Movie Review The Greatest Showman

The Greatest Showman (2017) 

Directed by Michael Gracey

Written by Bill Condon, Jenny Bicks

Starring Hugh Jackman, Zendaya, Zac Efron, Michelle Williams, Rebecca Ferguson

Release Date December 20th, 2017

The Greatest Showman is a musical with some inventive visuals and mostly brainless story. Were it not purporting to conflate P.T Barnum of all people to sainthood, I could probably watch it and dispose of it in due course. However, because this is P.T Barnum, one of the world’s foremost charlatans and con men, well, let’s just say that the idea of venerating him, sticks in my craw. Already this year, Hollywood has pretended that Winston Churchill was an inspiring, cuddly granddad and frankly, P.T Barnum is, for me, a bridge too far when it comes to revisionism.

Fans of the comedy/history podcast The Dollop know the real P.T Barnum. In a live recorded episode in Barnum’s adopted home of New York City, hosts Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds laid bare the legend of P.T Barnum in all of his phony, humbuggery, glory. As Dave wove the tale of P.T Barnum, from his time taking advantage of an aged, black woman whom he purchased from a fellow con man, to the time he fooled people into believing he’d procured a mermaid which turned out to be a horrifying combination of a monkey sewn to the body of a large fish, P.T Barnum is revealed in The Dollop to be a villain over and over again, no matter how willing and even entertained his victims may have been.

So, yes, I went to The Greatest Showman with a chip on my shoulder and one that remained there throughout the faltering run of witless pop anthems passing off mediocre messages of empowerment centered on a man who would have sooner been caught dead than be seen as anything other than above the people who bought tickets for his own show and especially above those who were performing for the price of that ticket.

Find my full length review in the Geeks Community on Vocal. 

Movie Review The Iron Claw

The Iron Claw (2023) 

Directed by Sean Durkin

Written by Sean Durkin

Starring Zac Efron, Holt McCallany, Harris Dickinson, Jeremy Allen White, Lily James, Maura Tierney 

Release Date December 22nd, 2023 

Published ?

Instead of reviewing what I think is a very bad movie, The Iron Claw, I am going to make a list of the many things the movie gets wrong combined with a list of things the film omitted that might have made the film better. As a wrestling fan, I am remarkably familiar with the controversies, the tragedies, and the triumphs of the Von Erich family. The misery porn that director Sean Durkin is engaged in in The Iron Claw is nothing compared to the real life tragedies and controversies that the Von Erich family were part of from the late 1970s and into the early 1990s. 

What The Iron Claw gets wrong: Spoilers ahead, it's based on a true story, but the movie fictionalizes so much that, I guess, this stuff qualifies as spoilers. 

The Timeline 

The Iron Claw proceeds essentially from 1980 when Kevin Von Erich, played by Zac Efron, met and married his wife, Pam, played by Lily James. While at Kevin's wedding, we see Kevin's brother, David, played by Harris Dickinson fall ill. He's vomiting blood and Kevin advises David not to take a trip to Japan the following week, advising David to get some rest first. David assures Kevin he will be fine and he goes on the trip to Japan. Cut to, Fritz Von Erich alone at his kitchen table, distraught. While on tour in Japan, David suffered from Enteritis and died in his hotel room. 

From Kevin Von Erich's marriage in 1980 to David's death from either Enteritis or a drug overdose, depending on whose story you believe, were four years. Four years in which David Von Erich had the biggest successes of his career. In 1980 he broke away from his father and traveled the country working in Florida, where he played a bad guy for a while, a rite of passage in the industry that would not have been afforded to him by his father. He also went to Missouri and was able to win the Missouri Heavyweight Championship, arguably the biggest solo honor of his short career. 

There appears to be little justification for compressing four years into one week and it only serves to remove the devastating emotional impact of David's death, which is reduced to a single scene of Fritz telling Kevin that David had died. Tell don't show is a plague on The Iron Claw as so many significant incidents in the lives and careers of the Von Erich's are either ignored completely or we are told that they happened offscreen. 

Kerry Von Erich's personal life 

In The Iron Claw you would assume that Kerry Von Erich was a lonely, drug addicted playboy whose only life was in the wrestling ring. That's partially true. But what The Iron Claw fails to tell you, I assume because they were cut for time, is that Kerry was married and had children. In the movie, Kerry's marriage and his children, including future pro wrestler Lacy Von Erich, are never mentioned and completely ignored. As Kerry spirals toward his tragic, far to young death by suicide, his brother asks him about some random woman that he'd brought home for the holidays. She was some woman he met on the road or something. He never asks about Kerry's wife or mentions his children as a reason for Kerry not to take his own life. 

