Movie Review: A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas

A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas (2011) 

Directed by Todd Strauss-Schulman

Written by Jay Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Starring John Cho, Kal Penn, Neil Patrick Harris, Paula Garces, Daneel Ackles

Release Date November 4th, 2011

Published November 3rd, 2011

"A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas" is gloriously offensive. There are scenes of such specifically offensive humor that I really don't feel comfortable describing what takes place in any kind of detail. With that offensiveness stipulated, let me state clearly that I loved this movie. I'm not sure I can recommend it, but I love. "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas" finds our friends Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn) having grown apart. Harold has chosen to become a grown up. He has a job on Wall Street, a house in the suburbs and he and his wife Maria (Paula Garces) are trying to have a baby.

Kumar on the other hand has stunted his maturity. Kumar is a degenerate pothead, who we see buying pot and smoking up with a mall Santa Claus in the opening scenes of the film. Kumar lost his job because he failed a drug test and lost his girlfriend (Daneel Ackles) because of his slothfulness. Our heroes are reunited when a package appears at Kumar's apartment addressed to Harold. Kumar delivers the package to Harold's house and from there the latest H & K adventure begins and proceeds in the most irreverent and stunningly offensive fashion.

Also returning for "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas" is the brilliant Neil Patrick Harris who finds new and wondrous ways to send up himself. Harris came out a few years ago and naturally Harris makes great sport of his homosexuality in "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas." Thomas Lennon gets in on the fun in A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas. Lennon, best known for "Reno 911," plays Harold's straight-laced suburban best friend Todd. Poor Todd and his baby daughter Ava get dragged into H & K's adventure and what happens to little Ava will have many parents in the audience either rolling with laughter or asking for their money back at the box office.

I can't stress this enough, if you are offended by drugs, sex, violence, racial humor and such, you don't want to attempt to watch "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas." This movie presses the most offensive hot buttons and does not let up for more than 90 minutes. A particularly offensive and completely hilarious scene involves paying homage to the holiday classic "A Christmas Story" in a way that you must see to believe. There is also a reference to "Annie Hall" involving the baby girl Ava that is startlingly funny.

"A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas" is up there with "Bridesmaids" as one of the funniest movies of 2011. I completely loved this movie and I cannot recommend it for any audience. The film is so outlandish and so very, very, very R-rated that only a select audience will be able to tolerate the well beyond risqué humor. How "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas" did not get saddled with an NC-17 rating is beyond me; the film definitely is offensive enough to deserve it. If you are not easily offended, you are going to love "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas."

Movie Review: The Matrix Resurrections

Matrix Resurrections (2021) 

Directed by Lana Wachowski 

Written by Lana Wachowski 

Starring Keanu Reeves, Jonathan Groff, Yahya Abdul Mateen II, Neil Patrick Harris, Jessica Henwick, Carrie Ann Moss

Release Date December 22nd, 2021 

Published August 20th, 2022 

The story of Matrix Resurrections proceeds as a pursuit of Neo by those who wish to save and protect Neo from a world that wishes to exploit him. That’s a description of the plot of Matrix Resurrections and a description of how modern popular culture feels about Keanu Reeves the actor. Any check of social media searches of Keanu Reeves reveals a wholesome, earnest appreciation for Keanu and his down to Earth approach to being a worldwide celebrity. 

The Matrix Resurrections picks up with Thomas Anderson/Neo working as a video game developer. Thomas’s most popular game is called ‘The Matrix’ and the incidents that we witness in the original Matrix trilogy are now things that happened in the video game that Thomas Anderson developed with his partner, Mr. Smith (Jonathan Goff). The plot kicks in when Thomas Anderson subconsciously creates a simulation in his code that creates a new program called, Morpheus (Yahya Abdul Mateen II). 

The Morpheus program catches the eye of Bugs (Jessica Henwick), a ship’s Captain in the real world who recognizes this strange blip in the code and goes to investigate it. Bugs ends up pulling Morpheus out of the Matrix and this begins their search for Neo, The One, the man who went missing many years earlier after being viewed by many as a God who may have the ability to destroy the Matrix and end the tyranny of the God-like machines that enslave humanity and have been trying to crush what remains of a society outside of their control. 

