Classic Movie Review Halloween (1978)

Halloween (1978) 

Directed by John Carpenter 

Written by John Carpenter, Debra Hill 

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasance 

Release Date October 25th, 1978 

Halloween Franchise 

Is it possible that horror fans just like the musical score for Halloween 1978 and tolerate the movie that goes with it? I realize that this is a great offense to fans of the Halloween franchise but I just don't get the appeal of John Carpenter's original Halloween. The film is remarkably dull by the standards of the great horror movies I have seen in my now more than 20 years as a film critic. Halloween is outright boring aside from that remarkable score which is incredible at creating the tension that the characters and the slack scenes fail to establish. 

Halloween 1978 centers on Michael Myers who, as a child, murdered his sister in cold blood. Taken into a mental institution, Michael was locked away until the age of 21 under the treatment of Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance). In treating Michael, Dr. Loomis has come to see his patient as the closest thing to pure evil he's ever witnessed. Dr. Loomis has dedicated his career to making sure Michael Myers never gets out of custody. Unfortunately, on the night that Loomis is set to take Michael to an even more secure facility for rest of his natural life, Loomis finds that Michael has escaped. 

Driven by an unspecified motivation, Michael returns to Haddonfield, Illinois, his childhood hometown. There he sets his sights on several people he wants to kill. Among the likely victims is Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), a teenager with plans to babysit on this Halloween night. Halloween is when Michael killed his sister and it is this night that he hopes to return to killing. Another potential victim that catches Michael's eye is young Tommy Doyle (Brian Andrews), who happens to be the child that Laurie will be babysitting that night. 

It's quite a coincidence that Michael follows first Laurie and then Tommy as he would have no idea that Laurie is Tommy's babysitter but we are supposed to forget about such things. We are also supposed to not care that someone must have taken the time to teach the most dangerous inmate in a mental institution how to drive a car with such care that he can stealthily follow not one but two different, seemingly unrelated children. Halloween fans want us to pretend these inconsistencies don't exist but the movie does little to hide its own flaws. 

The other thing we are asked to ignore is how silly Michael Myers looks each time we see him. My favorite is a moment where Michael is stalking Laurie as she walks home from school. Laurie looks over her shoulder and sees Michael's hulking masked figure standing still and staring at her. She turns away and he's gone. Laurie's friend goes to see who might be messing with her friend and when she arrives at the hedgerow that Michael would seem to be hiding behind, he's gone. The clear indication here, aside from unspecified supernatural powers, is that Michael Myers, the cheeky prankster that he is, appeared in front of Laurie and then quickly ran away so as not to be caught. 

The mental image of a hulking mental patient in a Halloween mask running to hide from a pair of teenagers is hilarious. But then, ask yourself this, why? Why is Michael toying with Laurie? What does a mental patient get out of hiding in the hedges or hiding in Laurie's backyard or appearing to her outside her school? What does this have to do with anything Michael Myers has planned? I'm told that his lack of motivation is part of what makes Michael Myers so scary but then why is the rest of the franchise so dedicated to giving Michael a motivation? 

Halloween fans have hand-waved all of these weird inconsistencies for years. Things like why Michael stole his sister's headstone from her grave only to set it up in a random house where he has elaborately stored several of the bodies of various victims unrelated to his original murder? Nowhere during the original Halloween is it mentioned that Laurie and Michael are secret siblings, that's a retcon from Halloween 2. The fact that we ever found out that Laurie is Michael's sister reveals the cynicism of this franchise continuing beyond the ragingly mediocre original. 

The film was successful and marketers, seeing success, capitalized with a sequel. Fans of the aesthetic of Michael Myers, and John Carpenter's first rate score then dedicated themselves to lore building for the franchise to justify their enjoyment of such a nakedly commercial franchise. It's the calculated, capitalistic cynicism that bothers me about Halloween. John Carpenter made one of his most mediocre movies in 1978 and was roped to that movie by its unlikely success. 

