Movie Review Marmaduke

Marmaduke (2010) 

Directed by Tim Dey

Written by Tim Rasmussen, Vince Di Meglio 

Starring Owen Wilson, Lee Pace, Judy Greer, William H. Macy, Steve Coogan, Fergie, Emma Stone, Marlon Wayans 

Release Date June 4th, 2010 

I have a distinct memory of enjoying Marmaduke as a little kid. Not the newspaper comic, for me, he was a side character amid the Heathcliff Saturday morning cartoon. Marmaduke was a large dog who always found trouble based on the fact that he was so large. Adapting Marmaduke for the big screen was... a choice. It is a well-known character with a minor fanbase, though most have grown out of Marmaduke or barely remember the comic. The film adaptation has to reinvent Marmaduke and wow, more.... choices. 

Owen Wilson stars as the voice of Marmaduke who finds himself moving in with the family of a marketing executive named Phil Winslow (Lee Pace) and his wife Debbie (Judy Greer). Phil needs Marmaduke to be his spokes-dog for a dog food brand but Marmaduke is too ill-behaved. He just wants to run around and find trouble with his new friend Carlos (George Lopez), and his kind of love interest, Mazie. But, when things really get out of hand, Phil sends Marmaduke to a dog trainer. There, he falls in with a popular crowd that threatens his new friends in the neighborhood. 

Despite his new friends, Marmaduke cannot resist wanting to be part of the popular pedigree crowd where the gorgeous Jezebel (Stacy 'Fergie' Ferguson) runs with the dog park's resident bad boy Bosco (Kiefer Sutherland). Naturally conflict ensues between Marmaduke and Bosco and the bonds of friendship, especially with Maizie, will be tested. Meanwhile Phil is ignoring his family, spending all his time working with his oddball new boss (William H. Macy, slumming for a paycheck) and only Marmaduke realizes how bad things are getting. 

These two stories coalesce boringly into one story by the end and don't be shocked when things end exactly as you predict. Marmaduke, directed by Tom Dey (Failure to Launch), was never meant to change the way we see kids movies. It was not meant to break boundaries or change the way kids see their world, it's a mindless bit of escapism with simpleminded morality at its center. The catchphrase for the film may as well be 'can't we all just get along,' it's literally that simple.

There is nothing wrong with that but the best kid’s films, the Pixar films, have the ability to deliver the same message without being treacle and simpleminded in the ways Marmaduke is. Director Dey and screenwriters Vince De Meglio and Tim Rasmussen cut paste their plot from other, similar films like Garfield or the Chipmunks, add special effects and voila. The special effects used to animate the giant mutt are strong enough that you don't take to much notice of them. The hallmark of success when you don't have the budget or the skill to dazzle ala James Cameron is to make sure the effects aren't noticeable; Marmaduke easily achieves this modest task.

I watched Marmaduke with a class of 2nd graders on a field trip. They laughed at the fart jokes and when Phil fell out of the bed and they squealed at the closing doggie dance sequence but for the most part they were silent and respectful. Some twitched in their seats a little but for the most part they were quiet, attentive and a little bored. Afterward, the kids talked about how much they loved dogs but by the time they were back on the bus the movie and its dull messages were long forgotten replaced by the want for ice cream and plans for the rest of the day, and a little bit of dozing here and there.

Maybe this benign effect is all that can be expected of a movie like Marmaduke. For me, I wish more children's films had the ambition to engage the minds of children, to challenge them to find central ideas and morals and explore them with their imagination. The creators of Marmaduke have neither the ambition nor, seemingly, the talent to attempt such a thing. On that count, Marmaduke is a waste of screen time. Parents, take heart Toy Story 3 arrives soon.

Movie Review: Gringa

Gringa (2023) 

Directed by Marny Eng, E.J Foerster 

Written by Patrick Hasburgh 

Starring Steve Zahn, Judy Greer, Jess Gabor, Roselyn Sanchez

Release Date April 21st, 2023 

Published April 18th, 2023 

Gringa stars Jess Gabor as Marge, an awkward teenager struggling in school and on the soccer field. Marge's mom, Margie (Judy Greer), is a busy but not quite successful real estate agent. Though she loves her daughter, the two see little of each other as Margie hustles to give them a life. Everything changes when Margie is killed in a tragic car accident. Facing the prospect of moving to Arizona with her stern and unyielding grandparents, Marge decides to set her own path. 

Having learned that her former soccer star and current deadbeat dad, Jackson (Steve Zahn), is living in a beachfront shack in small village in Mexico, Marge decides to sneak across the border for an impromptu reunion. What she finds is a debauched alcoholic who when he isn't asleep is usually drunk or surfing. Dad also coaches Girl's Soccer in town, an obligation he gave himself in order to win the attention of Elsa (Roselyn Sanchez), a local bar owner, way out of Jackson's league, but who can't fully resist his charm. 

The dramatic father-daughter reunion is sad but also deeply awkward. Neither knows how to take the other. Jackson is sympathetic to the death of Margie, he did love her once, but he's also a stunted man-child so his sympathies only go so far. Marge herself is rightfully bitter toward the father who abandoned her. These early scenes have a strong emotional charge as Jess Gabor and Steve Zahn wrestle with the complicated emotions at play. These are the strongest moments of Gringa. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review: Elizabethtown (Original Review)

Elizabethtown (2005) 

Directed by Cameron Crowe 

Written by Cameron Crowe 

Starring Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, Judy Greer, Susan Sarandon, Paul Schneider

Release Date October 14th, 2005 

Published October 13th, 2005

For me, a new Cameron Crowe film is like the release of Lord Of The Rings. I will line up days in advance, I will play the soundtracks of his previous films at obscene volumes and I will pore over the texts of the script as if they held the answer to life itself. Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous, Say Anything and Singles are not just any other movies.  To me they are masterpieces.

