Movie Review Gran Turismo

Gran Turismo (2023) 

Directed by Neil Blomkamp 

Written by Jason Hall, Zach Baylin 

Starring Archie Medekwe, David Harbour, Orlando Bloom, Djimon Hounsou, Geri Halliwell 

Release Date August 25th, 2023 

Published August 22nd, 2023 

There is nothing particularly wrong with Gran Turismo. It's an occasionally rousing, occasionally emotional, sports movie. It's well acted, it's shot well, the special effects are terrific. So why don't I care about this based on a true story melodrama? It's odd, I can remember enjoying Gran Turismo while I watched it and now, as I sit to write about it, most of the movie has slipped away. I'm left with this sort of vague admiration for Gran Turismo but not much beyond that. I'm having to check and recheck notes that I made and go back to the film synopsis for help. Am I just getting old or did this movie just leave that little of an overall impression. 

Gran Turismo, according to my notes, stars Archie Medekwe as Gran Turismo videogame star player, Jann Mardenborough. Jann has long dreamed of becoming a race car driver but that particular track of profession, is not available to most people. Though the movie only glances in the direction of any kind of social conscience, it's clear that many drivers have had long time ties to family and corporate racing interests. Trying to independently become a race car driver, especially on the European circuit, is beyond merely a pipedream. 

The closest that Jann can come is spending most of his waking hours playing the game Gran Turismo, a real life hit videogame series. Created by Kazunori Yamauchi, Gran Turismo is a painstaking recreation of what it is like to race on European race tracks. Yamauchi dedicated years to capturing the cars, the tracks, pit crew experience, everything down to the minute pieces of the car, in order to create a racing simulator so lifelike, it feels like the real thing. I've never played Gran Turismo, I don't play many videogames, nothing against them, but I was really impressed by the glimpses of the game we get in this movie. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review Shazam

Shazam (2019) 

Directed by David F. Sandberg

Written by Henry Gayden 

Starring Zachary Levi, Djimon Hounsou, Mark Strong, Jack Dylan Grazer 

Release Date April 5th, 2019 

Published April 4th, 2019 

Shazam stars Zachary Levi in the story of a boy named Billy Batson. Billy is 15 years old, young Billy is played by Asher Angel, and an orphan. Years earlier, Billy was separated from his mother at a carnival in Philadelphia. She disappeared and young Billy is convinced that he simply needs to find her again so they can be reunited as a family. The reality that his mother never looked for him after that day is something he is eager to overlook.

Since he was 4 years old, Billy has been shuttled from several foster homes that he has abandoned to hit the streets searching for his mother. The latest home is one filled with a diverse group of kids that are Billy’s age and younger and who seem open to welcoming him to the family. That can only happen however, once Billy opens himself to his new family and that is part of the plot journey of Shazam.

The plot of the movie kicks in when Billy saves his new brother, Freddy (Jack Dylan Grazer) from some school bullies and winds up impressing the wizard known as “Shazam” (Djimon Hounsou) with his bravery. For years, Shazam has kept the spirits of the seven deadly sins locked away while he searched for someone pure of heart to take over his magical powers. He chooses Billy despite his misgivings about Billy’s selfishness in his search for his mother.

With the power of Shazam, Billy grows into a more than 6 foot tall, red-suited, white caped, gold-booted, superhero. It takes a while, but eventually, he realizes that he can switch between his superhero persona and his kid persona by saying the name Shazam. This leads to a legitimately charming sequence, overly familiar from just about every superhero debut movie, in which he and Freddy begin to test his superhero powers.

We should be put off by this sequence as we’ve seen the same thing in Iron Man, Captain America, Batman, each iteration of the Spider-Man movies, Ant-Man, et cetera. And yet, despite the cliche, these scenes do work in Shazam. I didn’t mind the cliche this time because Zachary Levy and Jack Dylan Grazer are having such a good time with these cliches. The fun they are having doing these scenes is palpable and I had fun because they were having so much fun.

It turns out, much to my surprise, that Zachary Levy was perfect for the role of a childlike superhero. My personal bias against Levy for his dimwitted performance on TV’s Chuck and his dreadful role in one of the more recent Chipmunk movies had blinded me to the legitimate talent he has for silliness. That talent for silliness is exactly what Shazam needed to separate it from the otherwise dour and glowering D.C movie universe.

D.C has a reputation for being grim, especially under the direction of Zach Snyder.This universe needed something like Shazam to force the universe into a more of a fun place to be. That vibe began with James Wan’s Aquaman, but Shazam is the first real exploration of a comedic place within the D.C universe. It’s a course correction for D.C where director-auteur Snyder seemed to believe that the only way to escape the shadow of Marvel was to go almost absurdly serious.

