Snakes on a Plane (2006)
Directed by David R. Ellis
Written by Sebastian Gutierrez
Starring Samuel L. Jackson, Julianna Margulies, Rachel Blanchard, Flex Anderson, Lin Shaye, David Koechner
Release Date August 18th, 2006
Published August 17th, 2006
The phenomenon that is Snakes on a Plane is one of the more remarkable marketing triumphs in history. New Line Cinema with the simple decision to abandon their preferred title of Pacific Air Flight 121 in favor of the working title placeholder Snakes on a Plane, created an uncontrollable internet sensation that they could not have planned or even imagined.
Now that the film itself is replacing the faked trailers, posters and audio clips, could it even come close to matching the pre-release hype? Yes and no. Yes, the film features seriously campy moments of ridiculous gore and foul mouthed fan requested dialogue. And no, the film was supposed to be either so bad it's good or actually be pretty good and it turned out to be neither.
Snakes on a Plane is simply nothing more than a bad movie with an eye catchingly simpleminded title.
There really is not much to describe in terms of plot. The title says almost all you need to know. There is a plane with snakes. To be more specific, a flight from Hawaii to Los Angeles carrying a federal witness, Sean played by Wolf Creek star Nathan Phillips, and a pair of FBI agents Neville Flynn (Jackson) and his partner John (Mark Houghton), is filled with poisonous snakes by a mob boss whom Sean witnessed murdering a prosecutor.
Also on board this flight are a group of caricatures and stereotypes who line up to be victims of the hissing, slithering bad guys. Flex Anderson plays a germ phobic rap star, Kenan Thompson -from Saturday Night Live- is his sassy, video game loving bodyguard. Julianna Marguilies, once an Emmy candidate on E.R, plays a flight attendant on her last trip alongside Farrelly brothers regular Lynn Shaye whose character just turned down early retirement. Comic actor David Koechner shows up to give the film a little comic jolt as the plane's politically incorrect pilot but his energy is quickly dissipated.
Maxim magazine regulars Rachel Blanchard and Elsa Pataky round out the cast of those with the best chance to survive, process of recognizability elimination, if we have a vague idea who you are you have a better chance of surviving. It's what would happen if the love boat turned into the titanic.
Blame director David R. Ellis who had shown a modicum of suspense skill in his previous high blood pressure thrillers Final Destination 2 and Cellular. In Snakes on a Plane Ellis can barely ring a few minor seat jumps from this story which would seem to have built in thrills. Snakes are falling from every opening, slithering up from every hole in the floor, the possibilities for them to strike are endless and yet Ellis never really establishes the tense situation beyond his colorful ideas as to where to attach a rubber snake to the human body.
As for star Samuel L. Jackson, it's difficult to decipher whether Jackson is in on the joke of Snakes on a Plane or the subject of the joke that is Snakes on a Plane. In interviews Jackson blasted the idea that the film would be full on camp and yet he was more than happy to include the joke phrase that internet fans demanded the creators put in the film. His delivery of the line "I'm tired of these motherf*****g snakes, on this motherf*****g plane" does rouse the audience but it seems to lack conviction and feels more than a little forced.
With something as cheeseball goofy as Snakes on a Plane you can't help but have a few cheap thrills to enjoy. It's nearly impossible not to enjoy watching the plane's resident jerky passenger, the pushy fastidious complainer guy, get his snakey comeuppance. There are also some very creative ways to dispose of snakes such as with a lighter taped to the side of a bottle of hairspray or the kickboxer with the quick squishing kick.
These momentary thrills along with a high gore quotient will be more than enough for some people. For me however, I checked out during the scene in which a nameless extra is using the toilet and ends up with a snake attached to a very sensitive portion of his body. There are cheap jokes and then there is simple crass exploitation. I should not have expected anything less from Snakes on a Plane but that does not dismiss my disgust and dismay.
Criticizing Snakes on a Plane for being mindless is as futile as... well.. being trapped on a cross pacific flight with boxes of angry poisonous snakes. You simply have to accept fate. Snakes on a Plane was going to be brainless from the moment it was conceived. It was a dullard idea when the first screenwriter put fingers to keyboard to type it out.
Still there was the potential here for some camp fun, there in fact is a little camp fun, but there is simply not nearly enough fun for me to recommend Snakes on a Plane.
