Classic Movie Review Renaissance Man

Renaissance Man (1994) 

Directed by Penny Marshall 

Written by Jim Burnstein 

Starring Danny Devito, Mark Wahlberg, Gregory Hines, James Remar, Cliff Robertson

Release Date June 3rd, 1994

Published June 5th, 2024 

When I described what the movie Renaissance Man was about to my co-hosts on the I Hate Critics 1994 Podcast, they refused to believe that I was telling the truth. They refused to believe that Danny Devito plays an advertising executive who becomes a teacher on a military base and saves a group of at-risk soldiers by teaching them Shakespeare via hip hop. Reading back my description, I can understand the incredulous responses of my co-hosts. Reading back my own description, I can't really believe that the movie Renaissance Man exists. I also cannot believe that a movie this hackneyed and mawkish was directed by someone as talented as Penny Marshall. In fact, I choose to believe this was directed by her hack brother Garry as this is exactly the kind of tripe he always directed. 

Indeed, Renaissance Man stars Danny Devito as Bill Rago, a raging jerk of an ad-man who gets himself quite reasonably fired from his job for showing up late and generally bungling a big client meeting through his selfish, self-serving, arrogant, narcissism. Pro-Tip for screenwriters, how you introduce your main character is important, if you don't intend for us to hate your main character, come up with a way to introduce him that doesn't make us automatically loathe his presence. The fact this is Danny Devito and I cannot stand this character, says a lot. Devito is a beloved actor and seeing him in a lead role in a comedy should be welcoming. It's most assuredly not welcoming in Renaissance Man. 

Out of a job, Bill goes to the unemployment office were we get our third exposition dump in the first 15 minutes of this dreadful movie. Jennifer Lewis, a wonderful character actor, lays out the plot for us, does a bit of needless business that someone making this movie thought was funny, and then sends Bill on to the actual plot of the film. The unemployment office has found Bill a job on a military base. Since he has a masters degree, Bill will be teaching Basic Comprehension to a group of soldiers on the brink of being kicked out of the Army. 

The ragtag crew includes bumpkins and poor people of varying ethnicity. They bicker and bully and have no interest in saving their military careers until Bill decides to teach them Shakespeare. Apparently, learning and reciting Hamlet is somehow enough for these soldier to stay in the military after being on the brink of being kicked out? Who knows, this movie is so thoroughly idiotic that these soldiers could have watched a newsreel about venereal diseases and as long as they actually showed up, they would have been safe. So why does Bill even need to be here? Truly? The final exam for this 'Basic Comprehension' course that Bill randomly turns into a class on Shakespeare, is OPTIONAL. They don't have to take the final exam and they get to stay in the Army. What even is this movie? 

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal. 

Classic Movie Review The Crow

The Crow (1994) 

Directed by Alex Proyas 

Written by David J. Schow, John Shirley

Starring Brandon Lee, Ernie Hudson, Michael Wincott, Bai Ling, Michael Massee 

Release Date May 13th, 1994

Published May 21st, 2024 

The Crow is a haunting experience in more ways than one. It's a beautifully told tragic love story of grand ambition and a memorable goth aesthetic. But's also a virtual tomb for star Brandon Lee. Lee was killed in an on set accident that haunts every single frame of the movie. The dark coincidence of Lee dying while playing a character who was already dead adds a chilling layer to the movie that was, obviously never intended. And yet, the tragedy also deepens our connection to the character of Eric Draven and the romantic tragedy that was supposed to be his defining characteristic.

In Detroit, Devil's Night is a tradition in which the criminal underworld rises up to remind the populace who is really in charge of the city. This is a city of criminals, mercenaries, and crime lords who assert dominance through violence. Making people afraid is good for business and thus, when Shelly, a lovely young, soon to be married young woman complains about the condition of the apartment she shares with her soon to be husband, Eric (Lee), reprisal is needed to show her and everyone else that the apartment owner is not to be trifled with.

It's genuinely unknown if the criminals who attacked Shelly on Devil's Night intended to kill her or just violently terrify her into silence. Regardless, when Eric arrives and interrupts the violent encounter, the stakes go up and Eric is killed. Shelly will die soon after from the horrific injuries inflicted upon her. The pure agony of these deaths are a wound on the universe. It's as if the price paid by Shelly and Eric was so out of proportion to the good in the world that the universe needed to offer a correction of some sort. Therein lies The Crow.