If D.C ever brings the Justice League together again, Shazam will provide a strong leavening force, a lightheartedness that may be the key to bringing this to a place where the Marvel movies have been from the beginning, an entertaining and fun and exciting place. The all or nothing, apocalyptic vibe of the D.C Universe was the worst part of the Superman movies and while Wonder Woman made that tolerable, we needed a movie like Shazam to bring a little light into that darkness.

This is rather ironic coming from Swedish born director David F Sandberg whose previous features were the horror movies Lights Out and Annabelle: Creation. He’s not exactly the guy you would expect to bring lighthearted fun to the DCEU but that is exactly what he’s done. Shazam has a lot of laughs, a lot of big laughs. Laughs in which we are more often than not laughing with the movie and not at the movie.

That was a major concern for me based off of the trailer for Shazam. I was concerned that I would find the movie pathetic and laugh at things that perhaps were not intended while not laughing in places where laughs were sought. I didn’t laugh much at the film’s trailer which wasn’t embarrassingly bad but was definitely awkward and leaned far too heavily on the immaturity of the character of Shazam.

The movie leans heavily on that same immaturity but given a little more room to breathe, Zachary Levy makes it work. And when it is time for the movie to take on a modest amount of seriousness in the final act, Levy makes that work as well, he earns enough of the needed weight for us to genuinely care about him and his newfound family and the peril posed by the film’s big bad, played by Mark Strong.

Here, unfortunately, is where I must talk about the flaws of Shazam. Mark Strong is unquestionably the weakest part of this movie. His Dr Sivana is remarkably unremarkable. Strong is a fine actor but I didn’t buy into his charismatic, free, whiny villain. We spend far too much time on his uninteresting backstory and he’s further undone by the underwhelming special effects that make up both the Seven Deadly Sins and the rubbery CGI Strong in the flying scenes.

Sylvana's backstory is part of why Shazam’s runtime is way too long. As enjoyable as the movie is, it is terribly bloated at more than 130 minutes. The film repeats a little too much of Billy and Shazam being frightened and incompetent and while the idea of a learning curve for a kid superhero makes sense, the film could have used a device to speed things up so that the middle didn’t sag so much. Losing a few minutes from Sivana’s full backstory would have been a good first step.

Nevertheless, even a bloated runtime and underwhelming villain didn’t prevent me from enjoying Shazam. The film has way too many good laughs and way too much fun for me to dislike it. Shazam is joyously silly and yet still a movie that can fit nicely into the overall DCEU. The four franchises needed a lighthearted shot in the arm ala Ant-Man in the Marvel Universe, and Shazam is a terrific comedic fit.

Movie Review Serenity

Serenity (2019) 

Directed by Steven Knight 

Written by Steven Knight

Starring Matthew McConaughey, Jason Clarke, Anne Hathaway, Diane Lane, Djimon Hounsou 

Release Date January 25th, 2019

Published January 19th, 2019 

Serenity is a highly ambitious and deeply misbegotten attempt to make a modern film noir. Writer-Director Steven Knight has something going for him in Serenity but continues to undermine himself and his movie with bizarre choices that lead to an unsatisfying and almost laughable, laugh out loud conclusion. The film strands an incredible cast in what approximates a Shyamalan level of lunatic aspiration. 

Matthew McConaughey stars in Serenity as, no I am not making this up, Baker Dill. Baker is a fishing boat captain catering to tourists on a mysterious tropical island called Plymouth. Baker has a passion for fishing but specifically a passion for one specific fish, a giant Tuna that he has come to call Justice, and yes it is a heavily tortured metaphor. No points for guessing that as the film hammers the point into your brain pan. 

Baker is seemingly driven only by this giant tuna but lately other things have begun to permeate his consciousness. Specifically, Baker has recently been plagued by memories and visions of a son he left behind when he went to war in Iraq. Upon his return, his then girlfriend and the mother of his child, Karen (Anne Hathaway), has moved on and married another man and cut Baker out of her and her son’s life. 

Baker’s visions of his son are truly bizarre as he appears to be able to hear his son’s voice and vaguely communicate with him with some sort of water based ESP. In one of the film’s epically bizarre scenes, a naked Baker swims in the ocean with his also naked teenage son. Why? There is no good reason, it’s just something that director Steven Knight thought might communicate the strange, water based ESP thing I mentioned before. The nudity is an off-putting choice to say the least. 

Out of the water, Baker is approached by his ex-wife with a proposition. Karen wants Baker to take her husband Frank (Jason Clarke) out fishing and toss him to the fishes. In exchange, Karen is offering $10 million dollars and perhaps the chance to see his son again. Baker immediately rejects the idea despite Karen telling him that Frank has been abusive toward her and toward their son. After meeting the epically awful Frank, Baker still resists but will his psychic connection to his son change his mind. 