So I have been anticipating the release of Elizabethtown ever since the final credits on Vanilla Sky rolled off the screen in 2001. To say I am a little disappointed in Elizabethtown is one of the hardest things I have ever written. By the standards of an average movie Elizabethtown is great. By the standards of Cameron Crowe, however, Elizabethtown is a step backwards.

Orlando Bloom plays Drew Baylor, who looks like a man on his way to his own execution. Drew is a shoe designer for a Nike-esque company in Oregon and his first creation, a shoe called 'Spasmodica', has just failed so spectacularly that the company stands to lose nearly a billion dollars on it's recall. As Drew's boss (Alec Baldwin in a minor cameo) explains, the shoe was so poorly received by the public that one industry observer was quoted as saying the shoe could cause millions of people to return to bare feet.

Fired from the only job he has ever known, Drew returns home with dark intentions. He plans to kill himself and begins fashioning a very unique suicide device involving a kitchen knife and some workout equipment.  It must be seen to be believed. Drew's attempt is foiled by his cell phone's unending musical ring which he cannot resist answering.

The call is from his younger sister Heather (Judy Greer).  Their father has died. On a trip back to his hometown, the tiny Kentucky hamlet Elizabethtown, Dad had a heart attack. At his mother Hollie's (Susan Surandon) request Drew must go to Elizabethtown and retrieve the body for cremation in Oregon and represent the family in whatever tribute the Elizabethtown Baylor's have planned. The two sides of the family have rarely had contact.

On his flight from Oregon to Kentucky Drew meets Claire, a chirpy stewardess who takes a special interest in making sure he knows where he is going. Claire is obviously attracted to Drew despite, or maybe because, of his morose attitude. She gives him directions to get to Elizabethtown and her phone number in case he gets lost and it seemingly could have ended right there.

When Drew finally arrives in Elizabethtown the culture shock and his newfound family are so overwhelming that he needs to talk to someone and Claire is his choice. The two talk an entire night and get together to watch the sun come up. They agree to be friends but it's clear both are fighting fate.  They are meant for each other.

That is the very bare bones of Cameron Crowe's Elizabethtown, yet another very personal and deeply felt story for Crowe but also one he can't quite get a handle on. There are three important plots in Elizabethtown. First is Drew's failure at work.  Second, the family drama including his father's death and meeting his extended family.  And third is his romance with Claire. To make this movie work Crowe needed to coalesce each of these three plots into one story. Unfortunately it just never happens.

I enjoyed both lead performances by Bloom and Dunst but the relationship is so far unrelated from the family drama and Drew's work drama that it feels almost like a separate movie. Dunst delivers a character that is very unique.  Some might say that she is more fantasy than anything, but I believed that this character would do the things she does. She is quirky and forgiving and troubled in her own ways.  It's a complex part that has great potential but there are scenes missing, important scenes and dialogue that might better have integrated her into the rest of the story.

Bloom's performance is complicated for different reasons. He was not the first  choice for the role.  Initially Ashton Kutcher was cast as Drew. Bloom was the better choice of the two but because Cameron Crowe's male protagonists are so well remembered Bloom is competing with the ghosts of the past and he pales in comparison to the likes of Tom Cruise, John Cusack, Campbell Scott and even young Patrick Fugit from Almost Famous.

Cameron Crowe does not do Bloom any favors in his scripting or direction. Much of Elizabethtown plays like Cameron Crowe's greatest hits. Dunst's character is a mixture of Renee Zellweger's needy but lovable single mom in Jerry Magure and Kate Hudson's ethereal groupie from Almost Famous. Drew's wacky extended family in Elizabethtown are older versions of the wacky neighbors from Singles or the inebriated party goers from Say Anything. And Drew himself carries the DNA of both Jerry Maguire and Lloyd Dobler.

Even the film score, once again lovingly crafted by Crowe's wife Nancy Wilson, feels as if it were lifted from Almost Famous. Check out the scene just after Susan Surandon's exceptional speech at the memorial. Drew and Claire meet in the hallway and the acoustic guitar score comes in just a little too loud. The scene is a poignant moment where Drew tries once again to explain that he and Claire cannot be together. The music in the scene is lovely but sounds almost identical to music used in a scene in Almost Famous where William tells Penny she has been sold out by the band and won't continue with the tour. This may be just the anal retentive Crowe fan in me coming out but it bothers me to hear Crowe simply repeat himself.

Thankfully, the same cannot be said of the film's pop soundtrack. Once again Cameron Crowe brings together an eclectic mix of classic hits and forgotten or overlooked favorites that compliment the story and occasionally comment on it. In the film's climactic scenes in which Drew drives his fathers ashes cross country back to his home in Oregon he is accompanied by an amazing soundtrack that Claire made for him as a sort of musical map of America. The reasoning is contrived but the emotion these scenes and songs evoke are real and very moving. No director mixes pop music, storytelling, and imagery as effectively as Cameron Crowe.

Cameron Crowe movies are known for romance, smart characters, and great music. Elizabethtown overflows with each of those elements but, unfortunately, Crowe cannot corral them all into one story. Each of the individual characters from Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst in the leads to Susan Surandon, Paul Schneider and Loudon Wainwright in supporting roles are all interesting characters but they are all parts of different movies. Bloom shares scenes with each of them and yet seemingly never at the same time.

