Movie Review Mars Needs Moms

Mars Needs Moms (2011) 

Directed by Simon Wells

Written by Simon Wells

Starring Seth Green, Dan Fogler, Mindy Sterling, Joan Cusack

Release Date March 11th, 2011 

Published March 11th, 2011 

Motion Capture, or MoCap for you nerds out there, seems like a lot of extra work for little extra benefit. Take for instance the new movie “Mars Needs Moms” which employed actor Seth Green to portray the 11 year old protagonist only to realize as production began that Green, even attempting a voice, sounded nothing like an 11 year boy. This came after they hired Green, dressed him in a green screen jumpsuit and digitized his image as he acted out the role.

The lack of a proper voice forced the producers to hire a real 11 year old, actor Seth Robert Dusky, to provide the voice of the young protagonist Milo, meaning that the studio paid a premium for Seth Green to jump around in a digital costume, a price they could have cut in half had they simply hired an 11 year old to begin with or, if the role was too taxing for someone that young, hired a stuntman to simply handle the running, jumping and climbing the role required.

None of this would have been necessary at all had Imagemovers and Disney, the companies behind “Mars Needs Moms,” simply used traditional computer animation like the groundbreakers in Disney's own house at Pixar. Instead, millions of dollars were spent to deliver a movie that feels as disjointed and failing as the attempt to have Seth Green pretend to be 11 years old.

“Mars Needs Moms,” based on the popular children's book by Berkley Breathed, is the story of Milo who, after fighting with his mom, finds aliens in her bedroom as they are scampering out the window with mom as their prisoner. Giving chase, Milo finds himself swept up by the alien ship and eventually finds himself on Mars where the population of mostly women has been abducting Earth moms for years in an attempt to clone their parenting techniques.

After briefly being held prisoner himself, Milo is rescued by Gribble (voice of Dan Fogler, Balls of Fury), an overgrown child who claims to be an astronaut but actually has a story very much like Milo's. Gribble agrees to help Milo and they are soon joined by Ki (voice of Elizabeth Harnois), a Martian with a rebellious streak and a love of “flower power”

Together, these three misfits have to rescue Milo's mom (voice of Joan Cusack) from the nasty Supervisor (Mindy Sterling) before mom's memory is destroyed and implanted into a Martian robot.

There is a terrific story somewhere in “Mars Needs Moms.” The action has a strong motivation and the story plays out with a relatively precise logic. The problem is none of the movies are very entertaining. In attempting to give Mars a little grunge the filmmakers made the planet less interesting to look at; Milo and Gribble spend much time in an alien garbage pile which is as visually enticing as it sounds.

The humor of “Mars Needs Moms” is pitched to the ear of young kids who may chuckle here and there but there is not a memorable gut buster, even for the littlest of little ones, in all of “Mars Needs Moms.” This is a movie with a rather dramatic conceit about a boy losing his mom and fighting to get her back; you need a good sense of humor to pair with that or risk boring your core audience whose eyes and ears are yet to be tuned fully for drama.

Robert Zemecki has been trying to make Motion Capture his niche in the animated business, something to separate his brand from that of Pixar, Blue Sky Studios (“Ice Age”) and Dreamworks Animation (“Shrek,” “How to Train Your Dragon”). Unfortunately, three movies into his deal with Disney his company ImageMovers has been temporarily shuttered.

His “A Christmas Carol” was modestly profitable but at an extravagant cost the film was not a world beater at the box office. Now, “Mars Needs Moms” arrives to poor reviews and first weekend box office results that some say could be the worst cost to profit ratio in Hollywood history, barring a strong international rally.

Zemeckis’s insistence on Motion Capture was likely the death knell for “Mars Needs Moms,” a modest story that needed a more modest production if it needed to be made at all. The story simply doesn’t justify the effort involved and likely could have been produced for less than the reported 135 million dollars without all of the trappings and cost of Motion Capture.

It’s a moot point now of course, the film is out there and it has failed. ImageMovers has closed and Mr. Zemeckis hopes to relaunch it as a home for the adult themed, Beatles remake “Yellow Submarine” in 2012. It will likely be a long time before Disney or anyone else attempts another Motion Capture feature for kids like “Mars Needs Moms” and that is as much a commentary on this overwrought technology as it is on the minor pleasures provided by the story of “Mars Needs Moms.”

Movie Review: Without a Paddle

Without a Paddle (2004) 

Directed by Steven Brill 

Written by Jay Leggett, Mitch Rouse 

Starring Seth Green, Matthew Lillard, Dax Shepard, Ethan Suplee, Burt Reynolds 

Release Date August 20th, 2004

Published August 19th, 2004 

Despite what many screenwriters will tell you, writing a screenplay is not that hard. Not hard at all if you're not interested in writing a good script. Simply follow the formula used by the writers of Without A Paddle: take three successful films, say City Slickers, Road Trip, and Deliverance, extract the most basic elements from each, and combine them into your movie. Be sure to read Screenplay Writing for Dummies to fill out your screenplay into the proper salable length and you’re done.