No, that last line is not me being snarky… well, not entirely snarky. The plot does legitimately turn on whether Baker’s fuzzy, incomplete, ESP connection to his son will cause him to accept the offer to murder Frank and it is as goofy as that sounds. There is a great deal more however to the connection between father and son including a looney final act twist that left me utterly gobsmacked. The ending of Serenity is surprising but not a good surprise, more of a WTF surprise. 

In an effort to take the classic noir thriller to a place that might appeal to the hip, modern, technically advanced older teen and twenty-something crowd, director Steven Knight has conceived a twist that is remarkably hokey and tone deaf. It’s the kind of twist that middle aged folks like myself laugh at and younger types will straight up ignore in the way you ignore grandpa’s less than helpful comments on Facebook posts. 

It’s a twist that works remarkably well at alienating audiences of all ages, uniting generations in eye-rolls of epic proportions and derisive laughter that will last till we reach the parking lot of the local theater. Honestly, I do admire the sheer madness of the twist attempted in Serenity but I can’t help but mock the result. The execution is so laughable and clumsy that jaw dropping exasperation can only evolve into giggles of sheer schadenfreude. 

I take no genuine pleasure in laughing at rather than with Serenity. These are a group of incredibly talented actors and a director I really do respect. Steven Knight directed Locke, an exceptional and experimental thriller that got the best out of the great Tom Hardy and demonstrated the talent for talking out loud to himself that would make Venom so sneakily entertaining. Knight knows how to make a movie. Serenity is merely an example of a hill too hard to climb to a destination that wasn’t worth climbing to. 

Movie Review Never Back Down

Never Back Down (2008) 

Directed by Jeff Wadlow 

Written by Chris Hauty 

Starring Sean Faris, Cam Gigandet, Evan Peters, Djimon Hounsou 

Release Date March 14th, 2008

Published March 15th, 2008 

It is fair to wonder, as we watch the stream of PG-13 garbage like Never Back Down roll out, could someone like Ralph Macchio even have a chance of being a lead actor today? Looking over the last five years worth of movies even remotely similar to Macchio's teen fluff of the 80's you find nothing but buffed up, gap models.

Moreover, rarely do you see someone who might be, to adopt the vernacular of the casually racist, too ethnic. Ralph Macchio, with that hint of olive in his skin and slight northeast accent, would likely be left to fend for a best friend role. Daniel son in the 2008 version would likely be played by Sean Faris.

Jake Tyler (Sean Faris) was a hotshot football star at his little high school in Iowa. Now however, as his mother moves him and his little sister to Tampa Florida, he is ready to leave football behind and settle into high school anonymity. His hopes of becoming a wallflower disappear however when he falls for a hottie named Baja (Amber Heard) who happens to be the girlfriend of the school bully.

He is Ryan McCarthy (Cam Gigandet) and he runs the school by beating the crap out of people. He holds underground mixed martial arts contests and is the undisputed king of the school. For Jake to win Baja's heart and change the landscape of the school he must train and become the new, benevolent, king of the school. To do that he seeks out the help of an ex-MMA champ turned gym owner (Djimon Hounsou) who trains him and becomes something of a father figure.

I'm sure many critics made the connection between Never Back Down and The Karate Kid but it bears repeating. That film starred Ralph Macchio as the picture of innocence, a sweet youngster who, through the teachings of Mr. Miyagi, finds confidence and inner strength through beating people up. Never Back Down is the exact same formula, right down to stealing the bad guy's girl, but with better looking actors and the fad of mixed martial arts.

Djimon Hounsou is a much more female friendly version of Mr. Myagi with his chiseled physique and exotic accent. And Amber Head's lolita like Baja, dressed only in short skirts and tight bikinis, a stark contrast to Elizabeth Shue's charming innocence and love of fluffy sweaters tied at the shoulder. Finally, there is star Sean Faris who plays the Daniel character only with more muscles and less.... Ethnicity.

Mixed Martial Arts is having its moment in the cultural spotlight and seems likely to carve out a small place for itself. In that sense, Never Back Down is certainly timely if not in any way original. Of course, MMA is merely a cultural touchstone for Never Back Down not really a milieu. The fights are cut quickly to avoid any actual contact that might mess up the GQ ready faces of the stars.

Think I'm exaggerating? Check out one of the fight scenes in Never Back Down and the scene that follows. After repeatedly pounding one another, fighters arrive at school the next day with a bandaid over an eye minus any visible bruise, cuts or contusions. While you're at it, find yourself a real MMA fighter, you aren't likely to find one who looks much like Sean Faris or Cam Gigandot.

