Movie Review Disenchanted

Disenchanted (2022) 

Directed by Adam Shankman 

Written by Brigitte Hales, J. David Stern 

Starring Amy Adams, Patrick Dempsey, Maya Rudolph 

Release Date November 18th, 2022 

Published November 17th, 2022 

Disney Plus 

I'm growing concerned that Disney has somehow found an algorithm that determines the exact level of mediocre. Look at their recent spate of live action movies and you can see what I am getting at. From Jungle Cruise to Hocus Pocus 2, Disney has been able to craft movies so inoffensive, bland, mediocre and passably 'entertaining' that they simply pass through you like a fast food meal, not bad, but not exactly a memorable meal. 

Further evidence of this algorithmic mediocrity comes in their latest Disney Plus release, a sequel to the wonderful 2007 comedy, Enchanted, called Disenchanted. Bland, mediocre, passable, each of these benign phrases are perfectly fitting of this deeply run of the mill effort. Directed by a master of bland, middle of the road, mainstream mush, Adam Shankman, Disenchanted is not a bad movie, just a supremely bland, deeply unmemorable movie that fails to justify its existence. 

Where Enchanted was wildly inventive, a loving tribute to Disney Princess tropes, Disenchanted sends up fairy tale tropes with all the skill of someone taking up juggling for the first time. Using Disney created tropes from Cinderella, Snow White, Maleficent and any number of classic fairy tales, Disenchanted appears to have been made by people whose idea of satire is aiming a fire hose of every idea without hitting any specific target. 

Disenchanted picks up the story of former fairy tale Princess, Gisele (Amy Adams), living her happily ever after in New York City. It's been 10 years since she fell through a portal into the real world and met and fell in love with her handsome Prince, New York lawyer Robert (Patrick Dempsey). However, things are not the as Happy as the phrase Happily Ever After implies. Gisele has grown weary of the big city and her relationship with her adoptive daughter, Morgan (Gabriella Baldacchino) has grown strained. Morgan has become a movie teenager, a bland amalgamation of sarcasm and unfocused rebellion. 

In order to get her Happily Ever After back on track, Gisele asks Robert to move the family to the suburbs, specifically, a tiny hamlet called Monroeville. There, they buy what appears to be a run down former castle and set about a new ending for their story. Things do not go well and with everyone in the family at each other's throat, Gisele grows desperate for a magical fix to her problems. That magic arrives with a visit from her friends, Prince Edward (James Marsden) and his wife, Nancy (Idina Menzel). 

Visiting from Gisele's animated home world, Andalasia, they've brought a gift, a magic wand, to be given to Gisele and Robert's baby daughter. Once they leave however, Gisele decides to use the wand for herself. She wishes for her new home to be just like Andalasia and the next day, it's a full on fairy tale. Robert is now an adventurer, Morgan has become a Cinderella like figure, and, since Gisele is technically Morgan's stepmother, she begins to turn evil. A helpful scroll informs Gisele and us that if she doesn't reverse the wish by Midnight she will turn evil and all of Monroeville will remain in this fairy tale world. Oh, and that means destroying Andalasia for some reason. 

Click here for my full length review at Geeks.media

Movie Review Bedtime Stories

Bedtime Stories (2008) 

Directed by Adam Shankman

Written by Tim Herlihy, Matt Lopez

Starring Adam Sandler, Courtney Cox, Guy Pearce, Russell Brand, Jonathan Pryce

Release Date December 25th, 2008

Published Decemer 24th, 2008

Oh what a shock! Sean hates an Adam Sandler movie. Stop the presses. Well, now wait a second. I was developing a grudging affinity for the former SNL star. I liked Punch Drunk Love. I thought he was tremendous in the terribly flawed movie Reign Over Me. And, I even liked You Don't Mess With The Zohan for the sheer glee of its offensiveness.

