Movie Review: Transformers Revenge of the Fallen

Transformers Revenge of the Fallen (2009) 

Directed by Michael Bay 

Written by Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman

Starring Shia LeBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro

Release Date June 24th, 2009

Published June 23rd, 2009

As a kid I was a big fan of Transformers. Looking back now as an adult I marvel at the idea: Wow, I was one weird kid. Transformers is one goofball concept. Talking, alien robots come to earth in search of ancient energy and disguise themselves as everyday cars, trucks and electronics.

This concept raises numerous logical questions, not the least of which is: Why would giant alien robots need to pretend to be everyday objects? You're a giant alien robot, why are you disguised as an Ice Cream Truck or a tape player? Identities taken on by a pair of alien robots.

The goofball premise becomes even goofier in the live action movie and sequel Transformers and Transformers Revenge of the Fallen. Adding Shia LeBeouf, Megan Fox and a couple of wacky parental figures for comic relief, director Michael Bay takes a bizarre concept and makes it even more bizarre.

When we last saw the Autobots, good guy alien robots lead by Optimus Prime, they had stopped the evil Decepticons, lead by the evilest of evil alien robots Megatron, from obtaining something called the All Spark. Now, the Autobots and their human friends are prepping for war with the Decepticons once again, this time over something called Energon. Riveted yet?

The key to finding or rather creating energon, maybe, I'm not sure, is inside the mind of college bound Sam Witwicky (shia LeBeouf). It was Sam's seemingly random purchase of a rundown yellow camaro that lead to mass warfare when it was revealed that his car was really the alien robot protector bot Bumblebee. Sam making this discovery automatically drafted him and the girl of his dreams Mikaela (Megan Fox) into the war between Alien robot races.

Now, Sam has a map imprinted in his brain that will lead to the discovery of energon, or something. The Decepticons want to open up Sam's brain and remove the information while Sam needs to lead the Autobots to the energon to stop them.

If that plot doesn't grab you then you should probably skip Transformers Revenge of the Fallen because at 2 hours and 45 minutes you will have to want to be invested in this plot. You will have to work very hard not to be bored or put off by this exceptionally over-complicated and lame plot.

Worse yet are the juvenile, amateur hour attempts at humor. Sam's parents played by Kevin Dunn and Judy White are used as comic filler, first doing a variation on the comic strip Bickersons and then a really odd stretch where mom is whacked out on drugs. None of this has anything to do with alien robots and yet it's in there.

Then there is the robot who speaks jive. The robot who speaks through classic songs on it's car radio and the robot with giant robot testicles. Yes, testicles. Are you laughing yet?

As much as I loathe most of Transformers Revenge of the Fallen even I cannot deny the technical mastery on display. Director Michael Bay cannot tell a good story to save his life  but his special effects work is some of the best in the industry. Optimus Prime is a mind blowing special effect that in a better more daring story would be the lead character.

Here is a sidekick to a group of forgettable human caricatures and one exceptionally beautiful woman. This relegation to the background makes him bland as a character but still extraordinarily rendered. When he is onscreen, especially in battle with the Decepticons, Prime is the kind of star you build movies around.

All of the alien robots are remarkably works of CGI effects. As characters they mostly stink. That however, they have in common with their human counterparts. Shia LeBeouf is a nice actor with a good deal of charisma but his only real character development comes in being in better physical shape than in the first film, the likely result of having to literally run from one special effect to the next, from one on set explosion to the next CGI green screen robot.

There is no denying Michael Bay is a master of effects. If that is appealing enough for you, then see the movie, you might be satisfied. If however, you require a well told story with your massive special effects forget Transformers. See Star Trek a special effects movie that actually bothers to tell a story in between CGI explosions.

Movie Review: Death Race

Death Race (2008) 

Directed by Paul W.S Anderson 

Written by Paul W.S Anderson 

Starring Jason Statham, Joan Allen, Tyrese Gibson, Ian McShane

Release Date August 22nd, 2008

Published August 22nd, 2008

The description of Roger Corman's 1975 cult classic reads like a description of the latest Grand Theft Auto-style videogame. Racing across the country in souped up death cars, drivers in the death race get points not merely for winning but for killing opponents and pedestrians alike. Points are assigned for killing particular types of pedestrians such as old people or children.

A controversial premise back in 1975 becomes something only eye brow raising today thanks to the rise of the first person killer videogame. Why then did writer-director Paul W.S Anderson abandon the gimmick for his modern Death Race remake? Who knows.

In the new Death Race Jason Statham stars as Jensen Aimes, a former Nascar driver convicted of murdering his wife. The reality is that Aimes was framed for his wife's murder by Hennessey (Joan Allen) who needed him in her prison to drive in the ratings champion Death Race. Her former top draw Frankenstein has died and ratings have been dropping ever since.

However, after hiding Frank's death from the public and helped by the fact that he wore a mask, Hennessey plans on subbing Jensen for for Frank. The Death Race features some of the most violent and disturbed men in the world including the multiple murder convict Machine Gun Joe (Tyrese Gibson) and the man who actually killed Aimes' wife, Ulrich (Jason Clarke), driving cars equipped with weapons. The goal, win the race and kill your fellow racers. Win five races in a row and you win your freedom.

The plot construct of Paul W.S Anderson drives wildly off course from the Corman original. The future setting of this death race for some reason includes giant prison colonies, corporate run prisons and other such unnecessary nonsense. The race itself is an whole other kind of nonsense. It's called Death Race yet racers have survived race after race so well that each of the 8 to 10 racers has their own history and fanbase.

Then Jensen joins and suddenly racers are dying left and right. Half way through this death race Hennessy introduces a new danger, a giant truck filled with her henchman that begins killing racers. She seems to have instructed it to kill everyone but then there wouldn't be any more death racers and their is half a race left?

Now, I realize I am injected logic where none is welcome, this is after all a supremely dumb action flick and not some high minded drama. But, when the action is as lame as that of Death Race, I am left only to my logical mind to survive such tripe. Pulling apart the ludicrous nature of Paul W.S Anderson's script just gives me something to do while I wait for the movie to be over.

Aside from his good work in The Bank Job, Jason Statham's act has gotten supremely tired. The Transporter movies, Crank, War, Statham is playing the same character over and over and over again, varying only the character name. Sure, sometimes, as in War, he speaks with a slightly more clipped pace, but otherwise it's no different.

His Jensen Aimes is merely his Transporter sent to prison. Writers and directors may as well start naming his character Jason Statham just to make things as simple as possible for the action star. Even the sense of humor he developed working with pal Guy Richie on Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch has devolved into a tired, unfunny, deadpan.

Death Race never set out to be anything more than a cheap, second rate, z-movie. Roger Corman was even kind enough to add his imprimatur just to make sure you didn't expect to much quality from this enterprise. But, most of the credit for the crappiness of Death Race falls on Paul W.S Anderson who adds to his resume of debacles from Resident Evil to Alien Vs Predator, another stupidly violent, mind numbingly idiotic, action flick.