Movie Review Falling for Christmas

Falling for Christmas (2022) 

Directed by Janeen Damian 

Written by Jeff Bonnett, Ron Oliver 

Starring Lindsay Lohan, Chord Overstreet 

Release Date November 10th, 2022 

Netflix 

We all love a good comeback story. As much as our culture tears people down and enjoys a downfall from a massive height, we do love seeing someone bounce back. Lindsay Lohan certainly qualifies as someone who fell from great heights. After having become a major celebrity and a leading lady, she began a descent that was scrutinized and poked fun at for years on end. Battles in the tabloids with her family, public accounts of bad behavior and a series of truly awful movies, had left Lohan at the lowest of depths in popular culture. 

Then, Lindsay went away. Pulling herself out of limelight and getting healthy was the best news. After having a brush with becoming another Hollywood tragedy, Lindsay has seemingly been welcomed back to the Hollywood fold. The announcement of a two picture deal with Netflix was met with excitement and old friends and co-stars like Jamie Lee Curtis cheered her on. That comeback has begun and, before we talk about the movie, we should note that viewing numbers for Falling for Christmas are reportedly quite good. 

That bit of kindness out of the way, Falling for Christmas is a bad movie. It's not egregious or even unwatchable, but it's not good either. This incredibly basic holiday movie blends together elements of the Goldie Hawn comedy Overboard, a bit of It's a Wonderful Life, and the production design of every Lifetime Christmas movie to produce a most mediocre of modern Christmas movies. It's not Lindsay's fault, she has some spark here, but the whole of Falling For Christmas fails the returning star. 

Falling for Christmas stars Lohan as Sierra Belmont, a wannabe influencer and daughter of a very rich ski lodge owner, played by veteran Soap Opera star Jack Wagner. Sierra has come to her dad's lodge to try and get out of taking an actual job. She wants to be an influencer like her flamboyant, yes that is a code word, boyfriend Tad Fairchild (George Young) whose life is dedicated to selfies, trending, and brand deals. 

Here we have the first major misstep of Falling for Christmas. The movie has a very 50 year old man view of what an influencer is. The description is very much coming from a person who is upset that influencer is a job that people claim to have. The writing team does nothing to hide how they've only ever heard Boomer buzzwords about what an 'influencer' is and they are mad about it. Thus, the idea of Influencers is treated with boomer contempt for those damned kids. 

Read my complete review of Falling for Christmas at Geeks.Media. 

Movie Review Slay Belles

Slay Belles (2018) 

Directed by Dan Walker

Written by Dan Walker 

Starring Hannah Wagner, Richard Moll, Barry Bostwick

Release Date December 15th, 2018

Published December 21st, 2018

Slay Belles is the latest in a surprisingly long line of Christmas themed horror movies. For me, this type of faux rebelliousness, ‘aren’t we cute making the most innocent holiday into a horror movie’ nonsense, wore out its welcome with the Silent Night Deadly Night franchise. Somehow though, filmmakers continue to fool themselves into cashing in on the novelty of Christmas related blood and guts. The latest failed effort at this novelty is streaming now and called Slay Belles. 

Slay Belles stars Kristina Klebe as Alexi, the stick in the mud of a trio of friends who refuse to steal when they go shopping. Alexi’s friends are Dahlia (Susan Slaughter) and Sadie (Hannah Wagner), a pair of cosplay loving, minor YouTube celebrities. Dahlia and Sadie host a YouTube series they call Adventure Girls in which they travel to abandoned locations and strut around in odd costumes while preening for the camera. 

This time, Dahlia and Sadie have dragged Alexi along for the show and they have a wacky new location, a former Santa’s Village that has gone out of business. What they don’t know and are about to find out, is that Santa Claus is real, here played by Barry Bostwick of Spin City and Rocky Horror Picture Show and now desperately slumming it. Santa is in the midst of a pitched battle with The Krampus, a monster that is somehow physically connected to Santa and is murdering most of a small town just before Christmas. 

The girls must team up with Kris Kringle and a local forest ranger, Sean (Stephen Ford of MTV’s Teen Wolf), to battle The Krampus and stop him before he begins murdering children around the world. I will give the movie one bit of credit, The Krampus costume that they made or purchased or whatever, looks pretty great. Yes, it probably resembles more of a werewolf but, then again, what the heck is a Krampus anyway. The monster looks appropriately monster-like and that’s all that matters. 

Unfortunately, the rest of Slay Belles is far less inspired. The performances are insipid, the direction is all over the place stylistically, with a camera bouncing around in every scene, and Barry Bostwick appears to be in some sort of stupor. The veteran actor limps through scene after scene with just enough energy to just avoid yawning over his own lines. Bostwick never really clicked in the mainstream on the big screen but even he seems to be above the nonsense of Slay Belles. 

