Horror in the 90s Misery

Misery (1993) 

Directed by Rob Reiner 

Written by William Goldman 

Starring James Caan, Kathy Bates 

Release Date November 30th, 1990 

Box Office $61.3 million 

The first images seen on screen in Misery are utterly meaningless. A Lucky Strike cigarette, unlit, an empty champagne glass, and a bottle of Champagne. Visually, you can read into this a celebration about to occur. Indeed, the subject of Misery, writer Paul Sheldon, played by James Caan, is about to finishing typing the final words of his final novel featuring the character Misery Chastain. Paul has decided to end his highly successful franchise and the opening visuals of the movie are an indication of the celebratory nature of this decision. 

But what do these images foreshadow for the remainder of the story? Nothing really. Paul Sheldon will soon be involved in a car wreck. He will be rescued by someone who just happens to be 'his biggest fan.' Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates), the fan, finds his novel and is none too pleased to find that her favorite book character is being killed off. Thus, she sets to set the author straight. She will hold him captive and torture him in order to get him to write a different, happier book, one more fitting her vision of Misery Chastain as her favorite book character. 

In the context of a novel, it's very clear that Stephen King is commenting upon the fickle nature of readers and their relationship to authors. King, whether he openly acknowledged it or not, was truly writing about having been pigeonholed and seemingly forced to write to the tastes of his readers rather than to what spoke to him as an author and artist. That subtext is underlined in the novel form. As a movie, it doesn't resonate quite as much. We can get a sense of the commentary occurring, but this is a movie, not a novel, moreover it's an adaptation of Stephen King and not King himself sub textually crying out at his audience to let him choose his subjects. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret

Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret (2023) 

Directed by Kelly Fremon Craig

Written by Kelly Fremon Craig

Starring Rachel McAdams, Kathy Bates, Abby Ryder Fortson, Benny Safdie 

Release Date April 28th, 2023

Published May 2nd, 2023 

So, I didn't get the memo regarding Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret. Having missed my critics screening a few weeks ago, I saw the film at a public screening, unaware of my apparent massive faux pas. After having watched and enjoyed this lovely, sweet, funny coming of age story, I was informed that a woman at my screening had complained that a 'Creep' had attended the screening. Said 'Creep' was me. Being a single man seeing the film alone and sitting in the only available seat in the front row, I had been identified as a creep. 

Upon reflection, I guess I understand. This is a movie about a young woman discovering her body for the first time as she comes of age as a woman. Why would this appeal to a single man is not an unreasonable question. I will admit, the subject matter is not relatable to my experience. That said, I would think that encouraging men to see a movie with this kind of sensitivity and understanding toward the experiences of young women is not a bad thing. In fact, if more men gave a movie like this a chance, it might help them understand their partners, mothers, sisters and daughters a little more. 

Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret, awkwardly but sweetly illustrates the kinds of things that young women experience but don't like talking about, especially with the men in their lives. But it's also a movie that invites you to try and understand the struggle of young women and that's valuable information for everyone. It's especially valuable when the story is this well told. Writer-Director Kelly Fremon Craig has crafted a warm, sensitive, unrelenting story of teenage womanhood, a story filled with humor and charm. 

Abby Ryder Fortson stars as Margaret, a 12 year old girl who has just learned that she's leaving her home in New York City for the suburbs of New Jersey. It's a jarring shift in geography as it means changing schools and losing touch with friends. Worst of all, it means being separated from Margaret's beloved grandma, Sylvia (Kathy Bates), a rock and a fount of humor and wisdom that is an irreplaceable part of young Margaret's existence. Nevertheless, they will have to get by with daily phone calls and a few weekend bus trips to the big city. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.media

Movie Review The Day the Earth Stood Still

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008) 

Directed by Scott Derrickson

Written by David Scarpa

Starring Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Jaden Smith, Jon Hamm, Kathy Bates, Kyle Chandler

Release Date December 12th, 2008

Published December 12th, 2008

My fellow critics are being far too hard on the remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still starring Keanu Reeves and Jennifer Connelly. Maybe it's fond memories of the 1951 Robert Wise original or maybe they are just grumpy, but my fellow critics have come out hard against this movie and I think they are overreacting. I will stipulate that from the standards of a traditional good movie vs bad movie standard The Day The Earth Stood Still is a bad movie. On the other hand, I think all of us knew that going in.

