Movie Review Kingsman The Golden Circle

Kingsman The Golden Circle (2017)

Directed by Matthew Vaughn 

Written by Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn 

Starring Taron Egerton, Julianne Moore, Colin Firth, Mark Strong, Halle Berry, Channing Tatum, Jeff Bridges

Release Date September 22nd, 2017 

Published September 21st, 2017 

Kingsman: The Secret Service was a not particularly inventive rehash of Mark Millar’s previously adapted work, Kick-Ass. The derivative spy take on the same tropes of the super-hero send-up bored me endlessly with its nihilistic approach to James Bond minus the strange wit of Kick-Ass, which shared not just creator Millar but also director Matthew Vaughn, who couldn’t help but seem to rip off his own work in a lazy rehash.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle, thankfully, is not Kick-Ass 2. That sequel was a massive letdown that quickly destroyed the goodwill carried over from the inventive original film. Here, with The Golden Circle we have the opposite effect. Considering that they had nowhere to go but up following The Secret Service, Kingsman: The Golden Circle has the wit, charm, and fun that the original was lacking, minus the nihilistic violence that was so out of place in the first film. Don’t get me wrong, there are still gruesome elements but nothing that approaches the overrated church shootout of Kingsman 1.

Eggsy (Taron Edgerton) is still living with the loss of his mentor, Harry (Colin Firth), as we join the story of Kingsman: The Golden Circle. His time to mourn, however, is quickly cut short as the film dives into a spectacular car chase to open The Golden Circle. Though it is showy and rather pointless to the plot, the chase is undeniably spectacular with Edgerton battling it out inside of a cab with a former Kingsman recruit who is now working for the bad guys and is part robot.

The bad guy in Kingsman: The Golden Circle is actually a bad lady played by Julianne Moore. Poppy, Moore’s character, is a drug dealer who hopes to use her illicit products to hold the world hostage. Meanwhile, she’s also found a way to take the Kingsmen out of the game by blowing up all of their headquarters around the globe and killing several of Eggsy’s close friends, while he happens to be out of the country.

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal. 

Movie Review Empire of Light

Empire of Light (2022) 

Directed by Sam Mendes 

Written by Sam Mendes 

Starring Olivia Coleman, Michael Ward, Colin Firth, Toby Jones, Tom Brooke 

Release Date December 9th, 2022 

Empire of Light stars Olivia Coleman as Hilary Small, a cinema employee in a seaside English town. Hilary's life is a drab routine of taking tickets and having sex with her married boss, Mr. Ellis (Colin Firth), though he has no plans to leave his wife. Hilary's life is changed forever with the arrival of a new employee at the cinema. Stephen (Michael Ward) is a handsome young man whom Hilary instantly falls in lust with. However, since he's so young, she assumes he will have more interest in one of her younger co-workers. 

Much to her surprise, Michael takes to Hilary right away. The two have a terrific conversation which lead to Hilary showing Michael her favorite secret spot in the Cinema. The gorgeous art-deco cinema used to have more than 2 screens. A third screening area, which also included a dance floor and lounge, has been left to rot. Hilary likes to go there and smell the sea air from the lounge seats. It's also become a de-facto smoking spot for the employees. 

At first, the banter between Hilary and Stephen is just friendly but it soon takes on a flirtatious air. As their bond deepens via their conversations, Hilary gains the courage to stand up to Mr. Ellis and end their affair. This however, is a tenuous decision as Hilary harbors a dark secret. Mr. Ellis brought Hilary back after she had a mental breakdown a year ago. He's essentially her sponsor, the reason she's able to work and not be in a hospital. 

The burgeoning romance between Hilary and Michael is threatened as Hilary's mental illness returns to the fore and her relationship with Mr. Ellis sours further. Meanwhile, the cinema has earned a remarkable opportunity. The cinema will play host to the premiere of the movie Chariots of Fire, a film that went on to win the Academy Award for Best Picture in 1981. The premiere will be attended by celebrities and politicians and would be a huge boost for business. 

