Movie Review Made of Honor

Made of Honor (2008) 

Directed by Paul Weiland

Written by Deborah Kaplan, Harry Elfont

Starring Patrick Dempsey, Michelle Monaghan, Kevin McKidd, Kathleen Quinlan, Sidney Pollack

Release Date May 2nd, 2008

Published May 2nd, 2008

Forget about An Inconvenient Truth or Leonardo DiCaprio's recent enviro-doc The 11th Hour or any nature movie you've ever seen. The most environmentally conscious film ever is without a doubt the new romantic comedy Made of Honor, the first movie ever made entirely of recycled materials. Recycled script, recycled characters, recycled plot, recycled everything. There is in fact next to nothing in Made of Honor that isn't recycled from some other romantic comedy right down to the stock scenes of a chase to the church and a character who gets punched in the nose at a wedding.

Grey's Anatomy star Patrick Dempsey stars in Made of Honor as Tom, an amoral ladies man who lives to sleep with a different woman every night. He has the perfect set up, he sleeps with random babes but has his best friend Hannah to provide him with the kind of female companionship he truly desires. Unfortunately, Hannah has a trip to Scotland that disrupts Tom's set schedule. With Hannah out of the country and mostly out of touch Tom realizes that his life stinks without her. He decides that he loves her and will tell her when she returns. However, Hannah doesn't return alone.

While in Scotland she fell for a hunky Scot named Colin (Kevin McKidd) and accepted his proposal. On a whim, she is getting married and she wants Tom to be her Mate of Honor. If you can't predict what happens from there then you have likely never seen a romantic comedy before. From the chase to the church to someone getting punched out at the wedding, Made of Honor recycles every imaginable rom-com cliché. The movie, directed by Paul Weiland even tosses in some questionable low brow humor for good measure.

Made of Honor is so astonishingly clichéd and predictable that had it included an all cast sing along to a well known pop song it would tip completely over into an ironic rom com parody and I could recommend it. As it is, Made of Honor is an earnest attempt at romantic comedy that fails on familiarity alone. On most every level the film is... competent. Patrick Dempsey is appealing. Michelle Monaghan is love and everything from the supporting cast to the direction is competently crafted. The problem is we've seen it all before. The script from three different writers recycles every cliche in the book and somehow expects us to simply accept it.

No acceptance here, Made of Honor stinks like the compost of dozens of similar romantic comedies. No matter the appealing  elements we've seen it all before and thus there is no reason to see Made of Honor.

P.S

As for the bizarre title "Made of Honor". Now having seen the movie, I still can't make sense of it. Tom is the Maid of Honor but why the title goes with 'Made' is a complete mystery.

Movie Review Hannibal Rising

Hannibal Rising (2007)

Directed by Peter Webber

Written by Thomas Harris

Starring Gaspard Ulliel, Rhys Ifans, Dominic West, Gong Li, Kevin McKidd

Release Date February 9th, 2007 

Published February 9th, 2007

Writer Thomas Harris is wildly popular and tremendously overrated. Though Harris is the creator of the iconic serial killer Hannibal Lecter, the character only gained its legend through the skilled performance of Sir Anhony Hopkins in 1989's Silence Of The Lambs. Harris has a taste for the macabre and knows how to set a gory scene but as demonstrated in Hannibal Rising, his true talent lies in cannibalizing his past success.

Hannibal Lecter (Gaspard Ulliel) lost his parents to world war 2; but lost his little sister Mischa to murder. Her killers were thieves and opportunists who also looted Hannibal's home after his parents death. Led by a vicious, cold blooded man named Vladis Grutas (Rhys Ifans), this brutish lout did unspeakable things to survive the war but what they did to Mischa is too horrifying to recount.

Vowing revenge on his sister's killers, Hannibal fought his way out of captivity in a russian orphanage and made his way to France where his uncle has passed away but left behind the last shred of family Hannibal has left. His aunt is a beautiful asian woman, Lady Murasaki (Li Gong) who immediately takes to the troubled young teen. 

Hannibal is quick to fall for his aunt and when she is insulted by a butcher at an outdoor bazaar, Hannibal takes a swift and horrifying vengeance. Thus begins the life of one of the most bloody and terrifying killers in history. As luck would have it, the men who killed Hannibal's sister happen to have come to France. What luck.

Directed by Peter Webber, who made the sumptuous period romance Girl With A Pearl Earring, Hannibal Rising is gorgeously crafted. The sets, lighting and period details are spot on. The problems lie in Thomas Harris' script, a truncated version of a book that was truncated in its own right. The story lacks depth, it lacks character detail. The entire story trades on the legend we know from Silence of the Lambs and our fascination with the Hannibal Lecter character created by Anthony Hopkins.

Young French actor Gaspard Ulliel struggles mightily in the role of young Hannibal Lecter. Because Hannibal Rising exists to cannibalize the legend of Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs, Ullel is forced to suffer the comparison and he fails miserably. Ulliel is a slight, pale, almost ghostly presence who shows none of the charismatic menace necessary to bring the great Hannibal Lecter to life.

