Horror in the 90s The Unborn

The Unborn (1991) 

Directed by Rodman Flender 

Written by John Brancato, Michael Ferris

Starring Brooke Adams, Jeff Hayenga, K Callan, Kathy Griffin, Lisa Kudrow 

Release Date March 29th, 1991 

Box Office Gross $1.15 million dollars 

The Unborn is part of a special subgenre of 90s horror, the laughable kind. Okay, fine, it's also a movie that wants to tap into the fears inherent in struggling to become a new parent and bring life into the world, but the film is truly laughable in that effort. Goofy special effect babies, over the top, shrill performances, and artless direction render The Unborn part of the Corman Classics, a group of cheap, often quite terrible films that Roger Corman artlessly pumped out of his mass manufactured movie company. While Corman's legend has earned a reappraisal for the careers he helped to launch, we should not forget the huckster Corman was at heart, a salesman crafting and selling faulty products at low, low prices. 

Poor dewy-eyed Brooke Adams has the thankless task of playing the lead role in The Unborn. Adams plays Virginia, a children's book author who has been trying for several years to have a child with her milquetoast hubby, Brad, offering bland support and dodging any blame for their failure to conceive. In a desperate, last-ditch effort, the couple has agreed to see an experimental doctor with a new scientific approach to helping couples conceive. The new method is terrifying and painful involving a dark operating room and large needles. The production design is cheap but the lack of lights, at the very least, does create a sense of the unnatural. 

The special new doctor is Dr. Richard Meyerling (James Karen), a man who has worked miracles for other families, though the nature of these miracles are slowly coming to light. In fact, the family that recommended that Virginia see Dr. Meyerling suffers a tragedy when the daughter born from Dr. Meyerling's experimental procedures begins showing sociopathic tendencies that end with her murdering her little brother while he slept. Other women have ended up before their baby is born and one woman, a new friend of Virgina's, ends up in a coma. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review: Bandslam

Bandslam (2009) 

Directed by Todd Graff

Written by Todd Graff, Josh A. Cagan 

Starring Aly Michalka, Gaelen Connell, Vanessa Hudgens, Scott Porter, Lisa Kudrow, 

Release Date August 14th, 2009 

Published August 16th, 2009 

After more than a decade as a film critic it is very rare that a movie can sneak up on me. I am generally well informed and aware of most aspects of a movie  before I see it. I keep an open mind but it would be nearly impossible not to have expectations of a movie based on the trailer, the commercials, the stars and the director.

That is certainly the case with the teen comedy Bandslam. The film stars an unknown young man and two Disney channel divas, one of whom is best known for the vanilla High School Musical franchise. Bandslam comes from Summit Entertainment, the company behind the marketing phenomenon that is Twilight and Walden Media, the church lead movie company behind such forgettable fare as Hoot and Because of Winn Dixie.

Expectations were very, very low for Bandslam. Then I actually saw it and my expectations were trumped by a smile that refused to leave my face. Bandslam is a musically literate, adroit teen comedy that packs a number of surprising and honestly moving moments in the midst of some typical High School movie plotting.

The film stars Gaelan Connell as Will Burton a terminal outcast who spends his free time soaked in musical arcana. He writes daily missives to his hero David Bowie and longs for the day he can escape Cincinnati where his father has brought the family an infamy Will cannot escape.

Will gets his wish when his mom (Lisa Kudrow) tells him they are moving to New Jersey. At first, things aren't that different, Will is still an outcast, but things pick up when Charlotte (Aly Mischalka) randomly chooses Will to be her friend. Charlotte is a former cheerleader turned rocker chick who picks up stray outcasts to be her friends and bandmates. 

She and Will bond over music but she makes clear she has no interest in him romantically. The musical bond leads to Will becoming the manager of Charlotte's band which in the near future will play Bandslam and go head to head for a record contract with Charlotte's ex-boyfriend (Scott Porter) and his band The Glorydogs.

The band is good but Will see's potential and begins to round out the sound with a few more outcasts, including a strange cello player and an Asian exchange student with a talent for piano. Meanwhile, Will begins a flirtation with Sa5m; the 5 is silent. She has a secret past as well as a musician but their bond is more romantic than musical. At least at first.

Directed by Todd Graf, who's Camp was another wonderful movie about musical outsiders. Like Camp,  Bandslam is a musically literate teen flick held together by a lead performance by Gaelan Connell that evokes a young John Cusack. No kidding, the kid is that good.

