Movie Review: X-Files I Want to Believe

X-Files I want to Believe (2009) 

Directed by Chris Carter 

Written by Frank Spotnitz 

Starring David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Amanda Peet, Billy Connelly, Xzibit

Release Date July 25th, 2009 

Published July 24th, 2009 

As a casual fan of The X-Files tv series I can't claim any unique insight into the inner workings of Mulder and Scully or understanding of thei ongoing plight. I can tell you that when you see them in the new suspense X-Files: I Want To Believe that long time fans will be geeking out over activities that might seem commonplace to the average moviegoer.

Do not fret non-X-Philes, you won't be completely left out of the fun, as you may have been by the dense, TV plot heavy, Fight The Future. X-Files: I Want To Believe is a stand alone mystery that welcomes lovers of suspense, X-phile or non.

When last we saw Fox Mulder he was drummed out of the FBI and possibly a wanted man. He's gone off the grid and only his partner Dana Scully knows how to find him. Thus why a pair of FBI agents (Amanda Peet and Xzibit) accost Scully as she deals with a very sick boy in her new life as a surgeon. She wonders if they are looking to arrest him, but they have something completely different in mind.

A young, female FBI agent has gone missing and the only clues to her disappearance are being provided by a priest (Billy Connelly) who claims psychic abiliity. After the priest lead them to a severed arm buried in the snow, thankfully not belonging to the missing agent, they begin to take seriously his psychic abilities. Of course when dealing with a psychic you need an agent who understands such things.

Enter Fox Mulder. All will be forgiven, he can rejoin the FBI if he is willing to help locate the missing agent. Among the drawbacks? The priest is a convicted pedophile who, psychic visions aside, remains a suspect in the case. Add to that Scully's unwillingness to return with him, mostly because of the creepy pedophile, and you have quite a dilemma for Mulder.

Well, if you guessed that Mulder followed Scully's lead out the door and back into seclusion you are sorely mistaken. Joining the fray he engages and quickly comes to believe the priest. When another young woman goes missing things grow even more urgent and even more disturbing.

Unlike the dense alien stoked malaise of the first X-Files feature, Fight The Future, X-Files: I Want To Believe was directed by show creator Chris Carter with an eye toward reintroducing the brand and inviting new fans. Thus we get a stand alone mystery that leaves out much of the sticky conspiracy that was the propulsive element of the show.

Having to generate energy for a stand alone mystery is not much of a challenge for Carter, some of the series best episodes were stand alone mysteries about lone psychos, alien abductions and psychic events. The central mystery of  I Want To Believe is fully contained in the films just over 100 minute runtime and aside from some of the more grizzly elements, could have made a solid two episode arc on the old TV show.

Carter's direction is seasoned and professional with just a hint of the artist behind the craftsman. A nod to, of all people, Godard, in one scene will be missed by most but is a striking image. And don't think that Carter has left behind his love of plot thickness. Watch the way he weaves Scully's new medical career into the central plot. On the surface it seems contrived but on further thought it goes deeper than you think.

The allure of The X-Files remains squarely in the chemistry of David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson. Returning to these roles after five years apart, they slip comfortably back into their old married couple dynamic with Mulder as the bumbling husband and Scully the loving but correcting wife. As he blunders forth with the psychic she stands behind him clucking her tongue and finding flaw.

The mystery and the supernatural elements of the X-Filles makes it much more fun and slightly more complex than it sounds. Still, the Mulder-Scully connection should be familiar to anyone familiar with the conventions of your average will they or won't they dynamic from Ross and Rachel on Friends to Harry and Sally from Rob Reiner's classic. The difference being aliens, psychics, and a body count, but even the uninitiated will get the vibe.

That's the twist, iconic romance with with a sci fi bent. You don't need to be in the fan cult to have fun with that. The 'romance' is not central or essential to the plot of I Want To Believe but it's a lot of fun and Duchovny and Anderson have been having fun with it for years, teasing fans with a kiss here, a look there.

The humor of the will they/won't they was a welcome respite from the dense conspiracy of the series and just the kind of kick the show needed to become part of pop culture beyond the alien loving set. Now in I Want To Believe it has become the default setting, a place for the story to go when things are getting a little too grim for the non-fans.

Oh, don't be mistaken, fans will find a lot to love about this as well, for some the 'romance' is why they became fans.

