Movie Review Maybe I Do

Maybe I Do (2023) 

Directed by Michael Jacobs 

Written by Michael Jacobs 

Starring Diane Keaton, Richard Gere, William H. Macy, Susan Sarandon, Emma Roberts 

Release Date January 27th, 2023

Published January 28th, 2023

Somewhere there is a dusty shelf that someone cleaning that hadn't been cleaned since 1994. On that shelf was a script for a truly awful romantic comedy called Maybe I Do. To whomever failed to leave this script on that dusty, forgotten shelf is a truly cruel human being. The script for Maybe I Do belongs on an ash heap, not on a big screen. This insipid throwback to awful boomer politics of the time when their opinion of popular culture mattered, is a relic of a time when men made jokes about hating their wives and wives joked about their husband's inability to satisfy them sexually. Ugh! 

That this insipid film stars Diane Keaton is seemingly inevitable. The once great actress has an uncanny ability to find the absolute worst movies that play to her worst instincts as an actress. How a woman with this much talent manages to choose the worst movies is some kind of cosmic joke. Keaton's last 20 plus years include some of the worst movies of this young century and Maybe I Do belongs to that epic, awful canon of the worst of the worst. 

In Maybe I Do, Diane Keaton plays a married woman whose idea of lying to her husband, Richard Gere, is going to the movies by herself. Meanwhile, her terrible husband is off having sex with his sort of mistress played by Susan Sarandon. Gere hates Sarandon and lets her know that in no uncertain terms. She still wants to have sex with him. When he finally decides to end things with her, basically stating how much he hates her, Sarandon says she will kill him if she sees him again. Plot point! 

Meanwhile, while at her elicit movie, Keaton meets a sadsack played by an actor who embodies that term all too well, Wiilliam H. Macy. Seeing Macy crying his eyes out over whatever movie they were watching; Keaton takes pity to comfort him. This leads them to spend the evening together but not in the way you think. They do go and get a hotel but it's only so that they can watch TV, eat fried chicken, and talk about the misery of their loves with their miserable spouses. 

You get no points for guessing that Keaton's spouse is Gere and that Macy's spouse is Sarandon. Making this convoluted nonsense even more convoluted is the other plot of Maybe I Do. At a wedding between their closest friends, Emma Roberts and Luke Bracey appear to be a very happy couple. Then, Bracey sees Roberts about to catch the bouquet and he loses his ever-loving mind. Racing across the room, he leaps off of a table and catches the bouquet right out of his girlfriend's hands. 

Find my full length review linked here at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review The Family Stone

The Family Stone (2005) 

Directed by Thomas Bezucha 

Written by Thomas Bezucha 

Starring Diane Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Dermot Mulroney, Craig T. Nelson, Sarah Jessica Parker

Release Date December 16th, 2005

Published December 16th, 2005 

Streaming on Starz via Amazon Prime 

The amazing Diane Keaton has become an icon of grace and sensibility. Her Oscar nominated roles in Reds , Annie Hall and Something's Gotta Give are marvelous examples of her range and exceptional talent. Even lesser works like The First Wives Club are elevated by her presence. Casting Diane Keaton is like buying insurance against a bad script. Even a script as weak as the one for Keaton's latest film The Family Stone, looks a lot better for having her in it.

It doesn't hurt that Keaton's involvement helped entice an A-list of actors to play her children, Rachel McAdams, Dermot Mulroney and Luke Wilson, in this tepid holiday dramedy. Proof that a great cast can make the bitter pill of cliche go down like eggnog.

Diane Keaton stars in The Family Stone, as Sybil the matriarch of a large brood of grown children. With her college professor hubby, Kelly (Craig T. Nelson), Sybil is welcoming her five kids, and their various tagalongs, home for christmas. This year the Stone's are playing host to one particularly interesting guest. Her name is Meredith and if all goes according to plans she will soon be the oldest Stone son Everett's (Dermot Mulroney) fiancee.

Unfortunately for Everett, Meredith's stick in the mud, buttoned up personality has already rubbed his family the wrong way. Everett's youngest sister Amy (Rachel McAdams) has met Meredith and decided she hates her. Amy has busily poisoned the family well, including older sister Susannah (Elizabeth Reaser), middle child Thad (Tyrone Giordano) and his partner, Patrick (Brian J. White). Dad and his other son Ben (Luke Wilson) at least attempt to be open to Meredith.