It's a movie of terrific musical taste that runs the gamut from indie rock to ska to The Velvet Underground and David Bowie who shows up late in the film as required by Will's quirk of regularly writing him letters. Graf does well to manage the musical tastes of his fictional teens keeping them smart without being too smart, the music played by the bands at Bandslam is purely the contemporary pop radio stuff one would expect of teens playing in a garage.

That touch of truthfulness gives depth to the movie as do the complicated, believable relationships between these terrific characters. I mentioned Connell as the film's center but he is matched well by Mischalka, an actress I was not familiar with before this film. I am told she is a star of some teen sitcom, wherever she came from she is on her way to big things. I loved the random way she and Connell bond on screen and later when expected complications arise she deftly roots the character in behavior that comes directly from the life experience of this character and not the unnatural, necessary behavior of some teen movie drone.

Also strong is Vanessa Hudgens in an unexpectedly small role. When I saw that one of the stars of High School Musical was in Bandslam I naturally assumed she would be the star. Hudgens however, melts right into this ensemble cast. Though the name Sa5m is a little precious, Hudgens does well to underplay the character quirks. And just wait till she gets on stage to deliver a rockin' version of Bread's "Everything I Own". Wow! Not kidding, great stuff.

The music of Bandslam is a wonderfully curious mix. Bread and Cheap Trick mix effortlessly with Bowie and The Velvet Underground and with such modern rockers as The Daze and Peter, Bjorn and John. Director Graf has experience with mixing musical tastes, in Camp he mixed showtunes and rock and roll with breezy good natured ease.

What fun it is to be surprised. Bandslam looked like just another teen coming of age movie. Thankfully, in its love of music, music literacy and clever and engaging characters, Bandslam transcends genre and low expectations becomes a terrific little movie.

Movie Review Hotel for Dogs

Hotel for Dogs (2009) 

Directed by Thor Freudenthal 

Written by Jeff Lowell, Mark McCorkle, Bob Schooley

Starring Emma Roberts, Jake T. Austin, Lisa Kudrow, Kevin Dillon, Don Cheadle

Release Date January 16th, 2009 

Published January 19th, 2009 

Is there any hotter movie star in the world right now than the pooch? Dogs are a big box office hit these days. From the Beverly Hills Chihuahua to the animated Bolt to the box office king Marley, the dog is boffo box office. The latest example of doggie dominance, Hotel For Dogs, hasn't lit up the box office quite as well as its predecessors but it's coming around, hence why I have gone back to actually complete this review.

Hotel For Dogs tells the story of an orphan brother and sister, Bruce (Jake T. Austin) and Andi (Emma Roberts). They are a pair of troublemakers who make trouble to get out of bad foster homes. The latest one has them living with a pair of wannabe rock stars, (Lisa Kudrow and Kevin Dillon) who refuse to feed them anything but scraps and cereal.

They are scheming a way out until their kind, caring social worker  Bernie (Don Cheadle) tells them they will be separated if they can't make this home work. The biggest obstacle for Bruce and Andi is hiding their beloved pup Friday, a gift from their late parents.

One day, when Friday runs away, Bruce and Andi track him down in a rundown hotel where several other dogs are hiding out from the no good dog catchers. Bruce and Andi decide that all the dogs need to be cared for and using his wizard-like skill with gadgets, Bruce begins building ways for the dogs to get help when they can't be there.

Meanwhile, Andi befriends Dave (Johnny Simmons), a boy who works in a local pet store. He and his friend Heather (Kyla Pratt) agree to help out and provide the puppy chow and all four agree that there are other stray dogs out there that need their help and a caring roof over their heads. The Hotel For Dogs is born.

Are there any cheaper ways to achieve sentimentality than orphans and puppies? Really? Director Thor Freudenthal and crew have built a gadget of a movie meant to play on any and all sympathies. Surprise, surprise, it works. Sure, it's cheap, tacky and sentimental but Hotel For Dogs is also undeniably sweet, cute and fun.

Emma Roberts is a winning little star with a big bright smile and energy to burn. She is the perfect heroine for a movie like this, combining the innocence and gumption needed to keep the movie from becoming treacly. Jake T. Austin is also perfect casting. The star of Disney's Wizards Waverly Place could play this role with his eyes closed; everything about Hotel For Dogs matches the modern Disney model of pre-teen live action TV shows like Wizards, I-Carly or Hannah Montana.