To ask for realism from any movie, let alone a lame little teen movie is admittedly, ludicrous. But equally as ludicrous is a fight movie starring guys who look as if they have never been in a fight before. Say what you will about the waifish innocence of Ralph Macchio, each time he fought in The Karate Kid he came out looking like he had been in a fight.

Karate Kid was a modest pop melodrama but everything about it is superior to Never Back Down. In fact Karate Kid puts the lie to Never Back Down in every way imaginable. Where one has characters we believe and come to care about, the other has cardboard cutouts borrowed from body spray commercials. 

Movie Review Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life

Lara Croft Tomb Raider The Cradle of Life 

Directed by Jan De Bont

Written by Dean Georgaris 

Starring Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Noah Taylor, Ciaran Hinds, Djimon Hounsou, Til Schweiger 

Release Date July 25th, 2003

Published July 24th, 2003 

The first Tomb Raider, directed by action hack Simon West, was typical Hollywood action. Big, dumb and loud. That the film was even mildly watchable can only be attributed to its star, the charismatic, sexy Angelina Jolie. Despite the underperformance of the film at the box office, Paramount locked into a sequel even before the first film was completed. Enter director Jan De Bont, master of the big, dumb, loud action picture and what you get is another dull exercise in Hollywood action movie-making with another performance by Angelina Jolie that is the film’s only strong point.

Lady Croft is back in tomb raiding mode after an earthquake off the coast of Greece opens an underwater tomb that once belonged to Alexander the Great. Croft, with a pair of assistants, raids the tomb and finds a number of valuable artifacts. Most important to Lara is a glowing orb of indeterminate origin. Croft doesn't get much of a chance to investigate it as she and her assistants are attacked by members of a Chinese gang who steal the orb and leave Croft for dead.

Naturally Lara escapes and with the help of British intelligence learns that the gang members were working on behalf of the world’s most wanted terrorist, a former Nobel prize winning scientist named Jonathan Reiss. The orb that Reiss is purchasing from the gang members is actually a map that leads to the most dangerous weapons in the world, Pandora's Box.

It's Lara's mission to steal the orb from the Chinese gang before they can sell it to Reiss but to do that she needs the help of an ex-flame and former army colonel named Terry Sheridan. However, Sheridan will need to be sprung from prison before he can help. Sheridan is in jail in Russia after betraying his troops and selling secrets to an unnamed enemy. The past between Sheridan and Lara as well as Sheridan's treachery add an interesting level to the partnership and Jolie and Butler have a good chemistry.

All of that setup takes a while and even as it happens, we are treated to a number of big, dumb, loud action scenes. The tomb that once belonged to Alexander The Great is completely destroyed in Lara's shootout with gang members. This sequence features some God-awful effects. Especially bad is a scene where Lara climbs a large stone likeness of Alexander to get to the glowing orb. Lara is obviously not Angelina Jolie or even a stunt double. 

It looked to me as though it were the CGI video game Lara Croft. The action sequence that followed the fight and the destruction of the tomb is just as bad as Lara cuts her arm to attract a shark, which she then punches in the face and rides to the surface. It would have been more appropriate had Lara jumped the shark. Once on the surface Lara finds her boat has been sunk and she is left floating on a piece of it for three days, the cut on her arm and the sharks conveniently forgotten.

From there it's more big, dumb action. Bullets are fired at a rate that would make our military blush and more bad CGI stunt sequences test the patience of attentive audience members. The film’s most unintentionally funny moment happens when a camera travels over the ocean, a chuckle-inducing reminder of De Bont's Speed 2.

The only appealing aspect of Tomb Raider is star Angelina Jolie. The star is the only person involved in the film who isn't on autopilot. Her charisma is undeniable and can't be reigned in by the weak script and weaker action. Her co-star Gerard Butler wakes up occasionally to spark some sexual chemistry with Jolie but he is too busy auditioning to be the next James Bond to become a fully fleshed out character in Tomb Raider. Jolie's real co-star is that silver bodysuit she wears in the underwater tomb sequence, a wardrobe piece that will fuel the fantasies of teenage boys for years to come.

