Movie Review Aquaman and The Lost Kingdom

Aquaman and The Lost Kingdom (2023) 

Directed by James Wan 

Written by David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick, Will Beall

Starring Jason Mamoa, Patrick Wilson, Nicole Kidman, Amber Heard, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II 

Release Date December 21st, 2023 

Published December 29th, 2023 

Wow! Aquaman 2 The Lost Kingdom is quite bad. I truly did not care for this DCEU sequel to what wasn't a bad first film. The sequel is lazy and dimwitted, ponderous and often quite ugly to look at. It's everything we've come to dislike about modern comic book blockbusters. The worst element is the CGI, a rubbery mess of indecipherable visuals and some of the worst fight scenes since Michael Bay assaulted our senses in the Transformers franchise. The biggest disappointment, however, is director James Wan, a supremely talented director who appears to be on complete autopilot in this lazy sequel. 

The film begins with a hacky sitcom monologue which sets up the new dynamic of the Aquaman movie universe. Aquaman, AKA, Arthur Curry (Jason Samoa), delivers a monologue that appears to break the fourth wall except that it is couched as a dialogue with his new baby, Arthur Jr. He's bringing the baby up to speed on where we stand now with Arthur as the King of Atlantis, hating the restrictions of being King and finding ways to be the Arthur of old, a superhero who fights evil and protects the good. His wife, Hera (Amber Heard), is also around... somewhere. 

Much of the early portion of the film is Arthur with his baby and sharing beers with his dad, Tom (Temeura Morrison). That is until, David Kane, AKA, Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) makes his presence felt. He's somewhere in Antarctica searching for The Lost Kingdom. With the aid of a genius scientist, Dr. Stephen Shin (Randall Park), and the effects of Global Warming, he does find something, an ancient weapon called The Black Trident. The possessed weapon begins to infect Black Manta's mind, using his hatred for Aquaman to drive him to free the Lost Kingdom from a centuries long curse. 

In order to find Black Manta, Arthur must do the unthinkable, break his brother, Orm (Patrick Wilson), out of a desert prison where he's been held since the end of the last movie. Thanks to the power of lazy screenwriting, Orm knows where to find Black Manta, or the Star Wars cantina where someone else knows where Manta is. It is one of the most boring prison breaks in movie history. It's remarkably by the numbers, hampered by bad CGI, and wildly underwhelming villains guarding Orm. Same can be said for the visit to a pirate bar featuring rejected Star Wars aliens. 

Click here for my full length review. 

Movie Review Fast X

Fast X (2023) 

Directed by Louis Letterier 

Written by Dan Mazeau, Justin Lin 

Starring Vin Diesel, Jason Mamoa, Tyrese, Charlize Theron, Paget Brewster, John Cena, Michelle Rodriguez, Ludacris, Sung Kang, Jason Statham, Helen Mirren

Release Date May 19th, 2023 

Published May 19th, 2023 

What is there to say about Fast X? If you aren't fully onboard with the utter nonsense that is the Fast and Furious franchise at this point, why are you bothering? I happen to be fully on board for this nonsense. I fell in love with the silly, testosterone fueled nonsense in 2001 and have remained in love with this nonsense as it morphed from being about street racers pulling small scale criminal heists -they literally stole DVD players and VCRs out of semis in the original- to today when everyone is basically an immortal superhero. 

You have to accept a lot of B.S when you accept the Fast franchise. Take, for instance, where we begin in Fast X. Dom (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) begin the film back in L.A, back in what may be their old neighborhood. These are people who still live with a deep, paranoid fear that people are trying to kill them and they are living exactly where anyone trying to find them will find them, very easily, with little to no effort. 

The movie openly admits this as the plot kicks off with the person who has hunted them for the past two films, Cypher (Charlize Theron), finds their house and knocks on the door. Cypher is battered and bruised. She's bleeding from some sort of wound to her abdomen. She tells Dom and Letty that she sought them out because the person who did this is even more evil than herself. He's so evil that she wants to join their side to fight him. 

That man is Dante Reyes (Jason Mamoa) whose father, Herman Reyes (Joachim De Almeida) was killed during Fast crew's heist of a vault full of cash in Rio De Janeiro, as seen in flashback here and in full in Fast Five. Dante doesn't want to kill Dom, he wants to make him suffer. That means targeting Dom's family and trying to kill anyone who has ever help the Toretto family. Why he doesn't just roll into the L.A suburbs and do his business, I have no idea. 

