Showing posts with label Robert Carlyle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Robert Carlyle. Show all posts

Movie Review: 28 Weeks Later

28 Weeks Later (2007) 

Directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo

Written by Rowan Joffe

Starring Robert Carlyle, Rose Byrne, Jeremy Renner, Imogen Poots, Idris Elba 

Release Date May 11th, 2007

Published May 10th, 2007 

There is something horribly insidious about the creeping terror of modern horror. A creeping lack of hope and humanity. Directors like Eli Roth revel in it. Movies like Roth\'s Hostel and soon Hostel 2, Rob Zombie\'s Devil\ 's Rejects, Greg McLean\'s Wolf Creek or Alexandre Aja\'s High Tension, exist to profit from the exhibition of this newfound lack of hope and humanity.

Some have theorized a political motivation. A reaction maybe to the Bush administration\'s leadership that has bred a hopelessness for the future. He has made us less secure with his policies and this has led to hopelessness expressed as artful horror violence. I think this kind of intellectual leap of faith gives these filmmakers far too much credit.

The real fact is that these filmmakers thrive financially from out grossing, literally and figuratively, their predecessors and the lack of humanity is merely an extension of the directors, producers and studios, avarice.

The latest exhibition of this avarice comes in the sequel to the cult hit 28 Days Later. 28 Weeks Later is an ugly, hopeless exhibition of humanity at it's lowest point. While some critics perform the intellectual gymnastics necessary to find politics in this horror, all I see is the kind of lack of humanity that simply does not belong in mainstream cinema.

Directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, 28 Weeks Later is a grotesque exercise in grisly violence. Robert Carlisle is the ostensible star of this mess as a father who is reunited with his children following what the American military believes is the end of the viral outbreak that devastated much of England. 28 weeks earlier the so called rage virus turned citizens into blood thirty zombies. Now the infected citizens are assumed to have all died and life is being restored to the continent.

Don (Carlisle) was one of the lucky ones. While he hid out in a farmhouse with his wife and a few other survivors, his children were safe on a trip to America. Now that he is reunited with his daughter Tammy (Imogen Poots) and his son Andy (Mackintosh Muggleton), he has some explaining to do as to what happened to their mother.

Turns out, mom didn't die at the hands of the infected. She, in fact, is of a rare breed of human who is resistant to the rage virus. When she is discovered and brought to the Americans for testing, a scientist, Scarlet (Rose Byrne), uncovers the possibility that her children may also be resistent and thus able to provide a cure for the virus.

That sounds like a hopeful plot but as played out by director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, 28 Weeks Later is just a grim exercise in Hollywood cannibalism and the lowest aspects of humanity. Where Danny Boyle\'s original 28 Days Later had a visceral artistic quality, 28 Weeks Later attempts to leech some of the viscerality of the original but fails miserably, falling back on the mere exhibitiion of the ugliest forms of violence.

This ugliness would be excusable if there were a point to it. Give us something to hang on to, a good performance, a charismatic character, or even a shred of artfulness. Unfortunately the whole effort is so slapdash that the only thing the film has to fall back on is the violence. The filmmakers simply throw a bunch of blood and guts at the screen and hope that no one notices how empty the whole thing is. Needless to say, they fail miserably.

The oppressive air of hopelessness hangs over 28 Weeks Later from the beginning and never lifts. The film lurches from piece of disturbing, bloody violence to the next. Some may argue that blood and guts violence is a hallmark of the horror genre and of course they are right. However, great horror movies have ideas behind them. The first Nightmare On Elm Street played on the fears expressed in our sub-conscious.

The Saw films deliver a complex examination of the meaning and importance of life. Jigsaw is unquestionably a villain and a psychopath but there is a deep method behind his madness. Teaching those that do not take care with the gift of life, how tenuous that gift can be is a rather deep message for your average mainstream horror film.

28 Weeks Later has some alleged political pretensions but god help me I couldn't locate them. The kind of intellectual gymnastics necessary to bring politics to bare on 28 Weeks Later are simply beyond my capacity. Instead, all I witnessed in 28 Weeks Later was the continual explication of the most vile and disturbing violence.

What was the purpose of this film? Is it meant to be entertaining? Titillating? Horrifying? If someone is entertained by this that worries me. It takes a pretty twisted mind to find this level of viscera entertaining. The same goes for those who may be titillated by this. Horrifying? Not really. The film is supposed to be tense and breathtaking but as directed the story is so hopeless and the characters so thin, what tension there is can only be wrung from the cheap plot device of children in danger.

And even the cheap trick child in danger plot fails to hold us because you never for a moment feel that director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo would have a hard time killing children in this movie.

I don\'t understand the purpose of a film like 28 Weeks Later. Hopeless, ugly, mean spirited, 28 Weeks Later appeals only to the darkest parts of the human mind. What entertainment is to be gleaned from watching human beings tear one another limb from limb? What are we supposed to take away from the oppressive hopelessness of this plot?

Movies like this and Hostel and Devil\ 's Rejects, et al, revel in the worst of humanity, the ugliness of the world recycled onto the film screen without any purpose. Can someone please explain why?

Movie Review: Eragon

Eragon (2006) 

Directed by Stefan Wangmeir

Written by Peter Buchman 

Starring Jeremy Irons, John Malkovich, Sienna Guillory, Robert Carlyle

Release Date December 15th, 2006

Published December 15th, 2006

What if you took the Lord of the Rings and removed the visual wonder? Then added the Star Wars mythos without any of the genuine spirit. Why if you did that you would get Eragon a dopey sci-fi fantasy that for good measure throws in the wussiest dragons in movie history on top of it's ludicrous LOTR-Star Wars pretensions.

