Movie Review Haunted Mansion

Haunted Mansion (2023) 

Directed by Justin Simien 

Written by Katie Dippold 

Starring LaKeith Stanfield, Rosario Dawson, Tiffany Haddish, Owen Wilson, Danny Devito, Chase W. Dillon, Jared Leto, Jamie Lee Curtis 

Release Date July 28th, 2023 

Published July 31st, 2023 

There is a lovely idea at the heart of Haunted Mansion that gets lost among the muck of trying to make a wide appeal blockbuster family movie. At the core of Haunted Mansion, director Justin Simien, creator of the ingenious, Dear White People, appears fascinated by the concept of grief and the ways it manifests in negative ways for many people. Losing someone you love is a life altering event, it can lead to any number of negative manifestations if it is not dealt with and processed in a healthy fashion. It manifests in Haunted Mansion via LaLeith Stanfield's Ben, an astrophysicist who gave up everything after his young wife died. 

Stanfield is unquestionably an actor who can handle this kind of heavy material but the heavy nature of Haunted Mansion unfortunately drags on what is otherwise intended to be a summer blockbuster version of a Disney theme park ride. While Simien is working in the emotional space of Stanfield's grieving widower, the rest of the movie appears to be going for something broad, campy, scary and yet family friendly and the tonal dissonance is a big part of the overall failure of Haunted Mansion. By attempting to serve a number of ideas, the film ends up serving none of those ideas particularly well. 

Ben (Stanfield) was once a very successful and happy Astrophysicist shyly using his unique profession to hit on women. One of those women is Alyssa (Charity Jordan), a tour guide who leads haunted tours through New Orleans. Ben, being a man of science, doesn't believe in ghosts but he still falls hard for Alyssa and the two end up getting married at some point, we don't see that part. What we do see is that Alyssa is no longer with us, a mystery that will be unsatisfyingly resolved later in the film, and Ben is floundering. Having given up all aspects of his previous life, Ben now leads Alyssa's tours while drunk and being entirely uninterested in indulging and any notions of ghosts being real. 

Ben's trajectory is altered forever by the arrival of Father Kent (Owen Wilson). Kent knows Ben by reputation. He knows that Ben had, years earlier, invented a camera that could theoretically, take pictures of the dead. He has a job for Ben. A single mother, Gabbie (Rosario Dawson), has moved into a decrepit mansion on the outskirts of New Orleans. Gabbie, and her son, Travis (Chase W. Dillon), are also dealing with the fairly recent loss of Travis' father, a loss that neither mother or son has fully processed. The parallel of both Ben and Gabbie having lost someone is used as something of a shorthand to bring them together as love interests but the love story feels rushed and forced. 

That's the thing about Haunted Mansion, I am this far into this review and I haven't mentioned any ghosts. That's because none of the ghosts or scares in Haunted Mansion are very memorable. Jamie Lee Curtis is perhaps the most interesting of the spooks. She plays a dead psychic who was killed and her spirit was trapped inside of a crystal ball. The visual of Curtis's head in the crystal ball isn't bad but its not very elaborate. It's fine, like far too much of Haunted Mansion is fine, it's there, it exists, but it doesn't have much of anything interesting about it. 

The big bad of Haunted Mansion is the Hat Box ghost, played by Jared Leto. The Hat Box Ghost is a remarkably weak villain. The ghost's real name is Crump and the lame comparisons between Crump and Donald Trump are not stated out loud but are very clear. It's a lame non-joke, clearly intended but not well executed at all. It stands out as a bad idea because Leto's performance as Hatbox Ghost is half-hearted at best. The same can be said of the weak CGI look of the character which is scarier in a single drawing by a sketch artist in the movie than it ever is alive and moving around in Haunted Mansion. 

Incidentally, the Police sketch artist in Haunted Mansion is played by Hasan Minaj, a very funny man who is wasted in a nothing performance. Minaj is there to skeptically poke fun at Stanfield and Devito's claims about a ghost and he's offscreen in less than 3 minutes. And, Minaj isn't the biggest waste of talent in Haunted Mansion. Dan Levy and Winona Ryder both make appearances in Haunted Mansion and you are left to wonder if they owed someone a favor and that favor was being in this movie. Levy, one of the most dynamic comic personalities working today gets less than 2 minutes of screentime and his outfit is funnier than anything his character does. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Classic Movie Review One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)

Directed by Milos Forman

Written by Lawrence Hauben, Bo Goldman 

Starring Jack Nicholson, Louise Fletcher, William Redfield, Danny Devito, Christopher Lloyd 

Release Date November 19th, 1975 

This week’s classic, (August 13th, 2017) on the I Hate Critics Movie Review podcast was One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Milos Forman’s remarkable Best Picture winning triumph. It’s been years since I had sat down to watch this remarkable film and I was surprised at just how powerful the film remains. The story of patients in a mental ward whose lives are upended when they meet Jack Nicholson’s firebrand, criminally insane, R.P McMurphy, is truly unlike any film of its era.

