Movie Review The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things

Movie Review The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things (2006) 

Directed by Asia Argento 

Written by Asia Argento, Alessandro Magania 

Starring Asia Argento, Jimmy Bennett, Cole Sprouse, Dylan Sprouse, Marilyn Manson, 

Release Date March 10th, 2006

Published July 17th, 2006 

We have seen manic moms portrayed on the big screen before. Most often they are wild eccentrics who try harder to be their child's pal instead of their parent. They are loving but scattered mom's who are often as childish as their kids.

The mother played by Asia Argento in The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things is no loving eccentric. After retrieving her seven year old son from a loving foster home this manic depressive, drug and alcohol addicted sex worker proceeds to drag the kid through some of the worst experiences that the modern American underbelly has to offer.

At the age of seven Jeremiah, played by Jimmy Bennett, finds himself forced from the only home he has ever known. The mother who abandoned him as a baby has somehow procured custody of him and is determined to play mommy.

Over the course of a few years Jeremiah is subjected to numerous abuses, is forced to witness mom turning tricks, often just a few feet where he cowers in fear. His mother gives him drugs and alcohol and allows some of her men to abuse him the way they abuse her.

Then she's gone again and Jeremiah is left with her most recent 'new daddy'. This didn't last long as the new daddy really wasn't interested in raising a kid. So, after being sexually abused, Jeremiah somehow finds himself in the Christian fundamentalist home of his grandparents played by Peter Fonda and Ornelia Muti. They are strict, even vicious about their Christianity but anything is preferable to life on the streets.

Cut to three years later and Jeremiah, now played by twins Cole and Dylan Sprouse, is an 11 year old street corner preacher when mommy returns and wants him back. This leads to further horrors physical and sexual abuse, drugs, alcohol and a near death experience.

Asia Argento who plays mom in the film also directed The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things. Her direction is relentless and at times arresting. However, as I'm sure you have culled from my description, the film is all dark with no light. I have no idea what to take away from this picture but utter despair.

It is undeniably brave to present a story as bleak and heart-rending as this and to not dose it with irony or even a hint of goodness. The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things challenges its audience to look away. Look away from the constant horror that is this child's life. Turn, if you can, a blind eye to the fact that there are children out there living this life.

Just last week in the tiny town of Spencer Iowa a woman left her five year old son in the car while she was inside a bar getting drunk and stripping on a table top. The incident would have gone unnoticed if the mother had not gotten herself arrested. This scene is played out in The Heart Is Deceitful Above All Things except there is no police interference. Young Jeremiah witnessed the alternate reality of that Spencer, Iowa scene.

The ending of the film is bitter, sad and open ended. Young Jeremiah's life remains in the horrifying orbit of his mothers disease. A disturbing end for a thoroughly disturbing film.

Movie Review Hostel

Hostel (2006) 

Directed by Eli Roth 

Written by Eli Roth 

Starring Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson, Rick Hoffman

Release Date January 6th, 2006 

Published January 6th, 2006 

Filmmakers have a very interesting mental link between sex and violence. Because both are really the last societal taboos, certain forms of each are in violation of all social graces, they can be exploited in order to shock and titillate audiences. Movies as varied as the brilliant A History Violence and the abysmal Devil's Rejects have drawn sex and violence together as if the two things were inextricably linked.

Eli Roth, the director of the horror flick Hostel, is a true believer in the link between sex and violence. Hostel puts the two subjects in direct relation as college-aged protagonists seek cheap, meaningless sex on a trip through Europe and end up paying dearly for it in the typically mindless, blood-soaked fashion of modern exploitation flicks.

Paxton (Jay Hernandez) and Josh (Derek Richardson) are fresh out of college and ready to party. They have traveled to the modern day Sodom that is Amsterdam in search of the holy grail of twenty-something morons: loose woman and legal hash. Paxton is the more indulgent and headstrong of the two, partaking in both the willing bar girls and the pay-for-play gals lining the streets in lighted window displays. Josh, on the other hand, is slightly more reserved and even a little put off by the sex on sale.