Keanu Reeves stars in The Day The Earth Stood Still as Klaatu, an alien from some unnamed universe collective. He has come to rescue the earth. From whom you might wonder. Autobots and Decepticons? No. The Borg Collective? No. Gremlins? No. No Klaatu is here to save the earth from you. You and me and your brother, mother, sister and cousin. Yes, humanity is a threat to the planet and if you can't pull that metaphor out of thin air, you really need to pick up a freakin' newspaper.

For the supremely dull, The Day The Earth Stood Still is an environmentalist parable. Humans are poisoning the planet and Klaatu is here to rescue it and the non-human inhabitants that are the earth's real friends. Standing in Klaatu's way is scientist Helen Benson (Jennifer Connelly). Well she isn't physically standing in his way but she does appoint herself the savior by trying to reason with the killer alien.

Helen and her supremely irritating son Jacob (Jaden 'Big Willie's kid' Smith) team up to show Klaatu that humanity can change, learn lessons and maybe stop killing the planet. All we need is a wake up call. How about the destruction of most of the eastern seaboard?

Kathy Bates, Jon Hamm and Kyle Chandler round out the rest of the main cast in inconsequential roles. Then again, there is little of consequence in the whole of The Day The Earth Stood Still. Which brings me to my central thesis. Despite the environmental parable, at its heart The Day The Earth Stood Still is not a message movie. This is pure popcorn entertainment. Director Scott Derrickson gets it. He focuses great attention on the special effects which even the most ardent haters admit are pretty cool. The tiny metal bugs that begin eating humanity are badass effects and that truck eating scene. Very Cool.

So what if the metaphor is obvious and Keanu is a total cheeseball and that the film is more blatant about cross promotion than your average commercial TV broadcast, we knew walking into this movie that great art was not in our future. What The Day The Earth Stood Still was meant to deliver and what it does deliver are eye catching effects and some unintentional humor. We got those things in spades. I laughed throughout and left the theater with a big smile on my face. This goofball, popcorn blockbuster is fast paced, fun and the effects are dynamite. To expect this movie to treat serious topics with serious intent is a fool's errand.

You walk in knowing this is a big dumb movie and that is part of what you get. You also get a kick out of just how big and dumb the movie is. The filmmakers may not have meant to make me laugh and my smile at the end may have been somewhat ironic but so what. I truly enjoyed the experience of The Day The Earth Stood Still. How could I not recommend to you such a good time movie.

Movie Review Revolutionary Road

Revolutionary Road (2008) 

Directed by Sam Mendes 

Written by Justin Haythe 

Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Kathy Bates, Michael Shannon

Release Date December 26th, 2008

Published December 25th, 2008 

I am beginning to wonder if director Sam Mendes is really just M. Night Shyamalan with neuroses. The career correlatives are compelling. They broke out together in 1999 with a pair of at least slightly overrated Oscar nominees, American Beauty and The Sixth Sense, and have ever since delivered diminishing returns.

Both directors are self consciously arty and humorless about their work. However, Mendes has yet to deliver something as career devastatingly bad as The Happening. Unlike Shyamalan's latest, Mendes' Revolutionary Road is merely bad, not a trainwreck.

Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio, our Titanic dream couple, are all growed up and sad as suburbanites Frank and April Wheeler. I call them suburbanites but Frank and April would chafe at such a label. No, despite the manicured lawn, lacquered grinning neighbors, and 2.0 kids, Frank and April are above the title suburbanite.

Or so they believe. One day, when April takes out the garbage and see's rows and rows of the exact same garbage cans on her street, she realizes that she is no different than the average, white wine in the afternoon suburban mommy. This desperate revelation inspires a wild idea for Frank's upcoming 30th birthday.

