Movie Review Premonition

Premonition (2007) 

Directed by Mennon Yapo 

Written by Bill Kelly 

Starring Sandra Bullock, Julian McMahon, Nia Long, Kate Nelligan, Amber Valletta, Peter Stormare

Release Date March 16th, 2007

Published March 16th, 2007

Sandra Bullock's star has dimmed a great deal since the days when she was touted as replacing Julia Roberts as the queen of romantic comedy 12 years ago thanks to 1995's While You Were Sleeping. In this decade she has had only one legitimate hit movie, Miss Congeniality, that was sold on her star power. On the surface that would seem to reflect badly on Ms. Bullock.

In fact, however, there is a more complicated and interesting reason for her seeming decline. Sandra Bullock made the conscious choice not to be pigeonholed by her rom-com persona. Thus why she has made such eclectic and low key choices as  28 Days, Murder By Numbers and her small ensemble turn in the Oscar winner Crash. None of these movies has done anything for her box office reputation but they are, at the very least, risky and interesting choices.

For her latest film, the thriller Premonition, Bullock returns to big budget, mainstream, starring roles and chooses a most unlikely and uneven film choice. Premonition is a shallow, time shifting weepy about a woman who loses her husband over and over again until we in the audience aren't sure if we are cheering for Bullock to save her man or for the husband to finally disappear for good.

In Premonition, Sandra Bullock stars as Linda Hanson, a suburban mom of two lovely pre-teen girls (Shyann McLure and Courtney Taylor Burress). Her home is well tended, she runs everyday and keeps in great shape and yet there is something tearing at the fabric of her perfect suburban sprawl. Linda's husband Jim (Julian McMahon) has grown distant since the birth of their daughters and Linda doesn't know what to do about it.

All of that however, goes out the window when Jim is killed in a car accident. On his way to what he said was a job interview, though there is fair suspicion that Jim was meeting with another woman. Linda and her family are devastated, that is, till the next morning when Linda wakes up to find Jim in the kitchen making breakfast for his daughters.

Was it just a nightmare or a premonition? That becomes the point of the film as day after day Linda awakens to different days of the week and different realities before and after Jim's death.

Directed by German auteur Mennan Yapo, in his American debut, Premonition rolls out a time space continuum crossed with Groundhog Day plot and proceeds to beat it into the ground with repeated ridiculousness, lost and found plot lines and inconsistencies you could drive a semi truck through, oh sorry Jim.

The script by Bill Kelly, who has written nothing since the 1999 comedy Blast From the Past, is a mess of unfinished ideas and pointless existentialism. This is a film that is desperate to be deep but is far too lazy to figure out just what is deep or compelling about this plot. The story cannot even adhere to its own basic logic by connecting the various plot strands that either hang unfinished or simply peter out due to lack of interest.

Sandra Bullock has always had the ability to earn and keep an audience's sympathy and that is still the case; even in trash like Premonition. Even playing this ditzy, overwhelmed character who is blessed with all of the same knowledge that we in the audience are but refuses to make much use of it in her ever increasingly dire situation, Bullock somehow retains our sympathy.

The problem isn't Sandra Bullock, it's a bad script and a director more interested in camera histrionics and moody, gray skied atmosphere than in telling a smart compelling story. I must admit, director Mennan Yapo is a talented scenarist. With his best friend and cinematographer Torsten Lippstock, Yapo delivers some very interesting and unique visuals. His liberal use of handheld cameras gives the story a chaotic urgency that would have served well in a more coherent story. Unfortunately coherence is the last word I would use to describe the abysmal mess that is Premonition.

Sandra Bullock's best days at the box office are behind her but at least she still makes interesting and risky choices. Unfortunately, starring in Premonition isn't a choice that pays off well. Incoherent, ludicrous and outright irritating, this time twisting flick lacks the chills, thrills or even the modest entertainment value necessary for a successful film.

Sandra Bullock will walk away from Premonition still a sweetheart, still a presence who can win and hold your sympathy. It's the movie around her that suffers from its many plot holes and structural flaws.

Movie Review: Dead Silence

Dead Silence (2007) 

Directed by James Wan

Written by Leigh Whannell

Starring Ryan Kwanten, Amber Valletta, Donnie Wahlberg, Bob Gunton

Release Date March 16th, 2007 

Published March 15th, 2007 

James Wan and Leigh Whannell shot to fame as the team behind the Saw movies. Wan directed and Whannell wrote the script for the original Saw and their originality and clever twists kept audiences reeling all the way to over 100 million dollars worldwide. Since then James Wan has consulted as producer on Saw 2 & 3 while Whanell wrote the screenplays and kept their vision and guidance on the films intact.