R.P McMurphy is a dangerous man, a volatile personality. McMurphy’s reputation as a stirrer of the proverbial pot seems ill-suited from the very beginning for Nurse Ratched’s (Louise Fletcher) orderly, scheduled, and heavily medicated psych ward. In fact, on McMurphy’s very first day we get signs of things to come as he mugs his way about stirring up his fellow patients with his antics. It seems certain from our perspective in the audience that McMurphy is going to be trouble, the only question is how much trouble.

In a typical movie, the story would be McMurphy’s antics but director Milos Forman establishes throughout One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest that as entertaining as McMurphy is in the performance of the glorious Jack Nicholson, at the height of his charismatic powers, this isn’t a typical movie. We may delight at times in McMurphy’s antics, his escape attempts, his pot stirring, et cetera, but the movie is only here to observe a day to day progression of McMurphy, the patients around him and the staff of the hospital.

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review: Dumbo

Dumbo (2019)  

Directed by Tim Burton 

Written by Ehren Kruger

Starring Danny Devito, Colin Farrell, Michael Keaton, Eva Green 

Release Date March 29th, 2019

Published March 28th, 2019 

Dumbo is a good movie that I feel good about recommending. The film is solid, well-made, sturdy, family entertainment with just enough laughs and good nature to make it work. I find myself in an odd position with this statement however as I have received some backlash from my radio review of Dumbo. On the radio, I said that I liked the movie, that it was ‘good enough.’ This led to more than one listener asking me why I ‘don't like’ Dumbo. I’m here to tell you, I do like Dumbo despite its many notable flaws. 

Dumbo is the story of a little elephant born with giant ears who learns to fly with the help of a pair of ingenious siblings. This is a live action take on the 1941 Disney animated movie that, at 65 minutes in length, barely qualified to be called a ‘feature’ film. This version, crafted by daft auteur Tim Burton, is more than two hours long and feels about that long. Gone are the talking animals in favor of some well crafted human characters. Best of all, no problematic bird characters. 

Newcomers, Nico Parker and Finley Hobbins star in Dumbo as sister and brother, Milly and Joe Farrier. Milly and Joe recently lost their mother but are lucky to have their war hero father, Holt (Colin Farrell), back home from World War 1 and ready to resume life on the road with the Medici Brothers Circus, under the leadership of Max Medici (Danny Devito). Unfortunately, Holt lost an arm in the war and without his beloved wife, he’s lost his once vaunted horse show. 

With nothing else available with the circus, Max puts Holt in charge of the elephants and specifically, a new baby elephant that Max hopes will be the savior of the circus. Then, Max meets Dumbo and sees his giant, ungainly ears. Max doesn’t believe that Dumbo will be an asset to the circus and when Dumbo is mistreated by the circus roustabouts, Dumbo’s mom, Jumbo leaps to her son’s defense and a man is killed. 

Jumbo is deemed a dangerous animal and is sold to another circus. With his mother gone, Dumbo is left in the care of Milly and Joe who care for him and teach him a game. They begin blowing a feather back and forth only to find that when Dumbo sniffs the feather and sneezes, he flies up in the air with his giant ears as wings. Eventually, with prodding from Milly and Joe, Dumbo learns to fly and becomes the star of the circus. 

Naturally, the flying baby elephant gains nationwide notoriety and the attention of circus entrepreneur, V.A Vandervere (Michael Keaton). Vandervere makes Max his partner in a massive money venture that lands the entire Medici Circus in the big city where Dumbo will star alongside Collete (Eva Green), an acrobat in a brand new, outlandish show. Vandervere means to exploit Dumbo for all he’s worth, even if that means making sure Dumbo never sees his mom again. 