A year after his death, with the despair and agony of his death still lingering over the people who knew and cared about he and Shelly, Eric Draven rises from the grave. A singular crow stands atop his grave and will guide Eric on his brief sojourn back into the world of the living. The bargain the universe has made to balance the scales for the death of Eric and Shelly, is to have Eric return to the Earth to kill the men who killed Shelly. This includes everyone who attacked Shelly in the apartment and the man who orchestrated the attack, a crime boss nicknamed Top Dollar (Michael Wincott).

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal. Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal. 

Classic Movie Review Dream Lover

Dream Lover (1994) 

Directed by Nicholas Kazan

Written by Nicholas Kazan

Starring James Spader, Madchen Amick, Bess Armstrong, Larry Miller

Release Date May 6th, 1994 

Published May 6th 2024 

Okay, so hear me out, this is my secret plan. I saw this guy who is really handsome and rich and has his own business. So, what I am going to do is steal his money. Here's how I am going to do it, stay with me, it's complicated. So, I am waiting for him to finalize his divorce. Then, several weeks or perhaps months, after he's been on a bunch of dates with a bunch of women he's not interested in, I will meet him at this art opening that he's supposed to be attending. 

At the art gallery, while he's talking to another woman he's not interested in, I will position myself behind him with a glass of wine. When he turns around, I will say he spilled wine all over me and then storm out without giving him my name. Then, the next day, I will follow him when he's grocery shopping and approach him. Then, he will follow me and ask me to dinner. I will let him take me to dinner but then, I won't tell him how to get in touch with me for another date. 

My plan indicates that he will be so besotted with me that he will start stalking me, not knowing that I am already stalking him. Then, he will see me come home with another man and when that man leaves, he will find a way to find which speaker is connected to my apartment. And then I will let him come in and somehow, I will have just been in the shower, even though I was just answering my door to let him in my building. Then I will have sex with him after he jealously berates me for information about the guy who just left. I will say that guy's gay, so I save this guy's ego. 

So, we have sex and then several months later of us dating and having sex, we will get married. And then, after we've been married for a few months, I will have a baby. And then, after we've been married a few years, I will have another baby. And then, a few months after that, I will start leaving obvious clues about having an affair. And when he gets super-jealous and punches me in the face, I won't have him arrested, I will have him committed and once he's deemed crazy, boom, divorce, I take his money and the kids. 

What do you think? Don't worry about the hitting thing, he will punch me in the face and slap me and I will still put on makeup to fool the doctors that I was abused. I mean, I will have been abused but I am crazy, so I have to make it look like I am lying for no good reason. Then it will only confuse my husband and father of my children even more. Because I am crazy. It's a foolproof plan, it can't fail unless he somehow tricks me into going to see him at the asylum on the ruse that he's figured out my dastardly scheme and then chokes me to death using the excuse that he's crazy as cover so he can get out of the hospital when he recovers. But really, what are the chances of that happening right? 

That mulit-paragraph plot is the actual plot of the 1994 movie Dream Lover, from the perspective of Madchen Amick's crazy wife character Mina. It's my interpretation of her plan and it hopefully illustrates just how desperately convoluted this plot is. Written and directed by Nicholas Kazan, the character of Mina marries and has kids and builds a perfect upper class New York life with Ray Reardon, played by James Spader, all so that after 5 years of wedded bliss, she can blow up the whole thing to steal his money. 

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal. 

Horror in the 90's Brainscan

Brainscan (1994) 

Directed by John Flynn 

Written by Andrew Kevin Walker 

Starring Edward Furlong, Amy Hargreaves, T. Ryder Smith, Frank Langella 

Release Date April 22nd, 1994 

Published April 29th, 2024 

When I saw that the sci-fi horror movie Brainscan was written by Andrew Kevin Walker, famed screenwriter of David Fincher's Seven and the credited screenwriter on several famous Blacklist screenplays, I got a little excited. Walker is a brilliant, risky, and unpredictable screenwriter with a lurid edge to his work. I went from having exceedingly low expectations to curious and hopeful. Then, I watched Brainscan and my hopes were dashed. It turns out, Andrew Kevin Walker wrote and sold the screenplay seven years before it arrived in theaters as a very, very different movie. 

Brainscan stars Edward Furlong, fresh off his blockbuster role in Terminator 2: Judgment Day, as horror movie junkie, Michael. Michael's life revolves around horror movies. Alongside his best bud forever, Kyle (Jamie Marsh), Michael runs a horror movie club at school. The club has even attracted Michael's crush, his next door neighbor Kimberly (Amy Hargreaves), who we first meet as Michael is spying on her with a telescope as she undresses in front of her bedroom window, which is completely open. This is so the screenwriters can cheat and have dialogue indicating that Kimberly wants Michael to spy on her. 

