Movie Review Madame Web

Madame Web (2024)

Directed by S.J Clarkson 

Written by Matt Sazama, Burk Sharpless, Claire Parker, S.J Clarkson 

Starring Dakota Johnson, Adam Scott, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O'Connor 

Release Date February 14th, 2024 

Published February 16th, 2024

Madame Web is a uniquely misconceived superhero flick. Part Morbius, part Catwoman, and all terrible, this Dakota Johnson led adventure in Sony's Wish.com version of the Marvel Universe is stunningly terrible. It's the kind of bad that catches you off guard. In this day and age movies tend toward being merely mediocre. Money and careful, risk-averse studios appeared to have found away to keep the truly bad movies away from the big screen in favor of making dull, inoffensive, and forgettable into an all new kind of bad movie. And yet, Madame Web has escaped the web of the merely mediocre into the rarified air of being genuinely bad. 

Madame Web stars Dakota Johnson as Cassie Webb, an EMS worker with a murky past. Cassie's mother died in childbirth and she grew up in the foster system. As an adult, Cassie's main source of support is her partner, Ben Parker (Adam Scott). When Cassie is nearly killed while providing life saving measures she begins to have visions of the future. These brief glimpses into the very near future help Cassie see that a mad man dressed in a dark costume is stalking three teenage women, each of whom she's met before, ever so briefly. Julia (Sydney Sweeney), Anya (Isabela Merced), and Mattie (Celeste O'Connor), are from entirely different backgrounds but they share a connection, a lack of a family. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Leap Year

Leap Year (2010) 

Directed by Anand Tucker

Written by Harry Elfont

Starring Amy Adams, Matthew Goode, Adam Scott 

Release Date January 8th, 2010 

Published January 8th, 2010

The women's liberation movement in the universe of film consists of empowering women economically; they all get fabulous jobs in fashion or real estate or owning uncommonly successful restaurants. The liberation stops however once they have found a man. Such is the case of the new romantic comedy Leap Year starring the plucky Amy Adams.

Adams stars in Leap Year as Anna whose job is setting up apartments for sale. She doesn't sell the apartments; she merely dresses them for sale and makes fabulous amounts of money doing it. In a rare twist, Anna has already met a man, Jeremy (Adam Scott), who shares her love of status symbols and just the right apartment.

Anna and Jeremy have been together four years and just before he leaves for Ireland on a business trip Anna gets in her head that he is finally going to propose to her, so convinced that she and a friend actually practice being surprised when he asks. No surprise to anyone who's seen the film's trailer, Jeremy doesn't ask and Anna is briefly devastated.

After Jeremy's left a plan is hatched, Anna will fly to Ireland just in time for Leap Day, February 29th, a day in Irish tradition when a woman can ask a man to marry her. Now, the liberated woman of today might ask why a holiday is needed for a woman to ask a man to marry her. The makers of Leap Year ladies are unconcerned with such questions.

The leap day thing is merely a device to propel Anna on a madcap dash to Dublin. First her plane is diverted to Scotland then she gets stranded in an Irish village called Dingle where she seeks a ride from one of the locals. The only driver available is also the local pub and hotelier, Declan (Matthew Goode).

Surprise, surprise, Anna and Declan immediately choose to dislike each other. She's a shrewish, entitled bitch and he's easygoing, handsome charmer with a secret reason for not trusting women. If your eyes weren't rolling through the back of your head as you read that you have more self control than I.

So, off they go on a trip across the Irish countryside arguing and uh-oh falling in love with all of the requisite dopey rom-com roadblocks checked off like a shopping list at a cliché outlet. No surprise then to learn, the script comes from the makers of Made of Honor and Josie and the Pussycats.

We all know how this will end, anyone who’s seen the trailer for Leap Year knows how it will end. It's a romantic comedy and experience tells us that it is the journey and not the destination when it comes to the modern rom-com. Sadly, the journey in Leap Year is mostly tedious.

I say mostly tedious because along the way, though all the predictable beats are there, somehow a few grace notes sneak in. A script polish by Oscar winner Simon Beaufoy likely brought the scene where Anna and Declan clash at a wedding and then share a romantic walk in Dublin before she meets up with Jeremy.

