Movie Review I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007) 

Directed by Dennis Dugan 

Written by Barry Fanaro, Alexander Payne, Jim Taylor 

Starring Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Jessica Biel, Ving Rhames, Steve Buscemi, Dan Akroyd

Release Date July 20th, 2007

Published July 20th, 2007

For every little bit of progress Adam Sandler makes as an actor; he seems to take one step back. His performance earlier this year in the 9/11 drama Reign Over Me was a tremendous step forward for Sandler as an actor, if a bit of a step down from his usual box office stature. Like his very impressive turn in P.T Anderson's Punch Drunk Love which Sandler followed with the juvenile animated effort 8 Crazy Nights and the dull, unfunny rage of Anger Management, Sandler chooses to follow Reign Over Me with the childish attempt at P.C laughs in stereotypical clothes, I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

Larry Valentine has a big problem. As a firefighter who rushes into the blaze to save lives, his life is often on the line. His work is very dangerous and with two kids at home to take care of, Larry wants to make sure they get his pension should something happen to him. Unfortunately, a paperwork snafu, in the wake of his wife's untimely death, has left Larry in a real bind. Should he be killed in action, his kids won't get his pension unless he gets married.

Unfortunately for Larry, there is only one person he would trust enough to make sure his kids were taken care of. his lifelong pal, Chuck Levine. This is where Larry crafts a real hairbrained scheme. Seeing a story in the paper about how the city of New York has legalized domestic partnerships for gay couples, Larry gets the idea to marry his pal Chuck.

Chuck is not exactly the ideal choice for this scam. He has a rather legendary reputation as a ladies man. In fact, when we first meet Chuck a pair of sexy twin sisters are fighting over him after he slept with both of them. Later, when Larry goes to tell Chuck his plan, he interrupts him while he is romancing several women at the same time.

Nevertheless, Chuck owes Larry his life after a fire call went bad, so he agrees and the two head for Canada to make it legal. Things get complicated when the city challenges the authenticity of their relationship and Larry hires a sexy lawyer named Alex (Jessica Biel) who immediately strikes a chord with Chuck and puts the whole scheme on thin ice.

This being a typical, brainless Adam Sandler effort you expect and get just about every stereotype known to man thrown in as comic asides. However, surprisingly enough, the biggest problem with I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry is not insensitivity, the film actually offers a pro gay agenda. Rather, the problem is much simpler than that. It's just not a very well made movie.

Directed by Adam Sandler's pet director Dennis Dugan (Big Daddy, Happy Gilmore), I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry never establishes a solid tone or any kind of charm. The film is crude and resorts more often to dull slapstick than to anything organically plot driven. The plot should be the focus, it's a big broad topic with many opportunities for satire. That, sadly, is well beyond the intellectual scope of Dugan and Sandler.

While there will be many who will be offended by the many stereotypes at use in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, you will be surprised how fairminded and pro gay the film really is. Though the support is shallow because of the gutless direction of Dennis Dugan and the strip mined script by Sandler and Barry Fanaro, the film's heart is in the right place.

What really stinks is that you can see the potential for something a little more thoughtful, deeper and more satisfying. Jim Taylor and Alexander Payne, the team behind Election, About Schmidt and Sideways, delivered a version of this script that, those who have read it, say is sharper and more pointed in its humor and perspective. That version was flamed in favor of a more Sandler friendly version with all of the slapstick and self serving ego indulgences that are Sandler's hallmarks.

My biggest fear was that I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry would be a series of stereotypical jokes with a liberal use of the word f****t. Watching it, that is what we get. However, a heavy dose of positivity manages to balance things out in a very surprising way. That positive feeling however, is not enough to make the film funnier than it is or more believable than it is.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry suffers the ego of its star Adam Sandler who compromises much of what might have worked in the film in favor of fellating his own ego. What a shame, there was a good deal of potential here.

Movie Review Next

Next (2007) 

Directed by Lee Tamahori

Written by Gary Goldman, Jonathan Hensleigh

Starring Nicolas Cage, Jessica Biel, Julianne Moore, Peter Falk 

Release Date April 27th, 2007

Published April 26th, 2007 

Has any writer's work been more abused by Hollywood than Philip K. Dick's work? Sure Shakespeare has been tortured and Stephen King has condemned some of the adaptations of his work but Dick, it seems, has been truly beat up in the adaptation process. For every Minority Report there is a Paycheck. For every Blade Runner, which was tortured in many ways before emerging a cult classic, there is an Imposter.