Once Paxton and a fellow traveler, Oli (Eythor Gudjonsson), who the guys hook up with along the way, have exhausted the local talent, they come across a German teen who has the inside scoop on the best looking and loosest women in all of Europe. There is, the teen claims, a youth hostel that is on no map, and where the local women are dying to sleep with any foreigners. All the boys have to do is hop a train to scenic Bratislava.

A lengthy train trip later; the three friends have found the mythic hostel. The story is true: naked flesh is easy to come by and the naked women are easier than ever imagined. The fun, however, does not last long. After an epic night of debauchery, that even Josh partakes in, Oli disappears with a young Japanese girl. Soon Josh too has disappeared, and Paxton seeks out their new female companions to find out what happened to his pals.

He is told that both guys are at an art show, and, in standard Eastern European fashion, the supposed "art show" is housed in a slaughterhouse. Of course, by now we in the audience are well aware that the art show is actually a brutal torture chamber where hostel stayers are kidnapped and killed in the most horrifying ways imaginable.

Director Eli Roth showed an interesting level of originality in his first feature, 2003's Cabin Fever. That film was a skin-crawling genre exercise that twisted expectations by not focusing on a human killer but a timely viral killer. That film was not all that visually accomplished, partly because of its low budget, and neither is Hostel. The films share a low budget aesthetic, but Hostel, with a slightly higher budget and the imprimatur of Quentin Tarantino, makes it fair to wonder when Roth will finally show a talent for crafting visuals that don't rely on special effects splatter.

Of the many attempts at scary visuals, only a scene where a character has his kneecaps drilled and his Achilles heel sliced comes across as shocking. A later, gorier scene in which a woman's eyeball dangles precariously from its socket is truly underwhelming as both an effect and makeup. Poorly executed special effects aside, Roth lacks the necessary skill to negate his low budget with story tension.

Jay Hernandez, so impressive in the 2001 teen romance Crazy/Beautiful, fails to make a compelling lead in Hostel. His boorish American tourist bit is believable but not all that enjoyable or relatable. Co-star Derek Richardson's own wet blanket character is even less impressive, and thus no help to Hernandez. Only Icelandic actor Gudjonsson manages to be entertaining, but he is quickly dispatched. His charming comic presence is missed once he's gone.

Hostel has the hallmarks of the exploitation genre down cold. Buckets of blood are spilled, copious amounts of naked female flesh are displayed; all of the basic horror elements that had once held the genre in the movie ghetto of late night pay cable and direct to video land are featured in Hostel. Something about all that nudity in Hostel, combined with the lack of even one strong female character in Hostel, leads me to wonder whether Eli Roth has a problem with women. 

Hostel is not merely misogynist, the film demonstrates a direct loathing and objectification of women. The women of Hostel  exist to remove their clothing and die horribly. Whether this is a symptom of Roth's inability to write for women, a similar lack of compelling female characters plagued Cabin Fever, or he really does dislike women is up for debate.

Roth apparently enjoys the company of Quentin Tarantino and yet he seems to have never seen Kill Bill, which provided more than a few examples of how to write convincing, compelling female characters. Then again, writing is not Roth's strong suit anyway. On more than one occasion Roth comes within a few lines of something interesting and walks away to throw more blood and gore at the screen.

Hostel comes close to a clever parody of the current anti-American attitudes so pervasive in Europe where American travelers are encouraged to claim Canadian citizenship to avoid a hassle. Sadly Hostel comes to the precipice of joking about this timely subject but then travels the easier path to exploitation success, more naked flesh and piles of human remains.

There is also, I believe, an unintentional undercurrent of puritanical feelings bubbling beneath the surface of Hostel. The way in which sin and vice lead almost directly to death in Hostel is rather Old Testament. Hostel shares this sex-death link with classic horror movies like A Nightmare On Elm Street and Friday The 13th, but oddly no horror film director has had the nerve to explore this vengeful god scenario in an intellectually satisfying way.

Eli Roth may have earned the appreciation of a true genius in Quentin Tarantino, but there is no evidence in Hostel that Roth actually learned anything from his new mentor. Where Tarantino crafts artful visuals from the lowest of genres, Roth can barely craft a solid scare. That is not to say that Roth won't develop into a good director someday, but for now his work is merely terribly overrated.