There are no spoilers in that description as there are more characters and more action to what I have described in this review in Dumbo. Tim Burton does well to craft a large, entertaining and colorful canvas. Despite that, this is not typical of Tim Burton’s style. There is an impersonal, mercenary quality to Dumbo that is unusual for Burton’s work. Burton directs like a director for hire rather than a director with a dedicated vision for telling this story. 

Dumbo has a perfunctory quality that makes the film far more average and standard than truly great entertainment. There is nothing really, terribly wrong with Dumbo, but it is not transcendent or memorable in the way Kenneth Branagh’s Cinderella was or even as elaborate and fantastical as the live action Beauty and the Beast. The scale feels smaller and the story lacks the kind of stakes that those films established. 

The biggest issues with Dumbo are more taste issues. For instance, I didn’t care for the way that Tim Burton directed Michael Keaton to be Johnny Depp-lite. Keaton’s Vandervere has all of the quirk and cadence of Johnny Depp at his most affected. The same could be said of Eva Green who is directed by Burton to play Colette exactly as Burton’s wife Helena Bonham Carter would have played her, with the same lilting affectations. 

This, aside from a few scenes reminiscent of the lovely watercolors of Alice in Wonderland, though far better than those dreadful movies, are the only Tim Burton signatures in Dumbo. As I mentioned earlier, he doesn’t appear invested in this story or this production in the way he has in his previous movies, specifically the movies he wrote and directed on his own. Burton appears comfortable having delivered screenwriter Ehren Kruger’s simplistic story to the screen with little innovation. 

Nevertheless, Dumbo is not a bad movie. Dumbo the character is quite engaging for a CGI creation and the flying scenes capture the wonder of the circus and a world where magic still seemed possible. The period setting has a dreamlike, magical quality and though the milquetoast heroes don’t standout all that much, they do enough to be rousing and charming enough to keep audiences engaged and in a pleasant mood. 

Dumbo is a good movie. It’s at the lower end of the modern Disney live action adaptations, above Alice in Wonderland and The Jungle Book but well below the transcendent masterpiece that was Cinderella and the lovely Beauty and the Beast. It will be interesting to rank Dumbo when Aladdin and The Lion King finally arrive in theaters this summer and next summer respectively. For now though, I do recommend taking the family to see Dumbo. 

Movie Review: The Big Kahuna

The Big Kahuna (2000) 

Directed by John Swanbeck 

Written by Roger Rueff 

Starring Kevin Spacey, Danny Devito, Peter Fascinelli 

Release Date April 28th, 2000 

Published February 2nd, 2002 

Will the real Kevin Spacey please come home! I'm talking about the Spacey who portrayed Verbal Kint in The Usual Suspects, Lester Burnham in American Beauty and John Doe in Seven. Not the Spacey who was the dour schoolteacher in Pay It Forward, the sanctified crazy in K-Pax or the dull schlub from The Shipping News. The last time we saw the real Kevin Spacey was the three-guys-in-a-hotel-room drama The Big Kahuna.

In The Big Kahuna, Spacey portrays Larry Mann, one of the best industrial lubricant salesman there is. Larry, along with partner and best friend Phil (Danny DeVito), are attending a convention to pitch their industrial lubricants to clients and while they are at it, they teach the business to a new recruit named Bob (Peter Fascinelli).

The film takes place all in one hotel room as the three salesman rehash the nights goings on and their seeming failure to find the big kahuna, the big client they desperately want to sign. As it turns out however, Bob actually did find the big kahuna, but instead of pitching him industrial lubricants they talk about their families and religion. This leads to a philosophical debate about the importance of family and God and what role, if any, they play in business. 

Larry is the hardliner married to the job at the expense of everything else. Phil is the would-be family man who longs for the ideals he gave up to be successful. For Bob, each of his two mentors represent two disparate paths, focus solely on work and become successful but lonely or focus on family and give up on the big sales and big money. A far more difficult decision than it seems.

The Big Kahuna doesn't have any big flashy set pieces, no chase scenes or mystery. It is essentially a stage play on film and each of the three actors is given a well-written monologue to explain their character and motivation. I must say what a joy it is to listen to intelligent people carry on intelligent conversation. Especially DeVito, whose calmness and maturity shines a light on what an under-appreciated talent he is. 

While Spacey does a good deal of screen chewing in The Big Kahuna, you still get the feeling of watching a real person, he's a salesman so larger than life showboating and grandstanding come with the territory. As for Peter Fascinelli he does a great job of not getting completely blown off the screen by his costars. 