See, he's not a creep, it's a weird fetish thing. It's totally okay. Not hard to tell that men wrote and directed Brainscan, is it? Anyway, getting past what a little creep Michael is, let's get back to his horror movie obsession. While reading Fangoria Magazine, in a bid for free coverage from the magazine, yay corporate synergy, am I right, anyway, Michael finds an ad for a new CD-Rom horror game called Brainscan. The game promises an immersive experience as you go inside the perspective of a serial murderer as he carries out a murder. 

As the title and plot indicate, Michael orders the game and sets about playing it while his friend's are having a party next door. Once the game begins, the outside world fades away and Michael finds himself inside a stranger's bedroom. There is a knife in his hand and Michael watches helplessly as the man is stabbed to death. We watch everything from the killer's perspective, as if Michael were the killer and we were in Michael's head. Waking up the next morning after playing the game, Michael is deeply disturbed. 

It turns out, spoiler alert: Michael was the one killing this guy. It turns out that the guy who got murdered is from Michael's neighborhood and the cops, headed up by Detective Hayden (Frank Langella) are crawling all over the place. When Michael runs home, having discovered that he was a killer, he encounters the breakout character of 1994, The Trickster (T. Ryder Smith). The Trickster is the host of Brainscan leading Michael through the four stages of gameplay. First up was the murder. Next, Michael has to play the game again if he wants to destroy the evidence that he's the killer. 

Find my full length review on Vocal's Horror Community 

Classic Movie Review Clifford

Clifford (1994) 

Directed by Paul Flaherty 

Written by Jay Dee Rock, Steven Kampman 

Starring Martin Short, Charles Grodin, Mary Steenburgen, Dabney Coleman 

Release Date April 1st, 1994

Published April 1st, 2024 

There has been a minor reassessment of the movie Clifford in recent years. Famously, actor Nicolas Cage spoke about being a fan of the film in relating a story about meeting Martin Short. The idea that Nicolas Cage fan-girled at meeting Martin Short and peppered him with praise for Clifford is a better and funnier story than anything in Clifford. I think there are people who adopted Clifford as their movie simply to be different from the rest of the world which roundly rejected this bizarre failure. Other than Nicolas Cage, who is seemingly incapable of irony, no one actually likes Clifford, they like being the person who says that they like Clifford. 

Clifford stars Martin Short as the title character, Clifford, a deeply spoiled and entitled 10 year old boy. On a trip to Hawaii, Clifford manages to nearly crash a plane in hopes of landing in Los Angeles where he hopes to take a trip to Dinosaur World. Clifford's parents, desperate to get away from their child, drop Clifford with his Uncle Martin (Charles Grodin). The timing is fortuitous for Martin who needs to convince his girlfriend, Sarah (Mary Steenburgen) that he likes kids and has a special relationship with his nephew. 

Unfortunately for Martin, he is not aware that his nephew is a 10 year old sociopath. Clifford's single minded desire to go to Dinosaur World leads him to destroy every aspect of his Uncle's life including breaking up Martin and Sarah, getting Martin fired from his job, and getting Martin arrested for planning to bomb City Hall. All of this is revenge for Martin failing to take Clifford to see Dinosaur World. All the while, Clifford plays the innocent child when Sarah or anyone else is around while turning malevolent when it's just he and his Uncle Martin. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

 

Classic Movie Review Car 54, Where Are You

Car 54, Where Are You? (1994) 

Directed by Bill Fishman

Written by Erik Tarloff, Ebbe Roe Smith, Peter McCarthy, Peter Crabbe

Starring David Johansen, John C. McGinley, Rosie O'Donnell, Fran Drescher, Nipsey Russell, Daniel Baldwin. 

Release Date January 28th, 1994

Published January 29th, 1994

If you think the Hollywood of today is fearful of releasing musicals, considering that both Wonka and Mean Girls were seemingly released without telling anyone they were musicals, you should see how scared of musicals Hollywood execs were in the early 1990s. Hollywood was so afraid of musicals in the early 1990s that they made two of them and then refused to release them as musicals. Two movies, released within one week of each other in 1994, began life as musicals and arrived in theaters minus most of their musical numbers. 

Naturally, that's not easy to do. In the case of the next movie I will be talking about for this series, I'll Do Anything, an entire film score written and performed by Prince, was scrapped after poor test screenings. This is deeply ironic as one of the songs was literally intended as the lament of a Hollywood movie producer character racked with angst over poor test screening scores. Hiring Prince to write and perform a film score is not cheap, scrapping it after paying him seems even more insane and expensive and yet that's what happened. 