For lovers of the exploitation genre, (what writer David Poland has cleverly dubbed the "horror porn" genre, including recent films like Devil's Rejects, High Tension and Wolf Creek) Hostel will be a huge hit. But for fans of well made movies, Hostel is yet another waste of screen space. 

Movie Review Piranha 3D

Piranha 3D (2010) 

Directed by Alexandre Aja 

Written by Peter Goldfinger, Josh Stolberg 

Starring Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Adam Scott, Jessica Szohr, Jerry O'Connell 

Release Date August 20th, 2010 

Published August 20th, 2010 

I don't understand the appeal of a 3D penis destroyed by flesh chomping fish. Call me a buzzkill if you wish but I cannot understand why this is funny. As for it being frightening, it's certainly frighteningly poor taste but not frightening as presented in “Piranha 3D” which is, I'm assuming, supposed to be some kind of comic send up.

I assume this is comedy because the audience I watched it with were laughing far more than they were covering their eyes or ducking their heads to the shoulder of their dates. This audience cackled at the penis eating scene and roared approval during the underwater, nude, lesbian synchronized swimming scene. They roared again during the centerpiece gore-athon in the lake when the Piranha's swarmed the spring breakers leaving behind boney carcasses. I was left perplexed and a little depressed.

A lake that is home to a Sodom and Gomorrah of Spring Break debauchery is hit with a massive earthquake just before the partygoers arrive. The quake opens a crevasse that had been sealed for millions of years. Inside is a fully evolved and deadly species of Piranha seeking to quench a million years worth of bloodlust.

On land Sheriff Julie Forrester (Elisabeth Shue) and her top deputy Fallon (Ving Rhames) are readying for the arrival of drunken revelers when they get a call about a missing fisherman (Richard Dreyfuss). As we have seen in the film's opening minutes, the fisherman was the first victim of the piranhas and when the cops find him well, they catch on quicker than your usual movie cops.

Opting to try and close the lake, they also call in a team of scientists lead by Novak (Adam Scott). The scientists are the ones who find the piranhas, but not before two of them are turned into piranha food. The closing of the lake meanwhile isn't happening as the tiny police force are no match for the drunken partiers about to become Piranha meat.

Meanwhile, Sheriff Julie's son Jake (Steven R. McQueen) takes a job as an assistant to Derrick Jones (Jerry O'Connell) the creator of Wild Wild Girls. Derrick plans on filming girls taking their tops off and even tries to recruit Jake's crush Kelly (Jessica Szohr) to star alongside his protégé Danni (Kelly Brook) in his latest video, much to Jake's consternation. Naturally, all will end up face to face with piranhas, who survives and who has their penis torn off I will leave you to discover.

It's supposed to be camp right? Kitschy, over the top, Herschel Gordon Lewis, Roger Corman stuff right? I get that, I do. But, as directed by Alexandre Aja with a surprising amount of skill and directorial touch, I found “Piranha 3D” more in poor taste than campy and fun. I know, it's supposed to be in poor taste and I understand that appeals to some but I have a hard time enjoying this type of bad taste.

There is something nihilistic about the approach to the gore of “Piranha 3D.” Directors like Alexandre Aja and his protégé Eli Roth, who has a cameo in “Piranha 3D” as a wet T-shirt contest host, enjoy their violence and gore so much that the humans lose their value. Aja has the wrong kind of rooting interest at heart in each of his films. Rather than placing a good person in peril and asking the audience to root for their survival, Aja crafts awful human beings for the purpose of watching them be comically destroyed. It's ugly and brutal and I fear for those who find this kind of thing appeal. 

This is an ugly, inhuman perspective that I find impossible to get behind. I find the approach depressing and the enjoyment that so many seem to take in the destruction of their fellow man, no matter how fake or outsized it may be, just makes me sad. Say what you will about the quality of movies like “Halloween” or the original “Nightmare on Elm Street,” the characters mattered in each of those films, especially those played by Jamie Lee Curtis and Heather Langenkamp who always had our sympathies and were held above the evil they faced. 