The Matrix Resurrections is very smartly cast with each choice providing a clever new layer to the Matrix mythos. The best addition to the cast is Jessica Henwick, a sort of fan insert character both fan-girlng over being the one to find Neo and getting the chance to protect and preserve his legend. Henwick is a capable action star, a convincing badass, and a hard as nails Captain as she lives out our fantasy of protecting Keanu Reeves from all harm. I say that in jest but it’s true, if you love Keanu you’d likely leap at the chance to protect him from harm. That makes Bugs a terrific fan avatar, smart and capable, tough and laying down her life on behalf of our beloved hero. 

Also joining the cast Neil Patrick Harris, an obvious program, at least to us, as he plays Psychiatrist to Thomas Anderson, feeding him Blue pills and repeatedly reassuring Thomas Anderson that this life he created for himself, the Matrix, is all in his mind. Harris is snaky and charming in the role, a proper and unique antagonist for this franchise entry. Bonus points for recognizing a distinct disdain for the industry of psychiatry of which director Lana Wachowski is not a fan. 

Then there is the glorious Jonathan Groff, the erstwhile King George of Hamilton, taking over the role of ‘Agent’ Smith. In the story that Neo is living in, Smith is his antagonistic business partner, a thorn in his side but one he can’t live without. The parallels between Thomas Anderson’s new life and Neo’s old life endlessly fighting with Agent Smith within the rubbery reality of The Matrix are beautifully illustrated even as Smith’s existence in this sequel story is a tad bit mystifying. 

Yes, there are reasons why both Morpheus and Agent Smith do not appear in their original form but you must discover that on your own by watching The Matrix Resurrections. And that is something I do recommend even as the movie does spin its wheels a bit while underlining Neo’s life as Thomas Anderson and the boring and suspicious repetitions in his daily routine. Once the movie advances to the real world things get much more interesting. 

Big shoutout to Jada Pinkett Smith who is excellent in her too short role. Some will complain about her makeup job but, for me, her performance is too good to complain about cakey makeup. Jada Pinkett Smith delivers gravitas and a believable sense of conflicted emotions, resentment and hurt battling against a sincere care and hope. It’s a very small role but Pinkett-Smith’s Niobe is a great way to link the past and the present in surprising and exciting ways. Her motivation and conflict is given weight and care. 

I also want to highlight the score which is exceptional. The final act score is propulsive to the point of exhausting, in a good way. The music, credited to Johnny Klimek and Tom Tykwer, and the chaotic action of the final moments of The Matrix Resurrections combines the electronica infused score of the early 2000s Matrix sequels with a post-modern orchestral sound heavy on piano and choir to deepen and enrich the electronica sound that Tykwer brought to the fore throughout his career. 

Is The Matrix Resurrections preaching to the choir, using nostalgia to appeal to a built in fanbase? Perhaps, but, since I am a member of that built-in fanbase, I didn’t really mind. Unlike supposed original concept blockbusters from this past year, the team behind The Matrix Resurrections are really good at making a blockbuster movie that doesn’t feel like just another cash grab. There is a strong sense in the work of co-writer and director Lana Wachowski had a story she really wanted to tell, far beyond the profit motivation that was undeniably always there. 

The Matrix Resurrections debuted in theaters and streaming on HBO Max on December 22nd, 2021.

Movie Review Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008) 

Directed Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Written by Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Starring John Cho, Kal Penn, Rob Corddry, Neil Patrick Harris

Release Date April 25th, 2008

Published April 25th, 2008

Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle was a harmless little stoner comedy with two likable if not all that well known stars. That same description still fits as Harold and Kumar get sequelized in Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay. John Cho and Kal Penn are becoming better known and they have a lovable chemistry but saddled with gags that likely will not age well in the years to come, they come up short in Escape from Guantanamo Bay. 