Now, Wan and Whannell are out with their first post-Jigsaw horror film, a creepy puppet flick called Dead Silence. And thankfully, once again, Wan and Whannell hit another home run. Dead Silence is skin crawlingly creepy, ironic and smart with great twists and inventive gore.

There was a woman named Mary Shaw who, in 1941, in the town of Ravens Fair, was murdered. Her tongue was ripped out, an ironic means of death as Shaw was a ventriloquist. Unfortunately, for her killers, Mary Shaw did not stay dead. Year after year the people of Ravens Fair have turned up dead in a similar fashion to Mary Shaw.

Ryan Kwanten plays Jamie, a newlywed whose family was born and bred and Ravens Fair; though he himself left years ago. One night as he and his wife Lisa (Lauren Regan) are pondering take out food, a package arrives and inside is a reminder of the legend of Mary Shaw. Inside is Billy, a creepy looking ventriloquists dummy with frighteningly realistic eyes and an air of menace that is inexplicable.

When Jamie runs out to get food he returns to a true horror scene, the doll is on his bedroom floor and his wife is in bed dead, her tongue ripped out. Taken in by the cops, Jamie tells detective Jim Lipton (Donnie Wahlberg) all about the legend of Mary Shaw and why he must go to Ravens Fair to find whoever killed his wife. The detective is convinced that Jamie is the killer but without evidence all he can do is tail Jamie to Ravens Fair and hope he gives himself away.

To reveal much more about the plot of Dead Silence would be to reveal to much. The twists and turns of this plot are not quite as intricate as director James Wan and writer Leigh Whannell's debut picture Saw, but as far as scares go, Dead Silence is everything you would hope for from the guys who invented Jigsaw. Creepy, gory, atmospheric, Dead Silence is an honest to goodness scary movie that you will take home with you in your nightmares.

So what makes Dead Silence more creepy and clever than the dozens of horror films that have preceded it in this decade? It comes directly from the talents of director James Wan and writer Leigh Whannell. The scenarios they set in motion combine logical storytelling with strong suspense filmmaking and keep us in the audience in a constant state of alert, sitting on the edge of our seat, unable to predict what is going to happen next.

Wan and Whannell never retreat to the typical horror cliches to achieve their scares. There are no unnecessary shock cuts, no red herrings and no abuse of bombastic musical scoring to tell audiences when to be scared. Where so many modern horror films are utterly predictable, the Saw pictures, all written by Whannell with producer credits for Wan on Saw 2 and 3, and now Dead Silence avoid predictibility by employing great staging and scene setting. The audience is so busy covering their eyes in anticipation of the next scare, they simply don't have time tp predict what comes next.

Dead Silence isn't completely unpredictable, near the end; the film falls victim to Roger Ebert's legendary law of economy of characters. That law states that there are no extraneous characters and Dead Silence has one character that you have no doubt will be important later; whose plot isn't wrapped up when the rest of the movie seems to be. This oversight by Wan and Whannell is forgiven because the ending delivers big time on the fate of this extraneous character.

Dead Silence is a visceral horror experience with real scares and edge of your seat thrills. James Wan and Leigh Whannell prove once again why they are the pre-eminant artists of this genre. Combining the talents of Wes Craven and Clive Barker with a dash of Alfred Hitchcock and Rod Serling, Wan and Whannell bridge the gap between gory, blood-soaked horror and intellectual, atmospheric horror.

And, of course, they have creepy puppets. What more could you ask of a horror movie.

Movie Review Hitch

Hitch (2005) 

Directed by Andy Tennant

Written by Kevin Bisch

Staring Will Smith, Eva Mendes, Kevin James, Amber Valetta, Michael Rappaport, Adam Arkin

Release Date February 11th, 2005

Published February 9th, 2005

With his wit, style and natural charisma it's a wonder Will Smith waited this long to master the romantic comedy genre. In fact it's been five years, the ill-received drama The Legend Of Bagger Vance, since Smith has done a film without a weapon in his hand and an explosion at his back. Not since his breakthrough on TV's "Fresh Prince Of Bel Air" has Smith done anything close to a straight comedy. With his latest film Hitch, Smith shows that while practice may make perfect some just don't need it.