Instead, Dante, being all kinds of extra, decides to blow up the Vatican and frame Dom's crew for the crime. It's as brazen and silly as that sounds. A portion of Vatican City is destroyed but exposition newscaster, one of the unsung heroes of this franchise, tells us that no one was killed. A giant bomb took out a portion of a massive tourist destination and no one was killed. Everyone in the Fast universe is a superhero. I don't know if this 'no one was killed' nonsense extends to the cops chasing Dom and his crew through the streets of Rome but if they didn't die, there is no death in this universe. 

This sequence is utterly bonkers and I loved it. I did. I loved it. It's total, non-stop, nonsense but it's so much fun. The bomb is a giant ball that rolls out of the back of a semi-truck and will not stop rolling as if Rome were nothing but a tilted table. At one point, the bomb rolls over a gas pump and the pumps explode. Dom uses his car to shield people on the street from the explosion. The bomb continues to roll but is now on fire as Dom chases it in his super-car. It's gloriously stupid and I love it. 

If Fast X lacks, it's due to director Louis Letterier who leans too far into the dour, sourpuss, self-seriousness of Dominic Toretto. Where Justin Lin and F. Gary Gray got how silly this series is and embraced the giddy stupidity, Letterier takes things in the direction that Diesel wants to go, treating the nonsense seriously and threatening to upend the strength of this franchise, how it is embraces its own nuttiness and leans into the criticism of it being the loudest, brainless franchise in Hollywood. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review: Conan the Barbarian

Conan the Barbarian (2011) 

Directed by Marcus Nispel 

Written by Thomas Dean Donnelly, Joshua Oppenheimer, Sean Hood 

Starring Jason Mamoa, Rachel Nichols, Stephen Lang, Leo Howard, Ron Perlman

Release Date August 19th, 2011

Published August 19th, 2011 

In all honesty, I expected to hate Conan the Barbarian. Critics aren’t supposed to be prejudiced against a movie but director Marcus Nispel doesn’t have a great track record. Nispel’s Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw Massacre remakes are exercises in brutality and I’m not talking about what he puts his characters through, but what he puts the audience through with his ham-fisted, overly stylized, blood and guts approach that treats characters as bags of meat that exist only to be split open like piñatas.

Don’t misunderstand, there are plenty of meat-bags in Conan the Barbarian waiting to be split open like so many pigs at a slaughterhouse, but somehow, one of the writers actually snuck a modicum of character development into the film and the yeoman work of the casting director found a few shockingly talented actors who miraculously manage to act amidst Nispel’s fetishistic bloodlust.

Jason Momoa plays Conan the Barbarian, a man born as a warrior; literally. He was born in the middle of a battle, cut from his dying mother’s womb amidst a clash of swords and the separating of limbs from bodies. Raised by his barbarian daddy, expertly played by that charming lunkhead Ron Perlman, Conan develops into a warrior at a very young age.

14 year old Leo Howard plays young Conan and the kid is a star. It was Howard as young Conan exhibiting badass skill in taking down a small horde of bad guys and carrying their severed heads back to his father as a trophy that won me over. When young Conan is forced to witness an atrocity against his family at the hands of the ruthless, power hungry Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang), Howard brings fierce intensity to Conan rather than the simple tears and fears of a child.

Jumping ahead a decade or so we find Conan as a warrior pirate sailing the scummy sea sides in search of any sign of Khalar Zym and the chance to avenge his family. When his chance arrives, following a siege by Zym and his nutty sorceress daughter, Marique (Rose McGowan), at a formerly peaceful mountainside monastery, Conan doesn’t let the opportunity pass, even if it means using an innocent beauty, Tamara (Rachel Nichols) as bait.

Jason Momoa, I’m told, is quite compelling on HBO’s Game of Thrones where his Khal Drogo is a silent yet imposing killer. In Conan the Barbarian however, Jason Momoa is shown up big time by the young Conan the Barbarian, Leo Howard. Howard is the star, Momoa merely carries on the compelling character that the kid creates. Momoa’s leaden line delivery nearly undoes the hard work Leo Howard put into making Conan so compelling. Thankfully, what Momoa failed at as an actor he makes up for as a physical presence and sword swinging apparatus.

I could sit here and hammer Conan the Barbarian for its blatant misogyny and massive lapses in logic but that would ignore the fact that I knew what Conan the Barbarian was before I saw it. I went into Conan the Barbarian aware that the film was going to treat women as sex objects and damsels in distress and I knew not to expect a heavy dose of brains other than those that spilled out of the cracked skulls of many CGI extras.

It seems unsportsmanlike to call out Conan the Barbarian for living down to expectations. And what would be more unsportsmanlike would be to deny that once you put aside the preconceived notions of Conan the Barbarian, the film is surprisingly compelling, even gripping in its blood and guts way.