More Timeline shenanigans 

If David's death happened a week after Kevin's marriage in 1981, then Kerry Von Erich won the NWA World Heavyweight Championship and at the David Von Erich Parade of Champions event a little over a month and a half later. And, according to the timeline in The Iron Claw, Kerry went out and got very drunk and crashed his motorcycle and lost part of his leg that same night. Naturally, that didn't happen that way. Kerry won the title in 1984, a little over a month after David died that same year. Kerry didn't suffer his motorcycle accident and the amputation of the lower part of his right leg until 1986, long after he'd lost the NWA world title. 

The remarkable and tragic story of Kerry's motorcycle accident. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review: The Greatest Beer Run Ever

The Greatest Beer Run Ever (2022) 

Directed by Peter Farrelly

Written by Peter Farrelly, Peter Currie, Pete Jones 

Starring Zac Efron, Russell Crowe, Viggo Mortensen, Bill Murray 

Release Date September 30th, 2022 

Apple TV 

Leave it to Peter Farrelly to take a great story and pull its teeth. In fairness, he was awarded a Best Picture statue for doing just that to the life of Jazz music legend Don Shirley and his longtime friend Nick Vallelonga. There however, Vallelonga takes much of the blame for the mediocrity. It was Vallelonga who wrote the self-serving screenplay, much at the expense of the story of Shirley which was lost amid the eye-rolling, uplifting pap in Vallelonga's script and Farrelly's bland direction. Of course it won Best Picture, Hollywood loves to reward uplifting pap. 

The proof of concept for my theory about Farrelly being the go-to director for taking a good story and rendering it supremely mediocre however, comes with his latest directorial effort, The Greatest Beer Run Ever. Here we have a story so insane, so unbelievable, it should make an amazing movie. The true story has a guy from New Jersey deciding that he's going to take cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon to his buddies fighting in Vietnam in 1967. John 'Chickie' Donahue really did this! It's impossible to believe right? It should be an amazing movie. 

Sadly, The Greatest Beer Run Ever is directed by Peter Farrelly, a director whose movies could be sold as baby-proof for their remarkable lack of hard edges. That's not to say that Farrelly's movies aren't controversial, rather they are controversial for all the wrong reasons. Green Book is an almost complete fabrication, a vile white washing of the life of Don Shirley in favor of burnishing the egotistical legend of Nick Vallelonga. Similarly, The Greatest Beer Run of All Time should be a sharp elbowed rebuke of America's involvement in Vietnam. Instead, it's a soft headed comedy about friendship and bravery, tempered with being sad for a few people who didn't come home. 

Chickie Donahue (Zac Efron) is beloved in his small New Jersey neighborhood though not so much at home. A Merchant Marine by trade, Chickie tends to only work when he feels like it and spends most nights getting drunk in a bar owned by The Colonel (Bill Murray). Chickie and his buddies are former military men who went through Korea as kids while the specter of World War 2 hangs over the heads. While at the bar watching brutal footage of the war in Vietnam on the news, Chickie and his friends are upset that the media only shows the horror and seems to dismiss the soldiers who are fighting and dying. 

Click here for my full length, angry, review of The Greatest Beer Run Ever at Geeks.Media. 

Movie Review High School Musical 3

High School Musical 3 (2009) 

Directed by Kenny Ortega

Written by Peter Barsocchini 

Starring Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Lucas Grabeel

Release Date October 24th, 2009

Published October 25th, 2009

To criticize High School Musical 3 is not unlike disciplining a puppy. Sure he knocked over plants and a table, but he's so darn cute. You can't stay mad. High School Musical 3 didn't exactly knock over plants but it is exceptionally mediocre for such a nationwide phenomena.

Allow me to beat you to the punch. I am fully aware that this movie was not made with me in mind. High School Musical 3 exists specifically to entertain pre-teen girls. I get that. But, just because it may hit that target perfectly doesn't make it any less mediocre. Aww, puppy, I'm sorry.

Zac Efron from Hairspray stars in HSM3 as basketball star Troy Bolton. As we meet him, his team is losing the big game. However, there's no deficit that a big song and dance number cannot overcome. Thanks to a cameo from Troy's ethereal girlfriend Gabriela Vanessa Hudgens), angelic in flowing white and spotlight, Troy makes the big shot to tie the game and his team wins.

From there the focus shifts to the final big musical of the drama season for east high school seniors. Troy, Gabriela, Troy's buddy Chad (Corbin Bleu) and his girlfriend Taylor (Monique Coleman) are forced into the show by friendly, sweet drama nerd Kelsi (Oleysa Rulin). She needs her friends to avoid yet another all Sharpay show.

Sharpay Evans (Ashley Tisdale) along with her twin brother/choreographer Ryan (Lucas Grabeel) is the diva of the drama department. A clueless wannabe star, out only for her own glory, Sharpay provides what amounts to a plot as she schemes to get the big musical number away from Gabriela and get a kiss from Troy, even if it is just acting.

