Movie Review Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem 

Directed by Jeff Rowe

Written by Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Jeff Rowe, Dan Hernandez, Benji Samit 

Starring Micah Abbey, Shamon Brown Jr., Hannibal Burress, Rose Byrne, Nicolas Cantu, John Cena, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Jackie Chan, Ice Cube, Post Malone

Release Date August 2nd, 2023 

Published August 6th, 2023 

I watched the 1990 live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles recently for a review timed to the release of the latest attempt to rebuild the Turtles as a viable movie franchise. What I found was a movie that I absolutely loved. I was too old when Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was released in 1990, I was 14 and I thought it was for much younger kids. Look back now, with the wisdom of more than 30 years, I can say, yes, it is a product for young children, younger than 14 even, but it's a wonderful product. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1990 is a ridiculously fun movie. It's filled with wonderful invention and kid friendly action. 

Everything that came after that movie, not counting the television shows that I've never seen, has been a dreary slog. Each new film iteration of the Turtles has carried with it the very obvious burden of corporate exploitation. Each of the various filmmakers who tackled the franchise appeared to be doing so with a studio held gun to their head that dictated exactly how the movie should be geared toward selling merchandise and creating sequels was the only reason these movies existed. Thus, we got a series of joyless, unpleasant live action and animated attempts to leverage a popular I.P into a cash making machine. 

I say all of this to demonstrate the bias that the latest iteration of the Turtles on the big screen was up against in my mind. To say that I was cynical about seeing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen again would be a grave understatement. What a lovely surprise it is then to report that the newest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles adventure, subtitled Mutant Mayhem, doesn't completely suck. In fact, it's actually pretty alright. The team of Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg and director-co-writer, Jeff Rowe have found a tone and spirit that does well to hide the high level corporately leveraged truth behind its creation. 

Mutant Mayhem is yet another Turtles origin story. We have the back story courtesy of a flashback to the origin of our antagonist, a fellow mutant named Superfly. Superfly was the creation of mad scientist Baxter Stockman. Baxter created the ooze but was killed not long after by an evil organization who wanted to steal his ooze and use it to create their own mutant army. A very young Superfly fought off the baddies, rescued his fellow mutant babies, and fled into the night. He left behind one last tube of ooze which breaks and drips into the sewer. There, it finds the Turtles who are rescued by Splinter (Jackie Chan) who gets into the ooze himself. 

Splinter is rightfully afraid of humans. His first time taking his turtle babies to the surface world nearly ends with them being killed. Thus, Splinter becomes deeply overprotective. He spends the next decade training his Turtles, Leonardo (Nicolas Cantu), Donatello (Micah Abbey), Michaelangelo (Shamon Brown Jr.) and Raphael (Brady Noon), to fight. Using old, abandoned VHS tapes, Splinter trains his Turtles to be able to defend themselves against humans. As the Turtles grow up into their mid-teens however, they've only become more and more curious about humans. They wonder if humans arent't as bad as Splinter claims. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review The Nut Job 2 Nutty By Nature

The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature (2017)

Directed by Cal Brunker

Written by Cal Brunker, Scott Bindley, Bob Barlen

Starring Will Arnett, Maya Rudolf, Jackie Chan, Katherine Heigl 

Release Date August 11th, 2017 

To call out The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature for creative bankruptcy would be as futile as calling out Congress for its corruption. Sure, both of those assessments are of equal accuracy but they are also empty facts of life that aren’t going to change simply because we point them out. So, what then do we make of The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature? Now that we’ve accepted the creative bankruptcy what is left for us to ponder?

The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature, picks up where 2014’s The Nut Job left off with Surly Squirrel (Will Arnett) and his woodland pals living the high life in their adopted home inside a nut shop. The gravy train of free nuts seems endless but Surly’s gal-pal Andie (Katherine Heigl) remains worried. Andie wants everyone to get out of the nut shop and go forage in the park just in case something ever happens to their gravy train. Her concerns are laughed off until something does happen and the nut shop explodes, thankfully with our characters on the outside.

Left homeless and without a food source, Surly leads his crew back into the park only to find that the town’s corrupt Mayor (Bobby Moynihan), who literally has the phrase EmBzzler as his license plate, is demolishing the park in favor of an amusement park filled with garish, overpriced and highly unsafe rides; because apparently demolishing the park isn’t enough, kids need to know that the Mayor is getting kickbacks for his unsafe choices. Hey, what kid doesn’t love plots about corrupt politicians?