The other musical that became not a musical just before being released in theaters was the film adaptation of the short lived 1950s sitcom, Car 54 Where Are You. The original concept for Car 54 Where Are You was as a painfully modern musical and an edgy reboot for one of the most edge-free sitcoms of Boomer youth. Instead of following the travails of cop buddies Toody and Muldoon as they try and trick their wives into letting them go fishing instead of spending time with their family, we have Toody, as played by David Johansen, delivering a hip hop infused dream sequence where he boogies while being celebrated as a neighborhood hero. 

This is one of two songs that producers felt they had to keep in Car 54 Where Are You. The other comes late in the film as Johansen jumps into sing a song that vaguely resembles his late 80s one-hit-wonder Hot, Hot Hot. All other songs have been excised, aside from a brief and deeply unfortunate scene where a pair of rappers encourage Jeremy Piven to attempt to beatbox. It's even more cringe-inducing than you imagine. Piven is a plot point character, a former mob account that Toody is assigned to keep safe. Naturally, our bumbling hero fumbles this task and the last act is trying to save Piven from a mobster played with dopey, broad, hamminess by Daniel Baldwin, the discount Baldwin brother. 

John C. McGinley is wasted in Car 54 Where Are You. Though the original series centered on the long term friendship and partnership of Toody and Muldoon, the movie transforms Muldoon into a no-nonsense rookie officer who gives tickets for Jaywalking or Spitting on the sidewalk. And, in another in a lengthy series of regrettable and poorly aged scenes, he tries to shoot a child suspect in the back as the child flees after stealing a $5.00 sandwich from a deli. Muldoon misses shooting the child and is lucky that he only shoots a watermelon as he fired into a crowd of people on a New York street. 

Click here for my review 

Classic Movie Review The Paper

The Paper (1994) 

Directed by Ron Howard 

Written by David Koepp, Steven Koepp

Starring Michael Keaton, Marisa Tomei, Randy Quaid, Glen Close, Robert Duvall

Release Date March 18th, 1994 

Published 

The Paper stars Michael Keaton as Henry Hackett, Metro Editor for a New York City tabloid perpetually on the brink of closing. With a baby on the way, with his reporter wife, Martha (Marisa Tomei), Henry is plotting an exit from the paper. On this day, as we join the story, Henry has an interview with a Wall Street Journal style, internationally respected newspaper. Henry doesn't want the job. He wants the money but he'd much rather stay at his current employer where he can get his hands dirty. Instead of being behind a desk with a fat paycheck, Henry needs the excitement of the metro page. 

Making Henry's choice to stay or go at his current gig difficult is his rival, Alicia (Glenn Close). Alicia is a former reporter and editor who is now a bean counter. She makes big decisions based on budgets instead of journalism and Henry resents her for switching sides. Henry doesn't want to end up working under Alicia and her penny pinching, thus another reason he's considering leaving. Holding him in place is his current boss, Bernie (Robert Duvall), a legendary editor and the final word at the paper. As long as Bernie is there, Alicia is mostly neutralized. But how much longer does Bernie have? 

These questions roil beneath the surface creating tension while the bigger story begins to unfold. The paper has missed a big story. Last night, a pair of businessmen were gunned down and every other newspaper in town ran with the story. The paper is playing catch up and Henry is determined not to get scooped for a second day in a row. He wants to know the moment an arrest is made so they can get the picture and the story on the front page that night. But first, what if the story is wrong? What if the eventual arrest of two black teenagers for the crime is wrong? 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Horror in the 90s: Leprechaun 2

Leprechaun 2 (1994) 

Directed by Rodman Flender

Written by Turi Meyer, Al Septien

Starring Warwick Davis, Tony Cox, Charlie Heath, Shevonne Durkin, Sandy Baron 

Release Date April 8th, 1994 

Box Office $2.3 Million 

It's an almost universal truth, if the story behind the scenes of your movie is more interesting than your movie, the movie generally stinks. This isn't always true, Titanic has a more interesting behind the scenes journey but Titanic is still quite a good movie. But, as a general rule, my point stands. Leprechaun 2 is a solid proof of concept for my thesis. The story behind Leprechaun 2 is far more interesting than this bland, boring, and unfunny comic horror movie. The first Leprechaun movie wasn't exactly a great movie either but the sequel is quite, quite bad. 

The story goes that no one behind the 1993 movie Leprechaun believed that the film would be a hit. Then, the film made 8 times its miniscule budget back in theatric grosses and became a home video monster, hitting the VHS market and becoming cash machine. So, of course, marketers with dollar signs dancing in their heads needed a sequel and immediately approached director Mark Jones and star Jennifer Aniston for a sequel. And, they both said no. Now, Jones wasn't a hard no, he was just busy making another horror movie called Rumpelstiltskin, a horror movie we all remember and revere today, I'm sure. 