For all of Jolie's effort, she never really had a chance. The producers of Tomb Raider 2 wanted a by the numbers action movie that capitalized on the video game’s built in appeal and they got it. Just like the original Tomb Raider, the sequel hits all the usual action beats that are familiar to audiences. Paramount pictures will likely get exactly the results they were looking for from Tomb Raider 2. (Ed. Note – They didn’t, much to your pleasure)

Movie Review: Biker Boyz

Biker Boyz (2003) 

Directed by Reggie Rock Blythewood

Written by Reggie Rock Blythewood 

Starring Derek Luke, Laurence Fishburne, Orlando Jones, Djimon Hounsou, Lisa Bonet, Brenden Fehr

Release Date January 31st, 2003

Published January 31st, 2003 

How many actors have been hailed as the next big thing? Hundreds maybe thousands. How many of them turn out to be for real? Two, maybe three. Derek Luke, coming off his successful debut in Antwone Fisher, is getting that buzz right now. Does he deserve it? Maybe. But what is certain about Luke is that even if the buzz about his star potential wears off he can fall back on his acting, which is unquestionably strong. His first big budget rollout, the motorcycle racing picture Biker Boyz, isn't nearly as good as it's star but is greatly improved by his acting presence.

Luke stars as Kid, the son of a mechanic (Eric LaSalle in a minor cameo) who is a member of California's most successful bike-racing gang, The Black Knights. Kid's dad is the head mechanic for the King of Cali, Smoke played by Larry Fishburne. The title King of Cali signifies that Smoke is the top motorcycle racer in all of California. Kid is an apprentice member of the Knights until one fateful night when Smoke is challenged by a racer named Chu Chu (Terrence Howard) and during the race an accident kills Kid's dad.

Kid drops out of the Black Knight's but doesn't give up riding bikes. A few months after his father's death Kid is back on the underground-racing scene running a scam with a buddy named Stuntman (Brendon Fehr). The scam is that Stuntman pretends to be drunk and Kid, using his previous connections in the underground, tricks someone into believing the drunk guy has challenged him. However, after Kid is spotted with Stuntman, he is called in front of the leaders of the underground racing gangs who inform that if he is caught running a scam in their midst he will be killed. Only Smoke keeps them from killing him right then. 

Kid and Stuntman decide they are going legit and want to challenge Smoke for the King of Cali crown but to do that they must start their own gang and thus the Biker Boyz are born. Kid's riding attracts a large group of followers including a smoking hot tattoo artist named Tina (Meagan Good).  All of this is leading to a race between Kid and Smoke, but not before the film turns in a melodramatic twist that tests the audiences patience and the script's believability. The melodrama is on par with the lamest soap opera at a point in the film where the audience just wants to see the cool bikes and the racing.

Director Reggie Rock Blythewood too often let's Biker Boyz meander into the dramatic subplots involving Kid's mother (Vanessa Bell Calloway) as well as Smoke and Kid's father, when he should be taking advantage of the exciting race sequences.

Unfortunately, the racing sequences aren't even that exciting. Kid's first race has a great moment where Kid stands up on the bike and crosses the finish line first after entering the race well after it started. However, there just isn't enough racing. There are plenty of shots of motorcycles and shots of the gangs riding there bikes in formation down city streets. Still, none of these scenes evokes the energy that made the Fast & the Furious a fun and exciting ride.

One of the films biggest mistakes is it's soundtrack, which employs slow silky R & B tunes that suck the energy out of the racing scenes. In the films climactic race scene the filmmakers go with an orchestral score instead of a more appropriate rap or heavy metal tune. The orchestral score is sleep inducing and derivative. It's the same kind of orchestral flourish that accompanies the winning moment of a sports movie.

The films cast is populated by numerous recognizable faces in small roles including Orlando Jones, Lisa Bonet, Tyson Beckford, Lorenz Tate, Djimon Hounsou and Kid Rock. At times, there are so many recognizable faces it's like a Hells Angel's version of the Love Boat.  Larry Fishburne is beginning to show his age, looking paunchy and tired throughout most of the film. Let's hope he gets his energy and intensity back for the Matrix sequels later this year. 

No such problem for Derek Luke who brings the film an energy it desperately needs. His chemistry with love interest Meagan Good is strong and sexual. Luke is Biker Boyz's one great asset and I don't want to imagine what the film would have been like without him. Biker Boyz has been compared with The Fast & the Furious but the comparison isn't favorable. Fast & the Furious was big, dumb and loud but it had this energetic quality, a sort of kitschy machismo that made it funny and exciting. Furious used it's implausibilities to make the film funny in a stupid unintended way. 

Biker Boyz on the other hand is quiet in comparison. It wants to be taken seriously as a drama rather than capitalize on the hyper kinetic racing scenes and MTV-style editing that made Furious so much fun. Biker Boyz needs less melodrama and more adrenaline. Pump up the soundtrack and drop the subplots. Hire one of those X-Games directors and let racing be the film's focus and maybe Biker Boyz could work.  As it is though it's a dull film that provides a good vehicle for Derek Luke to show off his talent. Still, it isn't as good as it could have been. 