Naturally, the animal pals look to Surly for a plan and he’s got a whopper, a literal war with the machines that are tearing up the park. This leads to an action scene in which the animals battle bulldozers and earth-movers and cause as much damage to the park as the bulldozers and earth-movers were doing without the aid of the animals attempting to destroy them. When our furry friends are thwarted in their efforts they must find a new home or find another way to fight back that doesn’t get them all killed.

In case the plot description didn’t grab you don’t worry because The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature has a brand-new character that is guaranteed to go right for your wallet. Jackie Chan provides the voice of Mr. Feng, a cute little mouse who was once a forest dweller but was driven to the city by the same corrupt Mayor now taking away Surly’s home. Mr. Feng’s schtick is that though he and his fellow mice are adorable they cannot stand being called cute and when they are called cute they react with violence.

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Kung Fu Panda 2

Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011) 

Directed by Jennifer Yuh Nelson

Written by Jonathan Aibel, Glenn Berger 

Starring Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu, Seth Rogen, David Cross, Jackie Chan, Dustin Hoffman

Release Date May 26th, 2011

Published May 26th, 2011

I long ago discovered that the best thing about the job of film critic is being surprised. It's also the rarest occurrence in the job. Rarely do movies, especially big time, mainstream blockbusters, surprise people whose job it is to write about movies. "Kung Fu Panda 2" surprised me in a big way. The animation, the story and the laughs were each an astonishing improvement over the original.

Roly Poly Kung Fu Master

Jack Black once again provides the voice of Po the panda aka The Dragon Warrior. Now the leader of the vaunted furious five, including Tigress (Angelina Jolie), Crane (David Cross) Monkey (Jackie Chan), Viper (Lucy Liu) and Mantis (Seth Rogen), Po is still a roly poly panda but now he's great at kung fu.

There is still much for Po to learn however, as Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) explains; Po now must learn inner peace. Lately, Po has been troubled by nightmares that may actually be memories of his past. Never having known his real parents, Po is suddenly becoming aware of what happened to them and how he ended up in the care of Mr. Ping (James Hong).

A Warrior of Black and White

The key to Po's past happens to coincide deeply with the rise of a new villain in China, a peacock named Shen (Gary Oldman). With his new weapon against Kung Fu, Shen intends to enslave all of China but an old soothsayer (Michelle Yeoh) has predicted his doom at the hands of a warrior of black and white.

Simple Yet Complex

I'll end my plot description there to avoid spoilers. Surprisingly, the creators of "Kung Fu Panda 2" have crafted a plot that requires discretion on the part of critics because the plot has complexity and payoffs that are much more enjoyable the less you know going in. Most kids movies forgo such complications but "Kung Fu Panda 2" writers Jonathan Aibel and Glen Berger along with director Jennifer Yuh have pulled off the remarkably difficult task of crafting a plot that is simple enough for kids to follow yet complex enough to involve adults.

The animation has great depth as well as director Yuh combines modern CG animation with touches of old school, Disney style animation. Avoid the 3D version of "Kung Fu Panda 2" and you will be rewarded with bright, beautiful colors that pop off of the screen in far more dazzling ways than a murky 3D image can deliver.

Kung Fu Panda 2 is Very Funny

I should also mention that "Kung Fu Panda 2" is really funny on top of being an involving story. Jack Black wonderfully inhabits Po and the energy and excitement he brings to each line of dialogue is terrific. What he brings to "Kung Fu Panda 2" that was lacking in the original is a slight touch of sensitivity in his voice that really nails the few really dramatic moments of "Kung Fu Panda 2."

There I go again, selling short comedies. Honestly, "Kung Fu Panda 2" is first and foremost a funny kid's movie. The creators have this time merely added a little sophistication to the storytelling, deepened the character of Po and crafted a back story with real resonance that could sustain yet another sequel.

Dreamworks Animation's Best Movie Yet

"Kung Fu Panda 2" is a wonderful movie. Director Jennifer Yuh and her team have given such careful attention to detail and nuance that they have crafted something far better than you could ever expect of a blockbuster sequel. "Kung Fu Panda 2" is funny and sweet with a big heart and a few honestly moving dramatic moments that recall the best of classic Disney and Pixar animated features and may be the best animated feature thus far crafted by the team at Dreamworks Animation, topping even their delightful "How To Train Your Dragon."