Now comes Next; an adaptation of Dick's short story The Golden Man. Starring Nicolas Cage as a Vegas lounge magician, Next abuses Dick's sci fi conceits for yet another dull witted, wide appeal, sci fi knock-off.

Frank Cadillac (Nicolas Cage) is a C-list Vegas lounge act. Using his real life ability to see two minutes into the future, Frank, real name Chris Johnson, dazzles out of town rubes by predicting the unpredictable. Chris is attempting to hide the fact that he is clairvoyant by pretending to be clairvoyant, he's worried if someone finds out they may force him to use his gift for ill-gotten gain.

The FBI, led by Agent Callie Ferris (Julianne Moore), seems to have discovered Chris's secret. They want to capture him and use his gift to prevent a group of terrorists from exploding a nuclear weapon on the West Coast. How seeing two minutes into the future could be helpful is a question the film has an answer to but by the time it gets to it you will be rolling your eyes too much to catch it.

While Chris is using his gift to elude the FBI as well as the terrorist baddies, he finds his gift extending beyond just two minutes when he is with Liz (Jessica Biel), a beautiful stranger who Chris is convinced is his soul-mate. The two begin a tentative romance and together decide whether to help the cops or keep running away.

Next was directed by Lee Tamahori who may be best known for his non-directorial exploits. For those not in the know, the director of Die Another Day and XXX 2 was arrested in 2006 for solicitation. No he wasn't seeking a sex worker, he was the sex work, Tamahori was arrested in full drag. This has nothing to do with Next, it just makes me giggle as much as anything in the goofball action of Next.

The most notable thing about Next is Nicolas Cage's latest follicle debacle. The obviously balding Mr. Cage goes for long hair in Next and well, Nic.. long hair in back, balding in front, not a good look. Beyond the hair, Cage delivers a zombie-like, sleep walking performance ala his work in Family Man or National Treasure. Next isn't quite as bad as Cage's work in The Wicker Man but at least in that bad movie, Cage was awake and engaged.

Poor Julianne Moore. I hope she was paid well for her soul. The former Oscar nominee has made worse films than this, she is in Freedomland for god's sake, and yet she still seems to have too much dignity and class for such trash as Next.

Jessica Biel, on the other hand, is becoming right at home in this type of throwaway, popcorn trash. If you don't believe me, go rent Stealth. Yes, she was very good in last year's surprise hit The Illusionist but the rest of her resume is an ugly mixture of eye candy roles in straight to video features all of which seem to be a silent rebuke of her goody two shoes breakthrough on TV's Seventh Heaven.

One is left to wonder what happened to the family of Philip K. Dick. Do they have no control over what happens to Mr. Dick's work in Hollywood? Are they so greedy that they just don't care? Whatever the reason, it's sad how little care anyone has taken with his work. Philip K. Dick is the sci fi voice of a generation. A man who; seemingly saw the future himself and dramatized it. To watch his legacy trashed by one hack filmmaker after another is a real shame and Next is just the latest and likely not the last example.

Movie Review Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Remake)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Directed by Marcus Nispel 

Written by Scott Kosar 

Starring Jennifer Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Mike Vogel, Eric Balfour, R. Lee Ermey

Release Date October 17th, 2003 

Published October 15th, 2003 

When I heard they were remaking Texas Chainsaw Massacre, my first thought was, why? It's already been remade a number of times under a number of different titles. Take House of 1000 Corpses, clearly a complete rip-off of Chainsaw, save for the actual use of a chainsaw. How about the backwoods hicks of Wrong Turn, clearly modeled after Leatherface and his lunatic family? Its low budget look and guerilla shooting style have influenced nearly every horror film released in its wake.

Of course, the number of bad sequels that have provided variations on the original characters are in themselves merely re-imaginings of the first film. A remake would have to first justify itself with a reason to do it. The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre fails that test, never once providing a reason why it needs to exist.

It's the same setup as the 1974 original, a group of comely teenagers trekking their way through backwoods Texas on their way to who knows where, there is a vague allusion to a concert in this new version. Jessica Biel of TV's 7th Heaven plays the re-imagined role originally played by Marylin Burns, renamed Erin for the remake. Her friends are Kemper (Eric Balfour), Pepper (Erica Leerhsen), Andy (Mike Vogel) and Morgan (Jonathan Tucker). 

The kids nearly rundown a teenage girl along the desolate highway, wandering too nowhere. They pick her up and she begins babbling about someone being dead and grave warnings about the direction they are driving. Before she can explain anything more, she meets an ugly end at her own hands, it's actually the film's most effectively gory visual. It's all downhill from there, however.