The romance of Elizabethtown works in individual scenes such as Drew and Claire's all night phone session and the first night they make love and the aftermath the following morning. You definitely root for them to be together. But the movie is as much about this romance as it is about Drew's family, which is in a whole other film.

The family drama is a strong plot. Susan Surandon is exceptional in her one big scene at the memorial in which she does standup comedy, tap dances and reconnects with her extended family by opening up about how much she and they all loved her husband. Crowe does an excellent job of establishing the late Mitch Baylor as another member of the cast. Lovely sepia toned flashbacks of Drew with his father, perfectly aged photos and even the actor laying in the coffin with just the slightest hint of a smile that Drew dubs whimsical all serve to help the audience feel the loss.

The extended family and friends are an interesting collection. I really enjoyed Paul Schneider as Drew's cousin, a failed rock star with an out of control son and a difficult relationship with his father played by Loudon Wainwright. There was some lovingly detailed work in crafting Schneider and Wainwright's characters that are hinted at but the film does not have time to get too into that.

The film would work better if Claire had been as much a part of the family drama in Elizabethtown as she is the romance plot. Crowe never connects her to the family drama, which could have been done simply by making her a family friend from Elizabethtown and not some random stewardess. Put Claire in Elizabethtown, connect her to the family and maybe you can connect the two separate stories. Because she is outside of it the movie is disjointed and it never comes together.

For me, writing even a slightly negative review of a Cameron Crowe movie is torture, but it's undeniable. Aside from the awesome soundtrack, Elton John's "My Father's Gun" is my new favorite song by the way, Elizabethtown only works as a sketch of a good Cameron Crowe movie. A number of good scenes and good characters  great music but not a great movie. Fans of Cameron Crowe will find a lot of specific things to love in Elizabethtown: scenes, characters, music. I would recommend it for them with the warning that they may be disappointed by the film as a whole.

Movie Review Love Happens

Love Happens (2009)

Directed by Brandon Camp

Written by Brandon Camp, Mike Thompson

Starring Aaron Eckhart, Jennifer Aniston, Dan Fogler, Judy Greer, Martin Sheen

Release Date September 18th, 2009 

Published September 18th, 2009 

Is there possibly a less passion inspiring romance title than Love Happens? Love eh? Love Ensues? Love Stumbled Upon? If only the low watt title were the film's biggest problem. Oh no. Love Happens is riddled with troubles. Quirk ridden stand ins where characters should. A storyline as predictable as sunrise. And then there is a damn bird.

Aaron Eckhart stars in Love Happens as self help guru Burke Ryan. He's Dr. Phil but handsome. Burke lost his wife 3 years ago in a car accident which led to him writing a book about living with loss. Now he travels the country with his faithful sidekick (Dan Fogler), performing workshops to help people cope with loss.

Finding himself back in the city where his wife died, Seattle, Burke is looking to get in and get out before his past catches up with him. Literally while he isn't looking, Burke stumbles upon Eloise, a flower shop owner with one weird quirk on top of another. She likes to write obscure words on walls behind paintings in hotel hallways. (I said it was a weird quirk).

He is smitten immediately but she blows him by pretending to be a mute. Her ruse doesn't hold up and their next encounter is an argument. An argument that of course means they are destined to fall in love. Destined though they may be they first must be kept apart and a predictable secret from his past is supplied solely for the purpose of keeping them at a distance.

Don't worry, I won't spoil the big reveal of Burke's secret, the movie will do that in the first 5 to 10 minutes. Anyone who has seen movies like Sweet November or Return To Me or really any similarly hoary cliched romance won't need a map to find this ending well before it arrives for the characters.

It is the nature of a romantic comedy to be a little predictable, not many end with the lovers parting ways. Thus, these movies are more about the journey than the destination. Unfortunately, this is one lame journey. One that feels twice as long as it really is.

Brandon Camp is a first time director whose experience is mostly in TV drama. His roots likely contribute to the episodic, disjointed storytelling that devotes a good deal of time to filler material to pad itself out beyond what might have been better suited to something of 44 minutes plus commercials.

Most egregious of the filler material is a subplot involving a man who lost his little boy and attends Burke's seminar. While we are supposed to like Burke the film keeps making him out as a shyster. Then he alternately attempts to help and rip off this pained father, effectively portrayed by John Carroll Lynch, in serious scenes sandwiched between goofball romance scenes.

Love Happens has about as much consistency in tone as it does energy in that stupid title. One minute we are in the midst of both characters in a wacky moment. Next we are watching people who have lost a family member be taken in by a shyster who is supposed to be our hero.

Wow, what a mess this movie is. From the bizarre maudlin subplots to the lame secret right down to the two main characters who aren't so much characters as a collection of traits given to Eckhardt and Aniston to drop in as they wish. She likes writing on walls. He's afraid of elevators. She keeps copies of other people's love notes. He might be an alcoholic.

Not one of these traits has any kind of payoff, at least not one that makes any difference to the main plot. The traits exist only to give the actors something to do in between the bouts of mind-numbingly awful dialogue that includes not just 'when life gives you lemons....' but also 'if you love something, set it free'. Ugh.

And then there is the damn bird. Folks, if you are a member of PETA you will want to skip Love Happens. The bird goes unharmed, for the most part but its treatment in the film is beyond idiotic. Worse, it assumes that we in the audience are just as dumb as the movie.