Without A Paddle stars Matthew Lillard, Dax Shepard, and Seth Green as three childhood buddies confronting life as adults after a friend’s death. Lillard is Jerry, a computer programmer who hates his job and can't decide whether or not to settle down with his girlfriend; for you screenwriters looking for character development shorthand, Jerry is a surfer with all of the stereotypical attributes of a surfer to fill out his character. That saves you having to write him witty dialogue or anything that might resemble an interesting character; he is a placeholder for a stereotype.

Dax Shepard is Tom, a part-time criminal, gambler, and full time ladies man. Again, a little screenwriter shorthand, the writers here use other characters’ conversations to establish Tom's colorful background (prison stays, casino trips, orgies). This is helpful because now you don't have to write the character anything interesting to do, simply tell the audience he is wacky and you’re done. Tom is a placeholder for a backstory far more interesting than the character that is written.

Finally, there is Seth Green as Dan, a doctor ,and by far the most successful of the three friends. Now, screenwriters, pay attention to the Dan character because he is an example of a modern comic rule that states that any comedy with more than one male lead must have one of those male leads be super-neurotic. Establish various fears and phobias and then add the nerd accouterments, asthma inhaler, pocket protector, bad glasses and a general fear of women. Again, you save yourself having to write an interesting, funny character.

The plot finds our intrepid trio paying tribute to their dead buddy by taking the canoe trip they had always dreamed of. The trip is special because it involves searching for the lost loot of D. B Cooper, the urban legend who robbed passengers on an airplane and leaped from the plane at an altitude that could only have killed him. It is an intriguing legend -- neither his body nor his loot have never been found -- that has inspired more than one film. If only it had inspired a better film than this.

From there, the boys head for the backwoods of Oregon where they quickly lose their way while fighting off a bear, a crooked sheriff and a pair of redneck dope dealers played by Abe Benrubi and Ethan Suplee. Both Suplee and Benrubi have seen better days. Also on the trip the guys commune with a pair of nutty environmentalist chicks and a backwoodsman played by Burt Reynolds who may hold the key to the Cooper legend.

One rather unique problem in Without A Paddle is one I mentioned briefly earlier in this review and that is the back stories given to key characters. Both the dead friend Billy and Dax Shepard's Tom have back stories that are way more interesting than the story we are forced to watch. Billy has climbed Everest, dated supermodels, and rafted the most difficult rapids in the world. Tom has been in and out of prison with all sorts of oddball encounters with criminals, scam artists, and beautiful woman. We see almost none of that and instead are treated to a very mundane road movie.

Mundane is a rather kind description for a film made by guys who think it's funny to have Burt Reynolds in their movie. Not that they have written anything funny for Mr. Reynolds, they just think that Burt Reynolds is funny. Is it kitsch? Is it ironic in some way? I have no idea and I doubt that poor Mr. Reynolds knows either, or cares as long as the check clears. Reynolds long ago surrendered his likeness to parody and now only acts for the dollars.

We should not be surprised that such a hack movie would be Directed by Steven "Adam Sandler's bitch" Brill. Brill was lenser on both Mr. Deeds and Little Nicky as well as the wretched Disney kids flick Heavyweights with Ben Stiller. Brill may have actually written the book Screenplay Writing for Dummies, he wrote Little Nicky as well as the wrestling comedy (tragedy?) Ready To Rumble and two Mighty Ducks movies. To his defense, however, he is not credited on Without A Paddle; that dubious honor goes to TV veterans Mitch Rouse and Jay Leggett.

The three leads Lillard, Shepard, and Green don't do themselves any favors but they don't embarrass themselves. Lillard, to his credit, is becoming less and less abrasive and off-putting with each role. Green will always have a place as a second or third banana and he will always have endless goodwill for his voicework on TV's Family Guy. As for Shepard, the former Punk'd star, he has a little charm. I like how he bites into a punchline but he never had a chance with this poorly written role. Based on this it's difficult to pass any kind of judgment on Dax Shepard.

I must admit that I laughed during Without A Paddle more than once. However it was mostly a reflex action from remembering funnier jokes from Road Trip or City Slickers and one quick reference that a character makes to Ned Beatty's moment of truth in Deliverance. This film is a perfect example of the kind of assembly line comedy that Hollywood executives excel at making. It's relatively inoffensive, not entirely inept but utterly unmemorable comedy that you will forget as soon as the credits roll.