Picking up where the original film left off, Harold and Kumar are just an hour away from boarding a flight to Amsterdam where Harold (John Cho) hopes to win the heart of Maria (Paula Garces). Kumar is supporting his buddy but the opportunity for some legalized weed smoking in the sin capital of Europe holds just as much appeal for him.

Unfortunately for Harold, Kumar cannot wait to get to Amsterdam before he gets high again. Fashioning a device he claims is a smokeless bong, Kumar intends to get high in the airplane bathroom when his bong is glimpsed by another passenger and he is mistaken as a terrorist with a bomb. Coming to his aid, Harold too is called a terrorist and the plane is sent home so our heroes can be arrested.

Confronted by an overzealous homeland security agent (Rob Corddry), Harold and Kumar wind up at the terrorist holding facility at Guantanamo Bay desperate to escape. They hope to reach Texas where a well connected friend might get them out of trouble. That friend happens to be marrying Kumar's ex Vanessa (Daneel Harris) adding some tension to the situation.

That plot gives Harold and Kumar a little motivation. The crux of Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay however is lowbrow gross out humor (two characters get peed on, amongst other gross out gags), a whole lot of drug humor, and some daring if clumsy racial humor. Race played a small but pivotal role in the original film as H & K faced off with a number of racists and stereotypes.

In Escape From Guantanamo Bay the racial component of the story becomes far more prominent. Kumar's skin color gets him pulled out line for extra security checks at the airport. On the plane an old woman is horrified to be on the flight with Kumar, imagining him as a terrorist. Finally, Rob Corddry's Homeland Security agent engages in every imaginable stereotype as he investigates Harold and Kumar's escape.

Equal opportunity offenders, Harold and Kumar themselves judge books by their cover especially in a detour through Alabama and an encounter with a backwoods resident with a number of surprises in store. As I said, the racial humor of Harold and Kumar is clumsy at best. It has the wit of one of those drunken college parties meant to protest political correctness but is really just mildly racist.

Most damaging however is that Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay is not nearly as funny as it thinks it is. Many scenes show Harold and Kumar and their supporting cast delighting in their antics to a degree of joy and humor well beyond anything the audience is feeling. I'm glad they had a good time, I just wish I had had a better time watching.

Movie Review Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (2004) 

Directed by Danny Leiner

Written by Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg

Starring John Cho, Kal Penn, Neil Patrick Harris, Ryan Reynolds, Anthony Anderson, Malin Akerman

Release Date July 30th, 2004 

Published July 29th, 2004 

I can’t be the only one for whom the words “From the Director of Dude Where’s My Car” are not reassuring. That said, you can’t judge a filmmaker by his only film. Director Danny Leiner deserves a chance to make a second impression. However, when I heard that his Dude follow-up was called Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, I was less than enthusiastic. From the depths of low expectations can spring something amazing and Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle is amazing for the fact that it doesn’t suck.

Harold and Kumar are your typically mismatched pair of lifelong friends. Harold (John Cho) is a neurotic investment banker who is constantly put upon by his co-workers. Kumar (Kal Penn) has a high IQ and the test scores to go to any med school in the country, but he’d rather live off of his dad’s money and smoke some weed.

Well Harold and Kumar have that in common, they both smoke weed and when a White Castle commercial pops up on television they know exactly where to cure the munchies that accompany smoking the chronic. Kumar thinks he knows where the closest White Castle is but you know this is a buddy comedy road movie so this will not be that easy.

On the way to White Castle, Harold and Kumar encounter a group of skinhead extreme sports guys, a backwoods hick with a taste for group sex, an escaped leopard, racist cops and Neil Patrick Harris. Yes, that Neil Patrick Harris in the best of numerous cameos that also include Jaime Kennedy, Anthony Anderson and an unrecognizable Christopher Meloni as the previously mentioned backwoodsman.

The unique thing about Harold and Kumar is the smart satirical way it treats race. Harold is Korean, Kumar is Indian, but neither is defined by their ethnicity. They face racism at every turn and eventually they fight back in funny anarchic fashion, stealing cars, breaking into and out of prison, riding a leopard (see it for yourself).