Jennifer Aniston meanwhile is reported to have laughed so hard at the idea of leaving Friends for a sequel to Leprechaun that her guffaw could be heard across the galaxy. Friends wasn't yet the global phenomenon that it would become, but it was more than enough of a good reason for Aniston to blow off the makers of Leprechaun 2 in no uncertain terms. And so it was, without the man who wrote and directed the hit original and no Jennifer Aniston, the makers of Leprechaun 2 had only their Leprechaun, Warwick Davis, and nothing else in place. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Classic Movie Review Four Weddings and a Funeral

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) 

Directed by Mike Newell

Written by Richard Curtis 

Starring Hugh Grant, Andie McDowell, John Hannah, Simon Callow, Kristen Scott Thomas 

Release Date April 15th, 1994 

Published April 15th, 1994 

Four Weddings and a Funeral is exactly what the title says it is, four weddings and one funeral over a period of about a year in the life of a group of British friends. Charles (Hugh Grant) seems to attend a wedding a week these days. Despite his deplorable record as a ladies man, which will play out through the series of weddings that occur, Charles keeps getting invited to weddings and goes in with the hope of hooking up. He's cynical about love but secretly a romantic. We will learn this via his strange and strained relationship with Carrie (Andie McDowell). 

At the first of four weddings Charles attends he's the best man. Naturally, he nearly ruins the wedding by forgetting the rings. Thankfully, his friends, Tom (James Fleet), Gareth (Simon Callow), Matthew (John Hannah), and Fiona (Kristen Scott Thomas), along with Charles' sister, Scarlett (Charlotte Coleman), are able to bail him out. Narrowly avoiding that disaster, Charles stumbles into a potential non-disaster when he meets Carrie. For Charles, it's love at first sight. For Carrie, she seems to like the floppy Englishman but it takes a minute for her to warm to him. The two end up sleeping together, after some shenanigans, but then she's off, back to America. 

Cut to wedding number 2. Charles is just a guest this time and instead of nearly ruining the wedding, the universe appears to be ruining Charles' day. Not only were he and Scarlett nearly late to the wedding, they always are, he ends up at the reception sat at a table with not one, not two, but three of his ex-girlfriends. Each takes the time to tell a story about Charles, ones in which he appears to insult one of the other two exes. It's a catastrophe but one that he hope might be mitigated when he sees that Carrie has come to this wedding as well. This too however, is a disaster as Carrie is here with her new fiancée. This doesn't stop Charles and Carrie from hooking up but it's certainly not a good indication of long term plans. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Classic Movie Review Reality Bites

Reality Bites (1994)

Directed by Ben Stiller

Written by Helen Childress

Starring Winona Ryder, Ethan Hawke, Janeane Garofalo, Steve Zahn, Ben Stiller 

Release Date February 18th, 1994

Published February 21st, 1994

In the 80s you were called a sellout when you appeared in commercials for brands that people didn't like or respect. In the 90s, this insult evolved into people being called Posers. Essentially, people who tried to be part of a culture that they were not authentically part of were 'Posing,' pretending to be cool and hip and down with the kids. It's strange to think how antiquated this thinking is today. In our modern culture, some of the most popular celebrities are themselves a brand that is associated with other brands for the purpose of selling products to consumers, also known as fans. In the 80s, famed comedian Bill Hicks railed against celebrities in Diet Coke commercials as the ultimate sin that one could commit against authenticity. Today, you'd be hard pressed to find a celebrity who isn't accompanied by some kind of brand deal and we all just accept it as the norm. 

Sorry for the tangent but writing about Reality Bites bums me out so getting distracted is like a gentle and brief oasis. Reality Bites is the ultimate Poser movie. In the 90s, if marketers wanted to reach the youth market that would find an attractive model or celebrity, throw some flannel and chunky boots on them and have them 'Hello Fellow Young People' their way into our living rooms. We'd roll our eyes and call them posers and then probably still buy the products but ironically and without passion. That's Reality Bites in a nutshell, a movie that comes wandering in dressed in flannel and armored in irony and disaffected youth while selling the notion that it is The Big Chill for Generation X. And yes, I rolled my eyes when I thought of that and then bought a ticket for Reality Bites so I could roll my eyes in front of the big screen and pretend not to care about how the movie was selling a conception of my generation to me like any other branded product. 

