Movie Review Pink Panther 2

Pink Panther 2 (2009) 

Directed by Harald Zwart

Written by Steve Martin, Scott Neustader, Michael H. Weber

Starring Steve Martin, Jean Reno, Alfred Molina, Emily Mortimer, Aishwarya Rai, Andy Garcia 

Release Date February 6th, 2009 

Published February 6th, 2009 

Steve Martin used to be funny. I know it. I think. Wait, yes. Yes, Steve Martin was funny. The Jerk was funny. His first few SNL hosting gigs were funny. Three Amigos was funny. It's just that in the last decade or so Steve Martin has been so terribly unfunny that it's easy to forget when he was funny. The bad has been overwhelming the good in recent years. 

Arguably, the nadir of the last decade of Martin's career came when he chose to replace the late great Peter Sellers in The Pink Panther. Martin's The Pink Panther was a slipshod, insulting and stupid little kids movie that showcased Martin as still being able to do a pratfall but not being funny while doing it.  Somehow, Martin has convinced himself that the mess of Pink Panther was ok enough that we need another Pink Panther and though this sequel is slightly more coherent than the first film; Steve Martin remains terribly, forgettable, unfunny.

Inspector Clousseau (Martin) has been busted back down to parking duty when we join the story. However, when the Pink Panther diamond is threatened by a thief who's been stealing treasures all over the world, France turns to Clouseau and a dream team of worldwide investigators to solve the crime. Joining Clouseau in this dream team is Italian ladies man Vincenzo (Andy Garcia), British deductor Pepperidge (Alfred Molina), Japanese tech wizard Kenji (Yuki Matsuzaki) and an alluring true crime writer Sonia (Aishwarya Rai). No points for guessing that one of the dream team is really the bad guy.

Can someone explain to me why Steve Martin and the makers of the Pink Panther movies think the word Hamburger is so hilariously funny? The first film spent far too much of its run time working over that word and the gag continues in the sequel and even less effectively. I'm baffled, why this running gag? Why the word Hamburger? 

Then again, to try and locate some kind of comedic logic in the modern Pink Panther movies is a truly lost cause. This is a movie that still believes politically correct jokes are funny. Lily Tomlin shows up as an American working for the French government trying to fix Clouseau's penchant for politically incorrect statements. The last time these jokes were funny President Clinton was in office.

The Pink Panther 2 is somehow not as bad as the first film but that is a supremely low bar. Dull, witted and predictable, the overall feeling one can take away from Pink Panther 2 is disappointment. Disappointment over the fact that we know Steve Martin used to be funny and he just isn't anymore. And disappointment that The Pink Panther used to be entertaining before it became entwined with Steve Martin. 

Movie Review: Twisted

Twisted (2004) 

Directed by Phillip Kaufman

Written by Sarah Thorp 

Starring Andy Garcia, Samuel L. Jackson, Ashley Judd

Release Date February 27th, 2004

Published February 26th, 2004

I recently read a blind item in the trades about a producer who showed his new film, a thriller with A-list cast, to a group of friends. The producer was worried the film wasn't any good and hoped the friendly crowd could deliver some constructive notes. The crowd, including at least one professional critic, laughed derisively throughout the film. The suggestions the director was given about the film included dropping the film’s dramatic score and adding a voiceover that establishes the film as a parody rather than a thriller.

Now I'm not saying that that blind item referred to the new Ashley Judd serial killer movie Twisted, but being that the film is a laughably bad thriller with an A-list cast... Hmm…

Judd stars in Twisted as Jessica Shepherd, a newly promoted homicide cop. With help from her mentor and surrogate father, Lt. John Mills (Samuel L. Jackson), Shepherd moved up the ranks quickly but deservedly. As good as her life might seem Shepherd has issues that include heavy drinking and a penchant for one night stands with strangers. Her troubles likely stem from her father, a former cop who went on a killing spree just after Jessica was born. A killing spree that ended with her father taking his own life after killing her mother.

Jessica's first murder case is a real doozy, a serial killer whose signature is a cigarette burn on the victim’s hand. With her new partner Mike Delmarco (Andy Garcia), Jessica investigates a killer who happens to be murdering men that Jessica has slept with. Interestingly, on the nights that the murders happen, Jessica spends the night passed out after drinking. After the third or fourth time this happens, people begin to suspect Jessica is the killer.

