Movie Review Yoga Hosers

Film Review: Yoga Hosers – Dumb on Purpose, and Proud of It

By Sean Patrick

Kevin Smith’s Yoga Hosers is not your average horror-comedy—it’s proudly weird, self-aware, and ridiculously dumb… and that’s kind of the point.

Starring Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp, this quirky flick follows two high school sophomores who work at a Canadian convenience store and suddenly find themselves battling sentient bratwursts—yes, bratwursts—reanimated by a Nazi scientist. These creatures, dubbed “Bratsies,” are hilariously portrayed by Smith himself, bringing a surreal level of absurdity to the screen.

Tied loosely to Smith’s previous film Tusk, Yoga Hosers is the second entry in his self-proclaimed “Canadian Trilogy.” Justin Long also returns, this time as a yoga instructor named Yogi Bear (yes, really), who teaches the girls the ancient art of yoga-based butt-kicking.

Let’s be clear: this is a bad movie—but it knows it’s bad. Unlike films that flop due to lack of effort or vision, Yoga Hosersis intentionally dumb, a loving throwback to campy ‘80s horror where the fun is in how off-the-rails things get. Smith’s joy in making it is palpable, and that infectious energy carries the film further than you’d expect.

While this movie definitely won’t be for everyone—it’s tailor-made for a niche audience with a taste for kitsch and meta-humor—those who catch its wavelength will likely find it charming, hilarious, and even a little bit brilliant in its own warped way.

Verdict: A knowingly stupid, joyfully bad movie that you’ll either love or hate—but it’s never boring.

Movie Review Elvis

Elvis 

Directed by Baz Luhrmann

Written by Baz Luhrmann, Sam Bromell, Craig Pearce, Jeremy Doner

Starring Austin Butler, Tom Hanks

Release Date June 24th, 2022

I am a huge fan of director Baz Luhrmann. I find his brand of colorful, whirling, swirling romance to be a heady and exciting mix. Luhrmann is an undeniable artist. That fact makes reviewing his new movie, Elvis, such a chore. I don’t like having to write negatively about a director I admire as much as I admire Baz Luhrmann. But, sadly, Elvis is far too undercooked, far too chaotic, and far too much for me to recommend. 

Elvis is a pseudo-biopic of the legendary King of Rock N’Roll, Elvis Presley, played by newcomer Austin Butler. The actual star of Elvis however, is a fat suit wearing, comically accented Tom Hanks as Elvis’s snaky guru and manager, Col. Tom Parker. The film loosely tells Elvis’s story through the unreliable prism of Parker’s self-aggrandizing narration. This becomes confusing as Parker appears to narrate scenes he wasn’t present for or scenes that are deeply critical of his actions, which muddy his apparent motivation.

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media, linked here. 

Movie Review The Bikeriders

The Bikeriders (2024)

Directed by Jeff Nichols 

Written by Jeff Nichols

Starring Austin Butler, Tom Hardy, Jodie Comer 

Release Date June 21st, 2024 

Published June 23rd, 2024 

Austin Butler stars in The Bikeriders as Benny. We are told in an early scene that women avoid Benny because he's a tragedy waiting to happen. He is known for repeatedly crashing his bike and for being a hothead regarding his motorcycle club, The Vandals. We never actually see him crash his motorcycle. Not one time. So I am not sure why that was introduced as a defining trait but, whatever. Naturally, being told to stay away from Benny is every woman's weakness and thus Kathy (Jodi Comer), a very non-biker chick, goes for him in a big way. Kathy has a home and a good job and she wants nothing more than to take the wild and free Benny and domesticate him. 

The Vandals didn't set out to be a motorcycle gang. Initially, they were about motorcycle racing but Johnny (Tom Hardy), wanted something more and The Vandals were born as a group of friends who like riding, drinking and fighting together while wearing variations on the same jacket. Johnny was literally inspired by seeing a Marlon Brando movie, The Wild One, on TV one night. From there, he built the gang, bought a bar for them to hang out in, and rode motorcycles all over the Midwest, often using intimidation to keep people from messing with his friends.

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media, linked here. 