Find my full length review of Halloween 1978 at Horror.Media

Classic Movie Review Halloween 2

Halloween 2 (1981) 

Directed by Rick Rosenthal 

Written by John Carpenter, Debra Hill 

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasance, Dick Warlock 

Release Date October 30th, 1981 

Published October 13th, 2022 

So, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Michael Myers (Dick Warlock) are siblings. So now what? Apparently, the answer to so now what was let's do what we did the first time to ever diminishing returns. Halloween 2 is set on the same night as the original, October 31st, 1978. Michael Myers has been shot by Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance), but has managed to escape. Laurie is hurt and deeply traumatized. She's taken to a hospital where they plan to treat her cuts and bruises and give her a good night's sleep with some good drugs. 

Unfortunately for everyone at the hospital, Michael Myers is not one to give up. Even with several bullet wounds, he plans on finding his heretofore unknown sister and killing her for some nebulous reason. But, before he can get to her, he needs to mess about killing randos. this means finding a couple having sex in the hospital therapy tub, ewwwwwww, and nearly melting their skin off before knifing them but good. Yes, sure, death to those who have sex in therapy pools, but this seems like an unnecessary detour for Michael Myers. 

If the end goal is killing Laurie Strode then why is Michael constantly achieving side quests like he's playing GTA? When he gets to the hospital Michael takes the time to sabotage every vehicle in the parking lot. And, in case someone tries to call the authorities whose bullets can't stop him, Michael rips out the phone line. Then he wastes time searching for Laurie Strode by murdering random hospital employees and posing them for best horror effect. This is a Michael Myers trope that always boggles my mind, why does Myers feel the need to pose his victims? 

When you think about it, for a guys whose aesthetic is stoic, stalking, methodical maniac, Michael is rather flamboyant in how he poses his kills. For instance, he murders a nurse by having all of her blood drain out of her in a perfect pool while she sleeps the sleep of death. He stabs another doctor in the eye with a needle and leaves him perfectly posed with the needle in his eye for best horror effect. If you want to have fun, just imagine the effort and time it must take Michael to take and crumple the bodies of victims he doesn't pose into the various hiding places he pushes them into. 

Click here for my full length review of Halloween 2 at Horror.Media. 

Movie Review Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

Halloween 3 Season of the Witch (1982) 

Directed by Tommy Lee Wallace

Written by John Carpenter and Debra Hill 

Starring Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Dan O'Herlihy 

Release Date October 22nd, 1982 

Published October 14th, 2022 

A Halloween movie without Michael Myers was long the vision of creator John Carpenter. For Carpenter, Michael's story ended in Halloween 2 with a massive ball of fire. So convinced of the death of his creation was Carpenter that he reconceived the entire Halloween franchise to eliminate Michael Myers. But, typical of the character, he could not be killed, only briefly detained. Michael Myers may be limited to a stock footage cameo in Halloween 3: Season of the Witch, but the lack of Michael looms over the whole enterprise. 

Actor Tom Atkins takes up the starring role in Halloween 3: Season of the Witch as drunken doctor, Dr. Dan Chellis. Dan has a bit of a drinking problem and a whole lot of ex-wife problems. Michael, late as usual for a visit with his son and daughter, only to find that his gift of Halloween masks was too little too late. Mom, fearing Dad would forget about his kids at Halloween, took the initiative to buy the hottest Halloween costume of the season, the all new Silver Shamrock series of masks featuring Pumpkins, Witches, and Skeletons. 

After getting paged back to the hospital for some drunken doctoring, Dr. Chellis is accosted by a nearly comatose patient. The patient, thought to be dying wakes up after hearing the Silver Shamrock jingle that plays at various intervals at extraordinary volume, on a nearby television. The patient warns Chellis that the bad guys are coming but he dies before he can elaborate further on the matter. The man's death came at the hands of a cold blooded and powerful assassin. Catching a glimpse of the killer, Dr. Chellis is forced to watch as the murderer douses himself in gasoline, killing himself in a subsequent explosion. 

Following the twin tragedies of the death of his patient and the seeming suicide of his patient's killer, Dr. Chellis needs a drink. He retires for the night to a nearby bar where he is met by Ellie Grimbridge (Stacey Nelkin). Ellie has come to identify her father and she wants answers as to how and why he was killed. She believes that the answer has something to do with the shady company behind the season's most popular Halloween masks, the aforementioned Silver Shamrock. 