The Family Stone breaks down to a sort of red state-blue state conflict. The Stones are liberal, ivy leaguers with a gay son who is also deaf and dating a black guy and Meredith represents the uptight, conservative business-minded red staters. The conflict is a battle for Everett's soul. Will he return to his old liberal open-minded self or marry Meredith and become a Bush voter?

Supposedly helping Meredith fight this battle is her sister Julie (Claire Danes) but unfortunately her late arrival only serves to make things worse.

The Family Stone attempts to mix screwball family comedy and heartfelt family drama with subplots including a dramatic disease and a chase scene to stop a character from leaving town forever. It's a difficult and well-worn mixture and one the film bears only because of the expert cast. There is nothing new or innovative about writer-director Andrew Bezucha's approach to this commonplace material, so he relies on this likable group of pro actors to carry it off and, to a certain degree, it works.

Sarah Jessica Parker delivers the film's best performance. Her Meredith is sympathetic as the outsider in a group of overbearing tightly knit liberals. In the hole from the moment she arrives, she has our sympathies.  However, Meredith is never merely a victim. Her lack of social graces and occasions of running at the mouth when she shouldn't combined with a complete lack of a sense of humor make some of the family's negativity toward her understandable. Parker plays the conflicts well, especially playing against her natural likeability.

Parker is let down on more than one occasion by the script that forces in nearly every well-worn trope of this genre. There is the aforementioned chase scene, a comically inept fight scene and of course plenty of spilled food for characters to roll around in. That we forgive many of these cliches is a function of the lovable qualities of this terrific cast.

The Family Stone is a cousin to a number of memorable family Christmas comedies like Home For The Holidays starring Holly Hunter, the romance and family drama from Love Actually and the movie-of-the-week style tragedy of Meryl Streep's One True Thing. Andrew Bezucha does not lift elements from these films as much as mimic them with his own twist. These are well known tropes that each of these films use to push dramatic buttons and The Family Stone is merely the latest film to engage them.

The cast of The Family Stone makes the familiarity work for them. Like watching old friends gather at a holiday party you can't help but enjoy the way the cast bonds, bickers and eventually falls in food. A more pessimistic viewer might expect more from this excellent cast but that is reviewing the film that The Family Stone is not. Remarking on the film it is, The Family Stone is not to be taken seriously and likely not to be remembered by this time next year.  It is just an average good natured holiday comedy.

Not for the cynical, The Family Stone is an overly familiar holiday family movie that pushes all of the same emotional buttons as is the norm of the genre. That it manages to be quite often funny and occasionally heartfelt is due to a cast of real pros. Like the revival of a favorite play, you know what is going to happen next because you have seen it so many times before, you watch to see this new group of actors give new life to the material. The Family Stone makes familiarity work by dressing it in a whole lot of star power.

Movie Review Morning Glory

Morning Glory (2010) 

Directed by Roger Mitchell 

Written by Aline Brosh McKenna 

Starring Rachel McAdams, Harrison Ford, Diane Keaton, Patrick Wilson, Jeff Goldblum 

Release Date November 10th, 2010 

Published November 9th, 2010

Can one woman cure the ills of a last place network morning show through the sheer force of her adorable-ness? One might also ask can an actress cure the ills of a troubled dramatic comedy through that same adorable-ness? The answer to both questions, based on the movie “Morning Glory,” is a shocking, yes.

Rachel McAdams is so vibrant, energetic and adorable that she wills this otherwise rickety dramatic comedy; the definition of that oh so vague, made up term ‘dramedy,’ into becoming a sweet, endearing romance of woman and her work oh and yeah there is this pretty guy in there too.

Rachel McAdams stars in “Morning Glory” as Becky, an adorable whirlwind of a TV news producer who, when we meet her, is on the verge of a promotion. Or so she thought. Turns out she was being fired due to budget cuts. As with all plucky movie heroines however this is merely a speed bump on the way to the job she needs.

After a comically fraught job search in which our peppy wannabe big city gal irritates the entire news infrastructure by reading her resume, she finally gets an interview. The job is with the 4th place network in America, IBS, as executive producer of the lowest rated morning show on network TV.

Her new boss, Jeff Goldblum, in all his Goldblum-y glory, has zero confidence that she can turn the show around but she can’t make it any worse. Or can she? On her first day Becky fires the co-anchor; a sadly under-used Ty Burrell from TV’s Modern Family, despite his irreconcilable contract and leaves the show minus its required male co-host.

