Classic Movie Review Threesome

Threesome (1994) 

Directed by Andrew Fleming 

Written by Andrew Fleming 

Starring Josh Charles, Lara Flynn Boyle, Stephen Baldwin 

Release Date April 8th, 1994 

Published April 30th, 2024 

I'm pretty sure that Threesome is a horror film. I can't prove that definitively, there is nothing that documents that Threesome is a horror film. But! And this is important, it is a movie where Stephen Baldwin is one of three people involved sex act involving two other partner. If that doesn't send a horrified chill down your spine as much as Freddy Krueger's nails on metal does, then you likely don't know who Stephen Baldwin is. Take my word for it, you should shudder at the thought. I am relatively certain that 90s Stephen Baldwin is my sleep paralysis demon. He just sits on my chest and farts and laughs so hard he nearly falls off. 

Threesome stars Josh Charles as Eddy, a closeted and deeply confused young man. While his male friends are pursuing women, Eddy has no interest. Even moving into a dorm with a party animal and sex pest named Stuart (Stephen Baldwin) can't get Eddy interested in pursuing recreational sex. Eddy's development will be rushed along when Eddy and Stuart pick up a third roommate for the private ensuite in their dorm room. Alex (Lara Flynn Boyle) is a crazed narcissist who was accidentally assigned to a male dorm room because everyone assumed the name Alex indicates dude. 

Alex is standoffish at first but eventually begins throwing herself at Eddy who maintains confusion regarding Alex's motives well past what is believable. No joke, she's moments away from fully putting her hand on his penis and instead of saying he's not into her, he forces her to let him leave and then wonders to Stuart if Alex wants to be with him. Yeah, that's back to back scenes in this idiot sandwich of a movie. Meanwhile, Stuart desperately wants to bang Alex and she shows no interest in him. Eventually, it will come out that Eddy prefers men but that doesn't stop Alex who vows to change his mind by any sexual means necessary. 

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal. 

Classic Movie Review 8 Seconds

8 Seconds (1994) 

Directed by John G. Avildsen

Written by Monte Merrick

Starring Luke Perry, Stephen Baldwin, Cynthia Geary, James Rebhorn

Release Date February 25th, 1994 

Published February 27th, 2024 

8 Seconds is a painfully boring film. The mostly true story of famed bull rider, Lane Frost, played by Luke Perry, 8 Seconds is a by the numbers sports movie with all the innovation and excitement of a damp rag. Bull Riding is a sport, of sorts. It takes a great deal of dedication and very strong hands. It also requires the bull to be basically tortured. Controversial opinion, if your sport requires an opponent that doesn't want to be your opponent, to the point where they may kill just to get you to leave them be, it's not really a competition, it's animal cruelty with judges, points, and a time. 

So, yeah, I wasn't really the audience for a schmaltzy, dizzying, dimwitted movie like 8 Seconds. Lane Frost died tragically young and, as demonstrated in 8 Seconds, his accomplishments were relatively limited. He was a multiple time champion of his sport and was kind to children. Lovely qualities that are at odd with the moody, broody, young man who could turn on a dime and be cruel to his loyal and loving wife, Kellie (Cynthia Geary), who takes the brunt of Lane's unpredictable mood swings, often related to his anger toward his father, Clyde, a man who cannot tell his son that he loves him. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media