Movie Review The Haunted Mansion

The Haunted Mansion (2003) 

Directed by Rob Minkoff 

Written by David Berenbaum 

Starring Eddie Murphy, Terence Stamp, Wallace Shawn, Jennifer Tilly 

Release Date November 26th, 2003 

Published November 25th, 2003 

It may be time to finally put our memories of Eddie Murphy 'comic genius' away for good. It seems we will never see Murphy's talent ever again. With every mediocre family movie in which he picks up an eight figure paycheck, the Eddie Murphy of our memory dies a little. Eddie can't go and make an edgy, raunchy, action comedy anymore because it might cost him his next family movie paycheck. With his latest mediocre family movie, The Haunted Mansion, Murphy pounds yet another nail into the coffin of his former comic persona.

In The Haunted Mansion, which is based on the Disney theme park ride, Murphy is real estate maven Jim Evers of Evers and Evers Real Estate. The family's cringe-inducing catchphrase is “Evers and Evers making your family happy for Evers and Evers.” Yikes. In an all too familiar plot, Jim works way too much, and his wife Sara (Marsha Tomason) is upset that he doesn't spend enough time with the kids, daughter Megan (Aree Davis) and son Michael (Marc John Jeffries).

To that end, Jim proposes a family trip to the lake with no work at all for the entire weekend. No work until a new client comes calling with a huge property to sell. It's a gothic 1800s mansion called Gracie Manor and if the Evers want the listing they have to come immediately. In what is supposed to be a quick detour from their trip, the family stops at Gracie Manor to meet the owner and wind up spending the night with ghosts, zombies, and various other horror movie staples.

The ghosts in the Haunted Mansion are Master Gracie (Nathaniel Parker) and his staff, headed up by Ramsley (Terrence Stamp) the butler and his assistants played by Wallace Shawn and Dina Spybey. Jennifer Tilly also shows up as a gypsy in magic ball. The ghosts of Gracie Manor can only escape if their curse is lifted and the vagaries of the curse involve a woman who looks exactly like Sara Evers. When Sara is captured by the ghosts, it's up to Jim to save her and find some other way to lift the curse.

Eddie Murphy, as he does even in his worst films, shows flashes of the kind of comedy we know he's capable of. Murphy remains charismatic and occasionally that comic spark comes back. But sadly, for the most part, Eddie Murphy in The Haunter Mansion is in pick up a check mode. Murphy's Jim Evers is a bumbling scaredy cat channeling Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein, until it's time for him to save the day. That might not sound bad but Murphy's strength is not being Abbott or Costello and his idea of broad physical comedy is forced and unpleasant. 

Poor Terrence Stamp looks, in every scene, as if he can barely keep from rolling his eyes. Stamp's boredom with this lame material is evident in his every gesture, facial expression and line of dialogue. Like Murphy, he's not here to make The Haunted Mansion good, he's here to get his paycheck and go do something else. This is a feeling that permeates the entirety of The Haunted Mansion, a complete disinterest in actually making a good movie. 

Director Rob Minkoff is one of those studio hacks that Disney keeps on the payroll just for movies like this: Mediocre, inoffensive family comedies that need merely to transfer script to screen. Minkoff shows little directorial flair in The Haunted Mansion. It's likely he could spend his entire career turning out mediocre hits like this one or another Stuart Little movie. The Haunted Mansion is not an offensively bad movie. Merely a mediocre movie. Of course I've often wondered just which is worse, mediocre or just plain bad.

Movie Review The Adjustment Bureau

The Adjustment Bureau (2011) 

Directed by George Nolfi 

Written by George Nolfi 

Starring Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, Anthony Mackie, John Slattery, Terence Stamp 

Release Date March 4th, 2011

Published March 3rd, 2011 

Fate versus free will is the debate at the heart of “The Adjustment Bureau,” or so the movie wants you to believe. There is little ambiguity about the side the film comes down on: Both Sides. Surprise! A mainstream entertainment that tries to be all things to all sides; hey taking a side might cost a potential ticket buyer.