When those films became hits and “Friday the 13th” started showing off Jason, things began to turn. When Freddy, Michael Myers and Jason became the stars, horror began to change and the rooting interests turned ugly. That leads us to where we are today with people cheering for human suffering, rooting for the gore and delighting in the degradation.

Yes, it's just an over the top horror film. Yes, it's not at all realistic. If that’s enough excuse for you to delight in watching people shredded limb from limb then enjoy. Just don’t ask me to join you. I’m going to find a movie where characters are held above their use as gory props and sex toys. By the way, if this is your kind of movie, I don’t think you and I should hang out. Just saying.

Movie Review: Halloween Resurrection

Halloween Resurrection (2002) 

Directed by Rick Rosenthal 

Written by Sean Hood, Larry Brand 

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Busta Rhymes, Tyra Banks, Sean Patrick Thomas, Thomas Ian Nicholas 

Release Date July 12th, 2002 

Published July 12th, 2002 

Earlier this year horror fans were pummeled by the horrendous Jason X, the 10th film in the Friday the 13th franchise. Now another horror franchise returns to the big screen, the 8th installment of the Michael Myers lead Halloween franchise. Halloween Resurrection is everything Jason X wasn't, funny, exciting and hopelessly inept…in a good way.

Rapper Busta Rhymes is perfectly cast as Freddie, a fast talking Internet producer who on Halloween arranges a webcast from the home of legendary mass murderer Michael Myers. The reality show webcast features cute college kids attempting to survive a night in the house where Myers' killing spree began over 30 years ago. Amongst our group of Internet victims are a couple of familiar faces, Sean Patrick Thomas from Save The Last Dance and Thomas Ian Nicholas from the American Pie movies. 

The casting of these two semi well-known actors, rising stars, is exactly what might have spiced up Jason X instead of the community theatre troupe they went with. Also in the cast of Halloween Resurrection is a girl named Sara played by Bianca Kajtich. Sara is our heroine, the one with the most screen time, and the one most likely to return for the next sequel. The film also features the return of Jamie Lee Curtis in what looks to be her final installment of the series her lungs made famous.

This film is the exact opposite of Jason X, it's exciting and funny-ironic without trying to be clever. There is no winking at the audience, no “look how self aware we are.” Just straight ahead classic gore. Michael Myers is in fine form cutting off heads, nailing people to walls, and murdering the overly sexed. For a serial killer, he's quite a prude. The film is at times outright hysterical; Busta Rhymes especially tears into his role with multiple well-timed one-liners, and not to mention his karate skills.

I admit I have a twisted sense of humor. Watching someone stuck to a wall by a pair of kitchen knives, or watching a girl's head roll down steps like some messed up slinky makes me laugh. It's funny because it's cartoonishly surreal, much like the Itchy and Scratchy cartoons on The Simpsons. Director Rick Rosenthal, who also directed the first Halloween sequel, knows he's not filming Shakespeare. His special effects and makeup are cheesy and he doesn't care. If the effects weren't cheesy and he tried to make it more realistic, the film wouldn't work.

It's interesting that this film opens the same weekend as Road To Perdition. The two films have nothing in common but are a counterpoint to each other. Perdition portrays realistic violence with consequence. Resurrection portrays obviously fake violence to shock and desensitize the audience and does so effectively. Violence in Halloween is of no consequence, thus realism never enters into the equation.

The fact of the matter is that Halloween Resurrection, much like it's predecessor H20, is an exciting, funny, campy riot that’s definitely worth the price of admission. 

Movie Review: Transporter 2

Transporter 2 (2005) 

Directed by Louis Letterier

Written by Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen 

Starring Jason Statham, Amber Valletta, Keith David, Matthew Modine, Jason Flemying 

Release Date September 2nd, 2005 

Published September 2nd, 2005 

The first Transporter movie was a rather innocuous exercise in combining American style action movies with Asian style violence and European locales. Memorable only for its rising star Jason Statham, The Transporter made little box office noise before being shuffled off to DVD. It is in this fast growing market that a small cult formed. For some reason people started buying the DVD and an underground of Frank Martin fans managed to turn the DVD into a big enough hit that a sequel was necessary. Four years after the original made its minor box office impact, Transporter 2 hits the screen with a fury that box office hits are made of.