Director Philip Kaufman is a pro who directed Quills, The Right Stuff, and The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Here all of the skill that he brought to those films is completely missing. In Twisted, he merely translates Sarah Thorp's weak script from paper to film. The script is an amalgam of serial killer clichés including, as Roger Ebert has dubbed it, the talking killer who reveals the evil plot, going on just long enough for the cops to arrive to arrest them.

There is also a twist, which I guess is required of a film called Twisted. Then again, the twist may be the only reason the film is called Twisted, nothing that happens in the film would lead you to calling the film by that name otherwise. Of course, they had to call it something and the titles Double Jeopardy, Kiss The Girls, and High Crimes were already taken.

When people complain that Hollywood has run out of original ideas, they can point to Twisted as the prime example of a film without an original one.

Movie Review The Man from Elysian Fields

The Man from Elysian Fields (2001) 

Directed by George Hickenlooper 

Written by Phillip Jason Lasker

Starring Andy Garcia, James Coburn, Julianna Margulies, Mick Jagger, Olivia Williams 

Release Date September 27th, 2002 

Published May 24th, 2003 

Woman: Are you the man from Elysian Fields?

Man: Is it that obvious?

Just what is this Man From Elysian Fields? Well it's a rare breed of well written, charming, intelligent filmmaking that respects the intelligence and wit of its audience. A film of great wit, that is not afraid to be adult and doesn't compromise itself to the marketplace. Essentially, it's the kind of film I wish there were more of.

The film stars Andy Garcia as Byron Tiller, a down on his luck novelist who spends his free time in bookstores enticing people to buy his novel, a lame thriller called Hitler's Son. Saddened by the fact that after less than a year his book is in the bargain bin, Byron is finally finishing up his second novel. His wife Dena (Julianna Marguilies) is supportive but money is getting tight while she waits for him to finish.

Unfortunately, Byron's publisher doesn't like the new book, which Byron says is about migrant workers. Without a publishing deal, Byron begins searching for a job but finds no one is hiring out-of-work writers.

With no real prospects, Byron finds himself approached in a bar by a stranger named Luther Fox (Mick Jagger. Yes, that Mick Jagger. Is there any other?). Luther claims to have the solution to Byron's problem and gives him a business card for something called Elysian Fields.

Elysian Fields is the cover name for an escort service that pairs men with lonely women to escort them to events when their husbands aren't available and on some occasions sleep with them. Of course, this isn't anything Byron would ever do because he's happily married but when Luther tells him he doesn't have to sleep with the women, he agrees.

After lying to his wife, saying he was spending late nights with hi editor, Byron escorts a gorgeous woman named Andrea Alcott (Olivia Williams) to the opera. Why does a woman as beautiful as Andrea need an escort? Because her husband is dying of diabetes and has agreed to allow her to date. Andrea's husband Tobias (James Coburn) also happens to be an award-winning writer whom Byron has idolized. He doesn't find this out until he is caught sleeping with Andrea and is introduced to the couple’s arrangement.

The set up sounds forced and convenient, only in my feeble explanation. The real joy of The Man From Elysian Fields is in its dialogue and characters, all of whom are well inhabited by one of the best ensemble casts I've seen in a long time. Forget what you think of Mick Jagger as an actor, he gives a stellar performance here as the narrator and devil on Byron's shoulder that slowly becomes his conscience.

Andy Garcia is becoming one of the most reliable actors in Hollywood, consistently seeking out and finding great roles and great scripts. Garcia is aided greatly by a wonderfully sympathetic performance by Julianna Marguilies.

In his final performance before his death in 2002, Oscar winner James Coburn is magnificently witty and gruff. His love story with Williams is tender and believable as written by screenwriter Philip Jayson Lasker. Though some of Coburn's dialogue borders on being too well written Coburn reigns it in with the glint in his eye. It is a little strange to watch the late Coburn portray a character that is dying but the performance is so good that it feels like the perfect coda for his career.

There really is little to complain about in The Man From Elysian Fields. Director George Hickenlooper so elegantly crafts this film that even when it’s at times breezy, it’s acceptable. It's just so well written. It's not laugh out loud funny but intelligently witty. It reminded me of the kind of film Hollywood made during its glory days of the 1950's, though with a story that likely couldn't have been made in the days of the Hays code.

Movie Review Confidence

Confidence (2003) 

Directed by James Foley 

Written by Doug Jung 

Starring Edward Burns, Rachel Weisz, Andy Garcia, Paul Giamatti, Donal Logue, Dustin Hoffman 

Release Date April 25th, 2003

Published April 25th, 2003 

It's all been done.

