouraged by both Tolstoy and the Countess whose own love affair has run hot and cold for more than 40 years. Chertkov meanwhile, sees Valentin’s love as a betrayal and is concerned that Valentin has been won over to the side of the Countess.

When Chertkov arrives at the compound after years of house arrest in Moscow he immediately sets about isolating Tolstoy from the Countess and leaving Valentin even more trapped amid the struggle for the great man’s soul. Directed by Michael Hoffman (“Restoration”), “The Last Station” is a passionate tale of lifelong love and a devotion to an idea. Tolstoy was desperate to help the dispossessed, a need exploited by Chertkov and loathed by the Countess who felt he should care for his family above all.

The wedge driven between the love of Tolstoy’s life and the ideals he so passionately defended is a deep and enduring drama driven home in the wounded soul performance of the great Christopher Plummer. In what can be fairly called the finest performance in his illustrious career, Christopher Plummer gives a lively, full breath performance as Tolstoy.

While the great man can fairly be called out for being wishy washy over his final wishes, he is not without passion in both directions and the conflicting passions are the chafing tension at the heart of “The Last Station.”

James McAvoy is an excellent stand in for us in the audience. As the innocent observer he on our behalf witnesses with wide eyes Tolstoy’s love for the Countess and his commitment to care for the poor that was part of Tolstoy’s work. When McAvoy as Valentin falls for Masha, the film adds another layer of drama and romance to an already moving and engaging film.

Kerry Condon is radiant as Masha, a free spirit who refuses to be tied down to any one’s idea of life but her own even as she has a soft spot for Tolstoy’s visionary empathy.

Helen Mirren and Paul Giamatti round out a fine ensemble cast as two people who were destined to clash. The Countess was always a woman of privilege whose status gave Tolstoy free reign to become the champion of the poor. Chertkov, on the other hand, was a peasant and perhaps a charlatan who gained a modest amount of celebrity status for himself thanks to his access to and eventual guru-like control over Tolstoy.

“The Last Station” brims with passion, tension, love and deep sadness.

The final scenes, set inside the cottage of a railroad Pullman surrounded by a coterie of reporters waiting like vultures for the news of Tolstoy’s passing, are moving for being pitched at just the right dramatic level. As the Countess waits outside in a railroad car, Tolstoy calls out for his love and Valentin’s divided soul, minus Masha, and pulled by Chertkov, radiates with grief.

It is a powerful series of scenes and one you must see and feel for yourself. “The Last Station” is one of the best movies of 2009.

Movie Review: The Queen

The Queen (2006)

Directed by Stephen Frears 

Written by Peter Morgan 

Starring Helen Mirren, Michael Sheen, James Cromwell, Helen McCrory, Roger Allam 

Release Date September 15th, 2006 

Published November 1st, 2006 

My memory of the death of Princess Diana begins with me being at work. It was after midnight and I was on the radio on Mix 96 a popular adult contemporary radio station. An employee watching the news wires at a news radio station in the same building brought me the breaking news about the car accident and the eventual pronouncement of death. I was in my second year as a broadcaster and had never broken into programming before.

I made the call to forgo waking my boss to ask permission and went ahead and went on the air with the tragic news. Then I made another editorial decision, I removed Billy Joel's "Only The Good Die Young" from my playlist. I wasn't supposed to, it was and remains against protocol for anyone to remove songs from the playlist. I made the decision I felt was appropriate and stuck by it.

My decision was extraordinarily minor in the grand scheme of things but appropriate responses to this tragedy are very much apart of the discussion that takes place in the movie The Queen, starring Helen Mirren, which details the seemingly inappropriate response of the monarchy to the death of the former Princess. The Royal Family was already clinging to relevance when Princess Di was tragically killed in a Paris car accident, in the wake of Di's death, the question of relevance gave way to questions of necessity and desire. 

In the five days between when Diana the Princess of Whales was killed in a car accident in Paris and the time she was laid to rest in a funeral at Westminster Abbey, England held vigil outside Buckingham Palace awaiting a response from their Queen, Queen Elizabeth the 2nd (Helen Mirren). There was none. The Queen along with husband Prince Philip (James Cromwell), the Queen Mum (Sylvia Sims), Prince Charles (Alex Jennings) and his and Diana's sons remained sequestered at the royal palace at Balmorel.

The non-response was roundly roasted throughout the British press and lead to articles and polls touting the fact that many Britons were coming around to the idea of ending the monarchy altogether. Watching this spectacle, with more than a little vested interest, was the newly installed British Prime Minister Tony Blair (Michael Sheen). It was Blair who took the pulse of the people and lead the public mourning of Diana; he dubbed her the People's Princess.