Movie Review The Karate Kid

The Karate Kid (2010) 

Directed by Harald Zwart 

Written by Christopher Murphy 

Starring Jaden Smith, Jackie Chan, Taraji P. Henson

Release Date June 11th, 2010

Published July 11th, 2010,

Remakes are a bad idea. They exist purely to leech off of the success of the original and have almost no artistic spirit of their own. Remakes are, generally, a lazy yet hasty rehash of the past meant to financially capitalize on idle nostalgia. Thus there was little reason to assume the re-makers of the 80's favorite “The Karate Kid” would be any different.

Fair to say, in many ways “The Karate Kid” is no different from the litany of bad remakes from Hollywood but in the most wonderful ways it has innovated. Yes, there is a touch of originality and even thoughtful attempts at more than the mere re-enactment of the past, thanks mostly to two exceptionally well cast leads and a well chosen change in location.

Dre Parker (Smith) is moving to China. His mom Sherry (Taraji P. Henson) has taken a job in Beijing and the move from Detroit seems permanent. Stranger in a strange land, Dre has not so smartly avoided learning much of the language leaving him even more of an outsider.

Lucky for him a few nice folks speak indulge his ignorance including the pretty violin prodigy Meiying (Wenwen Hong) who attends Dre's school. Also helpfully speaking English is Mr. Han, the maintenance man in Dre's apartment building. Mr. Han is even more helpful because he also knows kung fu, a handy bit of expertise that Dre can use when a group of kung fu wielding bullies target Dre for being friends with Meiying.

Mr. Han would prefer to talk out the bullies troubles with their sensei at a major league kung fu dojo but when talking fails, Mr. Han decides to enter Dre in a kung fu tournament where hopefully he can win the bullies respect through skill, determination and most of all, beating them up in a legally sanctioned fight.

From there we get a series of training scenes interrupted briefly by a surprising sweet and subtle romance between Dre and Meiying that includes one of the cutest first kisses we've seen on screen since Macauley Culkin and Anna Chlumsky in My Girl. The romance is wonderfully tame and perfectly suited to the age of the actors -both are 12 as of the film's shooting- something that is far too often overlooked in modern movies.

Director Harald Zwart does what he can to screw up “The Karate Kid.” The director of such awful movies as “Pink Panther ..2”.. and “One Night at McCool's” drives scenes into the ground by repeating the same action from different angles ad nauseum. For instance, the start of training has Dre repeatedly taking off his jacket, hanging up his jacket, putting the jacket back on, dropping the jacket on the ground and picking it back up. 

The scene pays off, quite like Mr. Miyagi's Wax on Wax off does for Daniel San in the original, but payoff or not it's still a kid repeatedly playing with his jacket. There aren't enough angles or pop music scoring that can make this interesting over the 15 to 20 minutes of screen time devoted to it.

That said Jaden Smith is such a wonderful young actor with so much of his dad Will's charm that you can tolerate even the extended jacket related scenes. Jaden and co-star Jackie Chan make a great team and when they are not tied down by that damn jacket they are a lot of fun to watch. Surprisingly, Chan does quiet and cantankerous geezer almost as well as he does flip kicks and open hand punches. 

Smith and Chan are great but they share top billing with China which despite Communism and a lack of personal freedoms is beautiful on screen. The Forbidden City and The Great Wall are indeed well worn tourist traps on the big screen but they are unbelievably gorgeous tourist traps and you won't mind yet another movie featuring them.

Is it at all plausible that Dre could run unencumbered on an empty great wall or practice atop its spires? No, but it makes for a couple of fantastic visuals. When the scene moves to the hills of China and some gorgeous mountainside locations you will have to catch your breath at the beauty. The scenery in China lends an epic feel to the production and makes “The Karate Kid” feel like something slightly more than just another cash grab remake. 

Is the new “Karate Kid'' as charming as the original? No, but it could never be. The original is not necessarily a classic piece of cinema but it is a treasure of its time period and Ralph Macchio's chemistry with Pat Morita and Morita's dignified, nuanced performance make the original something to be remembered.

The remake honors the original by not stinking up the joint and finding a few notes of its own to play. Everything rides on the strength of young Jaden Smith's budding star charisma and Jackie Chan's aging lovability and it is a magical teaming that helps you overlook the many issues that exist with this remake of “The Karate Kid”.