That is the problem with modern Hollywood filmmaking, the perception that there is nothing new that can be done. That every story is a familiar concoction of similar films. It's a product of Hollywood's adherence to genre and demographic marketing that certain elements are put into films where they don't belong in order to appeal to mass audiences. Take for example the con man movie Confidence starring Edward Burns, a familiar story of cons and con men that doesn't simply lack originality but feels so familiar that it becomes predictable.

Burns stars as Jake Vig, if that ain't the name of a movie con man, I've never heard one. Jake and his crew including Gordo (Paul Giamatti) and Miles (Brian Van Holt), specialize in petty scams involving thousands of dollars and moving quickly from place to place. However, the crew's latest con has found them sticking around longer than they are used to, and playing with larger sums of money than before. Not only is the con bigger than usual so is the man being conned, though they don't realize it at first.

In possession of 100 grand after scamming some small time bag man, Jake and his crew find that the money is that of a sadistic mobster known as the King (Dustin Hoffman). Rather than being upset with Jake, the King is impressed with his skills. Nevertheless, he wants his money back. So Jake hatches a new con, a fleece on one of the King's rivals that will not only get the King's money back but net everyone around five million bucks.

Jake and his crew can't pull this con off alone so Jake recruits a skillful pickpocket named Lily (Rachel Weisz). Lilly’s part is to seduce a low level VP in a stock scandal that includes Swiss banks, the Cayman islands and various other familiar con movie locales. The mark is a mob lawyer and money launderer played by Robert Forster, and the dupe VP is well played by “Drew Carey” vet John Carroll Lynch.

The film is told in flashback in a noir tribute to the thirties con man movies. It begins with Burns on the ground and in voiceover explaining he is dead. The device is effective and set's the film in motion but the noir feel doesn't hold up long. After the opening moments the film takes on a more modern look and feel and abandons noir all together.

Edward Burns in recent interviews has stated that he was far more committed to acting in Confidence. He broke his old pattern of working on one film while writing another, which helped him to be more focused than he has been previously. The change is noticeable, this is the most lively Burns has been in any role since She's The One. Unfortunately, on his best day as an actor he's still reminds of Ben Affleck minus the charisma.

Director James Foley skillfully directs this con game and it's Mametesque script, which is no surprise. Foley was the man who successfully wrestled Mamet's Glengarry Glen Ross to the screen. Confidence isn't as brilliant as that film but the script has it's moments especially those handled by Hoffman who once again shows what a true pro he is.

I neglected to mention that Andy Garcia turns up as an FBI agent on the trail of the con men. Watching Garcia makes you wish he and Burns could have switched roles. Shave the shaggy beard, blacken the hair and throw on a nice suit and Garcia could do the role with his eyes shut. Nothing against Ed Burns, he gets better as an actor each time out, but Confidence demands a pro and Garcia could have been that pro.

Movie Review Smokin' Aces

Smokin' Aces (2007) 

Directed by Joe Carnahan

Written by Joe Carnahan 

Starring Ryan Reynolds, Jeremy Piven, Ben Affleck, Chris Pine, Ray Liotta, Alicia Keyes, Taraji P. Henson, Andy Garcia, Jason Bateman

Release Date January 26th, 2007

Joe Carnahan was getting his ass kicked. On his first blockbuster assignment, Mission Impossible 3, Carnahan was dealing with a restrictive studio, a demanding star in Tom Cruise, and an unwieldy script that just never made sense for Carnahan’s style of filmmaking. While it would have been a dream project for anyone in Carnahan’s position, leaving Mission Impossible 3  was a blessing for Carnahan who went back to his own work. With the blockbuster behind him, Carnahan was able to make Smokin’ Aces a movie that is perhaps the purest distillation of Carnahan’s style of filmmaking. 

Smokin' Aces is the result of Carnahan's studio movie frustrations. An ultra-violent, multi-character action pic with a final act that kicks the doors down. Smokin' Aces crosses a dash of Tarentino with a hint of Guy Richie and a little Scorsese. But this is no mere homage to other filmmakers. The final act of Smokin' Aces is all Carnahan, an operatic denouement that turns a jaunty exercise in major film violence into a grand guignol of violent drama and revenge fantasy.

Simply put, Smokin' Aces kicks ass.