Reality Bites stars Winona Ryder as Lelaina Pierce, college valedictorian and wannabe documentarian. Lelaina spent her college years getting drunk, getting high and still making it to class on time and getting good grades. Most of Lelaina's time is spent behind a camera where she has been documenting the lives of her closest friends including Vickie (Janeane Garofalo), a manager at The Gap, Sammy (Steve Zahn), a closeted gay man, closeted at least to his family, and Troy (Ethan Hawke), Lelaina's on again, off again, best friend and flirting partner. We get to see plenty of Lelaina's supposed documentary and what we see does not communicate any serious attempt at documentary filmmaking. It's an entirely facile representation of someone's dream of making movies and it gets Reality Bites off to a deeply inauthentic start that doesn't get any better from there. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review 8 Seconds

8 Seconds (1994) 

Directed by John G. Avildsen

Written by Monte Merrick

Starring Luke Perry, Stephen Baldwin, Cynthia Geary, James Rebhorn

Release Date February 25th, 1994 

Published February 27th, 2024 

8 Seconds is a painfully boring film. The mostly true story of famed bull rider, Lane Frost, played by Luke Perry, 8 Seconds is a by the numbers sports movie with all the innovation and excitement of a damp rag. Bull Riding is a sport, of sorts. It takes a great deal of dedication and very strong hands. It also requires the bull to be basically tortured. Controversial opinion, if your sport requires an opponent that doesn't want to be your opponent, to the point where they may kill just to get you to leave them be, it's not really a competition, it's animal cruelty with judges, points, and a time. 

So, yeah, I wasn't really the audience for a schmaltzy, dizzying, dimwitted movie like 8 Seconds. Lane Frost died tragically young and, as demonstrated in 8 Seconds, his accomplishments were relatively limited. He was a multiple time champion of his sport and was kind to children. Lovely qualities that are at odd with the moody, broody, young man who could turn on a dime and be cruel to his loyal and loving wife, Kellie (Cynthia Geary), who takes the brunt of Lane's unpredictable mood swings, often related to his anger toward his father, Clyde, a man who cannot tell his son that he loves him. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Intersection

Intersection (1994) 

Directed by Mark Rydell 

Written by David Rayfiel, Marshall Brickman 

Starring Richard Gere, Sharon Stone, Lolita Davidovich, Martin Landau 

Release Date January 21st, 1994 

Published January 21st, 1994 

Intersection stars Richard Gere as architect Vincent Eastman. Having recently left his wife for another woman, we meet Vincent just waking up from a night of passion with Olivia (Lolita Davidovich). The two talk about building a new home and Vincent cautions Olivia not to push things too quickly as he still has a daughter with his ex-wife, Sally (Sharon Stone), who is also his business partner. To say that Vincent's life is complicated is an understatement. At work, he and Sally have a chilly relationship where she tries to stay focused on tasks and schedules and he tries and fails to be remote. 

And that's where the story begins. From there, Vincent will wrestle with the idea of fully committing to Olivia, building their dream home on cliff side property he purchased for them, and building a family. But, there is also the pull of a full life he once had with Sally, a history that is still remarkably present due to their business entanglements. And then there is Vincent's daughter, Meagan (future House star Jennifer Morrison), a 14 year old who is struggling with her parents being apart. It's implied that she may have an eating disorder but like the two lead actresses in Intersection, we won't learn much about her that isn't about her feelings for Vincent. 

Do you know what I find impossible to care about or invest in? Whether a rich, handsome, wishy-wash ass man like Vincent ends up with either Sharon Stone or Lolita Davidovich. Truly, do you root for him to win the lottery or win the lottery. He may be conflicted here but that conflict fails to translate beyond the character. None of the three main characters are very interesting. Vincent is a cypher, he's an empty suit. He's a blank behind the eyes guy whose allegiance to one woman or another is based on a whim or which way the wind is blowing. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review House Party 3

House Party 3 (1994) 

Directed by Eric Meza

Written by David Toney, Takashi Bufford 

Starring Christopher 'Kid' Reid, Christopher 'Play' Martin, Bernie Mac 

Release Date January 12th, 1994 

Published January 17th, 2024

A third film in the charming and funny House Party franchise should have been an open goal kick. It should have been a sure bet to a sweet, funny, silly, celebration of fun and hip hop. And yet, somehow, they managed to muck it up. Whether stars Kid N' Play felt they need to prove how 'hard' they are after being labeled as soft based on the first two movies or the rappers got bad advice from the creative team of Eric Meza, David Toney, and Takashi Bufford, who went on to not work in feature films again, House Party 3 turned a charming franchise into a curdled exercise in toxic masculinity and male insecurity. 