Love Happens is an abysmal bit of treacle aimed at the soft hearted and softer headed. Not even the uncontainable charms of the wonderful Jennifer Aniston can bring this treacle any more life than that shrug shouldered title, Love Happens.

Movie Review: 27 Dresses

27 Dresses (2008) 

Directed by Anne Fletcher

Written by Aline Brosh McKenna 

Starring Katherine Heigl, James Marsden, Malin Akerman, Edward Burns, Judy Greer 

Release Date January 18th, 2008

Published January 17th, 2008

I'm not supposed to like 27 Dresses. It is what has come to be called a 'chick flick'. A derogatory term for a movie made for women only. This limiting mentality has at once a strong shorthand but also speaks to the emotional immaturity of men across this country. Anything a little too feminine and men get uncomfortable. Weddings, babies, women in general, make men uncomfortable and it isn't manly to be uncomfortable.

I have never really understood this mentality even as I am able to diagnose it. I've never had a problem being in touch with my emotions or expressing how I feel to others. Maybe that is why I can so easily enjoy movies like Legally Blonde, Just Like Heaven, My Best Friend's Wedding or Something New, some of my all time favorite movies written off by men as 'chick flicks'.

27 Dresses is indeed another movie written off as a chick flick. It's all, in touch with it's emotions, thoughtful, sweet, smart and sexy. All things that make most men uncomfortable, no babies though.

Jane (Katherine Heigl) has been nursing a mad crush on her boss George (Ed Burns) since she began working for his clothing company two years ago. Now, with a little liquid courageshe is ready to confess her feelings when her little sister Tess (Malin Akerman) walks right up to George and the two fall madly in love. Naturally, Kate is called upon to plan their eventual wedding. You see, Kate is something of an expert. She has presided as bridesmaid and unofficial wedding coordinator at 27 different weddings. In fact, as we meet her, she is attending two weddings in one night, an event witnessed by Kevin (James Marsden), the wedding reporter for the New York Journal.

Smelling a story in this unusual woman, Kevin pursues her and in the process falls for her. Kate is not so quick to even like Kevin let alone fall for him. Where she happens to love weddings, he is cynical and cites how often the ritual fails to translate to lifetime love. Of course, if you think the movie has anything other than true love on it's mind for Kate and Kevin, you clearly don't watch many movies.

To call 27 Dresses predictable is like saying the sun is predictable. This is a romantic comedy folks, not  Scenes From A Marriage. 27 Dresses is about oddball romantic roadblocks between two characters destined to live happily ever after. And, while I have in the past dinged other similar films for their overfamiliar clichés and simpleminded routines, I maintain that those films weren't as interesting in their predictability as 27 Dresses.

27 Dresses offer characters that are easy to accept and enjoy, Director Anne Fletcher may not be skilled at avoiding the typical, but she knows how to cast actresses and actors we want watch in a story that doesn't put one to sleep.

The main reason 27 Dresses is better than other similar films is star Katherine Heigl. This lovely talented young actress has had one exceptional year coming off of the success of Knocked Up last summer and her Emmy win for TV's Grey's Anatomy. She gets 2008 off to a good start with a performance of wondrous romantic angst and good hearted cheer. Her Jane is not some pathetic, pining woman-child but a serious minded woman with good reasons why she has fallen for who she's fallen for, even if she lacks the spine to declare her feelings

Jane is the rare selfless character in a sea of selfish, overbearing characters not just in 27 Dresses but in most modern movies. Just a quick blush of the movies I've seen this weekend from the bank robbers of Mad Money to the monster bait of Cloverfield, we are adrift in selfish, self involved characters whose only concern is for themselves and their well being.

Jane may be a little spineless but it comes from a place of honesty and caring. Though Marsden's Kevin thinks she gets walked on by her friends, the filmmakers portrayal makes it seem more likely that she just loves weddings and wants to give these women the dream that she holds for herself some day. That is nobility if you ask me and a rare characteristic of the modern movie character.

Late in the film, when Jane finally does something truly selfish it is not celebrated as her finally standing up for herself but rather as an out of character, meanspirited moment that she must and does make up for. Again, how rare, a character punished for being selfish. On this message alone I could celebrate 27 Dresses. That it is also charming, sweet and funny is icing on the giant three layer wedding cake.

Movie Review 13 Going on 30

13 Going on 30 (2004) 

Directed by Gary Winick 

Written by Josh Goldsmith, Cathy Yuspa 

Starring Jennifer Garner, Mark Ruffalo, Judy Greer, Andy Serkis

Release Date April 23rd, 2004

Published April 19th, 2004

Being a fan of TV's “Alias,” I am well aware of the tremendous talents of Jennifer Garner. Her role in last year’s comic book adventure Daredevil showed she could easily transfer that talent to the big screen. Now, with the big screen comedy 13 Going on 30, Garner has the biggest test of her talents yet. Playing what is essentially a re-imagining of Tom Hanks' role in 1987's Big, Garner shows a comic flair that she has not had the opportunity to show before. It's a risky departure and a surprisingly successful one as well.

In 13 Going on 30, Garner is Jenna Rink, whom we first meet at the age of 13 as an insecure kid who hopes to become part of a popular clique. She has her chance when the popular kids promise to attend her thirteenth birthday party. However, her popularity comes with a price as she alienates her best friend Matt. Worse yet, the popular girls were only joking about being her friend and instead abandon Jenna as she awaits her first kiss with one of the popular boys in a game of “seven minutes in heaven.” This leaves Jenna stranded and crying in her closet wishing that she could be 30 years old like the girls in her favorite magazine.