From there we are treated to a bizarre and not particularly scary series of events in a company town run by a former joke factory. Dan O'Herlihy plays Conal Cochrane, the man behind the masks of the season and a man dangerous enough to build killer robots in order to protect his plan to kill America's child population with his new line of bestselling masks. And, boy, is this a silly premise for a horror movie. What was anyone who participated in making Halloween 3 Season of the Witch even thinking? 

It's clear that someone, be it John Carpenter, Debra Hill, or director Tommy Lee Wallace were watching far too many Twilight Zone episodes but failing to recall what made The Twilight Zone any good. The Twilight Zone was clever and compact. In a mere 30 minutes, Rod Serling could develop characters we care about give them a strange and intriguing plot for us to puzzle about and get out before the premise ever loses steam. The makers of Halloween 3: Season of the Witch have no such luxury. 

Find my full length review of Halloween 3: Season of the Witch at Horror.Media.

Movie Review Halloween Ends

Halloween Ends (2022) 

Directed by David Gordon Green 

Written by Paul Brad Logan, Danny McBride, Chris Bernier, David Gordon Green 

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Andi Matichak, James Jude Courtney 

Release Date October 14th, 2022 

Published October 14th, 2022 

It's called Halloween Ends and I do believe Jamie Lee Curtis when she says this is the last one for her. That said, if Halloween Ends makes money, it won't be long before The Shape, Michael Myers, is haunting theaters again. That reason based cynicism has colored my viewing experience of every Halloween movie. No matter how illogical or unnecessary, the owners of the Halloween Intellectual Property will try and wring more cash out of it. Try as they might to make Halloween Ends appear like an endeavor that isn't merely about cash, the makers of Halloween Ends fail as every Halloween movie fails to escape the cynical calculations of Hollywood branding and marketing. 

Halloween Ends picks up four years after the last time that Michael Myers ran amok in Haddonfield, Illinois. Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is now living with her granddaughter, Allyson (Andi Matichak). Though she remains alert, Laurie has grown comfortable with Michael having been gone for so long. Now, Laurie is working on her memoirs while patiently waiting for the day Michael may return to her life. That she isn't constantly paranoid is a testament to her toughness. 

Meanwhile, in a bizarre and unnecessary other movie, Rohan Campbell plays Corey Cunningham. Corey is a teenage babysitter who, while watching the child of a rich couple, accidentally kills the child. Labelled as a child killer, even though the kid's death was an accident, Corey is blamed by many and he's become a loner and an outcast, preferring to stay home under the watchful eyes of his parents. When Corey does go out he's harassed by teenagers until Laurie rescues him. Because he's a main character, Laurie takes him to meet her granddaughter and the two form a romance. 

Unfortunately, Corey's haunted past keeps getting in his way until he finally snaps. On the run from his tormentors, Corey stumbles over Michael Myers near death and living in the sewer. For reasons that only the FOUR screenwriters might understand, Michael doesn't kill Corey. Instead, the two briefly become partners in killing. Corey begins luring victims to Michael and then they graduate to Corey and Michael as a killing duo. All the while, Allyson is fooled and charmed by Corey into thinking he's just a haunted bad boy and not a murderous psychopath. 

The addition of the character of Corey is an attempt to refresh the franchise one last time but it doesn't work. Rohan Campbell's whiny performance only leaves you to wonder why a character like Allyson would be attracted to this guy. Corey doesn't drive the plot, the plot pushes him along, uses him as a device and discards him when they are ready to move back to Michael as the main villain. Any time spent with the character of Corey feels like a gigantic waste of time. Instead of refreshing the franchise, the character seems to trip the movie, stall its progress and test our patience. 

Find my full length review of Halloween Ends at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Halloween (Remake)

Halloween (2007) 

Directed by Rob Zombie 

Written by Rob Zombie

Starring Scout Taylor Compton, Sheri Moon Zombie, Tyler Maine, Danielle Harris, Malcolm McDowell

Release Date August 31st, 2007

Published September 1st, 2007

A question for fans of the Rob Zombie version of John Carpenter's horror classic Halloween (if there are any). What did you enjoy about this movie? This is honest curiosity. I watched Halloween aghast not necessarily because of the ample, overwrought gore. No, rather because Halloween manages to be sloppier and less professional than either of Zombie's previous two bad movies.

