Four Christmases (2008)
Directed by Seth Gordon
Written by Jon Lucas, Scott Moore, Matt R. Allen, Caleb Wilson,
Starring Vince Vaughn, Reese Witherspoon, Mary Steenburgen, Jon Favreau, Tim McGraw, Sissy Spacek
Release Date November 26th, 2008
Published November 27th, 2008
It's just not that funny. I watch and I want to laugh. I feel for that tickle at the back my throat. I try and force it a few times. It just doesn't come. You know why? Because, Four Christmases starring Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon just isn't funny. The trailer was funny. I laughed a few times during the two and a half minute teaser.
I watched the movie, nothing. No laugh. Not even a chuckle. I sighed deeply once and it could have been mistaken as a laugh. But no. The movie isn't funny.
Brad (Vaughn) and Kate (Witherspoon) have been together for three years with no want for marriage or children. They really aren't keen on family at all. Thus why every Christmas they lie to their families and escape to some exotic isle. This year, they are off to Fiji until weather grounds their plane and they are captured on TV being forced to stay in country.
Plot forces require that each of four parents, now all separated, see the same news report and press the guilt button. Each parent will be visited and each will bring about a new kind of torture.
Robert Duvall and Sissy Spacek are Vaughn's parents while Mary Steenburgen and Jon Voight act as Witherspoon's sires. Each offers opportunities for laughs and yet none provide. Director Seth Gordon assigns each of these legendary performers a personality but forgets to offer any plot assistance.
Duvall is a bully, as are the assigned brothers Jon Favreau and Tim McGraw, randomly assigned as cage fighters. Are you laughing yet? Spacek is a space cadet who has married again to one of Brad's friends (Patrick Van Horn in a 'hey that guy was in Swingers' cameo'). Are you laughing now? How about if mom and new boyfriend repeatedly mention their sex life? Nothing?
Steenburgen, as Witherspoon's Kate warns us, is a cougar. She immediately is welcoming to Brad, willing to humiliate her daughter to make Brad ever more uncomfortable. Ha! No. Yeah, me neither. What if I throw in the fact the cougar mom is also a jesus freak and is dating a pastor played by Dwight Yoakam? What if the pastor forces Brad and Katie to play Mary and Joseph in a church pageant? Still nothing?
Finally there is Jon Voight who apparently said no to his assigned persona. Instead Voight plays benign presence to play against the craziness of everyone else. It works only to highlight the irritating, over the top absurdity of the other characters. But atleast Voight doesn't embarrass himself, which is I'm guessing, his goal for this role.
Seth Gordon is a comedically tone deaf director who pays off would be jokes two minutes before they actually happen. Truly, if you cannot see these 'jokes before they actually happen you may be having a stroke, seek medical help. Predictability is a sin that few can be forgiven for. I expect it from say, The Transporter where I would be disappointed if Jason Statham didn't drive fast and blow stuff up good.
I doubt the makers of Four Christmases put even that much thought into making this movie. They merely manufactured an idea. Cut characters out of a book of personality traits, filmed them and assembled them in number order. Whether the result was funny or even modestly amusing not so much a concern as getting the Christmas set film into theaters by the holidays to capitalize on tired, turkey and shopping attled masses seeking mindless distraction.
Say, I can recommend this movie. If you are in a tryptophan coma or blinded by the blue light special, Four Christmases is playing in a theater where you can sit in peace and quiet and not be bothered for 90 minutes.
