Movie Review Ninja Assassin

Ninja Assassin (2009) 

Directed by James McTeigue

Written by J Michael Straczynski 

Starring Rain, Naomi Harris, Rick Yune

Release Date November 25th, 2009

Published November 25th, 2009

Rain is a Korean pop star with a massive worldwide following. His bio says that he has sold out Madison Square Garden and done sold out dates in Las Vegas. In 2007 Rain was named one of Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential people in the world. And through all of Rain's accolades I have remained completely oblivious to him.

Now, Rain has what I assume is his first starring role in an American feature film. In Ninja Assassin the back up dancer turned pop star turns action hero as an unstoppable ninja out for revenge against the clan that raised him.

As a very small child Raizo (Rain) was snatched from his birth parents and taken to a remote mountainside dojo. There, he was raised by Ozunu (Sho Kusugi) to become a Ninja Assassin. For the price of 100 pounds of gold the Ninja Assassin will kill anyone and anywhere. It's not long before Raizo shows himself to be Ozunu's top student.

Cut to Berlin where the death of an ex-KGB Agent has caught the eye of an Interpol Agent named Mika (Naomie Harris). Her investigation has lead to one conclusion, he was killed while investigating Ninjas. Naturally, her boss Maslow (Ben Miles) is more than a little skeptical of her findings.

Skepticism soons turns to belief after Mika is nearly killed by Ninjas. She was saved by Raizo who, having escaped from Ozunu's clan, has vowed to destroy his former brothers and his master.

That is a great deal more plot than anyone expected from Ninja Assassin. Don't worry, the blood soaked violence is not shoved aside for a lot of talky story stuff. Flesh is torn and blood and body parts are scattered all over the place. Trust me, if you're looking for gory sword slicing ultra-violence you will be quite satisfied with Ninja Assassin.

Director James McTeigue delivers a visceral, violent low brain, low budget gore fest that brims with hardcore violence and drips fake blood all over the place. All that is missing is digital 3D just so the audience could feel as if the blood splatter were coming right at them.

Is Ninja Assassin a great work of cinema? No, but for low budget blood and guts, Ninja Assassin offers a few thrills as a passable bit of grade Z movie making.

Movie Review Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End

Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End (2007) 

Directed by Gore Verbinski 

Written by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio 

Starring Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush, Naomie Harris, Chow Yun Fat, Bill Nighy

Release Date May 25th, 2007 

Published May 24th, 2007 

The first Pirates of the Caribbean looked at first blush like some Disney, corporate synergy deal. After all, we are talking about a real life theme park ride made into a movie. Thankfully, however, thanks to the brilliant, Oscar nominated performance of Johnny Depp and the lighthearted direction of Gore Verbinski, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl was a breath of fresh air in a sea of stale blockbusters.

The second Pirates movie, Dead Man's Chest, sadly suffered from sequelitis. Bloated to over 2 and a half hours, the film spun it\'s wheels far too often before its twist ending arrived to turn things around.

Now comes Pirates 3, At World's End which gives the series the kind of coda it deserves. Yes, it is nearly as bloated as the second film, but it is also has equal to, or even more thrills than the original and even more plot twists.

When last we saw Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) he was staring down the gullet of the Kraken, looking death in the eye and cackling like a mad man. Soon after his death his 'friends' Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), Will (Orlando Bloom) and the remaining crew of the Black Pearl realize they need Jack Sparrow back if they are going to fight the new alliance of Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) and the East India Trading Co. headed up by Lord Beckett.

With the aid of the sorceress Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), who raises Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) from the dead for extra help, they must sail to the world's end, to Davy Jones' locker to retrieve Jack. Once they have him they must convene the nine pirate lords and decide whether to run or to fight as one for the pirate way.

There are a dozen other minor subplots in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World\ 's End, not counting the number of twists and turns and shifting character allegiances that boggle the mind. If you have recently seen the second Pirates sequel, Dead Man\'s Chest, you might want to bring some cliff\'s notes on that film so you can follow some of the twists of At World\'s End.

On one hand, the script by Terry Rossio and  Ted Elliott, the writers of all three Pirates movies, has a great deal of depth and complexity. On the other hand the long bits of expository dialogue that attempt to explain the shifting sands of this plot can tend to bog down the movie, as they did to almost deathly effect in Dead Man's Chest.

Thankfully, Director Gore Verbinski rescues At World\'s End from ponderousness by delivering a quicker, funnier film with a strong visual sense and better, more spectacular special effects than anything in either of the first two films.