More to the point of my curiosity however is the question of what you really did enjoy. The film isn't frightening, it's too ineptly put together to be frightening. It's certainly not humorous, the violence and attitude that Zombie brings to the film is far too self serious for humor. Is it that you find this misogynist,  fantasy titillating? If that's the case boys, get out of mom's basement and get yourself a girlfriend or maybe some counseling.

Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor Compton) has no idea where she came from. The life she has known since being very small is one of loving parents and a beautiful home. She has no idea that she has a brother and that her brother changed her life forever by killing their parents. It turned out for the best for young Laurie, unfortunately her brother Michael did not turn out so well.

Committed to an institution for the criminally insane at the age of 10, Michael at first refused to acknowledge what he did, despite the caring entreaties of Doctor Samuel Loomis (Malcolm McDowell. After 15 years and a couple more murders while incarcerated, Michael refuses to speak to anyone and Dr. Loomis is gone, having turned Michael's murderous life story into a bestseller.

It's Halloween; 15 years to the day Michael murdered all but his little sister. He is to be moved to another, more secure institution, when he decides he's had enough. Killing everyone in his path, Michael escapes and begins the trek home. Only Dr. Loomis is able to determine Michael's whereabouts and even his motivations. Michael is going home to see his little sister.

In John Carpenter's original Halloween no reason is given for why as child Michael Myers killed his older sister. Like more than a few horror fans, Rob Zombie was not satisfied not knowing why Michael became evil. Thus Zombie invents a family and an injurious back story that includes a vile, abusive step father (William Forsythe), a stripper mom (Sherry Moon-Zombie), and a resentful older sister (Hannah Hall).

Michael also has trouble at school where he is constantly made fun of by classmates. 10 year old Daeg Fanch is quite convincingly disturbed for a 10 year old and I credit Rob Zombie for finding the kid and giving him one creepy looking clown mask. That is where my praise of Mr. Zombie will end. The new backstory doesn't explain Myers' supernatural strength and ability to survive multiple bullet wounds and impalings.

What John Carpenter knew and what Rob Zombie ignores, is that not having a full backstory for Michael Myers allowed Carpenter to make him into whatever he wanted, including giving Myers the air of the supernatural. The backstory provides something of a psychological background but Zombie's reaching for realism sinks the film from a logical standpoint. Michael Myers can't survive all of those bullets, impaling's, and falls from great heights if you are aiming for 'realism'.

Of the many failings of Rob Zombie's Halloween is the lack of any kind of suspense. Zombie's approach to Michael Myers' taking of victims has as much suspense as a hammer hitting a nail. Put Myers in a room and whoever else is in the room with him is guaranteed death. That is, except for the lead actress who, at the very least, has to last to the ending. Whether she survives or not, I won't spoil it.

Maybe Zombie was too busy ogling his young female cast to consider that their deaths should have some significance or drama. Zombie's main concern throughout Michael Myers' second act killing spree is making certain that each of the young girls is topless before they are fileted like fish. That these actresses are playing under age characters, high schoolers, seems not to have bothered or put off Zombie in any way.

And yet, there is a classic horror movie clichéd conservatism to Zombie's approach. I have always been fascinated with the moralistic streak that horror films have and Rob Zombie's Halloween is no exception. As in many classic horror films the young victims, male and female, are decimated by the killer after having had pre-marital sex. Michael Myers, like his brethren Freddy and Jason, is the hand of a punishing god, killing for the sins of man.

Zombie lacks the intellect or insight to explore this horror movie moralism and abandons any notion of it after he has sliced and diced his nude teenagers.

Rob Zombie's Halloween pales in comparison to the compact, suspenseful horror of John Carpenter. A master of the genre, Carpenter knew that realism and grossout are not the real tools of the horror trade but rather that suspense and tension are what keep audiences on the edge of their seats. Yes, Carpenter spilled a great deal of blood and he knew how to use death for shock value but his skills far exceed those of Rob Zombie and that is why Carpenter is a legend and Rob Zombie is a low life hack.