Movie Review: Four Christmases

Four Christmases (2008) 

Directed by Seth Gordon 

Written by Jon Lucas, Scott Moore, Matt R. Allen, Caleb Wilson, 

Starring Vince Vaughn, Reese Witherspoon, Mary Steenburgen, Jon Favreau, Tim McGraw, Sissy Spacek

Release Date November 26th, 2008 

Published November 27th, 2008

It's just not that funny. I watch and I want to laugh. I feel for that tickle at the back my throat. I try and force it a few times. It just doesn't come. You know why? Because, Four Christmases starring Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon just isn't funny. The trailer was funny. I laughed a few times during the two and a half minute teaser.

I watched the movie, nothing. No laugh. Not even a chuckle. I sighed deeply once and it could have been mistaken as a laugh. But no. The movie isn't funny.

Brad (Vaughn) and Kate (Witherspoon) have been together for three years with no want for marriage or children. They really aren't keen on family at all. Thus why every Christmas they lie to their families and escape to some exotic isle. This year, they are off to Fiji until weather grounds their plane and they are captured on TV being forced to stay in country.

Plot forces require that each of four parents, now all separated, see the same news report and press the guilt button. Each parent will be visited and each will bring about a new kind of torture.

Robert Duvall and Sissy Spacek are Vaughn's parents while Mary Steenburgen and Jon Voight act as Witherspoon's sires. Each offers opportunities for laughs and yet none provide. Director Seth Gordon assigns each of these legendary performers a personality but forgets to offer any plot assistance.

Duvall is a bully, as are the assigned brothers Jon Favreau and Tim McGraw, randomly assigned as cage fighters. Are you laughing yet? Spacek is a space cadet who has married again to one of Brad's friends (Patrick Van Horn in a 'hey that guy was in Swingers' cameo'). Are you laughing now? How about if mom and new boyfriend repeatedly mention their sex life? Nothing?

Steenburgen, as Witherspoon's Kate warns us, is a cougar. She immediately is welcoming to Brad, willing to humiliate her daughter to make Brad ever more uncomfortable. Ha! No. Yeah, me neither. What if I throw in the fact the cougar mom is also a jesus freak and is dating a pastor played by Dwight Yoakam? What if the pastor forces Brad and Katie to play Mary and Joseph in a church pageant? Still nothing?

Finally there is Jon Voight who apparently said no to his assigned persona. Instead Voight plays benign presence to play against the craziness of everyone else. It works only to highlight the irritating, over the top absurdity of the other characters. But atleast Voight doesn't embarrass himself, which is I'm guessing, his goal for this role.

Seth Gordon is a comedically tone deaf director who pays off would be jokes two minutes before they actually happen. Truly, if you cannot see these 'jokes before they actually happen you may be having a stroke, seek medical help. Predictability is a sin that few can be forgiven for. I expect it from say, The Transporter where I would be disappointed if Jason Statham didn't drive fast and blow stuff up good.

I doubt the makers of Four Christmases put even that much thought into making this movie. They merely manufactured an idea. Cut characters out of a book of personality traits, filmed them and assembled them in number order. Whether the result was funny or even modestly amusing not so much a concern as getting the Christmas set film into theaters by the holidays to capitalize on tired, turkey and shopping attled masses seeking mindless distraction.

Say, I can recommend this movie. If you are in a tryptophan coma or blinded by the blue light special, Four Christmases is playing in a theater where you can sit in peace and quiet and not be bothered for 90 minutes.

Movie Review: Country Strong

Country Strong (2011) 

Directed by Shana Feste

Written by Shana Feste

Starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Garrett Hedlund, Leighton Meester, Tim McGraw

Release Date January 7th, 2011 

Published January 8th, 2011 

Country Strong is a stunningly bad movie. An overwrought tale of addiction, failed romance and country music, Country Strong was written and directed by Shana Feste as two different movies. One version of Country Strong is a straight drama about a falling star and the other is a gritty indie drama about an alcoholic struggling to get clean in the harsh light of fame. Director Feste crashes these two movies into one another and the result is a massive wreck at the corner of Lifetime Movie Network and the Independent Film Channel.

Gwyneth Paltrow stars in Country Strong as Kelly Cantor a country diva who evokes what Taylor Swift might look and sound like in 20 years. As we join the story Kelly is in rehab for some yet to be revealed reason. In treatment she is being romanced by an orderly named Beau (Garrett Hedlund, Tron Legacy) who happens to be a small time country singer. We know there is romance here because of their moony exchanges while Beau tries out a song for the diva in her room.

The rehab idyll is broken up by the arrival of Kelly's husband James (Tim McGraw) who announces that Kelly is leaving rehab early to get back out on the road and reclaim her career. In a fit of bad judgement James is sending his wife back out on the road just 6 months after her breakdown on stage during a concert in Dallas. Moreover, genius James is sending her back to Dallas for her big comeback show at the end of the tour.