April wants to move to Paris. There, she will work and Frank can pursue himself, find whatever it is that he is. Too bad for April that Frank has given up their petty dreams and found himself a comfortable rut selling whatever a Knox 500 is. Though he initially goes along with April's wacky scheme, we know he is just playing the part of supportive husband.

We know from the beginning of Frank and April's blissful 'we're moving to Paris' phase that the rug will be pulled out from under them, the question becomes how. The answer is dramatic but also slightly inert. If you can't see where this is all heading, you're really not trying.

It's not that Revolutionary Road is devastatingly predictable. Rather, it is the way in which it is predictable. The choices that unfold and the way they unfold feel duly preconceived though we sense they are supposed to be tragic or moving. Each scene is pushily meant to symbolize Frank and April's alienation but each lingers on the point far past necessity.

Revolutionary Road is one of those films that feigns depth by dramatically being all things to all viewers. If you want to read anti-feminism or even misogyny into the work, you can. If you want to read the same suburban misanthropy of Mendes's American Beauty in Revolutionary Road, you can.

You can take individual scenes and characters and spin them off in wild, fictive fantasies of meaning and depth and the film can match whatever emotionally resonant thing you seek. For me, it all seemed an aimless mélange of sadness that relies heavily on stars Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet and Oscar nominee Michael Shannon to give it any meaning whatsoever.

That each of these talented actors come close to delivering through the murk of Revolutionary Road is quite a feat. Winslet especially is swimming upstream as this irrational flibbertigibbet who could set the women's movement back 20 or 30 years with the power of her suburban angst.

DiCaprio is the most comfortable in his role. With his baby fat pudge evading his man-boy status without him having to say a word, DiCaprio settles in to delve deeply into Frank's fears and desires and nearly makes it all work. If only what was surrounding him weren't so aimless.

Finally there is Michael Shannon who earns every inch of his Oscar nomination. You can debate the necessity of his character. You can fairly question his role as that of a creative device employed to craft tension but you cannot deny his intensity and resonant power. In just three scenes, Shannon devastates and exits in unforgettable fashion.

Give Sam Mendes this, like his counterpart Mr. Shyamalan, his failures are memorable. Revolutionary Road unquestionably fails but it does so in ways that you will remember and discuss long after the film is over.

Movie Review: Failure to Launch

Failure to Launch (2006) 

Directed by Tom Dey 

Written by Matt Ember

Starring Matthew McConaughey, Sarah Jessica Parker, Terry Bradshaw, Kathy Bates, Zoey Deschanel

Release Date February 10th, 2006 

Published February 10th, 2006

To buy into the premise of the new romantic comedy Failure To Launch you have to be willing to believe that there are so many men over the age of 30 still living with their parents that a woman could start a profitable business helping parents get rid of them. I just did not buy it and, thus, I felt that Failure To Launch was a failure in making sense.

Sarah Jessica Parker stars as Paula, an expert in removing deadbeats from mom and dad's house. She is hired by the parents of Tripp (Matthew McConaughey) who, despite having a good job selling boats for a living, driving a Porsche, and having his pick of beautiful women, still lives with his mom and dad, played by Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw.

Paula’s method for dealing with these momma's boy losers is to pretend to be the guy's girlfriend, build their self esteem in a simulated relationship and urge the men to get out on their own if they want to keep her. Once they are out of mom and dad's place, she dumps them. If you think that sounds ludicrous and, potentially, a little cruel this movie may not be for you.

Essentially, the premise of Failure To Launch is too stupid to support the movie. Things are not helped by the film's many diversions to goofy supporting characters like Paula’s roommate, Kit, played by Zooey Deschanel. Kit drinks constantly and, for some reason, is plagued by a bird that she chooses to hunt with the help of one of Tripp’s friends, played by Justin Bartha. The film gives ample screentime to this bizarre subplot, which has nothing to do with the main romance.