These few good scenes however cannot make up for the inept series of clichés that precede them. Add to that the anti-feminist vibe of the whole thing. In the end, after all of the predictable crap plays out Anna throws everything away, the job she loved, the things she worked hard for just so that she can live the life of a doting wife. Yes, she's in love but why does that require her to give up all that she was.

Leap Year is yet another movie that falls back on supposed traditional values, the lazy notion that true fulfillment for a woman can only come in a traditional marriage, their hopes and dreams be damned.  . Don't be mistaken, choosing to be a wife and mother is as feminist as getting into the rat race but when a character is presented like Anna as having her own life and job, a genuine career that she appears to love and be quite good at, that the movie simply has her chuck aside for the desperate pursuit of traditional marriage, is this movie lazily reinforcing traditional stereotypical and anti-feminist values. 

I don't think the makers of Leap Year set out to undermine the notion of a working woman. Rather, I think Leap Year is a dimwitted comedy that lazily falls back on traditional gender roles because it's easier than trying to create fully fleshed out characters with lives of their own who have to choose to make compromises and sacrifices if they want to have a family and a marriage. Leap Year has no time for complexity or even a modicum of depth. And since the film also fails at being funny, there is little else to think about than how the movie lazily reinforces stereotypes. 

I realize that I am not supposed to care. I get that the filmmakers don't want to talk about this but the ignorance of these facts is a plague that infects far too many modern so-called romances. Leap Year is just the latest symptom of said plague.

Movie Review Our Idiot Brother

Our Idiot Brother (2011) 

Directed by Jesse Peretz

Written by Evgenia Peretz, David Schisgall

Starring Paul Rudd, Zooey Deschanel, Kathryn Hahn, T.J Miller, Steve Coogan, Adam Scott, Rashida Jones

Release Date August 26th, 2011 

Published August 26th, 2011

Paul Rudd is so appealing in "Our Idiot Brother" that you barely notice how thin the story is or how poorly drawn the supporting players are. The star of "Role Models" and "I Love You Man;" Paul Rudd has become known for his fidgety, acerbic, tightly wound comic characters. Now with "Our Idiot Brother" he has expanded his brand to include, shaggy, good natured stoner.

Ned (Paul Rudd) is just a great guy; unassuming, trusting and ready to help when needed. Thus, when a cop, in full uniform, approaches him and asks for some weed, Ned obliges only after hearing how tough things have been for the cop lately. It's a wonderful scene and Rudd's affability sells it.

When Ned gets out of prison, early release as he was everybody's favorite inmate, he finds that his girlfriend (Kathryn Hahn) has kicked him off of their organic farm and moved on with a new guy, Billy (T.J Miller). Worse, she's keeping Ned's beloved dog Willie Nelson.

Homeless, Ned moves back home to New York, briefly living with his mother (Shirley Knight) before crowding into the lives of his uptight sisters. First up is Liz (Emily Mortimer). Liz is married to a jerky documentary filmmaker, Dylan (Steve Coogan), and has two kids; the boy, River (Matthew Mindler), is quickly Ned's best friend.

By the formula, since Ned has two other sisters, he will screw up Liz's life and be fobbed off on the next sister; in this case Miranda (Elizabeth Banks) who makes the mistake of having Ned help her out when she has an important celebrity interview to conduct. He also gets in the middle of her friendship with Jeremy (Adam Scott).

Finally, there is Natalie who seems to be defined by her lesbianism; she lives with her longtime lover Cindy (Rashida Jones). However, when a cute boy artist (Hugh Dancy) shows her some attention, even offering to help out Ned, things in Natalie's life get very complicated and of course, Ned is there to make an even more interesting mess.

"Our Idiot Brother" is highly formulaic and has a highly predictable ending but the journey to get to that ending and the modest detours from formula make it worth your time. This is among Paul Rudd's best performances, a loose, sweet and terrifically funny performance that evokes a younger version of Jeff Bridges's legendary The Dude.

The rest of the cast is not as well defined as Ned and are really only in place to give Ned something to do. It's as if writer Evgenia Peretz and her director brother Jesse Peretz came up with Ned first and then built a movie around him. That sounds bad but Ned is such a terrific character, and so remarkably well played by Paul Rudd, that "Our Idiot Brother" actually kind of works.

"Our Idiot Brother" doesn't work in the typical way that great movies work. However, on its own terms, "Our Idiot Brother" has such a great vibe and is so well centered on Rudd's performance that it works in its own very unique and often very funny way. It's a bit of a strange recommendation, you have to have a soft spot for stoners and Paul Rudd, but I do recommend "Our Idiot Brother."