Jason Statham returns as Frank Martin, a character he created for a stylish car commercial some four years ago. That lead to The Transporter in which ace getaway driver Frank Martin is hired to deliver a package that he finds out is actually a human being, a really sexy Asian woman to be precise. Violating his rules of non-involvement in his clients' business Frank set about releasing the girl and protecting her from his thug clients.

Four years later, the sexy Asian woman is a memory as is Frank's dangerous past. Now living in Florida, Frank has taken a gig as driver and bodyguard for the 8 year old son of a high profile government executive named Billings (Matthew Modine). Frank was hired at the behest of Mrs. Billings (Amber Valleta) who was concerned that her son might be the target of kidnappers because of her husband's high profile job.

Oh how right she was. On a routine trip to a doctor's office Frank and the boy are attacked by a group of thugs lead by the super sexy and psychotic Lola (model, Kate Nauta). After a massive action sequence culminating as they often do in this film with a giant fireball, the boy is eventually taken and only Frank Martin can save him.

The plot is far more complicated then that however.  Eventually it involves a hired hitman played by Alessandro Gassman, and a deadly virus spread through breathing that has only a limited amount of antidote. The plot is dopey and convoluted but who cares.  The action surrounding the goofy plot is what makes Transporter 2 the kind of enjoyable action junk not seen since the heyday of Jean Claude Van Damme.

Jason Statham, auditioning for the James Bond gig, has his stone-faced intensity and agile fighting stance in full effect in Transporter 2. Even in the film's most outrageous contrivances Statham's taciturn charisma and dangerous demeanor draws you in and helps you forget about the number of times he outruns giant, physics defying fireballs and survives ridiculous explosions, car wrecks and a plane crash.

Even more durable than Statham is his 2006 Lexus which is scratch proof, bullet proof and nearly bomb proof. The driving stunts are, as they were in the first film, exciting and well executed but really nothing more than a commercial for the car itself. In fairness, it's a gorgeous vehicle and the makers of Transporter 2 do a wonderful job of showing it off. It's basically Statham's top supporting cast member and as silly as that sounds, it works for this ultimately silly action movie. 

Director Louis Leterrier is no stranger to popcorn action junk. Earlier this year he delivered the awesomely entertaining actioner Unleashed with Jet Li. In Transporter 2 he brings that same sense of action and fun. Fight scenes choreographed by Cory Yuen, who performed the same task in the first film, have the feel of Jackie Chan's comedic approach to combat, combined with Jet Li's power. Watch out for a scene in which Frank employs a fire hose ala Jackie Chan and an awesomely coordinated scene with a pair of handcuffs similar to a scene in Jet Li's The One.

That is not to say that Transporter 2 is derivative but that it's a movie with keen awareness of its influences. Leterrier, a French Director and protégée of Luc Besson (who wrote both Transporter films), is developing a reputation for his love for and emulation of Asian style action and acrobatics. His love for this material showed greatly in Unleashed and continues remarkably well here.

Another well-acknowledged influence is American style action junk ala Van Damme or Seagal. Transporter 2 lifts heavily from the conventions and clichés of 80's and 90's action movies but with a slightly more stylish execution and a sly knowing wink to break the spell of earnestness that makes so many of those oh-so -serious action vehicles so campy in retrospect.

Transporter 2 is just wall to wall goofiness grounded, somewhat, by the sly but serious performance of star Jason Statham. Regardless of how outlandish the film's stunts and plot are you cannot help but enjoy watching Statham walk through it all with stoic dignity. This is the kind of movie star presence that made Mel Gibson a superstar in Lethal Weapon or at the very least made Steven Seagal a lot of money in a short period of time.

Whether this will be enough to land Statham his dream role as 007 is questionable but the producers would be smart to take a long look at both Statham and director Louis Leterrier, both of whom could bring some lively action to the moribund spy series.