Movie Review: The Forbidden Kingdom

The Forbidden Kingdom (2008) 

Directed by Rob Minkoff 

Written by John Fusco 

Starring Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Michael Angarano

Release Date April 18th, 2008 

Published April 19th, 2008

The first teaming of Jackie Chan and Jet Li delivers one solid fight scene. In a monastery the two masters face each other down and neither can capture a full advantage. It's an alright scene, a good fight but with both Chan and Li playing good guys in The Forbidden Kingdom it is a brief fight and the better man is never close to decided.

In The Forbidden Kingdom Michael Angarano stars as  Jason, a Boston teenager with a love of kung fu movies. One day, when visiting his favorite Chinatown pawn shop, run by his friend, the kindly old Hop (Jackie Chan), he comes across a beautiful golden staff. Hop tells Jason that the staff must be returned to it's rightful owner and keeps Jason away from it.

Later, when Jason is attacked by local bullies they take him back to Hop's shop where they plan on his help robbing the old shop keep. In the ensuing chaos, Jason is given the staff by Hop and told to take it to it's rightful owner. Soon, Jason is unconscious and when he awakens his somewhere in China and somewhere in the past.

Taken in by martial arts master Lu Yang (Jackie Chan, again), Jason explains his extraordinary journey and Lu Yang tells Jason the story of the staff. It belonged to the Monkey King who was an immortal master, beloved by the gods but envied by the Jade Emporer (Colin Chou). Seeing the Monkey King as a threat to his power he tricks him and encases him in Jade, not before the Monkey King delivered his staff into the future.

Jason and Lu Yang must return the staff to the five elements mountain where the statue of the Monkey King resides and release him if Jason is to be returned home. Along the way they are joined by Golden Sparrow who is seeking revenge on the Jade Emporer and the Silent Monk (Jet Li) whose connection to the Monkey King is will be recognizable to the most observant viewers.

The Forbidden Kingdom succeeds when keeping things light and high off the ground. When Jackie Chan, Jet Li and the rest are flying around as if gravity were merely a choice, Forbidden Kingdom is alot of fun. However, when grounded and spouting about Monkey King's, the gods, the elements and what not, it grows tired quickly.

Director Rob Minkoff (Haunted Mansion) has a good eye for the kung fu and high wire acts but a tin ear for character and dialogue. The thudding plot doesn't too often get in the way of Chan and Li flying with the greatest of ease, but it does get in the way enough for the plot to trip along the way. Things are not helped by young Michael Angarano who looks like Ralph Macchio minus the appealing personality.

The Forbidden Kingdom doesn't exactly hit a home run for the first teaming of Jackie Chan and Jet Li. However, with these two kung fu masters getting up there in age we really cannot expect much more. We get one good face off and a number of good fights where they are on the same side. Would I liked to have seen them head to head a little more? Sure, who wouldn't but that is a different movie.

The Forbidden Kingdom is a family movie with some kung fu not a kung fu movie. Judging the intent, it's not a bad family movie. A little clunky and disposable. But not bad.

Movie Review Rush Hour 3

Rush Hour 3 (2007)

Directed by Bret Ratner

Written by Jeff Nathanson

Starring Chris Tucker, Jackie Chan, Max Von Sydow, Noemie Lenoire, Jingchu Zhang

Release Date August 10th, 2007

Published August 9th, 2007

Chris Tucker has become something of a mystery. After 2001's Rush Hour 2, Tucker could not have been hotter. Tucker was commanding a salary of 20 million dollars per picture. He had offers coming in left and right and then nothing. For six years Tucker seemingly vanished from Hollywood. Six years later, after spending some time as a philanthropist in Africa, Tucker is back and returning to the character that made him a 20 million dollar man.

The endless troubles, budget and screenplay-wise, of Rush Hour 3 likely contributed to Tucker's absence. This sequel has been in the works since Rush Hour 2 opened to nearly 70 million dollars back in August of 2001. However, they just could not work out the many issues, until now, six years later.

It's been six years since Detective Carter (Chris Tucker) and his international partner, Inspector Lee (Jackie Chan) threw down against some bad guys. Today, Carter has gotten himself in so much trouble that he is directing traffic on the busy streets of L.A. Meanwhile, his pal Lee is back in town, protecting the life of Ambassador Han (Tzi Ma) who may have information that could bring down the evil Chinese Triad.

