Classic Movie Review The Boogeyman (1980)

The Boogeyman (1980) 

Directed by Ullli Lommel 

Written by Ulli Lommel 

Starring Suzanna Love, Nicholas Love, John Carradine

Release Date November 14th, 1980 

Published June 6th, 2023 

I often find myself fascinated by the rudimentary elements of filmmaking. There are very basic things that a director must be able to accomplish in order to achieve a level of professionalism and competence. Director Ulli Lommel demonstrates a level of professionalism and competence in The Boogeyman, at least in the first to scenes in the film, the best scenes in the film. Beyond that, he's a crazy person who crafted a bizarre screenplay, much of which feels as if he was whipping it up on set as the film were being made in a slapdash attempt to meet some arbitrary filming deadline. 

The Boogeyman opens on a visually striking set piece. An older woman is lying on a couch and calling for her lover. He approaches and she proceeds to place her stocking over his head. At this point, we glimpse two children outside the window of the home. Through visual and context clues, it's clear that these two children belong to this woman, and she has left them outside of the home specifically so that she can be alone with this man. Seeing the children through the window infuriates the man and he proceeds to punish the older brother. 

He ties the boy to a bed, and this leads to a terrific series of horror visuals. The little sister, all of three years old, goes to the kitchen and finds a very large knife on the counter. The knife catches the moonlight and the incongruousness of a small girl, and a large knife provides a terrific horror movie shock. From there, we see the knife again as the little girl stands in her brother's doorway. For a moment, we wonder if she's about to murder him. Instead, she cuts her brother loose and hands over the knife to him. This leads to a sequence where the camera takes the position of the boy as he walks down the hallway. 

We see his arm as if it were our own. He walks down the hall to his mother's bedroom where she and the man, still wearing a stocking on his head, are about to make love. The boy proceeds to murder this man, stabbing him repeatedly in the back. I believe that this is a terrific sequence. It's followed by another basic and formal bit of visual storytelling. The story leaps ahead in time. We know this because the visual style, the cinematography is brighter and more modern. Our main clue however to this shift in time is a very simple pan across a crowd inside a church. 

Immediately following the murder, we are thrust to a new location, a cemetery. The camera flashes across several gravestones before coming to rest on a church where the sound of the scene is coming from. We jump cut inside and listen to the Priest delivering a sermon. The camera watches the Priest briefly before beginning a slow pan over the crowd at the church. This is a well done and yet incredibly basic bit of film language. As a trained audience member, we know that when the camera stops, it will stop on the protagonists of the film. It's something we all know instinctively and is rarely thought of or pondered. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

Movie Review The Burial

The Burial (2023) 

Directed by Michael Escalante 

Written by Michael Escalante 

Starring Faith Kearns, Spencer Wetzel, Aaron Pyle 

Release Date March 3rd, 2023

Published February 28th, 2023 

A man sits in the woods crying. In the foreground is a shotgun. That's the intriguing start of the horror flick, The Burial. The scene hard cuts to a suburban apartment where an adorable couple is having an adorable conversation and being adorable when the phone rings. The man in the woods, is Keith (Spencer Wetzel) and the man he has called is his brother, Brian (Vernon Taylor). Brian can hear the desperation in his brother's voice and agrees to go and see him at a cabin in the woods, near where the movie began. Brian's girlfriend, Molly (Faith Kearns), insists on going along despite Brian's warning that his brother is... troubled. 

The film establishes this point of intrigue, why is this man crying, why was the shotgun in the foreground as he cried? How are these things related? We will come to find out exactly what happened but first the movie settles us into who these people are before we set the plot mechanics in motion. Keith has shot a man and this man may or may not be dead. The supposedly dead man is Lenny (Aaron Pyle) and he haunts Keith's every moment. The choice of what to do about this dead or perhaps not dead man makes up the plot of The Burial. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Horror in the 90s Shakma

Shakma (1990) 

Directed by Hugh Parks, Tom Logan 

Written by Roger Engle

Starring Christopher Atkins, Amanda Wyss, Roddy McDowell 

Release Date October 5th, 1990 

Box Office Unknown 

Shakma has no right to be as entertaining as it is. This animal rampage horror movie, from the f*** around and find out tradition of horror films about man screwing with nature, manages to be wildly entertaining and modestly incompetent all at once. It's a weirdly delightful combination of low budget weirdness and inventive low budget filmmaking that manages to make a relatively unthreatening baboon into a mass murdering psycho beast through a combination of camera work, editing and terrible special effects. 

Shaka stars the King of Bland handsomeness, Christopher Atkins, as Sam, a medical student and researcher. Sam has spent the past year training a baboon named Shakma to follow commands and not be as aggressive as his species tends to be. Unfortunately for Sam, his Professor, Professor Sorensen (Roddy McDowell), doesn't have the patience to see if aggressiveness can be trained out of a Baboon. Professor Sorensen instead proceeds with an experimental brain surgery. It's a 50/50 bet that either Shakma will become a docile, friendly pet Baboon or a wild-eyed, aggressive killer. If that seems like a bad bet, congratulations, that's what the movie is about. 

No surprise, the surgery goes poorly and Shakma goes crazy, nearly killing a fellow student and rival of Sam, Richard (Greg Flowers). Sam is told to put Shakma down but he can't do it. Instead, he sedates his primate pal while expecting that Richard will throw his friend into the incinerator. Unfortunately for everyone, Richard is stopped by Professor Sorensen who wants to examine the corpse and instructs Richard not to cremate Shakma. This becomes important because the Med students are sticking around the school on this night to play a role playing game. 