With the dead girl in the backseat, the traumatized teens stop off in Travis County to find help. What they find however is a sadistic, twisted sheriff (R. Lee Ermey) and his equally sadistic and twisted family, including the murderous chainsaw wielding Leatherface (Eric Bryarniarski) who eats teenagers for breakfast... and lunch and dinner as well.

It's been a while since I've seen Tobe Hooper's original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but I can recall it being far more effective than Director Marcus Nispel's slight, slick re-imagining. There was a visceral quality to the original that is greatly lacking in this remake. It's a quality that Nispel tries to make up for by beating the audience senseless with a chase sequence that lasts what seems like hours. The stylized music video slickness is completely at odds with the original film.

The higher production values of the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I gather, are supposedly the justification for the remake. As if trying to answer the unasked question of "What might Tobe Hooper have done with a bigger budget for the original?” Who cares what he might have done, what he did with his miniscule budget is part of the film’s appeal? The low production value and Daniel Pearl's minimalist cinematography are part of horror legend. Pearl returns for the remake and does seem to revel in his newfound technical freedom. However, improving on the look of the original isn't anything anyone asked to see.

The young actors give a good account of themselves in their underwritten victim roles, especially Biel who may have found her niche as a scream queen on par with Jaime Lee Curtis. However, she needs to find herself an original franchise to make her mark in the genre. Somewhere there is a new horror franchise ready to change the genre and directors like Marcus Nispel could better spend their time discovering that new franchise rather than applying modern polish to horror classics like Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Movie Review Rules of Attraction

Rules of Attraction (2002) 

Directed by Roger Avary 

Written by Roger Avary

Starring James Van Der Beek, Shannyn Sossamon, Kip Pardue, Jessica Biel, Kate Bosworth, Ian Somerhalder, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Faye Dunaway

Release Date October 11th, 2002 

Published October 11th, 2002 

From the twisted mind of Bret Easton Ellis comes The Rules of Attraction, a dyspeptic look at college life that is as bleak as Van Wilder was ridiculous. Ellis was the mind behind American Psycho, which became a movie starring Christian Bale. Not surprisingly the movie was a pale imitation of the book, but then to truly adapt American Psycho for the screen would be to garner the hardest NC-17 rating ever. The same could be said of The Rules of Attraction, a pale imitation of the book that also is unlikely to ever reach a true screen adaptation.

The film stars James Van Der Beek as Sean Bateman. If the name sounds familiar it should be Sean is the brother of Psycho’s Patrick Bateman. Sean Bateman isn’t the nutball his brother is but he has his moments, he’s a drug dealer who sells cocaine to classmates for twice what it’s worth. Bateman has a growing obsession with a classmate named Lauren (Shannyn Sossamon). Lauren on the other hand is obsessed with Victor (Kip Pardue, a long way away from Remember The Titans) who has no idea who she is. Victor has spent the past semester in Europe, and upon his return is screwing Lauren’s slutty roommate Lara (Jessica Biel). Rounding out the cast is a predatory gay man named Paul (Ian Somerhalder). Paul has a thing for straight guys and turns his sights on Bateman.

Each character is introduced in flashback, at a party. We begin with Lauren losing her virginity to some loser while the guy she had intended on being with filmed it. Rewind to months earlier and Lauren is doing all she can to keep from having sex including staring at pictures of people with venereal diseases. Sean meanwhile is in trouble with his drug supplier Rupert (Clifton Collins Jr.) for some money he owes.

The plot description is a waste of time, as there didn’t seem to be a plot. What we really have is a collection of scenes intended to shock the audience with audacious visuals and over the top characters. However, the scenes aren’t shocking, they are well visualized but without any context or point of view.

Despite what you may have heard about James Van Der Beek shedding his Dawson persona, the film clearly trades on Van Der Beek’s image. This is especially obvious in a scene between Van Der Beek and Fred Savage that is supposed to be funny because it’s Dawson and the kid from Wonder Years working out details of a drug deal. There are also scenes in which Bateman is seen masturbating which seem to wink at the audience and to say you would never see Dawson do that. In all honesty I don’t mean to rip Van Der Beek, his performance is strong, however it is undercut by Director Roger Avary’s desperate attempts at irony.

The film does have its strengths including a very cool montage of Victor’s trip to Europe. With cool European techno backing him up, Kip Pardue’s narration consists of his character screwing his way across Europe, slurping whatever drugs he can find and judging his destinations by the quality of women he could sleep with. The scenes shot on DV are edited to the killer techno beat, which gives the narration a beat poetry vibe. Very cool.