Cho and Penn are a pair of terrific comic actors. Great chemistry, timing and charm. These two are really likable and you can’t help but cheer for them every humiliating, degrading step of the way. The few scenes they share with Neil Patrick Harris in a cameo as himself are absolutely hysterical. We have seen this type of career send up before, The Simpsons are famous for tweaking an actor’s past persona for ironic laughs, this time it’s somehow fresh and smart. That is because Harris is so committed and Cho and Penn sell the jokes so well.

Director Danny Leiner still has a way to go before we start praising his technique but this is unquestionably an improvement over Dude Where’s My Car. Of course, ninety minutes of blank screen would be an improvement over that film, but I’m trying to pay the guy a compliment. Harold and Kumar is a stoner comedy with all the stoner comedy beats and expected jokes. It’s juvenile and wades into the muck of gross out humor that genre does best.

Harold and Kumar would be valuable for just providing the rare starring role for a Korean guy and an Indian guy. It transcends that because those guys are actually very funny.

Movie Review: Undercover Brother

Undercover Brother (2002) 

Directed by Malcolm D. Lee 

Written by John Ridley 

Starring Eddie Griffin, Denise Richards, Dave Chappelle, Aunjanue Ellis, Gary Anthony Williams, Neil Patrick Harris, Billy Dee Williams

Release Date May 31st 2002 

Published May 30th, 2002

Eddie Griffin is a fantastic standup comedian, with what may be the best Michael Jackson impression on the planet. As an actor however Griffin has yet to find himself. Griffin's acting resume includes 2001's worst film Double Take and worst film candidate 2002 The New Guy. Now with his new film Undercover Brother, Griffin has found himself in what may be the funniest movie of the year.

Griffin is the titular Undercover Brother, a 70's throwback to the era of Blaxploitation who takes it upon himself to steal from the rich and give to the poor inner city black folks. As one character puts it he's a "Soul Train reject with a Robin Hood complex". After breaking into a bank and destroying the mortgages of poor people who couldn't afford to pay, UC is recruited by the Brotherhood. The Brotherhood is an underground organization dedicated to the protection of black culture from the evil ministrations of "The Man". 

It's headed up by the Chief (Chi McBride), and his top agents, Sistah Girl (smokin hot Aunjenue Ellis) and Conspiracy Brother (comedy's secret weapon Dave Chappelle). Also on the team are the computer expert Smart Brother (Gary Anthony Williams) and white boy intern Lance (Doogie Howser's Neil Patrick Harris), affirmative action hire. Undercover Brother teams with the Brotherhood to save a black presidential candidate played by Billy Dee Williams who has fallen under the control of the Man and now instead of running for office, he plans to open a chain of Fried Chicken Restaurant's complete with grits, greens and a complimentary 40 ounce malt liquor.

That's just a sample of Director Malcolm Lee and writer John Ridley's satire of African American stereotypes, they have far more satiric jabs for white people including swipes at white people's love of the show Friends and their peculiar love of mayonnaise. One of the best satirical moments is the send up of the black man's weakness for white women as Undercover Brother is seduced by the evil White She Devil (Denise Richards).

Chris Kattan rounds out the cast as The Man's evil henchman Mr. Feathers, and the film does the seemingly impossible, it's makes both Kattan and Eddie Griffin funny! Undercover Brother's showdown with Mr. Feathers toward the end of the film, set to Michael Jackson's Beat It, is absolutely hysterical, making use of Griffin's years of dance training and Kattan's completely inept attempt at dancing.

While the film cribs heavily from Austin Powers; hysterically out-of-date hero and over-the-top gags, if your going to steal you might as well steal from a good movie. The film also owes a great deal to other satirical looks at race relations and Afro American culture, from the films of Spike Lee to Eriq Lasalle's little seen Gem The Drop Squad and the Wayans brothers brilliant Blaxploitation send up I'm Gonna Git You Sucka. Spike Lee, by the way, is Director Malcolm Lee's cousin, and while Malcolm doesn't have Spike's social conscience he has his sense of humor and it is well tuned in Undercover Brother.