The centerpiece of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is a spectacular final battle scene set inside a swirling watery vortex. This scene features not merely a massive battle but also the tying of a few major plot strands, a couple of character twists and more than one major... well I\'ll leave you to see it for yourself. All spectacular stuff.

Even with the improved effects, more sure handed direction and all of those plot complications, Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow is once again the major draw of Pirates of the Caribbean. If you, like me, felt his Captain Jack was a little hemmed in by the plot in Dead Man's Chest, there is no such worry in At World's End. Captain Jack is now even crazier and more paranoid, even schizophrenic at times and it all works to grand comic effect.

Wait till you see Captain Jack's return to the screen in ATW. What a hoot. Trapped in purgatory aboard the Black Pearl in some desert oasis, Captain Jack goes all multiple personality and starts imagining hundreds of himself. Imagine a ship's crew worthy of Jack Sparrow's, full on Being John Malkovich, Charlie Kaufman style bizarre. Absolutely wonderful moment.

And I haven\'t even mentioned the crabs.

Not all is well in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I am sad to report, for you Chow Yun Fat fans, the great master of Asian rock'em sock'em cinema is underutilized in what really amounts to a cameo appearance, not what were promised from trailers and commercials which seemed to give him equal billing with the other supporting characters.

The only really great moments for Chow come in his introductory scene in a steam filled underground lair in Singapore. Facing off with Elizabeth and Captain Barbossa, with Will Turner trapped in a Han Solo moment, water tortured in a barrel, this is Pirates Return of the Jedi moment and Chow Yun Fat makes for an exceptional Jabba the Hut.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is a terrific coda for a series that began life as an ugly exercise in corporate synergy and morphed into a truly rollicking adventure series worthy of our exultation's, our huzzahs. Yo ho ho, indeed, this final Pirates film, until someone can convince Disney to spend the 200+ million necessary for another sequel, is a wonderful adventure, a high spirited comedy and most importantly, a grand stage for the great Johnny Depp.

As his Captain Jack slips into icon status, here\ 's hoping Mr. Depp is once again considered by the good people at Oscar. His At World\'s End performance is the most entertaining thing you\'ve seen on screen thus far in 2007 and likely will see all year.

Movie Review Rampage

Rampage (2018) 

Directed by Brad Peyton

Written by Carlton Cuse, Ryan Engle, Ryan J. Condal, Adam Sztykiel

Starring Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Malin Akerman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Naomie Harris 

Release Date April 13th, 2018 

Published April 12th, 2018 

Rampage stars Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson as Primatologist, Dr. Davis Okoye. A former military officer, Davis specialized in battling poachers in Africa. That’s where Davis met his best friend, George (Jason Liles, in full motion capture), a giant white ape. Davis brought George to America to keep him away from poachers who would pay a hefty price for such a rare creature. Over the years, George became a leader and he and Davis developed communication via sign language.

The plot kicks in when a plane carrying an experimental serum belonging to an evil corporation that specializes in… being evil, crashes, it exposes George and several other animals to the evil serum and causes them to grow out of control. Aside from George, the evil serum affects a wolf that develops the ability to fly and a crocodile that eventually swims across the country, even where there isn’t a large body of water, to enact destruction upon Chicago. 

The evil corporation, I assume, intends to weaponize the animals afflicted by the serum. When they turn on a beacon on top of their evil skyscraper it sends out a signal to the now monstrously over-sized animals that causes them to go crazy and make a mad dash for Chicago. Only Davis and a former scientist for the evil corporation, Dr. Kate Caldwell (Naomie Harris), can stop the animals from destroying Chicago… in a Rampage. Ha! 

Rampage sounds like a lot of fun, in description. Unfortunately, as directed by Brad Peyton, director of the equally forgettably competent, San Andreas, it’s merely a movie that exists. Rampage has no personality, no life, no charm. Everything in the movie is in frame, it looks professional and the CGI is well-produced. Competency however, is only part of a good movie and Rampage is missing those other essential qualities. 

Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is one of the most entertaining movie stars of recent times and yet even his charm can’t bring Rampage to life. Like his performance in the recent flop Skyscraper, The Rock’s performance is muted, he doesn’t go for the jokes and appears to be taking the silliness of Rampage far too seriously. There are too many scenes that appear to be going for action movie suspense when they should be going for the kind of goofball, comic thrills The Rock gets in his Fast and Furious franchise. 

Malin Akerman, Jake Lacy and Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who plays a wacky CIA Agent, on the other hand, as opposed to The Rock, appear to know what movie they are in. Though they don’t achieve much flying in the face of the overly serious direction and score, the three supporting players try hard to bring laughs to their roles. These three get that a movie with giant animals on a ‘Rampage’ in a big city is not something to be taken too seriously. 