Movie Review Dune 2

Dune 2 (2024) 

Directed by Denis Villeneuve 

Written by Denis Villeneuve, Jon Spaihts 

Starring Timothee Chalamet, Zendaya, Austin Butler, Rebecca Ferguson, Javier Bardem, Dave Bautista

Release Date March 1st, 2024 

Published March 4th, 2024 

Dune 2 is the epic and awesome follow-up to the triumphant 2021 extravaganza that manages to top the spectacle of the first while never losing sight of the characters at the heart of both films. The scope, the scale, the spectacular action and special effects, all come together to make Dune 2 a film experience not to miss. Co-written and directed by Denis Villeneuve, Dune 2 demonstrates what can happen when a visionary filmmaker is given the resources and the time to explore their vision and realize that vision in full. It's a staggering work. 

Dune 2 picks up the story of the first Dune by fully revealing the conspiracy at hand. Not only was House Atreides attacked by House Harkonnen, the attack came at the best of the Emperor of the known universe, Shaddam IV (Christopher Walken). The Emperor believed that Duke Leto Atreides (Oscar Isaac, from Dune 1), was becoming a threat to his rule so he secretly supported and influenced House Harkonnen to take over the spice trade and destroy House Atreides. 

Unfortunately for the Emperor, the Harkonnen's failed to finish off House Atreides. Rumors are spreading fast regarding a leader having emerged among the Fremen, a warrior that many see as a possible messiah. The rumor goes further in stating that this supposed messiah is Paul Atreides, son of Leto and Lady Jessica (Rebecca Ferguson). Having been taken in by the Fremen, Paul and Lady Jessica have become members of the Fremen people with Paul taking on the name Paul Muad'Dib, and Lady Jessica accepting the role of the Reverend Mother of the Fremen, a challenge to her Bene Gesserit elder, played in both films by Charlotte Rampling. 

As the story picks up, Paul's place among the Fremen is assured just as his romance with Chani (Zendaya) is taking hold. The relationship between Paul and Chani is at the heart of Dune 2 as the script sets up a natural and heartbreaking conflict between the two, Chani's defiance over the idea of Paul as this messiah like figure and Paul's having to accept the role of messiah if he is to gain revenge against the Harkonnen's and the Emperor while securing the safety of the Fremen amid the growing conflict. This conflict between the freedom of the soul versus the notion of God's will is a terrific conflict and Chalamet and Zendaya make you feel every inch of that conflict in their dueling performances. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review: Aliens in the Attic

Aliens in the Attic (2009) 

Directed by John Schultz

Written by Mark Bunon, Adam F. Goldberg

Starring Ashley Tisdale, Carter Jenkins, Austin Butler, Kevin Nealon

Release Date July 31st, 2009 

Published August 2nd, 2009

Idiot movies like Aliens in the Attic are why I discourage parents from seeing live action kids flicks. The fact is that 99% of live action kid flicks rot out loud. Aliens in the Attic simply proves the point, only take your kids to animated movies. Even then, wait for it to be a Pixar animated movie.

Aliens in the Attic is the dopey story of ugly green midgets come to earth to take over. Why they begin with a summer house in the middle of nowhere is likely a joke I missed while attempting to retrieve my ever rolling eyes. Standing in the way of the invasion are a group of mean little brats and one not so horrible one.

The not so bad kid is merely boring. He is Tom (Carter Pearson) and from moment one he is picked on by all around him. He is joined by his brainless sister Bethany (Ashley Tisdale), her disturbingly older and creepily leering boyfriend Ricky (Robbie Hoffman) and a group of smaller cousins who, like us, also think Tom is boring.

They are on vacation with a group of the most annoyingly clueless parents ever put to screen. Kevin Nealon and Andy Richter lend unneeded and entirely untapped comic credentials to Aliens in the Attic as the befuddled dads.

Worst of the adults however is poor Doris Roberts. The Emmy nominated mother from Everybody Loves Raymond is called upon to perform karate in some of the most painfully unfunny comic fight scenes put to film. One can only assume that the awful effects used to place Ms. Roberts in these fight scenes are intentionally bad but it's hard to tell when everything in the film is so poorly crafted.

There is not a single laugh or note of originality in one minute of this slapdash mess. Aliens in the Attic was cynically crafted to remove money from people's wallets and nothing more. Call me elitist if you like but I believe movies, especially those made for kids, should enrich the culture.

I believe that when a movie is made for an audience of children that the filmmakers have a duty to make a film of high quality that does more than merely asphyxiate a child for 90 minutes while mom and dad play sudoku on their iPhones. A movie made for kids should have a point and purpose and short of that should at the very least intrigue and involve the imagination.

Kids will get nothing of the sort from Aliens in the Attic a mindless piece of dreck that shutters the imagination in favor of cheap and easy gags and bad special effects. Ugh.