Meanwhile, in the background, racial issues are also coming to the fore. Hilary witnesses Michael being harassed by skinheads, his life threatened. Later, a race riot breaks out and Michael's life is once again placed in peril as is the cinema itself which gets caught up in the brief, violent white nationalist uprising. It seems that even society itself is conspiring to keep Michael and Hilary from being together. The dramatic crux then of Empire of Light is whether or not the central couple can overcome the personal and societal roadblocks in front of their unlikely romance. 

Olivia Coleman is a radiant actress of limitless talent. That said, the part of Hilary is a tad broad and leans into an actors worst instincts. Director Alan Ball allows a little too much room for Hilary's mental illness to be played broadly. A scene where Hilary has fully reached the end of her rope goes off the rails and Coleman's hysterics in the scene don't feel legitimate, they play like someone's broad idea of a mental breakdown. 

Hilary's mental illness and the raging racial tensions that also play throughout Empire of Light don't work well together. They feel like two different movies grated together. Then there is an overarching notion of the magic of the movies which has promise but never really gains momentum. A big part of the movie unfolds when Hilary actually takes the opportunity to watch a movie and has a very special experience. This feels completely apart from the rest of the movie as well. The choice of movie is perhaps meaningful, but the idea is underdeveloped. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media. 

Movie Review: A Christmas Carol

A Christmas Carol (2009) 

Directed by Robert Zemeckis

Written by Robert Zemeckis 

Starring Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Bob Hoskins, Robin Wright, Carey Elwes

Release Date November 6th, 2009 

Published November 5th, 2009

Words associated with Robert Zemeckis's endeavor into CGI, Motion Capture and Digital 3D: Groundbreaking, lifelike, extraordinary, creepy, scary, goofy, rubbery. Opinions have varied on the success of the now three films that Mr. Zemeckis has crafted with his unique technical skills and toys. The Polar Express was magical in story but creepy in rendering. Beowulf was masterful in many technical aspects and still skin-crawlingly awkward in others. Now comes A Christmas Carol and again opinions vary.

Charles Dickens' legendary tale of skinflint turned softy Ebenezer Scrooge is among the most famous holiday tales ever told. There are numerous adaptations featuring as varied a group of players as Kelsey Grammar, Bill Murray even the Muppets who have given life to Scrooge over the years since Dickens popularized the concept of karmic retribution for lack of being charitable. Disney turned him into a duck. Children, even today, can recite the basics of the story from memory.

On Christmas Day the miserly Ebenezer Scrooge is visited by the ghost of his late business partner Jakob Marley. He is told that he will be visited by three ghosts. Indeed, haunted he is by the ghosts Christmas past, present and future. Each offers a lesson to Scrooge that if he does not change his miserly ways he will not be mourned by anyone, he will die penniless and alone. Reformed by this experience, Scrooge buys a giant Christmas goose for his longtime, terribly put upon assistant, Bob Cratchit and pays the medical bills of Bob's son Tiny Tim. Scrooge also, finally, attends the Christmas of his loving, kind nephew Fred. 

Dickens' tale is brilliant in its simplicity. But, why bring A Christmas Carol back again? According to Director Zemeckis it was one of his favorite stories of all time. All well and good but does his love justify yet another take on this oft told tale? No, frankly. Especially since Zemeckis brings no new insights to the story. Jim Carrey's Scrooge is faithful to a fault and leaves one to wonder: who hires Jim Carrey and binds him to a character so thoroughly that no wacky schtick can escape?

There is hardly a whisper of whimsy or moment of mugging mirth. Why bother hooking Carrey's well known face up to all that mo-cap technology when you have restrained him so tightly to such a dark, draconian character. Even in Scrooge's happy turn in the end Carrey remains restrained, allowing only for a smile and a brief jig. No actor wants to be shackled to a persona but Jim Carrey is JIM CARREY, his persona overwhelms the notion that he can simply be plugged into a character and have audiences simply accept a straightforward, non Carrey-like performance. 