Then there are the animal attacks. For some strange, inexplicable reason Failure to Launch director Tom Dey thinks it is hysterically funny to have a character repeatedly attacked by various animals. A small chipmunk, a bottlenose dolphin and a small vegetarian lizard each randomly attack Tripp in what his buddy Demo (Bradley Cooper) says is nature punishing Tripp for his unnatural lifestyle. If you find these scenes funny you are on a very different wavelength than me.

I get that romantic comedies are often absurd from conception. Pretty Woman posited the lovely Julia Roberts as a grungy L.A prostitute. While You Were Sleeping pushed Sandra Bullock as the fake wife of a coma patient and one of my recent favorites, 50 First Dates, had Drew Barrymore as a woman with a severe short-term memory loss.  That was not the absurd part--finding Adam Sandler memorable enough to fall for, that was absurd.

So I get that logic, reason. and even coherence are not the strengths of this genre. Abandoning these things for a moment to evaluate Failure To Launch on its own terms I will admit that both McConaughey and Parker strike a likable chord. They spark well together in romantic scenes and give off the air of a loving couple even as the film spins out of control.

However the film is too out of control for my taste. Again I return to Deschanel's Kit whose fight with an obnoxious mockingbird interrupts the film's romantic plot once too often. A bizarre example is a scene set in a sporting-goods store where Kit attempts to buy a shotgun and is mistaken by the store clerk (the Daily Show's Rob Corddry in an unnecessary cameo) as someone contemplating suicide. The scene goes on for three or four minutes with this misunderstanding. Why this scene exists only director Tom Dey knows for sure.

Then there is the ending which undoes much of the good work that McConaughey and Parker do by making both look nearly as foolish as the rest of the film. The film plays on one of my movie pet peeves--the argument that would be solved if the characters simply spoke to one another. Tripp and Paula's romantic trouble could be solved with one easy conversation. Instead, the film pushes them together in an elaborately comic fashion, where neither is willing to say the few words that could solve the problem.

And only in a film this absurd could this important conversation be broadcast over the internet so all of the supporting players and more than a few extras can watch and cheer along their friends. One gets the sense that moments like these would work better as parody of romantic comedies and not as a sincere romance. The comedy of Failure To Launch seems designed like another take on what The 40 Year Virgin accomplished last year. A sweet-natured examination of arrested development with broad comic intentions specifically designed for the talents of comic actors accustomed to such material.

The actors involved in Failure To Launch, aside from the oddly well-suited Terry Bradshaw, are too straight laced and earnest for this expansively comic material. Both Parker and McConaughey have cultivated screen personas that make money playing real romance, not broadly comic slapstick with a hint of romance, ala Adam Sandler or Steve Carell.

With a pair of terrific lead actors there was certainly potential for Failure To Launch. But, doomed by an absurd premise better suited to the broad comic talents , Failure To Launch is an out-of-control mess of a film, distracted by its own precious idea of what is funny.

Movie Review The Blind Side

The Blind Side (2009) 

Directed by John Lee Hancock

Written by John Lee Hancock 

Starring Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, Quinton Aaron, Lily Collins, Kim Dickens, Kathy Bates

Release Date November 20th, 2009 

Published November 19th, 2009 

Until this past summer and the hit comedy "The Proposal" Sandra Bullock had been wandering in the woods in Hollywood. Now, after her summer blockbuster and despite the disastrous shelf-dweller “All About Steve,” Sandra Bullock is back on top in a big way with “The Blind Side.” Starring as the matriarch of one exceptionally compassionate family, Bullock shows never before seen range and depth in a story of great warmth and strength.

Michael Oher (Quinton Aaron) was a 16 year old kid with few prospects for the future. Living part time on the streets, and the couch of friends and extended relatives when he could, Michael got a small but urgent break. Because of his immense size and athleticism a football coach at a small Tennessee Christian high school pushed and got him enrolled.

That was only the beginning. Michael, still living on the streets, had only a 4th grade reading comprehension. He had no school transcripts and the teachers at his new school had little patience. It was then that fate intervened in the forceful form of Leigh Anne Tuohy (Bullock.) Seeing poor Michael late one night after a sporting event wandering in the cold wearing only shorts and a t-shirt, Leigh Ann invites him home.