Sweet without being cloying and sentimental without being pushy, Hotel For Dogs is great family entertainment built to make dog owners cry and everyone else just say awww.

Movie Review Table 19

Table 19 (2017) 

Directed by Jeffrey Blitz

Written by Jay Duplass, Mark Duplass 

Starring Anna Kendrick, Wyatt Russell, Stephen Merchant, Lisa Kudrow, Craig Robinson 

Release Date March 13th, 2017

Published March 29th, 2017

Undoubtedly someone will relate to the idea of being invited to a wedding where they are not expected to attend. At least, that is what the producers of the new comedy “Table 19” would like to think. The premise here is that several people have been invited to a wedding where they were just expected to pick a gift off the registry and send that in with their regards. Instead, each of these oddballs decides to attend the wedding and wind up at the table of misfit guests.

Anna Kendrick stars in “Table 19” as Eloise, the former Maid of Honor turned pariah after she was dumped by the Best Man who is also the Bride’s brother, Teddy (Wyatt Russell). Eloise has backed out of the wedding several times since the breakup only to show up on the day of the wedding with everyone concerned she might make a scene. To mitigate her potential meltdown, Eloise is placed as far away as possible, at Table 19.

Joining Eloise are a random assemblage of guests including Jerry and Bina Kepp, (Craig Robinson and Lisa Kudrow) business acquaintances of the Bride’s father, Jo (June Squibb), the Bride’s former Nanny, Renzo (Tony Revolori) an awkward teenager, and Walter (Stephen Merchant), a business associate of the Groom’s father. Walter is fresh out of prison and hoping no one knows about his prison stay or how he got there; why he came to the wedding or was invited is anyone’s guess.

“Table 19” has the appearance of a movie but not the story of a movie, at least not a good one. At times the film feels like each actor was given one idea for a character and then told to improvise some comic situation. Unfortunately, despite a very talented and game cast, no one, not even the lovely Anna Kendrick finds much beyond one note to play and that one note is rarely ever funny.

Stephen Merchant is a very funny and talented man but his Walter is an absolute comic dead zone. Walter’s one note is that he is just out of prison and hoping no one notices. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know how to lie properly so he keeps stumbling into awkward and contrived conversations that the makers of “Table 19” apparently believed were hilarious. They are not hilarious, tedious is the more apt description as Merchant plays the same awkward gag over and over until you wish his character would just leave the rest of the movie alone.

Craig Robinson and Lisa Kudrow have a slightly different problem, they are way more interesting than the one note characters they are given to play. As a married couple seemingly headed for a breakup, Robinson and Kudrow at times seem to border on a much better movie, a more European style character comedy where we might explore their marital problems with a wedding in the background. I kept dreaming of that far funnier movie while “Table 19” forced Kudrow to carry one joke through the movie, she has the same color jacket as the catering staff. Ha Ha.

And finally, there is Kendrick who should be the star here but is instead treated as a member of a wacky ensemble. Unfortunately, that ensemble isn’t funny or even all that interesting while Kendrick is her usual appealing self, her charisma and beauty calling for our full attention while the film forces us to endure her one-note table mates to ever more unfunny situations and dialogue.

I had high hopes for “Table 19.” Anna Kendrick, to me, is a genuine movie star and I wanted to see where she might lead this story. Sadly, the wacky, one note ensemble strands her in the role of straight-woman to a group of terribly unfunny side characters. There is a very funny Anna Kendrick wedding comedy trapped inside of “Table 19” trying to get out but is entirely thwarted by the filmmakers. 

The Bride's parents were right, these wedding guests should have just stayed home.

Movie Review Booksmart

Booksmart (2019) 

Directed by Olivia Wilde 

Written by Susanna Vogel, Katie Silberman, Sarah Haskins 

Starring Beanie Feldstein, Kaitlyn Dever, Lisa Kudrow, Will Forte

Release Date March 24th, 2019

Published March 24th, 2019

Booksmart stars Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever, a long way from her role on Tim Allen’s Last Man Standing, as Molly and Amy, High School best friends who believe they have the whole school thing locked down. Molly and Amy have done little but focus on getting into the best colleges and owning the student government in order to make sure their college resumes were strong. The pair's plan appears to have worked as both are off to amazing schools. 