Movie Review The Four Feathers

The Four Feathers (2002) 

Directed by Shakur Kapur 

Written by Michael Schiffer, Hossein Amini 

Starring Heath Ledger, Wes Bentley, Kate Hudson, Djimon Hounsou, Michael Sheen, 

Release Date September 20th, 2002 

Published September 19th, 2002 

Director Shakar Kapur splashed on the scene with 1998's spectacular Elizabeth. While Cate Blanchett made the movie brilliant, Kapur's production design made it beautiful. In Kapur's new film, The Four Feathers, Kapur's lush visual style is in place. Unfortunately, he doesn't have Cate Blanchett to save the film’s weak dialogue and characters.

Heath Ledger stars as Harry Favisham, an up and coming British soldier under the command of his father and soon to marry Ethne, played by Kate Hudson. American Beauty's Wes Bentley plays Harry's best friend Jack Durrance. Also a soldier, Jack is nursing a jealous crush on Ethne. When Harry and Jack's regiment is told they will be shipping out to war in the Sudan, Jack is excited to finally have the opportunity to fight for his country, Harry isn't so sure. 

Deciding that his fear of death outweighs his love of country, Harry resigns his commission and leaves the Army. After learning of Harry's actions his friends, except for Jack, send him 3 feathers. The feathers are a symbol of cowardice. The fourth feather, as mentioned by the film’s title, comes not from Jack, but from Ethne who decides social status is more important than love.

Disgraced and alone, Harry follows the troops movements through community bulletin boards where the army places lists of soldiers who have died. After hearing that his former regiment had taken heavy casualties, Harry heads for Sudan to help them. Once in Sudan Harry nearly dies trying to find the British troops. He is saved by an African slave named Abou Fatma (Djimon Hounsou). We’re not certain why Abou saves Harry, nor do we know why he stays with him to keep him safe, Harry does nothing to earn Abou's loyalty.

There are other plot strands in The Four Feathers but nothing very memorable. It's mostly filler, something to do while Kapur and cinematographer Robert Richardson make a lovely Sudanese travel video. If it weren't for endless civil wars and lack of clean water, Sudan might be a beautiful place to visit. At least as it looks, according to Kapur and Richardson. Actually the film was shot in Morocco, so who knows what Sudan actually looks like. The cinematography, no matter where it took place, is at times breathtaking.

The performances and story of The Four Feathers are the film’s weakest points. Ledger, desperately trying to break out of the teen hunk mold, never paints a realistic portrait of a British soldier. He is at times too goofy or too emotional. His traits are too Americanized to be British. Both Hudson and Bentley, who are actually Americans, have the same problems Ledger does though to their credit their accents weren't bad.

The film’s biggest problem is the narrative, which asks the audience to root for a character, Harry, who is a coward. Harry has no conviction and no politics; he is simply a coward too afraid to lay down his life for his country. Some Hero! Had Harry had some real intellectual reason as to why he would not go to war he would be easy to identify with, as there were numerous good reasons to not go to war. For one, why Sudan? It's not like it served any strategic purpose, it's just a desert. Why fight a war in which the sole purpose is killing enough people to be able to claim useless desert land? These however are my reasons for not going to war, not Harry's. He was just a chicken.

Bentley's Jack is no better. While he didn't condemn his friend’s cowardice with a feather he does use it as justification to make a move on Ethne. Even after learning of Harry's going to Sudan to save him, the weasel hides the information from Ethne whom he intends to marry. As for Hudson, her Ethne might have better been named “plot device,” as she is merely in place to provide motivation to the male leads. Hudson, who was spectacular in Almost Famous, never creates a real character in The Four Feathers, her role could have been played by anyone and had the same impact.

The Four Feathers has the visual style of a sweeping desert war epic, but lacks the heart and ingenuity necessary for epic filmmaking. The Four Feathers suffers in comparison this weekend to the limited re-release of Lawrence Of Arabia, the template for sweeping war epics. Lawrence Of Arabia makes The Four Feathers look like a high school production.

Movie Review Seventh Son

Seventh Son (2015) 

Directed by Sergei Bodrov

Written by Charles Leavitt, Steven Knight

Starring Jeff Bridge, Julianne Moore, Ben Barnes, Alicia Vikander, Kit Harrington, Olivia Williams, Djimon Hounsou 

Release Date February 6th, 2015 

Published February 5th, 2015

There is a sad and desperate affliction plaguing middle aged Hollywood stars. I’ve come to call it “Nicolas-Cage-Itis.” NCI, as we will henceforth refer to it, strikes when an actor reaches of a level of age and stardom where they are no longer seen as viable leading men but can’t pull themselves from in front of the camera.