As irksome as the compromised plot of “The Adjustment Bureau” is, I can't stay mad at the movie because the makers placed Matt Damon and Emily Blunt at the center of their faux conflict. Damon and Blunt have such wonderful, unforced romantic chemistry that “The Adjustment Bureau” adjusts from a bad idea to a not terrible bit of romantic goofery.

Matt Damon stars in “The Adjustment Bureau” as Congressman David Norris, a rising star and bad boy Democrat. We meet David as he is running for Senate from the great state of New York and falling victim to one of the lamest scandals ever to befall a politician, especially one from New York.

With his campaign derailed, David is preparing his concession speech in a hotel men's room when he meets Elise (Blunt), hiding out in said men's room to avoid hotel security. She hears much of David's lame speech and unintentionally nudges him toward something slightly more genuine.

What we see of the speech doesn't really warrant the political superstardom the movie claims for David but maybe the better stuff is on the editing room floor. It doesn't really matter, the film's depiction of politics is not central to the plot which really kicks in after David takes a private sector gig, working for his pal Charlie (Michael Kelly).

Men in hats played by Anthony Mackie and Mad Men's John Slattery have been shadowing David since we met him and after he loses they step in to inform us that David has to have his path adjusted. It will be Mackie's job to slow David down on his way to work so an adjustment can be made at work. When that slowdown doesn't happen, David winds up meeting Elise again and his path gets out of control.

The man in charge or the Chairman or God or whatever, doesn't want David and Elise together; it's not part of David's life plan which may or may not involve the Presidency. Should David choose to continue pursuing Elise he will be lobotomized and the process will begin all over again, just with someone other than David.

Unfortunately, David's attraction to Elise is more powerful than the threat to becoming President or potential frontal lobe dismemberment. He chases her down and when one of the adjusters decides to help him out, plans begin to diverge toward chaos.

The ideas in “The Adjustment Bureau” are interesting but they are not all that well explored. The film is based, not surprisingly, on a short story by Phillip K. Dick which explored the theme of fate versus free will in a more thorough and concise manner in a much shorter amount of time.

Writer-director George Nolfi appreciates the ideas of Dick's story but his movie doesn't really explore the themes. Instead, we get a lot of chase scenes and scenes between Matt Damon and Emily Blunt that do well to distract us and then scenes with Damon and Anthony Mackie that remind us that the movie isn't very good.

Nothing against Mackie, it's not his fault that his character is more functionary than character. The same goes for John Slattery and Terrence Stamp who don't so much have character arcs as spots they have to hit in order to throw a wrench in Damon's plans. That wouldn't be so bad if they at least had interesting things to say, maybe if they were funny or brought any real energy to their work. 

But no, these adjuster characters have few emotions beyond being tired from their ungodly workload; there are several billion people with paths to adjust. Their dialogue is mostly expository with Mackie coming off, at times, like he has one of those videogame bubbles over his head in order to illustrate the instructions Damon must have for his next move in the game. 

Now, it sounds like I hated “The Adjustment Bureau” but I don't. Despite the major plot issues I walked out of “The Adjustment Bureau” smiling thanks to stars Matt Damon and Emily Blunt. Damon is at his charismatic best investing David Norris with the oily charm of a politician and the ability to convert genuinely into an average guy. 

When Damon is opposite the beautiful Ms. Blunt his eyes light and the whole movie seems to perk up. Emily Blunt has that essential quality of a star ingenue; beauty combined with that something behind the eyes that holds an audience in rapt attention to whatever she is trying to communicate. These two brilliant people together are irresistible and when the rest of the plot gets out of their way, it works. 

Is that really enough to recommend “The Adjustment Bureau?” Well, for me it is. It's hard to say whether this appeal will be there for all audiences; fair to guess that many people will be so disappointed with the failed sci-fi plot that they can't like the movie. For me, Damon and Blunt are worth the price of a ticket and in the future, easily worth a look at the Redbox.