In a wildly elaborate game, Sam, Richard, Professor Sorensen, are joined by Bradley (Tre Laughlin), Gary (Rob Edward Morris), and Sam's love interest, Tracy (Amanda Wyss), in this fantasy game that has the students solving clues and following a path to the top floor where a Princess, Richard's younger sister, Kim (Amanda Myers), waits to be rescued. As the game gets underway, and the players go off on their quest, Shakma wakes up and goes on a bloody killing spree. 

I'm almost embarrassed by how much I enjoyed Shakma. Most critics hated this film and they aren't wrong about its many, many flaws. Nevertheless, as the Baboon went about its rampage, I was having an absolute blast laughing at the foolish humans who keep wandering obliviously into danger. There is a wonderfully rich tradition of horror movies where man faces off with nature but most of those happen in nature. The medical school setting of Shakma is both a cover for a low budget shoot and a weirdly refreshing setting for a man vs nature horror story. 

Full review at Horror.Media 

Horror in the 90s Nightbreed

Nightbreed (1990) 

Directed by Clive Barker 

Written by Clive Barker 

Starring Craig Scheffer, David Cronenberg, Anne Bobby

Release Date February 16th, 1990 

Box Office Gross $16 million dollars 

Clive Barker wastes no time; you see his monsters before the credits roll in Nightbreed. In terms of visual storytelling, a wall of cave paintings tells us that the monsters here are ancient, perhaps a pre-cursor to, or a compatriot of, early man. If these cave paintings are telling a story, that's unclear. Holy crap! Again, we waste no time. A mess of monsters are racing about to a classically Danny Elfman score. The scene is very... Andrew Lloyd Webber. The monsters and the choreography of the chase is, at the very least Broadway inspired. 

This is a dream sequence which explains the highly theatrical production and the stage-setting for the action. Our lead character, Aaron Boone (Craig Scheffer) has awakened from a dream of these fantastical monsters and the way in which Cliver Barker self-inserts himself into the story is hard to miss here. Having his handsome main character dreaming up these fantastical monsters is a very obvious corollary to the writer-director-author who has, in fact, created these monsters for this movie. 

Nightbreed is based on the novel 'Cabal' by Clive Barker. Barker adapted the book into a screenplay and directed the film based on that screenplay from his own book. So, yeah, this is a Clive Barker joint through and through. I imagine having himself inserted as the main character, stopping just short of calling the character Clive and having him be a multi-hyphenate artist, won't be the last time we see parallels between Aaron, AKA Cabal, and his creator. 

Seemingly out of the blue we get a sequence of slasher horror that is among the best of the decade. Barker takes us to a random suburban home. A loving wife and her husband are laughing together and playful. They have a young son and he gives us the first sign of something unseemly occurring. The boy tells his mother that he's afraid and claims that he was kept awake by a 'bad man.' This bad man turns out to be the real deal, a slasher killer who makes an incredible first impression. 

Employing a a horror filmmaking trope, Barker has the mother open the freezer door in the kitchen. This serves to block a portion of empty space next to her. Naturally, the trained film watcher knows that when mom closes the freezer door, someone, or something, will be there and this scene will move jarringly from the suburban mundane to the terrifying. Here, since he's employing a familiar trope, Barker has to deliver something big. Something shocking. And boy does he deliver. 

A killer in one of the most terrifying masks we will see in 90s horror, is behind that freezer door. He immediately slashes mom to death with what is surely an incredibly sharp knife. The movement is swift and horrifying and your breath catches when you see it. The visual of the blood on the ground and the sight of apples that the mother was near or carrying covered in blood as the roll across the floor is a sublime horror visual. The gurgling of the mother character, having been slashed across the face and throat, and the seemingly realistic amount of blood, only serves to amplify the terror. 

Dad is next. The killer, wearing this incredibly scary mask and a long black trench coat, a look that evokes a much more frightening take on Claude Rains' The Invisible Man, enters the living room and shuts off the lights. In just a brief moment that superbly heightens the awfulness of what is to come, dad smiles to himself, assuming that his lovely wife has returned for more intimacy. He's wrong, of course, and that we know it and he doesn't adds another layer of deep dismay. Once dad is dead, the scene heightens again. 

Our mind flashes to that little boy at the top of the stairs. Knowing this, and taking remarkable advantage of our empathetic rooting interest, Barker chooses to move the camera to the child's perspective, looking down the stairs at the killer. Here, Barker masterfully pauses, giving us the brief hope that maybe the killer won't look for the boy, maybe the child will merely bea witnes to this terror. That hope is snuffed out as the killer's sickening gaze, through what looks like buttons where his eyes should be. The mask evokes another, much less well-known influence, 1976's The Town That Dreaded Sundown, a Charles B. Pierce directed film, and also a movie about a serial murderer in a mask. 

Does the child die? We don't know. in the moment but but it certainly did not appear that he had much chance of survival. I can't stress how great this scene is. In only his second feature film, following the less than stellar but entirely memorable, Hellraiser, Barker demonstrates masterful control over his camera, the patience of Hitchcock in letting his scene build while adding details to amp the moment, and an ingenious notion of how to end a scene thick with dread and intrigue. It's remarkable and I am shocked I've not heard about this scene before. 