Ahh, but our heroine has a plan; on the IBS payroll is a news legend that due to his multi-million dollar contract has to work or not get paid. Mike Pomeroy (Harrison Ford) was demoted from Nightly News Anchor because of his bad attitude and slight drinking problem. Nevertheless, he’s a big name with a long track record that would be a perfect opposite to bubbly co-host Colleen Peck (Diane Keaton).

Unfortunately for Becky even if he has to by contract, Mike Pomeroy doesn’t want to do morning news. He refuses cooking segments, entertainment interviews and basically anything that your average morning news shows do. Mike longs for the days of actual journalism but as Becky correctly points out, the battle between news and ‘info-tainment’ was fought long ago and Mike’s side lost.

Can the plucky upstart wear down the cantankerous superstar while rescuing the floundering show and corralling a new boyfriend, a fellow news producer played in perfect bland handsomeness by Patrick Wilson? Admittedly, the stakes aren’t all that high but star Rachel McAdams makes each feel like an urgent concern.

This is the Rachel McAdams many thought was coming when she starred as the lead ‘Mean Girl’ opposite Lindsey Lohan or when she battled Cillian Murphy in the innovative thriller “Red Eye.” McAdams has wandered in the woods the past few years starring in junk like “The Time Traveler’s Wife” and seeming to crush her potential with poor choices.

Apparently, McAdams was just waiting for writer Aline Brosh McKenna and Roger Mitchell to give her something she could really play. Play it she does in “Morning Glory” amping up the kind of adorable that would shame puppies and kitties and yet remaining sexy instead of merely cute and substantial rather than just perky. No matter how delightfully scattered Becky is, McAdams infuses her with bright ingenuity and can-do capability.

The rest of “Morning Glory” is riddled with trouble. Harrison Ford is the least likely network news star since Howard Beale and even more cantankerous. Sure, Ford projects a stately air but with his gritted teeth growl it’s hard to believe that even news junkies took to his Mike Pomeroy, no matter if he was on a battlefield in Kosovo or opposite the President.

Diane Keaton plays cute and clueless a la Kathie Lee Gifford quite well but don’t do not consider her character’s back story for too long as it reveals inconsistencies the story cannot explain. Patrick Wilson’s handsome love interest guy is less problematic; he’s merely under-written and called upon to make uncomfortable attitude turns simply because of plot requirements. But other than that, he’s fine.

“Morning Glory” is riddled with all sorts of minor potholes, including a rather arrogant attitude about morning news shows, but Rachel McAdams overcomes all of those troubles by making the movie all about how plucky, adorable, sexy and smart her character is. She is so winning that we can forgive all of the problems around her which are almost meta when you consider the troubles piled up around both character and actress.

Not kidding at all dear reader, Rachel McAdams deserves an Oscar nomination for “Morning Glory.” Any actress who only through the awesome appeal of her performance can turn around an entire movie at least deserves to be in the Best Actress conversation and McAdams does that in “Morning Glory.”

Movie Review Something's Gotta Give

Something's Gotta Give (2003) 

Directed by Nancy Meyers

Written by Nancy Meyers 

Starring Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, Keanu Reeves, Frances McDormand, Amanda Peet, Jon Favreau

Release Date December 12th, 2003 

Published December 11th, 2003 

A strange thing can happen to an actor when they get almost too good at what they do. Audiences no longer perceive what they do as a performance. Jack Nicholson is one of those actors with that wonderful problem. After years of showing off that roguish, untamable charm, many people believe that is the man in real Life. Nicholson's personal life, from a tabloid perspective, does nothing to change that perception. Nicholson's new film Something's Gotta Give, co-starring Diane Keaton, and directed by Nancy Meyers, slyly plays to Jack's perception and then against it to terrific romantic and comedic effect.

Nicholson stars as Harry Sanborn, a record company owner with a fetish for younger woman. Specifically, Harry only goes for woman under 30. His latest little twinkie is Marin Berry (Amanda Peet) who brings Harry to her mother's beach house in the Hamptons for a romantic weekend. Unfortunately, she didn't know her mother, Erica (Keaton), would be there, leading to an awkward meeting in the kitchen between Erica and Harry in his underwear.

From there, things go from bad to worse after a disastrous dinner. Harry and Marin retire to the bedroom and Harry has a heart attack. On the orders of doctors, Harry can't travel and must stay at the beach house, even though Marin is returning to the city. Left alone, Harry and Erica bicker in your traditional romantic comedy fashion until they find a little common ground, and after Harry accidentally catches Erica in the nude. This begins a romantic series of events that aren't what you expect.