The dissonance between their faded place in the pop ephemera and their own perception of their pop mortality clash and a level of madness emerges that leads to making movies of questionable taste and quality. John Cusack, for one, has succumbed mightily to NCI and will in 2015 star in a film project so bereft it likely will never be seen outside of China.

Other actors look on the verge of an NCI flare up, Johnny Depp is perilously close, Keanu Reeves seems to have pulled back from the brink but still could go either way and Tom Cruise is just one batshit crazy sci-fi movie from a full blown case. Sadly, however, the most recent fully diagnosed case of NCI is Academy Award winner and all around good dude Jeff Bridges.

With his “RIPD,” “The Giver,” and “Seventh Son” triumvirate it’s clear Bridges is in the throes of a full on Nicolas-Cage-Itis breakdown. He’s already begun the ‘bizarre accents are why I make movies’ phase of the illness. Soon, he will be experimenting with his hairline and having massive tax problems.

“Seventh Son” was the final piece of the NCI diagnosis. This misbegotten YA adventure movie stars Bridges as a mystical witch hunter named Master Gregory and while you might be tempted to believe Bridges wanted to play a mystical witch hunter named Master Gregory on a lark, it’s clear he chose the role because he was allowed to speak in a manner of his choosing, something akin to Morgan Freeman without teeth.

Yes, the accent is really the only reason Bridges wanted to play Master Gregory. Any director indulgent enough to allow his star to mush mouth his way through an ostensibly teen-friendly blockbuster adventure clearly isn’t asking much of his star. No, Bridges and his star power quite clearly dominate every aspect of “Seventh Son” which means nothing too challenging and only the vaguest sense that anyone gives the slightest damn about the material.

Joining Bridges with her own mild case of NCI is Academy Award nominee Julianne Moore. Bridges’ Lady Friend from “The Big Lebowski” plays a witch that Gregory once loved, then hunted and now hunts again after she escapes from the prison he made her years before. The love story aspect is left thankfully to the willing imagination as the movie is given over to high camp vamping and the chewing of scenery.

It’s difficult to decide what is more dispiriting about “Seventh Son:” Bridges and Moore’s dull, camp excess or the abysmal love story tacked on to their teenage sidekicks. Ben Barnes Barnes and Alicia Vikander play star-crossed lovers, witch-hunter apprentice and witch, respectively, with about as much romantic chemistry as mismatched shelving units. If you need a sense of just how invested the film is in Barnes’ apprentice character, his name is Tom Ward. Tom Ward. “Seventh Son” is set in a world of Witches, Dragons and shape shifting Bears and Leopards and they are battled by a guy named Tom. At least Gregory gets call himself ‘Master.’

“Seventh Son” is an incredibly depressing piece of work. It’s a YA adaptation, it’s dreary and lumbering with about as much wonder and excitement as a trip to the DMV. But, of course, the dreariest of the dreary is watching Jeff Bridges entertain himself. Bridges is playing an elaborate prank that’s only funny for him. He’s fully aware of how ridiculous he looks and sounds but he’s also wildly entertained by it. We, on the other hand, are just hurt that our hero won’t let us in on the joke.

Mr. Bridges’s case of NCI is in that hermetic stage where a selfish negation of all outside opinion leads to humiliating career decisions that the star doesn’t fully realize they’re making. NCI blinds the star from seeing how silly they look and consequently divorces them from reality enough that they take a strange pride in their own oddity.

Can Mr. Bridges recover from this devilish disease? It’s hard to say. The progenitor of NCI, Nicolas Cage Esquire, does, on occasion, allow his talent to emerge from behind his lunacy but seemingly only by accident. Maybe it will be by accident that we will once again see Mr. Bridges. For now, sadly, his NCI has fully overtaken his good sense and “Seventh Son” is the signifier of his full blown madness.

Movie Review The Island

The Island (2005) 

Directed by Michael Bay 

Written by Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, Caspian Tredwell-Owen 

Starring Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Djimon Hounsou, Sean Bean, Steve Buscemi 

Release Date July 22nd, 2005 

Published July 21st, 2005 

If you cannot appreciate the exquisite irony of director Michael Bay remaking a film, Parts: The Clonus Horror, that was a feature attraction on the cult TV classic "Mystery Science Theater 3000", then clearly we are not on the same page. Here you have the single most hackneyed director of all big budget directors taking on material that is already bad with the chance to actually make it worse. That is just beautiful.