X-Files: I Want To Believe is filled with suspense, viscera and a hint of romantic comedy. It's fun for fans and non-fans alike. The sci-fi suspense should be appealing to any audience and the easy breezy chemistry of Mulder and Scully only makes things more appealing. Yes, the plot has some convenient moments but what works about X-Files: I Want To Believe is far more entertaining than the flaws are irritating or nagging.

Movie Review: Derailed

Derailed (2005) 

Directed by Mikael Hafstrom 

Written by Stuart Beattie 

Starring Clive Owen, Jennifer Aniston, Vincent Cassell, Melissa George, Xzibit 

Release Date November 11th, 2005

Published November 11th, 2005 

When Jennifer Aniston was on "Friends" she was undeniably a star. When she co-starred with Jim Carrey in her first blockbuster movie role in Bruce Almighty, again she looked like a star. Unfortunately, outside her hit TV show and without Jim Carrey to fall back on Jennifer Aniston looks anything but a star in the dreadful thriller Derailed, a misguided attempt to recast Jennifer Aniston as a femme fatale.

Alongside an equally miscast Clive Owen, Aniston struggles with a ridiculous plot, poor direction and a thriller concept that is entirely devoid of thrills.

Though Jennifer Aniston is clearly the draw of Derailed, Clive Owen is the star of the film as Charles, a bored husband and father who jumps at the chance to meet a sexy stranger on a train. That sexy stranger is Lucinda (Aniston), a banker, also married with a child but unhappily married as she is rather quick to confess. The two share a few moments on the train, then lunch the following day, drinks the next night and finally a seedy hotel.

It is in the hotel that a minor fling becomes a huge mess. Just as Charles and Lucinda are getting intimate, the door bursts open and in comes Laroche (Vincent Cassel), a petty thief who they assume just wants a few bucks. If only that was all he wanted.  Unfortunately, before he leaves he beats Charles severely and then rapes Lucinda.

Here is where the films logic becomes derailed, pun intended. So should Charles and Lucinda call the police and report what happened? If they do their spouses will find out what happened and they will lose everything. So it's understandable then that they just let it be. Charles tells his wife Deanna (Melissa George) that he was mugged.  She thankfully does not ask about going to the police, and both Charles and Lucinda go their separate ways.

Not long after, however, Charles gets a call from Laroche asking for twenty grand or else he will tell his wife Deanna that he cheated. Charles again has ample opportunity to come clean to his wife and call the cops but because the plot requires his stupidity, he pays the money. This, despite the fact that he needs the cash to pay for the care of his sick daughter Amy (Addison Timlin), who needs constant care for diabetes.

The money puts off Laroche only temporarily as he once again comes calling, even showing up at Charles' house, asking this time for one hundred grand. Can you guess that Charles still is not smart enough to call the cops? Of course he isn't, but to his luck the screenplay by Stuart Beattie provides a street smart African American ex-con named Winston (rapper RZA pronounced "riza") as a mail room worker at Charles office who offers to help him out for only ten grand.

By this point in the film I would not have cared if Charles enlisted the help of the entire Wu Tang Clan to get the bad guys off his back. Derailed is such a clueless mess of a movie that watching it is more frustrating than a game of Sudoku blindfolded. The lapses of logic are staggeringly stupid and though it's become old hat to call bad thrillers predictable I have to break out that old chestnut as well. Ads for the film ask that we don't give away the big twist and I won't, watch two minutes of the movie and you will guess the twist on your own.

Derailed has one of those idiotic plots that could be cleared up with one smart action by the main character or attention to one minor detail by one of the supporting characters. The players in Derailed must remain willfully ignorant in order for this plot to work and that is endlessly frustrating for the attentive movie goer.

Maybe the most frustrating thing about Derailed is the performance of Clive Owen. Sleepwalking his way through this ridiculous role, Owen's Charlie is passive even when threatened repeatedly and entirely manipulated by the plot at every turn. What may I ask was supposed to make Charlie an interesting thriller hero? He cheats on his wife while she is at home taking care of their sick daughter. He blows the savings meant to save his daughter's life to cover up his affair and when his family is threatened directly by the bad guys he does nothing but accept his third ass whipping in the movie. I hated Charlie as much as I hated the lowlife bad guys who took his money.