Another example of Barker's growth as a director is his choice to follow this scene by letting off some steam. He needs to place his characters on a map for the story to proceed. Thus, Aaron is at work and his girlfriend, Lori (Anne Bobbi), drops in for a visit. She explains that she's going to be at a nightclub that night, performing as a singer. The dialogue is all exposition but it's not tedious as Aaron and Lori are making out almost the whole time, breaking for dialogue and an occasional breath. Scheffer and Bobbi have tremendous sexual chemistry so the making out is a good choice but we now also know where the characters are going to be and why. What looks like a superfluous scene then, is thus now a scene that has set the table for what is to come and established the couple even further as young lovers we want to see together again. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review The Outwaters

The Outwaters (2023) 

Directed by Robbie Banfitch 

Written by Robbie Banfitch 

Starring Robbie Banfitch, Angela Basolis, Scott Schamell

Release Date February 9th, 2023 

Published February 8th, 2023 

An opening series of cards tell us that a group of young people went missing on August 8th, 2017. We know this date because that was the date that one of these young people made a terrifying 911 call. Five years later, footage from memory cards found with a digital camera is found and that's what constitutes the entirety of The Outwaters, a found footage horror movie written and directed by and starring, Robbie Banfitch. 

The Outwaters recalls shockers such as Cannibal Holocaust or Martyrs in its dedication to being stunning. It's truly a movie you cannot prepare yourself for. You think you are ready; you think you know how to handle grisly movies and then you watch The Outwaters and your faith in your experiences as a moviegoer are shaken. I'm someone who has watched and reviewed movies online and in podcast format for two decades. I've seen more than my share of shockers and The Outwaters still shook me. 

I really don't know where to go with this review. The plot of the film is superfluous, intentionally so. It's a hanger, it's a prompt, a motivation used to plant four characters where they need to be in order to enact unimaginable horrors upon them. That's not a criticism, that's just the reality of what The Outwaters is. I find this film dreadfully effective even as I fully understand that there will be many who look at this film and can make no sense of it and dismiss it as exploitation or violent trash. 

I understand where you are coming from if you come away from The Outwaters with that feeling. I was leaning that direction for much of the movie. I honestly couldn't make out much of the middle portion of the movie. There are flashes of light here and there, swaths of bright red blood spread across barren desert floor, and strange looking creates that crawl around the ground. That said, so much happens in the dark that I could not tell you if we are dealing with aliens, demons, or a drug crazed violent rampage. 

The found footage aspect is not one that you should spend time lingering on as it raises too many unanswered questions. One that will plague the more logical filmgoers is who exactly was taking the time to change the memory card in the camera as all of the violent chaos is unfolding. Then again, you could ask of any found footage movie why people would keep a camera rolling while a horror movie plot is unfolding in their real life. Look, you're going to have to just go with it. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Leprechaun

Leprechaun (1993) 

Directed by Mark Jones

Written by Mark Jones 

Starring Warwick Davis, Jennifer Aniston, Ken Olandt, Mark Holton 

Release Date January 8th 1993 

Published January 9th, 2023 

Reflecting the movie Leprechaun 30 years later, it's a movie that should not exist. To steal phrase from a popular podcast, 'How did this Get Made?' How did a filmmaker look at a box of Lucky Charms and think to himself: Leprechaun horror movie. The existence of Leprechaun is perplexing enough but then, when you actually watch the movie, the questions only grow. This bizarre amalgamation of horror tropes, looney tunes gags, and endless continuity errors is undeniably entertaining but not for many of the reasons the filmmakers intended. 

Leprechaun begins on the sight of our titular anti-hero, the Leprechaun (Warwick Davis), savoring his pot of gold. Then, smash cut to a limousine somewhere in North Dakota. Inside the limo is Dan O'Grady (Shay Duffin), fresh from a trip to Ireland and flush with new found money. It seems that Mr. O'Grady, at some point unseen by us, captured and robbed the Leprechaun of his precious gold. Unfortunately for Dan and his beloved wife, Mrs. O'Grady (Pamela Mant), the Leprechaun wasn't keen on this idea and has followed Dan back to America for revenge. 

Cut to 10 years later. Dan O'Grady is gone after having trapped the Leprechaun in a crate in his basement with the aid of a four leaf clover, the kryptonite of the Leprechaun world. A father and daughter, J.D and Tory Redding, John Sanderford and Jennifer Aniston, are moving into the former home of the O'Grady's. Through a series of coincidences involving the unusual trio of young men hired to paint their new home, the titular Leprechaun escapes and goes on a rampage in search of his lost gold. 

Leprechaun began life as a straight ahead horror movie. Writer-Director Mark Jones admits that he looked at a box of Lucky Charms and that's where the idea came from. What with Halloween and Christmas having successfully launched horror franchises, why not St. Patrick's Day? That kind of mercenary logic is how you get something as strange and memorable as Leprechaun. This was 100% not a passion project for anyone, it was strictly a means to creating a cheap, repeatable holiday horror franchise. 

The only element that no one could have predicted was how much actor Warwick Davis would take to his Leprechaun character. The beloved star of Willow appears to delight in the role of a murderous Leprechaun. Davis is having a blast in this big broad character and it's hard not to enjoy just how much he is enjoying the nonsense he's involved in. Little of what he does or that the character is capable of makes any lick of sense, but Davis performs all the nonsense with such relish you can't help but have a little fun. 

Click here for my full length review at Horror.Media 

Horror of 2022

Let's rank the Horror Movies of 2022!