I say the plan appears to have worked but appearances can be deceiving. On the final day of the school year, Molly overhears some classmates making fun of her high achieving ways but when she tries to show them up by talking about getting into Yale, she finds that her fellow classmates have also gotten into good schools. This includes a girl Molly had dismissed as a tramp, Triple A (Molly Gordon), the name gets explained, trust me, who has also gotten into Yale. 

As Molly begins to confront other students about their school plans in the fall she finds that even her nemesis/crush, the jock football goof, Nick (Mason Gooding, Cuba Gooding’s son, FYI), has landed a scholarship to Georgetown in the fall. All of the time and effort that Molly and Amy put into getting into a good school wasn’t in vain, per se, but the realization is that they could have both achieved and still found time to enjoy themselves and party. 

Thus, with one night remaining before graduation, and Nick the jock throwing a raging party at his aunt’s house, Molly convinces Amy that they deserve one night of classic High School debauchery with drugs, drinking and bad choices. But first, they will need to find out where the party is actually taking place and find some way of getting there. This leads to a series of bizarre encounters on the way to the party. 

My absolute, unquestionable, favorite part of Booksmart is Billie Lourde, Carrie Fisher’s remarkably brilliant daughter. Lourd plays Gigi, a debauched rich girl who pals around with Jared (Skyler Gisondo), a sweet, misguided rich kid with a crush on Molly. Gigi pops up at random moments throughout Booksmart and gets a big laugh every single time. Lourd is boiling with charisma and charm and comic timing and I wanted more of her even as I recognize that any more of Gigi would ruin the magic of the character. 

A close second in the race for best supporting player in Booksmart is former Daily Show correspondent and co-host of the podcast ‘2 Dope Queens,’ Jessica Williams. Williams plays Ms. Fine, Molly and Amy’s favorite teacher. Such big fans of each other, the girls actually get their teacher’s phone number in class so they can stay in touch. Williams will re-enter the story later at the party and has a funny running gag about a student with a crush on her. Williams is brilliantly funny, never going for the easiest laugh and finding ways to twist a good joke. 

The whole of Booksmart falls under the direction of actress turned first time feature film director Olivia Wilde and what a remarkable job she has done. Taking a screenplay with four credited writers, Susanna Fogel, Emily Halpern, Sarah Haskin, and Katie Silberman, who has the ‘written by’ credit on IMDB, and shapes it with strong direction into a movie with memorable characters and big laughs. For a first time director, Wilde directs Booksmart with the confidence and competence of a veteran director. 

This is a wonderfully strong outing for someone with only a few short films on her directorial resume. Olivia Wilde has come out of the gates with a movie that demonstrates a director with a strong authorial voice. Wilde appears generous with her cast, giving them the time to find the jokes while shaping the scenes to the overall narrative. The film is notably raunchy, as the trailer indicates, but Booksmart also has a strong emotional component that plays into the ending I won’t spoil. It’s a lovely coda and one you should see and enjoy. 

I can’t believe I have gone this far without talking about the young stars of Booksmart, but here we are. Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever are, no surprise if you’ve read this far, wonderful in Booksmart. Feldstein consistently subverts expectations and gets laughs and pathos in equal measure. Dever, playing an out of the closet teenager in authentic and achingly real fashion, has an emotional arc that is also exceptionally funny because she is naturally talented and draws the laughs out of the real. The chemistry between Feldstein and Dever is off the charts and you can’t help but adore their dynamic. 

Booksmart is one of my favorite movies of 2019. Wildly funny, smart and emotional, it’s an exceptionally strong debut feature for director Olivia Wilde. I can only imagine incredible things for Wilde’s directorial future. The raunchy humor and comparisons to Superbad may be what gets audiences in the door, but they will remember Booksmart for a terrific cast and Olivia Wilde’s smart, funny directorial choices. 

Movie Review P.S I Love You

P.S I Love You (2007) 

Directed by Richard LaGravenese 

Written by Steven Rogers 

Starring Hilary Swank, Gerard Butler, Lisa Kudrow, Harry Connick Jr., Gina Gershon, Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Release Date December 21st, 20007

Published December 22nd, 2007 

If the movie P.S I Love You were a person her name would be Sybil. The name synonymous for multiple personality disorder is all too fitting for a manic, tone shifting on a dime, romantic comedy about a dead guy who romances his girl from the grave.

Hilary Swank stars in P.S I love You as Holly Kennedy. Her husband Jerry has died and her mourning takes the form of her hiding out in their apartment, wearing his clothes and singing along with songs in old movies. Three weeks after Jerry's funeral, weeks where she never left the apartment, Holly's 30th birthday arrives along with a package.