Movie Review: Valkyrie

Valkyrie (2008) 

Directed by Bryan Singer 

Written by Christopher McQuarrie, Nathan Alexander 

Starring Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, Terence Stamp

Release Date December 25th, 2008 

Published December 24th, 2008 

Why? Why did Bryan Singer, Christopher McQuarrie and Tom Cruise attempt to turn Valkyrie, the story of a failed attempt to kill Hitler in 1944, into a suspense thriller? As stated in my brief description, it's a FAILED attempt to kill Hitler. Anyone who thinks that is a spoiler needs a history class and not a trip to the movies. The choice to frame the story of German hero Claus Von Stauffenberg as a thriller is a damning choice that dooms Valkyrie from beginning to end.

Tom Cruise essays the role of Klaus Von Stauffenberg as a man who was already disillusioned with Hitler's Germany before he was approached about killing the Fuhrer. Having been sent to North Africa to fight on a losing front of Hitler's war expansion, Stauffenberg urged a higher ranking official to contravene orders and get the soldiers out of Africa.

Before he can give the order the higher ranking officer is killed and Stauffenberg is badly wounded. He lost his right eye and right hand in the attack and was returned to Berlin. There he is approached by Major-General Tresckow about joining a group of Generals and politicians who want to overthrow Hitler.

They think they can get the job done politically. Stauffenberg however, has a more permanent idea. He and others advocate the idea that Hitler must die if there is to be change in Germany. And, he even has a political plan as a backup. It's called operation Valkyrie and if executed perfectly it could allow for an orderly change of power once Hitler is dead.

We know going in that Stauffenberg was executed for attempting to kill Hitler with a bomb at the Fuhrer's Wolf's Lair hideout. The complicated plot was ingenious and the resistance lead by Stauffenberg has been deified by those in Germany desperate for the rest of the world to know that not all Germans followed in lockstep with the evil dictator.

There is more than enough drama in the ideas behind Stauffenberg and company's plot to make an interesting, historic epic. Unfortunately, the path chosen by those involved in the movie Valkyrie is to make a thriller based on the timing and execution of the Valkyrie plot, the one we already know fails. Worse yet, the failure is a piece of forced dramatics involving the weak will of one of the conspirators. 

How much of what we see is history and what is fiction is unknown but what is onscreen fails to be thrilling, suspenseful or even modestly compelling. I am one of the rare few admitted big fans of Tom Cruise. It has become quite fashionable to despise the former biggest star on the planet. I do not subscribe to that fashion. I think Cruise is one of the most charismatic and compelling leading men in Hollywood history.

That makes Valkyrie all the harder for me to watch. To play the Teutonic Stauffenberg Cruise dials down his most compelling aspect. He drowns his charismatic persona in a pool of dense concentration and the tightest sphincter this side of Nurse Ratchet. Generally, Cruise does uptight better than anyone. However, the schtick as in Jerry Maguire or Vanilla Sky is going from being uptight to allowing himself to lose control and go with the flow. Valkyrie calls for Cruise to be intense and stay that way and quickly that becomes stifling.

With his charisma dialed back Cruise's intensity becomes a serene mask of seriousness that just isn't suitable to him. It's the kind of ferocious inner fire that an actor like Joaquin Phoenix exudes with every breath. Cruise is more effective when he mixes aggravation with charm. Stauffenberg as written is charmless and Cruise is ill-suited.

Bryan Singer is too good a director for the film to fail in craftsmanship and there is nothing wrong with the construction of Valkyrie. Where the film fails is in the choice of trying to make it a suspense thriller. It's a simple question - how can you have suspense and thrills when you already know how everything turns out.

As Stauffenberg races from the Wolf's Lair thinking he has killed Hitler we aren't breathing heavy as he is because we know he failed. The scene is tragic but only in our minds. It's as if Singer and McQuarrie don't know it's tragic. To pretend that the outcome isn't known is an act of foolishness that undermines the tragedy and drama of the Stauffenberg plot.