I honestly thought that Sandler was maturing and recognizing that even the most outlandish story, such as Zohan, needed some dramatic parameters. I thought maybe that he was developing a knowledge of how to build believable characters and motivations. And I thought maybe his juvenilia was evolving a little.

Oh how wrong I was. Bedtime Stories is the lowest piece of garbage that Sandler has crafted since Billy Madison. Insulting, stupid, beyond juvenile, this alleged 'family' movie from Disney of all places, ranks among the lowest moments of Sandler's already low career.

Bedtime Stories stars Sandler as Skeeter, a hotel handyman who had grown up in the hotel business. His father played by Jonathan Pryce, who also narrates the movie, once owned the hotel and lived their with his son and his daughter played by Courtney Cox.

Dad passed away not long after he had sold the hotel to a hotelier played by Richard Griffiths. He turned the tiny hotel into a massive hotel palace and kept Skeeter on as a handyman for some 20 years. Now he is about to open a new hotel and Skeeter hopes to run it.

Meanwhile, Skeeter's sis has lost her job and must travel out of state for a job interview. She needs little brother to watch her two kids for a week despite his having not seen them in four years. Nevertheless, he accepts. Each night at bedtime they require a story and for some unknown reason portions of the stories come to life the following day.

The script for Bedtime Stories was apparently penned on the back of a cocktail napkin. It read "Children's Bedtime stories come to life starring Adam Sandler". The rest of the production involved hiring a cast and director who would simply make up everything else that happens.

Nevermind if any of it connects into some coherent story or if the characters motivation or even their dialogue makes a lick of sense, we've got Adam Sandler and a premise, that's all the filmmakers felt they needed. Oh, how wrong they were.

What the cast and director Adam Shankman invented around this premise was brutal, unending stupidity. True garbage. None of the characters make any sense. Plot strands arrive and then are shoved off screen maybe to be revisited later. Characters are introduced and quickly dispatched without making a lick of difference to the story.

I realize that I am not supposed to care whether Skeeter would be at all qualified to run a hotel, it's not necessary information, but as presented I would not allow Skeeter to run a gas pump. Kids will not care that they are being insulted by such plot insinuations but I was endlessly irritated with the lack of care that anyone from Sandler to the director to the producers took with this plot construction.

But again, this is a kids movie you say. Why does it matter. The kids will love the bright colors and the googly eyed, farting guinea pig. They'll eat it up. Well, I will tell you why it matters. Because kids should not eat this up. Kids should not be subjected to such shoddy work.

Director Shankman's work is sloppy at best and Sandler hasn't been this lazy on screen since Mr. Deeds. Kids deserve better. They may not know it but they deserve better than to simply have their senses tickled. They deserve better than bright colors and fart jokes from a slipshod director and lazy superstar who do their jobs on autopilot why? Because it's just a kiddie flick.

No, kids deserve better. Kids deserve movies that don't patronize and appeal to their lower minds. Kids deserve movies that challenge them to think and imagine. They need and I believe they crave movies that expand their minds and make them think of bigger and better things.

Movies like Wall-E and Horton Hears A Who and Kung Fu Panda have been released this year and each of these animated features have entertained kids and caused their imaginations and intellects to expand. Kids came out of those movies laughing and smiling and best of all dreaming.

Bedtime Stories may occasionally make them laugh or smile but it won't make them dream. It will stifle them. They may not know it or show it but they will feel short changed. They will instinctively know that their time and their imagination has been wasted and the long term effect will be for them to expect less of movies.

The long term effect will be felt when years later they expect nothing of the movies and of art but the base visceral need for a distraction from daily life and that is a sad end. I know you will say I am overreacting and that Bedtime Stories is a mere trifle of a movie that will be long forgotten by most in less than a week but I am telling you, your wrong.

Bedtime Stories is an affliction. It is a long term damaging of the psyche. A movie whose future effect will be to lower the standards of what children expect of art and what they think is expected of them as people. If you care so little what you use to stimulate your child they will come to expect less of their own stimulation.