This being a romantic comedy, there must be arbitrary roadblocks to keep the lovers apart. One of those is Harry's doctor, played by Keanu Reeves, who takes an interest in Erica. Others are less obvious and are played as emotional roadblocks but are really choices that are made according to the needs of the script.

Director Nancy Meyers knows her chick flicks, having directed Mel Gibson in the blockbuster What Woman Want. Meyers knows the right comic beats to hit and how to get what she wants from her actors. That said, she brings little else to the table as a director. Meyers must rely heavily on the skill of her actors to carry off the material and lucky for her, she is truly blessed in Something's Gotta Give.

To watch a pair of pro's like Nicholson and Keaton fall in love onscreen is a true joy and while not all of the situations the characters find themselves in work, these two brilliant actors make a good deal of them work. Most of the best comedic moments in the film are played with merely a sideways glance, a skill that you just can't teach.

The first half of Something's Gotta Give plays off of what you expect of Jack Nicholson, that free swinging playboy reputation that will follow him for the rest of his life. However, once the two leads are left alone, the film becomes more about Keaton's wonderfully neurotic Erica. A playwright, Erica begins writing her moments with Harry into her latest play leading up to one of the film’s great gags on the set of the play just before it opens.

Something's Gotta Give has elements of your typical romantic comedy, a few too many of those elements for my taste. It wants to be insightful about romance in the later years of life and aging in general but its tone is a little too light for any real insight. What the film has going for it is two terrific actors who never seem to have peaked even as they get older. For that reason, I recommend Something's Gotta Give.

Movie Review Mad Money

Mad Money (2008) 

Directed by Callie Khourie 

Written by Glenn Gers 

Starring Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah, Katie Holmes, Ted Danson, Stephen Root

Release Date January 18th, 2008 

Published January 18th, 2008 

For all her grace, style and class Diane Keaton certainly has poor taste in comedy. Her last picture was the vociferously awful Because I Said So a comedy so witless as to disprove the theory that young Mandy Moore had a bright future in this business. Prior to that Ms. Keaton demeaned herself as the dying cancer ridden matriarch of The Family Stone, a film that proved no matter how many well known actors and actresses you cram into one scene you can't make a bad script good. Now Ms. Keaton demeans herself further with what arguably should have been her first direct to DVD feature Mad Money. This alleged comedy about a down on her luck upper class housewife forced to take a job as a Janitor at the federal reserve where she plots a heist with two stereotypical co-workers is yet another low in the ever devolving career of the woman who once played muse to Woody Allen's finest work.

Mad Money stars Diane Keaton as Bridget, the wife of a wealthy investment banker (Ted Danson, also slumming) who suddenly finds himself out of a job. With their upper class lifestyle on the wane and buzzard neighbors circling their home at the stench of financial death, Bridget forces herself to take a job. Having never worked a day in her life the only work she is qualified for is janitorial. She finds a gig cleaning toilets and taking out the trash at the federal reserve, the place that prints the country's cash. Did you know they destroy the old cash there as well?

Bridget did not know that but once she finds out she hatches a complex plot to steal the cash that would otherwise have been destroyed. She can't do it on her own however, and what luck, the woman in charge of the cash destroying machine (Queen Latifah) happens to be a struggling single mom desperate to get her children out of the 'hood'. She alone is not accomplice enough. They need one more insider and find the help they need in a hippie chick (Katie Holmes) who transports the to be destroyed dollars from one part of the building to the other.

The 'complex' plan involves locks and trash cans... and that's about it. Not much to think about. Director Callie Khouri likely did not want to confuse the film's core constituency of low watt bulbs. The fan base for a film like Mad Money had best not be too bright otherwise they would be watching a better movie. The trailers and commercials have told you already exactly what I have told you, without the witty, cynical banter, obviously. Do our conspirators get caught? What do the respective placeholders who portray their love interests think of this stealing operation?

None of that seems to matter to Khouri or her cast who are more interested in looking cute and reveling in their girl power faux feminism than in actually crafting something that might involve an audience. Mad Money is yet another dismal effort from Diane Keaton whose lack of discernment is becoming a career hallmark dating back to the dreadful First Wives Club and only getting worse from there.