Movie Review: Big Fish

Big Fish (2003) 

Directed by Tim Burton 

Written by John August 

Starring Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Billy Crudup, Jessica Lange, Steve Buscemi, Alison Lohman, Marion Cotillard, Danny Devito 

Release Date December 10th, 2003 

Published December 9th, 2003 

Tim Burton is a grand storyteller with a painter’s eye for color and depth. His films are often beautifully rendered and smartly written, a very rare combination. When his talent is fully engaged, as it was on his masterpieces Edward Scissorhands and Sleepy Hollow, he is an auteur that ranks with the all time greats. 

However, there are occasions when Burton seems less than engaged with his material, such as in his blockbuster works Planet Of The Apes and Batman Returns. His latest effort, Big Fish, looks like his kind of material but has moments when Burton doesn't feel fully committed to what is onscreen.

Ewan McGregor and Albert Finney portray Edward Bloom at two very different times in the man’s life. McGregor is the upstart Edward having grand adventures on his way to being something big. Finney's Edward is an old man on his deathbed, endless recalling the exploits of his young self.  Edward's son Will (Billy Crudup) has heard all of his father’s wild tales over and over again since he was a child. Now as his father's life is coming to an end, Will longs to know the truth. Instead, all he gets are more wild stories.

These dream sequences of young Edward Bloom are the kind of wild fantasies that Burton feels perfectly at home in. These stories include a real life giant played by Matthew McGrory, a circus with an eccentric ringleader (Danny Devito) and a city lost in time where there are no streets, just grass, and no one wears shoes. All of the stories are told with a magical veneer and there is slight sheen over the picture in these scenes that add to the dream imagery.

The central story to the flashbacks is Edward's romance with his wife Sandra, played by Alison Lohman and Jessica Lange. The romance is sweet, sincere and lovingly old fashioned and easily the film’s strongest subplot. What surrounds that story however, is somewhat unsatisfying.  We in the audience are like Edward's son, looking for a little bit of the real Edward Bloom. Listening to Albert Finney wheeze through a flashback setup, its not hard to see why Will is so exasperated with his father.

For his part Tim Burton isn't all that invested in his non-flashback scenes, preferring to put his artistic focus on the fantasy elements of the film. He seems to treat the other stuff as filler that give the flashbacks just enough context to get by. This makes for half of a very satisfying film.

The dreamlike fantasy flashbacks are artfully crafted fantasy, eye candy, humor and beauty. Unfortunately the other scenes, the non-fantasy scenes, are unsatisfying melodrama and good deal of screen chewing by Albert Finney. Billy Crudup does his best to ground these scenes, doing so well that he darn near saves the film with a terrific scene that takes place in a hospital room. It's a touching scene but not enough for me to give Big Fish a full recommendation. It’s not bad but this is not Burton at his best.

Movie Review Duplex

Duplex (2003) 

Directed by Danny Devito 

Written by Larry Doyle 

Starring Ben Stiller, Drew Barrymore, James Remar, Justin Theroux

Release Date September 26th, 2003 

Publushed September 25th, 2003 

As a director, Danny Devito has always had a taste for the darker side of human nature. Look at his resume, The War of the Roses, Throw Momma from the Train and Death to Smoochy, all comedies about trying to kill someone. Even the kid’s movie Matilda had a rather dark undertone to it. So, it's no surprise that he would be drawn to the dyspeptic comedy Duplex where a yuppie couple tries to kill a sweet old lady. Much like Death to Smoochy, the comic idea is in place, but the execution is off.

Duplex stars Ben Stiller as Alex and Drew Barrymore as his wife Nancy. Alex is a novelist nearly finished with his second book; Nancy is a magazine editor. The two are ready to move out of their cramped Manhattan apartment and think they have found the perfect spot. It's a two-story apartment in Brooklyn with a downstairs for them and an upstairs apartment that would be theirs if not for a long-standing tenant.

Mrs. Connelly (Eileen Essell) has lived in the building for what must be a hundred years. Because of New York's rent control laws, her rent is shockingly low, 88 dollars a month, and her lease is unbreakable. Poor Alex and Nancy, after seeing the old lady's apartment they could envision a lovely playroom for the child they plan to have someday. If only they could convince Mrs. Connelly to leave.