Don't worry, HSM3 was never going to let her get away with it. There is barely an ounce of plot in HSM3. This is a movie about kids singing their hearts out, with no room to build a believable storyline or provide characters with honest to goodness arcs. That might distract from soundtrack sales.

The fact is, the only reason we have HSM3 in theaters is because execs at Disney are still kicking themselves over giving away HSM2 on the Disney channel where 17 million tweens and teens tuned in to sing along. They weren't about to blow it this time and thus, with a little kick up the budget ladder, HSM3 arrives in all of its harmless, G-rated glory.

Here is my conundrum. On the one hand, it's nice that there is something so simple and sweet for kids to watch. Why there is nary even an advertisement in HSM3, kids actually use cellphones for their intended purpose, as phones. The movie exists in a wonderful tween/teen fantasyland where you wouldn't mind your kids residing for a little while.

On the other hand, as a movie, High School Musical 3 is supremely mediocre. The music has a higher sugar content than anything in the theater lobby while the non-musical scenes clunk about with lines like "My heart doesn't know it's in high school".

Look, I feel that any movie intended for my kids should aim a little higher. Aspire to be something more. Like Wall-E or The Incredibles or anything Pixar, aspire to more than just to stimulate the part of the brain that responds to cute people singing catchy tunes.

I don't want HSM3 to get all angst ridden and tortured over some major issue but how about at the very least jettisoning the disturbing stereotypes. The character of Chad played by Corbin Bleu is an african american who is never seen without a basketball under his arm.

Last summer's Hairspray broke barriers by being a bubbly musical and a lovely parable out race. The film had depth and still kept its high energy dance routines. At the very least, High School Musical could give us a storyline to invest in. But it doesn't. Instead, much like a puppy, it's all cuteness.

And who can really criticize a puppy. High School Musical is too harmless for me to trash it too much, or even not to recommend it. Parents are desperate for safe entertainment for their tween and teen kids and this is exactly what they are looking for. Why should I rain on the parade?

Take the kids and sing along to High School Musical 3.

Movie Review: 17 Again

17 Again (2009) 

Directed by Burr Steers 

Written by Jason Filardi 

Starring Zac Efron, Matthew Perry, Leslie Mann, Thomas Lennon, Michelle Trachtenberg 

Release Date April 17th, 2009 

Published April 18th, 2009 

Zac Efron is a star. Granted, his fanbase hasn't passed the 6th grade yet but still. The kid has got It, that indefinable quality. That thing that draws people to you and makes them want to follow you wherever you go. Zac Efron has that talent and when he masters it he will be a huge star, 6th Grade and up.

17 Again stars Zac Efron as Mike who in High School was captain of the basketball team on the fast track to a scholarship, college and who knows from there. Then, his girlfriend Scarlett, played as a teen by Allison Miller, tells him she's pregnant. Mid-game Mike throws it all away and leaves to be with Scarlett.

20 years later and 2 kids later Mike, now played by Matthew Perry, is miserable. He regrets walking out of that game and not getting his scholarship. Having immediately taken a miserable job right out of high school, he finds himself a sales driod at a pharmaceutical company where he is passed over for promotions by people just out of college.

His misery has cost him his marriage and kids. Scarlett (Leslie Mann) resents being treated as the reason Mike is a failure. Thus, she has started divorce proceedings. His kids, 17 year old Maggie (Michelle Trachtenberg) and 16 year old Alex (Sterling Knight) are basically strangers. She's dating the high school bully while Alex is getting beat up by said bully.

Tossed out of the house, Mike is staying with his best pal from high school Ned (Thomas Lennon), a nerd turned multi-millionaire nerd. Ned sleeps in a replica Speeder from Stars Wars, what does that tell you. He too is somewhat irritated by Mike's sadsack qualities but is thankfully more tolerant than most.

One day when Mike goes to his old High School to see his kids he meets a kindly janitor (Brian Doyle Murray) and confesses he would give anything to do it all over again. Later, seeing the janitor on the ledge of a bridge in a heavy rainstorm, Mike races to stop the old man only to fall in the river himself. The next morning he finds he is 17 Again only he didn't go back in time.

Now, he has the chance to be the Big Man on Campus again while really getting to know his two kids and see what modern high school is like. Oh, and then there is Scarlett and some very awkward moments where the word cougar and and the vulgar term Milf are uttered. Ugh.

Ok, so the movie 17 Again is not a very original or smart movie. You can get that quite easy from my description. And yet, I still recommend it. Yes, I recommend 17 Again. I do it because Zac Efron is a star. The kid comes into his own in this movie. He has presence, charisma and a terrific talent for self deprecating humor.