When next we see Jenna, she is grown up and very confused. Her wish has come true and she is now 30 years old, only she doesn't remember anything between her wish in the closet and waking up in her fabulous New York apartment. Soon she finds out that she has become an editor at her favorite magazine, Poise, and she became and remains friends with the popular clique from her high school. However she is no longer friends with Matt (Mark Ruffalo) who has grown up to become a photographer and is soon to be married. In her confusion, Jenna discovers that hurting Matt was the biggest mistake in her life and that wanting to be popular has cost her real happiness.

Not exactly groundbreaking storytelling. However as it is played with such lively joy by Jennifer Garner, this trite, overly sweet story is surprisingly funny. Garner tosses her dignity to the curb and goes full speed ahead into being a thirteen-year trapped in the body of a thirty-year-old. Not only is she believable, she is very funny. Garner infuses the role with more acting talent than you expect for such light material. She’s also very well matched with Mark Ruffalo whose credibility as dramatic actor gives the film’s melodrama a needed gravity.

Director Gary Winick borrows effectively from Penny Marshall's Big, combining it with the bubbly effusiveness of Legally Blonde for a comic fantasy romance that is sweet without being overly precious. There are big laughs in the film but more importantly there are big smiles, especially the ones you leave the theater wearing.

My only real problem with the film is it's title which evokes those bad eighties body switching movies like 18 Again or Vice Versa. While those films are in this one's spirit, this is a different and far better film. It's not the most original movie and there are few cringe-inducing moments of over the top cuteness, but nothing so bad that they can't be overlooked. 

There is too much about the film that works for me to care about the moments that don't. 13 Going On 30 is a shockingly good movie that I am very pleasantly surprised to recommend.

Movie Review: Cursed

Cursed (2005)

Directed by Wes Craven 

Written by Kevin Williamson

Starring Christina Ricci, Josh Jackson, Jesse Eisenberg, Scott Baio, Judy Greer, Shannon Elizabeth

Release Date February 25th, 2005 

Published February 24th, 2005

As far as career low points go I would have thought Director Wes Craven could not go any lower than his sad and long forgotten Eddie Murphy vampire flick Vampire In Brooklyn. However after seeing Mr. Craven's new werewolf picture Cursed I find that even if you have previously dug to the bottom of the barrel you can always lift the barrel to go a little lower.

Cursed is a shameful example of a once great Director in his most faded glory. In attempting to recreate the past success of the Scream series Craven has crafted a woefully inept spectacle of bad special effects and reteamed with writer Kevin Williamson, a return to the kind of in-the-know humor that made Scream hip.... in '96.

Christina Ricci stars as Elly, a TV producer raising her little brother Jimmy (Jesse Eisenberg) after the death of their parents. When the kids are involved in a car accident, they are attacked by some kind of beast that annihilates another woman (Shannon Elizabeth, in a cameo nod to Drew Barrymore in Scream). Jimmy claims the beast was a werewolf and the cops and his sister are unsurprisingly skeptical.

Jimmy becomes obsessed with werewolf lore, because someone in werewolf movies has to provide exposition, spending hours researching the side effects of a non-fatal werewolf attack. Naturally there is the moonlight thing, an aversion to silver and a heightened sense of smell especially when it comes to blood. Soon both brother and sister are showing some supernatural side effects and only killing the wolf that attacked them can save them from a lifetime of moonlight killing.

Josh Jackson plays Elly's boyfriend who has a dark secret of his own and Judy Greer (The Village) plays a bitchy rival to Elly in her job as a producer on the Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn. The cast also boasts cameos by Kilborn, Lance Bass of N'Sync, pop star Mya and Scott Baio (Yes, Scott Baio).

Memo to Kevin Williamson, simply putting Scott Baio in your movie is not funny. Give him something funny to do or say or don't do it at all. Mr. Baio's cameo is a throwaway, amongst many throwaway jokes that fall flat throughout Cursed.

The screenplay by Kevin Williamson attempts to mine comedy from Elly's gig as a producer on the Kilborn show but with Kilborn having left since the film wrapped more than a year ago, the comedy is embarassingly stale. Williamson also attempts to revive the running gags from the Scream series with Shannon Elizabeth's brief cameo and quick death and of course that knowing ironic horror movie humor that was his forte more than 10 years ago but has failed to mature much in the same way Mr. Williamson's career has failed to mature toward the success so many expected for him after the twin hits Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer.

It's not just the humor that falls flat in Cursed but also the career of the once very promising Christina Ricci. After her Prozac Nation was shelved before being dumped to cable and forgotten, it seems Ms. Ricci is longing for the kind of paycheck an actor can only get when they compromise their talent. Cursed however is not merely a compromise.  It's a total sellout. Never before has Ricci been so lifeless and banal on screen.

Ms. Ricci is not alone in the sellout department. It seems everyone from former Dawson's Creek star Johua Jackson to pop star Mya to the lovely Judi Greer were all willing to throw actorly credibility to the wind to gather a paycheck. Only Greer's performance could be called memorable, but not memorable for the right reasons. Ms. Greer's performance is so embarrassing she may want to leave it off her resume in the future.

The CGI effects employed in Cursed to bring the various werewolves to life are seemingly what Ed Wood might have created had he the chance to use the technology. All of the films werewolves are bad cartoons and because of the restrictive PG-13 Rating the film cannot distract the audience from the terrible effects with blood and gore. PG-13 simply does not suit the man who arguably has spilled more cinematic blood in history than any other director. The film's rating and lack of old school blood and guts is clearly a box office related compromise between Craven and the studio Dimension Films.