Blair's response to the tragedy was lauded by the people and the press because it felt un-calculated and yet it managed to heighten pressure on the Queen who remained in a cocoon of royal propriety, unwilling to issue even a statement and, at a critical moment, refusing fly a flag over Buckingham Palace at half staff as so many had called on her to do. Even seemingly minor gestures of public grieving over Diana appeared impossible for the cold-hearted Queen. 

The achievement of Stephen Frears' The Queen is to give context and reason to Queen Elizabeth's non-response. At no point are those of us who liked Princess Diana going to agree with the cold and detached way Queen Elizabeth reacted to Diana's death but we can be understanding and even, possibly, cut the Queen a little slack based on the complicated and strained standards upheld by the Royal Family. Tradition may seem rather silly to outsiders, but inside the palace, protocol is a religion. 

The film doesn't intend to criticize the Queen, deify Diana, or make excuses for either. The Queen presents the facts and allows us to make up our own minds about these people. Thus when the Queen says Diana isn't even royalty anymore we are rightly taken aback. However, as we learn a little more of the Queen's background and we cut deeper into this factory sealed world of royalty, we can come to understand how such detachment and such an unbending attachment to protocol and propriety might lead to exactly the response the Queen has.

Essentially, chilly, dispassionate, detachment is part of the breeding of a Queen and to expect anything else is simply dishonest. Does this excuse such inhumanity as the Queen being unwilling to make any compromise or even acknowledge the obvious, growing need of her people for an emotional response to the tragedy? No, but it does explain it.

The movie The Queen turns on the brilliant, Oscar worthy work of Helen Mirren. This is by far the best performance by any actress this year. Mirren captures the icy demeanor we all know of Queen Elizabeth and then infuses her with a withering intelligence, self awareness, and, by the end, a certain poignancy as she must come to terms with how the times and her subjects have passed her by.

Michael Sheen as Tony Blair borders at times on making the Prime Minister a toadying stooge to the monarchy but, for the most part, the movie captures the popular Blair, the one who was the chief mourner of Diana. Michael Sheen's conception of Blair is a man of the people who knew just how to react to tragedy. Keep in mind, Blair was squarely in the middle of a battle of wills that few realized was happening. On one side was the monarchy whose detachment was reaching a critical point and on the other side were the people who, without a royal response to the tragedy, were coming  around to the idea of no monarchy at all.

Sheen deftly plays Blair's conflict as he must manage the entirely unmanageable Queen while members of his own staff, and even his wife, Cherie Blair, well played by Helen McRory, talked openly about whether the time of the monarchy had passed. This is award level work by Sheen who slowly works Blair's golden boy charm into the smart, savvy persona that Blair held until recently when his decision to join the American adventure in Iraq began eroding his standing with the British people.

Before seeing The Queen I watched Emilio Estevez's supremely flawed movie Bobby another movie that is at least sort of about the tragic death of a beloved public figure. Watching Bobby made me look a little deeper at the death of Princess Diana and the overwhelming response people had to it. The death of Bobby Kennedy effected history, literally. He could have gone on to become the most powerful man in the world and made decisions that would have rippled through history even today.

Princess Diana, on the other hand, her death, though tragic did not effect history. I'm not meaning in anyway to demean the Princess whose good works and charity effected millions of lives, but there is a difference between the effect of her life and that of Bobby Kennedy that makes the response to her death a little puzzling.

For five days the crowds of mourners swelled into the millions and the public outcry over the non-response of the monarchy nearly called for a storming of castles. The out sized response was a testament to how much the people loved Princess Diana but to an outsider like myself it seemed a little much. The Queen portrays Queen Elizabeth as something of an outsider herself, in relation to her people and this allowed me, at the very least, to identify with her and respect her decision not to engage in the public wringing of emotion.

Queen Elizabeth was wrong to be so cold to someone who had borne her two grandchildren, one of whom is the future King, and there is no question that she could have made a couple of compromises to placate the public. Many were right to criticize her detachment and inability to change with the times. What the movie The Queen effectively offers however is an opportunity, if you are so inclined, to identify with Queen Elizabeth and her more than fair unwillingness to engage in the public's outpouring of emotion.

The Queen is a sensational film with academy notable performances from Helen Mirren and Michael Sheen. The Queen is also smart, entertaining and endlessly watchable for what might on the surface seem like another British chamber piece; impenetrable to the average American moviegoer. The Queen has the gravitas of masterpiece theater but a story that engages all audiences. The Queen is a true must see picture.