Michael intended to stay only a night but a night became a week and then a month and soon he was family, fitting in well with new little brother S.J (Jae Head) and eventually with sister Collins (Lily Collins). He also found a strong father figure in Sean Tuohy (Tim McGraw) , an athlete in his own right who pushes Michael to join the football team.

While Sean is supportive it is Leigh Ann that is the driving force in changing Michael's life, he eventually comes to call her mama. In a scene that has been prominently figured into the movie trailer; Leigh Ann is the one who explains to Michael just what a left tackle does on the football field. It's a little cheesy, but the scene plays and so does this movie.

Based on the book "The Blind Side: An Evolution of a Game" by Michael Lewis, The Blind Side is one extraordinary true story. Michael Oher is today a multi-millionaire left tackle for the Baltimore Ravens. The real life Tuohy's did indeed bring Michael into their lives and were there the day he was drafted into the NFL. Michael's story was ready made for the movies.

Writer-Director John Lee Hancock has experience with inspirational true sports stories, he scored a hit for Disney in 2005 with the story of a 40 year old relief pitcher who gets his big break in the big leagues in "The Rookie". That film was a saccharine melodrama that suffered from cliché and lack of invention. 

Some of those same issues are present in "The Blind Side" but that is where Ms. Bullock's performance steps in. Leigh Ann Tuohy is a no nonsense character who keeps the artifice of the director at bay with grit and a lively sense of humor. When Leigh Ann does succumb to the emotion of a particular moment it has power because she has so assiduously avoided the simpleminded emotional moments offered earlier. 

Sandra Bullock drives "The Blind Side" over the potholes of pedestrian direction. She gives the film resonance and emotional strength and she is aided greatly by newcomer Quinton Aaron who's gentle, teddy bear-like performance is a total winner. It's hard to believe an NFL lineman could be as amiable as Aaron's Michael Oher but I would like to believe it.

The real life Michael Oher story has quite a few differences from what you see in "The Blind Side'' but for what it is, a Hollywood-ized melodrama, "The Blind Side'' is a warm compassionate fairytale come true featuring a career best performance from an actress long ago written off as a comedienne on the downside of her box office career. Welcome back Sandra Bullock. 

Movie Review Love Liza

Love Liza (2002) 

Directed by Todd Louiso 

Written by Gordy Hoffman

Starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Kathy Bates, Stephen Tobolowsky 

Release Date January 14th, 2002 

Published June 2nd, 2003 

In this age of Prozac and less well-known antidepressants, it is becoming odd to see people express real sadness. In Love Liza, Phillip Seymour Hoffman takes sadness to profound depths. Portraying a man whose wife has taken her own life, Hoffman is a revelation in sadness in an award-worthy performance.

Directed by Todd Louiso, Love Liza stars Hoffman as Wilson Joel, a software designer living somewhere in the mid-south. When we meet him, Wilson is returning to his home with an obviously distraught air about him. As he falls asleep on the floor outside of his bedroom, we are certain that something very traumatic has happened. The film slowly reveals Wilson's wife has killed herself. Liza Joel had gone into their garage, locked herself in the car with the engine running.

What we, Wilson, and Liza's mother Mary Ann (Kathy Bates), don't know is why she did. Wilson has a clue, a suicide note that he can't bring himself to open. Mary Ann is pressuring him to open it and bring some small bit of closure to her daughter's death. Mary Ann's prodding and Wilson's attempts at returning to a normal life at work finally get the better of him as he becomes fascinated with Liza's last moments on earth. Having killed herself suffocating on gas fumes, Wilson begins to huff gasoline to get a sense of her final moments. The gas also provides a distraction from real life, and a temporary escape from the sadness.

The role fits Hoffman like it does no other actor; not only because Hoffman is a brilliant actor, but also because his brother Gordy wrote the script. Director Todd Louiso is also a close friend of the Hoffman brothers, which likely helped bring together a chemistry necessary to carry off this film which was shot in a mere 25 days.