Movie Review Knockaround Guys

Knockaround Guys (2002) 

Directed by Brian Koppelman

Written by David Levien 

Starring Barry Pepper, Dennis Hopper, Vin Diesel, John Malkovich, Seth Green

Release Date October 11th, 2002 

Published October 10th, 2002 

Knockaround Guys has a unique history. The film began as a chance to capitalize on some of Hollywood’s hot young talent with a post Soprano’s/Goodfella’s Gangster movie. However after being delayed for over a year and a half and the momentum of the Soprano’s fueled gangster chick having dissipated, Knockaround Guys is now the bastard movie of a studio looking to clear its shelves and cut its losses. It’s a shame because it’s not that bad a film, not bad enough to deserve the hand it’s been dealt.

Barry Pepper stars as Matty Demaret, son of a gangster named Benny Chains (Dennis Hopper). Matty’s last name is very well known making it difficult for him to find legitimate work. Matty lost his chance to join the family business when he was 12 years old and he couldn’t finish a hit on a stool pigeon that his Uncle Teddy (John Malkovich) wants him to kill to prove he is ready. After his most recent failure at getting a real job, Matty decides to enter the family business. With the help of his crew he calls the Knockaround Guys, Taylor (Vin Diesel), Marbles (Seth Green) and Scarpa (Andrew Davoli).

Matty takes a job retrieving a bag of cash from friends in Washington state. Not wanting his name to cause problems, Matty sends Marbles, who flies his own plane, to get the bag. Of course there are complications, Marbles stops to refuel in a small Montana town and loses the bag of cash. With his and his fathers lives on the line, Matty gathers his crew and goes to Montana to get the money. In Montana, a corrupt local sheriff has the money and is intent on keeping it.

What I liked about Knockaround Guys is that it’s not what you're expecting. You go in expecting big action and fight scenes and what you get are well fleshed out characters and performances.

Quote me on this, Barry Pepper will someday win an Oscar, not for this film but somewhere down the road. Pepper has a fantastic presence that commands attention, strong eyes and a confident delivery even when forced into goomba dialogue that doesn’t ring true. Vin Diesel shows once again that he is a star. In this film Diesel does the acting that he left out of XXX and shows that, if allowed to act rather than react, he can pull it off. Seth Green however is woefully miscast. His light comedic instincts disrupt a story that would like to be taken seriously.

Green’s performance is a microcosm of what is wrong with Knockaround Guys. The film is unable to balance the at-times broad comedy with its more serious gangster story. The humor should come from the character's personalities but instead it comes from the script and comes off as unnatural.

Director’s Brian Koppelman and David Levien, who also penned the script, have the opportunity to make a new generation gangster movie. Unfortunately, they blow it with unnecessary comedy that blows the tone of the film and renders the film’s more serious moments difficult to take seriously. Still, the performances of Pepper and Diesel are strong enough for me to partially recommend Knockaround Guys.

Movie Review Austin Powers in Goldmember

Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) 

Directed by Jay Roach

Written by Mike Myers, Michael McCullers

Starring Mike Myers, Beyonce, Seth Green, Michael York, Robert Wagner, Vern Troyer, Michael Caine

Release Date July 26th, 2002 

Published July 25th, 2002 

The original Austin Powers was a kick in the pants to the lazy action spy genre that was becoming repetitive and dull. The second film , The Spy Who Shagged Me, achieved the opposite effect, instead of continuing the satire of the first film, the sequel the trend of the moment gross out humor and ended up funny but derivative. Now comes the third film, and while Goldmember is slightly better than it's predecessor, it also lacks the originals sparky satirical bite.

Beginning with a sensational movie within a movie featuring eye popping celebrity cameo's, and quickly upping the ante with another hysterical dance sequence, Goldmember gets off to a spectacular start. Unfortunately it's downhill from there. As we rejoin the story Dr. Evil has returned from space to a new lair in the Hollywood hills where Number 2 (the highly under-appreciated Robert Wagner) has opened an evil talent agency. Agent being the perfect evil profession. 

Dr. Evil is once again ready to launch an evil scheme. However before Dr. Evil can finish his plan involving time travel to the 1970's, a tractor beam, and a meteor, the meeting is broken up by Austin Powers. Dr. Evil is arrested, leading to a Hannibal parody in which Austin needs Dr. Evil's help to find the man who has kidnapped his father played by the legendary Sir Michael Caine. Dr. Evil's newest henchman, Goldmember, is the culprit leading Austin to time travel to the 1970's to find Goldmember and save his father. While back in the 70's Austin hooks up with an old flame named Foxy Cleopatra (the surprisingly game Beyonce Knowles).

From there the film becomes a series of sometimes very funny skits that don't necessarily add up to much of a story. There is a great deal of obvious improv going on which is skillfully done by Myers and company but it ultimately detracts from the story, especially towards the end of the film which turns into a complete mess. At times it seems like ideas were thought of on the spot and weaved into the film as it was going on.

