Horror in the 90s Meet the Applegates

Meet the Applegates (1991) 

Directed by Michael Lehmann 

Written by Michael Lehmann, Redbeard Simmons 

Starring Ed Begley Jr, Stockard Channing, Dabney Coleman

Release Date February 1st, 1991 

Box Office $485,000 

Writer-Director Michael Lehmann is to be respected for his... big choices. After making a splashy debut with Heathers, now beloved cult classic, Lehmann continued taking big risks. He made Hudson Hawk and allowed star Bruce Willis to walk all over him while no one could agree on what the movie should be. Lehmann's Hudson Hawk experience led him down a path to directing some of the most conventional yet memorable comedies of the late 90s, movies like Airheads and The Truth About Cats and Dogs. It's clear that Hudson Hawk chased the weird out of Michael Lehmann. 

My thesis statement for that observation is Lehmann's other pre-Hudson Hawk endeavor. While Heathers is remembered for its wild dark humor and unexpected levels of deathly violence, Lehmann took things a step further and a step stranger in 1991's Meet the Applegates. Despite having a cast led by three veteran actors of remarkable reputation, Ed Begley Jr., Stockard Channing, and Dabney Coleman, Meet the Applegates is one of the most bizarre, awkward, and peculiar movies ever made. 

In the jungles of South America, a remarkably racist and bleakly comic scene unfolds. Missionaries are teaching a collection of horrifying stereotypes about what America is like. The lesson tells the story of a family of four, parents Dick and Jane and their kids, Sally and Johnny. These four people, who don't exist, are the ideal 'nuclear family.' Just as the missionaries are completing their lesson, a construction crew breaks through and begins clearing the jungle. They are tearing down the rainforest and strip mining the place. 

In this process however, the construction crew unleashes a dormant type bug with... unique powers. These bugs, the Brazilian Cocorada, use chameleon-like powers to impersonate other species. In this case, the species they choose is human. Finding the book about the perfect nuclear family, four of the bugs take on the personas of Dick (Ed Begley Jr.), Jane (Stockard Channing), Sally (Camille Cooper) and Johnny (Robert Jayne). Using these human shells, the bugs move to the suburbs with a plan to destroy America in revenge for the destruction of the rainforest. 

This is all inferred on my part. The film quite jarringly shows the bugs murdering the missionaries and then credits. Then we are in the suburbs and a few visual clues tell us that these are the bugs in human form. Their mission becomes clear only after an expository conversation with Aunt Bea (Dabney Coleman). Aunt Bea is also a bug in disguise and he/she acts as the handler for the Applegates, giving them their mission and helping them to carry it out. Dabney Coleman in a dress is a haunting visual that should be funny but never is. 

Read my full length review at Horror.Media

Movie Review Isn't She Great (2000)

Isn't She Great (2000) 

Directed by Andrew Bergman 

Written by Paul Rudnick 

Starring Bette Midler. Nathan Lane, Stockard Channing, David Hyde Pierce 

Release Date January 28th, 2000 

Published September 20th, 2022 

I went into to watching Isn't She Great with a bad attitude. I've read a number of other critics who despised this movie. They decried what they claimed are numerous inaccuracies, they called Bette Midler's performance overly broad and cartoonish, and they barely mentioned the sweet romance at the heart of the movie. I was fully prepared to write a negative review of Isn't She Great and then I watched the movie and I was unexpectedly charmed. Perhaps its because I don't know much about the real Jacqueline Susann, or maybe I am just feeling generous, but I genuinely enjoyed most of Isn't She Great. 

Jaqueline Susann was a striver. Living in New York City, she felt that stardom was her birthright. When she failed to achieve fame by any means necessary, she dramatically walked into a lake ala Virginia Woolf only to find the water was barely knee deep. It's here where she meets the man who who would help make her dreams come through. Show business lifer, agent Irving Mansfield fell in love at first sight with Jacqueline Susann and after witnessing her quite funny and failing attempt at a dramatic death, he rescues her with promises of stardom. 

Their partnership got off to a slow start. Irving got her on television and got her gigs on commercials but Jacqueline's strength was her off the cuff wit, something she could not highlight on overly serious game shows or the confines of a live commercial advertisement. Finding little success on TV, Irving launches a new plan, a book. With support from Jacqueline's best friend, Florence Maybelle,. played by a brilliant, scene stealing Stockard Channing, Irving pitches Jacqueline the idea to write a novel. 

Jacqueline is immediately opposed to the idea, she claims that she doesn't have anything to say in a novel. Then Irving points out her incredible true stories about the dark side of Hollywood and Jacqueline is intrigued. Indeed, she's got thousands of darkly funny stories about Hollywood from her own experience and the experiences of her vast network of friends. It will require her to tell stories that her friends might prefer she did not tell, but what does she have to lose. 

Famously, Susann's dark comic story of the Hollywood underbelly, filled with truths and half truths about barely disguised Hollywood figures became the bestseller, Beyond The Valley of the Dolls. The book was an immediate sensation and soon, thanks to Irving, Jacqueline has the love and celebrity that she's always dreamed of. Naturally, this still being a movie, there is a false crisis that will divide our central couple before we get to our based on a true story ending, and that convenionalism does hold the movie back a little, it's not a death knell. 

Bette Midler and Nathan Lane make a surprisingly adorable couple in Isn't She Great. The chemistry between Midler and lane is lovely, platonically friendly growing into a chaste romance. It's charming watching Irving pine for Jackie and then try to move heaven and earth to achieve her dreams. By the same token, Midler is great at being first oblivious to Irving before seeing him as useful and then growing to rely on him, appreciate him and then love him. That's wonderfully complicated road to character growth and I really enjoyed that. 