House Party 3 centers on a bachelor party for the soon to married Kid (Christopher Reid). Having moved on from his college girlfriend, played in each of the first two films by Tisha Campbell, Kid is set to marry Veda (Angela Means). This is despite the protests of Kid's pal, Play (Christopher Martin), who can't stop talking about how Kid is giving up his freedom and will miss out on sleeping with an unending number of women he's been taking advantage of via their mostly failing music management company. 

That's truly the one joke that repeats throughout House Party 3, getting married is a mistake because there are so many other women to sleep with. It's the same pathetic joke over and over again ad nauseum. I've never understood these jokes about what a burden being married is. Do married men understand that getting married is a choice? You can choose to not get married. I've done it for 47 years. I've managed to go all of my life without being married. It's really not that hard. And yet, there are numerous movies, television shows and viral videos about men complaining about what being married prevents them from doing. 

But this lame joke isn't the only lame joke in House Party 3, it's merely the most prominent. The other jokes center on the memory loss that can come with old age as it appears Kid's grandmother is developing alzheimers and this is somehow a very funny joke to the filmmakers. She can't remember her grandson's fiancee, ho ho! She can't remember where the stairs are in her home, ha ha! She can't remember where she is when she's not home. Will the hilarity ever begin? It's not merely that the joke is insensitive, it's that this joke is never done in a way that's actually funny. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Classic Movie Review Cabin Boy

Cabin Boy (1994) 

Directed by Adam Resnick

Written by Adam Resnick, Chris Elliott

Starring Chris Elliott, Melora Waters, David Letterman, Andy Richter 

Release Date January 7th, 1994 

Published January 16th, 2024 

Cabin Boy is a miserable attempt at comedy. That's surprising because, in general, comic Chris Elliott's absurd style of comedy is usually pretty great. I can remember being a kid and loving the weird gags Elliott did for David Letterman on Late Night. I remember some of his short-lived TV series Get a Life which also featured surreal running gags about Elliott being an overgrown child, one of the original Peter Pan Complex types. Elliott did a tremendous job of making man-children the subject of mockery. He targeted over-privileged mama's boys and clueless, entitled men who couldn't understand why the world didn't constantly bend to their will. 

It's a good brand of comedy and you can sense him bringing some of that sensibility to 1994's Cabin Boy. Elliott's main character, Nathaniel Mayweather, proudly calls himself a Fancy Boy, even as others intend it as an insult to his ill-mannered over-privileged man child. As we join the story of Cabin Boy, Nathaniel is finishing four years of insulting everyone less rich than him. Witless, irritating and openly cruel, Nathaniel is exactly the kind of character who needs a comeuppance and a valuable lesson about not being cruel to people of lesser status. You might assume that that will be the story of Cabin Boy and it kind of is. But, the reality of Cabin Boy is far more disjointed and odd. 

After getting kicked out of a limousine that is ferrying Fancy Boy Nathaniel to a luxury cruise how to his mansion in Hawaii, Nathaniel takes a wrong turn and ends up at the wrong port. Here, Nathaniel will end up boarding a stinking fishing boat called The Filthy Whore. Mistaking it for a themed cruise ship, Nathaniel becomes a stowaway on the fishing boat that is most certainly not headed to Hawaii. The salty smelly crew is a collection of character actors that includes James Gammon, Brion James, and frequent Chris Elliott collaborator, Brian Doyle Murray. Eventually the crew will add a woman, Trina (Melora Waters), as a very unlikely love interest for Nathaniel. 

I've given a rudimentary shape to Cabin Boy but the reality is much less linear. In reality, Cabin Boy is a series of random, mostly unfunny gags that don't add up to much of a story. Among the failing oddities is a character played by Russ Tamblyn. The former star of West Side Story plays a half-man-half-shark, who falls in love with Nathaniel and thus ends up saving his life on more than one occasion. Tamblyn has a nice smile but nothing that the movie has him do is funny. He looks weird as a human-shark hybrid but if you aren't laughing at that description, you probably won't laugh at the character in the context of Cabin Boy. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Classic Movie Review Quiz Show

Quiz Show (1994)

Directed by Robert Redford 

Written by Paul Attanasio 

Starring Ralph Fiennes, John Turturro, Rob Morrow, Paul Scofield, Christopher McDonald, David Paymer, Hank Azaria, Martin Scorsese 

Release Date September 14th, 1994 

Published November 7th, 2023 

The erosion of public trust was not simply something that happened as a result of Watergate. The erosion of public trust can be traced to several different historic flashpoints that include such events as the assassination of President Kennedy, the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr, the McCarthy hearings, and, less historically well known but of a similar importance in tracking the erosion of trust between the public and the media, the public and government, and the public and the intelligentsia, is the Quiz Show scandal of the 1950s. 