When the film is funny, it is very funny. However when it's not funny, the film is damn near impossible to watch. Especially unfunny is the film’s main conceit built around Austin's need for his father's approval. I don't know about you but I wasn't the least bit interested in knowing that Austin Powers was neglected by his father and frankly the whole storyline is a real downer in a film that should come nowhere near a downer.

The film is populated with big laughs and indeed when the film is funny it's funnier than any other film this year. But the script’s reliance on bits rehashed from the first two films fall intensely flat. Especially when the characters acknowledge the recycled jokes which borders on being too clever for it's own good. Especially unfunny cribbing from The Spy Who Shagged Me is Dr. Evil's rap set to Jay Z. The musical number isn't as funny as it is uncomfortable.

While my review may seem negative, and indeed there are a lot of things I didn't like, the film is still very funny. If the humor had been a little less scatological, and the story slightly more coherent, Goldmember could have been a classic. As it is it's an amusing but unmemorable comedy that is best to wait for on Video and DVD. Though judging by the box office that is a moot point.

On a side note shame on IMDB for giving away the names of the celebrity cameos. You could have waited a few weeks so that people could see it for themselves.

Movie Review The Italian Job

The Italian Job (2003) 

Directed by F Gary Gray 

Written by Donna Powers, Wayne Powers 

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Edward Norton, Seth Green, Jason Statham, Donald Sutherland

Release Date May 30th, 2003 

Published May 29th, 2003 

What is it with Mark Wahlberg and remakes of classic movies? Last year it was the Cary Grant spy flick Charade “reimagined” as The Truth About Charlie. And of course, you remember him in that ape movie. Now it's a 1969 caper flick better known for its car chase then its caper plot. Wahlberg takes the role once inhabited by Sir Michael Caine as a master thief who is double crossed by his partner and wants payback in The Italian Job.

The title is a reference to the film’s opening caper set against the canals of Venice. Inside a beautiful villa, a group of thieves led by Charlie (Wahlberg) and his former mentor John Bridger (Donald Sutherland, inheriting the role from none other than Noel Coward). The rest of the crew includes Charlie's second in command Steve (Edward Norton), the weapons expert Left Ear (Mos Def), the computer expert Lyle (Seth Green) and the wheelman Handsome Rob (Jason Statham).

The so-called Italian job comes off perfectly, and the crew is set to walk away with 35 million in gold. That is until Steve double crosses the crew, steals the gold and shoots John. Charlie and the rest of the crew are nearly killed attempting to get away, setting in motion the film’s revenge plot. Cut to Philadelphia where John's daughter Stella (Charlize Theron) works as a security expert, cracking uncrackable safes for the police department, a skill she picked up from her dad. When Charlie tells her that they have found Steve and plan on getting the gold back, she is down for some payback.

So what makes The Italian Job any different from the numerous heist flicks that have dotted the film landscape in recent years? Pretty much nothing. Like most films of its genre, it has double-crosses, twists, and action. It has murders, a gangster subplot and, of course, a supremely contrived, overly complicated series of heist scenes that involve all sorts of techno-gadgetry and split second timing but always break down to guys with guns.

I realize that it's difficult to criticize a remake for being unoriginal but I must protest the number of unoriginal, uninspired clichés the film employs. Particularly annoying is the use of the age-old reveal scene. The one in which it seems a character is doing one thing but it turns out they are doing something entirely different. In this case, it's Theron cracking a safe, seeming to rob it but in reality, she's cracking it for the cops, as per her job as a security expert. Ugh.

Director F. Gary Gray's one weapon against the been-there-done-that story is his unique visual style and slickness. Gray has that music video honed talent for pacing. It comes from condensing songs to three or four minute visuals for MTV and it's a talent that will someday be recognized. That talent serves Gray well in keeping the audience from thinking too long about the film’s familiar story elements.

Gray is also blessed with an excellent cast headed up by Mark Wahlberg. I'm starting to notice Wahlberg's real knack for melting from topline star into ensemble player. He did it in The Truth About Charlie where he clearly gave the movie away to Thandie Newton. He also did it in Planet of The Apes where, though he was clearly the hero, he still allowed the ape suited Helena Bonham Carter every opportunity to stand in the spotlight. Here, teamed with a charismatic crew of Jason Statham, Mos Def and Seth Green, Wahlberg has an ensemble worthy of ceding the spotlight to. And though I loath to admit it, I actually enjoyed the work of Charlize Theron, who until this film had been to me like nails on a chalkboard.

The Italian Job is familiar and predictable but not dull. It's another Saturday night rental worthy of sitting next to Wahlberg's The Truth About Charlie and Statham's The Transporter and Gray's The Negotiator. Slight, witty action movies that may lack substance but never lacks entertainment value.