You can't blame the young Frenchman, he was in an untenable situation. No actor could have taken this role and made it work as it's written. This take on the life of Hannibal Lecter that attempts to take one of the screen's most terrifying villains and turn him into some comic book avenger hero, is a complete misfire. Part of the excitement and kink of Dr. Lecter was not knowing why he did what he did. That Lecter might kill a man for offending his taste is horrifying and exciting at once.

Rationalizing Hannibal and applying pseudo-psychology to his actions removes the kink that gave that edge to Hopkins' Lecter. Now, the easy response to that complaint is that this is not Hopkins' Lecter. My response to that is that if you make a Lecter movie it becomes about Hopkins' Lecter, especially when your story has little else to build around.

Hannibal Rising does a disservice to the legend of one of the screen's greatest villains. An almost whiny ringing of hands over the history of Hannibal Lecter, Hannibal Rising trades on the character's history at the expense of his legend. To fault Hollywood for grabbing at cash is a waste of time but when the artists start grabbing at the big money the way writer Thomas Harris has, that is when the art truly begins to suffer.

Movie Review The Last Legion

The Last Legion (2007) 

Directed by Doug Lefler 

Written by Jez Butterworth, Tom Butterworth 

Starring Colin Firth, Ben Kingsley, Aishwarya Ray, Peter Mullan, Kevin McKidd 

Release Date August 17th, 2007 

Published August 16th, 2007 

The Last Legion is meant to be a rousing retelling of Arthurian legend crossed with Roman history. With an international cast, including Oscar winner Sir Ben Kingsley and Indian superstar Aishwarya Rai, the movie should have been a well acted and lively entertainment. Unfortunately, with a corner cutting director and a desperately miscast lead, Colin Firth as a tough guy roman general, The Last Legion is just simply, one lousy movie.

Cobbling together elements of Arthur-ian legend and a bit of Julius Caesar, The Last Legion casts young Thomas Sangster (Love Actually) as Romulus; the last in the royal line of Caesars, the rulers of the Greek empire. When the goths sack Rome, Romulus and his teacher Ambrosinus (Sir Ben Kingsley) are taken hostage to the roman island of Capri. On the bright side, Capri is also the home of the legendary Caesarian sword Excalibur.

While young Romulas seeks the sword a coterie of Roman soldiers who survived the battle of Rome conspire to rescue Caesar/Romulus and whisk him away to the Eastern empire, the home of the staunchest of Greek allies in Persia. Led by General Aurelius (Colin Firth), and backed up by an Indian warrior named Mira (Aishwarya Rai), this tiny faction will give their lives for Caesar.

After the rescue things change quickly. The Eastern empire falls to the Goths and the remaining Romans are forced to journey to Britannia and rally the last remaining Roman army legion. There, they will face off with an evil British conqueror Vortgyn (Harry Van Gorkum) who seeks Excalibur and has a nasty history with Abrosinus.

I'm not quite sure what the point of all this legend retelling is. The Last Legion is not a rousing adventure or even a good war story. As directed by Doug Lefler (Dragonheart: A New Beginning) The Last Legion is a stale period movie dressed up with the occasional well staged sword fight and the lovely appearance of Indian star Aishwarya Rai.

Ms. Rai is a lovely presence but opposite Colin Firth as the 'manly' Roman general, she is at a loss to make this material work. Nothing against Mr. Firth as an actor but he doesn't exactly cut an action hero figure. His lilting accent and gentile British-ness just does not translate to being a Russell Crowe style Roman army legend. Even the great Sir Ben Kingsley isn't very good here. Kingsley, as he's shown in films as varied as Suspect Zero, Bloodrayne, and A Sound of Thunder has a tendency to choose some really bad roles. The Last Legion isn't quite as bad as those films but it's not very good either.

Rai, Kingsley and Firth are the good guys and we are bored by them. Even worse are the bad guys, a collection of unrecognizable character actors whose main talent seems to be seething and hissing through ugly piles of makeup or ridiculous looking masks. Director Doug Lefler's work is dull and uninspired and the scripting by Jez and Tom Butterworth (Birthday Girl) creates characters we don't care about and places them in situations we aren't interested in. Toying with dueling legends, Arthur and Caesar, even literate audiences are at a loss to make sense of or even care about the history of The Last Legion.

The Last Legion re-imagines two legends into one uninteresting adventure story. Colin Firth, often a very good actor, is desperately miscast as an action hero and though she is a sensational beauty, Aishwarya Rai fails to demonstrate her star power and is at a loss to overcome this dull story. Director Doug Lefler's experience comes mostly from the sets of Xena: Warrior Princess and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and while the low budget aesthetics may be OK for TV; the same approach doesn't work in feature films.

The Last Legion is only slightly better than your average Xena or Hercules episode, and slightly less historically accurate.