Even more frustrating than the old lady’s unwillingness to move is her constant presence in their lives. As they try to sleep, Mrs. Connelly is watching television at a rock concert level volume. When Alex stays home to complete his novel, he is constantly interrupted by Mrs. Connelly's requests for help with her plumbing or her shopping. Then when Alex leaves the apartment to write elsewhere, Mrs. Connelly starts calling Nancy at work eventually getting Nancy fired from her job.

All of this frustration finally leads to the couple deciding to kill the old bat. Their frustration may seem unreasonable because she is an old lady, but the film does shade Mrs. Connelly with a creepy vibe of purposeful torture. With the help of a local police officer (Robert Wisdom) who always happens to be at the right place when Mrs. Connelly needs him, Alex and Nancy are accused of numerous crimes and Alex gets shot in a place where Stiller is becoming used to the abuse (hint: franks and beans).

Director Devito wants us to hate the old lady as much as Alex and Nancy do. Unfortunately, in doing that, he tips his hand, and the plot becomes predictable. The film’s numerous plot holes don't help either but to reveal them would give away the story the same way the film does, way too early.

What I liked about Duplex was how early in the film Devito played off of our natural instinct to trust and revere old people. Everyone has always been told to respect your elders and help them when they need help. They are fragile and need our help, it's perfectly natural for Alex and Nancy to feel obligated to help. When the old woman becomes overbearing and even sinister is when Devito's test of your moral character comes in. How much can two people take from this old woman before they snap and more importantly how long can the audience go before, we start cheering for them to snap?

Stiller and Barrymore are up for anything in Duplex, especially Stiller who seems built to take punishment of all kinds. What is it about Stiller that makes directors want to abuse him? I don't know but he takes it better than most actors do and to great comic touch. Barrymore initially seems wrong for this role but quickly adapts to the darker parts of her character. It's Nancy who firsts wonder what they could do to get the old lady out and she's never merely along for the ride.

What doesn't work though are the comic situations that fill out the story to the length of the film. Too many of the situations press beyond believability and into contrivance. The jokes even help to give away the film’s ending, if you can't see it coming a mile away you weren't paying attention. The predictability of the story removes the tension from key scenes near the end and renders scenes in the middle meaningless.

Much like his Death To Smoochy, Devito plays off of a natural convention to test your morals. In Smoochy it was a kids show host with murderous rage. In Duplex, it's a married couple trying to kill an elderly woman. Both are interesting premises, but both were botched in execution through heavy handed plotting and scatological jokes that take place simply to fill time.

Movie Review: Death to Smoochy

Death to Smoochy (2002) 

Directed by Danny Devito

Written by Adan Resnick 

Starring Edward Norton, Robin Williams, Catherine Keener, Jon Stewart, Pam Ferris

Release Date March 29th, 2002

Published March 28th, 2002

I'm not one of those people who harbor a visceral hatred for kids show hosts. Frankly if you feel the need to, even jokingly, take the life of one of the Teletubbies, you need to examine your anger issues. Nonetheless if you are one of the degenerates who sign online petitions to have Barney drawn and quartered, you may be just the audience for Death To Smoochy.

Smoochy is, at first, the story of kid’s show icon Rainbow Randall. On TV, Randall is a paragon of childish virtue and off-screen he is a boozing, drugging womanizer who makes cash under the table selling prime space on his show for parents who want their kid on TV. After the IRS catches up to Randall, he loses his show and eventually his mind. Enter Sheldon Mopes AKA Smoochy the Rhino played by Edward Norton. Smoochy is a good-hearted vegetarian who spends his free time performing his unusual kid’s songs at methadone clinics. After being discovered by a TV executive played by Catherine Keener Smoochy moves onto primetime TV and becomes the sick obsession of Randall.

There are also subplots involving Jon Stewart's network executive and Danny Devito's talent agent conspiring with an evil charity organization to put on an ice show and something to do with Irish mobsters. Honestly once you get to the mobsters, the film has become so incoherent you don't care why they are in the movie. There are a few funny moments in Smoochy, especially Norton's weird and creepy kids songs that I pray are on the film’s soundtrack. Also, the film’s ice show climax is so amazingly elaborate and over the top it almost saves the picture.

Unfortunately those moments lack the proper context to be truly funny, and the films narrative structure, or lack thereof, ruins any of the films remaining comic potential.

Though Norton and Williams are funny, the supporting performances are not, especially Keener whose innate intelligence renders her unable to sell the film’s broadly comic setups. In the end, Death To Smoochy is an occasionally funny mess that wants to be a dark comedy, but turns out to be just plain dark.