Is Conan the Barbarian a little daffy at times? Absolutely, but it is also surprisingly involving and exciting. Do I welcome a Conan the Barbarian sequel? No, I don’t need to see this character ever again but for a one off, blood and guts, 3D epic, Conan the Barbarian is shockingly fun and surprisingly worth the 3D ticket price.

Movie Review: Aquaman

Aquaman (2018) 

Directed by James Wan 

Written by David Leslie Johnson, Will Beal

Starring Jason Mamoa, Patrick Wilson, Amber Heard, Willem Dafoe, Dolph Lundgren, Yahya Abdul Mateen, Nicole Kidman

Release Date December 21st, 2018 

Published December 20th, 2018 

Aquaman stars Jason Mamoa as Arthur Curry, the one true King of Atlantis, though he doesn’t see it that way. Having been born to Queen Atlanna of Atlantis and a lighthouse keeper named Thomas (Temeura Morrison), Arthur doesn’t feel fully at home on either land or at sea. Despite having grown up under the tutelage of Vulko Willem Dafoe), his mother’s top advisor, and trained for royal combat, Arthur’s human side keeps him from embracing his Atlantean heritage. 

Arthur, known to many as Aquaman following the events of Justice League, will soon have to make a decision about Atlantis, whether to become its King or unwilling subject. Arthur’s brother, Ohrm (Patrick Wilson) has risen to the throne in the absence of Atlanna and he has plans to bring destruction to land-dwellers for the pollution and violence that human beings have brought to the oceans around Atlantis. 

To do this however, Ohrm must convince the seven kingdoms of the sea to get behind him as the Ocean Master, and allow him to take their armies into battle. All that stands in his way is Arthur who is guided by Mera (Amber Heard), the object of Ohrm’s affections and the daughter of one of the kings of the sea, King Nereus (Dolph Lundgren). Mera wants to prevent a war and believes that Arthur ascending to the throne is the only way to prevent it. 

It is Mera who drives the plot, convincing Arthur to seek the legendary Trident of Atlan, the weapon belonging to the very first King of Atlantis. The journey takes them from the deserts of the Sahara to the oceans around Sicily and eventually to the very center of the Earth where deadly combat awaits around every corner. All the while, Ohrm is raising an army and plotting to destroy all life on land unless Aquaman can stop him. 

Writing all of that out comes off even goofier than watching it unfold did. That said, it’s a good kind of goofy. Aquaman is a completely unpretentious comic book adventure that is both comic book nerdy and action movie macho. The film threads the needle of being just geeky enough and just enough of a macho action flick to satisfy audiences of both kinds. Jason Mamoa is the key to that tone. He’s a clever actor who gets the role he’s playing and does well to under-play the silliness to make room for his muscles. 

Director James Wan, though best known for the gruesome Saw franchise and the spooky The Conjuring universe, is proving to be a director who can do just about anything. It helps that he transitioned from horror movies to The Fast and the Furious franchise to Aquaman. Aquaman takes the self-seriousness of Wan’s horror work and combines it with the whacked out nonsense of the Furious franchise to create something that is incredibly silly but seriously well made. 

It’s a tricky tone that Aquaman has to pull off in order to not be laughed off the screen and James Wan nails it. Aquaman is silly in the way the Fast and Furious franchise is but it has the competence and chops of Wan's lower budget horror work. It’s a rather masterful piece of direction which manages to make great use of monstrous CGI without losing sight of the compelling characters at the heart of the story. 

Aquaman is not anything to be taken seriously but Wan is not careless, he takes pains to create a believable, dramatic world for Aquaman to exist within. This lends a context of believability to Aquaman, I believe in the universe that Aquaman exists in. It has a lived-in quality even as it is at times slick and stylized to an almost ludicrous degree. Mamoa’s earthy approach to Arthur, that includes some genuine vulnerability and humor, keeps Aquaman, the character and the movie, human and sympathetic. 

Mamoa isn’t going to win an Oscar anytime soon but he’s shown remarkable growth from Justice League to here with Aquaman. The all swaggering macho nonsense of Justice League is here shattered in favor of a lovable lug persona who happens to have super-strength, speed, agility and will. I was concerned that Mamoa would be the weakest part of Aquaman, given his lackluster and limited filmic track record but he’s far better than what I imagined.  

For Mamoa and for James Wan’s remarkable direction that manages to keep this unwieldy, untidy monstrosity in a human and relatable place, I feel comfortable recommending Aquaman to anyone who has been curious about this character. If you liked Jason Mamoa from Game of Thrones or Justice League, you will very much enjoy him in Aquaman where he delivers a superstar performance filled with good humor, charisma and machismo.