Isn't She Lovely isn't written or directed with a great deal of innovation. The film holds to a rather strict biopic structure. That said, the film is rather breezy and doesn't drag at all. The film is brisk thanks to the performance of Bette Midler who plays Jacqueline Susann as the oversized personality one might assume she was from her brazen, barely veiled novels. It's a blowsy, blowhard performance by Midler with dramatic flourishes that I found humorous and endearing rather than merely hammy. The character, as essayed by Midler, is supposed to be hammy. That's a feature and not a bug in my estimation. 

Read my complete review of Isn't She Great on Geeks.Media. 

Movie Review The Business of Strangers

The Business of Strangers (2001) 

Directed by Patrick Stettner

Written by Patrick Stettner

Starring Stockard Channing, Julia Stiles, Fred Weller

Release Date December 7th, 2001 

Published January 14th, 2002

I recently wrote of how there are so few good roles for women in Hollywood films. In the indie film The Business of Strangers, there are two excellent female characters. Two fantastic actresses brilliantly bring both to life and both are botched by a first time writer-director who really didn't know what he had.

The film stars Stockard Channing as Julie, vice president of a software company from which she may or may not be getting fired. As she is to make a presentation to potential clients, Julie's temporary assistant shows up late and the deal is blown. The temp is a 24-year old Dartmouth grad named Paula (Julia Stiles) who doesn't seem all that fazed by her screw up, that is until Julie fires her on the spot. Thus beginning an unusual confrontation between two strong willed people.

Julie, now even more concerned with losing her job, has dinner with a corporate job hunter named Nick (Fred Weller). Julie soon finds her job is more than safe and has no need for Nick. Circumstances bring the three characters back together in Julie's massive hotel suite with the women playing Nick and each other, testing limits of psychology and sexuality.

The film has the feel and tone of Richard Linklater's superior indie Tape, though this film is from the female perspective. A good idea but one that writer-director Patrick Stettner abandons in favor of a confusing and somewhat convoluted revenge plot. The Nick character is never allowed to develop and half way through the film you're left wondering why we are being treated to flashes of him waiting for a plane that never comes. The character exists solely to fill in as a plot focal point after Stettner ran out of barbed dialogue for his two leads.

The two leads, Channing and Stiles, are spectacular. They have excellent chemistry and if The Business Of Strangers had been allowed to focus on just the two of them then it might have been a more interesting story, albeit one better suited to the stage than the screen.

I'll say this for Stettner, his first full-length script is an ambitious one, filled with psychosexual head games on par with Neil Labute. What Stettner lacks is an interesting narrative, a story that lets the audience in on the characters motivations. You don't have to lead the audience like a dog on a leash, but the characters need to have some reason to be doing what it is they are doing. Channing and Stiles rock, but the story does their performances a disservice and keeps the film as a whole from meeting its potential.

Movie Review Life or Something Like It

Life or Something Like It (2002) 

Directed by Stephen Herek, 

Written by Dana Stevens

Starring Angelina Jolie, Edward Burns, Stockard Channing, Tony Shalhoub 

Release Date April 29th, 2002 

Published April 29th, 2002  

It seems there is a new Angelina Jolie story every week. Whether it's making out with her brother, entering into an ill-advised marriage or feuding with her celebrity father Jon Voight, Angelina Jolie can't do anything without making the papers. One is left to wonder, when will Jolie's movies become as notable as her personal life? Her latest work, Life or Something Like It, is another step in the wrong direction, a film only notable for the fact that it is worse than her last film.

Life finds Angelina Jolie under a poorly fitting blonde wig as Lanie Kerrigan, a TV features reporter at a Seattle TV station. Like any conventional movie character Lanie has it all, looks, money and a wealthy baseball star boyfriend. Indeed life is perfect, until her boss reteams her with her ex-boyfriend, a cameraman named Pete (Edward Burns). Lanie and Pete had some sort of previous relationship though the film is unclear about what exactly happened, we do know they don't like each other, which in movie parlance means they will end up together. (That, by the way, is not a spoiler. If you didn't know they were ending up together please purchase my book Romantic Comedies for Dummies).

Lanie and Pete argue and fight until they do a story about a street performer who some believe can tell the future. Tony Shalhoub plays Prophet Jack who tells Lanie she has only a week to live. Lanie does the only thing any rational person could do in that situation, she believes him. If a crazy homeless guy told you that you were going to die of course you would believe him, right?. From there the film devolves into your typical romantic comedy cliches without providing one original moment.

I can't say I was disappointed in Life Or Something Like It, going in I knew what I was seeing. I had hoped that an actress of Angelina Jolie's talent could provide a more interesting performance even in such a conventional romantic comedy. She doesn't. And what of Edward Burns, wasn't this guy supposed to be something special? Since his debut in the surprisingly good Brothers McMullan, Burns had been hailed as the next Woody Allen. He has yet to show the talent that was expected of him.

Director Stephen Herek, who's RockStar has become a guilty pleasure movie for me, returns to his genre safe work that helped ruin Eddie Murphy's career (Holy Man). Herek has the same lame crowd-pleasing instincts that mark the worst Hollywood hacks. Nothing challenging, nothing different, everything safely market tested for proper effectiveness. Honestly this kind of filmmaking turns my stomach.

Say what you will but I am tired of this cookie cutter Hollywood swill like Life Or Something Like It. I realize that not every film can be a genre buster but shouldn't every movie aspire to something other than just box office?