Morgan is unquestionably the best thing about Rampage, aside from the terrific creature effects. Morgan is grinning and giggling throughout Rampage and affects a bizarre drawl that is laughably over the top. Morgan’s looseness and giant grin are a clear port in a storm of boring exposition and tepid, acceptably well produced action. It’s a wonder Morgan isn’t a bigger star, he’s got personality to spare and as seen in Rampage, he can steal scenes from both The Rock and giant CGI animals. 

The biggest problem with Rampage is an approach that takes the material way too seriously. I get that giant animals attacking a large city would be something we would have to take seriously were it to ever happen but let’s be real here. This is a silly premise that needs to be treated as such for the movie to work. The supporting players get that and act accordingly comic, with Akerman twirling an absent mustache and Lacy being slimy and weaselly and Morgan making a joke of the whole thing. 

Sadly, The Rock, the most charismatic star in the world today, fails to get the joke of Rampage and in the star missing the joke, the movie fails. Director Brad Peyton especially needed to get the joke of Rampage and he completely misses the boat by going for genuine action movie suspense rather than amping up the goofiness ala The Fast and Furious franchise or the recent Jurassic World movies. That kind of approach could have made Rampage a classic. As it is, I don’t even recommend it as a time wasting rental.

Movie Review: 28 Days Later

28 Days Later (2003) 

Directed by Danny Boyle

Written by Alex Garland 

Starring Cillian Murphy, Noah Huntley, Naomie Harris, Brendan Gleeson, Christopher Eccleston

Release Date June 27th, 2003 

Published June 27th, 2003

While the masses seek out mindless entertainment in Charlie’s Angels amongst others, real film fans have been anticipating the release of this much buzzed about British horror film that portends the end of the world. Oh yeah and it's got zombies. 28 Days Later, the newest work from Trainspotting auteur Danny Boyle, was actually released some 6 months ago worldwide. Only now reaching the States, it has not lost anything of the buzz and in fact, it's one of the rare films that surpass the buzz to become something even more than expected.

In a scenario that will have Republicans smiling, a group of animal activists break into a research facility and release a group of monkeys who they believe are being abused. Unfortunately, the monkeys happen to be infected with a disease that the doctors call the rage virus. The infection is passed by blood and when the monkey bites a human, it takes little more than 30 seconds before that person becomes a mindless flesh-eating zombie. The zombies can be killed like any normal human being but they are also excessively quick and strong.

Within 28 days, the virus has spread throughout the whole of Britain. Only a few lucky people remain uninfected. One of the uninfected is Jim (Cillian Murphy) who has just awakened from a coma to find the hospital entirely empty. He then finds the neighborhood around the hospital empty, then finally all of London. That is until he stumbles into a church filled with zombies.

Jim escapes with the aid of a pair of survivors, Mark (Noah Huntley) and Selena (Naomie Harris). They give Jim the 411 on what has happened since his coma and then accompany Jim to his parents home where he finds his parents dead. It's not long before the zombies arrive there and Mark is killed by Selena after he is bitten. As she has explained to Jim, if someone is infected you have only seconds to kill them before they turn. She won't hesitate to kill Jim if the same happens to him.

The two then venture out to find new shelter and stumble upon a father and daughter (Brenden Gleeson and Megan Burns) who are hiding out in what remains of their apartment building. Though they have had little to no interaction with the outside world, they have heard what they believe is a recorded message on the radio about some military officers who may have a cure for the virus. Whether that is true or not, the soldiers at least offer protection from the zombies and that is good enough to get them on the road. Once arriving at the military base, they find a ramshackle crew who is no more well prepared than they are.

It's best to stop there because to give away too much would ruin what is a terrifying, brilliant story. The conceit is a frightening one, a virus that could wipe out a large group of people in a short amount of time is a concern right out of our Homeland Security department. In the time of Anthrax and Monkeypox, the story put forth in 28 Days Later is more immediate and frightening. Though the zombie thing gives the film a far-fetched feeling, the reality comes in Boyle's camerawork that has a mind’s eye feeling to it. It's  very unsettling the way Boyle's camera becomes like a dream from your own mind.

28 Days Later is the rare horror film with actual horror in it. There is very little of the camp that marks most modern horror films. There is wit to it, a welcome black humor amidst a sea of jarring horror imagery. Boyle never allows the film to rollover into parody even in it's odd Lord Of the Flies style climax in the military base.