Joining Kelly as her opening act is 19 year old Chiles Stanton (Leighton Meester) a mousy wannabe Carrie Underwood with the brains of Kellie Pickler. James chose Chiles personally and the sexual tension between the married man and the rising teen diva is yet another of James's brilliant moves that seem orchestrated to drive his already fragile wife over the edge. Thankfully, Kelly has brought Beau along as both a lover and protector.

The creepy love quadrangle is one of the stranger touches of Country Strong as bot James and Beau lust after the teenager while sleeping with Paltrow's troubled 40 year old alcoholic. This is part of the wannabe indie vibe that writer-director Shana Feste wants to make even as most of the movie is a big, glossy, classically showbiz drama.

The dissonant tone of Country Strong clangs and bangs along and Shana Feste matches it with a shooting and editing style as clunky and discordant as the two movies she is banging into one. Scenes begin and end in strange places at odd angles and at times all we in the audience can do is laugh at the oddity of what we are witnessing.

How strange and out of tune is Country Strong? The one actual country music star in the cast doesn't sing until the closing credits. While actors Gwyneth Paltrow, Garrett Hedlund and Leighton Meester play singers and get on stage, the one person to actually sell a few country records, country superstar Tim McGraw is the one person on the screen called upon just to act.

That's not to say that the music of Country Strong suffers for having actors playing singers; each of the stars actually come off surprisingly well. Gwyneth Paltrow gave fans an earful of her warble in the long forgotten karaoke drama Duets singing alongside Huey Lewis. In Country Strong Gwyneth's voice is stronger and more confident bringing to mind a slightly less engaging Shania Twain.

Garrett Hedlund as Beau is the films one true revelation. Hedlund has a terrific deep drawling voice that fits perfectly the old school, twangy laden country songs that are Beau's forte. Leighton Meester's meek voice is well cast. The Gossip Girl star fits perfectly the role of the pretty pop country star whose best work is created in the studio with the aid of a great producer who can hide her faults.

When Country Strong takes to the stage things get lively and fun. Off of the stage Country Strong is a disaster of high camp melodrama and wannabe indie movie grit. If writer-director Shana Feste had embraced this trainwreck with a bit of irony and humor she might have turned Country Strong into a honky tonk Black Swan with Gwyneth as the cracked diva, Leighton Meester as a ditzy version Mila Kunis's scheming wannabe and McGraw taking on Vincent Cassell's taskmaster with a Tennesse twang replacing the haughty Frenchness.

It would cost the film Hedlund's voice, his character is far too earnest to survive this version of Country Strong, but it would be a better and far more interesting movie and it would free Hedlund to go make a real country record of his own. I know, I have to review the movie that was made and not dream of the movie I wish were made but I had little else to do while I waited out Country Strong's final odd yet somehow conventional twist.

Movie Review: Flicka

Flicka (2006) 

Directed by Michael Mayer

Written by Mark Rosenthal, Lawrence Konner

Starring Alison Lohman, Tim McGraw, Maria Bello, Ryan Kwanten

Release Date October 20th, 2006

Published October 22nd, 2006

My Friend Flicka starring Roddy McDowell is a family movie staple. The story of a troubled boy and the horse who saved his life and inspired him is a staple of the family movie genre, a story reformed and retold in a number of different ways. More than 50 years later Flicka returns to the big screen, a different gender at it's center, but the same basic story of family, growing up and beautiful horses in place.

Empty and uninspired, this new Flicka is, thankfully, not a total rehash of the original film but is not much of an improvement either.

16 year old Katie (Alison Lohman) has just flunked her end of year exam. Rather than writing the essay required of her, Katie spent 2 hours staring out the window dreaming of her horses back on her family farm. She is returning home when the test is over and will once again get to feel the wind in her hair on the back of a horse, her favorite feeling in the world.

Katie returns home to a loving family that includes her father; Rob (Tiim Mcraw), Mom; Nell (Maria Bello) and older brother; Howard (Ryan Kwanten). Her father soon finds out that she has failed the important test and the testy dynamic of this father-daughter relationship is set. Despite dad's admonitions, the first chance Katie gets she is on the back of a horse and hitting the backwoods trails.

It is on this backwoods jaunt that Katie comes across a wild black mustang that she comes to call Flicka. Her father, fearing a mustang that might rattle his domesticated quarter horses, orders Katie to stay away from the mustang. However, when the mustang rescues Katie from a cougar attack, he is brought to the farm. Can Katie train Flicka and come to ride her or will dad sell Flicka to a rodeo manager (Nick Searcy) who has developed a dangerous new sport around wild horses.

If you think that the horse's wild, untamed spirit matches that of our heroine, well, of course your right. That is the most basic distillation of the plot. The horse and Katie are one in the same and that is the movie's fundamental premise. That, along with dad coming to understand his rebellious daughter and Katie beginning to grow up and reign in her wild ways make up a very simple three act structure as predictable as the alphabet.