A Christmas Tale lacks life or any form of whimsy whatsoever and that is not something that works for an animated film the animated spirit is greatly lacking. The one thing it seems that Robert Zemeckis has brought to A Christmas Carol is a dark vision of Dickens' dark words. Dickens' imagery has always been of the nightmare variety, this version of A Christmas Carol captures that vision with frightful faith. I would warn against taking children younger than 13 to this film.

That makes this version of A Christmas Carol more of an adult feature and that would seem to defeat the purpose of the adaptation and animation. This should be a story for kids but parents who take young kids will only come away with frightened youngsters. Sure, their is the happy ending to salve the wounds but many parents and kids will not make it that far.

Far too scary for young children and too well worn for adults, this version of A Christmas Carol seems at a loss to justify its existence. Why another take on this story? Was it just an exercise of the technology? A chance to be faithful to the dark images of Dickens that many adaptations had softened? I cannot tell you and I wonder if Mr. Zemeckis could either.

Movie Review Mamma Mia

Mamma Mia (2008) 

Directed by Phyllida Lloyd 

Written by Catherine Johnson 

Starring Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried, Stellan Skarsgard, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan

Release Date July 18th, 2008 

Published July 17th, 2008

I have to confess an odd affinity for the music of Abba. The safe, uncalculating earnestness of their disco pop is a pleasant little distraction on occasion. Spike Lee even managed to turn Dancing Queen into a powerful expression of the times when he used it to evoke the synthetic happiness of the late seventies in his underappreciated epic Summer of Sam.

Broadway show tuner Phyllida Lloyd captured perfectly the jaunty, uncomplicatedness of Abba's music when she brought Mamma Mia to the stage in 2005. Even the Tony's sat up and took notice. Now Lloyd has brought the superfluous fun of arguably disco's finest ambassador's (Sorry Bee Gees fans) to the big screen.

Mamma Mia stars Meryl Streep as Donna Sheridan, a former disco queen turned hotelier. Donna runs a hotel on the coast of the Adriatic that draws the bare minimum of tourists. Her most urgent project is getting the place fixed up for her daughter Sophie's wedding. Sophie has a big surprise in order for mom. While mom is welcoming guests, including her former singing pals Tonya (Christine Baranski) and Rosie (Julie Walters), Sophie is welcoming three surprise guests, each of whom is a blast from Donna's past and, more importantly, each may be Sophie's dad.

Colin Firth plays Harry with his typical British neurotic energy. Stellan Skarsgard is Bill, a globe -trotting journalist going with the free spirited flow at all times. And Pierce Brosnan is Sam, a rich guy who quickly figures out what is going on and comes to assume that he is Sophie's dad and that after all these many, many years, he is still in love with Donna.

That makes a good straight forward plot. However, Mamma Mia is far from straight. I mean straight forward. Sorry. Because the music of Abba serves as the inspiration for Mamma Mia the songs of Sweden's number one entertainment source are jammed into every corner and only some willingly adhere to the story being told.

Making things even more complicated than trying to shoehorn so much music into the movie, is the fact that the stars sing for themselves and most aren't great. Meryl Streep is good, Christine Baranski is better and Julie Walters can carry a tune but the boys are completely overmatched.

Pierce Brosnan is outright brutal as he attempts a duet with Streep. Firth and Skarsgard are equally unlistenable. They are saved, a little bit, by the massive production numbers that accompany the song and give them light and energy. A Lot of Mamma Mia is capable of skating on good intentional and the sheer willful intent to entertain.

Mamma Mia is undeniably fun and frothy. That said, if you don't love Abba you won't love this movie. It's a musical with nothing but Abba tunes. Tunes are jammed into scenes just for the fact that they are Abba tunes and regardless of whether they belong in the story. If you aren't a fan there is nothing here to appeal to you.

Jaunty and energetic in its bizarre way, Mamma Mia is a fans only entertainment that will preach well to the converted and leave the rest in the cold.