Director Robert Redford lays out a strong case that the growth of cynicism toward public institutions began not just with the rebellion of the 1960s. It began with a simple Quiz Show called 21. The game was rigged. Though the venerable NBC network and uber-rich sponsor company Geritol, presented the show as a legitimate competition between everyday folks who happened to be remarkably well versed at memorizing facts, the shows were, in fact, scripted so that certain people would win. When ratings started to fall, that person would lose and be replaced by someone who might raise the ratings once more. 

It's a deeply cynical approach but, one that enthralled an America that was very early into the honeymoon phase when it came to television. It was an innocent time when people wanted to believe they could trust the people whose faces were beamed into their home everyday. People like Jack Berry (Christopher McDonald), the well dressed and affable host of 21 carried a public trust, not unlike a newsman. His integrity and that of the show mattered to the public. The show even played that integrity as a marketing gimmick. 

In the opening moments of Quiz Show we open on a bank where a safe deposit box is being opened. Armed guards remove a package. One guard passes the package to another who climbs inside of an armored car. That armored car then receives a police escort to 30 Rockefeller Center, the television home of NBC and the Quiz Show 21. Inside the package being carried, again, by armed guards, are the vaunted questions, a guarded secret even from host Jack Berry. 21 traded on the supposed integrity of the game. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review The Lion King

The Lion King (1994)

Directed by Roger Allers, Rob Minkoff

Written by Irene Mecchi, Jonathan Roberts, Linda Woolverton 

Starring Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Matthew Broderick, James Earl Jones, Jeremy Irons 

Release Date June 15th 1994

Published August 11th, 2003 

It is a quirk of timing that the same week our poll question asked whether traditional animation was dead, the animated classic The Lion King would open in the IMAX theater in my hometown of Davenport Iowa.

I am of the belief that traditional hand drawn animation is finished as far as its box office appeal. As an artform, however, it is as strong as ever. While my evidence for that is nearly 10 years old, it's not as if it's gotten worse since The Lion King debuted in the summer of 1994. Traditional animation was merely surpassed in both quality and entertainment value by computer animation that allows for more visual flourish, picture clarity and surprise.

It is an interesting question to ask, just how appealing would The Lion King be if it had competed against the likes of Shrek, Toy Story or Finding Nemo? Would it have become the highest grossing animated feature of all time? (A title that now belongs to Finding Nemo) Would opening after the computer animated films I named previously diminish Lion King's legacy as an animated classic?

That question can never be answered, and regardless of whether The Lion King is the all time animated box office champion, it's legacy is in place. The reformatting of the film for the IMAX screen is a reassurance of Lion King's classic status.

In the wilds of Africa, the king of the jungle is a Lion named Mufasa (the resonant voice of James Earl Jones) who has had a son. The heir to Mufasa's throne is Simba (voiced by Jonathan Taylor Thomas), a playful adventurous kid eager to learn the family business. Standing in his way is his evil uncle Scar (Jeremy Irons) and his army of hyenas. The only way Scar can become the king is if both Mufasa and Simba are dead, so using his hyena army he orchestrates a stampede that forces Mufasa to trade his own life for Simba's. Scar then convinces Simba that it was his fault that his father died, leading Simba to flee the kingdom and allow Scar to become king.

Simba wanders off into the wild where he meets a strange tiny little animal, a meerkat named Timon and his buddy, a warthog named Pumba. Together Timon and Pumba help Simba grow into a man and soon Simba, with some inspiration by a lioness named Nala (Moira Kelly), is ready to reclaim his father’s throne.

The film’s story is about death, family, and facing your fears. It's about growing up and realizing who you are. All wonderful elements that are never overplayed. One of the marks of a good animated film or any film aimed at a younger audience is its ability to deliver a message without sacrificing entertainment value.

The animation in The Lion King was the height of Disney's animation renaissance of the late 80's- early 90's. Blown up to the IMAX six-story screen, it becomes even more impressive. The visuals in The Lion King are as impressive as anything made specifically for the IMAX. Though there is an odd shadow that pops up occasionally, it doesn't detract from the beauty of this animated classic.

When you combine the film’s visuals blown up to six stories with it's memorable soundtrack blasted through the mind-blowing IMAX sound system and you get a true masterpiece. Indeed traditional theater sound is very impressive, but it can't compare with the IMAX sound. The Lion King’s African drum score and it's numerous catchy pop tunes are absolutely mind-blowing in IMAX.

Whether traditional animation has a future is debatable but whether The Lion King on IMAX is a masterpiece is unquestionable.