In a penthouse hideout in Lake Tahoe, Buddy 'Aces' Israel (Jeremy Piven) is hiding out, waiting for the feds to finish his deal. Buddy is turning state's evidence against the mobsters who made him a star lounge act on the Vegas strip. However, do not make the mistake of thinking Buddy is just another snitch. This move comes after his attempt to transition from lounge act to gangster nearly got him killed.

While Buddy hides out his old mob buddies have thrown a one million dollar bounty down on his head and every top hitman in the world wants a piece. Converging on Lake Tahoe are some of the most bloodthirsty cutthroats in the business of cutting throats. Worst of this lot are the Tremor brothers (Chris Pine, Kevin Durand, Maury Sterling), crazed terrorists with no fear of killing in broad daylight, in front of thousands of witnesses. Throwing bombs, literally, the Tremors are as subtle as a jackhammer but they are efficient killers.

On the slightly more subtle side, Georgia (pop star Alicia Keyes) and her girl Sharice (Taraji P. Henson) plan on stealth but carry a 50 caliber machine gun in case things get nasty. On the international front, Pasquale Acosta (Nestor Carbonell) is an efficient killer who specializes in the quiet kill. Assimilating himself to any situation he gets up close and personal with his victims and kills with icy determination.

The most underestimated and lethal killer is a shape-shifter named Lazlo Soot (Tommy Flanagan). No one has ever seen his real face, he specializes in masks and various torture techniques. Standing against this evil menagerie are a pair of FBI agents, Carruthers (Ray Liotta) and Messner (Ryan Reynolds) who have no idea just how bad things are about to get as their boss (Andy Garcia) works on Buddy's witness protection deal.

That is just a thumbnail sketch of the plot of Smokin' Aces which also makes room for roles filled by Ben Affleck, Common, Jason Bateman, Martin Henderson and Peter Berg. These roles may or may not be essential to the film's finale but they all combine for one of the funniest, gaudiest and largest  ensembles of any movie ever. Smokin’ Aces featured stars who would go on to dominate much of the next decade as blockbuster leading men. It’s a testament to how much people believed in the vision of Joe Carnahan back in the day. 

Joe Carnanhan made a killer debut with the movie Blood Guts and Octane back in 2000 and Narc in 2002. But with Smokin' Aces, Carnahan affirmed his directorial chops with a slick, stylish modern thriller that while it evokes many comparisons, in the end, it's all Carnahan After two acts of snarky, over the top violence, the third act of Smokin' Aces becomes a hardcore drama in which Ryan Reynolds' FBI agent steps forward and takes over the picture.

Reynolds had never been known as an action hero or a great dramatic actor before Smokin’ Aces 2006 release but in the final scenes of Smokin' Aces, Reynolds matured before our eyes and quickly showed the ability to take over and dominate a scene with something other than snappy one-liners. The former Van Wilder is a true badass in Smokin’ Aces, an early example of the full power of his superstar charisma. 

Smokin' Aces is a high octane violent spectacle. A superstar ensemble cast brought together by a then rising star director made for one seriously cool movie that has somehow become lost to history over a decade and a half later.. Many considered Smokin' Aces derivative at the time and that perception perhaps lingers, but for me, the cool factor is just undeniable and that goes a long way to redeeming whatever elements may feel overfamiliar today. 

And then there is that killer third act which takes Smokin' Aces from just another ultra-violent modern thriller into a whole other realm of high cool. Smokin Aces is so cool that it’s no wonder that Carnahan has never been able to recapture the magic of it. Carnahan has floundered over the last decade doing punch ups on terrible movies and delivering some of the most forgettable directorial efforts of the last decade and a half. It’s a shame but at least he will always have Smokin’ Aces as a reminder that at his best, Carnahan made one heck of a great action movie. 

Movie Review Ocean's 13

Ocean's 13 (2007) 

Directed by Steven Soderbergh 

Written by Brian Koppelman, David Levien 

Starring George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Don Cheadle, Al Pacino, Ellen Barkin 

Release Date June 8th, 2007 

Published June 7th, 2007 

The breezy filmed cocktail party atmosphere of the first two Ocean's pictures continues to charm in Ocean's 13. However, even as the stars remain witty and charismatic and director Steven Soderbergh's direction becomes more confident and experimental, there is a fatigued quality setting in. Like a party beginning to wind down, Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta Jones have already left, Ocean's 13 has drifted late into the night and it's time to lock the doors and send everyone home. But, hey, we did have a good time.