I referred to Slay Belles as a Christmas themed horror movie but the aim appears to be ‘horror comedy’ and not merely blood and guts scares. I add the caveat ‘appears to be’ because despite what seems like a light tone, I didn’t find a single laugh in the entire movie. I did almost give a small laugh at the expense of how tired Barry Bostwick appears to be in Slay Belles but I don’t believe that laugh was what the filmmakers were going for. 

Slay Belles is rated R for Language and brief nudity. The film is streaming now on Amazon and will soon be on the shelves at what remains of video stores across the country. 

Movie Review: The Santa Clause 2

The Santa Clause 2 (2002) 

Directed by Michael Lembeck 

Written by Don Rhymer, Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio, Ed Decker, John J. Strauss 

Starring Tim Allen, Elizabeth Mitchell, Judge Reinhold, Wendy Crewson, David Krumholz 

Release Date November 1st 2002

Published October 31st, 2002 

How can a movie whose premise begins with a guy accidentally killing Santa Claus become a huge family hit? Have it star one of TV's biggest stars and slap that Disney label on it, that's how. Unfortunately for Tim Allen, his non-Santa roles have been like coal in a Christmas stocking. With the exception of his voice work in the Toy Story movies and the modest success of Galaxy Quest, Allan has yet to have a real blockbuster since he donned Santa's trademark clothes. So it only makes sense that Allan would once again put on the beard and the belly, what doesn't make sense is how a sequel could be so much better than it's original.

As we rejoin the man formerly known as Scott Calvin, now St. Nick, he is overseeing the creation of this year's toy supply with the help of his top assistant Bernard (David Krumholz) and Santa's top gadget elf, Curtis (Spencer Breslin). Everything is ship shape until Santa gets the naughty list and finds his son Charlie is on it. Charlie (Eric Lloyd) has been acting out in school, in part to get attention from a girl, but also to rebel against his school's Christmas hating Principal Mrs. Newman (the lovely Elizabeth Mitchell).

To make matters worse the elves have a secret to tell Santa. It seems there is another clause (ho ho) in the Santa contract called the Mrs. Clause. Essentially, Santa has to get married by Christmas Eve or he will no longer be Santa and there will no longer be a Christmas. So Santa must return to his old life as Scott, but before he goes he agrees to be cloned so that the elves won't be worried while he's gone. The clone unfortunately is a nut who threatens to give all the kids in the world coal. 

Scott doesn't know that though because he is back home dealing with Charlie as well as his ex-wife (Wendy Crewson), and her new husband (the ever goofy Judge Reinhold). With the help of his ex-wife he begins going out on a series of bad dates while feuding with Charlie's shrewish principal. If you need to be told what happens between Scott and the principal you might need to buy my new book, Genre Movies for Dummies.

Reminiscent of another recent genre film, the horror movie Ghost Ship, Santa Clause 2 isn't about where the story is going but about how it gets there. Garish sets and charming lead performances by Allen and Mitchell combine with a sweet, if entirely predictable, script for a film that is far better than the sum of it's parts. Considering that it took 5 credited screenwriters, and two more writers with Story credit, it's a miracle that The Santa Clause 2 is even remotely coherent, let alone entertaining. 

The script is surprisingly sharp especially the opening which parodies classic sub-movie clichés with the North Pole running full silent at Elfcon One as they avoid the sonar detection of a weather plane. Also funny is Santa's meeting with fellow legends Mother Nature (Aiesha Tyler), Cupid (Kevin Pollack), The Tooth Fairy (Art La Fleuer) and Father Time (Peter Boyle). These ace supporting players are having an absolute ball in this otherwise superfluous scene and I loved it. 

As I look back on Santa Clause 2, the holes in the plot grow bigger and the problems I ignored at first glance become more pronounced. Still I have to go with my initial gut reaction which was that I laughed a lot watching this film. For all of my irony soaked bravado about my indie movie loving credentials, I am forced to admit that I laughed a lot while watching a formula Disney holiday movie credited to FIVE screenwriters. Credit veteran TV director Michael Lembeck, in his feature debut, with creating a fun and lively atmosphere and allowing Allan's quick wit and charm to work around the script holes. Lembeck performed an absolutely incredible trick getting this shambles of a story into shape, smartly allowing a veteran cast to punch up the loose material with big laughs.

I would describe The Santa Clause 2 as a genre film guilty pleasure. A movie I am nearly ashamed to say I liked, but like it I did.