Rank	Item
1	Pearl
2	Nocturna Side A and Side B
3	We're All Going to the World's Fair
4	Godforsaken
5	Hatching
6	The Yellow Wallpaper
7	X
8	Men
9	Nope
10	Barbarian
11	Resurrection
12	Terrifier 2
13	Hellraiser
14	Orphan First Kill
15	Christmas Bloody Christmas
16	The Fireplace Adult Swim Yule Log Secret Movie
17	Studio 666
18	Kicking Blood
19	Fall
20	The Black Phone
21	All Jacked Up and Full of Worms
22	The Mean One
23	Violent Night
24	The Scary of 61st
25	Bodies Bodies Bodies
26	Children of Sin
27	Halloween Ends
28	The Invitation
29	Surrogate
30	Room 203
31	The Long Night
32	The Free Fall
33	The Legend of La Llorona
34	Rucker
35	The Curse of La Patasola
36	Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Classic Movie Review Halloween (1978)

Halloween (1978) 

Directed by John Carpenter 

Written by John Carpenter, Debra Hill 

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasance 

Release Date October 25th, 1978 

Halloween Franchise 

Is it possible that horror fans just like the musical score for Halloween 1978 and tolerate the movie that goes with it? I realize that this is a great offense to fans of the Halloween franchise but I just don't get the appeal of John Carpenter's original Halloween. The film is remarkably dull by the standards of the great horror movies I have seen in my now more than 20 years as a film critic. Halloween is outright boring aside from that remarkable score which is incredible at creating the tension that the characters and the slack scenes fail to establish. 

Halloween 1978 centers on Michael Myers who, as a child, murdered his sister in cold blood. Taken into a mental institution, Michael was locked away until the age of 21 under the treatment of Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance). In treating Michael, Dr. Loomis has come to see his patient as the closest thing to pure evil he's ever witnessed. Dr. Loomis has dedicated his career to making sure Michael Myers never gets out of custody. Unfortunately, on the night that Loomis is set to take Michael to an even more secure facility for rest of his natural life, Loomis finds that Michael has escaped. 

Driven by an unspecified motivation, Michael returns to Haddonfield, Illinois, his childhood hometown. There he sets his sights on several people he wants to kill. Among the likely victims is Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), a teenager with plans to babysit on this Halloween night. Halloween is when Michael killed his sister and it is this night that he hopes to return to killing. Another potential victim that catches Michael's eye is young Tommy Doyle (Brian Andrews), who happens to be the child that Laurie will be babysitting that night. 

It's quite a coincidence that Michael follows first Laurie and then Tommy as he would have no idea that Laurie is Tommy's babysitter but we are supposed to forget about such things. We are also supposed to not care that someone must have taken the time to teach the most dangerous inmate in a mental institution how to drive a car with such care that he can stealthily follow not one but two different, seemingly unrelated children. Halloween fans want us to pretend these inconsistencies don't exist but the movie does little to hide its own flaws. 

The other thing we are asked to ignore is how silly Michael Myers looks each time we see him. My favorite is a moment where Michael is stalking Laurie as she walks home from school. Laurie looks over her shoulder and sees Michael's hulking masked figure standing still and staring at her. She turns away and he's gone. Laurie's friend goes to see who might be messing with her friend and when she arrives at the hedgerow that Michael would seem to be hiding behind, he's gone. The clear indication here, aside from unspecified supernatural powers, is that Michael Myers, the cheeky prankster that he is, appeared in front of Laurie and then quickly ran away so as not to be caught. 

The mental image of a hulking mental patient in a Halloween mask running to hide from a pair of teenagers is hilarious. But then, ask yourself this, why? Why is Michael toying with Laurie? What does a mental patient get out of hiding in the hedges or hiding in Laurie's backyard or appearing to her outside her school? What does this have to do with anything Michael Myers has planned? I'm told that his lack of motivation is part of what makes Michael Myers so scary but then why is the rest of the franchise so dedicated to giving Michael a motivation? 

Halloween fans have hand-waved all of these weird inconsistencies for years. Things like why Michael stole his sister's headstone from her grave only to set it up in a random house where he has elaborately stored several of the bodies of various victims unrelated to his original murder? Nowhere during the original Halloween is it mentioned that Laurie and Michael are secret siblings, that's a retcon from Halloween 2. The fact that we ever found out that Laurie is Michael's sister reveals the cynicism of this franchise continuing beyond the ragingly mediocre original. 

The film was successful and marketers, seeing success, capitalized with a sequel. Fans of the aesthetic of Michael Myers, and John Carpenter's first rate score then dedicated themselves to lore building for the franchise to justify their enjoyment of such a nakedly commercial franchise. It's the calculated, capitalistic cynicism that bothers me about Halloween. John Carpenter made one of his most mediocre movies in 1978 and was roped to that movie by its unlikely success. 

Find my full length review of Halloween 1978 at Horror.Media

Movie Review Pearl (2022)

Pearl (2022) 

Directed by Ti West 

Written by Ti West 

Starring Mia Goth, David Corenswet, Tandi Wright, Emma Jenkins 

Release Date September 16th, 2022 

Prequel to X (2022) 

X was a brilliant homage to 70s grindhouse horror from a director in Ti West who has mastered the form of homage. My proof for for his mastery comes with his new movie Pearl. The horror movie starring the utterly brilliant Mia Goth, riffs brilliantly on MGM movies of the 30s and 40s mimicking them down to the credit font and pitch perfect score. Using the innocent memories of movies like The Wizard of Oz for a series of transgressive gags feels so fresh and different that this horror movie becomes honestly refreshing. 

Mia Goth stars as the title character, Pearl. Pearl is a teenage dreamer, a 19 year old who dreams of nothing but the burgeoning movie industry. The movies in her small hometown have become her home respite from a difficult home life. Pearl's mother, Ruth (Tandi Wright), is a severe German taskmaster who believes that her daughter should have to suffer as she has to provide a home and a roof over Pearl's head. Ruth has become the primary worker on their Texas farm after Pearl's father (Matthew Sunderland) was struck with Spanish Flu and suffered complete paralysis. 