The self deprecation can be deceiving among the very good looking. For some it can seem condescending. For Efron it's an effortless goofball quality that plays very genuine. Indeed there is an earnestly unaffected quality to Efron in this film that is missing from the skill-less High School Musical films.

Those movies were directed with a minimum of talent for storytelling and character development. Director Burr Steers on the other hand has little to rely on other than storytelling and character development and thus coaxes from Efron a performance that carries 17 Again over even the largest of pitfall cliches.

Do not be mistaken, 17 Again is far from great. It's far too pat and predictable to break out of its genre constrictions. It comes down to Efron entirely to make this work and that he pulls it off is a true test of his talent and star power. He may have become well known thanks to High School Musical but Zac Efron becomes a star in 17 Again.

Movie Review: Charlie St Cloud

Charlie St. Cloud (2010) 

Directed by Burr Steers

Written by Craig Pearce, Lewis Colick 

Starring Zac Efron, Amanda Crew, Donal Logue, Charlie Tahan, Ray Liotta, Kim Basinger 

Release Date July 30th, 2010 

Published July 30th, 2010 

“Charlie St. Cloud” is baffling in the most unique way. A supernatural drama that combines soft focus goofiness of a Nicholas Sparks romance with the 'I see dead people' conceit of “The Sixth Sense,” “Charlie St. Cloud” in the end leaves one wondering just which characters were alive and which were dead. How many films can claim to be this strangely flabbergasting?

Zac Efron stars as Charlie St. Cloud, class valedictorian of a small northwestern town where sailing is the sport of choice. Charlie and his little brother Sammy (Charlie Tahan) are first glimpsed pulling off a dangerous move to win a local sailing contest and Charlie is said to be heading off to Stanford in the fall on a partial sailing scholarship.

Charlie's plans are destroyed one fateful night when, while he was supposed to watch his brother, he sneaks out to go to a party. Sammy catches him before he can leave and insists on coming with. On the drive they are hit from behind by a drunk driver and sideswiped by an oncoming truck. Sammy is killed almost instantly; Charlie is brought back miraculously thanks to the efforts of a paramedic played by Ray Liotta.

Flash ahead five years and Charlie hasn't left for Stanford. Instead he works as a caretaker at the cemetery where his brother is buried. A vision of Sammy after his funeral convinced Charlie that his little brother is still around and the two meet at sunset in the forest each day for a game of catch.

Enter Tess (Amanda Crew) a fellow sailor who attended high school with Charlie though he doesn't remember her. She is about to leave on an around the world sailing trek but not before the two bond a little over a mutual love of boats. The two spend more time together just before she leaves for her trip but the more time Charlie spends with Tess the more complacent he becomes about Sammy until he is forced to choose between the girl of his dreams and his dead little brother.

At least that is kind of what I think was happening in Charlie St. Cloud. I am honestly unsure what the hell was going with this film's bizarre supernatural plot and confusing screenplay. By the end I could not tell which characters were alive and which were dead.

SPOILER:

Director Burr Steers throws a lot of bizarre complications into this story including a love scene in the cemetery that grows creepy even beyond the setting once the story adds some unique details about Tess that make Charlie look really bizarre and creepy unless Charlie is dead, which he may be. I would call that a spoiler maybe but I honestly don't know if any of the characters in this film were alive or dead, in limbo, in memory or a dream. “Charlie St. Cloud” makes “Inception” look like the picture of narrative clarity.

Adding to the troubled story is the soft focus cinematography of Enrique Chediak who paints everything like a Hallmark Hall of Fame low budget TV production. Long soft focus close-ups of Charlie brooding in a bar, Charlie brooding over coffee, Charlie brooding on the ledge of a lighthouse are dropped in repeatedly throughout the film lending a bland sameness to the look of the film.

Zac Efron does what he can with his goofy role, playing Charlie as a lonely, angst-ridden weirdo who happens to look like Zac Efron. Having to deal with multiple dead or seemingly dead characters that no one else can see, Efron not only must brood alone, he has numerous scenes played just talking aloud to himself and occasionally talking to ducks. As I said, the film is very confusing.

Bizarre to the point of utter bafflement, “Charlie St. Cloud” combines the worst elements of a Nicholas Sparks adaptation with M. Night Shyamalan at his most self involved and aloof. Burr Steers is a once promising director now floundering in his attempt to bring his indie film cred to mainstream features. In “Charlie St. Cloud” Steers attempts to subvert convention by sheer oddity and fails to deliver either quirky indie-ness or mainstream accessibility.

I could almost recommend “Charlie St. Cloud” for its sheer oddity. I’m not going to but I could. The film is so weird and confusing and just plain bad in such a unique way that I can almost appreciate it on an ironic, sort of camp level. If you like movies you can make fun of with your friends, ala “Mystery Science Theater,” you may be just the audience for “Charlie St. Cloud.”