Movie Review: The Spy Next Door

The Spy Next Door (2010) 

Directed by Brian Levant 

Written by Jonathan Bernstein, James Greer, Gregory Poirier 

Starring Jackie Chan, Amber Valletta, Madeline Carroll, George Lopez

Release Date January 15th, 2010 

Published January 14th, 2010 

It is far too easy to rip a movie like The Spy Next Door. The plot is dimwitted and derivative, star Jackie Chan has far too little mastery of the English language to be given this many lines, and the supporting cast is a minefield of overacting and over-arching cuteness. Way too easy. The harder thing to do is admit that despite all the garbage in The Spy Next Door, there are a few modest pleasures and even a couple of smiles to be had.

The Spy Next Door is an accidental re-imagining of Vin Diesel's Disney flick The Pacifier. Take the world's greatest super-spy and leave him in charge of some precocious pre-teens and wait for wacky stuff to happen. The only difference is where Diesel seems terribly uncomfortable; Jackie Chan seems right at home playing with the kids.

Chan is secret agent Bob Ho, a spy on loan to the CIA from Chinese Intelligence. Bob is tracking a Russian bad guy named Poldark (Magnus Scheving) and his evil gal Friday, Creel (Katherine Boecher) as they seek to destroy the world supply of oil. Helping Bob are a pair of CIA agents, Glaze (George Lopez) and Colton (Billy Ray Cyrus).

Meanwhile, Bob is looking to wrap up his spy career so that he can marry his next door neighbor Gillian (Amber Valletta) who does not know that Bob is really a spy. Even bigger than that obstacle however is getting in good with Gillian's three kids. Farren (Madeline Carroll) is a severely moody oldest daughter who nastily calls her mom Gillian. Ian (Will Shadley) is the middle child and a power nerd who, though only 9, reads physics for fun. And finally 4 year Nora (Alina Foley) who is convinced that Bob is what Ian calls a ‘cyborg.’ Together the siblings look to get rid of boring Bob before he can marry mommy.

Yes, the plot is exceedingly dopey and condescendingly simple. But, you know that when you buy the ticket. Given that knowledge going in makes it easier to appreciate the few charms that The Spy Next Door has. Jackie Chan is now 50 years old and years of daring stunt work have taken their toll. Nevertheless, Chan gives it a go in The Spy Next Door and his brand of martial arts crossed with Buster Keaton style slapstick hasn't been this much fun in a while.

The kids in kid’s movies can be terribly irritating, either too precious or too grating. They are at times both in The Spy Next Door. That said each of the child actors has a good moment or two, especially young Alina Foley. It's cheating to have a sweet little four year old whisper 'I love you bob' as he sings her to sleep with a Chinese lullaby, but it's hard to deny how cute the scene is.

The Spy Next Door is not 'cinema.' This is not a great movie but it never pretends to be. The Spy Next Door is briskly paced, breezy, goofy and, best of all, over before you really tire of its idiot plot. By the lowered standards of kid’s entertainment this qualifies as something I can recommend. Kids won't be harmed by it and mom and dad may actually stay awake during most of it. What more can you ask of low rent kids entertainment. 


Movie Review Grandma's Boy

Grandma's Boy (2006) 

Directed by Nicolaus Goosan 

Written by Barry Wernick, Alan Covert, Nick Swardson

Starring Alan Covert, Linda Cardelini, Kevin Nealon, Shirley Knight, Shirley Jones, Doris Roberts 

Release Date January 6th, 2006

Published January 6th, 2006 

Just how powerful is Adam Sandler in Hollywood? Apparently, in the wake of the release of the comedy Grandma's Boy, he can pick guys off the street and by attaching his name to them, get them on the big screen behind and in front of the camera.. The new stoner comedy Grandma's Boy is directed by former Adam Sandler gofer--okay, "production assistant"--Nicholaus Goosan and stars Sandler's entourage of worshipful friends, led by the charisma vacuum, Alan Covert. Grandma’s Boy  is a stunning example of both the continuing devolution of the modern comedy  genre and the star power of the only superstar ever created by SNL.

The Adam Sandler cult of personality--including Allen Covert, Peter Dante, Nick Swardson and former SNL chums Kevin Nealon, Rob Schneider and David Spade--come together to make Grandma's Boy, a fatally dull exercise in Sandler-style humor that fails to rise to even the low standards of one of Sandler's own films.