The first indication that something might be a little off about Pearl comes via her father. After a night of arguing with her mother, Pearl takes her father to a pond on their land that is home to an alligator that Pearl has been feeding for some time. Pearl pushes dad's wheelchair to the edge of the dock while calling on the gator which responds to her. It appears that Pearl may dump daddy in the lake until mom arrives to make the save. The juxtaposition of Mia Goth's sweet, simple innocent look and the malevolence of her actions is part of the electric charge of watching Pearl. 

Similarly the way Pearl chooses to bathe in front of her father's paralyzed form, his darting eyes demonstrating his extreme discomfort, is another unsettling symbol of Pearl's transgressive personality. These scenes pitched against the numerous references to classic MGM musicals and those oh so innocent adventures of the 40s and 50s makes Pearl in general a movie that transgresses our expectations and conspires to make us part of dark meta joke of Pearl. 

Click here for my full length review of Pearl at Horror.Media. 

Movie Review Scream 4

Scream 4 (2011) 

Directed by Wes Craven

Written by Kevin Williamson

Starring Neve Campbell, David Arquette, Courtney Cox, Emma Roberts, Hayden Panettiere

Release Date April 15th, 2011

Published April 14th, 2011 

The original "Scream" in 1996 transformed a moribund genre. Horror had grown stale and predictable when "Scream" arrived and with its mix of horror movie inside jokes, ironic asides and better than average scares reinvented horror movies; giving the genre back the edge it lost with the 5th or 6th time Jason Voorhees came back from the dead and then went to space.

"Scream 2" had similar juice as the first; cleverly twisting the conventions of goofy horror sequels and using them to create laughs before dousing the humor with blood and screams. The third film lost the thread by going so far inside itself that neither the laughs nor the scares could escape.

Now we have "Scream 4" which picks up the action 10 years after the story of "Scream 3" and you have to wonder why Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) would ever go back to Woodsboro. Sure, she still has family there, her Aunt Kate (Mary McDonnell) and teenage cousin Jill (Emma Roberts) but still, going back to so much history and on the anniversary of the original killings no less, seems like a really bad idea.

Indeed, it is a bad idea as just before Sidney arrives two Woodsboro teens are killed while watching the movie 'Stab 7' based on the books by Gale Weathers (Courtney Cox) on the Woodsboro killings. Well, to be fair, as one of the soon to be murdered teens points out, the first three 'Stab' movies were based on the books; the next 4 were pale imitations of the first that even had Ghostface as a time traveler.

Back to Sidney, she has written a self help book based on her recovery from the trauma of surviving three separate mass murders. She has come back to Woodsboro at the behest of her publicist (Alison Brie) who can't wait to call the publishing company to tell them about the murders that she knows will spike sales of Sidney's book. Her bloodthirstiness is more of a commentary on modern marketing practice than any kind of clue to her being more of a character in this movie. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

Movie Review: The Ruins

The Ruins (2008) 

Directed by Carter Smith 

Written by Scott Smith 

Starring Jonathan Tucker, Jena Malone, Shawn Ashmore, Laura Ramsey, Joe Anderson 

Release Date April 4th, 2008

Published April 3rd, 2008 

For the past couple of years we have been saddled with horror porn assaulting moviegoers across the country with the ugliest possible images sick minds could think to film. This has served to both cause many critics to wretch uncontrollably and to distract critics from the other forms of junk horror being dumped onto the other screens. Take for instance The Ruins a goofball horror flick too squeamish to be horror porn but not smart enough or wild enough to be in the intellectual vain of Saw or the freewheeling thrills of Nightmare on Elm Street. Rather, The Ruins settles in to that awkward middle ground inhabited by junk horror like The Ring and The Grudge and other such ’The’ horror films.

Jonathan Tucker stars in The Ruins as Jeff a med student on vacation with his girlfriend Jenny (Jena Malone), her best friend Stacy (Laura Ramsey), and Stacy's boyfriend Eric (Shawn Ashmore). Together they have spent the week lounging by the pool and getting drunker and drunker. On their last day at this Mexican resort they have been enticed by a fellow traveler named Mathias (John Anderson) to get away from the drinks and the pool and get some culture. Mathias has a map to some ancient ruins that is not on any of the sanctioned maps of the countryside.

They will journey deep into the jungle where Mathias expects his brother will be waiting for them. The trip is not all that arduous, they find the ruins with little challenge. However, once they arrive at the ruins the tourists find themselves surrounded by locals who won’t let them leave. Their only option is to climb to the top of the ruins and hope the locals will leave. When the locals refuse to follow them and instead begin to quarantine the area, our heroes quickly realize there is something very wrong with these ruins. The vines and weeds that surround the the giant temple are coming to life and soon the ancient curse will reveal itself.

If we wanted to try and apply a meaning to The Ruins, perhaps, we could infer that he weeds that surround the ruins and begin sucking bodies into them, hissing at our heroes, crawling into and out of their bodies, could be seen as some kind of drug metaphor. The movie kind of reminded me of those extremely lame and heavy-handed ONDCP ads that show kids burning their possessions or building weed cocoons and emerging as middle aged fat guys. It's possible that the makers of The Ruins could be positing an anti-pot message that says if you smoke weed it invades your entire body, eating you from the inside out but that's a big stretch. Nothing in the movie indicates that anything means anything beyond being kind of gross. 