When the Ambassador is shot, though not killed, Lee and Carter re-team to search for the Triad leaders who organized the hit, knowing that if they don't the triad will return to finish the job and kill the Ambassador's daughter Soo Yung (Jingchu Zhang). The investigation takes Carter and Lee to Paris where the triad is searching for a secret linked to a cabaret performer (Noemie Lenoire) and the French Ambassador Varden (Max Von Sydow).

You can definitely see some wear and tear on the Rush Hour concept as the creators and stars have stretched this buddy cop premise about as far as it can go. Carter and Lee have been friends for nearly a decade now, since the original Rush Hour in 1998, and yet we are to believe they still cannot understand each other.

The jokes have run their course and what is left is Tucker trying to motormouth his way through some mediocre improv jokes and an aging Jackie Chan trying desperately to hide his use of stunt men and CGI to help him with the acrobatics that made him a star. To Chan's credit, the action is the film's best asset, even if you can occasionally see the CGI at the seams.

Joining Tucker and Chan in Rush Hour 3 is a motley crew of supporting players and cameo day players. Director Roman Polanski is a standout as an officious French police officer who confronts Carter and Lee at Air France airport security in a most uncomfortable fashion. It's uncomfortable not merely for the joke but for the fact that it is Roman Polanski and this joke. And, of course, the trailer plays up Chan and Tucker's encounter with the former world's tallest man Sun Ming Ming which is about as funny as it is in the trailers and TV commercials.

Then there is Yvan Attal as the snooty French cab driver George. His anti-American schtick takes the film dangerously close to social commentary for all of about 20 seconds before he is tearing through the streets of Paris and screaming I love being an American! Americans by his definition, being the kind of people who are constantly involved in car chases and gunplay.

The problem with Rush Hour 3 is that it just isn't funny enough. You know that when the biggest laugh in the movie comes from a woman with a wig and an oh so timely reference to The Crying Game that the humor is beyond stale. Thankfully, Jackie Chan and director Brett Ratner do well enough with the fight scenes that even the most bored and jaded moviegoer will find themselves compelled, especially in the big Eiffel Tower finale.

The Rush Hour series is tired and running on fumes, like so many third films in Hollywood sequel land. Remember Lethal Weapon3? Ugh!. Rush Hour 3 isn't quite that disastrous but it's not that much better either. Here's hoping that Chan and Tucker move on to bigger and better things. Chan might consider training someone else to take all of those falls that have taken such a toll on him.

As for Chris Tucker, it's nice to see him back on the screen as he does remain a welcome presence. Let's just get past the motormouth cops and get him into something more challenging, or at the very least, something funnier than the retread jokes of Rush Hour 3.

Movie Review: Around the World in 80 Days

Around the World in 80 Days (2004) 

Directed by Frank Coraci

Written by David Titcher 

Starring Jackie Chan, Steve Coogan, Cecile de France, Jim Broadbent, Arnold Schwarzenegger

Release Date June 16th, 2004 

Published June 15th, 2004 

History can be unkind to a movie. Take Mike Todd's immense vanity production 1956's Around The World In 80 Days. The film was the most extravagant and expensive production of it's time and was awarded Best Picture, beating Giant and The Ten Commandments. However, ask most critics about the film and you get a different picture altogether. The film is a God-awful mess for the most part.

Still it's a well-known title and has the Jules Verne name to back it up and thus we have a remake on our hands. Sure, it doesn't have the extravagance of original film but it does have the charm the previous film lacked. And there is a lot to be said for charm.

Phileas Fogg (Steve Coogan) is not one of those “head in the clouds” types and he's not a dreamer. He's just a scientist with faith in man's ability to accomplish any task. With his sometimes-unusual inventions, he pushes the boundaries of known human limits and pushes the patience of Britain's club of top scientists, led by Lord Kelvin (Jim Broadbent). Fogg's boundless imagination has yet to invent anything that impresses Lord Kelvin. In fact, Kelvin does all he can to prevent Fogg from becoming a full-fledged member of the club.

It is fate then that Fogg should meet a would-be thief who calls himself Passepartout (Jackie Chan), which is French-Chinese or so he explains. Passepartout, unknown to Fogg, has just robbed the bank of England but it's not what you think. Passepartout was merely retrieving an ancient artifact that was stolen from his village by the vial General Fang (Karen Mok) and sold to Lord Kelvin. While evading the police, Passepartout hides out at Fogg's mansion pretending to be a valet sent over by a service. It is Passepartout who hatches the 80 days bet as a way of getting Fogg to transport him back to China to return the artifact called The Jade Buddha.