Movie Review Because I Said So

Because I Said So (2007) 

Directed by Michael Lehmann 

Written by Jessie Nelson

Starring Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, Gabriel Macht, Tom Everett Scott, Lauren Graham, Piper Perabo

Release Date December 2nd, 2006 

Published December 2nd, 2006 

In my nearly seven years writing film criticism I have seen some awful movies. Rarely however, have I seen something as brutal as the new romantic comedy Because I Said So starring Diane Keaton. It's not that the film is as badly made as say, Deuce Bigelow, or as poorly acted as the indie feature Undiscovered. No, what makes Because I Said So so notably awful is the cast.

How does a movie starring the legendary Diane Keaton, the lovable Mandy Moore and the reliable Lauren Graham, end up this brutally awful? That is a notable achievement, taking three beloved actors and forcing them into a movie so insufferable that even their innate appeal is dimmed by how terrible this movie is. That director Michael Lehmann once directed Heathers, a legit cult classic, makes this epic misfire so much more of a mystery. Then again, Lehmann also directed Hudson Hawk. Hmm.

In Because I Said So Diane Keaton plays Daphne, a mother of three beautiful daughters who, on the verge of turning 60, has just one wish. Daphne wants to find a man for her youngest daughter, Millie (Mandy Moore). To this end, Daphne commits herself to the task of finding Millie's ideal man by creating an online dating ad for her and then interviewing potential candidates herself. The search leads to a nice guy architect named Josh (Tom Everett Scott) who mom absolutely loves. Also in the running is a nice guy guitar player named Johnny (Gabriel Macht) who mom doesn't so much like but is Millie's perfect type.

If you need a road map to figure which guy Millie ends up with you have either never seen a movie before or have lived your entire life in a cave; cut off from logic. Because I Said So is not merely predictable, predictability I could forgive. No, Because I Said So is such a trainwreck of romantic comedy cliches and artificial roadblocks that it becomes unbearable to watch this cast enact such sub-sitcom levels of convoluted comic idiocy. 

Diane Keaton is a legend. She has won the Oscar for best actress. She has even made a few very bad movies, First Wives Club, Hanging Up, to name a few. But, she has never been this awful in a movie. Her performance in Because I Said So is an epic disaster of over the top gesticulations, shrill dialogue delivery and logic free character development. As a director herself, it's a wonder how Keaton did not see this character going so badly. Or maybe she did. There is a good ten minute sequence in the film in which Keaton doesn't say a word. I can't prove this, but I like to think this was Keaton's silent protest of the movie. I can hope, can't I?

Because I Said So doesn't just slime the great Ms. Keaton, it nearly destroys the career of Mandy Moore. The former pop star had come a very long way in her acting career since her ugly debut in the weepy teen romance A Walk To Remember. She was terrific in a bitchy supporting role in Saved, charming in a bitchy role in American Dreamz, and utterly darling in her cameo on TV's Scrubs. Sadly and unfortunately in Because I Said So, Moore looks like a novice actress, tripping over punchlines and allowing the movie to make her look like a fool in nearly every scene. 

Moore should find some way to sue director Michael Lehmann for allowing her to appear so utterly befuddled onscreen. This is a career low-point that would be difficult to recover from for the veteran Diane Keaton. For Ms. Moore, she may have to look to a TV career before considering film again. Lauren Graham of TV's Gilmore Girls and Piper Perabo of Coyote Ugly round out what is, on paper, a stellar cast. How you make a movie this awful with this cast is truly astonishing. Both Graham and Perabo are thanking their lucky stars that their roles barely rise above cameos.

How bad is Because I Said So? Here is just a hint of what this movie believes is funny. Two scenes of Diane Keaton watching internet porn. Two scenes of Ms. Keaton, legs in the air screaming to the heavens, a dog humping furniture. Some of the most stilted and awkward sex talk in the history of film. Not one, but two all family sing alongs. And, because the family runs a catering business, 3 scenes of people covered in cake.

Now, I can hear skeptics out there reading along and thinking 'of course he doesn't like this movie, it's a chick flick'. Allow me to explain how this works. I loved The Holiday, I loved Love Actually and I gave a glowing recommendation to the movie The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. This is not about genre, or target audience. This is about Because I Said So being one of the worst movies I have ever seen.

In the words of the great Roger Ebert, from the title of one of his great books, I hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Because I Said So is a painfully awful, nightmare of a movie that poor Diane Keaton may never recover from. She is lucky that she was once in Annie Hall and won a very deserved Academy award for Best Actress because otherwise it would be very easy to write her off after a disaster like this.

As it stands, I'm sure Diane Keaton will be back. Let's just hope she fires her agent before he allows her to make another movie remotely as awful as Because I Said So.