Director Michael Mayer, whose Home At The End of the World was a lovely paean to a unique dysfunctional family, directs Flicka as if he were a factory film director his whole career. The film is machine made and polished, lifted from typical family movie molds and reaching theaters seemingly untouched from screenplay to screen.

Little girls love horses and Flicka bursts at the seams with loving shots of horses in stride. Flicka herself is a beautiful black horse with a gorgeous untamed mane and a wild spirit. Scenes of Alison Lohman riding Flicka framed against the mountain ranges of Wyoming with the sun beaming down are truly splendid images that will dazzle any horse lover.

Country star Tim McGraw acquits himself well as Katie's strict but loving father. His contribution to the films soundtrack however, the single My Little Girl, is one of the most gut wrenchingly sappy tunes this side of Barry Manilow. My Little Girl is the first song in McGraw's career that he has written and produced himself, he may want to consider never doing that again.

Rote family movie conventions rendered against a lovely sunlit, mountain background, Flicka is quite attractive but still an empty vessel. As the coming of age story of a troubled young girl; Flicka hits all of the expected notes and hits them about as well as they can be hit. If you can endure predictable, manufactured family movie devices meant to elicit tears and hugs, then Flicka is the movie for you.

Movie Review The Blind Side

The Blind Side (2009) 

Directed by John Lee Hancock

Written by John Lee Hancock 

Starring Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, Quinton Aaron, Lily Collins, Kim Dickens, Kathy Bates

Release Date November 20th, 2009 

Published November 19th, 2009 

Until this past summer and the hit comedy "The Proposal" Sandra Bullock had been wandering in the woods in Hollywood. Now, after her summer blockbuster and despite the disastrous shelf-dweller “All About Steve,” Sandra Bullock is back on top in a big way with “The Blind Side.” Starring as the matriarch of one exceptionally compassionate family, Bullock shows never before seen range and depth in a story of great warmth and strength.

Michael Oher (Quinton Aaron) was a 16 year old kid with few prospects for the future. Living part time on the streets, and the couch of friends and extended relatives when he could, Michael got a small but urgent break. Because of his immense size and athleticism a football coach at a small Tennessee Christian high school pushed and got him enrolled.

That was only the beginning. Michael, still living on the streets, had only a 4th grade reading comprehension. He had no school transcripts and the teachers at his new school had little patience. It was then that fate intervened in the forceful form of Leigh Anne Tuohy (Bullock.) Seeing poor Michael late one night after a sporting event wandering in the cold wearing only shorts and a t-shirt, Leigh Ann invites him home.

Michael intended to stay only a night but a night became a week and then a month and soon he was family, fitting in well with new little brother S.J (Jae Head) and eventually with sister Collins (Lily Collins). He also found a strong father figure in Sean Tuohy (Tim McGraw) , an athlete in his own right who pushes Michael to join the football team.

While Sean is supportive it is Leigh Ann that is the driving force in changing Michael's life, he eventually comes to call her mama. In a scene that has been prominently figured into the movie trailer; Leigh Ann is the one who explains to Michael just what a left tackle does on the football field. It's a little cheesy, but the scene plays and so does this movie.

Based on the book "The Blind Side: An Evolution of a Game" by Michael Lewis, The Blind Side is one extraordinary true story. Michael Oher is today a multi-millionaire left tackle for the Baltimore Ravens. The real life Tuohy's did indeed bring Michael into their lives and were there the day he was drafted into the NFL. Michael's story was ready made for the movies.

Writer-Director John Lee Hancock has experience with inspirational true sports stories, he scored a hit for Disney in 2005 with the story of a 40 year old relief pitcher who gets his big break in the big leagues in "The Rookie". That film was a saccharine melodrama that suffered from cliché and lack of invention. 

Some of those same issues are present in "The Blind Side" but that is where Ms. Bullock's performance steps in. Leigh Ann Tuohy is a no nonsense character who keeps the artifice of the director at bay with grit and a lively sense of humor. When Leigh Ann does succumb to the emotion of a particular moment it has power because she has so assiduously avoided the simpleminded emotional moments offered earlier. 

Sandra Bullock drives "The Blind Side" over the potholes of pedestrian direction. She gives the film resonance and emotional strength and she is aided greatly by newcomer Quinton Aaron who's gentle, teddy bear-like performance is a total winner. It's hard to believe an NFL lineman could be as amiable as Aaron's Michael Oher but I would like to believe it.

The real life Michael Oher story has quite a few differences from what you see in "The Blind Side'' but for what it is, a Hollywood-ized melodrama, "The Blind Side'' is a warm compassionate fairytale come true featuring a career best performance from an actress long ago written off as a comedienne on the downside of her box office career. Welcome back Sandra Bullock.