Though at times the film's visuals are self consciously arty, such as close up of a water faucet that is dripping water into a bathtub full of blood, they are, for the most part, visually exciting and by far the film’s greatest strength. If only the story and the characters were as exciting and interesting as the visuals, Rules Of Attraction could have been great. As it is the film is a mean spirited picture about unlikable characters that looks good on the outside but is entirely hollow.

Movie Review The Illusionist

The Illusionist (2006) 

Directed by Neil Burger 

Written by Neil Burger 

Starring Edward Norton, Paul Giamatti, Jessica Biel, Rufus Sewell, Eddie Marsan

Release Date August 18th, 2006 

Published August 17th, 2006 

Bob Yari is the controversial producer of the Oscar winning Crash. I say Yari is controversial because a fallout with his partners on that film prevented Yari from taking the stage to accept the best picture Oscar. The fallout, naturally, was over the cuts of money each of the profit participants were to receive. His partners claim he was cutting himself a bigger portion than the rest. The details of this controversy are left up in the air at this point.

We do know Yari made a tidy sum from Crash, enough to start his own production and distribution company. The production company is typical Hollywood, everyone and their brother has a production company. It's the distribution that is eye-catching. Only major studios usually have the means to get a picture on enough screens for profitability. Bob Yari is himself a major. Yari has somehow managed to finance and distribute the new romantic period piece, The Illusionist; a mature, well acted movie that is making waves in a stronger than expected platform release. If the film can maintain a strong box office, Yari may even try his hand at launching an Oscar campaign.

In turn of the century Austria a magician named Eisenheim (Edward Norton) is astonishing sold out crowds. So amazing are his various tricks and illusions that even royalty must come to see his show. When Crown Prince Leopold (Rufus Sewelll) and his future Queen, Sophie (Jessica Biel), attend a show, Eisenheim chooses Sophie to assist him with a trick. Seeing her face, Eisenheim realizes that Sophie is his long lost childhood sweetheart.

When Sophie finally recognizes Eisenheim they begin a dangerous rekindling of their relationship. Sneaking off to Eisenheim's cottage for forbidden trysts the couple eventually is discovered by Leopold who assigns his chief of police, Uhl (Paul Giamatti), to follow Sophie and if she goes to Eisenheim, the magician is to be killed.

The story of The Illusionist, adapted by writer-director Neil Burger, from a short story by Steven Millhauser, works at a snail's pace and yet manages to enchant thanks to the brilliant topline performance by Edward Norton. Ever the method actor; Norton learned magic from the famed English magician James Freedman as a way to avoid CGI as much as possible. His stage schtick is spot on and his minor conjuring's are as entertaining as any great modern magician.

Of course when conjuring spirits on stage a little CG help is unavoidable. Thankfully, the effects of The Illusionist are minimal and the magic looks as if it were the conjuring's of a true stage magician. The CGI is good and most importantly, it's effective enough to not distract from the main point of the film which are the exchanges of dialogue between the dueling geniuses Norton and Paul Giamatti. The Illusionist is an actors showcase and Norton and Giamatti take full advantage of the freedom offered by director Neil Burger.

Neil Berger, in his second feature film, shows a great deal of skill, and a deft touch in handling his actors. As I mentioned earlier, the film unfolds very slowly and requires the cast to do a great deal of talking. For this task Berger smartly assembled a terrific cast who could handle these talky characters. What Burger does best is direct without ever letting you know it. It's a skill far too many directors fail to master.

What a treat it is to watch great actors working with great material. That is what you get with The Illusionist, a movie that respects its audience, dazzles the eyes and the mind, and allows us the opportunity to watch great actors at work. Edward Norton and Paul Giamatti are a magnificent tandem. The verbal tete a tete, the actorly flourishes, are a joy to watch and clearly, from the exuberance of the actors, a joy to perform.

The romance of The Illusionist between Norton and Jessica Biel is strong if not fiery passionate. The actors do smolder for one another but they don't quite set the screen on fire. The backstory of forbidden teenage love and two terrific teen actors, Aaron Johnson as young Eisenheim and Eleanor Tomlinson as young Sophie, does much of the work of establishing the drama of this romance.

The Illusionist is the kind of fabulous adult minded dramas that many don't believe Hollywood can make anymore. Smart, literate, sexy, romantic, and populated with fantastic actors in meaty roles, The Illusionist is that rare breed of high minded drama that combines high intelligence with mainstream popular storytelling and a stellar cast.

The Illusionist is a must see picture.