Allen Covert stars in Grandma's Boy as Alex, a 36-year-old stoner and video game tester who gave up the yoke of an accounting gig for life spent playing XBox with teenagers. When his stoner roommate gets him kicked out of his apartment, Alex is forced to move in with his grandmother Lilli (Doris Roberts, Everybody Loves Raymond) and her two roommates, doddering pill popper Bea (Shirley Knight) and foul mouthed, sex-obsessed Grace (Partridge Family star Shirley Jones).

At work, Alex and his even more arrested-development pal Jeff (Nick Swardson), a 20-something, footy pajama wearing mama's boy who sleeps in a race car bed, are testing the latest alien shoot-em-up videogame for a company called Brainasium. Kevin Nealon plays their stoner, vegan, boss who hires the super hot Sam (a slumming Linda Cardellini) to be Alex and Jeff's supervisor.

Alex has a rival at work, a game creator named J.P. (Joel Moore, Dodgeball) who, like Alex, develops a quick crush on Sam.  J.P, however, is no threat, as his proclivity for dressing like Neo from the Matrix and speaking in the voice of a robot when nervous or angry prevents him from much of any social interaction. The plot, such as it is, kicks in with Alex having created his own video game but being a shiftless, pothead layabout he does nothing about it until his idea is stolen. Then, in a requirement of the film's plot and title, only his grandma can step in to save him.

That is the story (or at least what passes for a story) that propels Grandma's Boy toward an ending. However, this is not a movie that is concerned with plot. Rather, drop the 'l' and you get what the real subject of Grandma's Boy, getting super high. I have no problem with that, but don’t make a movie if your only idea is to get high and play video games. Just stay home and do that. As a ‘movie’ Grandma's Boy is a stoner movie with all of the stoner cliches of munchies, morons, and a monkey. The monkey is actually a carryover from Adam Sandler’s movies as he requires a funny animal bit in all of his movies, regardless of whether it's funny or not. 

The actors in Grandma's Boy are  obviously Adam Sandler's comic B-team and I imagine behind the scenes, this group of friends are a riot. On screen, I am at a loss to see why they are appealing. Covert and the rest of this cast have little to nothing original or funny to say or do. It’s as if Sandler owed a friend with a screenplay a favor and then realized that even he had a standard he could not drop below. Instead, he handed the script to Covert and tricked a studio into letting his buddies make a movie. 

Poor Shirley Jones. The former mama Partridge humiliates herself in the role of a slutty older woman who claims to have slept with Charlie Chaplin and Don Knotts on different occasions. In Grandma's Boy, Jones thinks she is in on the joke of her character being a sex mad older woman but in fact she is the subject of the joke in which she seduces Nick Swardson's manchild Jeff. Grandma’s Boy is a movie made by people who think that just the idea of a person over 60 having sex is somehow funny. 

The only actor to survive the carnage of Grandma's Boy is the lovely Linda Cardellini. Far more skilled than the "actors" she has chosen to work with, Cardellini gamely throws herself into the stoner fun of Grandma's Boy. However, when it comes down to it, you can tell Cardellini is not inhaling the fumes. Cardellini picks up her paycheck and escapes the fray of Grandma's Boy by affecting an above-it-all air.

That Grandma's Boy did not go directly to the video store is a testament to Adam Sandler's clout and nothing more. That he does not even deign to cameo in Grandma's Boy and still manages to overshadow every aspect of the film. It says something, not anything good, about Sandler’s connection to his audience--the audience for Grandma's Boy likely loved Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison--and how his entourage of pals pretending to be actors are linked to him. Grandma’s Boy doesn’t exist without Sandler wielding his star power to get it made. 

Fans of pot humor, old people having sex, and monkeys may find something to enjoy in Grandma's Boy, but for the other 98% of the movie going public there is nothing to enjoy about this Adam Sandler-less Adam Sandler flick.


Movie Review Megalopolis

 Megalopolis  Directed by Francis Ford Coppola  Written by Francis Ford Coppola  Starring Adam Driver, Nathalie Emmanuel, Giancarlo Esposito...