Movie Review Love Actually

Love, Actually 2003 

Directed by Richard Curtis

Written by Richard Curtis 

Starring Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Keira Knightley

Release Date November 7th, 2003 

Published November 4th, 2003 

In Hollywood, the romantic comedy has been beaten to death by clichés and predictable, cookie-cutter plotting. For fans of the genre, our only solace comes when Working Title Films out of Britain releases yet another ingeniously witty, romantic comedy written by Richard Curtis. The man wrote Four Weddings and A Funeral and Notting Hill, and adapted the screenplay for Bridget Jones's Diary. Now, stepping behind the camera for the first time, Curtis shows he could be an industry all to himself writing and directing hit romantic comedies forever. His seemingly endless wit is once again on display in Love Actually, an epic romance if only for the names in its cast.

There are so many different actors and plots in Love Actuallythat it's difficult to condense, so I will lay out the best of the numerous plots individually. Hugh Grant has the best part as the newly-elected British Prime Minister. The film is set apparently sometime in the near future and there are some very funny moments where the script takes loving shots at current real-life Prime Minister Tony Blair. 

As the new prime minister prepares for the arrival of the American President, he begins a flirtation with his tea server Natalie (newcomer Martine McCutcheon). Curtis does an excellent job in balancing the job of prime minister with the script’s flights of romantic fantasy. When the American President arrives, a priceless cameo that I won't spoil, Grant's Prime Minister is allowed to have a point of view on world politics, especially Britain's perceived position as America's bitch, where less courageous directors would have glossed over any actual politics.

Laura Linney has another terrific part as a shy American transplant who is constantly glued to her cell phone. She is nursing a serious crush on one of her co-workers, a crush that everyone in her office from her boss (Alan Rickman) to the bitchy secretary knows about. Even the object of her affection knows about her feelings but is waiting for her to act. This subplot is bittersweet because Linney has a secret that is linked to her constantly ringing cell phone. It's another great piece of work by Linney who has long been one of my favorite actresses.

The most romantic of all the plots involves Colin Firth as a writer who moves away to France after finding his wife cheating with his brother. After moving into his French villa, he hires a maid named Aurelia (Lucia Moniz). The two have an interesting working relationship because Aurelia is Portuguese and doesn't speak a word of English. Their attempts at communicating are sweet and funny moments of misunderstanding. This plot shouldn't work but it does because of the subtle complicated work of Colin Firth. The plot is rushed and predictable but Firth is so winning you can't help but cheer for his happiness.

That is only a minor brushing of the characters in Love Actually, each of the characters I already mentioned have connections to other characters who have their own subplots. Emma Thompson plays Rickman's wife who wonders if her husband is cheating on her. Liam Neeson shows up as a widower left to raise a 10 year old stepson. Keira Knightley is a newlywed who has a secret admirer who happens to be her husband's best man. Bill Nighy plays an aging rocker, modeled on Mick Jagger, whose awful Christmas song plays throughout the film. The song, a holiday reworking of the pop standard “Love Is All Around '' is intentionally bad and Nighy's character freely admits it and his honesty makes the song defiantly a hit.

And there are still more plots I don't have the time or patience to describe. The cast is unwieldy but Curtis finds an almost awe-inspiring way of giving each time to develop and be resolved in ways that are satisfying and funny. Towards the end, just when you think there is no way to resolve all of these plot strands Curtis returns to a piece of dialogue from Hugh Grant's opening voiceover and uses it to unite the entire cast and make a grand point about the nature of love and life. It's a work of subtle brilliance that will cause audience members to leave the theater smiling at the conclusion of the film.

This is a wonderfully exuberant film filled with music, love, and romance that is never saccharine. That wonderful British wit is always in place and keeps the plot from spilling over into super sweetness. Something about the British accent that makes even the most wildly over-the-top flights of fancy seem smart and meaningful. This is one excellent romantic comedy from the last group of producers, director, and actors that can do it right.