As great as Hoffman and his supporting cast--Bates, Stephen Toboloski, and Jack Kehler--are, the rushed production did take its toll on the finished product. With script changes coming at the last minute, it's Bates's character who is hurt the most. Her character's motivations that lead to the film's third act are a contrivance that likely came only as a way of giving her character more screen time. As the filmmakers explain in the DVD commentary track, the character of Liza's mother was beefed up to get Bates in the movie.

Many critics called Love Liza oppressively sad and they were right. But that's the point. Of course it's sad. It is about grief to an extreme degree. This is not meant as an examination of grief on a grand scale. Love Liza is an examination of this character's grief and as played by Hoffman it is a powerhouse.

Movie Review: About Schmidt

About Schmidt (2002) 

Directed by Alexander Payne 

Written by Alexander Payne, Jim Taylor

Starring Jack Nicholson, Hope Davis, Dermot Mulroney, Kathy Bates, 

There have been a few times in Jack Nicholson's career where the image of Jack, the iconic ladies man, Laker fan Jack, the famous image, overcame the actor Jack Nicholson. Films like Wolf and even his role as The Joker in Batman showed Nicholson mugging for the camera and playing off his image rather than his talent. Then, in the early 2000’s, Nicholson seemingly set out to destroy ‘Jack’ the image and return to Jack the Actor. The Pledge, one of the best films of 2001, showcased Nicholson in a role stripped of any glamour or vanity. The Pledge is a slow boil performance that is both subtle and heartbreaking. And in About Schmidt, Jack goes for yet another unglamorous, though more mainstream, role as an aging retiree trapped in a life unlived.

As Warren Schmidt, Nicholson is a 66-year-old insurance company actuary. It’s a job Warren tells us has endowed him with the ability to determine just how long people will live. Thus, Warren is well aware of his own mortality as he sits at his retirement dinner with his wife of 42 years played by June Squibb. 42 long years, 42 very, long, years. As Warren describes in a very funny voiceover: “Who is this old woman in my bed?”

Warren and his wife have one daughter, Jeannie (Hope Davis) who is soon to be married. Though he is not allowed to say anything about the wedding by his domineering wife, Warren secretly hates his daughter’s fiance, played by Dermot Mulroney. This isn't your typical ‘no man is good enough for my daughter hatred.’ As Warren introduces his daughter’s fiance, in his voiceover, we are quick to see just what a real doofus this guy is.

Now retired with little to do Warren spends his days with crossword puzzles and watching TV. While flipping channels he comes across one of those child-reach infomercials where some celebrity tells you that for 22 dollars a month you can feed a starving child. Warren, for some reason, likely boredom, writes down the phone number, and is soon doling out the cash and writing letters to a six year old African boy named Ndugu.

The voiceover narration in About Schmidt comes from the letters Warren writes to Ndugu, and just hearing Nicholson open a new letter with the words "Dear Ndugu" provides the funniest and saddest moments of the film. Nicholson’s rye recognition of how he’s really talking to himself 

It is not long after Warren retires that his wife passes away, leaving Warren with an empty house and a newly purchased Winnebago in his driveway that his wife had purchased to drive cross country for their daughter's wedding. Taking to the road, Warren's adventures including a sad, tragic meeting with a couple of fellow RV drivers that is a terrific diversion from the main story. The film however gains it's true narrative thrust when Warren arrives for his daughter's wedding and ends up staying with the groom's mother Roberta (Kathy Bates). Her full on personality is immediately at odds with Warren's quiet dignity. A scene where Warren and Roberta share time in the hot tub is pure comic bliss that shows Nicholson at his slow boiling best.

Director Alexander Payne is a true pro, a visionary comic auteur that deftly combines realism and comedy. About Schmidt is filled with moments of warmth and humor that never seem fake. Thanks to one of the best scripts, casts and directors of any film in the last year.