The wager is thus: if Fogg can circumnavigate the globe in less than 80 days then Lord Kelvin will step down and name Fogg head of the Royal Academy of Science. However, if Fogg fails he must never invent again. With the wager in place we are off on a wild ride around the world with Passepartout being chased by the Chinese army of General Fang and both being pursued by the bumbling, Brit Inspector Fix (Ewan Bremner).

The guys aren't alone though. In France, they are joined by a sexy French painter Monique La Roche (Cecille De France) who basically exists as a function of the plot. After all what adventure movie doesn't have a love interest? It's in the movie rulebook so she's in the movie. It helps that she is easy on the eyes and quick with her spirited wit. Monique has an immediate attraction to Phileas who’s somewhat clueless, again, as the plot would have it.

Okay, we are not breaking new ground here and not just because this is a remake. There are a number of contrivances and shortcuts. This was after all directed by Adam Sandler's in house director Frank Coraci, so what else would you expect?

Still, the film does have a joyous spirit to it. It's funny and at times even exciting, especially Jackie Chan who has never been better. Some have said that Jackie Chan has lost a step but I didn't notice. If he's being helped by computers, wires or stunt doubles, it's well covered up and his stunt choreography is as good as it's ever been. Keep an eye out for his bench fighting scene against General Fang's men and the Statue of Liberty fight, two terrific, exciting fight scenes. Chan can also mug with the best of them and here he takes on an almost silent movie hero vibe as his face contorts into all sorts of exaggerated emotions. His facial expressions make up for his still nearly unintelligible accent.

Sadly, the wonderful Steve Coogan who was so memorable in 24 Hour Party People never really comes to life in this film. Coogan's Phileas Fogg is entirely too straight-laced and uptight to be interesting. His main emotions stem from his constant need to keep track of time. The rare scenes where he does spark are the romantic moments with the lovely Cecille De France, who has enough energy and spark for the both of them. She looks as if the French have cloned Brittany Murphy and given her an accent, and like Murphy, it's her boundless spirit that makes her so sexy.

As a family movie, Around The World in 80 Days will try the patience of young children with it's few dead spots. However, once Chan has some butts to kick the kids and some of the parents will be very entertained. Try and forget the original film and especially forget Jules Verne who deserves better and has yet to see his work fully realized onscreen. Around The World in 80 Days is not for purists or nitpickers, it is simply a brainlessly entertaining piece of pop candy.

Movie Review: The Accidental Spy

The Accidental Spy (2001) 

Directed by Teddy Chan 

Written by Ivy Ho

Starring Jackie Chan, Scott Adkins 

Release Date January 18th, 2001 

Published September 4th, 2001 

Never having been a fan of Jackie Chan, I'm not sure why I rented The Accidental Spy. I respect Chan for his work ethic and impressive stunt coordination. However, his acting leaves much to be desired. That is probably because he doesn't speak English very well. Therefore, it may be an unfair judgment on my part. I'm told his early work in Hong Kong is far more spectacular than his recent Hollywood fare. 

I'm sure that's true because his Hollywood stuff, no matter how good the stunts are, are still typical brainless crowd-pleasers with no real point of view; just strung together action scenes and a couple of humorous one liners. So now, I'm still wondering what made me rent The Accidental Spy, and still don't have a clue.

As we join the story we meet Buck (Chan) an affable fitness store clerk. After a tough day at work, Buck foils a bank robbery. The robbery leads to his receiving a letter from a lawyer informing him of his dying father and a possible multimillion-dollar inheritance.

An intrigued Buck meets his father, who was thought to have died in the Korean War. In reality, Dad was a secret agent. Now on his deathbed he offers his son the chance to win a large inheritance. To do so, he must trek to Turkey and uncover a safety deposit box, which contains more than just cash. All the while, Buck is being chased by drug dealers whom his father was secretly doing business with. 

The Accidental Spy is an odd film. At times it's typical Chan slapstick and chop-socky, but it also wants to be taken seriously as it introduces one of two love interests--a young girl hooked on drugs and enslaved by Buck's pursuers. The odd switch in tone never comes together and Chan's tomfoolery deflates any drama the film might have had, making The Accidental Spy a very uneven, and at times dull, movie. 

As time goes by it's no surprise that Chan's action stunts slow down a little, and you can see it in this film, which has as much exposition and dialogue as it does fight scenes. As you can imagine, exposition isn't Jackie's strong suit and the awful overdubbing of American voices over Chinese faces makes the dialogue almost unbearable. That said, I will not judge Jackie Chan's Hong Kong oeuvre by this one film. In fact, I am going to make a point of seeing more Hong Kong movies as a way of broadening my horizons. 