In New York City there is an urban legend about a guy so charming that he has taken to teaching other men to emulate his charms. This legend is known as the Date Doctor and while most don't believe he exists, he does in the form of Alex Hitchens, known as Hitch to his clients. The Date Doctor guarantees he can help any guy get any girl in three dates or less. Don't get the wrong idea, Hitch won't help a guy with a one night stand, only serious relationship-seekers need apply.

Oddly enough, the man who has made obtaining love for others his life does not believe in love for himself. That is until Hitch meets Sara (Eva Mendes), a cynical gossip columnist who ironically does not believe the Date Doctor exists. From her dates with Hitch she has no reason to believe it could be him as one disaster after the next intervenes to ruin each date. For some reason Hitch's natural charm fails him at every turn in terrifically disastrous romantic comedy fashion.

Because Sara doesn't believe there is such a person as a Date Doctor you have your natural romantic comedy obstacle: how will she react to finding out her new boyfriend is this mystical Date Doctor. First she has to find out and that is where Albert (Kevin James from TV's "King Of Queens") comes in. Albert is a lovable but socially inept accountant who has fallen head over heels for a supermodel named Allegra Cole (Amber Valletta). With Hitch's help Albert manages to get a date with Allegra which catches the attention of the gossip columnist and our plot kicks in.

Hitch is not exactly original in execution. The film has many, if not all, of the classic romantic comedy cliches. Director Andy Tennant knows those cliches backwards and forwards.  They are his bread and butter from the awful, cliche ridden Reese Witherspoon comedy Sweet Home Alabama to the slightly less repulsive Matthew Perry-Salma Hayek rom-com Fools Rush In. Tennant directs as if he has never known another way to tell a story.

What makes Hitch stand apart from other romantic comedies is star Will Smith and his love interest, the smoldering and sexy Eva Mendes. Where previous couplings in films directed by Andy Tennant have fizzled under the weight of his heavy handed direction, Smith and Mendes manage to float above the commonness of the film. They are helped greatly by James, who does much of the comic heavy lifting. With James shouldering the burden of the more tiresome and forced comic moments, Smith and Mendes are free to turn up the romantic heat with their sparkling chemistry.

Hitch is what it is-- genre fluff that succeeds, like all modern romantic comedies, on the star power of its cast and their ability to transcend even the most damningly familiar plot elements. Will Smith is more than star enough for the task.

Movie Review: Transporter 2

Transporter 2 (2005) 

Directed by Louis Letterier

Written by Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen 

Starring Jason Statham, Amber Valletta, Keith David, Matthew Modine, Jason Flemying 

Release Date September 2nd, 2005 

Published September 2nd, 2005 

The first Transporter movie was a rather innocuous exercise in combining American style action movies with Asian style violence and European locales. Memorable only for its rising star Jason Statham, The Transporter made little box office noise before being shuffled off to DVD. It is in this fast growing market that a small cult formed. For some reason people started buying the DVD and an underground of Frank Martin fans managed to turn the DVD into a big enough hit that a sequel was necessary. Four years after the original made its minor box office impact, Transporter 2 hits the screen with a fury that box office hits are made of.

Jason Statham returns as Frank Martin, a character he created for a stylish car commercial some four years ago. That lead to The Transporter in which ace getaway driver Frank Martin is hired to deliver a package that he finds out is actually a human being, a really sexy Asian woman to be precise. Violating his rules of non-involvement in his clients' business Frank set about releasing the girl and protecting her from his thug clients.

Four years later, the sexy Asian woman is a memory as is Frank's dangerous past. Now living in Florida, Frank has taken a gig as driver and bodyguard for the 8 year old son of a high profile government executive named Billings (Matthew Modine). Frank was hired at the behest of Mrs. Billings (Amber Valleta) who was concerned that her son might be the target of kidnappers because of her husband's high profile job.

Oh how right she was. On a routine trip to a doctor's office Frank and the boy are attacked by a group of thugs lead by the super sexy and psychotic Lola (model, Kate Nauta). After a massive action sequence culminating as they often do in this film with a giant fireball, the boy is eventually taken and only Frank Martin can save him.

The plot is far more complicated then that however.  Eventually it involves a hired hitman played by Alessandro Gassman, and a deadly virus spread through breathing that has only a limited amount of antidote. The plot is dopey and convoluted but who cares.  The action surrounding the goofy plot is what makes Transporter 2 the kind of enjoyable action junk not seen since the heyday of Jean Claude Van Damme.