The buzz that accompanied 28 Days Later is well deserved, it's an art house horror film that has real scares and real behind the scenes talent in director Danny Boyle. I wasn't a big fan of Boyle's previous work, but 28 Days Later has me seeking out his other films for re-evaluation of what looks to a great director for years to come.

Movie Review: After the Sunset

After the Sunset (2004) 

Directed by Brett Ratner 

Written by Paul Zbyszewski, Craig Rosenberg 

Starring Pierce Brosnan, Salma Hayek, Woody Harrelson, Don Cheadle, Naomie Harris

Release Date November 12th, 2004 

Published November 11th, 2004 

Director Brett Ratner has a flair for escapist action junk.  He is the man behind the Rush Hour series. His latest escapist mainstream popcorn fare is After The Sunset, a heist comedy that is lacking a good heist and some comedy but does feature a supremely hot Salma Hayek in various stages of undress. Sometimes even bad movies have a bright side.

Pierce Brosnan stars as Max, a master thief with a particular affinity for the very rare Napoleon diamonds. What he seems to enjoy even more than the diamonds however is humiliating FBI agent Stan Lloyd, (Woody Harrelson) who is guarding the diamonds and who was held responsible when Max lifted the first one. As the story requires, Max once again humiliates Stan in a convoluted little plot with remote control cars, cat and mouse antics at a basketball game, and finally a gunshot wound for Max, though nothing serious enough to keep him from the diamond. 

The heist would not be possible without Max's better half Lola (Hayek) who runs important interference on the heist and even gets to wear a neat costume. It is Lola who decides that they are now retired and she who chooses their retirement home on a gorgeous unnamed Caribbean tourist trap island. She's happy but Max is miserable with no loot to steal and no agent Lloyd to mess with.  He is bored stiff.

Then out of the blue pops agent Lloyd and a cruise ship that just happens to be carrying the third Napoleon diamond, the only one Max hasn't stolen....allegedly. Can Max resist the temptation of the complicated and once again convoluted and over-wrought pilfering opportunity and another chance to show up Stan or will he follow Lola's admonition that they are retired and it's not worth the risk. Whether he steals the diamond or not he is guaranteed to be involved because of a local gangster (Don Cheadle) who threatens to kill him if he won't help lift the diamond.

Pierce Brosnan is trying hard to settle into post-Bond  life, though he still has one more Bond yet to come. Sadly Brosnan once again misfires on his image makeover. Brosnan is a stiff and casting him as a colorful thief in colorful surroundings only serves to show off his weakest qualities. He's charming and handsome and so very, very boring when compared to his co-stars and even the sunrise of the title is far more interesting than anything Brosnan brings to this film.

If they really wanted to have some fun with After The Sunset they should have switched a few of the roles around. Have Cheadle play the thief, Harrelson the American gangster running the island and Brosnan the straight-laced FBI guy. That at least would give Don Cheadle something more to do than just show up when the plot needs him to look mean. For some reason I can really imagine him sparking with Salma Hayek as well, something Brosnan fails at miserably.

For his part Director Brett Ratner is his calculated mainstream self. Always well aware of what test audiences are looking for, Ratner ratchets up the formula story, the recognizable faces and the entirely "lowest common denominator" plot that only few will find complicated or surprising. I will say this for Ratner, his camera loves Salma Hayek and finds new and wonderful ways of capturing her magnificent form.

As the plot clicks away through poorly executed buddy humor and lazy action setups with little if any payoff the one thing that is clear about the making of After The Sunset is that everyone on the crew must have gotten a nice tan and plenty of umbrella drinks. Otherwise there isn't much reason for this film to exist at all. This is a vacation for all involved, a chance to go to paradise on a studio dime. Can't say I blame them for living it up but would it have killed them to make a halfway decent film while they were sunning themselves?

Movie Review Miami Vice

Miami Vice (2006) 

Directed by Michael Mann 

Written by Michael Mann 

Starring Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx, Gong Li, Naomi Harris, Ciaran Hinds, Justin Theroux

Release Date July 28th, 2006 

Published July 27th, 2006 

Miami Vice the movie bares little resemblance to Miami Vice the TV show. Gone are the warm pastel colors, the linen suits and the alligators kept as pets. The trivial elements of the TV show are gone, replaced by a gritty sense of reality. Director Michael Mann, who created the TV show back in 1984, has eliminated the cheese factor of the TV show but in doing so also jettisoned the shows sense of humor and fun in favor of a grim belabored police procedural that is so consumed with presenting a realistic portrayal of the inner workings of being an undercover cop that it forgets to be entertaining.

