Movie Review: Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul

Diary of a Wimpy Kid The Long Haul (2017) 

Directed by David Bowers

Written by Jeff Kinney, David Bowers

Starring Jason Drucker, Alicia Silverstone, Tom Everett Scott, Charlie Wright

Release Date May 19th, 2017

Published May 20th, 2017

What did the world do to deserve a reboot of the “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” franchise? What was it about the mediocre previous entries in this franchise that inspired producers, a screenwriter and a director to believe this was something they should dedicate time and effort to? Well, time anyway, effort, as you will find from reading this review, is a questionable aspect of the making of “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul.”

We are once again brought into the world of Greg Heffley (Jason Drucker) an imaginative kid who continues to find himself in humiliating situations. Greg’s latest humiliation has gone viral after a trip to a family restaurant leads to Greg chasing his little brother Manny (played by twin kids Wyatt and Dylan Waters) into a ballpit where Greg ends up getting his hand stuck in a used diaper and leads to him being referred to in internet memes as ‘Diaper Hands.’

That opening alone could tell you how charmless “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul” is but the film somehow manages to find one new low after another. Greg’s family is taking a road trip to Mee-Maw’s house and along the way Greg wants to trick his parents, slumming former stars Tom Everett Scott and Alicia Silverstone, into taking him to videogame convention while Greg’s brother Rowley (Charlie Wright) acts dumb and adds little to nothing to the story.

The road trip is a mere set up for some of the most disgusting gross out jokes this side of a horror film. Poop, puke and body horror are employed throughout “The Long Haul” to the point where I nearly walked out, something I haven’t done since Samuel L. Jackson graphically fed laxatives to bad guys for an explosive diarrhea gag in the forgotten action movie “Formula 53.” This film is nearly as offensive as that R-Rated movie despite somehow carrying a PG Rating.

“Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul” also features a subplot about another family on a road trip who keep crossing paths with Greg. Jokes about Greg accidentally sleeping in the family’s bed, in his underwear, in a strange man’s bed, is just one of a series of highly questionable gags. The father of this competing family, referred to for some reason as Beardo and played by Chris Coppola is portrayed as wanting to murder Greg throughout the film. The character lapses in and out of a murderous rage each time he see’s Greg and again and again director David Bowers seems to find this notion hilarious.

In one epically bizarre homage Greg somehow winds up in Beardo’s shower and the scene devolves into a remake of the shower scene in “Psycho.” In what universe is a “Psycho” homage a good idea for a family road trip comedy? What kid in the audience is getting that reference? What parent in the audience feels that this homage is remotely appropriate for a family comedy? WHO THINKS THIS IS OK????

Please do not tell me that I am overreacting or that it’s “Just a kid’s movie.” If anything, we should hold children’s entertainment to a higher standard of quality than we do entertainment aimed at older audiences. Children’s tastes are just not evolving and growing. Exposing a child to entertainment that is beneath contempt as “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul” truly is, is irresponsible. This is a film so execrable that it could do permanent damage to a child’s taste; this is the kind of kid’s movie that creates Adam Sandler fans.

I am not being hyperbolic when I say that “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul” is the worst movie of 2017. Gross, unfunny, and genuinely unpleasant to sit through, I am truly shocked that major movie studios still allow such movies to reach mass audiences. This is a dispiriting experience. If ever you need proof that Hollywood does not care about what it puts into the world “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul” is that proof.

Movie Review: Flushed Away

Flushed Away (2006) 

Directed by David Bowers, Sam Fell

Written by Dick Clement, Ian Le Frenais, Chris Lloyd, Joe Keenan

Starring Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Bill Nighy, Andy Serkis, Jean Reno 

Release Date November 3rd, 2006

Published November 6th, 2006 

Aardman animation, the home of Wallace & Gromit and Chicken Run, makes its first foray into computer animation with Flushed Away. This comedy about a rat borne London in the sewers beneath the city combines the charmingly flawed look of Aardman's traditional claymation characters with computer animation from the home of the Shrek movies, Dreamworks animation.

It's quite a successful transition for Aardman who move seamlessly into computer animation that remains true to the artistry of the company's past.

Flushed Away stars the voice of Hugh Jackman as Roddy a pet rat indulging in a high class lifestyle while his human owners are out of town. With the humans gone Roddy is up and out of his cage, watching the big TV and even satisfying his sweet tooth. Roddy's high class vacation from the humans is interrupted by the arrival of a disgusting sewer rat named Sid (Shane Richie) who soon ends up sending Roddy on a shocking trip

In trying to get Sid to leave, Roddy tries to convince him the bathroom toilet is a Jacuzzi. Sid, however, knows a toilet when he see's one and sends Roddy careening down the pipes himself. Finding himself in the shocking midst of a bustling rat metropolis that replicates real London using found materials, Roddy seeks help to get himself back to his high class home.

The person who can help Roddy get home is Rita (Kate Winslet) a fearless independent ships captain who knows every inch of the London sewer. Before she can help Roddy, however, Rita must escape rat mobsters and their boss; the toad (Ian McKellen) who want Rita to give them a jewel she recovered that may or may not have falled from the crown of Queen Elizabeth herself.

After some friction, Roddy and Rita form a good partnership; fending off the mob as they navigate Roddy's way home and Roddy discovers that the toad has more sinister plans than merely retrieving the Queen's jewel from Rita.

Flushed Away was directed by first time directors David Bowers and Sam Fell who tell a lively and fun adventure story. The real success of Fllushed Away however, is the animation which seamlessly combines computer animation with Aardman's signature claymation look that despite having been digitized manages to retain that flaws in the clay charm ala Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

Much of the enjoyment of Flushed Away comes from the voice cast lead by Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet. Jackman gives a playful and fun vocal performance that is reminiscent of his self deprocating work as the host of the Tony Awards. Winslet is pitch perfect in giving Rita's voice strength and vulnerability. The supporting cast, which features Bill Nighy, Andy Serkis and Jean Reno really liven things up with Nighy and Serkis delivering terrific comic relief as mob rats.

There is a hint of romance in Flushed Away between Roddy and Rita. However, because directors Bowers and Fell are making a movie for kids they seem unwilling to commit to a romance between the lead characters. Despite great vocal chemistry between Jackman and Winslet, there is a great awkwardness in the writing and directing of this romance plot. The filmmakers seem to want to make it romantic but because this is a kids movie they just couldn't commit to it.

I can't escape the idea that Flushed Away should be funnier than it is. The film is pleasant and safe for the kids but it lacks the kind of big laughs that a movie like Cars or Shrek provide. That doesn't mean it's not humorous, rather that the humor is rather timid and riskless. See again the romance plot to which the filmmakers can't seem to commit. The romance has a lot of potential, comic or otherwise, but becuase the filmmakers can't decide if they want it or not the whole thing just sorta sits there.

As a product for kids you could do far worse than Flushed Away. The film is a technical marvel in its combination of CG technology and Aardman claymation. The story is pleasant and inoffensive which is a double edged sword. It's safe for the kids but far too safe to be really interesting and funny. I recommend Flushed Away for family audiences but for movie fans looking for the next Cars, Incredibles or Shrek, Flushed Away is not for you.