Maybe that is why I rented The Accidental Spy. 

Movie Review Shanghai Knights

Shanghai Knights (2003) 

Directed by David Dobkin 

Written by Alfred Gough, Miles Milar 

Starring Jackie Chan, Owen Wilson, Fann Wong, Donnie Yen, Aidan Gillen 

Release Date February 7th, 2003 

Published February 7th, 2003 

I was not a fan of Shanghai Noon, the first teaming of Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson. That film was a dull amalgam of Western cliches and Chan's usual kung-fu histrionics leavened slightly by Wilson's surfer dude charm. So I must admit I wasn't looking forward to the sequel, Shanghai Knights, which transplants the Western duo from Nevada to Britain.

It's 1887 and Britain and China are attempting to avoid a war. The peace process is not helped however by the theft of China's Great Seal, which is the symbol of power in China. The man charged with the protection of the seal is killed and he happens to be the father of Chon Wang (Chan). The seal was stolen by a British aristocrat who was supposed to be heading the peace process. The bad guy is tracked to Britain by Lin Wang, Chon's sister (smokin hot Fan Wong).

After receiving word from his sister, Chon leaves his post as a Nevada Sheriff for New York City so that he can hook up with his old friend Roy O'Bannon (Wilson) to retrieve his portion of the treasure they collected in the first film. Not surprisingly, Roy has blown through the entire treasure printing a book about their first adventure that paints himself as the hero. With debtors and cops chasing him, Roy joins Chon on his trip to Britain.

Once in Britain our heroes join up with a Scotland Yard detective, whose full name is one of the film's many strained-in jokes, to find Chon's sister and track the man who stole the Great Seal. Standing in their way is not only the British villain Rathbone, but a Chinese villain Wu Yip, played by Donnie Yen. Another complication is Roy's attraction to Chon's sister, which Chon attempts to discourage but will no doubt be forced to accept.

The film of course features Chan's typical kung-fu stuff, but it seems fresher than usual here with a slightly more rehearsed feel that makes it more fluid and witty. There is a terrific sequence that takes place with Chan and some police officers in a revolving door that combines Keystone cops, Charlie Chaplin and Bruce Lee. Another sensational sequence honors silent screen superstar Harold Lloyd as Chan and Wilson hang precariously from a clock face.

Why does Shanghai Knights succeed where the first film failed? I'd say the change in location helped but also the chemistry between Wilson and Chan is the biggest improvement. In their first teaming, the two never seemed to be on the same page, with Wilson's laid back charm exposing Chan's weakness with the language. The stunts in Shanghai Knights seem fresher and better choreographed than most of Chan's recent work, especially in the dreadful Tuxedo.

Director David Dobkin infuses the film with a stronger wit and more consistent pace than the first film's helmer, who too often relied on Chan's fighting skills and forgot to make the film funny. Shanghai Knights has those typical buddy movie moments and can't help getting caught up in genre cliche but its wit and energy carries it over the rough spot and makes for an entertaining little fluff piece. A great popcorn film.

Movie Review: The Spy Next Door

The Spy Next Door (2010) 

Directed by Brian Levant 

Written by Jonathan Bernstein, James Greer, Gregory Poirier 

Starring Jackie Chan, Amber Valletta, Madeline Carroll, George Lopez

Release Date January 15th, 2010 

Published January 14th, 2010 

It is far too easy to rip a movie like The Spy Next Door. The plot is dimwitted and derivative, star Jackie Chan has far too little mastery of the English language to be given this many lines, and the supporting cast is a minefield of overacting and over-arching cuteness. Way too easy. The harder thing to do is admit that despite all the garbage in The Spy Next Door, there are a few modest pleasures and even a couple of smiles to be had.

The Spy Next Door is an accidental re-imagining of Vin Diesel's Disney flick The Pacifier. Take the world's greatest super-spy and leave him in charge of some precocious pre-teens and wait for wacky stuff to happen. The only difference is where Diesel seems terribly uncomfortable; Jackie Chan seems right at home playing with the kids.