Al Pacino sets the plot of Ocean's 13 in motion as a jerky hotel financier named Willy Bank. Having entered into a deal with our old friend Reuben (Elliott Gould) to open the biggest new resort on the strip, Willy has decided to renege on the deal. Reuben is out, his steak of several million dollars is gone, but mostly he has lost his pride. Not long after Willy rips him off, Reuben has a heart attack that leads to severe depression and a nearly comatose state.

Enter Reuben's old pals Danny (George Clooney) Rusty (Brad Pitt) and Linus (Matt Damon) seeking vengeance. Reuben was a surrogate father to Rusty and Danny and after helping the Ocean's crew in each of their largest ventures, Reuben is family and so the plan is set in motion to ruin the casino and find a way for Reuben to get his cash back.

The plot set in motion is... complicated. It involves kidnapping a group of high roller gamblers, putting down a workers revolt in Mexico, and generating an Earthquake in Nevada. If that isn't complicated enough, how about throwing in Super Dave Osbourne as an FBI agent ready to throw the whole scheme into uproar, seeming to trip his way into Danny and Rusty's deeply complicated con. 

Director Steven Soderbergh is one of the busiest, most involved directors in the game. Even in the slick trifle that is Ocean's 13; Soderbergh not only directs, he slaps the camera on his shoulder and shoots the picture (the credits say Peter Andrews but that is just Steven Soderbergh's alias). Soderbergh is also the executive producer on the film and is seemingly involved in every aspect of the film down to the dice chosen for a pivotal scene.

It is Soderbergh's attention to detail that keeps this bloated cast party from becoming just a star vehicle. Don't get me wrong, this is still predominantly a star vehicle, but Soderbergh's herculean efforts lend the production a little artistic credibility.The film doesn't need it but it doesn't hurt to have it. Soderbergh crafts a dynamic look for Ocean's 13 that is perfectly fitting of the Vegas setting. It's what he's done throughout this franchise but it remains a notably positive element. 

Ocean's 13 is a charm factory. The glint in the eyes of this group of actors is why we turn out and why we have such a good time. When Clooney, Pitt, Damon and the gang are obviously having a great time the vibe is infectious and it radiates from the screen. Whether it's Pitt and Clooney's clowning on one another or the way Matt Damon is very much the little brother of the three, we can't help but feel like we are being let into the inner circle of our favorite stars, even for just a moment.

It's unfortunate that neither Julia Roberts or Catherine Zeta Jones could not stick around for the end of the extended cocktail party that are the Ocean's movies. Those knockout stars are replaced in Ocean's 13 by Ellen Barkin, a beautiful actress whose career has languished in B-movie leads the last few years. Reunited with her Sea Of Love co-star Al Pacino, Barkin's role is sadly underwritten and she plays things overly broad to cover.

As for Mr. Pacino; he seems invigorated by this role. He gets into the spirit right away with good humor and quick wit. If only his casino owner character were a more formidable foe for Danny and company. Despite what we are told is the most sophisticated security system in the world, Willy Bank's casino gets knocked over by the most outlandish scheme imaginable. It reduces Pacino's villain to merely a plot hanger, a reason why things happen and little more. 

Keep in mind however, dear reader, the scheme is not the point of Ocean's 13. Rather, the heist just provides the setting for the charm assault of this exceptional group of actors. Whether it's Casey Affleck and Scott Caan leading a worker revolt in Mexico or Bernie Mac flashing that sneaky bright white smile undercover as a domino dealer, every actor in the Ocean's crew has at least a moment where they delight the audience. And then there is David Paymer as a Hotel critic who gets wrapped up in the Ocean's 13 scheme. Keep an eye on him because his few moments of sad sack humor are priceless. Paymer is a small but welcome addition to the Ocean's canon. 

Ocean's 13 is yet another superfluous, throwaway blockbuster; entertaining in exactly the ways that all throwaway blockbusters are. Perfectly aware of its charm and good looks, Ocean's 13 proceeds from one scene to the next with supreme confidence and great humor. The good vibes are infectious and while you are unlikely to remember much of what you saw later, you will be entertained in the moment and with this kind of blockbuster, that's all you can ask.

Movie review: The Mule

The Mule (2018) 

Directed by Clint Eastwood 

Written by Nick Schenk 

Starring Clint Eastwood, Bradley Cooper, Laurence Fishburne, Michael Pena, Dianne Wiest, Andy Garcia 

Release Date December 14th, 2018 

Published December 13th, 2018 

Clint Eastwood’s career has been thought dead before but never by this critic. Never, until now. After suffering through his ‘experimental’ 15:17 to Paris earlier this year and now the misbegotten, The Mule, it feels as if Eastwood’s career as an auteur director is unquestionably over. Gone are the days of Unforgiven, Mystic River and Million Dollar Baby, deliberate and painstaking mood pieces that mixed character and drama brilliantly. 