Jason Statham, auditioning for the James Bond gig, has his stone-faced intensity and agile fighting stance in full effect in Transporter 2. Even in the film's most outrageous contrivances Statham's taciturn charisma and dangerous demeanor draws you in and helps you forget about the number of times he outruns giant, physics defying fireballs and survives ridiculous explosions, car wrecks and a plane crash.

Even more durable than Statham is his 2006 Lexus which is scratch proof, bullet proof and nearly bomb proof. The driving stunts are, as they were in the first film, exciting and well executed but really nothing more than a commercial for the car itself. In fairness, it's a gorgeous vehicle and the makers of Transporter 2 do a wonderful job of showing it off. It's basically Statham's top supporting cast member and as silly as that sounds, it works for this ultimately silly action movie. 

Director Louis Leterrier is no stranger to popcorn action junk. Earlier this year he delivered the awesomely entertaining actioner Unleashed with Jet Li. In Transporter 2 he brings that same sense of action and fun. Fight scenes choreographed by Cory Yuen, who performed the same task in the first film, have the feel of Jackie Chan's comedic approach to combat, combined with Jet Li's power. Watch out for a scene in which Frank employs a fire hose ala Jackie Chan and an awesomely coordinated scene with a pair of handcuffs similar to a scene in Jet Li's The One.

That is not to say that Transporter 2 is derivative but that it's a movie with keen awareness of its influences. Leterrier, a French Director and protégée of Luc Besson (who wrote both Transporter films), is developing a reputation for his love for and emulation of Asian style action and acrobatics. His love for this material showed greatly in Unleashed and continues remarkably well here.

Another well-acknowledged influence is American style action junk ala Van Damme or Seagal. Transporter 2 lifts heavily from the conventions and clichés of 80's and 90's action movies but with a slightly more stylish execution and a sly knowing wink to break the spell of earnestness that makes so many of those oh-so -serious action vehicles so campy in retrospect.

Transporter 2 is just wall to wall goofiness grounded, somewhat, by the sly but serious performance of star Jason Statham. Regardless of how outlandish the film's stunts and plot are you cannot help but enjoy watching Statham walk through it all with stoic dignity. This is the kind of movie star presence that made Mel Gibson a superstar in Lethal Weapon or at the very least made Steven Seagal a lot of money in a short period of time.

Whether this will be enough to land Statham his dream role as 007 is questionable but the producers would be smart to take a long look at both Statham and director Louis Leterrier, both of whom could bring some lively action to the moribund spy series.

Movie Review: The Spy Next Door

The Spy Next Door (2010) 

Directed by Brian Levant 

Written by Jonathan Bernstein, James Greer, Gregory Poirier 

Starring Jackie Chan, Amber Valletta, Madeline Carroll, George Lopez

Release Date January 15th, 2010 

Published January 14th, 2010 

It is far too easy to rip a movie like The Spy Next Door. The plot is dimwitted and derivative, star Jackie Chan has far too little mastery of the English language to be given this many lines, and the supporting cast is a minefield of overacting and over-arching cuteness. Way too easy. The harder thing to do is admit that despite all the garbage in The Spy Next Door, there are a few modest pleasures and even a couple of smiles to be had.

The Spy Next Door is an accidental re-imagining of Vin Diesel's Disney flick The Pacifier. Take the world's greatest super-spy and leave him in charge of some precocious pre-teens and wait for wacky stuff to happen. The only difference is where Diesel seems terribly uncomfortable; Jackie Chan seems right at home playing with the kids.

Chan is secret agent Bob Ho, a spy on loan to the CIA from Chinese Intelligence. Bob is tracking a Russian bad guy named Poldark (Magnus Scheving) and his evil gal Friday, Creel (Katherine Boecher) as they seek to destroy the world supply of oil. Helping Bob are a pair of CIA agents, Glaze (George Lopez) and Colton (Billy Ray Cyrus).

Meanwhile, Bob is looking to wrap up his spy career so that he can marry his next door neighbor Gillian (Amber Valletta) who does not know that Bob is really a spy. Even bigger than that obstacle however is getting in good with Gillian's three kids. Farren (Madeline Carroll) is a severely moody oldest daughter who nastily calls her mom Gillian. Ian (Will Shadley) is the middle child and a power nerd who, though only 9, reads physics for fun. And finally 4 year Nora (Alina Foley) who is convinced that Bob is what Ian calls a ‘cyborg.’ Together the siblings look to get rid of boring Bob before he can marry mommy.