Movie Review Step Brothers

Step Brothers (2008) 

Directed by Adam McKay

Written by Adam McKay, Will Ferrell

Starring Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Richard Jenkins, Mary Steenburgen, Adam Scott, Kathryn Hahn

Release Date July 25th, 2008 

Published July 24th, 2008 

My sister and I have a long running disagreement about the comedy of the absurd. She loves the strange, the bizarre and the out of context. I prefer a comedy with some structure, comedy with an idea behind it, a strong sense of character. That said, even with my sisters great tolerance for absurdity, even she will have a hard time enjoy the depths of absurdity plumbed in Step Brothers, the latest dumb guy comedy from the Will Ferrell factory.

Brennen (Will Ferrell) and Dale (John C. Reilly) are two 40 year old virgins who barely left the womb, let alone their respective parents' homes. Brennen's mom Nancy (Mary Steenbergen) happens to have met and fallen in love at first sight with Dale's dad Robert (Richard Jenkins). Now Brennen and Dale are step brothers and they are none to happy about it.

Setting about destroying each other, Brennen and Dale engage in an ugly and occasionally funny, escalation of nasty pranks all of which seem to reveal how much more they have in common than against one another. When Brennen's successful younger brother Derek (Adam Scott) shows up and Dale ends up punching, the step brothers finally realize all they have in common. Unfortunately, Dale and Brennen's hijinks as enemies and friends drive their parents to divorce. Now they must try and grow up or lose their family.

My description of the plot is much more conventional than the actual plot of Step Brothers which amounts more to throwing a series of gags at audiences than much of anything you might consider a plot. Director Adam McKay, who co-wrote the script with Ferrell, attempts from time to time to bring some structure to Step Brothers but the urge for non-sequitur gaga becomes too much to resist. Some of the gags are funny, some are embarrassing; for both actor and audience, and others just leave one to ponder other things they could be doing with their time, like watching The Dark Knight again.

So what is funny about Step Brothers? Mary Steenbergen's brief cursing fit gets a good laugh as does Richard Jenkins' ever increasing frustrations. Ana Gasteyer's astonishing dirty talk will stun and still get a good laugh and a dog belonging to a blind neighbor gets a laugh as well. Otherwise, Ferrell and O'Reilly's antics as Brennen and Dale are more awkward than funny, more mean spirited than good natured.

Is the idea of children beating up Ferrell and O'Reilly kind of funny? Yes. In execution however the scene simply isn't funny. When the scene is reprised later you know what will happen and again it's not very funny. These scenes are like most in Step Brothers, random, flailing attempts at jokes that miss far more than they hit.

Much of Step Brothers plays as if Ferrell, Reilly and McKay sat down and started throwing around gags, regardless of context and decided to just throw everything in and hope something would work. Because these are very talented guys, some of it does make you laugh. Just as much however makes you cringe or merely embarrassed for yourself and the performers.

Movie Review: Torque

Torque (2004) 

Directed by Joseph Kahn 

Written by Matt Johnson

Starring Martin Henderson, Ice Cube, Monet Mazur, Adam Scott, Jay Hernandez

Release Date January 16th, 2004

Published January 16th, 2004

The trailer for Torque is so eye-rollingly derivative as to bring about a physically painful reaction. The trailer inspired in me a groan of such depth it's almost indescribable. The trailer is as big, dumb and loud as any full-length action movie of the last ten years. Ear splitting metal music, dopey, mock tough guy dialogue and stunts so hokey they are beyond laughable. But it would be unfair to review the film based solely on the trailer so I actually went to see Torque and found exactly what the trailer promised it would be and worse.

Martin Henderson stars as motorcycle tough guy/ underwear model (okay not really an underwear model but you know what I mean), Cary Ford. Cary has just returned from Thailand where he was hiding from the Feds after being sought on drug charges. Cary has returned to California to set things right with the cops and get back the girl he left behind, Shane played by Monet Mazur.

