The Girl Next Door (2004)
Directed by Luke Greenfield
Written by Luke Greenfield, Stuart Bloomberg, 3 Other Screenwriters
Starring Emile Hirsch, Elisha Cuthbert, Timothy Olyphant, James Remar, Paul Dano
Release Date April 9th, 2004
Published April 10th, 2004
When do you think Hollywood ran out of original ideas? It's been awhile I know that, but I never imagined just how bad things were until I saw the latest commercial campaign for the teen sex comedy The Girl Next Door. The ad campaign actually touts the film’s lack of an original idea, calling the film American Pie meets Risky Business. This isn't the first unoriginal idea but it's the rare example of a film that doesn't try to hide it in some way. The Girl Next Door comes right out and admits that it has not one original idea and watching the film reinforces just that.
Emile Hirsch stars as Matthew. He’s class president, valedictorian and on his way to law school at Georgetown University. That is until he meets the titular girl next door, Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert). The two kids meet cute as Matthew spies on Danielle from his bedroom window. She catches him and turns the tables on him, taking him out for some public humiliation, the funniest moment in the film.
From there begins a rather dull movie courtship where the straight-laced Matthew comes out of his shell with the help of the wild child Danielle. Like every romantic comedy, there is a roadblock and this one is a doozy. It seems that in a previous life, Danielle was a pornstar and her past is catching up with her in the form of her former director Kelly (Timothy Olyphant). Kelly wants her back in front of the camera and will do anything to get her back. It's up to Matthew and a pair of his high school buddies to help her find a way out.
I will give the ad campaign of the film a little credit, it doesn't lie. The film does indeed lift liberally from both American Pie and Risky Business. In fact, Risky's writer-director Paul Brickman should be seeking a writing credit and some compensation for the direct rip-offs employed by director Luke Greenfield and writers David Wagner and Brent Goldberg. Simply switch the film’s porno storyline with Risky's hooker storyline and you have nearly the same film.
Whereas Tom Cruise's character becomes a pimp in order to pay off Rebecca Demornay's debt to Joe Pantoliano, Emile Hirsch's Matthew directs a porn film with the help of Danielle's porn star friends to pay off her debt to Timothy Olyphant’s Kelly. Where Cruise and Demornay have sex on the subway, Hirsch and Cuthbert have sex in a limousine. And on and on.
There was one good thing about Girl Next Door and that was the lovely Elisha Cuthbert who, despite a weak script that does her few favors, manages to shine with a sweet and sexy performance. Cuthbert helps Hirsch's rather weak performance when they are on screen together, but when it's just Hirsch, the star of the terrific indie film The Secret Lives Of Altar Boys, he and the film struggle mightily. Hirsch may have a bright future ahead of him but he needs to choose his scripts better. More Alter Boys style stuff and no more teen sex comedies.
The Girl Next Door is yet another example of cynical Hollywood filmmaking that puts demographics ahead of actual filmmaking. This is a film that was approved in the pitch meeting by executives who didn't care if there was a good script as long as they had the right amount of T&A; to parade in front of the camera and enough familiar elements to lull audiences into mindless nostalgia. I can't register honest surprise about this film but I can lament it and decry it.