Movie Review: Charlotte's Web

Charlotte's Web (2006) 

Directed by Gary Winick 

Written by Susannah Grant, Karey Kirkpatrick 

Starring Julia Roberts, Dakota Fanning, Robert Redford, Steve Buscemi, Oprah Winfrey, Kathy Bates

Release Date December 16th, 2006 

Published December 15th, 2006 

Most people of my generation, Gen-X, were exposed to E.B White's classic children's fable Charlotte's Web by the cartoon adaptation that was a television staple since its creation in 1972. Interesting fact about that adaptation, E.B White hated it. He was wary of Hollywood to begin with and found the adaptation to be lightweight and far too Hollywood.

There is no telling what he would think of the latest incarnation of Charlotte's Web; White died in 1985. However, he did once hope that the film would be given a live action treatment. Under the whimsical direction of Gary Winick (13 Going On 30) with a slightly updated script by Karey Kirkpatrick (Over The Hedge) and Susannah Grant (In her Shoes), this live action Charlotte's Web has the kind of magic that I think E.B White may have appreciated, especially as a fan of talking animals.

Wilbur (voice of Dominic Scott Kay) was a runt pig on his way to slaughter. Thankfully, young Fern (Dakota Fanning) was witness to his birth and stepped in to prevent his execution. The first few months of this spring-pigs life were spent as Fern's pampered pet. However, once school started and the holiday season grew closer, Wilbur's fate seemed to be Christmas dinner.

No longer allowed to be Fern's pet, Wilbur is banished to the barn owned by Fern's uncle, Mr. Zuckerman, where a menagerie of not so friendly neighbors await. Maybe they are just being realistic and not wanting to get close to an animal so likely to be gone by the first snow, but the animals in the Zuckerman barn are a little standoffish.

That is, except for Charlotte (Julia Roberts), a spider who befriends the lonely little pig. Charlotte can relate to being an outcast. As a spider she is not exactly on good terms with her neighbors either. Some are afraid, like Ike the horse (Robert Redford), others are disgusted by her, like Samuel the sheep (John Cleese). Wilbur becomes Charlotte's first friend. Eventually the two become close enough that Charlotte breaks the bad news to him about his likely fate but also promises to find a way to save him.

When I first began seeing trailers for this new Charlotte's Web I was concerned. The trailers featured fart jokes which to me signaled desperation and created the worry that such modern touches would all involve bathroom humor. My memories of Charlotte's Web from childhood are of a classy cartoon that even made the rat Templeton acceptable, even as he rolled in garbage.

Thankfully, my worries were unfounded. The bathroom humor in Charlotte's Web is limited to just a few scenes. What is prevalent throughout this new adaptation is a classy, old school approach to storytelling. Director Gary Winick spins a wondrous tale that is the perfect mixture of sugary sap and honest, touching emotion. The film is at times so saccharine you need to call your dentist but by the end you will find that you've spent the entire film with a smile on your face and maybe even a hint of a tear in the corner of your eye as one of the main characters passes away.

Julia Roberts provides the voice of Charlotte and her soft, honey soaked tones are so soothing you can't help but fall in love with this spider. Soft and sweet, her voice is the calming element needed to leaven the mood of the other voice actors who are either hyper or extremely put on. Roberts brought a similar vocal smoothness to the animated film The Ant Bully earlier this year, another film where her voice-work stands out.

Like the animated version of this story, this Charlotte's Web has a lovely timeless quality. Even with the CGI necessary to create the talking animals, Charlotte's Web has such a classic look and such an old school approach to storytelling that it seems like it could have existed 40 years ago. Director Gary Winick perfectly captures the innocence of E.B White's fable, his characters ,and even the slightly dark undertones of the story that give it such depth and resonance.

Charlotte's Web is at times a little cloying and at times a little too sweet but most of all, Charlott'e Web is a solidly crafted piece of G-rated children's entertainment. The nostalgia factor makes it appealing to adults as well as children but parents will likely be surprised just how much they enjoy  the feel of this film even beyond their memories of the cartoon and the classic book.