With a pair of his old motorcycle buddies, Dalton (Jay Hernandez) and Val (Will Yun Lee), Cary makes his way back to LA but not without starting trouble with the motorcycle gang The Reapers, headed up by Trey (Ice Cube). Cary is able to reconnect with Shane though she fights it for a few minutes. Cary also reconnects with the guy who set him up on the drug charge, a fellow biker named Henry James (Matt Schulze). Cary still has Henry's drugs stashed somewhere and Henry wants them back. Rather than just kick Cary's ass and get the drugs back that way, Henry sets up Cary for the murder of Trey's brother (Rapper Fredro Starr). Henry will help Cary get away from Trey if Cary gives him his drugs back.

Why Henry can't just directly intimidate Cary into giving him his drugs back instead of setting up this byzantine murder plot that also involves a pair of FBI agents played by Dane Cook and Justina Machado, is one of the film’s innumerable plot issues. Then again, why do you need a plot when you have cool looking motorcycles?

Herein lies the problem with Torque. I was willing to give 2 Fast 2 Furious a pass because that film was laughably bad but had the coolest cars. Paul Walker is a terrifically bad actor, so bad that it's enjoyable to have him onscreen just to make fun of him. Torque on the other hand wants to be a better film than 2 Fast 2 Furious and it wants you to know it with lame little jokes about motorcycles being cooler and faster than cars. Unfortunately the motorcycles aren't cooler than the cars and the superior attitude of the film is badly misplaced.

Martin Henderson is a better actor than Paul Walker, which presents a different problem because there isn't much to make fun of. None of the material in the script for Torque is very good yet as delivered by Henderson it's not so terrifically bad that we can make fun of it. It's all just sort of there…it's not good, it's not bad, it's just a dull and derivative.

The action in Torque isn't all that shabby. First-time director Joseph Kahn is a pretty good technician behind the camera and he shoots some okay action stuff. None of it however rises to the memorably ridiculous levels of the worst of Bruckheimer and Bay or even it's cousins, The Fast and The Furious, and it's sequel. Sure Torque is big, it's dumb and it's loud, but in a more mediocre and far less interesting way than in a memorably good or awful way.

It's odd, I'm almost disappointed at how good Torque is. Let me correct that, I meant to say how bad it is but not as bad as it should have been to be good. It's a bad movie, but it's not bad in the way that 2 Fast 2 Furious or The Rock or Gone In 60 Seconds is bad. Torque isn't bad in that campy, fun unintentional way. It's just a bad movie and that's it.

Movie Review High Crimes

High Crimes (2002)

Directed by Carl Franklin 

Written by Yuri Zetser

Starring Ashley Judd, Morgan Freeman, James Caviezel, Adam Scott, Amanda Peet, Michael Shannon

Release Date April 5th, 2002 

Published April 5th, 2002 

The team of Ashley Judd and Morgan Freeman is a strong one. In Kiss the Girls their chemistry made what could have been a mundane suspense thriller into an entertaining suspense thriller. Thankfully. Judd and Freeman bring that same chemistry to High Crimes.

As we join the story Claire Kubik (Judd), is rolling out of bed and searching for her husband Tom (Jim Caviezel). The two are trying to have a baby. Claire is a lawyer; her most recent case has gotten her on TV and dangerously raised her profile. After getting her client off on a technicality her house is broken into. The next night as she and her husband are walking home and the FBI jumps out of nowhere and arrests them. It seems that as the police were investigating the break in her husband’s fingerprints came up as a match with a man wanted by military justice for the execution-style killings that took place during a military raid in El Salvador.

Claire wants to defend her husband but finds military courts to be far different than the court she is used to. So Claire employs the help of an ex-military lawyer named Charlie Grimes (Freeman). Also on the team is a naive young military lawyer played by Adam Scott and Claire's sister played by Amanda Peet.

Ashley Judd is very strong in High Crimes, her character through most of the film is never predictable. Though at the end she has one of those rather obvious but necessary scenes that you must have in average clockwork thrillers. Judd is better than the material she's given, which you could say about most of the films she has made. One of these days she will get a script as strong as she is.

Not that this script is bad, writer Yuri Zeltser takes what isn't very original and twists it just enough to make it interesting. Though the trailer gives away too much (I rented it already knowing the ending intuitively), there is just enough suspense to make the film entertaining. Of course the film is blessed to have such a sensational cast to carry out its clockwork plot.

High Crimes is indeed another by the book suspense thriller, set apart only by the great acting. Director Carl Franklin wrings just enough good dialogue and suspense out of the thin script to make an entertaining Friday night rental.