Movie Review: Bridget Jones The Edge of Reason

Bridget Jones The Edge of Reason (2004) 

Directed by Beeban Kidron

Written by Adam Brooks, Richard Curtis, Andrew Davies, Helen Fielding 

Starring Renee Zellweger, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Jim Broadbent, Gemma Jones 

Release Date November 12th, 2004

Published November 11th, 2004 

When Renee Zellweger was announced to play British singleton icon Bridget Jones from the enormously successful book by Helen Fielding, the reaction was less than exciting for fans of the book. How could an American actress, from Texas no less, capture this essentially British character. Amazingly, not only did she pull off the accent and some serious weight gain, Zellweger went on to be nominated for an Oscar, a remarkable feat for a comic performance.

With that much success it is no surprise that there is now a sequel, it's also no surprise that that sequel is not quite as good as the original. It's called sequelitis and no matter how good the original film may be, few sequels can escape the sequel curse.

It's been five terrific weeks since Bridget Jones (Zellweger) landed the man of her dreams Mark Darcy (Colin Firth). Five weeks, 35 glorious days, 70 spectacular shags. However, in every passionate relationship, eventually; you have to get out of bed and when Bridget and Mark finally get up and get dressed the problems begin.

At first it's little things like Mark's need to fold his underwear or his insistence that she quit smoking. Soon, it's bigger problems like Mark's stodgy stuck up lawyer friends and his surprisingly conservative politics. Then it's Mark's new assistant a leggy, gorgeous, 22 year old named Rebecca (rising star Jascinda Barrett).

Bridget's circle of friends, Shazzer (Sally Phillips), Tom (James Callis) and Jude (Shirley Henderson), certainly don't help matters by fueling her paranoia over Mark's new assistant. While Bridget's only married friend Janey (Lucy Robinson) raises questions about why Mark hasn't asked her to marry him. Then there are Bridget's wacky parents, flighty Mom (Shirley Dixon) and put upon Dad (Jim Broadbent), who shock Bridget by announcing they are renewing their marriage vows.

Finally one last big obstacle for Bridget and Mark comes from Bridget's job where, as a reporter for Sit Up Britain, she has become a celebrity for smiling her way through one humiliation after another. This leads to a big promotion but one big complication. Bridget will co-host a travel show that will take her all over the world but her co-host is her former boss, and lecherous boyfriend, Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant).

That is the bare bones set up; but the plot in reality is contrived and episodic. Four writers including novelist and creator Helen Fielding, director Beeban Kidron, romantic comedy genius Richard Curtis (Love Actually,Four Weddings and a Funeral) and Adam Brooks, another rom-com vet who wrote this years charming tennis movie Wimbledon, all combine to give the film that to many cooks in the kitchen feeling. A lot of conflicting ideas come together to create a mishmash of good and not so good scenes. The final product is something that might make for a good sitcom but not a great movie.

Fortunately these writers are blessed with a cast that is to die for. Renee Zellweger is once again her Oscar-worthy self. Patterning her performance after Lucille Ball and the gals from Sex and The City Zellweger combines physical comedy with a terrific ability to win our hearts she makes this lackadaisical story and script work, to a point, because no matter what we absolutely love her.

For his part Colin Firth is likable but as his role is written he is somewhat hamstrung. His character is stuffy and rigid with little spontaneity. Opposite Zellweger's bubbly Bridget he looks even more stiff than he's written. Firth does what he can with the role but for the most part he is pushed along by the plot. Hugh Grant also suffers somewhat from plot manipulation but his charm and razor sharp wit make even his most strained moments work. The final fight scene between Firth and Grant is terrifically funny for the awful way the actors carry it off.

Fans of Renee Zellweger will find lots to love in Bridget Jones: The Edge Of Reason as will faithful fans of the book. For the uninitiated though the film will feel disjointed and overlong. The characters are often ridiculously lost and befuddled which leads to much audience confusion until the end when predictability and a touch of schmaltz rule the day.

Where the original felt fresh and vibrant this sequel is rote and simplistic. The various attempts at salvaging it by bringing on a different writer only served to muddy the waters. All of this seems like it may have been to much for first time director Beeban Kidron. The director often seems as overwhelmed by problems as Bridget herself and the only way out was to stick close to sitcomic formula.