Bedtime Stories is the worst movie of 2008.

Movie Review Hairspray

Hairspray (2007)

Directed by Adam Shankman

Written by Leslie Dixon 

Starring Nikki Blonsky, John Travolta, Christopher Walken, James Marsden 

Release Date July 13th, 2007 

Published July 12th, 2007

John Waters Hairspray was an independent movie that made only 6 million dollars during its theatrical run in 1988. Nevertheless, the film struck a chord with someone, because over a decade later the film was plucked from obscurity and turned into a Broadway musical that went on to gross far more than the film ever did and garnered a few awards along the way.

Now Hairspray is back on the big screen and in a most astonishing turn of events, Hairspray gets even more successful in its return to the big screen. This jaunty good natured, upbeat satirical musical is the most consistently smile-inducing film this side of Ratatouille and nearly as much of a must see.

First time actress Nikki Blonsky, who won a nationwide talent search to get this role, stars as Tracey Turnblad an optimistic young teenager in early 1960

Of course, what people really want to know about Hairspray is, how does John Travolta pull off the crossdressing, the fat suit and the song and dance all at once. He's absolutely terrific. Though saddled with a Baltimore accent that limits his ability to belt out the songs in full voice, Travolta really throws all of his talent and charisma into this performance and his joy is fun and infectious.

The star of Hairspray is not John Travolta however, it's the music. These are some terrific songs; performed with style, humor and panache. My personal favorite is "Run and Tell That" a fast paced dance tune performed by Elijah Kelley who I believe is a star waiting to happen. Watch this performance and the chemistry he has with Amanda Bynes during this song and throughout their scenes. Bynes herself is a real joy to watch, together with Elijah Kelly, they are great fun.

The showstopper is an all-cast blast called "You Can't Stop The Beat" a rousing announcement of the arrival of the 1960's and modern times and values. Hairspray captures our move to a more permissive time, an experimental and unique time in our history. In this moment the film is both of its time, the 60's, and beyond it.

Hairspray is a guaranteed great time at the movies. A non-stop toe-tapping, smile inducing musical that will leave you humming, if not dancing, out of the theater. Young star Nikki Blonsky is a revelation as Tracey Turnblad, not bad for a contest winner, and John Travolta is a scene stealer as her mom Edna, just wait till you see Edna dance with Christopher Walken as Wilbur Turnblad, this scene alone is worth the price of a ticket.

Rat up your hair, call your best girl and go see Hairspray. If you can't have fun watching this movie, you simply don't know how.

Movie Review: Bringing Down the House

Bringing Down the House (2003) 

Directed by Adam Shankman 

Written by Jason Filardi 

Starring Steve Martin, Queen Latifah, Eugene Levy, Jean Smart, Joan Plowright, Missi Pyle 

Release Date March 7th, 2003 

Published March 6th, 2003 

Racial humor these days is more difficult than peace in the Middle East. Sensitivities are high and watchdogs are everywhere seizing on any hint of political incorrectness. Into this climate wanders the mismatched buddy comedy Bringing Down The House starring Steve Martin and Queen Latifah. A film that is desperate to be edgy with it's racial humor but paints too broadly to make anything close to a point.

Martin is Peter Sanderson, a workaholic LA lawyer who has recently divorced his wife Kate (Jean Smart) leaving her custody of their two kids, Sarah (Kimberly J. Brown) and Georgy (Angus T. Jones).

Peter isn't an absentee father, he still sees his kids but because of his job, he breaks a lot of promises. Constantly attached to his cellphone, Peter has little time for anything other than work though he has found time to strike up an Internet connection with a fellow lawyer named Charlene. Or so he thinks. Peter believes Charlene is a lawyer because her screen-name is lawyergirl. 