Movie Review Piranha 3D

Piranha 3D (2010) 

Directed by Alexandre Aja 

Written by Peter Goldfinger, Josh Stolberg 

Starring Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Adam Scott, Jessica Szohr, Jerry O'Connell 

Release Date August 20th, 2010 

Published August 20th, 2010 

I don't understand the appeal of a 3D penis destroyed by flesh chomping fish. Call me a buzzkill if you wish but I cannot understand why this is funny. As for it being frightening, it's certainly frighteningly poor taste but not frightening as presented in “Piranha 3D” which is, I'm assuming, supposed to be some kind of comic send up.

I assume this is comedy because the audience I watched it with were laughing far more than they were covering their eyes or ducking their heads to the shoulder of their dates. This audience cackled at the penis eating scene and roared approval during the underwater, nude, lesbian synchronized swimming scene. They roared again during the centerpiece gore-athon in the lake when the Piranha's swarmed the spring breakers leaving behind boney carcasses. I was left perplexed and a little depressed.

A lake that is home to a Sodom and Gomorrah of Spring Break debauchery is hit with a massive earthquake just before the partygoers arrive. The quake opens a crevasse that had been sealed for millions of years. Inside is a fully evolved and deadly species of Piranha seeking to quench a million years worth of bloodlust.

On land Sheriff Julie Forrester (Elisabeth Shue) and her top deputy Fallon (Ving Rhames) are readying for the arrival of drunken revelers when they get a call about a missing fisherman (Richard Dreyfuss). As we have seen in the film's opening minutes, the fisherman was the first victim of the piranhas and when the cops find him well, they catch on quicker than your usual movie cops.

Opting to try and close the lake, they also call in a team of scientists lead by Novak (Adam Scott). The scientists are the ones who find the piranhas, but not before two of them are turned into piranha food. The closing of the lake meanwhile isn't happening as the tiny police force are no match for the drunken partiers about to become Piranha meat.

Meanwhile, Sheriff Julie's son Jake (Steven R. McQueen) takes a job as an assistant to Derrick Jones (Jerry O'Connell) the creator of Wild Wild Girls. Derrick plans on filming girls taking their tops off and even tries to recruit Jake's crush Kelly (Jessica Szohr) to star alongside his protégé Danni (Kelly Brook) in his latest video, much to Jake's consternation. Naturally, all will end up face to face with piranhas, who survives and who has their penis torn off I will leave you to discover.

It's supposed to be camp right? Kitschy, over the top, Herschel Gordon Lewis, Roger Corman stuff right? I get that, I do. But, as directed by Alexandre Aja with a surprising amount of skill and directorial touch, I found “Piranha 3D” more in poor taste than campy and fun. I know, it's supposed to be in poor taste and I understand that appeals to some but I have a hard time enjoying this type of bad taste.

There is something nihilistic about the approach to the gore of “Piranha 3D.” Directors like Alexandre Aja and his protégé Eli Roth, who has a cameo in “Piranha 3D” as a wet T-shirt contest host, enjoy their violence and gore so much that the humans lose their value. Aja has the wrong kind of rooting interest at heart in each of his films. Rather than placing a good person in peril and asking the audience to root for their survival, Aja crafts awful human beings for the purpose of watching them be comically destroyed. It's ugly and brutal and I fear for those who find this kind of thing appeal. 

This is an ugly, inhuman perspective that I find impossible to get behind. I find the approach depressing and the enjoyment that so many seem to take in the destruction of their fellow man, no matter how fake or outsized it may be, just makes me sad. Say what you will about the quality of movies like “Halloween” or the original “Nightmare on Elm Street,” the characters mattered in each of those films, especially those played by Jamie Lee Curtis and Heather Langenkamp who always had our sympathies and were held above the evil they faced. 

When those films became hits and “Friday the 13th” started showing off Jason, things began to turn. When Freddy, Michael Myers and Jason became the stars, horror began to change and the rooting interests turned ugly. That leads us to where we are today with people cheering for human suffering, rooting for the gore and delighting in the degradation.

Yes, it's just an over the top horror film. Yes, it's not at all realistic. If that’s enough excuse for you to delight in watching people shredded limb from limb then enjoy. Just don’t ask me to join you. I’m going to find a movie where characters are held above their use as gory props and sex toys. By the way, if this is your kind of movie, I don’t think you and I should hang out. Just saying.