(Note: According to recent litigation, Michael Bay and Dreamworks are fighting a copyright lawsuit from the Director of Parts: The Clonus Horror)

My enjoyment however is short lived. Because, though I still despise the work of Mr. Bay, I cannot hate his new film The Island, a film that inspires admiration for being the rare remake of a bad film into a moderately watchable film. There is something praiseworthy about not remaking a good film and instead making a bad film better. That doesn't mean The Island is a great film but it is at least much better than I had expected.

Ewan McGregor stars in The Island as Lincoln Six Echo, one of only thousands of survivors of some sort of plague that has contaminated the earth. Forced to live in an underground facility, Lincoln and his fellow white-jump suited neighbors have their every whim catered to and every action monitored. After surviving the plague, with the help of Dr. Merrick (Sean Bean), each of the survivors had to relearn how to read, write and do generally anything that may have come easily to them before.

This is not exactly the most exciting way to live. In between being re-educated, Lincoln cannot eat what he wants, a computer monitors his every action, and he cannot interact with the opposite sex for fear of.... well we aren't sure. It is just forbidden by the powers that be that the survivors cannot be involved with one another. This is hard on poor Lincoln whose best friend is the beautiful Jordan Two Delta (Scarlett Johannsson) who seems to share Lincoln's forbidden attraction.

The only real excitement in the facility is a nightly lottery where one person is selected to leave for the final unspoiled place in the world, The Island. It's a dreamlike paradise in place to keep people doing their jobs and not rocking the boat out of fear they will never be allowed into paradise. Lincoln, however, seems unconcerned about the island.  That is not to say he is not interested in the outside world, but he prefers the earthy meanderings of one of the facilities utility workers, McCord (played by Steve Buscemi), the rare person with a good memory of the world before the plague

It is while visiting McCord that Lincoln stumbles upon a frightening secret:  there is no island and his life and the lives of everyone he knows are not at all what they believe. The film's commercials give away what should have been a surprise twist.  There was no plague.  Lincoln, Jordan, and everyone they know, aside from Dr. Merrick and his staff, are clones. Lincoln and everyone he knows have been created as spare parts for rich people just in case they find themselves needing a kidney or liver or other body part. A trip to the Island is really a trip to execution after whatever necessary body parts are harvested.

The Island has a very intriguing sci-fi setup that establishes a classic sci-fi story in just the first third of the film. It's unfortunate that Bay abandons this direction after only 40 minutes or so. From there the film reverts to the classic Michael Bay formula: run, scream, boom! Lincoln is able to rescue Jordan right before she is to be shipped to the island and once they escape it's all explosions and chase scenes as Dr. Merrick hires ex-military mercenaries lead by Djimon Hounsou to track them down and kill them before they can reveal the secrets of the facility.

What I cannot deny is that much of The Island is very entertaining even after its most interesting scenes are long forgotten. Bay's explosions and chases are bigger and louder than ever. Stylistically, Mr. Bay has never evolved from his days directing commercials and music videos, however he has become more professional.  His work is tighter and better executed than it ever has been before. Now if he could only evolve past the need to stuff his film with product placement, maybe more of his films would be as watchable as The Island.

Mr. Bay's work on The Island is greatly aided by a story that is better than any Bay has ever attempted to tell. The sci-fi premise is intriguing and though it is too quickly abandoned, the two stars, Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johannsson deliver winning performances that carry the audience through Bay's usual special effects bonanzas. There has been a little buzz about the film having a message involving cloning but this is still a Michael Bay movie and messages or morals are really not welcome.

Working with Bay for the first time on The Island is Cinematographer Mauro Fiore and the teaming is a strong one. Deep cold blues and darkness fill the indoor scenes but it is when the characters leave the sci-fi prison that Mr. Fiore really shines.  Mr. Fiore's sun baked visuals mimic the feeling of the protagonists who have never seen the sun before.  At first it is bright, almost blinding, and then slightly burned but focused.  

Fiore was perfectly prepared to work with Bay after working twice with another music video veteran Antoine Fuqua, first on Training Day and then on Tears of the Sun. Both of those films featured a similar slightly washed out or burned look that played well against the stories being told. As strong as Mr. Fiore's work is Bay's visual style still tends toward the facile perfection of music videos, though that likely owes more to his quick-cut editing style and lemming-like loyalty to slow motion under and up camera moves.

The Island is not a great film but by the standards set by Michael Bay's previous films, it is a regular magnum opus.  I still don't hold a great deal of optimism for Bay's future career, so I might be inclined to even say this is his Citizen Kane.  About as close as he'll get at least.  By realistic standards, The Island is an entertaining but flawed sci-fi action piece with two terrific stars who make the film better by the force of their charisma and star power. For Mr. Bay, hopefully it's a sign that his next movie, an adaptation of the kids cartoon "Transformers", might not completely suck.