In some ridiculously under-produced middle ages land; dragons are a dying breed. Only the tyrant king (John Malkovich) has one. However, the king also has a dragon egg which has been stolen by the rebel queen Arya (Sienna Guillory). Though she is quickly captured by the king's top henchmam Durza (Robert Carlyle), she manages to stash the dragon's egg with a farm boy who happens to be the egg's natural master.

Eragon is the farm boy's name and it turns out that it was his destiny to be a dragon rider. With the help of a drifter, and former dragon rider, named Brom (Jeremy Irons), Eragon learns what being a dragon rider is all about. With his dragon Saphira (voice of Rachel Weisz), Eragon must learn to become a magician and a warrior and lead a resistance army against the tyrant king.

It's a story so simple it could have been written by a teenager. In fact, it was written by a teenager. 16 year old Christopher Paolini wrote the novel on which Eragon was based and has written a series of books based on this character. Having never read the books I can't tell you how well they compare to the movie. I can say that I am impressed that 16 year old would have such a great imagination, the movie version could have used a little imagination.

Directed by Stefan Fangmeier, in his debut feature, Eragon is a goofball sci fi fantasy that tells a dopey, Lord of the Rings inspired adventure with half the imagination and little of the visual wonder. The film has pretensions of Star Wars as Brom acts as Eragon's version of Obi Wan Kenobi, including a nobel death, while Garrett Hedlund shows up as wimpy Han Solo clone Murtagh.

Robert Carlyle is an extraordinarily effete version of Darth Maul from Episode 1 and Malkovich chews the scenery as both Darth Vader and Chancellor Palpatine.

Of course Eragon is a bad facsimile of both LOTR and Star Wars but; the film it most resembles is the brutal Dungeons and Dragons movie from 2000. That film at the very least featured dragons with some backbone. The dragon in Eragon is a sensitive girl who can't breath fire for most of the film. I love Rachel Weisz but having her voice a dragon just confirms that this is the wussiest dragon since the original Shrek when the red dragon romanced a donkey.

Eragon is an example of why parody us nearly impossible in this day and age. How can parody something as ludicrous as Eragon. On the surface the film seems ripe for caricature. However, the film is such a travesty in and of itself that parody seems redundant. Check the performance of Robert Carlyle who with his pudgy face and long locks and middle ages dress, looks like the ugliest girl at the prom. His goofy accent and lisp don't help matters much either.



John Malkovich eats the scenery as if his performance was an homage to co-star Jeremy Irons while star Edward Speleers turns in a teary, bleary performance that only Hugh Jackman in The Fountain could truly appreciate. Some critics could fairly point out that both Elijah Wood in LOTR and Mark Hammill in the original Star Wars didn't exactly cut manly heroic figures; but Speleers in Eragon makes both of those actors look like John Wayne in comparison.

Eragon remakes Dungeons and Dragons without the geek cache. The dragons are wimpy, the acting brutal and over the top, and the special effects are worse than anything the legendary Z-movie director Uwe Boll has turned out. If only Eragon had had Uwe Boll behind the camera. That, at the very least, would raise the camp level. Kitsch is really the only thing that could rescue even a few moments of pleasure from this abysmal fantasy.

Movie Review Formula 51 aka 51st State

Formula 51 (2002) 

Directed by Ronny Yu 

Written by Stel Pavlou 

Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Carlyle, Emily Mortimer, Rhys Ifans, Meatloaf 

Release Date October 18th, 2002 

Published October 19th, 2002

My local multiplex has been open for about 4 and a half years. In that time I have seen almost every film to come through there. In those 4 and a half years I have never had to ask about their refund policy, because no matter how bad a film I have seen I have never walked out before something was over. Until I saw Formula 51.

This belligerent, aggressively stupid film stars Samuel L. Jackson as Elmo Mcelroy, a legendary drug chemist who’s newest creation is said to be 10 times more powerful than crack. Elmo is expected to give his new product to his boss, known as The Lizard (Meatloaf), but Elmo has other ideas and attempts to kill The Lizard. From there, Elmo takes off for the home of the Beatles, Liverpool, where he plans on cutting a better deal. 

What Elmo doesn’t know is that The Lizard isn’t dead and has a hitwoman searching for him. Emily Mortimer is the expert hitwoman named Dakota. As she plans her hit she finds Elmo in the company of her ex-boyfriend Felix (Robert Carlyle). Dakota’s plans change, and it’s now her job to keep Elmo alive. Also somehow involved in this ridiculousness is a group of Nazi skinheads who want Elmo’s formula.

It was after the skinheads abducted Elmo and Felix that I took my leave of the theater. Not before though the scene where Elmo uses some explosive laxatives to aid in his and Felix’s escape. Director Ronny Yu’s decision to graphically portray the results of the explosive laxative is part of the reason why I walked out, but not the only reason.

Even before the unnecessary laxative closeup, Formula 51 was developing into the kind of film that would think explosive laxatives are funny. This doltish exercise in lethargic action comedy, is supposedly in the mold of Quentin Tarentino mixed with Guy Richie. In actuality it’s a mixture of something Quentin Tarentino pissed on and Guy Richie flushed.

I sat all the way through Rollerball, Fear Dot Com and Sweet Home Alabama. I managed to stay in the theatre all the way through Armageddon and the religious movie Left Behind starring KIRK CAMERON! I have even made it through multiple Freddy Prinze Jr movies all the way to their doltish ends, but I couldn’t make it through Formula 51, possibly the worst film I have ever seen. 

Documentary Review Fallen

Fallen (2017)  Directed by Thomas Marchese  Written by Documentary  Starring Michael Chiklis  Release Date September 1st, 2017 Published Aug...