Even with all that goes wrong I would not mind another Bridget sequel and I'm sure I'm not alone. Edge Of Reason does not fail because of Bridget the character who remains wildly, lovably, daft and it only benefits from Renee Zellweger's portrayal. It is the developments behind the scenes, the direction and scripting that went awry. Fix the script and keep the characters and you may just have another funny story to tell in the next Bridget Jones adventure.

Movie Review Girl With a Pearl Earring

Girl with a Pearl Earring (2004) 

Directed by Peter Webber 

Written by Olivia Hetreed 

Starring Scarlett Johansson, Colin Firth, Tom Wilkinson, Cillian Murphy, Essie Davis 

Release Date January 16th, 2004 

Published January 15th, 2004 

A surprising amount of information is known about master painter Johannes Vermeer. He was born, raised, and lived his entire life in Delft in the Netherlands. He married in 1653, had 12 children and created 35 works of art that have managed to survive to this day. His most well-known and well-regarded painting is The Girl With A Pearl Earring. The film inspired by that painting is a fictionalized account of the life of the girl who inspired the masterwork.

Scarlett Johannsen stars as Griet, a handmaiden sent to work in the home of the artist Vermeer played by Colin Firth. The master painter has gained a good reputation and the unending regard of a wealthy patron Van Ruijven (Tom Wilkinson). It is Van Ruijven that makes Vermeer and his family's lifestyle possible by buying each of his paintings. It's not a perfect relationship; Van Ruijven is troubled by the length of time it takes the artist to complete his work, and Vermeer is uncomfortable with his patron’s demanding commissions.

Griet comes to work for the Vermeer family and immediately catches the eye of Van Rutjien. Charged with cleaning the artist’s studio, she also catches the eye of the artist but not entirely the way you might think. The relationship between Griet and Vermeer has tension but it remains chaste for the most part. Nevertheless Vermeer's wife Catharina (Essie Davis) is endlessly suspicious of the relationship.

That relationship is stressed further when Van Ruijven commissions Vermeer to paint Griet for his private collection. Van Ruijven has a history of sleeping with Vermeer's models, a scandalous series of affairs that the painter and his family are forced to cover up from Van Ruijven's wife. Handling most of the cover up is Catharina's mother, Maria Thins (Judy Parfitt), who acted as Vermeer's agent. Griet is able to avoid the advances of Van Ruijven but her problems don't end there as her modeling must be kept from Vermeer's wife.

The drama of Girl With A Pearl Earring is somewhat thin by modern standards. In the day and age of Monica Lewinsky and the tabloid exploits of the British Royal family, social standing is a rather quaint concern. The tension between Griet and Catharina is undermined a great deal by the fragile and passionless performance by Essie Davis. Her whining about the handmaiden wearing her pearl earring doesn't register the impact that I'm sure screenwriter Olivia Hetreed intended. That may be about the writer not establishing the symbolism of the earrings, but mostly it's Davis's performance that fails the material. The performance needs a little more life and energy. 

Colin Firth also fails, but that is because he is badly miscast as Vermeer. Wearing one of the least convincing wigs of all time, Firth's very British stiff upper lip betrays the bohemian artist type he is supposed to be playing. His face is a cold mask that communicates little inner life. Firth's Vermeer takes no joy in his work, seems to live in a constant funk, and never shows the potency that was obvious in the life of the real Vermeer who turned out 35 impressive works and 12 children.

The film's bright spot is Scarlett Johannsen whose gorgeous saucer eyes communicate a rich inner life that is fascinating with no need for words. Indeed it is a mostly wordless performance; Johannsen's Griet is a silent servant who always follows orders. Things happen around her and she merely tries to do her duty without making waves. That may not sound exciting, but with Johannsen's wonderfully expressive face it is truly fascinating. Like the characters surrounding her, you desperately want to know what is going on inside her and yet she hardly says a word.