The Ruins is based on a novel by Scott B. Smith, and directed by Carter Smith and is typical of the junk horror genre that has delivered movies like Turistas or Cabin Fever. It features some of the same cardboard characters, the same shallow anti-American stereotypes, and the same Clearasil splashed teen heartthrobs who seem to gravitate toward death by serial killer or supernatural force in movies like this. There is absolutely nothing special, memorable, or remotely interesting in The Ruins. The film enacts a familiar plot in the most basic way, provides a couple of grossout moments and is over so fast you will likely forget you saw it before you get to your car. 

Movie Review: The Ring 2

The Ring 2 (2005) 

Directed by Hideo Nakata

Written by Ehren Kruger 

Starring Naomi Watts, Simon Baker, David Dorfman, Elizabeth Perkins, Gary Cole and Sissy Spacek 

Release Date March 18th 2005 

Published March 17th, 2005 

When The Ring was released in 2002 and became a nationwide sensation with 129 million in box office sales and there was no doubt that there would be a sequel.  Hell, the Japanese version of the film spawned multiple sequels so there was even material from which to borrow for a new movie if necessary.  The real question was whether the story they told in the sequel would matter to viewers, not that it mattered much to marketers who had the poster mocked and approved on The Ring's second weekend atop the box office. Unfortunately there is no more story worth telling, or if there is the producers of Ring Two failed to locate it.

A quick recap of the original concept: The Ring was founded on the idea of a crazy looking videotape that, when viewed, left the viewer with seven days to live. A girl trapped in a well used the supernatural powers of the videotape to escape and claim anyone who watched the tape. Naomi Watts starred in The Ring as a journalist named Rachel who saw the tape while searching out a story about the urban legend surrounding it, a legend that may have claimed the life of her young niece.

Rachel is back in Ring Two with her preternaturally creepy son Aiden (David Dorfman). The two have escaped the tape's supernatural curse by running off to a small town somewhere in Oregon where Rachel has taken a job as a reporter for a small town paper run by Max (Simon Baker). How location could prevent a supernatural being from finding victims is a logical question that the film fails to address, among many other failures in logic and works of luck and chance that would be forgivable were they not so numerous.

Unfortunately for Rachel and Aiden, the tape has been traveling with a new legend attached to it. Teens are passing it around under the pretense that if you can get someone else to watch after you the curse is transferred from you to them. This theory fails a teenager who tries to pass it off on an unsuspecting girl. This is in the opening ten minutes and for some reason is the last time in the film we will hear about the killer video.

From there the film changes the supernatural elements, losing the videotape and randomly deciding that Samara, the killer chick in the video, can attack by possessing Aiden, Exorcist style. This leads Rachel back to that well in the basement of Samara's house and to Samara's real mother, an institutionalized woman played by Sissy Spacek. None of this leads to any satisfying conclusion though to the film's credit there is no overt set up for another sequel.

Ring 2 is shockingly bad. Truly shocking considering the talent of director Hideo Tanaka whose original Ringu is terrifically stylish and suspenseful. Ring director Gore Verbinski skated by in the original by being visually inventive and taking advantage of the films unique premise. Ring 2 abandons the original premise and even much of the strong visual aspects, replacing them with what amounts to a series of rip-offs of other horror movies.

Ring 2 is the perfect example of what I have called 'sequelitis.' It's a film that exists solely as a concept, a poster, a series of demographic marketing numbers and never anything resembling a real film.

Movie Review: The Ring

The Ring (2002) 

Directed by Gore Verbinski 

Written by Ehren Kruger 

Starring Naomi Watts, Martin Henderson, David Dorfman, Brian Cox, Jane Alexander 

Release Date October 18th, 2002 

Published October 17th, 2002 

With Halloween around the corner, movie fans are making their plans for Halloween movie watching. Most will stick to the classics: Jason, Freddy, and Rocky Horror. Some fans will take a chance on new movies like Ghost Ship and The Ring. Will either of these films become Halloween rituals? We shall wait and see on Ghost Ship. As for The Ring, with its stylishness and mystery, it has a chance at achieving cult status.

The Ring stars Mulholland Drive’s Naomi Watts, an actress used to stylish mystery, as Rachel Keller, a journalist investigating the unexplained death of her niece. Investigators and doctors have no clue what could have killed this normal, healthy 15-year-old girl. What the investigators failed to notice were the mysterious deaths of three of the girl's friends in separate locations, with each of the kids dying at exactly the same time: 10 p.m.

From a friend of her niece, Rachel learns of an urban legend about a videotape. If you watch it you die exactly one week later. A typically skeptical Rachel begins investigating more benign leads, which takes her to a cabin not far from the girls' Seattle home. At the cabin, Rachel stumbles across the tape and watches it for herself. Suddenly the details described in the legend begin to come true; an eerie phone call informs Rachel she has one week to live and images from the tape begin to appear in reality.

Rachel then takes the tape to her ex-husband, Noah (Martin Henderson), who happens to be a video expert. He also watches the tape and is puzzled at his inability to determine its origin. The tape doesn’t have the distinguishing marks of an average tape. Adding to Rachel’s mounting terror is her strangely sullen but intuitive son Aiden (David Dorfman) who accidentally views the tape, making the investigation even more urgent.

We have seen this conceit before. In fact, we saw it earlier this year in Fear Dot Com. In that film, if you viewed the Web site in the title, you would die in three days. In each film, the investigators believe that if they find the source they can stop the killer. However, there are many subtle differences. Fear Dot Com is a poorly lit, slowly plotted, poorly acted, deeply dull film, more obsessed with unusual visuals than with creating a compelling story. The Ring is more stylish, with an occasional arty quality that is notable in the killer video.

The performances by Naomi Watts, Martin Henderson and David Dorfman are all perfectly pitched, with each creating interesting characters that are never merely manipulated by the plot. The film also has a great mystery to it. At first, the killer is unseen and the more the killer stays off screen the more suspense the film builds.