Not that Miami Vice is a bad movie, hardly. In typically Michael Mann fashion, Miami Vice is sexy and violent with an air of undeniable cool.

Sonny Crocket (Colin Farrell) and Ricardo Tubbs (Jamie Foxx) are partners who, when we meet them, are about to take down a prostitution ring. Before the bust can go down however, Crockett gets a call from a frantic former informant, Alonzo (John Hawkes), who babbles about not having given up Crockett and Tubbs. Having given Alonzo to the feds, Crockett and Tubbs know that something bad is about to go down.

A group of white supremacists, cutting deals with Colombian drug lords, used Alonzo to ferret out FBI undercover agents and have killed them. Now only Crockett and Tubbs can go undercover and take down the supremacists and the Colombians headed up by Jose Yero (John Ortiz) and his partner Isabella (Gong Li). They work for another man, an untouchable named Arcangel (Luis Tosar). The game Crockett and Tubbs run involves inserting themselves into the transportation operations of the Colombians using high speed boats and planes.

The plot of Miami Vice is typical cops and criminals stuff that many other directors have presented before. Mann's only real twist on it is in indulging his love of the procedure of being an undercover cop. Mann loves the planning that goes into an undercover operation, he loves the execution and conclusion. Unfortunately his love only extends to a mere presentation of the facts of procedure. He fails to make these procedures come to life in an engaging and entertaining way.

Miami Vice is as slick and stylish as the TV series ever was. The difference comes in the general tone which is not merely serious but rather angry. Farrell and Foxx play Crockett and Tubbs as scowling, grim faced thugs with zero humor who only become human when they are bedding beautiful woman, Farrell bedding down the lovely Gong Li in a passion free subplot and Foxx in a simmering scene with a fellow undercover officer played by Naomie Harris.

Colin Farrell continues his war with stardom in Miami Vice by delivering yet another glum charisma free performance. Like his Alexander The Great, Farrell's Sonny Crockett is a mumble mouthed downer who barely sparks to life even when bedding a beautiful woman. His intensity does pick up near the end during a climactic gun battle but for most of the film Farrell is pissed off at some point in the distance that he keeps staring at.

Oscar winner Jamie Foxx deserves better than a role that has him playing second fiddle to Farrell. Where Farrell is mumbling and charisma free, Foxx gives a charge to his few featured scenes. There is simply no explanation why Michael Mann gives most of the movie away to Farrell while keeping the multiple Oscar nominee Foxx in the background. More Foxx, less Farrell, better movie.

One of the few things that Mann's Miami Vice movie excels in is hot transportation. The boat, the Donzi triple engine ZF -one of two different boats used in the film- is pure speed on water. The plane, the Adam A500 twin engine, is state of the art with props on the front and back for speed and maneuverability. And, of course the cars are hot and make you wonder just how police departments are spending your tax dollars. The Bentley that gets blown to smithereens certainly would set the average undercover unit back a pretty penny

Regardless of the many problems with Miami Vice there is still much to enjoy about the film. Michael Mann's direction is typically assured and his violence is first rate. Watch for a standoff scene between the Vice squad and some trailer dwelling white supremacists. Actress Elizabeth Rodriguez stars in this scene delivering a very quick, very powerful monologue before dispatching the scene with a violent flourish.

For Michael Mann violence is like a symphony building to grand awesome crescendos. From the street gun battle in Heat to Tom Cruise's charging nightclub chase in Collateral to the final gun battle in Miami Vice, Michael Mann proves himself a master conductor of screen violence. The action in Miami Vice is quick and visceral like a concerto at 33 rpm's. The blood that is spilled is spilled quickly and splatters with the explosive power of real bullets.

The look of Miami Vice, grainy, gritty digital video, bathes the picture in a documentary realism that is at odds with the mundane presentation of the plot. Michael Mann's obsession with the behind the scenes of an undercover cop plot never really gets any entertaining momentum. When Farrell, Foxx and their team are planning the next phase of their operation the film lapses into serious tedium that lasts even as they begin to get into the action where Mann excels.

Deeply flawed as an entertaining action movie, Miami Vice is undeniably artful and even at times very cool. With a more charismatic lead performance, a little more Jamie Foxx, and a little less of the inside baseball on being an undercover cop, Miami Vice could have been quite an awesome picture. As it is I recommend it for fans of Michael Mann, women who love to ogle Colin Farrell, and fans of screen violence.

For everyone else Miami Vice is just another TV spinoff.