First time feature director Peter Webber, who's wife Olivia Hetreed adapted the script, makes the bold choice not to use voiceover. A bold choice because Griet, the main character, barely speaks a word. Most writers and directors would use voiceover to fill in dramatic plot points but Webber and Hetreed trust their star to communicate what is needed with her eyes and they got exactly what they needed from Johannsen.

This is Johannsen's second star-making performance in less than 12 months--the first was an even better performance in Lost In Translation. This is both a career blessing and a curse. A blessing because few actresses get the opportunity to give two terrific performances in one year, a curse because she will have to compete against herself for Oscar nominations. Either performance is deserving of recognition but her performance in Girl With A Pearl Earring is certainly more complicated because the film surrounding it isn't as good as she is.

Movie Review The Last Legion

The Last Legion (2007) 

Directed by Doug Lefler 

Written by Jez Butterworth, Tom Butterworth 

Starring Colin Firth, Ben Kingsley, Aishwarya Ray, Peter Mullan, Kevin McKidd 

Release Date August 17th, 2007 

Published August 16th, 2007 

The Last Legion is meant to be a rousing retelling of Arthurian legend crossed with Roman history. With an international cast, including Oscar winner Sir Ben Kingsley and Indian superstar Aishwarya Rai, the movie should have been a well acted and lively entertainment. Unfortunately, with a corner cutting director and a desperately miscast lead, Colin Firth as a tough guy roman general, The Last Legion is just simply, one lousy movie.

Cobbling together elements of Arthur-ian legend and a bit of Julius Caesar, The Last Legion casts young Thomas Sangster (Love Actually) as Romulus; the last in the royal line of Caesars, the rulers of the Greek empire. When the goths sack Rome, Romulus and his teacher Ambrosinus (Sir Ben Kingsley) are taken hostage to the roman island of Capri. On the bright side, Capri is also the home of the legendary Caesarian sword Excalibur.

While young Romulas seeks the sword a coterie of Roman soldiers who survived the battle of Rome conspire to rescue Caesar/Romulus and whisk him away to the Eastern empire, the home of the staunchest of Greek allies in Persia. Led by General Aurelius (Colin Firth), and backed up by an Indian warrior named Mira (Aishwarya Rai), this tiny faction will give their lives for Caesar.

After the rescue things change quickly. The Eastern empire falls to the Goths and the remaining Romans are forced to journey to Britannia and rally the last remaining Roman army legion. There, they will face off with an evil British conqueror Vortgyn (Harry Van Gorkum) who seeks Excalibur and has a nasty history with Abrosinus.

I'm not quite sure what the point of all this legend retelling is. The Last Legion is not a rousing adventure or even a good war story. As directed by Doug Lefler (Dragonheart: A New Beginning) The Last Legion is a stale period movie dressed up with the occasional well staged sword fight and the lovely appearance of Indian star Aishwarya Rai.

Ms. Rai is a lovely presence but opposite Colin Firth as the 'manly' Roman general, she is at a loss to make this material work. Nothing against Mr. Firth as an actor but he doesn't exactly cut an action hero figure. His lilting accent and gentile British-ness just does not translate to being a Russell Crowe style Roman army legend. Even the great Sir Ben Kingsley isn't very good here. Kingsley, as he's shown in films as varied as Suspect Zero, Bloodrayne, and A Sound of Thunder has a tendency to choose some really bad roles. The Last Legion isn't quite as bad as those films but it's not very good either.

Rai, Kingsley and Firth are the good guys and we are bored by them. Even worse are the bad guys, a collection of unrecognizable character actors whose main talent seems to be seething and hissing through ugly piles of makeup or ridiculous looking masks. Director Doug Lefler's work is dull and uninspired and the scripting by Jez and Tom Butterworth (Birthday Girl) creates characters we don't care about and places them in situations we aren't interested in. Toying with dueling legends, Arthur and Caesar, even literate audiences are at a loss to make sense of or even care about the history of The Last Legion.

