Showing posts with label Brandon T. Jackson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brandon T. Jackson. Show all posts

Movie Review: Big Momma's House Like Father Like Son

Big Momma's House Like Father Like Son (2011) 

Directed by John Whitesell

Written by Matthew Fogel, Don Rhymer

Starring Martin Lawrence, Brandon T. Jackson, Jessica Lewis 

Release Date February 18th, 2011 

Published February 19th, 2011

Aside from innumerable insults to director John Whitesell, star Martin Lawrence, screenwriters Matthew Fogel and Don Rhymer and a sympathetic shake of the head for young comic Brandon T. Jackson, what is their left to offer to the movie “Big Momma's Like Father, Like Son?” This is a movie of ungodly awfulness and yet pointing that out seems unnecessary because everyone, the creators included, knew that would be the case going in.

The futility of reviewing this travesty of good intentions and PG rated oddity is off the charts. Critics have been rendered irrelevant by movies before (I am looking at you Sandler) but rarely have so many of us been left with so little to say about a movie than what we have left to say about “Big Momma's Like Father, Like Son:” Everyone knew this movie was going to stink out loud.

Now, I can already hear the catcalls about 'critical objectivity' and 'not forming an opinion before you see a movie' so let me put that to bed; in the day and age of mass marketing and the internet, it is nearly impossible, even for the most professional of professional critics, not to make certain judgments about a movie before seeing it. To not be exposed to certain aspects of a film before seeing it the critic would have to live under a rock and even then, as Geico pointed out in rather brilliant recent commercial, some information is simply unavoidable.

Do you really want a plot description? Really? Okay; FBI Agent Malcolm Turner is back in his Big Momma get up after his idiot stepson Trent (Brandon T. Jackson) ambushes him while on a stake out and ends up witnessing a murder. Now, not only will Malcolm be hiding out in drag, so will Trent, in the guise of Charmaine.

Malcolm and Trent, as Big Momma and her grand-niece Charmaine, hide out at an All Girls Arts College in Atlanta. There, the recent murder victim has hidden a key piece of evidence against his murderer. Naturally, the setting will invite all sorts of awkward comic situations and for Trent a love interest, a singer named Haley (Jessica Lucas).

What? No love interest for Malcolm? Nope, he remains married according to the storyline began in the first Big Momma movie but in a move that can only be described as a great act of charity to actress Nia Long, Mrs. Turner is conveniently dispatched to some place where she can't even be reached by phone.

No such luck for comedian Faizon Love who gets the unfortunate task of being Big Momma's love interest, a College security guard that Malcolm/Big Momma must keep interested if he is going to get close to that key piece of evidence he needs. Also sacrificed to this awful story; rising star Portia Doubleday (Youth in Revolt) as the school bitch and Michelle Ang as the school basket case.

If the murder plot weren't convoluted and tired enough “Big Momma's Like Father, Like Son” also pauses repeatedly for some seriously awful musical interludes. Trent is a wannabe rapper, calling himself the Prodigee(?), and he offers up some of the lamest PG raps since Will Smith gave up the moniker Fresh Prince. 

Jessica Lucas has a pleasant but unspectacular voice, think Norah Jones minus a soul, which gets far too much screen-time in “Big Momma's Like Father, Like Son.” Why? Because, director John Whitesell has a bizarre notion that this comic, lowbrow murder mystery should also be a PG rated tract defending the arts. No, I'm not making that up. 

”Big Momma's Like Father, Like Son” morphs Martin Lawrence's Big Momma franchise into a quasi-Disney Channel movie where education and the arts are given equal weight against a goofabout murder mystery plot. Good intentions run alongside a surprisingly puritanical vibe interrupted only by Love's disturbing lust for Big Momma and Trent's occasionally lascivious longings for his fellow students. 

The goody goody-ness of “Big Momma's Like Father, Like Son” serves as some sort of attempt at earnestness as a defense against critics like me. I am apparently supposed to reward the film for having moral fiber rather than simply trashing it for being a wholly awful exercise in filmmaking. Well, tough break kids. 

No, mere good intentions cannot justify such a slothful effort. “Big Momma's Like Father, Like Son” is far too slapdash and insignificant to get a pass because it has high ideals. I appreciate that the filmmakers wanted to make a nice point about education and the arts but they needed to do it while making a good movie and they simply did not.

Movie Review Percy Jackson and the Olympians

Percy Jackson and the Olympians The Lightning Thief (2010) 

Directed by Chris Columbus

Written by Craig Titley 

Starring Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson, Alexandra Daddario, Sean Bean, Pierce Brosnan, Steve Coogan, Rosario Dawson, Catherine Keener, Uma Thurman 

Release Date February 12th, 2010

Published February 11th, 2010 

All Percy Jackson needs is a little forehead scar to complete the shadow of Harry Potter that lurks all throughout this unexceptional effort to craft another teen appeal sequel machine. Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, based on a popular series of novels from an author achingly jealous of the millions raked in by J.K Rowling, even goes so far as to hire former Potter director Chris Columbus just to make sure you don't miss the connection.

Logan Lerman is the titular Percy Jackson, a gap model good looking kid rendered a nerd for the purpose of making him relatable. As we join the story Percy and his pal Grover (Brandon T. Jackson) are sitting by the pool waiting for the plot to kick in. When it finally does, Percy finds out that he is a demi-god, the long abandoned son of the god Poseidon (Kevin McKidd from TV's Grey's Anatomy).

This is revealed to Percy after one of his teacher’s morphs into a bat-winged demon and tries to kill him for stealing Zeus's lightning bolt. Zeus is played by that master of stern blandness Sean Bean (Lord of the Rings). Zeus's bolt is the most powerful force in the universe and somehow he has allowed it to be stolen by a kid who can hardly pass a 10th grade lit class. This does not speak well of the Gods.

The embarrassment and anger is likely to lead to a war of the gods unless Percy, Grover and Percy's assigned love interest, fellow demi-god Annabeth (Alexandra Daddario), can find the bolt and the thief and return them to Mt. Olympus which for tourism purposes is located in the Empire State Building.

At least J.K Rowling had the inventiveness to create her own world from scratch in Harry Potter, Percy Jackson rips the work of hundreds of years for its remarkably dull characters. Drawing on centuries of stories about the gods and their offspring, the story of Percy Jackson as adapted by Craig Titley from Rick Riordan's unexceptional book series, manages to be dull about characters with unlimited powers and astonishing back stories.

Then again, this is only the introduction. Percy Jackson is set to be a film series and thus all that is required here is a primer on Percy and the other lead characters including the aforementioned gods, best friend, love interest and Pierce Brosnan as, arguably, the most dignified half-man half horse in film history.

Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on Percy Jackson, the Olympians and the lightning thief. It is, like so many modern studio features, merely a sequel machine meant to pump out just enough plot for us to come back next time. Why should anyone really ask anymore from a film with such a limited goal?

Sure, J.K Rowling and her film partners have taken her work and enhanced and enriched it on screen with each subsequent film to the point where the film work is as grand as or even grander than it is on the page. But why should every movie have to have such aspiration, especially when modern audiences don't seem to require that much hard work.

Ah, Percy; for a compromised rip-off teen friendly franchise you're not so bad.

Movie Review Megalopolis

 Megalopolis  Directed by Francis Ford Coppola  Written by Francis Ford Coppola  Starring Adam Driver, Nathalie Emmanuel, Giancarlo Esposito...