Not that an R-Rating could have done much for what is the worst outing of Wes Craven's long career. The master of horror delivers a movie with a thuddingly uninteresting script, little to no real scares and CGI effects, never his strong suit, that are some of the worst I have seen in a long while. Cursed plays not like a Wes Craven movie but rather like one of those early 2000's movies that he simply slapped his name on like They or Dracula 2000: bad, low-budget horror that capitalizes off the name of the man once called the Master of Horror. That name has lost a great deal of its cache with Cursed, one of the worst films of the 2004.

Movie Review: Elizabethtown

Elizabethtown (2005) 

Directed by Cameron Crowe 

Written by Cameron Crowe 

Starring Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst, Alec Baldwin, Susan Sarandon, Judy Greer

Release Date October 14th, 2005 

Published October 15th, 2006 

I have wrestled with loving Cameron Crowe's “Elizabethtown” ever since it's 2005 release. The film has been part of one of my most significant relationships, she loves the movie and was angry that I found fault with it. It was with her pushing that I have revisited “Elizabethtown” several times in the intervening years and come away with a number of different reactions.

There are so many wonderfully positive things about “Elizabethtown,” the most notable of which is the extraordinary soundtrack. Of course, Cameron Crowe is a master of movie music so this soundtrack can come as no surprise but the way he uses music in the film does surprise and delight. Listen for the delicate grooves not only of the score done by Crowe's now ex-wife Ann Wilson but also the callbacks to songs by Tom Petty and My Morning Jacket that filter in unexpectedly and underline important scenes.

Watch the unique way Crowe uses the unusual Elton John song My Father's Gun as a mournful reckoning for how Orlando Bloom's Drew Baylor feels as he takes up with the distant family that had loved his father but seemingly held his family at a distance. It's wonderful how the awkward lyrics about the civil war and family legacy coalesce with Drew's discomfort among his extended family.

The music is perfect from scene one with The Hollies Jesus Was a Crossmaker through the end with a brief reprise of Tom Petty's underappreciated It'll All Work Out. Listen to the way that Crowe uses Tom Petty throughout “Elizabethtown” and marvel at the subtlety of director and musician in perfect concert. It'll All Work Out is used just after Drew promises to kill himself and just as his savior/love interest Claire is introduced. The song is our reassuring underline to let us know that though Drew will struggle he will survive. It's much more subtle without my description.

I cannot get enough of Cameron Crowe's ear for music and eye for knowing where exactly to use it in his films. It's a remarkable and underrated talent. With that said, there are a number of issues that I have had with “Elizabethtown” from the first time I saw it, through my first disappointed review through repeated viewings and reevaluations of the film over five years.

The plot begins with Drew Baylor, a 20 something shoe designer for a Nike-esque shoe company in Oregon. Drew has just designed an innovative new work out shoe that has met with massive public disapproval. So bad was the shoe's reception among the public that Drew is being fired and the company is about to lose something close to a billion dollars.

The company's owner, Phil (Alec Baldwin) quotes one critic as saying that this shoe could send a generation back to bare feet. This section is filled with logical inconsistencies and minor quibbles that undercut Drew's dramatic journey. First up is the name of the shoe: Spasmotica. There simply is no company in the world that would release a shoe called Spasmotica and no consumer that would purchase it.

It's a quibble but there is simply no way a multibillion dollar company would not have tested the public reaction to the shoe before committing nearly a billion dollars in marketing and production to it. The title would not have survived the first testing phase nor likely would the design which is something akin to a Ray fish. We are told that Drew is a genius and an artist given free reign and it's simply not believable.

This is important because it leads to Drew's dramatic decision to take his own life which is the driving force for the rest of his sad journey. We must believe in Drew's desperation or he seems merely pathetic. Orlando Bloom does a fabulous job lifting the audience past logical inconsistencies enough that they don't sink the film but its close. If you don't like Bloom and aren't willing to believe his desperation and sadness you will be left out of “Elizabethtown.”

Then, as Drew is contemplating his rather fanciful suicide, he has rigged a carving knife up to an exercise machine that should be enough to stab him directly in the heart; he gets a call informing him that his father has died while visiting family in Elizabethtown. Drew has been drafted to fly to Elizabethtown to retrieve his father’s body and return it home. It’s on the flight that Drew meets Claire, a too helpful flight attendant, and “Elizabethtown” begins showing off its maddening and delightful taste in romance.

Onion A.V Club Head Writer Nathan Rabin coined the phrase Manic Pixie Dream Girl based on a viewing of Kirsten Dunst in “Elizabethtown.” The Manic Pixie Dream Girl is defined as 'that bubbly, shallow cinematic figure that exists in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.' It's a cynical and cutting description of “Elizabethtown's” Claire and one that I have been unable to escape since I read it.

The Manic Pixie Dream Girl has haunted my every viewing of “Elizabethtown” and it's a struggle to put aside Mr. Rabin's dismissive caricature and see Ms. Dunst's performance. Indeed, as written by the sensitive Mr. Crowe, Claire is as much a device as she is a character. So why does she ring so deeply in my soul?

I long for a Claire of my own to rescue me from despair and help me recognize what is good within me while offering judgment free love and fantasy sex following a perfect unintended seduction through mutual sadness and lonely longing. Claire is a little too perfect but is not perfect the fantasy of fantasists? What man did not at one time long for his very own Claire? 