I feel very bad for Jennifer Aniston. After losing her husband Brad Pitt to Angelina Jolie and watching those two strike box office gold with Mr. and Mrs. Smith, she finds her first gig since the breakup to be arguably the worst performance of her career. Worse even than that Leprechaun sequel she was in before "Friends". It's not entirely her fault.  I'm sure someone convinced her to forego her good judgement and believe that this insipid plot could actually work if they sexed it up a bit, but even the sex in Derailed is a letdown.

Clive Owen continues a baffling string of monotone dull performances. Someone in Hollywood desperately wants Clive Owen to be a big star but his performances in Beyond Borders, King Arthur and now Derailed show an actor bored with unchallenging material and allowing that boredom to seep into his performance. When challenged in movies like his breakthrough performance in Croupier, in the thriller I'll Sleep When I'm Dead and the scathing relationship drama Closer, Owen shows he has real acting chops. Stop trying to force Clive Owen to be a star, he clearly doesn't want it.

Derailed is an abysmal movie, a worst of the year list kind of movie. A forgettable, stupid unrelentingly bad B-movie dressed up with A-list actors slumming in idiot parts.

Movie Review Hoodwinked

Hoodwinked (2006) 

Directed by Cory Edwards 

Written by Cory Edwards, Todd Edwards, Tony Leech

Starring Glenn Close, Xzibit, David Ogden Stiers, Anne Hathaway, James Belushi 

Release Date January 13th, 2006 

Published January 14th, 2006

The idea is pretty clever. Take a well known fairy tale, in this case Little Red Riding Hood, cross it with references to The Usual Suspects, Rashomon and Law & Order and make it a CGI-animated cartoon. Well not all good concepts make good movies. Hoodwinked, the result of this ingenious premise, is a hackneyed sub-Nickelodeon channel animated film that fails to deliver on its attractive premise.

Four characters, four different versions of the same event. A wolf (voiced by Patrick Warburton), a woodsman (James Belushi), a delivery girl named Red (Anne Hathaway), and Red's grandmother (Glenn Close) all arrive at grandma's house at the same time through a series of misunderstandings, miscommunications, and a major crime in which each is somehow a suspect.

The film unfolds as four separate flashbacks under a police interrogation by detective Nicky Flippers (David Ogden Stiers) and the chief of the forest, police chief Grizzly (Xzibit). The two were investigating the continuing disappearances of recipe books throughout the forest by a criminal called the "Goody Bandit." Each of the four principle characters has made themself a suspect, and their stories somehow have led them all to grandma's house.

I cannot say enough how intriguing the setup of Hoodwinked is. It's so intriguing that it's not surprising that creators Cory and Todd Edwards screw it up. The execution of the film's premise plays out in a fashion that is simpleminded and predictable. Granted this is a kids movie and thus cannot be made too difficult to follow, for fear of losing the core audience, but the simplicity undermines the interesting premise. This could be forgiven if the jokes in the movie were funny enough to justify the predictable setups, but hackneyed gags about grandma playing extreme sports fall desperately flat.

Maybe more egregious than screwing up the rich premise of Hoodwinked are the awful pop songs included to fill out the film's 82-minute runtime. Even with an interesting idea for a plot, Cory and Todd Edwards have little idea what to do with it. So in between the unfunny and predictable flashbacks they sandwich in awful original pop tunes that serve as inner monologues for the characters. The songs are more simpleminded than the rest of the script and are a trial to listen to.

It's tough to screw up a computer animated movie. Because the technology is often so impressive, many audiences will tend to forgive a bad CGI cartoon. However, as the technology has aged that impression seems to be wearing off and like the equally insipid Shark Tale, Hoodwinked cannot skate on its technology, which is even less inspired than that wretched godfather underwater cartoon.

The animation of Hoodwinked is similar to Nickelodeon's Jimmy Neutron, only more lifeless. The characters are bulbous and oddly rendered and look more like a really dull videogame and not a big screen movie. The animation reminded me of a videogame circa 1997, something played on Super Nintendo. This may be a function of the film's budget which was admirably small and independently financed. Nevertheless, the movie is unimpressive to look at.

Hoodwinked is a brutal trial of a kids' movie with all of the worst traits of the genre. Hackneyed simpleminded jokes, unimpressive animation, even the voice acting is underwhelming save for Warburton as the wolf whose sarcasm drips from every word even when he is attempting sincerity. Warburton's occasional presence is not nearly enough to rescue this slapped together mess of cheap animation. It's an inspired idea that goes nowhere and fast.