For the first time in a long time we get a comedy that is actually FUNNY. I can barely remember the last Hollywood film that was as consistently funny as Undercover Brother. It’s all due to the confident lead performance of Eddie Griffin, the smoking hot performances of Richards and Ellis, and the well-played satire of Director Lee and Writer John Ridley, on whose web cartoon the film is based. Undercover Brother is an early candidate for the Best Comedy of 2002. And with the comedies Hollywood usually makes you might pencil it in as the winner now.

Movie Review: Beastly

Beastly (2011) 

Directed by Daniel Barnz 

Written by Daniel Barnz 

Starring Alex Pettyfer, Vanessa Hudgens, Mary Kate Olson, Neil Patrick Harris, Dakota Johnson

Release Date March 4th, 2011 

Published March 3rd, 2011 

Take the legendary French faery tale “Beauty and the Beast” and cross it with the elegant and joyous Disney cartoon and Jean Cocteau's artist's rendering of the story from 1946 and then throw all of it in the trash save for the very barest bones of the original premise and you find “Beastly,” a dreary rendering of a 2007 novel that was already a shallow recreation of what came before.

”Beastly” stars Alex Pettyfer as Kyle an ugly on the inside Big Man on Campus who tells anyone who will listen how easy life is when you are incredibly good looking. He's ‘Zoolander’ without the irony and dumber. Kyle is cursed by Kendra (Mary Kate Olson), a witch, who sentences Kyle to magically become as ugly on the outside as he is inside.

Suddenly, Kyle has scars all over his head and weird tattoos that cohere to the seasons as they pass. Kyle has one year from the beginning of his curse to find a woman who will love him despite his hideousness.  The top candidate for this gig is Lindy (Vanessa Hudgens), a not so popular but pretty girl who cares about the environment.

How Lindy comes to live in Kyle's posh riverside digs, paid for by his news anchor daddy (Peter Krause), is one of a litany of contrivances in “Beastly.” Briefly, Kyle becomes a stalker Batman who rescues Lindy from drug dealers and saves her druggie dad from a murder rap. The filmmakers craft this scenario with a deathly seriousness that only underlines how over the top nutty it all is.

Then there is Kyle and Lindy's eventual romance which happens as they spend several months with Kyle's tutor, played by Neil Patrick Harris as a blind man, studying one single poem. Now, to be fair, with the amount of depth given to these two characters one cannot be surprised that it would take them several months to read a single poem but one would think they would eventually move on to the meanings and themes at least.

Now, no one wants to watch these two pretty folks learn anything; we want to watch them fall in love. And what a treat that is as after their months of poem reading, Kyle and Lindy do fall in love but her daddy gets in the way leaving Kyle only days to get her to say 'I love you.’ This leads to the film's next bizarre contrivance called 'why doesn't dorko just answer his stupid phone instead of waiting to confess his love at the last minute of the last day.' But that is a little too spoilery, so I won't go into it.

”Beastly” is a serious bit of foolishness, a post-ironic love story that begs for a little knowing wink and someone other than Neil Patrick Harris to puncture the pompous sincerity on display. Nothing against Mr. Harris who has the film's only sense of humor but he is merely playing his ‘How I Met Your Mother’ character as a blind guy. It's a lazy performance but then Harris is likely the only one who saw the writing on the wall and figured 'why bother with my best effort.'

Alex Pettyfer sure is pretty and with “Beastly” and last month's “I Am Number 4” Hollywood seems dedicated to making him happen. That's lucky for Mr. Pettyfer because if Hollywood were merit based rather than 'look at me' based he might be struggling for a TV pilot right now. Instead I am sure Mr. Pettyfer is readying some sort of summer or fall picture that will once again show off his shirtlessness.

In fairness to Alex Pettyfer, Hollywood did the same thing to Johnny Depp and Heath Ledger and both reacted by going into their heads, rebelling against the system and finding depths that no one expected of them. Mr. Ledger's sad fate aside, Mr. Pettyfer still has a chance to rebel against the image makers and craft his own path to real stardom.