There are problems with this fantasy however and they provide another of the shockingly lazy inconsistencies that plague “Elizabethtown.” In a scene early in Claire and Drew's relationship Claire describes the two of them as 'the substitute people.' They are stand ins in at the moment for the people they each really want. It's Claire's way of keeping distance from Drew, assuming that he is still hooked on his recent ex, Ellen (Jessica Biel). 

She's hedging her bets with him; inventing her own boyfriend as a way of letting Drew off the hook should he carry on with his pining for Ellen. It's a wonderful scene that shows Claire is not the fearless creature who flirted so openly with Drew on his flight to Kentucky and talked so openly with him in their wonderful all night phone call. It's very early in their relationship and Claire needs to be a little weary considering how fast things are moving between them. 

However, later in the film Claire throws the 'substitute people' comment back at Drew as if they were his words and not hers. The logical inconsistency undercuts the drama and impact of what is a very dynamic and dramatic scene. We are also supposed to believe in this scene that Drew, even after so clearly having fallen for Claire, still wants to kill himself. The scene calls for a withering comment from Claire that sets the stage for their reconciliation. Instead, the scene ends on a pair of confusing points.

Unlike any other Cameron Crowe film, “Elizabethtown” calls for desperate leaps in logic and suspensions of disbelief. So why do I still love it? “Elizabethtown” is a shaggy dog of a romance filled with whimsy and life and set to a phenomenal soundtrack. Despite its inconsistencies there are moments of such tenderness, romance and heart that I cannot help but love it.

Many critics have hammered “Elizabethtown” and many cite a scene where Susan Sarandon as Drew's mom performs a stand up comedy routine and a tap dance at her late husband's memorial as the films dramatic nadir. I completely disagree. Sarandon's unguarded emotion in this scene and Cameron Crowe's perfect imagery, shooting Sarandon from behind as she dances capturing her silhouette in a in a spotlight, is utterly gorgeous and the shots of Bloom and Judy Greer as his sister laughing and holding back tears evoke deep sympathy and smiles. 

This scene is wonderful for it's capricious spirit and the memorial scene as a whole is wildly capricious, ending as it does with Drew's cousin's band playing Free Bird as a giant paper Mache bird catches fire and sprinklers flood the hotel ballroom set. Sure, it's indulgent but it's also purely Cameron Crowe and as the “Elizabethtown” love theme score comes in underneath the chaos it's hard not to get caught up. 

That scene is followed up by a darkly comic burial scene that leads to “Elizabethtown's” final flight of odd fancy. Claire has requested that Drew take a road trip home as he takes his father's ashes back to Oregon. She has made him a map of famous tourist traps and places of musical legend and set the whole thing to 42 hours worth of classic songs. When she found the time to make this 'very unique map' is anyone's guess. 

Most odd is why? Why would Drew go to the hotel where Martin Luther King was killed? Why would Drew visit the Survivor Tree in Oklahoma City? What do these tragic places have to do with his journey? These scenes stretch credulity especially as we arrive at the half way point of Drew's journey where Claire is waiting for him. In a fit of ridiculous whimsy that relies on specious timing and luck, Claire sets up Drew to meet her at the Second Largest Farmer's Market in the World. Keep in mind, if Drew had deviated from her map in any way she would have been left there all day waiting. If one thing goes wrong with her goofy plan once he gets there, it involves an odd little scavenger hunt, they may never find each other. 

Crowe's indulgence in this ludicrous ending is overwhelming and yet I find myself excited as Drew searches for Claire's wacky red hat. I cannot help getting caught up because I do so love these characters. Orlando Bloom has never been this winning and Dunst is cuter than ever. I want these two characters together and that proves just how effective Elizabethtown is. Even with its massive flaws these characters and their romance are irresistible.

I love “Elizabethtown.” I still wrestle with its inconsistencies and failures of logic but the characters and soundtrack resonate deeply within to the point that I watch the film compulsively. I have seen the film almost 10 times in the five years since its release and I will watch it again. It’s partly because of my personal connection which remains as strong as ever, going on four years now, but also because Cameron Crowe has a remarkable way with soulful, human stories and tender romance.

Oh, and that ungodly brilliant soundtrack.

Movie Review: Ant-Man and The Wasp

Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018) 

Directed by Peyton Reed 

Written by Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers, Paul Rudd

Starring Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Walton Goggins, Michael Douglas, Michelle Pfeiffer, Judy Greer 

Release Date July 6th, 2018

Published July 5th, 2018 

Ant-Man and the Wasp is an absolute blast. The latest movie to shine in the Marvel Universe, this fast-paced, funny action flick more than lives up the superhero hype with a pair of delightful lead performances from Paul Rudd and Evangeline Lilly, as the titular duo, and an exceptional colorful supporting cast including Michael Douglas, Michelle Pfeiffer and Michael Pena.

Ant-Man and The Wasp picks up the story of Scott Lang (Rudd) 2 years after the events of Captain America Civil War wherein Scott, as Ant-Man, took sides with Captain America (Chris Evans) and in doing so violated the Sokovia Accords. This led to a year in jail and another year in house arrest where, at the very least, he gets to spend time with his daughter when he isn’t learning sleight of hand magic or playing drums, in a video game.

The story really kicks in when Hope Van Dyne (Lilly) and her father, Hank Pym (Michael Douglas), open a portal to the Quantum Realm where Scott was nearly lost forever in the last film and where Hope’s mother, Hank’s wife, Janet (Michelle Pfeiffer) has been lost for decades. Opening the Quantum Realm reveals that Janet has created a way, via Scott, for her to communicate and perhaps escape her decades long exile.

