Movie Review: xXx (2002) – Vin Diesel’s Bond Wannabe is All Stunts, No Substance

Movie Review: xXx (2002) – Vin Diesel’s Bond Wannabe is All Stunts, No Substance 

Tags xXx movie review, Vin Diesel, Rob Cohen, early 2000s action, Samuel L. Jackson, Asia Argento, Fast and the Furious, extreme sports movies, spy thrillers, action movie franchises 

 

 Overview

After *The Fast and the Furious* redefined car-chase cinema for the early 2000s, director Rob Cohen and star Vin Diesel reunited for *xXx*, a would-be franchise launcher that replaces underground racing with extreme sports espionage. On paper, it's James Bond for the Mountain Dew generation. In practice, it’s all style, no soul.

Plot Summary

Vin Diesel plays Xander Cage, an extreme sports outlaw and underground celebrity who records himself pulling off illegal stunts and sells the footage online. After one such act catches the eye of the NSA, Cage is recruited by agent Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) to infiltrate a terrorist group in Prague called Anarchy 99, led by the over-the-top Yorgi (Martin Csokas). Cage must rely on the help of Yolena (Asia Argento), a Russian double agent in deep cover, to stop a plot involving biochemical warfare. It’s spy thriller meets X-Games—on paper, at least.

What Works

• Vin Diesel’s presence: Diesel has undeniable screen presence and looks the part of a next-gen action star. He’s physically convincing in the role, even if his one-liners fall flat.
• Slick visuals: The film is glossy, fast-paced, and looks like it cost every bit of its high-budget production—an MTV aesthetic turned up to 11.
• Samuel L. Jackson: He elevates nearly anything he’s in and gives the film a bit of gravitas it sorely needs.

What Doesn’t Work

• Poor dialogue: The script is filled with slangy, poser lines that sound awkward coming from actors in their 30s. It feels like a high school teacher trying to talk like their students.
• Clichéd and hollow: *xXx* borrows heavily from better films (*Bond*, *Mission: Impossible*) but lacks their finesse or wit. The movie is all catchphrases and explosions, with little to back them up.
• Sexism and objectification: Despite its PG-13 rating, the film leans hard into misogyny, using women mostly as set dressing. It's embarrassing, not edgy.
• Cheesy effects: The snowboarding sequences, in particular, are painfully fake-looking and unintentionally comical.

Final Thoughts

*xXx* is exactly what happens when a movie is built by a marketing team first and a creative team second. Its attempt to launch a new action franchise is overly eager and undercooked. Rob Cohen’s direction tries to channel Bond’s cool with an “extreme” edge but ends up looking more like a Mountain Dew commercial than a credible spy film. Vin Diesel deserves a better vehicle for his talents. This one’s strictly for action junkies with a high tolerance for cheese.

Rating

⭐ Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars

 Call to Action

---

Did Vin Diesel deserve a better franchise than *xXx*? Drop your thoughts in the comments below.

For more reviews of early 2000s action flicks, check out our action movie archives.

Movie Review: The Rundown

The Rundown (2003) 

Directed by Peter Berg 

Written by R.J Stewart, James Vanderbilt 

Starring Dwayne The Rock Johnson, Seann William Scott, Christopher Walken, Rosario Dawson

Release Date September 26th, 2003 

Published September 25th, 2003 

After The Scorpion King made Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson a viable action superstar, many were quick to anoint him as the heir apparent to the Schwarzenegger-Stallone action star crown. The Rock need only prove himself in a film that wasn't connected to a previously successful vehicle (Scorpion King being a continuation of a character from The Mummy franchise).That proof of The Rock's star-power comes with his star turn in The Rundown, an action comedy that pairs the Rock's muscles with the motor mouth comedy of Seann William Scott for a fun action spectacle.

In The Rundown The Rock takes on the role of Beck, a henchman for some kind of mob figure. After failing to retrieve a debt for his boss, Beck is given the option of one more job. This job that will get Beck the money he needs to get out of the thug business and into his dream gig, owning a restaurant. However, this not your everyday gig for a thug. Instead, this job involves going into the dangerous jungles of Brazil to capture the mobster’s erstwhile son and return him to Los Angeles. 

On the surface, that might sounds simple enough but when Beck gets to the city of El Dorado, or as the locals have dubbed it, Helldorado, it's hot, it's dangerous and it's run by a whacked-out nut job played by Christopher Walken. Beck is quick to find the kid, Travis (Seann William Scott), but Walken's weirdo dictator and his wacky henchmen have plans of their own for Travis. Seems the kid has happened upon the whereabouts of a valuable artifact that could be worth millions.

Walken isn't the only one with designs on Travis either. Jungle rebels lead by the lovely Marianna (Rosario Dawson) also want to get their hands on the artifact so that they can get their people out from under Walken's tyrannous reign. This leaves Beck stuck in the middle of all of the fighting between Walken's thugs, the rebel’s, and in one scene some various amorous monkeys. And Beck is also fighting with Travis who's motor mouth is far more brutal than his fighting.

The Rundown is predictable, certainly not high minded or idealistic. What the movie does have going for it however, is some fun action scenes, some truly brutal looking stunt work, and a strong enough amount of wit provided by The Rock's put upon performance. Johnson's incredulous reactions to the numerous indignities visited upon his character is the film’s strongest source of comedy. That and it's physical humor which has the Rock hanging upside down, fighting monkeys and getting beat up by a group of Brazilian Little People. 

The films stunt work does press the boundaries of believability, such as an early scene where Rock and Scott roll down a hill and take a brutal amount of punishment. It's nothing a little suspension of disbelief can't get you past but it does feel a bit excessive. As directed by Peter Berg, The Rundown combines the kind of 80's style action movie where no one runs out of bullets with the 90's style action movie where you shoot and pause for an ironic aside before shooting again. It's clichéd but the actors make it tolerable with fun, witty, and knowing performances.

And then, Christopher Walken delivers yet another of his iconic weirdo performances. Be sure to watch out for a particularly peculiar rant from Walken's would be dictator about the tooth fairy. It's a bizarrely long monologue that is delivered in a way that only Christopher Walken could deliver it. Walken gives this monologue with his entire being, his fully physicality embodies this moment. It's completely outside of the movie and stops the whole story dead in its tracks but, it's worth it because Walken is incredibly entertaining. 

Even with a show stealer like Christopher Walken however, The Rundown belongs to The Rock, who I realize wants to be known as Dwayne Johnson but as a wrestling fan he will always be The Rock to me. Top lining his first stand-alone action vehicle, The Rock oozes the kind of star quality that you just can't teach. It's a great star making performance in a film that I hope will make him a star for good. The action genre needs The Rock's cool and charisma to carry it over clichéd plots and endless violence of stock action movies like The Ruindown.