Movie Review: Nutcracker and the Four Realms

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) 

Directed by Lasse Hallstrom, Joe Johnston

Written by Ashleigh Powell 

Starring Keira Knightley, Mackenzie Foy, Eugenio Derbez, Richard E. Grant, Helen Mirren 

Release Date November 2nd, 2018 

Published November 1st, 2018 

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms isn’t bad if you’re under the age of 10 perhaps. If you can see it through the eyes of a child it has a lovely, safe, message about self-empowerment and a bright, shiny visual style that is impressively busy. If you can get over how simple the movie is and remember that it was made for children, you might be able to find a way to enjoy it more than I did.

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms stars Mackenzie Foy as Clara, one of three siblings, children of Mr. Stahlbaum (Matthew McFadyen) whose wife, and the children’s mother, has passed away not long ago. Nevertheless, the family is to attend the party of Clara’s Godfather, Mr Drosselmyer (Morgan Freeman) and attempt to put their grief aside. This won’t be easy as before they leave for the party, Mr Stahlbaum hands out Christmas presents from their late mother. 

For Clara, the gift is a complex mechanical egg with a keyhole but no key. There is a note with it that reads “All you need is inside” which makes it more frustrating that she does not have the key. Thankfully, at the party, Mr Drosselmyer reveals that he has the key and the key is waiting for Clara at the end of a string which leads her to a magical place called the Four Realms. The Four Realms are an entire fantasy land that her mother had built and populated with fascinating characters. 

Up first is a toy soldier who guards a bridge into the 4th Realm. He is the Nutcracker of the title, real name Phillip (Jayden Fowora-Knight). Phillip warns Clara not to go into the 4th realm because it is inhabited by the dangerous Mother Ginger (Helen Mirren) and her army of mice. Unfortunately, Mother Ginger’s mouse army has made off with Clara’s key and she needs to get it back to open the egg and unlock its secrets. 

Before Clara can try to get her key back she must first see the rest of the cast including the leaders of the realms including the leader of the Flower realm, Hawthorne (Eugenio Derbez) and the leader of the Ice Realm, Shiver (Richard E. Grant). And finally, there is the leader of the candy realm, known as Sugar Plum (Keira Knightley). Sugar Plum is the most outlandish of the group and begins to explain to Clara that her mother was their beloved Queen and how the realms are now at war with Mother Ginger because of the Queen’s absence. 

Sugar Plum lays out the plot, she too needs the key being held by Mother Ginger so that she can turn on the machine that can make toy soldiers that can then battle Mother Ginger’s mouse army. Eager to open the egg and get at the secret her mother left behind, Clara offers to take a contingent of Nutcrackers to the 4th Realm and go head to head with Mother Ginger. She will come back with the key or all will be lost. 

No points for guessing that Clara gets the key back. The plot requires that she open the egg and we find out what her mother’s cryptic message was about. You can probably guess, just as I did, rather easily, what is inside the egg that has all the answers. It’s a mirror of course, because everything Clara needs is inside herself. Get it? It really is as if the movie were good-naturedly elbowing you in the ribs to see if you understood this, not all that deep insight. 

Indeed, the filmmakers appear quite pleased with themselves for rehashing this old cliche. But, in fairness, it’s a cliche to us jaded adults who’ve seen this kind of empowerment cheese before. For kids, especially those seeing movies for the first time, this may indeed be a revelation and it is pitched in such a simple, easy to consume fashion that it may resonate with children in a powerful way. It was groan inducing for me and perhaps most adults but I get what the movie is going for here and I understand that it is not intended to impress ME. 

There is a harmless, charmingly disposable quality to The Nutcracker and the Four Realms. There is nothing terribly wrong with it as a movie for grade school audiences. It has a broad beauty to it in cinematography and design that children will find enchanting and the empowerment message is fine, not exactly subtle or well crafted, but it’s fine. The part of how Sugar Plum comes to represent the angry, childish aspect of Clara’s grief is, again, not subtle, rather over top, but I can see the message reaching a child and I can’t say that’s a bad thing. 

Do I wish that we would not condescend to children at the movies? Yes, I don’t believe movies have to be dumbed down to reach a young audience. The Toy Story movies are a great example of reaching children and asking them to rise up to meet the movie rather than talking down by assuming children don’t get complex relationships and metaphors. I would argue: how will a child ever fully grow up if we keep speaking down to them? 

That said, Nutcracker and the Four Realms is not the worst example of movies talking down to children. There is a strong attempt by the filmmakers to be on the level with children even as it is patently condescending in its simplicity. But, for the most part, The Nutcracker and the Four Realms is a harmless empowerment fantasy with a nice look to it and deeply committed performances from Helen Mirren and Keira Knightley. 

I don’t love this movie by any stretch and if you are not the parent of a very young child, I don’t recommend The Nutcracker and the Four Realms. That said, if you are the parent of a young child, grade school and younger, you could do far worse than having your child watch this movie.