In fact, it isn’t until the killer is revealed that the film loses steam. It’s a shame that as good as most of The Ring is that director Gore Verbinsky can’t resist the false ending. The ending is highly unsatisfying, a shameful Hollywood tease for a sequel in case the film is profitable. Why is it the first ending of a modern horror movie is almost always the better ending? 

The same thing happened in Red Dragon recently, the Silence of the Lambs spinoff. Putting aside the distasteful ending, The Ring isn’t a bad movie. For most of the film, it’s a suspenseful, engaging horror mystery and I recommend it for your Halloween viewing. However, you're better off leaving when you think it should end instead of waiting for the film itself to end.

Movie Review: The Messengers

The Messengers (2007)

Directed by The Pang Brothers 

Written by Mark Wheaton

Starring Kristen Stewart, Dylan McDermott, Penelope Ann Miller, John Corbett 

Release Date February 2nd, 2007

Published February 1st, 2007

The two worst things to happen to modern horror are the rise of the PG-13 rating as a box office force and the rising influence of atmospheric Japanese horror movies. The PG-13 rips the guts out of the genre by not allowing guts to be ripped out on screen anymore. The rating robs the genre of its kink and cheap thrills and leaves nothing but the shrill screams of the soundtrack.

The influence of Japanese horror wouldn't be such a bad thing if American filmmakers could mimic it well. Unfortunately, as demonstrated by two The Ring's and two Grudge movies and the pitiful Dark Water with Jennifer Connelly, clearly we can't. Both of these bad trends come together in the latest haunted house horror flick The Messengers.

The last thing young Jess (Kristen Stewart) wants is to move to the middle of nowhere, North Dakota. Unfortunately for Jess, her dad Roy (Dylan McDermott) and mom Denise (Penelope Ann Miller), are forcing her to do just that. Dad has decided he is going to become a sunflower farmer and has used the family's savings to buy a dilapidated farmhouse and some empty acres.

Naturally, the house was once the site of a grizzly murder. A mother, her daughter, and young son, were killed in this house and their spirits haven't left. Only Jess's baby brother Ben can see the ghosts, though eventually, Jess gets up close and personal when they try and kill her. Joining the family on the farm is a mysterious wandering farmhand named Burwell (John Corbett) who may or may not have some history of his own tied up in the old house.

Commercials for The Messengers trade on the idea that small children, toddlers, can see things adults can't. It's an attention grabbing conceit. However, it has nothing to do with the movie that ends up on the screen. Yes, there is a toddler in the film and yes he does see the ghosts. However, the fact that the kid can see the ghosts has little, to no impact on the plot, it's more of a marketing tool intended to make you think of better movies in which kids see ghosts, The Sixth Sense. 

Director's Danny and Oxide Pang made the awkward but entertaining Japanese horror flick The Eye and now make their American debut with The Messengers. The new movie shares the debut picture's awkward style and low rent effects. What The Messengers lacks; and what The Eye had in abundance, is an original story. Working with first time writer Mark Wheaton, and from an idea from the man behind Jason X; Todd Farmer, the Pang Brothers deliver an uninspired bit of by the numbers direction.

There is some unintentional comedy in The Messengers, though not nearly enough for real camp fun. In one scene Dylan McDermott gets into it with some crows and ends up having to throw a haymaker at one, a dignity destroying bit of physical business. In another, John Corbett is engulfed by the evil black birds, reminiscent of a scene from The Simpsons in which Homer is attacked by crows. Oh, did I mention the fact that these bizarre bird attacks are entirely random and never actually linked to the plot? That's kind of important.

The special effects of The Messengers are about as bad as the directors fetish for black birds. The ghosts of The Messengers are The Grudge knockoffs with cracking bones and crawling on all fours on floors, walls and ceilings. Each has that very obvious digital glow about them that let's the audience know the filmmakers didn't have the money for the top notch digital effects.

The Messengers is a mindless rehash of a dozen other bad horror movies from The Ring and The Grudge to the long forgotten Sharon Stone-Dennis Quaid teaming Cold Creek Manor whose creators might consider looking into copyright infringement, the stories are so similar. The estate of the late great Alfred Hitchcock might consider litigation as well. considering The Messengers' oddball, non-plot related, bird obsession.

However, relating anything Hitchcock-ian to this thrill-less thriller is a little too insulting to the great master. Forget I ever brought it up, just as you would forget The Messengers moments after seeing it.

Movie Review The Omen (2006)

The Omen (2006) 

Directed by John Moore 

Written by David Seitzer 

Starring Julia Stiles, Liev Schreiber, Mia Farrow, David Thewlis, Michael Gambon 

Release Date June 6th, 2006 

Published June 5th, 2006 

666 is the number of the beast. It's also the number hiding somewhere on the body of five year old Damien Thorn. You see, Damien is not in fact the son of Robert and Katherine Thorn, played by Liev Schreiber and Julia Stiles. On the day his son was to be born Robert Thorn arrived at a religious hospital in Rome to find his son had died at birth. The doctors waited till Robert arrived before telling his wife Catherine (Julia Stiles). There was however a secondary motive to not telling her. A small child was born simultaneously in the hospital to a mother who died while giving birth.

The priest in charge of the hospital makes a deal with Robert to adopt this child in secret and raise him as his own. If all of this sounds rather convenient, you have no idea how right you are. Cut to five years later and young Damien is a slightly creepy looking five year old with no outwardly sinister ambitions until his birthday. At the party Damien's nanny suddenly decides to hang herself in front of the entire crowd of children and parents. Only young Damien seems unaffected by this scene.