In reality however, Charlene is actually an ex con looking for someone to help get her out of jail. What Peter also doesn't know, until they meet on a blind date at his home, is that Charlene isn't the petite waspish blonde he had imagined but rather a sassy busty black woman in the form of Queen Latifah. If this sounds like the setup to a bad sitcom then you're onto something.

Peter is, not surprisingly, unhappy with Charlene's deception and wants her to leave immediately, until Charlene makes a scene and he is forced to let her stay. In a series of implausibility's, she stays in his house bonds with his kids and eventually the two come to an understanding. She helps him try and get his wife back while he works to clear her name. Eugene Levy is thrown into the plot as Charlene's love interest and The Practice's Steven Harris slums as Charlene's gangbanger ex-boyfriend.

Despite it's bad sitcom level plotting Bringing Down the House has it's share of laughs, most of them coming from Martin and Latifah who at times seem to be in an entirely different and far funnier film. The chemistry between the two is excellent in scenes where they seem to be flying off the script. However, when they are in the forced confines of the film’s plot, they seem bored.

The supporting cast is made up of caricatures and plot points and Eugene Levy is both. Thrown in to give the script a reason for Latifah and Martin not to get together, he also provides the screenwriter with the lame white guy he needs to foolishly send up stereotypical black speech as you have seen in the film‘s inescapable ad campaign. Also forced into the film as a caricature is Joan Plowright as Martin's bigoted client. Plowright's character exists for the purpose of one scene in which she smokes marijuana at a nightclub. It's funny because she's white, old, and smoking a joint..... hahahahaha.

The films racial humor is clumsy to the point of offensive and if it weren't for Latifah, you might not be able to tolerate a lot of it. The script seems determined to either make you laugh or make you extremely uncomfortable, which could be a commendable trait if the film weren't tied to such a mundane plot and bound to it's genre.

Director Adam Shankman needs to learn to control his camera. Early in the film he falls in love with these nauseating tracking shots that will have you wishing for Dramamine. His technique gets better as the film goes on but sadly, he is in place merely to transfer the mundane script to the screen.

Anything interesting in Bringing Down The House is provided by Martin and Latifah who through comedic force of will make this lame predictable material occasionally funny. The most surprisingly funny moment comes toward the end when Martin dresses up in the stereotypical “young black guy” costume and enters a black club. The scene has the potential to be extremely unfunny but Martin plays it so well you laugh, whether you wanted to or not. 

Movie Review: A Walk to Remember

A Walk to Remember (2002) 

Directed by Adam Shankman

Written by Karen Janszen 

Starring Mandy Moore, Shane West, Daryl Hannah, Lauren German, Clayne Crawford 

Release Date January 25th, 2002 

Published January 24th, 2002 

SPOILER ALERT! I'm required to say that because indeed I am giving away this film’s ending. Of course if you have seen this film’s marketing campaign and you don't already know how this one ends, then you need to buy my new book “Teen Movies for Dummies.” A Walk To Remember is yet another addition to the growing genre I have dubbed the “dead ingénue” movie. Cute, quirky chick rescues and reforms wayward male and then dies.

Pop singer Mandy Moore stars as a nerdy Christian outcast who tutors underprivileged kids, sings in the choir, stars in the school play and has a 4.0 GPA. Shane West from TV's Once & Again is her wayward hunk who, after nearly killing a friend of his is sentenced to community service and forced to star in the school play. If that's what you get for attempted manslaughter, what is the punishment for murder? Detention? Anyway our two stars meet while working in the play together, they fall in love, and then she's dead.

This film seems as if it were made for the WB network. With it's appealing young stars and 94 minute runtime it’s perfect for the two hour block right after Dawson's Creek, if you factor in commercials. Journalistic integrity forces me to admit that Moore and West do have an effective scene in her hospital room. The touching and well-written scene hints at a great future for West who reminds me of a smarter-looking Paul Walker.

As for Moore, well honey, don't quit your day job. If A Walk To Remember is anything to judge Mandy's acting skills, Julia Roberts doesn't have anything to worry about.