Now we have movies like The Mule where the diminishing returns of Eastwood’s cranky old racist character have finally reached their ugly nadir. The Mule is Eastwood at his most tone deaf, and I’m not talking about his political incorrectness, this is a full fledged failure and not some political screed. The Mule isn’t merely proudly un-PC, it’s downright anti-intelligent. Where Eastwood used to be able to make up for story flaws with strong film-making, his ear for dialogue has gone deaf and his eye for visual flair is nearly blind. 

The Mule stars Eastwood as Earl Stone, a famed grower of Day-lilies. There is no need to remember this detail, it will play no role whatsoever in the movie. It’s an extraneous detail that plays like a failed rough draft that was never corrected in rewrites. That explanation may also work to answer Eastwood’s embarrassing early scenes in which he attends a flower show and delivers non-sequitur dialogue that would make Tommy Wiseau wince in recognition.

Earl chose flowers over his family, choosing the flower show over attending his daughter’s wedding The movie is so clumsy in detail that it makes it seem as if Earl has shown up at the wedding, he’s at a bar where there is a wedding party, before cutting to his having missed it and not speaking to his daughter (Alison Eastwood) again for more than a decade. He somehow manages to have a close relationship with his granddaughter, Ginny (Taissa Farmiga), though how he managed that without speaking to his daughter for most of the girl’s life is another clumsy detail in a series of dropped plot threads. 

Again, none of this matters to the central plot of The Mule. Yes, Earl’s strained relationship with his family, including his openly antagonistic relationship with his ex-wife, Mary (Dianne Wiest), is supposed to inform his character’s decisions in the main plot but the story is so muddled that he could have jettisoned the family story and it would not have altered the main narrative one iota. The Mule is shockingly lazy that way. 

The main plot of The Mule finds Earl down on his luck with his flower farm in foreclosure. Desperate for money, Earl accepts a shady job from a lowlife friend of his granddaughter. The job involves getting paid big money to drive drug shipments from Texas to Earl’s home city of Peoria, Illinois. Earl is perfect for the job because as an old white man driving a pickup truck, he is the single least likely person on the planet to get pulled over. That's not intended as trenchant observation of Police corruption however, that's more this writers observation than anything the movie characters have considered. 

No joke, he drives without a seat belt on for most of the movie and is never in danger of being stopped by police This could be a great opportunity to examine privilege and stereotypes but Eastwood shows no interest in exploring why an old white guy seemingly never has to worry about being questioned by authorities. Instead, the film appears to be a comic drama about Eastwood singing country songs in the cab of his truck while delivering load after load of illicit drugs. 

There is, I guess, some danger in the plot. The drug dealers threaten Earl’s life a lot and wave guns around a lot but he doesn’t react to any of it, as if age means that you don’t fear death or being beaten by drug dealers anymore. As much as money is his motivation, boredom could also play a role in Earl’s choice to become a mule. There appear to be no stakes on the line for Earl who uses his advanced age as an excuse to do whatever he wants. 

Perhaps that’s meant to be funny, Earl’s give no you know what attitude. Indeed, Eastwood could have been playing for laughs but there is nothing in Eastwood’s direction that indicates he’s being anything less than serious about this story. Just because it is terribly clumsy doesn’t mean it isn’t also dour in that way that bad melodramas are always dour as a way of seeming more dramatic than they really are. 

The Mule is downright dreary as it trudges to a finish that is unpredictable only because it is so messy it’s impossible to predict where we are headed. The film has no narrative momentum, it has no forward motion at times, scenes start, linger and peter out before being replaced by another. The scenes of Eastwood driving and singing along to old country and pop songs are endless and repeated to a torturous degree. 

Eastwood’s decline as a director is stunning. I won’t attribute it to his age because I still believe him capable of delivering a good movie. I think the issue is that he no longer cares for making movies. It’s my feeling that he likes keeping busy and collecting paychecks. 15:17 to Paris and The Mule are movies from a filmmaker who has nothing better to do and decided that making a movie with his buddies is a good way to pass the time.  Here’s hoping Mr. Eastwood had a better time making The Mule than we did watching it.