Horror in the 90s Tales from the Darkside

Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990) 

Directed by John Harrison

Written by Michael McDowell, George A. Romero 

Starring Debbie Harry, Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, Christian Slater, James Remar, Rae Dawn Chong

Release Date May 4th, 1990 

Box Office Gross $16.3 million

Why don't more people talk about how great Tales from the Darkside The Movie is? I've seen Tales from the Darkside The Movie a few times but somehow, it wasn't until this viewing that it really clicked for me. This anthology of three horror movies, and one wraparound segment, combines the talents of Stephen King, George Romero and a powerhouse cast, across four stories, to deliver one of the most consistently entertaining horror movies of the 1990s. 

Let's begin with our wrap-around story. Tales from the Darkside: The Movie opens on a peaceful suburban milieu. A lovely looking woman has purchased groceries and is returning home to start dinner for a dinner party. This is classic horror movie stuff as perverting the pristine perfection of suburban life is a classic trope. The first signs of such perversions of norms only arrives once we are inside the home of that plain Jane woman and her groceries. 

We arrive in the home of Betty, played by rock icon Debbie Harry, before she does. While she's getting her groceries, the camera takes us into her home and a strange looking broom is propped against a wall. While we puzzle over the broom, which brings to mind a witches broom, we begin to hear a noise. The camera slowly reveals a door in the kitchen and someone struggling to open the door before fearfully retreating when Betty comes inside. The skillful visual filmmaking tells us everything we need to know, Betty is a witch and whoever is in that locked pantry, is her prisoner. 

Perverting things even further, Betty soon reveals her victim, tiny moppet with floppy hair and a crooked grin. This is Timmy (Matthew Lawrence) and we soon learn that Timmy is set to be that night's main course as Betty is bringing her witch friends over for a Timmy casserole. In a desperate attempt to keep himself alive, Timmy grabs a story book called Tales from the Darkside and offers to tell Betty a scary story as a reason to keep him alive. She agrees and we proceed with our first terrific story. 

The most star-studded of our three stories was not quite so star-studded at the time of release. Lot 249 stars a pair of stars before they became big stars. Steve Buscemi and Julianne Moore were at the beginning of what would be lengthy and critically acclaimed careers when they played academic rivals in Lot 249, the story of a man and his mummy. Christian Slater, already having become a leading man by 1990, is the best known of the cast which is rounded out by lesser known character actor Robert Sedgwick. 

Lot 249 is a tale of revenge as Edward Bellingham (Buscemi) is convinced that a rich idiot, Lee (Robert Sedgwick), has used his influence, and his equally rich and duplicitous girlfriend, Susan (Moore), to steal a lucrative scholarship from him. The loss may force Bellingham to have to leave school just as he is on the verge of an astonishing breakthrough in his research on ancient Egypt. Through nefarious circumstance, Bellingham has secured Lot 249, an ancient Egyptian sarcophagus that could be worth millions, depending on what he finds inside. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review The Girl Next Door

The Girl Next Door (2004) 

Directed by Luke Greenfield

Written by Luke Greenfield, Stuart Bloomberg, 3 Other Screenwriters

Starring Emile Hirsch, Elisha Cuthbert, Timothy Olyphant, James Remar, Paul Dano 

Release Date April 9th, 2004 

Published April 10th, 2004

When do you think Hollywood ran out of original ideas? It's been awhile I know that, but I never imagined just how bad things were until I saw the latest commercial campaign for the teen sex comedy The Girl Next Door. The ad campaign actually touts the film’s lack of an original idea, calling the film American Pie meets Risky Business. This isn't the first unoriginal idea but it's the rare example of a film that doesn't try to hide it in some way. The Girl Next Door comes right out and admits that it has not one original idea and watching the film reinforces just that.

Emile Hirsch stars as Matthew. He’s class president, valedictorian and on his way to law school at Georgetown University. That is until he meets the titular girl next door, Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert). The two kids meet cute as Matthew spies on Danielle from his bedroom window. She catches him and turns the tables on him, taking him out for some public humiliation, the funniest moment in the film.

From there begins a rather dull movie courtship where the straight-laced Matthew comes out of his shell with the help of the wild child Danielle. Like every romantic comedy, there is a roadblock and this one is a doozy. It seems that in a previous life, Danielle was a pornstar and her past is catching up with her in the form of her former director Kelly (Timothy Olyphant). Kelly wants her back in front of the camera and will do anything to get her back. It's up to Matthew and a pair of his high school buddies to help her find a way out.

I will give the ad campaign of the film a little credit, it doesn't lie. The film does indeed lift liberally from both American Pie and Risky Business. In fact, Risky's writer-director Paul Brickman should be seeking a writing credit and some compensation for the direct rip-offs employed by director Luke Greenfield and writers David Wagner and Brent Goldberg. Simply switch the film’s porno storyline with Risky's hooker storyline and you have nearly the same film. 