Yes, the plot is exceedingly dopey and condescendingly simple. But, you know that when you buy the ticket. Given that knowledge going in makes it easier to appreciate the few charms that The Spy Next Door has. Jackie Chan is now 50 years old and years of daring stunt work have taken their toll. Nevertheless, Chan gives it a go in The Spy Next Door and his brand of martial arts crossed with Buster Keaton style slapstick hasn't been this much fun in a while.

The kids in kid’s movies can be terribly irritating, either too precious or too grating. They are at times both in The Spy Next Door. That said each of the child actors has a good moment or two, especially young Alina Foley. It's cheating to have a sweet little four year old whisper 'I love you bob' as he sings her to sleep with a Chinese lullaby, but it's hard to deny how cute the scene is.

The Spy Next Door is not 'cinema.' This is not a great movie but it never pretends to be. The Spy Next Door is briskly paced, breezy, goofy and, best of all, over before you really tire of its idiot plot. By the lowered standards of kid’s entertainment this qualifies as something I can recommend. Kids won't be harmed by it and mom and dad may actually stay awake during most of it. What more can you ask of low rent kids entertainment. 

Movie Review Gamer

Gamer (2009) 

Directed by Neveldine and Taylor 

Written by Neveldine and Taylor 

Starring Gerald Butler, Michael C Hall, Amber Valletta, Logan Lerman, Terry Crews 

Release Date September 4th, 2009 

Published by September 3rd, 2009 

I was under the impression that actor Gerard Butler's career was going really well. That clearly is not the case after watching his new movie Gamer. If Mr. Butler has to pick up a role that Jason Statham obviously passed on, things aren't going that well. Ok, admittedly, I cannot prove that Mr. Statham passed on Gamer. However, the movie comes from the Crank team of directors, Mark Neveldine and Bryan Taylor.

Not to mention the fact that the role is pitched to Statham's vibe of brain free, bloody grit. Gerard Butler picks up the role and one cannot escape the idea of a not so bad actor picking up another actor's scraps. What a shame. Gamer is a dopey sci-fi action movie that thrusts its audience into the midst of a story in progress. In some not so distant future interactive gaming has evolved to an inhumane level. Real men and women are being incorporated into the gaming world through technology created by Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall). Castle is a malevolent version of Bill Gates.

Castle's brain controlling technology allows gamers to control real people. His first breakthrough game, Society, allowed the gamer to live out debauched fantasies, through real people. Castle's major breakthrough however is called Slayers, a game where death row inmates run about shooting at other death row inmates. If one inmate survives 30 battles he or she can be set free.

The star of Slayers is Kable (Butler). He had survived 27 battles when we meet him. Kable's real name is Tillman and he is surviving so that he can be reunited with his wife and daughter. Kable is controlled by a teenager named Simon (Logan Lerman) and when Simon is approached by a group opposed to Castle, Kable may find his way to escape.

I have brought some order to this story through my description of the plot but trust me when I tell you that the movie itself is much more of a mess than I let on. As with their two Crank movies, directors Neveldine and Taylor have little care for telling a story. The interests of these two low watt auteurs is playing with violent toys and reveling in human destruction.

Neveldine and Taylor have a low opinion of humanity and through their movies they choose to appeal only to the base impulses. This cynical approach is expressed through misogynist imagery and hardcore violence. Women are treated as victims and sex objects and violence is exploited and glorified in a fashion that makes you worry for the director's private lives.

Movies like Gamer and both of the Crank films are like a psychological profile of the people who created them. What they show are a pair of adults who act out like teenagers. The unrestrained id. The out of control ego. And finally, the plain and simple immaturity of these films makes you wonder if regular therapy sessions would be a better use of time than filmmaking for Neveldine and Taylor.

Not only is Gamer ugly, immature and cynical, it's also derivative. Take a dash of Running Man, cross it with Death Race and you get the bare bones of Gamer. Place big dumb action star in an inescapably violent future state. Place big dumb action star in a violent game where bloodthirsty audiences ooh and ahh. Finally, have big dumb action guy bring down the bad guy.

Whether Butler's Kable is successful in stopping the evil Bill Gates guy, I will leave you to discover should you choose to endure Gamer. It doesn't really matter whether he succeeds or not. It doesn't improve the awful, ugly mess that is Gamer. Really, nothing could.