Following this disturbing event Robert is visited by a crazed priest, Father Brennen (Pete Postlethwaite). Babbling about how Robert needs to accept Christ as his savior, Father Brennen wishes to explain to Robert that his child Damien is actually the son of the devil. Upon Father Brennen's ghastly death a photographer (David Thewlis) makes a terrifying discovery that will lead he and Robert across the globe to uncover his sons true nature. Meanwhile young Damien and his new nanny Mrs. Baylock (Mia Farrow) set there sights on poor Katherine.

At first The Omen 2006 is a slavishly devoted retelling of the original story. However, director John Moore eventually finds his own way of making The Omen his. Through the use of some exquisite art direction, location shooting and cinematography, The Omen develops a steadily chilling atmosphere that grows exponentially more shocking and genuinely scary as the movie progresses.

John Moore's first film was a forgettable remake of the Jimmy Stewart flick Flight Of The Phoenix. That film never gave any indication that Moore had this kind of directorial talent. His eye for visual splendor in The Omen is exquisite here, where it was desperately muted in Flight of the Phoenix. Moore draws genuine scares not from the usual bait and switch histrionics of cats leaping from the shadows and music stabs but from crafting atmosphere and artful misdirection.

The film evokes the original The Omen with stars Schreiber and Stiles bringing echoes of Gregory Peck and Remick to live but never surpassing the legends from the original. Only Mia Farrow as Mrs. Baylock truly stands apart from the original film. That is mostly because of the oddity of her casting. Ms. Farrow is well known as the mother of Satan's child in 1969's Rosemary's Baby. Her casting in The Omen is a terrific inside joke for horror fans.

Because so little is changed from the original The Omen is a directorial revelation. Only John Moore's direction provides the opportunity for updating this material and that is a challenge that Moore meets and surpasses. The Omen 2006 is a visual horror nightmare that improves on familiar material with directorial flourish worthy of masters class. I never would have expected this from John Moore but after The Omen I cannot wait to see what he could do with original material.

Movie Review: The Order

The Order (2003) 

Directed by Brian Helgeland 

Written by Brian Helgeland 

Starring Heath Ledger, Shannyn Sossomon, Mark Addy, Benno Furman, Peter Weller

Release Date September 5th, 2003 

Published September 4th, 2003 

It's not Heath Ledger's fault

It's not his fault that even before he finished what was to be his breakout role as a lead actor in A Knight's Tale, that Hollywood's marketing machine was on full blast anointing him the heir apparent to Mel Gibson. It wasn't Ledger's fault that seemingly out of nowhere Hollywood had decided that audiences loved Heath Ledger. He hadn't had a top-line-starring role yet and already he was on every magazine cover and his name was being mentioned in company with box office heavyweights like Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise.

A Knight's Tale went on to gross over $100 million dollars but no actor could live up to that hype and his next film, the stolid but beautiful looking Four Feathers, bombed miserably. Even before that failure Ledger had another film albatross around his neck called The Order, a film made as a favor to Director Brian Helgeland soon after completing A Knight's Tale.

In The Order, Ledger plays Father Alex Bernier, a New York priest for a strange and largely ignored Catholic sect. Father Alex's mentor back in the holy city of Rome has been killed and the Catholic hierarchy wants Father Alex to investigate the circumstances. The death is seemingly a suicide but on closer inspection, Alex begins to suspect murder.

With the help of a fellow priest played by Mark Addy, and an oddball romantic interest played by Shannyn Sossamon, Father Bernier slowly uncovers a conspiracy within the church that could result in a new pope. The conspiracy involves a supernatural being known as the Sin Eater (Benno Furmann), a deity who can send anyone to heaven with a clean slate of sin. Through ritual, the Sin Eater takes in the evil committed by men of power allowing them a free pass into heaven. It is the Sin Eater who killed Alex's mentor and Alex wants revenge. What the Sin Eater wants is Alex.

Here is the odd thing about the Sin Eater, though he is the bad guy, the things he does actually don't seem that bad. He seems to serve a purpose that some might call admirable. He absolves the sins of people who are near death and are uncertain about their chances to get into heaven. Whether he can get them there or not is unimportant, it just seems that the comfort he provides to the dying is something to be admired.

Peter Weller shows up in The Order in a vaguely sinister role as the possible new pope, a badly underwritten role that makes little sense. But then, not much of The Order makes sense. As written by Director Brian Helgeland, it's a story that has an interesting religious hook but doesn't know what to do with it. It doesn't help that the dialogue is stiflingly dull with both Ledger and Sossoman delivering their lines in sullen monotones that sound as if they were rehearsing their lines rather than actually performing them. 

Disdain for the church is fair, in my eyes, considering the recent scandals and painting the church as harboring the ultimate evils is a clever allegory to use in a movie plot. Unfortunately The Order isn't interested in symbolism. The Order is a straight genre suspense flick with supernatural overtones and has no other aspiration. It's a shame because religious-themed mysteries are an undeserved dramatic context. With all the vagaries of religious text, the mystery and suspense that can be found in religion is endless.

This film however is only interested in it's minor twists and jolts, none of which rise to the genre of horror which some have ascribed it to. There are neither enough blood nor scares for The Order to be called a horror film. As I stated at the front, I don't think that the path of Heath Ledger's career is his fault. There is a streak of independence in Heath Ledger that seems to chafe at the attention he receives for his looks. It's the same look that Johnny Depp had early in his career as he fought off matinee idol pigeonholing. Whether Ledger has the same nose for smart material as Depp has developed, is something he has yet have to prove.