Chan is secret agent Bob Ho, a spy on loan to the CIA from Chinese Intelligence. Bob is tracking a Russian bad guy named Poldark (Magnus Scheving) and his evil gal Friday, Creel (Katherine Boecher) as they seek to destroy the world supply of oil. Helping Bob are a pair of CIA agents, Glaze (George Lopez) and Colton (Billy Ray Cyrus).

Meanwhile, Bob is looking to wrap up his spy career so that he can marry his next door neighbor Gillian (Amber Valletta) who does not know that Bob is really a spy. Even bigger than that obstacle however is getting in good with Gillian's three kids. Farren (Madeline Carroll) is a severely moody oldest daughter who nastily calls her mom Gillian. Ian (Will Shadley) is the middle child and a power nerd who, though only 9, reads physics for fun. And finally 4 year Nora (Alina Foley) who is convinced that Bob is what Ian calls a ‘cyborg.’ Together the siblings look to get rid of boring Bob before he can marry mommy.

Yes, the plot is exceedingly dopey and condescendingly simple. But, you know that when you buy the ticket. Given that knowledge going in makes it easier to appreciate the few charms that The Spy Next Door has. Jackie Chan is now 50 years old and years of daring stunt work have taken their toll. Nevertheless, Chan gives it a go in The Spy Next Door and his brand of martial arts crossed with Buster Keaton style slapstick hasn't been this much fun in a while.

The kids in kid’s movies can be terribly irritating, either too precious or too grating. They are at times both in The Spy Next Door. That said each of the child actors has a good moment or two, especially young Alina Foley. It's cheating to have a sweet little four year old whisper 'I love you bob' as he sings her to sleep with a Chinese lullaby, but it's hard to deny how cute the scene is.

The Spy Next Door is not 'cinema.' This is not a great movie but it never pretends to be. The Spy Next Door is briskly paced, breezy, goofy and, best of all, over before you really tire of its idiot plot. By the lowered standards of kid’s entertainment this qualifies as something I can recommend. Kids won't be harmed by it and mom and dad may actually stay awake during most of it. What more can you ask of low rent kids entertainment. 

The Medallion

The Medallion (2003) 

Directed  by Gordon Chan 

Written by Bennett Joshua Davlin, Alfred Cheung, Gordon Chan, Paul Wheeler, Bey Logan

Starring Jackie Chan, Lee Evans, Claire Forlani, Julian Sands, John Rhy-Davies 

Release Date August 22nd, 2003 

As a stuntman Jackie Chan is unparalleled. However, as an actor, Jackie fights dialogue and loses badly. I can't fault Jackie for not having mastered the English language but I can fault the numerous directors who still force Chan to wrestle with not only dialogue but jokes and one liners, something that is almost as painful as one of Jackie's numerous pratfalls. In The Medallion, Jackie is once again relied upon to deliver jokey dialogue in between the fights, and though the fights are fun, the dialogue is absolutely deathly.

Chan is yet again in the role of a Hong Kong cop sent around the world to fight bad guys. In this version he's Eddie Yong and he is searching for a mystical young boy with strange powers who has been taken hostage by a terrorist named Snake-head (Julian Sands). On Eddie's side are a pair of Interpol agents, the bumbling comic relief Arthur (Lee Evans)and the love interest Nicole (Claire Forlani).

The Medallion of the title is the boy’s power source. With it he can bestow immortality or take it away. He can also use it to bring people back to life, which comes in handy when Eddie is killed attempting to save him. Not only does Eddie come back from the dead he now has super strength and immortality. However Snakehead has also used the Medallion and has the same powers as Eddie leading to climactic battle that is essentially an exercise in special effects, which really doesn't suit Jackie's more natural approach to fight scenes.

But then not much of anything in The Medallion seems to suit Jackie's talents save for the early fight scenes where Jackie gracefully works his way through henchman after henchman, barely breaking a sweat. When he does sweat it's usually fighting his way through sub Abbot and Costello style banter with Evans.

Director Gordon Chan, directing his first western feature, seems at a loss trying to combine Hong Kong action with a Hollywood script that calls for as much acting as fighting. You can see from the hack job editing that Gordon Chan didn't have a clue what to do with the film’s scripted humor which looks as if it was pieced together from the outtakes that always play during the credits of a Jackie Chan film.

The Medallion is yet another attempt by Hollywood to shoehorn Jackie Chan into American style action comedy and, like last years The Tuxedo, it's yet another failure. Jackie Chan is a charismatic and lovable actor but watching him have to wrestle with a script that doesn't suit his talents is painful to watch and impossible to enjoy.