The Last Legion re-imagines two legends into one uninteresting adventure story. Colin Firth, often a very good actor, is desperately miscast as an action hero and though she is a sensational beauty, Aishwarya Rai fails to demonstrate her star power and is at a loss to overcome this dull story. Director Doug Lefler's experience comes mostly from the sets of Xena: Warrior Princess and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and while the low budget aesthetics may be OK for TV; the same approach doesn't work in feature films.

The Last Legion is only slightly better than your average Xena or Hercules episode, and slightly less historically accurate.

Movie Review The Importance of Being Earnest

The Importance of Being Earnest (2002) 

Directed by Oliver Parker 

Written by Oliver Parker

Starring Rupert Everett, Reese Witherspoon, Colin Firth, Frances O'Connor, Dame Judi Dench

Release Date May 17th, 2002

Published May 17th, 2002 

When considering the works of Oscar Wilde one should wonder what this most quotable of writers would say of our current culture. Wilde believed that art should not be popular, and when you consider modern American cinema you might say that we have achieved Wilde's belief. Indeed art in modern American cinema is not popular. Popular as defined as gaining widespread viewership and appreciation. Think of the best filmmaking in this day and age, the most artistic works are very often the least seen. Such is the case with the most recent of Oscar Wilde's works adapted for the screen The Importance Of Being Earnest, artistically brilliant but by previous definition not popular.

The film was adapted and directed by Oliver Parker who previously adapted Wilde's An Ideal Husband to great artistic and little popular success. Parker here re-teams with his Ideal Husband star Rupert Everett, who takes the role of Algernon. One of those brilliant cads who seems to have endless charm and wit yet never a job or responsibility. Algernon's closest friend is Earnest or rather Jack depending on who he is speaking to. Earnest-Jack is played by Colin Firth as an English nobleman who keeps up the appearance of class by taking the name Earnest when in the city and the more respectable name of Jack when at his country estate. Complications arise when as Earnest he meets the woman of his dreams Gwendolyn (Frances O'Connor). Gwendolyn knows him only as Earnest and has a particular affinity for the name that makes confessing his real identity very difficult.

Back at Jack's country estate his new ward Cecily (Reese Witherspoon) is nursing a small crush on the man she only knows as Jack, that is until a visit from Algernon. Of course this too has complications as Jack has warned Algernon to stay away from the country house and especially Cecily. So while Jack is in the city trying to win the hand of Gwendolyn, Algernon travels to the country to meet Cecily. Of course he cannot go as Algernon because the staff would send him away so HE takes on the name Earnest and poses as Jack's brother. Meanwhile Jack as Earnest is trying to convince Gwendolyn's mother Lady Bracknell (Dame Judi Dench) that he is of proper breeding to marry her daughter. Unfortunately his family history is conspicuous at best.

Well everyone knows where this story is going as similar more recent stories have populated films for years. With Oscar Wilde it is never about where the story is going but how it gets there. Getting there in a Wilde story is all about witty repartee and The Importance of Being Earnest overflows with quotable dialogue and farce. Dame Judi Dench especially gets on with the witty dialogue, it seems every line from her character is memorable. Indeed each character's dialogue is so good the story becomes superfluous.

Director Oliver Parker perfectly captures the spirit of Wilde's text, just as he did in An Ideal Husband and he surprisingly tops that film’s sly humor. The performances by Colin Firth and Rupert Everett are superb, especially Everett who seems to have been born for this material. Reese Witherspoon puts on a strong English accent and wears it well. She has a couple of brilliant scenes with Frances O'Conner, likely the funniest in the film.

If I had any complaints about the film they would be that the story goes beyond meaningless. There really is no meaning in the film whatsoever, which may actually have been Wilde's aim, but it strikes a false chord. In fact at the very end of the film Wilde's dialogue calls the whole film’s story into question with a subtle reference to the film’s title that implied an entirely different story altogether. To explain it would ruin the surprise, but it was a reference that in Wilde's time was a scandalous aside despite now having less meaning and impact. See it for yourself if you can figure out the meaning let me know.