It's a birthday cake with an inscription from Jerry. Also included is a tape he made from his deathbed advising Holly on how to move on without forgetting him. For the next several weeks more letters will arrive and Holly is required to follow them literally. Instructions include, buy a pretty dress, sing karaoke, travel to Ireland and finally, find another man.

Directed by Richard LaGravenese and based on a novel by Cecillia Ahern, P.S I Love attempts to weave grief and humor and the mix is awkward, uncomfortable and a little creepy. Though the central theme is dealing with loss and it's clear that the character of Jerry wants the best for his wife; by not going away the character causes more problems than he solves.

As this gimmick plays out it becomes achingly clear that P.S I Love You is not instructive, insightful or even modestly comforting in the way it deals with grief and loss. Jerry and his letters are a ploy to create a plot around which goofy romantic encounters can play out.

Throw in a character played by Harry Connick Jr. that is arguably one of the worst written characters of all time and an ending so hackneyed it makes The Wedding Planner look like The English Patient and the result is an agitating, irritating shambles of a romantic comedy.

Are we supposed to laugh at Holly or with Holly? Do we feel grief and loss or just darkly goofy? P.S I Love You is so erratic you'll likely be at a loss to feeling anything other than ripped off for the cost of the rental on DVD.

Movie Review Marcy X

Marci X (2003) 

Directed by Richard Benjamin 

Written by Paul Rudnick 

Starring Lisa Kudrow, Damon Wayans, Christine Baranski, Richard Benjamin

Release Date August 22nd, 2003 

Published August 21st, 2003 

An Open Letter to Hollywood

After sitting through the Gigli's, the Kangaroo Jack's and the Lara Croft Tomb Raider's it's clear you don't care about the American filmgoer. You have made it clear that you have no respect for our intelligence, no respect for our taste, no respect period. I understand that but I still must ask one favor, if you listen to us, the American filmgoer just one time please listen to this plea. Never allow director Richard Benjamin to make another film as long as he lives. His latest effort Marci X is clearly the worst that you in Hollywood could possibly ever make, and if it's not God help us all.

Normally this is the part of the review where I give a synopsis of the plot but unfortunately, I couldn't find one. Somewhere buried beneath a series of witless skits and musical interludes is something about a rapper played by Damon Wayans and a rap record that has drawn the ire of a conservative congresswoman played by Christine Baranski. Lisa Kudrow plays the daughter of the owner of the record company who is forced to take over the company when her father has a heart attack.

That is the setup but the execution, oh if only I were using execution literally, is a horrendous satire of rappers and rap culture that is inane, offensive and tremendously unfunny. References to rappers such as Tupac Shakur, Snoop Dogg and Eminem are tossed in alongside characters that stand in for people such as Puff Daddy, Jennifer Lopez and Suge Knight. God help Richard Benjamin if Suge Knight sees this film, although that might not be a bad thing. Can you sue someone for just referring to you because the rappers whose names and images are dragged through this film deserve restitution.

It comes as no surprise that Marci X has the stink of two years on a studio shelf, only Satan himself could be responsible for this film ever making it to theaters. The film's jokes certainly show the film's age, despite an overdubbed reference to Martha Stewart's legal troubles, one scene is a sendup of Puffy and J.Lo's nightclub incident. Of course the whole thing is a horribly misconceived take on Ice T's Cop Killer crossed with the Two Live Crew censorship case both of which happened over ten years ago.

Not that a more up to date script could help this mess. Benjamin's direction is so amazingly witless that he manages to not merely embarrass Kudrow, Wayans and Baranski, but humiliate them. The stars were complicit in their humiliation but it's hard to believe three such talented performers could have ever imagined that what they were making was this bad. Proof of that is that Kudrow and Wayans actually manage to spark some chemistry when they are short-circuited by the film falling apart around them.

Roger Ebert has a line that I have cribbed a number of times to describe just how bad a film is. Ebert said of a film called Mad Dog Time that it did not improve upon the sight of a blank screen viewed for the same length of time. Marci X is actually an insult to the very screen it's projected on. I beg Hollywood, please do not allow Richard Benjamin to inflict any further damage on the film-going public. Not many will see Marci X but for the brave fools who do, you owe it to them to make sure Mr. Benjamin never makes another film.