Whereas Tom Cruise's character becomes a pimp in order to pay off Rebecca Demornay's debt to Joe Pantoliano, Emile Hirsch's Matthew directs a porn film with the help of Danielle's porn star friends to pay off her debt to Timothy Olyphant’s Kelly. Where Cruise and Demornay have sex on the subway, Hirsch and Cuthbert have sex in a limousine. And on and on.

There was one good thing about Girl Next Door and that was the lovely Elisha Cuthbert who, despite a weak script that does her few favors, manages to shine with a sweet and sexy performance. Cuthbert helps Hirsch's rather weak performance when they are on screen together, but when it's just Hirsch, the star of the terrific indie film The Secret Lives Of Altar Boys, he and the film struggle mightily. Hirsch may have a bright future ahead of him but he needs to choose his scripts better. More Alter Boys style stuff and no more teen sex comedies.

The Girl Next Door is yet another example of cynical Hollywood filmmaking that puts demographics ahead of actual filmmaking. This is a film that was approved in the pitch meeting by executives who didn't care if there was a good script as long as they had the right amount of T&A; to parade in front of the camera and enough familiar elements to lull audiences into mindless nostalgia. I can't register honest surprise about this film but I can lament it and decry it.

Movie Review Duplex

Duplex (2003) 

Directed by Danny Devito 

Written by Larry Doyle 

Starring Ben Stiller, Drew Barrymore, James Remar, Justin Theroux

Release Date September 26th, 2003 

Publushed September 25th, 2003 

As a director, Danny Devito has always had a taste for the darker side of human nature. Look at his resume, The War of the Roses, Throw Momma from the Train and Death to Smoochy, all comedies about trying to kill someone. Even the kid’s movie Matilda had a rather dark undertone to it. So, it's no surprise that he would be drawn to the dyspeptic comedy Duplex where a yuppie couple tries to kill a sweet old lady. Much like Death to Smoochy, the comic idea is in place, but the execution is off.

Duplex stars Ben Stiller as Alex and Drew Barrymore as his wife Nancy. Alex is a novelist nearly finished with his second book; Nancy is a magazine editor. The two are ready to move out of their cramped Manhattan apartment and think they have found the perfect spot. It's a two-story apartment in Brooklyn with a downstairs for them and an upstairs apartment that would be theirs if not for a long-standing tenant.

Mrs. Connelly (Eileen Essell) has lived in the building for what must be a hundred years. Because of New York's rent control laws, her rent is shockingly low, 88 dollars a month, and her lease is unbreakable. Poor Alex and Nancy, after seeing the old lady's apartment they could envision a lovely playroom for the child they plan to have someday. If only they could convince Mrs. Connelly to leave.

Even more frustrating than the old lady’s unwillingness to move is her constant presence in their lives. As they try to sleep, Mrs. Connelly is watching television at a rock concert level volume. When Alex stays home to complete his novel, he is constantly interrupted by Mrs. Connelly's requests for help with her plumbing or her shopping. Then when Alex leaves the apartment to write elsewhere, Mrs. Connelly starts calling Nancy at work eventually getting Nancy fired from her job.

All of this frustration finally leads to the couple deciding to kill the old bat. Their frustration may seem unreasonable because she is an old lady, but the film does shade Mrs. Connelly with a creepy vibe of purposeful torture. With the help of a local police officer (Robert Wisdom) who always happens to be at the right place when Mrs. Connelly needs him, Alex and Nancy are accused of numerous crimes and Alex gets shot in a place where Stiller is becoming used to the abuse (hint: franks and beans).

Director Devito wants us to hate the old lady as much as Alex and Nancy do. Unfortunately, in doing that, he tips his hand, and the plot becomes predictable. The film’s numerous plot holes don't help either but to reveal them would give away the story the same way the film does, way too early.

What I liked about Duplex was how early in the film Devito played off of our natural instinct to trust and revere old people. Everyone has always been told to respect your elders and help them when they need help. They are fragile and need our help, it's perfectly natural for Alex and Nancy to feel obligated to help. When the old woman becomes overbearing and even sinister is when Devito's test of your moral character comes in. How much can two people take from this old woman before they snap and more importantly how long can the audience go before, we start cheering for them to snap?

Stiller and Barrymore are up for anything in Duplex, especially Stiller who seems built to take punishment of all kinds. What is it about Stiller that makes directors want to abuse him? I don't know but he takes it better than most actors do and to great comic touch. Barrymore initially seems wrong for this role but quickly adapts to the darker parts of her character. It's Nancy who firsts wonder what they could do to get the old lady out and she's never merely along for the ride.

What doesn't work though are the comic situations that fill out the story to the length of the film. Too many of the situations press beyond believability and into contrivance. The jokes even help to give away the film’s ending, if you can't see it coming a mile away you weren't paying attention. The predictability of the story removes the tension from key scenes near the end and renders scenes in the middle meaningless.

Much like his Death To Smoochy, Devito plays off of a natural convention to test your morals. In Smoochy it was a kids show host with murderous rage. In Duplex, it's a married couple trying to kill an elderly woman. Both are interesting premises, but both were botched in execution through heavy handed plotting and scatological jokes that take place simply to fill time.