Meanwhile, a baddie calling herself The Ghost (Hannah John-Kamen) is trying to steal Hank’s lab to try and save her life. The less revealed about Ghost the better, the character has a fun secret that is revealed throughout the movie. The Ghost isn’t the only baddie however, as a shady arms dealer, played by Walton Goggins decides that he wants to steal Hank’s technology in order to sell it to the highest bidder.

That’s the set up for a  whole bunch of terrifically funny gags. Ant-Man and The Wasp is so much fun! Director Peyton Reed, much maligned for taking over the first Ant-Man after fan favorite Edgar Wright was dropped from the project, shows growth as a visual artist and in the confidence of a man with a vision. Reed appears to want Ant-Man to be the comic conscience of the Marvel Universe and two features in, he’s lived up to that title.

So how does Ant-Man and The Wasp fit into the narrative of the wider MCU? Well, I am not going to spoil that, you need to see this movie for that fun. I will say that the mid-credits scene is where the ongoing narrative is addressed and that there is no need to stay for the end credits scene which is merely the end of a running gag in Ant-Man and The Wasp and one of the few things in the movie that isn’t particularly funny.

Ant-Man and The Wasp is another triumph for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It’s a film that combines the best traits of the Marvel Universe from big laughs to big action to genuine drama. Michael Douglas adds genuine gravitas to Ant-Man and The Wasp and when he and Michelle Pfeiffer finally share the screen the scene is legitimately moving thanks to the wide-ranging talents of both actors and this super smart, funny script.

Ant-Man and The Wasp is one of my favorite movies of 2018.

Movie Review The Descendants

The Descendants (2011) 

Directed by Alexander Payne 

Written by Alexander Payne 

Starring George Clooney, Shailene Woodley, Beau Bridges, Judy Greer 

Release Date November 18th, 2011 

Published November 17th, 2011 

"The Descendants" is filled with glorious flaws. From the strangely clumsy exposition to the at times awkward voiceover narration to the occasionally intrusive score, the flaws are undeniable no matter how much you may like the movie. These and similar flaws are included in every film that writer-director Alexander Payne has made. Yet, we still consider him a genius as a filmmaker. Why? Because, every mistake, every imperfection of an Alexander Payne film is a reflection of the mistakes and imperfections of his oh so compelling characters.

George Clooney stars in "The Descendants" as Matt King. Matt's life is far from paradise; despite the fact that he owns a large stretch of what is undoubtedly considered paradise. Matt lives in Hawaii and while his opening narration is meant to convey the ugly side of Hawaii, what we will soon see, the stretch of land that Matt's family owns, is the side of the Big island that gives Hawaii it's reputation as paradise. Matt's personal life however, reflects the ugly side of things. Matt's wife is in a coma following a boating accident. This leaves Matt in charge of his youngest daughter, Scottie (Amara Miller) for the first time in years. It's not that Matt's a bad father he's just never been called upon to be a very good father.

Matt's oldest daughter, Alex (Shailene Woodley) is away at boarding school but with her mother's health failing Matt decides to bring her home; whether she wants to come home or not. Alex knows something that her father doesn't. It's the reason Alex has been acting out: Matt's wife was cheating on him. This revelation sets the story of "The Descendants" in motion as Matt and Alex form an unusual new bond over trying to find the man who his wife was sleeping with and considering leaving him for. The search leads to a trip to Matt's fabled track of land; which, in a strange twist has also drawn the attention of his wife's lover.

Running parallel to the cuckolding story is that of Matt and his family and Matt's decision about who to sell his family's land to or whether to sell it at all. The land issue gives "The Descendants" grounding in Hawaiian history that is surprisingly resonant and well founded. George Clooney's performance as Matt is phenomenal. While you will have to suspend belief that a woman would really leave Clooney for Matthew Lillard, Clooney sells the part with panache and a striking mix of drama and good humor. There is darkness to the humor of "The Descendants" that can be hard to take but Clooney is the best possible guide over the rough spots.

"The Descendants" is undoubtedly flawed but I've come to expect flaws from Alexander Payne. Alexander Payne's focus is on allowing his actors the space to create indelible characters that employ his words to the best comic or dramatic purpose. These characters, like Matt and Alex, are more often than not so wildly compelling that the flawed directions and moments of clumsiness fade away in their presence.

I was reminded often during "The Descendants" of Alexander Payne's "About Schmidt" starring Jack Nicholson. Like "The Descendants," "About Schmidt" employs an occasional voiceover that is at times a little too knowing and cute. The exposition of "About Schmidt" is heavy-handed in the same way it is in "The Descendants." And, as in "The Descendants," "About Schmidt" ends on an awkward yet peaceful beat. I love "About Schmidt." The flaws of that film are the flaws of the main character played by Jack Nicholson. Truly, "About Schmidt" would be less of a film without these flaws; without Alexander Payne's willingness to let his film be flawed in the same ways his characters are flawed.

The same can be said of "The Descendants" where the clumsy exposition reflects the clumsiness of Matt King as he approaches this strange and unfamiliar place in his life. George Clooney is brilliant at bringing Matt's problems to the surface with quiet dignity that gets punctured with strong comic effect. "The Descendants," warts and all, is a terrific film populated by compelling characters that carry the ability to make you laugh or cry. The imperfections are glaring but easy to forgive because these characters are so very compelling.